Chapter Fourteen
What If
"Emma you really have to be better about her cues at night, I know it's hard, but unfortunately Xaviére needs the reinforcement all the time," Regina told her as she cleaned up the co-sleeper on Emma's side. Between Rowan sleeping between them, and Darien cuddled up to Regina, they had decided to get two co-sleepers for the girls so they wouldn't be crushed in the sheer amount of bodies.
"I'm sorry, I just don't notice when she's squirming. I will do better I promise." Regina nodded. She was tempted to just leave Lincoln on her side, but Xaviére was just kind of a nightmare for her, she wanted to be on Emma's side. She also stopped nursing from anything but the bottle. Which was fine by Regina, it was much easier to exclusively feed Lincoln and Darien then three babies. Hell, she had even stopped eating her milk, she preferred the goat's milk-based formula.
"It's okay, I'm just tired, and I'm grumpy," Regina told her taking the items into the laundry basket. "Can you just get the girls their…." Emma's phone rang and Regina just waved her off as Emma looked at her apologetically and went to get ready for work. Regina just put Xaviére in the laundry basket, and got Lincoln in the sling, and Darien on her hip. Xaviére thought it was great when she floated the basket down the stairs with magic, making her giggle. Once she had Darien in her high chair to her displeasure to keep her from walking away and Lincoln and a clean Xaviére in their bounce chairs she quickly made breakfast and lunch for Emma to take to work.
"Bye babe!" Emma called.
"Em, wait." Regina hurried out with her lunch bag and thermos.
"Here made you breakfast and lunch, and coffee." Emma smiled at her and kissed her.
"You are seriously the best partner a woman could ask for," They kissed a moment before Emma was rushing out to her bug which was happily back in commission as a police cruiser. People were used to Emma's bug as the work car. Regina shut the door and went back to the kitchen where she got breakfast on the table for Rowan and Henry as well as their lunches. Rowan was going to preschool now and she really enjoyed dressing up in her uniform and playing with the other kids. It was attached to the elementary school and she could even take the bus with Henry. She got them up and dressed in Rowan's case before she handed Darien her food.
"Don't glare at me, I'm sorry we're behind schedule today," Regina told her. Darien still glared as she ate her eggs. Regina missed her own breakfast as she started to clean up her kitchen, well her house really. This was like her third day being back to full speed and honestly with Darien's first birthday just around the corner, she wanted to be at full speed before that occurred. That meant cleaning her house thoroughly. Once the kitchen was finished, she kissed the kids goodbye as they walked to the bus stop by themselves. There was a closer one although a lot of times Henry and she had walked into the town when he was younger on her way to work, and there was a main stop there as well.
"I know, I know," Regina said. She put Darien down and she toddled away to the bathroom on her own at least. It helped that Regina let her run around the house completely pants less so it made sitting down on a training potty easy for her. She put Lincoln and Xaviére down on a blanket with some toys while she got the den cleaned up.
"Oh, Regina what are you doing to yourself," Regina said to herself as Lincoln and Xaviére were already hungry and Darien wanted to nurse. "You have magic, and yes you did it all without it with one baby, but now you have two and a toddler. No shame." Regina cleaned the entire house with magic. She made a bottle for Xaviére suddenly feeling more relaxed. Lincoln nursed one side and Darien the other and somehow, she held the bottle for Xaviére. She knew it didn't help their bond at all as she couldn't interact with everyone during feeding. But she was doing her best that she interacted and bonded with them at other times thoroughly.
"All right mommy has time for a shower today, so we're going to go upstairs and do that now." Regina just ran a bath though when Xaviére pooped without warning. She was honestly going to be the hardest to work with. Lincoln was an old pro, but Xaviére was not.
"I'm just going to have to get less sleep," Regina murmured rinsing her off before she put her in a floating donut in the tub along side Lincoln. She kept the water low enough that it barely reached Darien's chest though if she were standing on her own. They all moved their feet happily, and Regina knew they should get them swimming sooner rather than later, but Emma and she were scheduled to take Darien for her first lesson. And once Darien was comfortable and could stay in the baby pool with Henry, they'd take the girls. Otherwise neither of them were comfortable trying to not drown one child while helping Darien swim.
