NOTE: And this chapter concludes the Namek Saga, and I didn't think I'd get this far. Honestly I'm shocked by how many people are actually reading this whether or not it's just to see the characters react to a certain moment or to see them just watch the whole thing. I'm aware that I'm not the best writer and I've made mistakes along the way, but I am trying to resolve those issues going forward. So, thank all of you for the support and advice you may or may not have given.
The next two updates will be the Bardock stuff, so look forward to that. And with that I hope you all enjoy this chapter.
Chapter 41: Freeza: The Final Cut(Part 3)
(Cut to Namek where Frieza's severed body falls to the ground. Cut to King Kai's planet.)
KING KAI: Oh, my God...!
"My exact reaction," Happy agreed with the Kai.
"That was all of our reaction," Carla rolled her eyes.
"I still can't believe he did himself in," Lucy gasped.
"I can, he was an arrogant bastard," Laxus grunted.
TIEN: You know, you keep reacting, trying to prompt us to ask what's going on. You could just tell us.
"He probably won't," Romeo figured.
KING KAI: All right, fine. Frieza got cut in half.
YAMCHA: Whoa!
"Oh, guess he finally caved in," Romeo's eyes widened slightly.
TIEN: Wow, I didn't think Goku had it in him.
"He doesn't," Erza replied, gravely.
"Frieza fucked himself over," Gajeel grunted.
KING KAI: He doesn't. Frieza did it to himself.
(cut back to Namek)
FRIEZA: Aaaah! My organs! Stay in there-stay in your home-daddy needs you!
GOKU: Wow Freezer, you really were a cut above the rest. (Frieza groans)
The guild groans at Goku's insensitive joke.
GOKU: But too bad you didn't make the cut. (Frieza groans harder)
The groans get louder.
GOKU: Guess you could call this a slice of life.
"He knows exactly what he's doing," Lucy groaned at the puns.
"Make him stop," Gajeel pleaded, his hands covering his face.
"If I hear another pun…" Levy threatened.
FRIEZA: Please stop!
GOKU: All right then, I'll cut you a break. I'm gonna split. (turns around and starts to walk away)
The petite word mage punched Gajeel in his ribs in frustration. The dragon slayer barely flinched from the hit, but patted Levy on the head to calm her down.
Laxus growled at the puns. "Better had been the last one."
FRIEZA: Wait! Wait! Wait! I... I know I've done a lot of terrible things, killed quite a number of people, some of which you liked, but may I ask you as one neighbor to another, can you spare a cup of energy?
"After everything you've done…," Natsu was infuriated by Frieza's actions. For somebody as horrible as him to beg for forgiveness disgusted the entire guild.
GOKU: Well...
"Don't even think about it," Lucy warned.
"Goku..for the love of all that is holy…" Mira begged.
KING KAI: (telepathically) NO! NO! NO! (spoken from his planet) NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" The guild was screaming. Not a single one of them wanted Goku do something kind for Frieza.
TIEN: I'm not even asking anymore.
GOKU: Yaaah! (gives Frieza some of his energy)
"NO! WHY!?"
"The one time I wished you weren't such a good person," Erza sighed.
"Why does he have to be such an idiot?" Lucy sighed into her hands.
Natsu grunted a bit, but didn't say much more.
GOKU: Now be responsible with this energy-don't use it to hurt anymore people, or on the drugs.
"He's not gonna listen to you, the bad guys never change," Romeo barked.
Gajeel, Juvia, and Laxus glared in Romeo's direction. The boy slumped down in his seat in fear.
FRIEZA: (wakes up) What, but why?
GOKU: I'm gonna go now, got a long trip home. I'd ask if I could take one of your legs with me, but you're probably hungry too. Bye! (flies away)
"He insinuated cannibalism," Freed deadpanned.
"We're ignoring the fact that he wanted to eat Frieza?" Bickslow asked.
"It's Goku," Was everyone's answer.
