Chapter 39: Freeza: The Final Cut(Part 1)
NARRATOR: Last time, on DragonBall Z Abridged...
KRILLIN: WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAA- (explodes to smithereens as Goku and Gohan watch his remains fall from the sky)
Even though Krillin could be annoying at times, nobody wanted to watch the bald monk die.
FRIEZA: Oh, out of all the people I've blown to bits, that one will hold a special place in my heart.
The guild glares intensely at Frieza for mocking Krillin's death.
(Goku is seen shaking in anger)
FRIEZA: Oh what's wrong, monkey? Come on now, give me something funny.
GOKU: (enraged) You... killed my best friend! (continues trembling in anger)
Smoke starts emitting from Natsu's body as he recalled all the times his friends almost died or did die(Future Lucy).
FRIEZA: Ha! That is pretty funny. Hilarious, actually.
(thunder and lightning starts striking around Namek as Goku's hair briefly turns gold and his eyes briefly turn green)
Everyone did a double take at the changes happening to Goku. Even Natsu paused in his own rage to watch Goku.
GOKU: RRAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHH! (transforms into a Super Saiyan for the first time)
"WHAT!?" Everybody screamed in shock.
"Wait a minute...," Levy searched through her notes and remembered the Lord Slug movie.
"So, this is what King Kai was alluding to, and what Vegeta was going on about," Levy's face broke into a grin.
"You mean?" Lucy left the question open for Levy to answer.
"Goku has become a Super Saiyan!" Levy cheered brightly.
"That incomplete form he had before was foreshadowing this then," Lucy concluded. The entire guild turns back to the screen with excitable expressions formed on their faces.
"KICK HIS ASS GOKU!" Natsu roared with a feral grin.
FRIEZA: What?!
GOHAN: Dad?
(Goku, now a Super Saiyan, turns around and sets his sights on Frieza)
FRIEZA: (stunned by Goku's transformation) That's... that's not funny.
"It's gonna be fun for us though, jackass," Gajeel smiled.
(cut to King Kai's planet)
KING KAI: I don't believe it! Goku has truly done it! He has become the one and only Super Saiyan! (small pause) Right?
"Why was there a pause?" Carla raised an eyebrow.
NARRATOR: (hesitantly) Ye-Yeah…
"Why did you hesitate?" Lily asked.
KING KAI: You hesitated there for a second. (small pause) What?
[OPENING SEQUENCE]
(cut to Namek where Super Saiyan Goku is angrily glaring at Frieza)
Natsu bounces excitedly in his seat as he awaits the brutal beatdown.
FRIEZA: What the hell is all this about? What's up with your hair? What's up with your eyes? Answer me!
GOKU: Gohan, take Piccolo, find Bulma, get back to the ship.
"Wait, what just happened?" Lucy blinked rapidly.
GOHAN: But what about you?
GOKU: If Piccolo dies, then all this was pointless! Take him, get to the ship, and get out of here!
"He's actually being smart for once…" Gray looked in disbelief.
"It's like a blue moon," Laxus was shocked.
"If only Salamander could be like this," Gajeel expected Natsu to attack him, but the fire dragon slayer was too focused on the screen.
GOHAN: This is surprisingly well thought-out for you.
GOKU: Gohan, where should you be right now?
GOHAN: The ship?
GOKU: THE SHIP!
"He's being a parent and it makes me happy," Mira wipes a tear away.
GOHAN: Okay! (takes Piccolo and flies away)
FRIEZA: Oh, real cute. But at the very least, I do love a moving target. (starts aiming at Gohan in the sky)
"Sto-"
(Goku quickly appears in front of Frieza and grabs his hand)
"-p him…." Mira was shocked by how fast that was.
Erza grinned at Goku's amazingness. Her eyes gazed around at her fellow guild mate's shocked looks and her grin grew 10 times bigger.
"It's about time everyone recognized Goku's amazingness," Erza spoke to herself.
FRIEZA: (struggling to break free of Goku's grasp) Gah! What are you-? Let go of me!
GOKU: I'm going to break you.
"Oh!" Wendy blinked.
FRIEZA: (meekly) What? (Goku crushes his hand) Agh!
GOKU: Like a Kit-Kat bar.
"Hm," Her eyes stopped blinking.
Natsu was still grinning like a mad man.
FRIEZA: (small pause) ...What?