"Oh, good strong kicks baby, you are going to do so good at your swim lesson next week aren't you?" Darien gave her a big smile and kicked some more. Eventually she hung onto the side and played with some toys with her sisters trying to grab at whatever she gave them. Regina smiled at them as she got washed while their focus wasn't her. Eventually she got out, but they were having fun, so she let them stay until lunch time and her stomach was demanding she feed it on time. Plus, the girls were being lulled to sleep by the water. She got them put down in her room while Darien watched the water leave the tub. Once Darien was dried and dressed as well, they had lunch together and then Darien was down for her nap. Regina got the bathroom cleaned and prepped for dinner until Lincoln woke up first to nurse, and she had a bottle waiting for Xaviére who woke up thirty minutes later to her relief, because it gave her some one on one time with each of them during feeding. Since they both went back to sleep. During that time Ruby came over to babysit while Regina took Darien to a mommy and me class where they sang songs and jumped and ran over various soft structures as well as climbed. The big smile Darien gave her when they played was worth every bit of sleep she wasn't getting.
"Oh, you're getting so big," Regina said as she tossed Darien in the air. Darien giggled.
"Oh, I caught you!" Emma cried. Regina blushed.
"You didn't see anything," Regina told her. Emma just gave her an evil grin.
"Nope you're not allowed to give me lip anymore." Emma gave her and Darien a kiss. "I had a break I thought I would get some play time in with Darien."
"Mama." Darien reached for her and Emma easily took her giving her the one million middle of the day kisses she had missed at lunch time.
"Of course, why don't you play while I grab Rowan?" Regina asked.
"We can go together in a bit, when I say I have a break, I mean I'm on call, I need to get out of the office, David's driving me insane with how much he misses Mary Margaret." Regina frowned. They'd had Mary Margaret put away for psychiatric treatment and she had been refusing to see David at all much to Archie's disappointment.
"All right." Regina snapped photos of Emma running around with Darien who was so happy to see her. Neither of them ever got tired of the way Darien smiled at them when they bonded with her. She was always going to be their little miracle. After Darien was tired and signed, she was finished Emma, lifted her up and carried her back to Regina. They headed to get Rowan who was excited to show them her drawings for the day.
"Can we take to Daddy?" Rowan asked. Emma smiled at her and nodded. David had been so much better about acknowledging Rowan as his daughter that they were starting to bond. However, he was disappointed though whenever she refused to spend more than one night in her opinion away from home. He tried to tell her, she was supposed to live with him, but Rowan routinely refused going so far as to magically transport herself back to them if he pushed the subject. David was of course ecstatic she had even wanted to stop by and promptly put up the photo for all to see. They returned home, and the girls were up again, and giggling so hard at Ruby's rendition of the big bad wolf.
"Seriously I can only get one to laugh at a time," Emma pouted. Regina chuckled and rubbed her back as she stripped Darien of her pants, underwear, and shoes before setting her loose.
"The real crime is that they're hairless like you were, and I can't rub their curls," Ruby told her sticking out her tongue. "Why did you have to ruin Regina's genetics like that?" Regina burst out laughing then along with Rowan as Emma pouted.
"I didn't ruin in anything," Emma cried.
"Yeah exihibit A is this lush head of curls right here," Ruby said as she rubbed Darien's curls making her giggle and cuddle Ruby all the same.
"Are you staying for dinner pup?" Regina asked. Ruby nodded with a grin.
"Sure am!" Ruby exclaimed. "I have missed your cooking." Regina nodded.
"Well I leave you three to be the fun ones, but I have work to do."
"Eh they never pay attention to me when Ruby is around, I'll help you," Emma told her as Rowan hurried into Ruby's waiting arms. Regina nodded as they headed into the kitchen, but then Emma just took the time to make out with Regina, it wasn't dire that she started on dinner now it was still the early afternoon after all.
"Sooooo I've been thinking all day with your new-found freedom, we could plan a date, in town if you like, I know how hard it was to leave Darien so soon.
"Darien was much younger and much less work alone, so wherever you want that date is fine by me," Regina told her. "Plus weighed myself this morning, they've finally eaten all the fat they gave me." Emma laughed.
"So does that mean I can bring soda back into the house now." Regina nodded.
"I suppose, but really you don't need it, I remind you your dad just had a heart attack." Emma groaned.
"How long are you going to use that to get me to eat my vegetables?" Emma asked.