FRIEZA: Huh? (thinking) He's... really just leaving me here. He gave me his energy and left me. Maybe this is a sign. Maybe I should change.
"Yeah! Maybe Frieza can change! " Wendy smiled.
"I don't think that's going to happen Wendy," Carla sweatdropped.
"3..2.." Levy counted down with her fingers.
FRIEZA: Maybe this is my second and last chance. Maybe... I was wrong.
"And 1," Levy lowers her finger.
FRIEZA: (out loud) NAH! (clenches his fist and fires one last energy wave, the "I'm The One Who Will Kill You!" Energy Wave, at Goku)
"Oh…." The young dragon slayer frowned deeply.
Everyone else expected it, but were sad to see Frieza waste the opportunity.
GOKU: God dang it, Freezer, now I have to give you more! (fires an Angry Kamehameha, which overpowers Frieza's attack)
FRIEZA: No, no, no, no, no, no, no-! (gets hit by Goku's Angry Kamehameha) YAAAAAAAAAAAAH...!
The guild broke out into laughter at Frieza's funny face.
(the blast explodes, leaving an enormous crater in the water with Frieza nowhere to be seen)
GOKU: (thinking) Huh. Don't see him anymore. Guess he took the energy and left. Speaking of which, where am I going?
"He unknowingly killed a person," Evergreen raised an eyebrow.
"It's Frieza and it was completely justified," Laxus shrugged his shoulders.
"And I don't think Frieza should count as a person," Bickslow spoke.
(cut to King Kai's planet)
KING KAI: Ooh! Aaah! Huah! Aaah!
"Just tell them," Lucy sighed.
YAMCHA: Ahh-
"No," Lucy cut him off.
TIEN: Don't you dare.
KING KAI: Huah! (...) Okay, you win! Goku blew Frieza up.
TIEN: See, was that so hard?
KING KAI: Well, not as hard as it's gonna be to get off Namek.
"Don't worry, he can just get in his ship," Lisanna spoke with little worry.
"Might be easier said than done, sis," Mira pointed back to the screen.
(cut back to Namek where Goku is trying to find his ship)
GOKU: (thinking) Where am I? Where's my ship? Everything looked the same before, now it looks all the same but on fire!
"Is that still racist?" Levy asked, nobody had an answer though.
GOKU: (notices Frieza's ship) Ah, a ship! (lands inside Frieza's ship and starts running) All right, gotta find it!
KING KAI: (telepathically) Goku, hurry
"Yeah! Hurry!" Happy shouted.
(Goku is seen running inside Frieza's ship. Cut to Earth where Gohan is looking up in the sky, worried about his father.)
"Your dad will be fine Gohan, don't worry," Erza reassured. Though the boy couldn't hear her of course.
(Cut back to inside Frieza's ship where Goku destroys a door and reaches the control room.)
GOKU: The controls! Where is it, where is it? (lava erupts nearby Frieza's ship)
KING KAI: It's about to blow!
The entire guild watched anxiously at Goku's impending doom. Hoping that Earth's saiyan makes it out alive.
GOKU: (thinking) Come on, come on! (finds a button) There! (presses the button, and out comes... a muffin)
The guild pauses in disbelief.
"Is that…" Lisanna's jaw dropped.
"It is…" Natsu's and Happy's faces break out into bright smiles.
"MUFFIN BUTTON!" Natsu, Happy, Lisanna and the kids shouted in unison.
GOKU: Yes! (keeps pressing button and more muffins pop up)
KING KAI: (lowers his head in total disbelief) Oh, my God…
"My exact same reaction to this," Laxus shook his head at the stupidity.
"I can't even…" Makarov dropped his staff in disbelief.
GOKU: (continues pressing the button, spawning more muffins) YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY...! (Namek explodes, vanishing completely from the face of the galaxy)
"Aaaaaaannnnnnddddd he died via the muffin button," Levy's face showed no emotion.
"I can't feel bad, because he died surrounded by muffins," Gray placed his face within his hands.
