Chapter 51: The Island of
(cut to Chi-Chi, Goku, Gohan, and Piccolo outside Goku's house)
CHI-CHI: All right, I packed you all some lunches for your field trip.
"Huh? Seems like we're not getting another training arc," Levy mused.
"Good, then we can get right to the action!" Gajeel's feral grin appears.
GOKU: We're going to Urgay!
Erza face palmed.
GOHAN: Uruguay.
"Thank you, Gohan," Erza sighed.
CHI-CHI: Make sure you're safe now, okay?
GOKU: Well, I don't know how safe we can be... We're gonna be fighting androids.
"Why is he the one talking and not Piccolo?" Kagura asked.
"Because, she's his wife," Erza answered.
CHI-CHI: Uh, wha-?
GOKU: But make sure you don't tell Chi-Chi- (stops and realizes who he's talking to)
"Natsu's done this with Erza," Gray sighed.
"Have not!" Natsu countered.
"Nobody believed him of course.
GOHAN: Three years, Dad. Three years you almost had it.
"That's right, it has been three years. Gohan must be nine now," Mira said.
(short pause)
GOKU: (quickly) I'm taking Gohan, bye! (vanishes with Gohan and Piccolo)
(cut to Goku, Gohan, and Piccolo flying in the sky with Chi-Chi screaming with fury behind them)
The guild erupts in laughter from Chi-Chi's screaming.
[OPENING SEQUENCE]
(cut to Goku, Piccolo, and Gohan flying towards the island where the androids are expected to appear)
PICCOLO: So what do you think? How ready are we to take on these androids?
"Hopefully a 10," Wendy prays.
GOKU: On a scale of one to ten? My chest hurts…
Erza's ear twitched.
PICCOLO: Huh?
GOKU: Uh, seven or eight
"Not very reassuring," Evergreen said.
"But, it's a realistic take from Goku," Laxus responded.
GOHAN: (notices Krillin flying in front of them) Hey look, it's Krillin! Hey, Krillin!
"You'd think he would've grown some hair in three years," Evergreen said.
"I think he just prefers being bald," Lisanna guessed.
KRILLIN: Oh. Hey, Gohan! You've barely grown since the last time I saw ya, huh?
GOKU: It's funny. I think that every time I see you.
Ripples of laughter erupted in the guild once more at Goku's burn.
KRILLIN: Ha-ha... (looks down and sighs)
"The life of short people," Makarov understood Krillin's plight.
GOHAN: (notices an island up ahead) Hey, that must be the island!
(cut the the group floating above the island)
KRILLIN: Holy crap! This city is huge!
"How are they supposed to find the androids?" Romeo asked.
"I'm sure they'll be able to sense their energy," Levy answered.
GOHAN: And this island's so tiny... What do these people do here?
KRILLIN: Apparently, prostitution is legal.
"I...ok," Kagura decides to not argue.
EVERYONE: Ohh...
PICCOLO: So, the prostitutes…
"Why would you of all people care?" Mira asked, confused.
YAMCHA: (on a cliff with Tien) Hey, guys! Down here!
(everyone lands near Yamcha and Tien)
Tien looks about the same, but Yamcha got a haircut at least. So, there's some differences," Wakaba observed.
KRILLIN: Hey Yamcha! Tenshinhan! Bulma! Bulma's ba-ba-ba... (camera pans up showing Bulma holding a baby) Bulma has a baby?
"BABY TRUNKS!"
"HE'S SO CUTE!"
BULMA: Ya damn right!
YAMCHA: Yeah... and you won't believe who the father is.
"Vegeta," All of the adults answered.
KRILLIN: Vegeta.
GOHAN: Vegeta.
PICCOLO: Vegeta.
GOKU: Vegeta.
YAMCHA: Well, it could have been mine!
"I'd believe it if Vegeta didn't exist. Speaking of which, where is Vegeta?" Levy asked.
BULMA: It's Vegeta.
"That just confirmed it," Canna smirked.
YAMCHA: (disappointed) I'm just gonna walk over here... (starts walking away)
"At least you didn't kill yourself. So, there's some positives for you," Wendy smiled, nervously.
BULMA: He's my baby boy! His name is Trunks.
"And he's adorable!" Levy gushed. She looked down at her stomach, wondering if her baby would be a boy or a girl.