"Forever love," Regina told her giving her little kisses.
"Fine, but I just want you to know that I'm going to be wearing the sexist suit on our date, so you won't be able to resist me."
"If that's the case we are going to need the kids to stay at someone else's house, there can be no interruptions."
"Glad you said that, because I already asked the Godmother from each baby to take them this Friday, and Dad will take Henry and Rowan. This way we can even get everything for Darien's first birthday all set up, and I planned on poofing Darien to her room, so that she's all dressed and perfect when she comes down the stairs to see her wiggles themed first birthday."
"Good you wear the suit and I'll wear the thong I expect you to take off with your teeth," Regina whispered. Emma groaned as she conjured up all sorts of images in her mind. "And don't worry your mouth won't stay dry long."
"Sometimes you are just literally too hot to handle," Emma groaned. Regina chuckled as the sound of little feet running got her attention. Emma and her parted slightly and Rowan soon appeared.
"Demi and I wants our afternoon snack," Rowan told them.
"Oh, I don't know, you forgot a word in your sentence," Regina told her. Rowan frowned as she thought.
"Pees?" She asked as Emma was silently signing it behind Regina's back.
"That's right please," Regina said. "I won't ask you for the sign since I'm sure your sister was already doing it behind me." Rowan just smiled up at her in response as she went into the refrigerator and found the turkey and avocado roll ups from yesterday's lunch in a silicone bag. She unlocked it and gave it to Rowan who ran out.
"One day she's going to learn to say thank you," Regina told her shaking her head. Emma chuckled.
"Oh, Reg she's three, let her be for now." Emma gave her a lot of kisses and her version of helping now involved wrapping her arms around Regina.
"Oh, I did cross one thing off your list for you while I was at work, I felt bad about this morning so I thought I could at least do this for you," Emma murmured as Regina made meatballs.
"Oh, what did you cross off?" Regina asked.
"I made doctor's appointments for the girls about their hearing, and their vaccine appointment. I realized I had time to do that from my desk where as you are usually actively running around after Darien now."
"Bright side I'm not still indefinitely pregnant," Regina made a face.
"Bright side that implant is working, and my true love kisses haven't resulted in accidental babies."
"That's the best part," Regina sighed, and she had been religiously checking too although she didn't doubt not for lack of Emma's magic trying even though Emma herself was horrified. At least it had her working hard on the book work until Regina was strong enough to help her with practical side of magic. "But thank you so much love, that's one last thing I have to do and that's great." Emma smiled happy she had done something right today after this morning or well last night, she felt so crap about failing in doing well with communicating with Xaviére so that she knew when to potty like Lincoln and Darien. While Emma did reason that Regina was the more experienced one she felt like she kept missing Xaviére at just all the wrong times, more times than she got it right. And maybe it wouldn't be so bad if Regina had asked her to try, rather than her insisting that she could do it since Xaviére took bottles and she could take on the bathroom work as well. She did it with Darien, but as Regina often said, Darien was just easier.
"Any luck with Xav and the potty?" Emma asked.
"I put her in cloth diapers by nap time. I just wanted to get a quick shower and without warning she just went on herself poop and all. I just can't figure out her cues, I might need a day of having all my attention on her. Maybe they're just subtle and if Darien is screaming Mami for my attention. Speaking of attention, we really need to make time for a Henry and Moms day where he enjoys our attention, well mostly me since you at least still get a minute for video games and chats at night. Meanwhile I'm passed out with three babies and a toddler."
"He knows you're exhausted, but what do you have in mind, I think he'd really enjoy that."
"Maybe we can have brunch with him on Sunday if we can get a babysitter for the short term, but long term I was thinking comic con. He's been such a trooper and he's been letting hints drop since he discovered comics, but I didn't think he was old enough yet with just me. I only went to certain things and I didn't want to endanger us."
"Oh, I see now that you have your white knight," Emma snickered as she made a show of showing off her arm muscles and strutting around.
"I was just going to say that now time is moving, it's easier for me to keep up with things outside of storybrooke. It's not such a bubble I retreat into with no news," Regina told her. Watching Emma pout was one of the cutest things about her. She couldn't help but smile at her.
"Oh, come on tell me I'm your white knight." Regina shook her head and Emma tickled her and she laughed and scold her for nearly making her drop the meatball.