"The dumbest way to go out," Evergreen sighed.
"At least he went out smiling," Erza tried to find the positive.
(cut to King Kai's planet)
KING KAI: It's... it's over.
YAMCHA: What?
KING KAI: Goku could not escape the explosion. Namek is gone, and so is he.
There were some somber thoughts at Goku dying again from all, but one person.
YAMCHA: No... Goku, no...! NOOOOO! (drops to his knees and starts sobbing)
"Why do you care?" Laxus' face showed no caring.
"What do you mean!?" Natsu looked offended. Laxus folded his arms not feeling threatened in the slightest.
"They have Dragonballs, so why do you care?" The lightning Dragon Slayer's simple answer made everyone think about if death actually mattered in this show.
TIEN: Why do you care?
YAMCHA: Ah, what?
TIEN: Why do any of you care? Are you forgetting the whole reason that they went to Namek in the first place? Now we have two sets of Dragon Balls.
YAMCHA: Well, yeah, but you make it sound like death has no consequence.
"Yeah, I mean it still hurts to see someone you love die," Lucy tried to defend the saddened feelings.
"Even though they'll just come back immediately after. This show has no consequences," Freed copied Laxus and folded his arms.
TIEN: It really doesn't. We're literally waiting to go back. Hell, this is Chiaotzu's second time.
CHIAOTZU: Next time I get a free sundae!
"Aw! That's nice!" Lisanna clapped her hands.
"I don't know about the dying part though," Elfman sweatdropped.
YAMCHA: Huh.
KING KAI: Huh.
TIEN: Yeah.
(small pause)
KING KAI: So, who wants to tell Bulma?
YAMCHA: Let me do it. Bulma's my girl.
"Ok, I'm gonna need some popcorn for this," Gajeel grinned like a maniac.
"I think we all will," Macao agreed with the dragon slayer.
KING KAI: Heh! Yeah, okay. Go ahead, stud.
(cut to Earth where Mouri is seen with purple blood on his face)
"I almost forgot they ate Guru," Levy blanched.
"The old bastard deserved it," Gray grunted.
MOURI: And now that I have devoured Guru, I have become the new grand elder!
"Is that how it works?" Freed asked.
BULMA: Huh, seems legit.
YAMCHA: (telepathically) Hey, Bulma! It's me, Yamcha.
BULMA: Oh, hey, hold on a moment, my ex is calling me.
"It's about to get hilariously depressing for Yamcha," Juvia mused.
"I do feel slightly bad for the guy," Lisanna said.
YAMCHA: (telepathically) Hey, girl. It's good to... Wait, ex? What's that about?
BULMA: Yeah, I'm breaking up with you.
YAMCHA: (telepathically) Wha-? But why?
"Because, you don't match her needs," Juvia answered.
"And you're not that much of a man either," Gajeel laughed.
BULMA: You haven't called me in months.
"To be fair, he's been dead and they didn't know they could communicate via King Kai," Erza decided to defend Yamcha a bit.
YAMCHA: (telepathically) I have been dead!
BULMA: Oh, well, that's not stopping you now is it?
"They have important information to give you," Carla explained.
YAMCHA: (telepathically) Do not do this right now!
BULMA: Hey, you wanna know how this is ending? (to Vegeta) Hey, Vegeta. Wanna come live with me?
"Oh...she did not just.." Lucy's jaw dropped.
Gajeel fell out of his seat laughing. Others were either shocked by Bulma's actions or were also laughing at Yamcha's misfortune.
VEGETA: Only if it's got a pool.
"She's rich, I'm sure there's multiple pools," Lily responded.
YAMCHA: (telepathically) He's the reason I'm dead!
BULMA: Well then, I guess he's just more of a man then you, isn't he?
Gajeel's laughter increased ten fold.
YAMCHA: (telepathically) Oh, you dirty BITCH!
KING KAI: Yeah, okay, I'm gonna take over- this isn't going anywhere.