GOKU: *laughs* That's a girl's name! (baby Trunks shyly hides his face)
"No...that doesn't sound like a girl's name," Lucy sweatdropped.
PICCOLO: So, then... where's daddy?
BULMA: Unfortunately, our last conversation was...
(flashback to Bulma and Vegeta's last conversation showing an outside shot of Capsule Corporation)
BULMA: (from inside the house) You are such an unbelievable asshole!
"And it's already starting off perfect," Gajeel said, sarcastically.
VEGETA: (from inside the house) You know, you're being bitchier than usual today; and not in a hot way.
BULMA: You got me pregnant, you idiot!
"That's how sex works," Canna jokes.
VEGETA: How is that my fault?
BULMA: You said you were wearing protection!
VEGETA: I was wearing my armor!
"Gotta remember he's an alien, but still there has to be some space condom out there," Meredy said.
Juvia sighed at the lovers' quarrel on the screen. "I know my darling Gray would use protection!"
"HUH!?"
BULMA: *sighs* You're a moron.
VEGETA: (glass shattering is heard from inside) Well, what do you expect me to do about it?
BULMA: What you're going to do is go out, get a job, and help me raise our child!
(brief pause and then shows a Capsule Corporation spaceship blasting off into space)
Those that are still getting used to Vegeta's personality couldn't believe that he up and abandoned Bulma and Trunks. Those who are used to Vegeta's personality expected him to be an ass about it. Not just abandon Bulma and Trunks.
(back to present)
BULMA: That was a year and a half ago. So, you know, you tell me.
"I'll be better," Gajeel thought as took a look at Levy.
KRILLIN: Well, on the plus side, your boobs look amazing!
"That is a plus side!" Macao and Wakaba agreed wholeheartedly.
"Don't my boobs look amazing, Gray!?" Juvia asked, frantically.
"Don't ask questions like that!" Gray yelled at her.
BULMA: I... you... Ugh. (thinking) Just take the compliment.
"I always take the compliment," Canna downed another bottle of beer.
TIEN: If you guys are done acting out your favorite chick flick, we've got incoming.
(shows Yajirobe arriving at the cliff in a hovercar, with the song "Cat Loves Food" being heard)
YAMCHA: (thinking) Oh, God, not my song…
"You have a song!?" Gajeel started laughing.
"It's honestly not that bad of a song," Millianna said.
"Maybe for the first three times you hear it. Then, afterwards it just gets annoying," Carla told the Cat obsessed female.
(Yajirobe lands in front the group and jumps out of his hover car)
GOKU: Oh, wow! Yajirobe! I can't believe it! You came all this way to help us fight the-
"That fatass isn't gonna help fight," Bickslow mocked.
YAJIROBE: Yeah, no. Korin sent me. Take your beans. (hands Goku a bag of Senzu Beans) Bean Daddy out.
"Thank you, Bean Daddy!" Happy yelled, much to the disgust of the other Exceeds(Not Frosch) next to him.
GOKU: Bean Daddy?
"Kourin's nickname for him," Freed explained, though Goku couldn't hear him of course.
YAJIROBE: It's what I call my burrito shop. Or at least I would... if Korin would let me have one! (flies off in his hover car, with the same song playing as he leaves the group)
KRILLIN: So, that song...
YAMCHA: I was desperate and needed the money- and no, it wasn't worth it.
"I'm proud that you regret the decision," Gajeel nods his head.
GOKU: (after an awkward pause) Cat Loves Food, Y-Yeah, Yeah, Yeah... (Yajirobe's hover car suddenly gets shot down from the sky, with a screaming Yajirobe falling into the water) Oh hey, we've never wished him back before…
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!?"
PICCOLO: Look! In the sky!
GOKU: Is it a bird?
"No you dumbass!" Lucy yelled.
"It's the androids!" Wendy pointed at the scream.
"But, how come nobody saw them coming!? If they're strong enough to kill everyone then shouldn't their power levels be really high!?" Sting asked, worried.
PICCOLO: It's the androids!
GOKU: My second guess was plane…
"My second guess was Gray," Natsu mumbled. Lucy smacked him on the back of the head.
"Now's not the time idiot!"
(the androids fly down into the city)
TIEN: Damn! They flew into the city.
