Weak
Characters: Shachi, Penguin, Law. Rating: K+. Warnings: none
Shachi knew that it wasn't right.
Of course, right now, there was very little that was right. Battered and bruised (and that was the understatement of the century), they were headed straight for the lair of the leader of the man that had put them in their current state. Even simply taking into account their physical condition alone, it was ridiculous.
If only their physical condition was the only thing they had to worry about. Shachi had yet to sleep a full night since being rescued. First it had been the paranoia – Jack would come back; the Straw Hats would pounce the moment they let their guard down. Now, cozied up nice and safe hundreds of metres below the surface in the Polar Tang, the paranoia had faded to be replaced with the nightmares.
The ones when someone died. Where Law came back but it was too late. The ones where Law never came back, lifeless on Dressrosa.
He wasn't the only one suffering, but he refused to share it. They all had their own pain, trying to take on another's burden as well would be too much (then Law saw through the lies and held onto them like he'd never done before, as awkward as always but determined anyway). It was for that reason that he kept his pain to himself, even from Penguin. Penguin, who had suffered more than any of them – worse injuries, Law's vivre card burning against his chest – but who still held his head high, not quite comforting them but staying the reliable presence he always had been.
Something wasn't right, and it stemmed from Penguin. He wasn't too cheerful, his smile as dulled as the rest of them. He didn't shine like a light about to blow, but something wasn't right. Shachi knew Penguin, had never not known Penguin. Penguin was strong, and proud. He'd never let Shachi see him grieve, not even when their parents were suddenly gone and there was nothing but incense and cold, dull stone to take their place.
So Shachi gave him space, left in the middle of the night even though he was blind and too disoriented to navigate the corridors properly, so Penguin could keep the illusion. It seemed to work, was worth nights curled up on the cold bathroom floor, trembling and knowing that one day his body would protest and he'd end up with a chill. Why did he do it? Why didn't he just bunk with nakama (Bepo would pull him in with open arms if only he knew)?
He thought it was the right thing to do, deceiving his nakama about how much it hurt so they could focus on themselves rather than worrying about him.
Then Law caught him one night and he couldn't hold the deception up any longer, not in the dead of night when he'd let himself break so he seemed whole during the day. He didn't remember getting to bed, his last memory Law's nervous arms pulling him close on the bathroom floor, but when his eyes blinked open from the best night's sleep he'd had since Jack had arrived on Zou he found himself in his captain's bed, with his captain curled around him protectively.
He wondered why Law hadn't taken him back to his own room, but wasn't about to question it when he hadn't wanted to be. Instead, he shifted until his face was buried in Law's shoulder, feeling the younger man stir at the action, and wrapped his arms around him as tightly as his injuries permitted, because now Law had seen him at his worst – broken and ruined on the bathroom floor – he didn't need to hide from him.
Maybe he should do that for Penguin, catch him at his worst so he didn't need to hide away anymore. But Penguin was the strong one and knowing he was breaking and seeing it were two different things. Shachi knew he wouldn't be able to take the sight, not after going on thirty years of Penguin always being the strong one, so he stayed with Law, no longer crying but finding solace in the warmth of his body – all while he hated himself for not having the strength to help Penguin.
Guess who's not done with the post-Zou angst. Oops? Companion to Shatter and Fragile (chapters 79 and 142).
Thanks for reading!
Tsari