"It was never moving in the first place," Laxus added.
"Honestly, them talking was a mistake," Lily sighed, looking back at Gajeel catching his breath.
YAMCHA: (telepathically) Now you listen here...
KING KAI: (telepathically) Tenshinhan. (a snapping sound is heard)
YAMCHA: (telepathically) Aaah! My good leg!
"How did he break a dead guy's leg?" Levy questioned, but she had no answer.
KING KAI: (telepathically) Okay listen, Gohan's fatherless and the Namekians are homeless so... that's a thing. Have fun delivering the message, now I gotta go cast up Yamcha's leg.
"Just dump the information on her, shouldn't have expected a heavy discussion from him," Erza glared.
YAMCHA: (telepathically) Why!? (a hanging up sound is heard)
BULMA: Huh. Well, uh, Gohan, Goku's dead.
GOHAN: Damn it!
"Not the reaction I was expecting from him," Erza looked surprised.
"He has been through this before," Mira told the knight.
"Still, he should show some sadness," Erza sighed, in relectuance.
BULMA: Namekians, your planet blew up.
"She really doesn't care, and at this point I don't blame her," Evergreen pushed up her glasses.
"They have dragon balls," Laxus told her.
NAMEKIANS: (in unison) Damn it!
BULMA: So, until we can use the Dragon Balls, who wants a big ol' sleepover?
"I do!" Happy raised up his paw.
"We can have a sleepover with Lucy afterwards Happy!" Natsu told his best friend.
"HELL NO!" Lucy screamed at the two.
MOURI: You think you can accommodate the entirety of my people?
BULMA: My dad's a billionaire, genius, playboy, philanthropist.
"That's gonna keep being an answer to everything isn't it?" Levy asked.
(a ship is shown flying over to their are, with '"Back in Black" by ACDC 'playing inside)
BULMA: Speak of the devil. (the ship lands on the ground)
GOHAN: Wait, I feel a dark presence in the ship. (the hatch opens with Chi-Chi running out of the ship and stopping in front of a group of Namekians)
CHI-CHI: (in a demonic voice) WHERE'S MY BABY?!
"And Chi-Chi makes her return!" Lisanna clapped her hands. Her guild mates however weren't sure if they should share that sentiment.
(cut to the ship taking everyone to the Capsule Corporation in West City)
NARRATOR: And so, the Namekians were relocated to the Briefs' compound.
DR. BRIEFS: (referring to the group of Namekians) So honey, you say all of these are your friends from high school?
"Why would they all look the same?" Evergreen looked at the screen in confusion.
BULMA: Yes, Dad.
DR. BRIEFS: Tell them to keep out of my scotch!
"He bought it, and I actually believe it," Carla facepalmed.
(cut to the Mouri playing golf)
NARRATOR: The Namekian adults learned golf.
Makarov stroked his beard in thought. "I should do some golfing once we finish this."
GOLF ANNOUNCER: (silently) Tricky bit of putting here. Very difficult read from this angle and the greens have been running rather fast today. Mouri looks like he's aiming slightly to the right of the hole and... (Mouri makes the shot) good for par.
"Good job!" Wendy gives a golf clap.
(cut to Dende and two Namekian children playing cards)
NARRATOR: The Namekian children learned strip poker.
"I'm sorry what!?" The adult members did a double take.
DENDE: All right, sprouts, lay 'em on the table.
"That's just wrong," Erza was furious with whoever allowed those kids to play the game.
Macao and Carla turned to their respective kids. "Don't ever play that game!"
Wendy and Romeo only nodded their heads quickly.
(cut to Gohan studying at his house)
NARRATOR: Gohan caught up with all his studies.
"I'm so sorry Gohan," Natsu mourned for the kid.
"It's not that bad, Natsu!" Erza reprimanded the dragon slayer.
"It is with you," Natsu mumbled under his breath.
CHI-CHI: You read it, you learn it, you love it!
Erza nods her head, agreeing with Chi-Chi's methods.