YAMCHA: I can't sense their energy!
"WHAT!?"
"But, that should be impossible...unless…" Levy trailed off.
GOKU: Neither can I...! And that's my specialty!
GOHAN: It must be because they're androids- we only know how to sense life energy!
"But, even machines infused with magic are still able to be sensed. So, how come androids with ki are different?" Bickslow asked.(I am bullshitting this)
"You can implant actual magic into machines. However, that mad scientist must've figured out a way to mimic ki and mask it's presence," Freed explained.
"Making fighting these androids even more difficult to fight," Laxus growled.
PICCOLO: Then we'll have to hunt them down the old-fashioned way... Search the city!
YAMCHA: (whining over Krillin) What?! Oh, come on, really?! Do we have to?! I mean, I just wanna go home!
KRILLIN: (whining over Yamcha) Oh, I don't wanna go in the city!
"Stop being pussies and fight!" Canna yelled at the two.
GOKU: All right gang, split up and search for clues. Gohan, go grab Yajirobe.
"Yes! Stay as far from the carnage as possible, Gohan," Mira agreed.
"And go save, Yajirobe...right, sis?" Lisanna eyed her elder sister.
"Yeah yeah, that too," Mira waved off.
GOKU: Bulma, hold the Senzu Beans- they'll only weigh us down. (throws the bag of Senzu Beans at Bulma)
"That sounds like a horrible idea. Why is he the leader?" Rogue questioned, incredulously.
BULMA: Hold on, what?
GOKU: Break! (everyone flies off into the city)
"Well, we're off to a great start!" Sting huffed, sarcastically.
"Let's just hope that things get better," Yukino tries to calm him down.
(cut to inside the city where two mysterious figures, presumably the two Androids, landing on the ground and start walking away before shifting to Goku landing on top of a building)
GOKU: (thinking) All right now, if I were an android, where would I be? Well, I guess I'd be right here, because being an android wouldn't really change where I am, just what I am.. If you think about it…
"Stop thinking. It will not help you," Evergreen comments.
(cut to another part of the city where a stoner is seen riding a hoverboard and falls off as Krillin lands in front of him)
KRILLIN: All right, time to find me some androids! (to the stoner) Hey you, have you seen any androids?
"I don't think he'd know," Lucy sweatdropped.
STONER: I don't know. Are you an android?
"I don't think I am. OH! It would be really cool to be a cat-droid!" Millianna meows cutely.
KRILLIN: No...
STONER: Then, no. But I did see a flying dude- landed right in front of me, man! Looked a lot like you... (short pause) You holdin'?
(cut to another part of the city with two guys talking)
TOM: Hey, Jerry. You see that car explode?
JERRY: Yeah. I'll bet you it was a terrorist attack.
"Then don't go near it," Erza avised.
TOM: Jerry, you always think it's terrorism; you think your house gettin' TP'd is terrorism!
JERRY: You're what's wrong with this country. What do you think, inconspicuous old man and mime? (referring to the two Red Ribbon Androids nearby, with the white one walking up to him)
The mages take in the look of both androids. Definitely not what any of them expected.
"Aw man! They look so lame!" Natsu whined.
"Looks can be deceiving, Natsu. Remember in a different future these two kill everyone," Erza told the pink dragon slayer.
JERRY: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Marcel Marceau! If that's what you're lookin' for... it's gonna be thirty dollars an hour. Fifty if you want it weird.
"T-that's...definitely not what it wants," Kagura blushed.
(The white Android headbutts Jerry and punches Tom in the face, sending him crashing into a building. The old Android looks on before an angry driver blows his horn from inside his car.)
"HOLY SHIT!"
"0 to 100 real quick!" Romeo shouted.
ANGRY DRIVER: Hey you old jackass, get out of the road! You wanna beat up prostitutes do it on your own damn time!
"RUN YOU IDIOT!"
(the old Android walks up and rips the engine from inside the car)
ANGRY DRIVER: Please put that back... I kind of need that to flee from you…
"You should've ran beforehand!" Gildarts shouted.
(The old Android walks up and lifts the angry driver through the roof of his car and starts to choke him. A woman nearby sees this and starts screaming.)
"Oh man, things are really looking bad," Gray said.