"What are you making anyway?" Emma asked.
"Meatball subs, Henry mentioned…." Regina was interrupted with a kiss.
"You are like the best fiancé ever!" Emma exclaimed. "I was just telling Henry about that and how I hadn't had a good one in a while, the kid is going to be so excited. Oh, you know what I gotta go meet him at the bus stop." Emma hurried out. Regina chuckled as the front door was open so she could hear Emma calling to Henry who was just getting home.
"KID your mom's making meatball subs!"
"What!" Henry yelled back. Soon Henry was running in out of breath to see the last meatball being formed.
"Oh, mom you're the best," he cried. Regina chuckled as he hugged her careful of her hands and gave her a kiss.
"Hen, hen!" Darien yelled as she trotted really to find him.
"Demi!" He called back just as excited. He went to meet her, and she lifted her arms to give him a big hug.
"Seriously I will never get tired of that," Emma sighed watching them. "You know what we need?"
"More cameras to capture moments like these?" Regina asked putting down her phone.
"Yes, that, but I'm thinking the girls need a little brother."
"I'm sure I can turn Lincoln into a boy if you like," Regina told her. Emma glared at her.
"Regina," Emma said.
"What I'm just putting it out there, we don't even have to change her name." Emma poked her.
"Real funny," Emma told her. "And you don't have to get pregnant not even sure we can get a boy although if for whatever reason you want to experiment one day. But my point is you said I should talk to you later about adoption."
"I gave you Henry," Regina said purposely. Emma glared at her.
"Oh, come on just think about it, it doesn't have to be now, but I did want to adopt, and that thought hasn't gone away, I just simply want you to mentally prepare and think about it and let me know when the time is right."
"So, I dictate the time line?" Regina asked.
"Four years, please, I want the girls to still be young and Henry not off to college."
"Oh God my heart, Henry, college, no I can't handle it. I only just brought him home yesterday," Regina told her.
"I know, I know we blinked and even Demi is growing up on us, was it really a year ago we were both huddled in the bath not knowing what was going on." Regina nodded sadly. "But seriously I just want you to give it some serious thought for me. We have a loving family and if I can just give that to one kid like me I would feel like a true savior." Regina nodded.
"I see this is very important for you, so I will give you a serious answer by the time the girls are two." Emma smiled big and gave her a kiss before she went to tell Henry to get his homework done. Regina started on her sauce for the meatballs.
"So, what was this about adopting earlier?" Ruby asked at dinner as she bit into her sub.
"What?" Henry asked putting down his fork and knife. Regina sighed as she looked up from nursing Lincoln. Thankfully Xaviére was already taking a bottle from Emma.
"Nothing," Emma told him.
"No, not nothing, I know Ruby has super hearing you were talking about it," Henry said. Ruby looked guiltily at them.
"Look kid, we're not adopting any time soon, it was just a conversation that is all," Emma told him looking a bit uncomfortable this is not how she wanted to broach the subject with Henry.
"No, you adopted me already, why would you want to adopt a kid when you gave me up to begin with?" Henry asked glaring at her. "I thought we settled this when mom got pregnant again."
"No kid, look, it's a little bit important to me that we consider adopting one day, because there are so many kids out there that are like me and get left behind a lot, and I don't want them too anymore," Emma told him
"Oh, so you're tell me if you weren't here you would have adopted some other kid after giving me away?"
"Henry, you know that's not what Emma is saying," Regina told him.
"No, kid I had to trust that you got your best chance, and you did, and if I found you later still in foster care, I would have fought to get you back," Emma told him.
"Yeah, I'm sure after I'd been sent back five times or more," He grumbled. "I'm not needy enough for you."
"Henry, you're not needy at all, you got blessed kid and that is all I ever wanted for you. To be honest even though I feel a certain way, I might not have ever gone through with it if I didn't have this family. This family means everything to me and is it so wrong, I want us to share it with someone who didn't get lucky like you kid. You who are doubly lucky to not only have the best mother I could have hoped for to adopt you, but to have found me and to have me back in your life?"
"Yeah I thought I was lucky until I realized I'm not enough and neither are my sisters." He stomped out of the dining room without finishing his food.