GOHAN: But Mom, I've already read Huck Finn.
CHI-CHI: (holds up an "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" book) Yes, but this one had the n-word taken out!
The guild wonders what that word could be.
(cut to Piccolo meditating)
NARRATOR: Piccolo... did his usual thing; only with company.
"Yeah! He's no longer alone," Lisanna pumped her fist.
"Someone else can still bore to death," Mira huffed.
NAIL: (So, uh, you wanna go hang out with our race?)
PICCOLO: (thinking) No…
"That's mean!" Wendy pouted.
NAIL: ('Cause, you know, this maybe the last chance we'll ever get.)
PICCOLO: (thinking) No.
NAIL: (Well, you're boring.)
"Nail's my favorite for a reason," Mira giggled.
PICCOLO: (thinking) And you're ruining my meditation.
NAIL: (You're not meditating, you're napping-I know the difference!)
"Ooooohhhhh!" The childish members laughed at the exchange.
(cut to Vegeta standing next to a Capsule Corporation spaceship)
NARRATOR: Vegeta did what he does best...
VEGETA: Sayonara, bitches! (steals spaceship and launches into space)
"And he's gone now," Lucy deadpanned.
"Eh, I'm sure he'll be back," Levy spoke, unsure if that would be a good thing.
DR. BRIEFS: Son of a bitch took my scotch!
"I'd kill any man that tried to take my booze," Canna gurgled.
BULMA: Call me!
"She really wants Vegeta, like how I want my Gray," Juvia dreamily sighed. Her body swayed into Gray's side softly. The ice-mage decided to give her the moment.
NARRATOR: And soon four months-or one Namekian year-passed, and the Namekian Dragon Balls became ready for use.
"Alright, time for more wishes," Romeo grinned.
(cut to Dende, Bulma, Master Roshi, Piccolo, Dr. and Mrs. Briefs, Mouri, and the rest of the Namekians standing in front of the now functional Namekian Dragon Balls)
DENDE: During our time squatting here on Earth, we taught the Dragon how to speak English.
"Highly convenient," Levy raised an eyebrow.
"Language barriers are a bitch," Gajeel grunted.
BULMA: Oh, well, that's convenient.
DENDE: Rise Porunga!
BULMA: Wait a second, I just thought of something, maybe we shouldn't do this out in the middle of the... (sky turns dark and Porunga rises out of the Dragon Balls)
"Too late for hindsight now," Carla deadpanned.
"They really need to start planning these things out better," Makarov pinched the bridge of his nose.
WOMAN: (notices Porunga in the sky) Aaah! Gojira!
(crowd starts frantically screaming "Gojira", "Godzirra", or "Godzilla")
"And there's the mass panic," Lucy expected.
"Nothing screams giant monster, like mass panic," Mira sighed, blissfully.
POLICE OFFICER: (holding up a megaphone) Attention everybody. *clears throat* Godzirra, Godzirra. Godzirra, Godzirra, Godzirra. Godzirra, Godzirra.
(most of the crowd sigh in relief and continue to say "Gojira", "Godzirra", or "Godzilla" in mild interest and go back to their own business)
"No idea what just happened, but at least everyone calmed down," Wendy sighed in relief.
PORUNGA: You have summoned the great Porunga. Make your wish and I'll-
DENDE: Okay listen, I'm sure you get this a lot, but can we just get like six wishes? 'Cause we're just gonna bring you back again in four months and do this crap again. Plus, we're just bringing some schmucks back to life.
"A little rude," Lisanna frowned.
"Being rude can help get the point across better sometimes," Gajeel explained.
PORUNGA: Well, that is unconventional, but considering the ease of these wishes, I will accommodate.
"Give it a second," Levy told everyone.
DENDE: And a planet.
PORUNGA: Oh, that's just a dick move!
"And there's the unsuspecting kicker," Levy smiled.
"We're not shocked that he can just wish an entire planet to life?" Lily asked.