(cut to Yamcha, who hears the scream)
"And it's about to get even worse," Freed grimaced.
YAMCHA: (thinking) Huh? Oh, man... that was close. Surely someone else heard it, right? I mean, I don't have to- (woman screams again)
"It's time to clutch up, buddy," Wakaba frowned.
YAMCHA: Ah, this isn't fair! (runs off and arrives at the scene and notices Tom and Jerry's bodies on the ground) Huh? Oh, God, oh man, oh jeez, oh crap…
(unknown by Yamcha, the two Androids are watching him from above)
ANDROID 20: 19, identify.
ANDROID 19: Orange jumpsuit, black spiky hair, higher than average power level. Son Goku: 94%.
"Why is the percentage so high?" Levy asked.
ANDROID 20: I don't remember him having a scar...
ANDROID 19: (re-configures) 87%.
"That's good enough," Levy shrugged.
ANDROID 20: Close enough.
(back to Yamcha)
YAMCHA: I am totally in over my head here... Maybe... maybe I should call for help…
"Yes! That way you have a better chance at winning!" Kagura agreed.
YAMCHA: No, no, no, that's exactly what they'd expect…
"Now is not the time for dignity or pride!" Kagura yelled.
YAMCHA: (looks towards the androids standing right next to him) Isn't that right, inconspicuous old man and- (Android 20 grabs him by the face and picks him up in the air)
"This is not good at all!" Lector panicked.
"Frosch is scared!" The little exceed hugged Rogue tightly.
(a large truck appears driving towards the three of them, also blasting Yamcha's "Cat Loves Food" song)
"If that isn't an insult to injury…" Rogue groaned.
YAMCHA: (muffled) Oh, come on!
TRUCK DRIVER: Huh? Jesus Chriiiiii-
(the truck driver swerves to avoid the three of them and crashes into a gas station, making a humongous explosion)
"WHY DID EVERYTHING GO BAD SO FAST!?"
(cut to Goku)
GOKU: (still debating on the topic Androids vs. Humans—or rather, Saiyans—in his thoughts) I mean, really, an android is just a human with wires instead of veins and oil instead of blood... I wonder if they dream of electric sheep?
"He's actually gotten this far with a thought and that terrifies me," Evergreen shivered.
GOKU: Mm, techno lamb. (out loud) Huh? (notices an explosion)
TIEN: (sees the explosion) Whoa.
KRILLIN: (also witnesses the explosion) Whoo-hoo! Not me!
"It really was a debate of which of the two got screwed over first, huh?" Lily sweatdropped.
(cut back to Yamcha, who is still in Android 20's grasp)
ANDROID 20: Now Son Goku, I shall extract my long-awaited revenge forthwith!
"Again, you have the wrong guy," Kagura said.
YAMCHA: (muffled) I'm not Goku...! I am Yam...
ANDROID 20: Forthwith! (jabs his hand straight through Yamcha's chest)
"YAMCHA!"
YAMCHA: (muffled in pain) ...cha...!
(Tien flies down and arrives at the scene)
TIEN: (sees the hole in Yamcha's chest) Oh, come on! Really, man? You couldn't last, like, thirty seconds?
"To be fair, he had no idea it was them," Levy said.
(Piccolo, Krillin, and Goku all arrive at the scene)
ANDROID 20: Ah, we have company...
ANDROID 19: Correction: new target identified as Son Goku. 100% match.
"This time you're correct...wish it didn't cost Yamcha's life," Wendy's eyes lowered.
ANDROID 20: Well, then, looks like I don't need this anymore. (throws Yamcha on the ground)
GOKU: *gasps* Oh no! Yamcha's been Yamcha'd! Quick, Krillin, give him a Senzu!
"Goku," Erza facepalmed.
PICCOLO: Goku.
GOKU: Oh, right. Quick, Krillin, take him to Bulma!
KRILLIN: Ha! Looks like there's two kinds of fisting in this city now!
"Not the time for terrible jokes!" Carla huffed.
(shows Yamcha's nearly-dead face)
PICCOLO: Pretty sure he's bleeding out…
"He's still alive!?" Meredy shouted in shock.
KRILLIN: All right, fine. (flies away carrying Yamcha) Bulma'll get it...