"Henry," Regina called after him. Emma was just all tears as Xaviére look confused of why Emma wasn't holding her bottle properly and crying. Darien also looked confused from her high chair between them. She looked at Emma and then to the door and then to Regina.
"Just finish your dinner love," Regina told her as she lifted up Lincoln. Ruby quickly wiped her hands and took Lincoln to burp.
"I'm so sorry I didn't know it was a big secret or that he would even react that way," Ruby told them.
"It's not your fault Ruby, you were just asking questions," Emma told her. Regina took back Xaviére and gave her, her bottle. "I need to go for a walk sorry." Emma hurried out and Darien gave a cry of protest that she wasn't kissed.
"Emma," Regina called after her as she hurried after her, but she was already driving off and not the bug, because the bug would mean she felt like running. Well Regina supposed, she might upgrade her car, but then again, she'd been miserable in the bug it was how they ran.
"Do you want to go after her?" Ruby asked.
"Yes, but in a bit, I'm going to give her some time, can you watch the girls while I talk to Henry. Ruby nodded as she started to take Xaviére, but she cried.
"It's okay, she's not going anywhere she's feeling clingy tonight." Ruby nodded. Xaviére often had days where she would not be taken from either of her mothers by anyone else. Lincoln reached for them as well and a burst of magic between them and Xaviére had doubled in weight in Regina's arms. She sighed.
"It would be nicer if you two didn't double in weight temporarily, my arms are going to fall off," Regina teased them.
"No matter how often they do that, it's creepy, it's like Xav is just eating the other."
"I keep hoping it will get easier," Regina sighed as she headed up the stairs to speak with Henry. She shifted the girls to her hip and knocked on Henry's door.
"Go away Emma," He said venomously.
"Henry, you know you aren't allowed to talk to your mother like that," Regina said as she opened the door. He was pouting on his bed but looked a little surprise Emma wasn't at his door.
"Where is she, thought I'd be beating her away with a stick," Henry grumbled.
"No dear you already did that; your mother drove off to I don't know where because you hurt her feelings."
"She hurt me," Henry said back.
"Not intentionally," Regina pointed out as she sat on the bed and adjust the girls to her lap. "I want you to listen to me now."
"But…"
"No, speaking just listen." Henry shut his mouth and nodded. "Emma gave you, your best chance at life, at the time that was not with her and she was smart enough to realize that. And by giving you your best chance, she gave me the greatest gift. I told you before what happen to Imogene and eventually Xavier. I never thought I would be anyone's mother again, but because she let you go, I was able to find you. I was able to be the mother I wanted to bed for the most part. And then you found Emma, and I was upset but honestly you helped bring together a family neither of us thought was possible. By doing that you helped in part to Emma finding a level of peace and security in a family she never dreamed she would have. So while I still have a lot of thinking to do if adoption is something I think I can take on in a few years, I do realize that if Emma didn't have me, you, Demi, Xav, and Lin, she would never allow herself to adopt a child in need."
"But she let me go," Henry said.
"She did, but she had too for everyone's sake, we're all better off for it. But you do not mean any less to her, even if you two had never met, you would always be in her heart. If I can love you the same as always after having three biological babies, don't you think there's enough love in Emma's heart to love a kid that's adopted after four biological babies?"
"It doesn't work in reverse," Henry argued, but it was a weak argument.
"I don't think you believe that, have I for one second let you believe that I didn't love you because you weren't biologically mine?" Henry started to speak. "Those years don't count just because you thought you had me all figured out when you didn't." Henry huffed.
"No, I guess not." Regina nodded.
"Good, then stop all this pouting, I made a really nice dinner and I want you downstairs enjoying it." They hugged for a little while until Xaviére and Lincoln protested together.
"Who knew twins could be such jerks, every time no matter if I hug you, ma, or Demi." Regina chuckled.
"They just need more hugs from you," She smiled. All three of them headed back downstairs. Regina took the girls to the bathroom, since they were one baby thankfully Lincoln had them go like old pros. She got them to sleep with a song that should buy her an hour if she were lucky to get Emma back without too much fuss.
"I'll be back soon," Regina told them.
"Mami," Darien said from her place on the floor now with a book.
"I know mi Amor, we'll read when I get back." She gave her a kiss before she disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke. She appeared in the passenger seat of Emma's car. Just as she suspected she was sitting at the docks crying her eyes out. Regina stepped out of the car and joined Emma on the bench.