"At this point, I'm not shocked these dragon balls can do almost anything," Carla answered, dryly.
DENDE: All right, let's get the hard one out of the way. Dragon, build the Namekians a new Namek!
PORUNGA: (eyes glow red) Donezo.
"That was incredibly fast," Lucy said.
DENDE: Sweet! All right, you guys do whatever you want.
BULMA: First, Tien and Chiaotzu!
(Porunga's eyes glow red and Tien and Chiaotzu get brought back to life)
CHIAOTZU: Oh, hey...! We're back! Kinda want that sundae, though.
"You wanna die again?" Carla asked, baffled.
"It's free ice cream though," Happy told her. Carla stared at the blue cat dryly.
TIEN: Chiaotzu…
CHIAOTZU: I'll wait.
"That's better," Lisanna smiled.
BULMA: Next, (in disdain) Yamcha.
"Ugh," Gajeel groaned loudly. Levy smacked him in the arm.
YAMCHA: (falls inside a pond) Aah! There's water in my cast! I'm gonna get gangrene! Aaaah!
The guild laughed at Yamcha's plight.
DENDE: And I guess you want to wish back your dad now, huh?
GOHAN: Actually, we want to save him for last.
(brief pause between the two)
DENDE: Yeah, like I said, you want to wish your dad back, right?
"He really doesn't want to bring Krillin back," Erza shook her head in disapproval.
"Krillin hasn't been the most welcomed company for Dende," Gray chuckled.
GOHAN: Dende, we have to wish Krillin back.
DENDE: Ugh, fine. We wish back... Krillin.
KRILLIN: (gets brought back to life) WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH!
The dragon slayers all covered their ears at Krillin's loud screaming.
"Somebody shut him up!" Gajeel yelled.
"Krillin you're alive! Stop screaming!" Wendy shouted as well.
"Ahhhhgggg!" Natsu screamed.
GOHAN: Krillin, you're alive!
KRILLIN: WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH! WAAAH!
"SHUT UP!"
"God, he just came back and is already annoying again," Lucy sweatdropped as she rubbed Natsu's back.
GOHAN: Eh, just give him a minute. And now, last but not least, bring back my dad!
Everyone started paying better attention to the screen in anticipation for the hero's return.
DENDE: Bring back his dad!
(Porunga's eyes start glowing but suddenly stops)
PORUNGA: I cannot do this.
"What?"
GOHAN: (laughs but stops) What?
PORUNGA: The one called Goku is still alive.
"HUH!?" Everyone looked equally shocked by the revelation.
"H-how!? Pretty sure we watched him blow up in a pile of muffins!" Levy questioned.
"Maybe the dragon will explain it?" Lily hoped.
GOHAN: Wh-What? He is?
BULMA: That's great! Then just wish him here.
GOHAN: Dragon, will my father here!
"Yeah bring him back!" Natsu shouted.
(Porunga's eyes start glowing but stops again)
PORUNGA: Uh, sorry. Can't do that either.
"Ok, I want an explanation as to why the all powerful wish granting dragon can't bring back the deadbeat dad," Levy huffed, annoyed.
"Seems we found something he can't do," Lily turned to Carla.
"Guess we have, no matter how asinine it is," Carla sighed.
GOHAN: Okay, what?
PORUNGA: The one called Goku wishes not to return.
"EXCUSE ME!?" The ladies of the guild shouted in unison.
"What the hell could be more important than going home to your friends and family!?" Lucy looked the most upset. The Celestial mage thought back to her own father for a second.
"Typical dads," Canna shook her head, also thinking back to her own father.
GOHAN: Pardon?
DENDE: He said your father wishes not to return.
GOHAN: I heard what he said. I want an explanation!
"We all want a damn explanation," Laxus grunted. He started taking a liking to Gohan and pitied the kid.
"Knowing Goku...I could think of one," Gray thought to himself. He didn't think it would be safe to say it outloud.