GOKU: Man... seeing that hole in his chest kinda makes my chest hurt... like, a lot. Anybody else?
Erza's ear twitched again.
PICCOLO: So, then. You two must be the Androids.
ANDROID 20: What? Impossible! How did you know we were Androids?!
ANDROID 19: Scanning probabilities... Scanning... Scanning... Analyzing... Processing…
"You couldn't make it anymore obvious if you tried," Gajeel sweatdropped.
PICCOLO: Could not tell you off the top of my head.
ANDROID 19: Processing complete. They are psychic. 92.4% (in a Kanassan accent) They can see the future!
"Woah! That's a callback! Actually...wait how do they even know that?" Levy questioned.
ANDROID 20: Psychic, eh? Well, then, bet you won't expect this! (begins rapidly firing eye beams in every direction, reducing the city to a fiery ruin)
GOKU/Natsu: Stop it!
ANDROID 20: Never!
(Goku rushes forward and punches Android 20 in the face, causing the latter to drop his hat. Android 20 proceeds to lean down to pick up his hat and puts his hat back on.)
"His brain is in a jar!" Happy pointed out.
"Pretty disgusting," Yukino blanched.
ANDROID 20: Ah, I see you have discovered that the off switch to my Ocular Vapo-Beams is in my cheek.
"Sounds like a design flaw," Lisanna sweatdropped.
ANDROID 20: But you are too late! The entire population of the city has been reduced to ash! Now no one shall interfere with my revenge!
"What would those random people have done anyway!?" Erza growled.
(shows a shot of Yajirobe, Krillin, a restored Yamcha, Gohan, and Bulma holding baby Trunks watching the destruction of the city from the cliff)
"Well...they can interfere and it's good to see that Yamcha's ok," Lucy said.
GOKU: Actually, I'm pretty sure you only-
PICCOLO: (interrupting) Yes! The entire population!
"Thank you for stopping that idiot," Kagura said.
GOKU: Oh, right. You are most unkind!
TIEN: We really should move this, though. Hey, Piccolo, know any good wastelands around here?
PICCOLO: Why are you asking me?
"You live in wastelands," Mira rolled her eyes.
TIEN: You know why.
PICCOLO: *sighs* Northwest, about 100 miles. It's actually kind of nice.
GOKU: Then it's a date!
"A date to the death!" Natsu grinned.
PICCOLO: I could think of worse places. Nice rock formations, neat cacti... (Goku and the androids fly off) Oh, fine! (flies off after them with Tien)
"Nobody cares for your preferences," Mira said.
(cut to Yajirobe, Krillin, Yamcha, Gohan, and Bulma on the cliff watching Goku and co. taking the androids out of the city)
KRILLIN: Hey, look! Goku and the others are leaving with the androids!
YAMCHA: Oh, no! We have to warn them! When the old man was holding me, I could feel my life force draining!
"He did stab you through the chest," Rogue said.
KRILLIN: You were losing a lot of blood.
YAMCHA: No, it was coming out of my mouth!
"Spitting out blood tends to do that," Sting responded.
KRILLIN: Gross...
YAMCHA: I'm telling you, they can absorb energy!
"WHAT!?"
"So, they can not only keep their energy undetectable, but can absorb energy as well?" Freed noted.
"Makes them the perfect counters to the Z-Fighters," Jellal said.
GOHAN: Then we have to go now! (flies off with Krillin following suit)
YAMCHA: You know... might just sit this one out.
"Best choice," Gajeel shrugged.
KRILLIN: Oh yeah, I getcha. I never have any energy after I get a handjob either. BA-DA-BA-BA-DA-BYE! (flies off after Gohan)
"But, who gave you the handjob...unless you count Frieza running you through with his horns," Canna shook her head.
BULMA: Well fine, If you're not going anywhere, I need help with the baby. How are you at diapers?
YAMCHA: Hold on, Krillin, I'm coming! (flies off after Krillin)
"The words that make any man run away," Levy snickered.
KRILLIN: Ha ha!
BULMA: So, how you feelin'?
YAJIROBE: My car got blown up. Well, to be more specific, it was Korin's car. Pussy Wagon ain't no more.
"With that name...it may have been for the best," Macao sweatdropped.
BULMA: Well, then, are you gonna fly after them?
YAJIROBE: No.