"How did you know I was here?" Emma sniffed. Regina shrugged.
"A feeling I guess that you would head for the docks. You like to sit by water," Regina replied.
"I almost wish you didn't know me so well," Emma told her as her sobs renewed and Regina just put her arms around her as she rubbed her back. She just let her cry it out until Emma finally began to just calm down a bit. After Emma had managed to stop even her sniffles she spoke.
"I spoke with Henry," Regina told her.
"Let me guess, I shouldn't bother coming home," Emma sniffed.
"Emma never, you always come home do you hear me?" Regina asked her lifting Emma's chin, so she was looking her in the eyes. "Your family needs you, wants you, loves you and no one else can replace you." Emma sniffled a bit and hugged her tight.
'Seriously what did I do to deserve this woman,' Emma thought.
"I can't promise he's not feeling some type of way about this, but I think he at least is beginning to understand now just how special our family is to us. I've done too good a job of giving him his best chance, I think. While I'm actually pretty sure he's still a loner at school for the most part, he's never going to suffer like you and I. Even when we were fighting sometimes, he says something, and I knew he knew he could always come home and that I've never actually done anything bad to him. He doesn't know what it's like to not be loved unconditionally or to be treated like absolute shit just because someone has the power too. To just be thrown away like yesterday's trash without a care. And so, he can't separate being given back after adoption and being given up in the first place out of love."
"Will he ever know how grateful I am that you got him?" Emma asked. "Will he ever realize that I only let him go when the agency told me they had a family. Although that turned out to be a lie." Regina looked hurt. "No, no when I say family in this instance, I mean they told me he had a mom and a dad who couldn't wait to meet him. Not that he would just go to a mom."
"Oh," Regina said. "That adoption fell through, I remember now I commented that I hadn't expected to get a baby so fast. They had him three weeks, and then he came to me."
"What?" Emma asked sitting up. "Did they say why?" Regina shook her head.
"Not to me anyway, I mean some people aren't cut out for parenthood like they think."
"Well thank God he got you, you would have never given him back." Regina bit her lip guiltily as she remembered her momentary lapse into doubt and despair. Emma looked at her when the agreement didn't come right away.
"Regina, what the fuck?" Emma asked. "You need to explain that look on your face right now." Regina sighed.
"I took him back," Regina told her. The pain on Emma's face was almost too much for her to bare. "Please just hear me out before you walk away." Emma moved away from her and crossed her arms. Regina nodded to say she understood Emma's distance.
"Please do explain seeing as you knew very well what work a baby entailed."
"I did, you're right, but the worst of Xavier's tantrums were handled by a nanny. I got to do all the fun bits mostly. When he was colicky, I didn't stay up all night she did. But with Henry everything was different, I didn't even think of getting a nanny, because I had decided that I wanted all the good and the bad moments that I would never have with Imogene and Xavier ever again. It was a different world. Anyway, the day I got Henry my heart just knew he was perfect and he was mine. I fell for him in an instant, I did truly. I always say he was my love at first sight."
"You took him back though," Emma reminded her. Regina nodded.
"Like you I couldn't fathom why anyone would give him up, I just wrote you off as being some drug addict and his first adoptive parents as idiots. I took him home and the first night was great, but then all hell broke loose. He cried so much, and I became painfully aware of the fact that I didn't know what I was doing or how it all go so wrong. I thought he was sick, nothing I did worked. I took him to the doctor and at some point, I made Sidney unseal his adoption records so I could find out if maybe there was something genetic with you that would cause this."
"You knew I was the savior?" Emma asked.
"Hard to miss the part about being abandoned on the roadside near my nonexistent town."
"You hated him for it, then didn't you?" Regina shook her head.
"No, I loved him, and it devastated me, frightened me even. The thing was Henry and I hit a turning point he got used to my voice, wanted to hear my voice and be held by me. It occurred to me later that maybe he was missing that first woman and it takes a while for a baby to adjust not to mention I think he literally had colic. And in that same moment I found about you. All I saw was me losing him and my heart couldn't take that. I agonized over it for days and then I took him back to Boston as I doubted how the evil queen could be a mother, how the savior was going to take my son. How the mother that loved Xavier she was dead."
