Thank you so much to the people that followed and favorited last chapter! You guys are the reason that I got this chapter out so quickly. And thank you so much to the Guests that reviewed. Usually a wait to release another chapter until I get two reviews. It's just a funny habit of mine - one that I use to kind of judge whether people are into my stories enough to publish another chapter. Completely selfish, I know.
Chapter 3: I Kissed A Girl (And I'm Pretty Sure I Liked It)
"So you made out with a college girl?" Tina froze at the top of the steps to the basement, a sick sort of dread starting up in the pit of her stomach. Why was it that she always seemed to walk in on the most awful conversations?
Silently, she prayed that Kelso had been the one to jump into Kate's bed last night and not her idiot brother.
"Yep." Dammit. That was definitely Eric's voice. Red hot anger rolled through her veins. Red hot anger for Donna - sweet Donna Pinciotti who had been nothing but nice to her stupid, lanky brother.
"Start talking." Hyde. Of course the whole idiot group of boys were chirping around a guy that had just gotten his face gnawed off by a slutty college girl.
"Tell it like a story. Like a sexy story." Slowly and as quietly as possible, Tina made her way down the rickety, wooden stairs, rolling her eyes at Kelso's obnoxious request.
"She like jammed her whole entire tongue into my mouth." A little bit of this morning's french toast came up and Tina had to stop in the middle of the stairs to gag into her hands. "You wouldn't think a girl had like that much tongue - You know?!"
Finally, Tina was at the bottom of the stairs, a feeling of disgust taking over as she leaned against the wooden stake that held the stairs in place and stared at the cluster of boys.
"And then," Tina cut in, her eyes going icy as she caught her twin brothers. Who suddenly looked like a rabbit in front of a wolf as all eyes turned to the brunette. "She like totally started moaning and like wiggling her body up against mine-"
"Oh lord," Fez whispered, his voice small and his eyes wide as all three boy's besides her brother gaped at her.
"Did your sister make out with Kate too?" Kelso questioned Eric softly and a look of utter horror crossed her brother's face. "Did you get pictures?"
Tina's eyes narrowed as she made her way over to the couch. "But her tongue - her tongue started just growing and like moving and then all of a sudden - oh my god. I can't remember. It was like alien shit, man."
"Dude, what happened?" Kelso questioned and Tina shrugged, going around the couch to stand just beside Hyde and right in front of her brother.
"I don't know." Hyde's eyes caught hers and he tipped his head toward the open spot just beside him. No. What she needed to do next would require some better footing. Her eyes snapped as they turned slowly to meet her brother's. "All I know is that Kate's tongue is really long and today my brother doesn't have a brain after frenching it with her."
Tina's hand flew out, catching Eric's ear in a harsh slap that sent his hair flying to the side and his eyes watering. All of the boys reeled back except for Hyde who looked utterly delighted. He had only seen Tina like this a couple of times and every time it didn't cease to amaze him. She looked like a she-demon, all red faced and angry. Steven Hyde thought she looked utterly gorgeous.
"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" Tina snarled, leaning down so that her nails could dig into Eric's ear.
"Owowowowowowowowow." His eyes went watery as he tried futilely to claw her hand away.
"You are the stupidest person I have ever come across," she continued on, not losing any steam as Hyde laughed, nodding with delight and Kelso started to do the same. Fez still looked bewildered and scared. "And you're my brother - my twin brother which makes it even worse. That means that some of your stupid could have rubbed off on me when we came out of the womb together-"
"Ew," Eric squeaked out before he was grunting as Tina twisted his ear around, cutting him off.
"Who are you going out with?" His twin sister demanded and he blinked.
"Um…" She twisted his ear again, sending a short screech from his lips.
"DONNA PINCIOTTI, YOU DILLWEED!" She shoved him away from her and back into his chair, sitting heavily on the spot just beside Hyde. Her blue eyes were like crystallized shards of glass in Alaska as she glared across the limited space that separated her twin brother and herself. "Did she - I don't know - pop into your mind anytime before or after this whole excursion from reality?"
"Excursion -" Eric looked around at his buddies for help and Tina settled back for the show, not noticing Hyde's hand as it came to rest along her waist. Or how close she had scooted to him - their thighs nearly touching and their sides meeting. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Tina's foot collided with Eric's shin and Hyde grinned, his hand tightening on her waist.
"STOP HURTING ME!" Eric cried and for a moment, Tina thought that he might start blubbering like he had when they were in middle school and he had fallen off the monkey bars.