(Goku punches Frieza in the face, sending him flying across the sky)
FRIEZA: (thinking) What?!
(Goku grabs Frieza and breaks his back)
Natsu's grin kept growing at every hit Goku landed.
FRIEZA: Aaaaaaah! (recovers and starts firing a barrage of Death Beams at Goku) Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
(Goku easily dodges all the shots, with the last one destroying a small island)
"Looks like Frieza needs to work on his aim still," Freed jokes.
"Was that an attempt at a joke?" Bickslow looked disappointed.
FRIEZA: You... you're different. What happened? What the hell are you?
"You haven't figured it out yet?" Erza questioned.
GOKU: Can't you tell, Freezer? It's just like Vegeta said.
FRIEZA: No, you f**king don't!
"YES!" Most of the guild shouted excitedly.
GOKU: I am the hope of the omniverse! I am the light bulb in the darkness! I am the bacon in the fridge for all the living things that cry out in hunger! I am the Alpha and the Amiga! I am the terror that flaps in the night! (starts powering up) I am Son Gokū! and I am a Super...
(Frieza shoots Goku in the face with a Death Beam and growls)
GOKU: (leans forward unharmed) ...Saiyan. (Frieza growls angrily)
"Badass," The guild thought at that moment. Their opinion of Goku has grown immensely.
(cut to King Kai's planet with King Kai is stammering in utter surprise)
YAMCHA: King Kai, what's going on on Namek right now?
KING KAI: You know, you could always just grab my shoulder and watch.
"They can do that?" Levy wrote it down.
YAMCHA: Yeah, but, you kinda... smell?
"I'm not surprised by that," Lucy said.
KING KAI: That's my natural musk. Musk... Musk…
"Stop saying that," Evergreen looked unamused.
TIEN: Stop saying "musk".
KING KAI: Stop eating my food.
KAMI: (telepathically) King Kai, do you hear me?
"Oh Kami!" Wendy was happy.
KING KAI: (telepathically) Oh. Hey, Kami. How's everything going along?
KAMI: (telepathically) Well, I sent off Mr. Popo to collect the Dragon Balls like you asked.
"Guess, he did that offscreen," Levy mused.
KING KAI: Good. The whole plan is coming together.
YAMCHA: I don't think you ever told us your plan.
"He doesn't have to tell you," Gray said.
KING KAI: I don't have to tell you everything! I don't have to tell you anything!
TIEN: And that just about sums up our time spent here.
"He told you all to piss off," Laxus corrected.
KING KAI: Ha-ha.
(cut back to Namek with Gohan carrying Piccolo through the sky)
GOHAN: (notices Goku's ship) Huh? It's the ship! (takes Piccolo inside the ship) See Mr. Piccolo, we're halfway home. I mean, not literally but... just don't bleed out, okay?
"He'd bleed out before you guys even reached earth," Freed said.
GOHAN: (thinking while noticing the ship's controls) God, so many buttons... I forgot, I don't know how to fly the ship. I could have sworn somebody did that for... (out loud) Oh, my God, Bulma!
"He already forgot about her," Lisanna looked disappointed.
"In his defense, this is a very stressful situation," Mira defended the boy.
(cut to Bulma hanging on a cliff)
BULMA: Help...! Somebody...?
(cut to Goku and Frieza)
FRIEZA: I have to admit, this is new, monkey, this is definitely new. But a monkey is still a monkey; and I've killed plenty in my day. Millions, literally millions.
"Is that all you brag about?" Makarov looked unimpressed at this point.
"I'm starting to think that for a galactic emperor, he really doesn't have much," Juvia said.
"If he had anything, then he's lost it thanks to a dysfunctional group of idiots," Laxus said.
FRIEZA: What's the matter, run out of quips? Cat got your tongue? No more words to fail? You think now that you're this so-called "Super Saiyan" that you're better than me, Lord Freeza?!
"It is better," Romeo huffed, proudly.
"Goku's unbeatable now!" Wendy huffed alongside him.
FRIEZA: Well, you're not! I own you! I own your planet! I own this planet! In fact... (charges up a large orange energy sphere) F**K THIS PLANET! (throws energy blast directly at Namek)
"HUH!?" The mages didn't expect that.
GOKU: Wait, I was zoned out there for a second, what?
(Frieza's blast hits Namek's core, emitting a humongous explosion that seemingly destroyed Namek)
"IT CAN'T END LIKE THAT!" The mages shouted.