"She's not dead," Emma muttered as her shoulders relaxed a little. Of course, she had been the cause of Regina nearly sending back her son. "But you didn't go through with it or what?" Regina shook her head.
"I got all the way to the office, I was literally about to pass him on to his new family and the social worker was giving me a minute to say goodbye. So, I picked him up and he looked at me and I looked back at him. And I don't know my heart just broke, and I realized he trusted me, he loved me, he believed I could be a good mother again, that, that mother wasn't dead. I could be a better mother even by not handing him to the nanny. Then the social worker came back and he wanted me to sign him away."
"You didn't though."
"Nope, I told him there had been a change of plans, Henry was my son and he deserved a mother who would never give him up and that the best thing for him was to stay with me. So I picked up his schedule that I had meticulously in detail written out as well as nap times, I told you I switched to goat's milk. Seriously if I had known the area he'd live in I would have included a list of local suppliers. I picked up his diaper bag and my purse got him back into his car seat and left without another word."
"How did you get over the home visits?" Emma asked.
"Curse I guess," Regina shrugged. "It was never a requirement."
"Does he know?" Emma asked.
"That I almost gave him up?" Regina asked. "Yes, after he found out he was adopted, I wanted him to understand that I loved him and that he didn't have to feel abandoned by you. I only succeeded at making him feel not abandoned by you in the end though it seems. But he hadn't found that stupid book yet, and we can joke about his return policy having expired, because he's stuck with me and I'm stuck with him and that's the way we both liked it." Emma let out a breath.
"I want to be so angry with you right now, but what you did, you did what I wished a thousand times over that every good family that thought they would keep me would have done for me. Looked at me and seen that I needed a mother who would never give me up."
"I'm sorry I took that from you. Snow is going a little bit crazy right now, but she would have never given you up if things were perfect and normal," Regina told her.
"No, don't be sorry, no regrets right, we don't regret Henry. I just can't," Emma told her. "Besides no curse and you and I would have lived separate miserable lives without any of our children. This had to be so that I could be old enough and you could be young enough for us to be together. Without some serious questionability about our mental states." Regina chuckled.
"No regrets," Regina agreed.
"Also it was her decision to put me in the wardrobe and dad's, they have to live with that choice instead of just keep me with them. And past that it's |Blue's fought neither of them could come with me. If she hadn't lied my mother would have gone with me and then I wouldn't have been abandoned or maybe dad could have slipped in at the last minute I don't know. Instead there was August and he left me. I just imagine how my life could have gone right with just little things like a lie not being told or a little boy honoring our parents memory by staying in my life."
"Life leaves us with a lot of what ifs, but I think you and I we're at a place where those what ifs don't matter anymore, the kind of what ifs that matter now are what if we go home right now and read to our daughter. What if that reading time leads to a major bonding moment, what if that bonding moment leaves our daughter feeling so happy, she will always get that happy feeling when she thinks of reading with us."
"And what if after the girls are in bed we watch a movie with Henry and we snuggle up together like old times and then every time he thinks movie nights with us, he gets warm fuzzy feelings."
"I like and what if Emma finishes her dinner and then cleans the kitchen before all that, what if her fiancé makes brownies for her efforts."
"What if Emma's already half way to the car and waiting for you?" Emma asked with a laugh as she hurried up from the bench.
"What if I already beat you to the car," Regina said using her magic to pop just ahead of Emma.
"Pff, what if I'm in the car." Emma jumped in but Regina was already next to her.
"What if you gotta do better than that if you want to beat my magic," Regina grinned.
"What if I love the most beautiful Queen in all the realms?" Emma asked.
"What if that Queen loves you back?" Regina asked her as they moved closer.
"What if because I love my Queen and she loves me whenever we kiss, we'll feel that love."
"Hmm…sounds like a what if we have to stop questioning and start doing," Regina whispered as they were inches apart. They kissed slowly and gently savoring each moment of the kiss. Regina and Emma weren't surprised when they got true love vibes radiating off them. Although they ended up getting three pings back from their house making them laugh.
"Damn true love babies are like sonar, I guess now we know if we ever need to find them…."
"Emma don't you dare ruin this moment wi…." Regina started.
"We will always find them," Emma laughed. She laughed so hard she snorted. Regina glared at her.
"See you at home," Regina told her with a groan before she left in a puff of smoke.
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