"Do you think for one second that Kate - beautiful, hot, blue-eyed Kate - will look at you twice after this? I would say she's at about an eight-"
"Really? Only a eight?" Tina shrugged, meeting Hyde's curious gaze with an unsympathetic tilt of her head.
"There's something about her face that I don't really like," she confided and Hyde nodded, considering.
"You're only about a five at the best, Eric," Kelso said with a iffy smile, patting his shoulder in a consoling way. "I mean if you were at a ten like me-"
"Why are we counting?" Fez inquired, his brows furrowing.
"It's a way to judge hotness," Hyde informed him. "Ten's the hottest and unfortunately for our two-timing friend named Eric, five is average at best."
"Oh." Fez's eyes moved to Eric in consideration. "I think five is generous."
"Okay." Eric regained himself, shooting a quick glare to everyone. "Okay. I get it. You guys are just jealous. A hot, college girl kissed me and not you and you're all jealous. That's fine. I forgive you."
Tina nodded, crossing her legs. "This is coming from someone who totally isn't jealous of you - She played you."
For a moment, there was silence. And then Kelso leaned forward. "Are you sure you're not a little bit jealous? Like... jealous enough to go and show Kate what a real kiss is?"
"In your nightie?" Fez added and Tina pressed her lips together as Hyde grinned.
"With us as witnesses?" The curly haired boy added mischievously.
Tina looked away, ignoring them all. "Listen, Eric. I'm your twin sister. I know you. And I also know girls like Kate. She isn't in to you - Think about it from her point of view. You're her friend's little brother-"
"Scrawny little brother," Hyde added.
"With the 'action figures' in his room and the porn stash under his bed and a Star Wars poster hanging in your closet."
"I like to have the force with me in the morning's," Eric snapped and Tina rolled her eyes.
"Eric." Tina reached out, squeezing his hand. "Did she have sex with you?"
Everyone leaned forward, their breath bated and Eric blinked, suddenly looking uncomfortable.
"No - I mean - She kissed…" His shoulders slouched, his brows furrowing. "But then… I don't know. She kind of… Um… Oh no."
"What?" Hyde inquired and Eric's eyes flicked up. Tina smiled. There was her sweet brother.
"I don't know. I feel kind of guilty. Almost like...dirty."
"Dirty is good," Kelso jumped in and Tina bowed her head at the obnoxious words.
"I like feeling dirty," Fez laughed and then abruptly stopped as Tina caught his eyes.
"Shut up," Tina snapped, slamming her fist into Kelso's arm and then turning quickly back to her twin brother as the sleazeball howled. "Do you want to be like Michael Kelso? I'm surprised he doesn't have some weird penis disease already, Eric."
"HEY! I CAN HEAR YOU!"
"I think I gotta tell Donna," Eric said and Tina leaned back with a grin.
"Really?" Hyde suddenly jumped in and Tina tensed. "Well, on behalf of men everywhere-"
Hyde slapped Eric in the face, staring hard at the Tina's brother as she gaped at him. Suddenly, with an almost sickening clarity Tina realized that Hyde still had one hand on her waist. And that she was almost sitting on his lap. She remembered that he wasn't her boyfriend and that if he was, he would be slobbering over every girl in Wisconsin. And she would be the same girl who walked in on Todd Jackson fucking her sister.
She shoved away from the curly haired boy, ignoring his bewildered stare as she turned back to her brother as Kelso gave him a few wise words of advice. "The right thing to do would be to juggle 'em both until it blows up in your face."
Tina slapped Kelso in the face, pacing away from the group of men as irritation sizzled through her veins. Why were guys such dogs?
"You know that you can't hide anything," Tina snapped, jumping up onto the washing machine and glaring at a spot on the wall. "And not only do the three stooges know but I also know. You idiot."
"But…" Eric moved tentatively towards the sulking brunette, touching her shoulder. "You wouldn't tell her would you? Sis? Come on…"
Tina sighed, her shoulders wilting. "No," she mumbled out, dropping her gaze to the floor as Eric gave her a bone-crushing hug.
"That's my twin si-!" Eric stopped, all eyes snapping to the stairs as Donna came down, a smile on her lips. Tina looked away, guilt already clogging her pores. Eric wasn't the only one who couldn't hide anything.
"Hey!" Donna's eyes flicked around curiously at the stares. "What're you guys talking about?"