(cut to King Kai's planet)
KING KAI: No... No, no! Son of a bitch! Gah!
YAMCHA: What's wrong, King Kai?
KING KAI: You dumb assholes are gonna be here forever.
"That's what he's upset about," Lucy sweatdropped.
TIEN: (scoffs) Yeah, real funny, King Kai. (King Kai remains silent) Oh, God, you're serious.
"He's always serious when it comes to you guys being on his planet," Lucy pointed out.
KING KAI: I had this whole plan ready to go, but as it turns out, Frieza's a sore loser and just...
CHIAOTZU: Blew himself up along with his opponent? (Tien and Yamcha are seen giving blank stares) What? It's what I do.
"You did do that," Romeo said.
KING KAI: Yeah, only this time it worked. And now Goku, Gohan, Piccolo, everyone's dead! And I'm stuck with you idiots for the rest of my life!
"Ok, anyone else feel like they're all alive?" Levy asked, raising her hand. Everyone raised their hands in agreement.
KAMI: (telepathically) Should I call you back when you're done screaming, or is that just not happening?
KING KAI: And then there's this cu... (telepathically) Kami?
"You didn't even bother to check if he was alive," Gajeel shook his head.
KAMI: (telepathically) Yes, I wanted to inform you that Mr. Popo has acquired the sixth Dragon Ball and...
KING KAI: (telepathically) You're alive?
"No shit," Gray replied.
KAMI: (telepathically) So this is what counts for omnipotence these days, hmm?
KING KAI: But if you're not dead, then that means Piccolo's not dead, and Namek is still there.
(shows an outside shot of Namek, which is still there but is now detonating due to its core being destroyed)
GOKU: Did... did ya miss?
"His aim really sucks," Lisanna laughed.
FRIEZA: How could I miss?
GOKU: I dunno, how did ya?
"And now he's getting mocked by Goku," Bickslow laughed.
"That's the worst low you could reach.
FRIEZA: I know I hit the core... God, this always happens when I try to perform under stress.
GOKU: Seems to me like you just couldn't go through with blowing us both up.
FRIEZA: That's not the problem, you idiot. I can breathe in space.
"That's good and bad to know," Levy said, writing it down.
GOKU: (gasps) But space is a vacuum!
"Glad to see he's still the same old Goku," Lucy smiled.
FRIEZA: Honestly, I'd say you only have... I don't know, five min... is it five? Ye-yes five- five minutes before this planet explodes, and you perish along with it.
"I'll keep note of that," Levy said.
GOKU: Oh. Well then, I'll just have to kill you in four.
"YEAH!" The guild mages were ready.
FRIEZA: Wait, hold on! I'm only at half my full power.
GOKU: I don't see how that's my problem.
"Good, just focus on beating that evil monster," Lucy was happy.
FRIEZA: No listen! If you let me power up... I'll give you a pizza.
"That's not gonna work again," Laxus smirked.
GOKU: You killed my best friend, Freezer. That's not gonna work anymore!
"Avenge Krillin!" Happy, Wendy, and Romeo yelled.
FRIEZA: Two pizzas!
GOKU: I said I'm done! (starts charging at Freeza) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!
The mage's respect for Goku grew immensely.
FREEZA: With stuffed crust.
(Goku immediately stops on a dime)
That respect died out immediately for everyone, except for Erza and Natsu who were blinded by their own images of Goku.
KING KAI: (telepathically, sounding both insistent and scolding) Gokuuuu...
GOKU: (telepathically) Now hear me out, King Kai. (Frieza starts powering up) If I let him power up to 100% and beat him then, it'll demoramalize him. And he'll never threaten anyone again.
"While that is sort of sound, just finish it now and go home," Makarov scolded.
"I should've known better that he'd make the dumbass choice," Laxus regretted getting excited.
KING KAI: Goku, that is retarded!
"Yes it is," Carla agreed.
GOKU: Stuffed crust, King Kai! You can eat it in reverse. (inside Goku's eye is an actual stuffed crust pizza being ripped apart)
"I can't believe this conversation is happening," Gray looked unamused.
"I can," Lucy speaks, turning her eyes towards Natsu.
KING KAI: I-I can't even believe we're having this conversation.
GOKU: (telepathically) Me either.
FRIEZA: (now at 100% full power) Thanks for waiting, by the way.
"Someone got BULKY!" Elfman couldn't help but flex.