BULMA: Is it because you're fat?
YAJIROBE: Yeah.
"He's honest about it," Laxus shrugged.
(cut to the androids and Piccolo, Tien, and Goku landing at a wasteland area)
PICCOLO: All right, now that we're away from the city, we can-
GOKU: (while breathing heavily) Heh... Does it feel hot out here to you guys? 'Cause it's hot...!
"You're in a desert area, so I guess that's understandable," Lisanna said.
"Something feels off and annoyingly stupid," Erza's ear twtiched again.
PICCOLO: As I was saying... we can finally get this underway. But first, who are you? And what do you want?
ANDROID 20: You don't need to know why, just know that I despise every one of you. Especially him. (looks at Goku)
"But, why?" Levy asked.
GOKU: (still breathing heavily) Hey, does anyone have any bacon? I sort of ate all of my pocket bacon on the way here…
"Bacon killed you in the future! Stop eating it!" Lucy yelled.
ANDROID 20: But allow me to shed a little light for you... (shows a flashback of an insectoid nanoborg surveying Goku's battle against Tien) For the last 14 years, ever since the 22nd World Martial Arts Tournament...
GOKU: Oh, I remember that one! I got hit by a car!
"What?"
ANDROID 20: Indeed. Since then, my insectoid nanoborg has been surveying and processing every battle you have fought, rating them on a scale of one to ten.
"So, you're a stalker?" Evergreen grimaced.
TIEN: Out of curiosity, how was ours?
ANDROID 19: (scans) Average - 6.5 out of 10.
"Damn," Gray winced.
TIEN: That's fair, I guess…
PICCOLO: How 'bout mine?
ANDROID 19: (scans) 8 out of 10.
"Too high," Mira whined.
PICCOLO: Ha ha!
ANDROID 20: I have utilized this information to calibrate ourselves appropriately. We are now powerful enough to kill Son Goku, and take revenge for what he did to myself and the Red Ribbon Army!
"Very petty revenge that ends up destroying the world," Makarov glares.
PICCOLO: Wow, so you even followed him all the way to Namek, huh?
ANDROID 20: Of course I did! 19, what is Namek?
"Oh...well this changes everything!" Levy smiles.
ANDROID 19: (scans) Data not found.
"Then that means they don't know about Super Saiyan!" Sting grinned.
ANDROID 20: What do you mean "data not found"?!
ANDROID 19: Insectoid nanoborg destroyed during Saiyan attack.
"Probably, Vegeta's fault...or Nappa," Gajeel said.
ANDROID 20: Bugger all!
PICCOLO: So... I guess you've never seen a Super Saiyan, then?
ANDROID 20: 19?
ANDROID 19: (scans) Data not found.
ANDROID 20: Then, no.
PICCOLO: Goku?
GOKU: Oh, yeah, okay. (powers up and transforms into a Super Saiyan)
"THE COOLEST TRANSFORMING SEQUENCE YET!" Natsu roared loudly.
ANDROID 19: Power output exceeds projected parameters.
ANDROID 20: I don't care if you're Super Saiyan or a soup-or-salad! 19! Kill him! Kill him proper!
"Good luck with that. You're not dealing with the average Saiyan anymore," Levy smiled, confidently.
"Really?" Gajeel eyed her. Levy stuck out her tongue as a response.
ANDROID 19: Executing . Loading... 10%... 20%... 40%... 70%... 65%...
"Another failed machine. I've seen way better ones than this," Laxus mocked.
ANDROID 20: Wait, what?
ANDROID 19: (crashes) A fatal error has occurred. This program will now shut down. Would you like to send a report?
ANDROID 20: No, don't send a report!
ANDROID 19: Sending report.
The mages laughed at the banter.
ANDROID 20: Son of a whore! Now to wait five minutes to do absolutely nothing!
"Please don't tell me they'll do that," Freed hoped.
(Goku punches Android 19 into a plateau)
"Oh, thank goodness," He sighed in relief.
ANDROID 20: Oh, bollocks…
"YEAH!"
[ENDING SEQUENCE]
"NO DAMMIT!"
[STINGER]
(shows an advertisement for Puarina Cat Chow with Yamcha's "Cat Loves Food" song playing in the background)
"Absolute dog shit," Gajeel gagged.
Chapter End