PORUNGA: Well, I'm sorry. Wishing all your other friends back to life and building a planet has left me a little worn out! He doesn't want to come back, end of story. Now, if you have another wish for me, I can try that. Otherwise, bite me.
"Turns out all wish granting dragons can be bitchy," Bickslow laughed.
DENDE: Gohan, I... I know it must be hard, but maybe your dad is off somewhere else, doing something really important.
"I HIGHLY doubt this," Evergreen sunk into her seat.
DENDE: I just want you to know that... that I'm here for you and... and that... I... I love you.
"Awwwwww!" The girls' hearts melted at the confession.
GOHAN: (completely stunned) Wha-? What?
"And just like his father, Gohan is completely oblivious," Lisanna smirked.
"He's still young," Mira defended.
DENDE: Wha... What did I-? Did-did I say it too soon? (starts freaking out) Oh, God, I said it too soon! OH, GOD, I F**KED IT UP! DRAGON, TAKE EVERYONE FROM OLD NAMEK AND PUT THEM ON NEW NAMEK!
"There's always next time Dende!" Juvia smiled as the supporter for love.
"Don't run away from love!" Lisanna yelled.
(All the Namekians get teleported away to New Namek and the sky light up. Bulma places her hand on Gohan's shoulder while everyone else looks up toward the sky.)
DR. BRIEFS: What a fa-
"Not appropriate," Erza glared at the screen.
[ENDING SEQUENCE]
[STINGER]
(cut to Vegeta's spaceship flying off in space)
"Oh, do we get to see where he's heading to?" Freed questioned.
VEGETA: This ship will take me where I need to go. Now I can train without anyone bothering me. ("Ghostbusters" ringtone starts playing)
The familiar chime brought back a memory for certain mages in the guild.
"Noooo…" Lucy's face morphed into mortification.
"Yeeeeesssss!" Happy bounced up and down.
VEGETA: What the hell is that? A phone? (turns on phone, revealing the caller to be Nappa)
NAPPA: Hey, it's me. Don't ask me how I got this number, I've got people.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Lucy collapsed further into her seat.
"NAPPA'S BACK!" Happy cheered bouncing around Lucy's fallen body.
"How is he back?" Romeo asked, shocked.
"I'm sure he's going to explain," Levy felt the headache coming.
VEGETA: What the hell is going on?!
"The question we're all asking," Erza agreed with the prince.
NAPPA: Okay listen, I figured out that they used the Dragon Balls to wish back everyone that was killed by Frieza's men. Technically, you worked for Frieza when you killed me, so BAM, Nappa's back, baby! Woo-whoo!
"That does make sense," Levy acknowledged.
"But, what about all the people he killed?" Juvia pondered out loud.
VEGETA: What about all the ones you killed?
NAPPA: Well, technically I worked for you, but that has changed. I'm in Hollywood now!
"That...again makes sense," Erza looked astonished. Nappa never seemed like the brightest of people beforehand.
"At least Nappa's no longer killing people," Lisanna brought up.
VEGETA: What, are they doing a live adaptation of Mr. Clean?
NAPPA: Ha! That's hilarious. Find me the guy who writes your material and give me his number, because I'm a producer now.
"Dead Zones' epilogue suddenly makes more sense now," Levy smiled.
"And I totally want to know the guy who writes Vegeta's lines," Gajeel wanted more material to insult people(Specifically Natsu).
VEGETA: Of course you are. What do you even do?
NAPPA: Actually, I'm in charge of this new project- wrote it myself. It's about this one guy who's killed tragically by his best friend, but then comes back as a ghost and haunts him. I call it: "Citizen Nappa".
"That sounds awfully familiar," Juvia said.
NAPPA: Merchandising rights alone are gonna make a f**king mint. We just signed on this great new actor, too. Name's Mark Satan. (shows Vegeta a picture of Mark Satan) Need to work on the first name, thinking "Hercule". What do you think?
"That Vegeta should sue, but that would just end badly for him," Macao said.
VEGETA: I...