GOKU: (telepathically) Hold on a second, King Kai. (out loud to Frieza) What was tha-?
(Freeza punches Goku in the stomach)
The guild winced at the sudden punch.
GOKU: OOH!
FRIEZA: SMASH MONKEY! (starts pummeling Goku) SMASH MONKEY!
"FIGHT BACK!" Natsu roared.
(cut to Gohan flying in the sky, searching for Bulma)
"GET BACK TO THE FIGHT!" Natsu continued to scream, until Lucy slapped him.
GOHAN: Bulma, where are you?
(Bulma is heard making Taz snarling noises, which catches Gohan's attention and spots her on top of a cliff. Cut to Gohan flying Bulma back to the ship.)
BULMA: Oh, well how nice of you to finally come and get me... only you left me stranded on my own to fend for myself! Planet's going to hell, I almost die, and I'M FREAKING THE F**K OUT!
"Someone slap her out of it," Laxus pleaded.
GOHAN: (while giving an annoyed look at Bulma) Bulma, how high would you have to fall from to hit terminal velocity? (Bulma glares at Gohan and gives no reply) I thought so.
"Good job kid," Laxus praised.
(cut to Frieza kneeing Goku in the stomach)
FRIEZA: I just love how easy it is to get away with this shit with you people. I want to transform, you just sit there and let me. I want to blow the planet up, you just sit there and let me. I want to reach 100% power, and you just sit right there and let me!
"That's true, they really do just let that happen," Gray said.
"To be fair, we make the same mistakes," Erza said. Everyone thought back to their previous fights and realized she was right.
GOKU: (not really fazed by Frieza's assault) So, can I get a Meat Lover's? (Frieza knees him in the face) UNGH!
"He's still focused on the food," Lily shook his head.
(cut to King Kai's planet)
KING KAI: And that is my star pupil. I don't even know why I bother…
Makarov looks at Natsu before turning back to the screen.
KAMI: (telepathically) King Kai, are you there?
KING KAI: (telepathically) Oh Kami, do you have an update for me?
KAMI: (telepathically) Apparently, it's all I'm good for anymore. I wanted to tell you that Mr. Popo has acquired the final Dragon Ball and is ready to summon the dragon.
"That didn't take long," Freed said.
"Really don't have the time for a dragged out quest," Bickslow told him.
KING KAI: (telepathically) Awesome, now let me talk to him.
KAMI: (telepathically) Heh, if you insist.
KING KAI: Alright, now Mr. Popo- (antennae explodes, knocking him down) Gah! (telepathically to Kami) How the hell do you work with this guy?!
"I hope I never have to work with him," Wendy shivered.
"You and me both, kid," Gajeel agreed.
KAMI: (telepathically) It's easier than you think.
(cut to Mr. Popo on Earth with all seven Dragon Balls)
MR. POPO: I'm so f***ing high right now! (summons Shenron, the eternal dragon)
"Just get him high I guess," Macao shrugged.
SHENRON: I am the Eternal Dragon. Speak your wish and I shall... (notices Mr. Popo) Oh, it is you, my master. Is it time to lay waste to this world?
"Wait what?" Everyone did a double take.
MR. POPO: Eh, not yet. Give 'em a couple hundred years, see if they can clean this up.
SHENRON: Then how might I be of service, Lord Popo?
MR. POPO: Good question. Kami, The f**k am I doing?
KAMI: (telepathically) Good question. King Kai, the f**k is he doing?
"He didn't explain it to either of you?" Carla looked unamused.
KING KAI: (gets helped up by Tien) Ah, my head. (telepathically) Okay, listen, I want you to bring back everyone Frieza and his men have killed.
"So, bringing back all of the Namekians!" Wendy looked happy.
"And Vegeta," Gajeel added. Nobody felt like acknowledging that part though.
KAMI: (telepathically) Why?
KING KAI: (telepathically) Are you questioning God?
KAMI: (telepathically) Are you?
"Too many gods," Natsu looked confused.
KING KAI: (telepathically) Not in the mood, Kami!
KAMI: (telepathically) Fine! Not my problem anyway. Mr. Popo-
"Technically it is your problem," Levy corrected.
MR. POPO: I heard. Dragon, bring back all the worthless maggots that were killed by Frieza and his men or, whatever.
SHENRON: As you command, so it shall be. (eyes start glowing)
Chapter End