NAPPA: Why do I care? You're not on my board.
"True, but advice from others doesn't hurt once and awhile," Lucy said, thinking about the times Levy helps her with her book.
VEGETA: But I...
NAPPA: Listen, I'll see you around, and when you're back on Earth, give me a call. We'll do lunch! Ciao! (hangs up)
"I think we can all agree Nappa is 100 times better as a movie producer!" Romeo said to the guild. Everyone was happy to see Nappa using his second chance at life to be a better person. Unlike a certain prince of all saiyans.
VEGETA: God... damn it... Nappa.
"Aw! He still cares!" Wendy cheered.
(Vegeta's spaceship is seen flying off into the cosmos)
[CREDITS PLAY]
[BONUS SCENE]
(cut to the floating rubble and debris of old Namek, where Freeza's mutilated body is floating around in space)
"HOW IN THE HELL!?"
"HOW DO YOU JUST SURVIVE A PLANET EXPLOSION!?" Levy screamed.
"Not to mention that he was cut in half and blasted by Goku. He should be dead by all rights," Makarov stared in disbelief.
If there was one thing the guild was learning throughout this entire saga is that Frieza is one tenacious bastard.
FRIEZA: (weakly) Dragon Balls... Dragon Balls...
"And he's still focused on the dragon balls," Freed shook his head.
(What's left of Frieza's body continues to drift off in space until it was founded by another spaceship arriving at the scene, which is his father's, King Cold. Frieza immediately gets taken on board and put in a healing tank before being put back together with several cybernetic parts by King Cold's men, being reborn as a cyborg.)
"HE'S ALIVE! ALIVE!" Happy screamed.
FRIEZA: What happened to Namek? What happened to the Dragon Balls?
"That's the least of your concerns at the moment," Carla sweatdropped.
KING COLD: It seems, my little princess, in your anger, you destroyed them both.
FRIEZA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
"Smells like a reference," Levy thought to herself.
(camera shows an outside view of the cosmos before fading completely black, with the word "PLTLH" appearing at the bottom right of the screen)
"Whelp, that's the end of that viewing," Mira jumped up on the stage to turn off the lacrama.
"That's my cue to headout then," Laxus said, getting up out of his seat. The lighting dragon slayer headed to the doors of the guild.
"Ah! Wait for me Laxus!" Freed chased after him. Evergreen and Bickslow also rushed to follow Laxus out of the guild.
"My darling Gray, my legs fell asleep! It would be great if you could carry me home," Juvia said, dramatically. Gray looked at the water mage leaning into his side and sighed in defeat. Getting out of his own seat, Gray picked Juvia up bridal style and left the guild with a gushing Juvia.
"C'mon Wendy, time for us to go home," Carla commanded, sprouting her wings. Taking a look at her dragon slayer, Carla noticed that Wendy didn't hear her. "Wendy...WENDY!" Carla shouted, startling the girl.
"Sorry, I was thinking how useful it would be to have our own dragon balls to help people," Wendy told her partner. Carla couldn't help but smile at Wendy's wishful face.
"Well, maybe one day someone could find some wish granting object that could fulfill that purpose," Carla responded as the two left.
"Can't wait to watch more huh Gajeel?" Levy asked her lover. The dragon slayer grunted looking down at Levy as the three walked out of the guild.
"What makes you say that?" He asked back.
"You really want more of Vegeta's lines," Levy stated, smugly.
"Vegeta seems to be your favorite character," Lily laughed.
"Shut up! He's far from it!" Gajeel blushed.
"Something wrong Natsu?" Lucy asked the dragon slayer. She noticed Natsu had been quiet for awhile now. He turned to her and got out of his seat.
"Yeah, you ok Natsu?" Happy asked.
"Goku's really cool. Don't you guys agree?" Natsu smiled brightly. The celestial mage's face morphed into a similar smile like his.
"Yeah, I guess he really is cool," Lucy replied.
"Aye Sir!" Happy laughed.
Chapter End