No one said anything. Tina didn't even think that anyone breathed. Sweat started to pop out along her brothers brow and belatedly, she realized that she was having the same reaction. Across the room, Hyde caught her gaze, grinning but Tina only scowled and looked away.
"I KISSED A GIRL!" Eric finally said and Tina let out a relieved breath, giving her brother a quick hug and bolting for the door as the basement was filled with male screams of outrage.
Tina had the sinking feeling that Eric and Donna were about to have their first fight - Well, whatever the hell they were.
"Hey, Tina." The brunette turned slowly at the voice, coming face to face with Hyde as he came up to the kitchen where Red and Kitty were feverishly trying to get ready for Thanksgiving. Kelso and Fez pushed past them both, heading quickly to the cookies at the kitchen table. "Everything okay?"
Tina had to remind herself harshly that Hyde and her weren't going out. She was his best friend's twin sister and that was it. It was like the whole college girl situation but instead of her being the college girl, she was instead the, scrawny, white boy who was too stupid to comprehend anything more than lust. She smiled thinly, crossing her arms.
"Peachy," Tina said and Hyde's brows furrowed.
"Yeah," he said slowly, his eyes wandering over her tense face. "Is this about the whole Eric thing?"
Her mouth went dry and suddenly she was so angry that she could have bit him if no one else were around. "You know what, Hyde? It is about the whole Eric thing. You know that him and Donna have something going on."
Behind his glasses, Hyde's eyes narrowed. "Yeah. So?"
"Soo," she said slowly, tipping her head back so that she could glare at him more fully and jabbing a finger into his chest. "Why wouldn't you tell Donna? More than that, why would you want him to keep it a secret?"
For a moment, Hyde mulled it over, keeping eye contact with her. They were so close now that it looked like at any moment they might touch. In fact, to everyone else in the room, it seemed like the only option. Kitty was holding Red back from going over to the pair and Kelso and Fez were giggling to each other behind the fridge door. Laurie's blue eyes narrowed as she smirked, blotting icing onto cupcakes as she watched the show.
"I didn't think it was any of my business, bunny." Tina's hackles raised as her eyes went wide Bunny - he had been calling her that ever since he hid in her room and found her stuffed animals during a hide and seek game. Now though, he knew that it meant something more. Cute girls were nicknamed bunny.
She seethed, sure he was doing it to get a rise out of her.
"Whatever," she muttered darkly, pushing past him to go up to her room.
"I can't believe you forgot grandma." It was taking everything that Tina had not to break out into hysterical laughter, her eyes staying firmly on the mashed potatoes and turkey in front of her. Eric and Laurie had long since booked it to the car and were currently speeding towards their forsaken grandmother, leaving Tina with Red, Kitty, and...Kate.
Tina's smile dropped immediately as she shot the blonde a glare out of the corner of her eyes. What a slut.
"Now, now, Tina," Red said warningly, keeping a keen eye on Kitty who was stabbing at her green beans in anxious silence at the moment. He searched for words. "We all forgot your grandmother."
Apparently it was better that five whole individuals had misplaced a whole entire other person. As it was, Tina held a certain kind of dislike for her grandmother. Last Thanksgiving, she had caught her calling Kitty a whore. Tina had promptly responded that it was better to be a whore than a cranky old hag with too much hairspray. She had been grounded for a week which left her in the care of Kitty. Who had watched movies with her every night and given her packed lunches that Eric had even envied. And that Hyde had mooched off of.
"So, Kate…" Tina started in slowly and both Kitty and Red's eyes snapped up to watch their youngest daughter intently. They had raised her for too many years to misplace that slow, considerate voice for anything more than venom waiting in the mouth of a hidden snake.
However, Kate had only just come to the Forman household and she was too dumb to consider Tina more than a passing threat. Little did she know that years around Laurie had given her the proper tools to tear the same sex down. Tina smiled slowly, sensing a willing, soft victim in the dumb, doe eyes of Kate.
"How many pounds have you put on since you started college?" Kate's smile dropped, her face paling as Kitty gasped and Red jerked a bit at the unexpectedly vicious question.
"I - I haven't -" Kate's eyes flicked around for help. Little did she know that the only thing keeping her in this house was her "friendship" with Laurie. Red had learned about Eric's little kiss just that morning and had quickly passed the news onto Kitty who was equally astonished.
Tina swirled her mashed potatoes. "I only ask because I saw our scale moved in the bathroom. Oh - and also a picture of you when you were in high school with my sister."
The youngest Forman gave a sympathetic wince, patting the shell-shocked blonde on the shoulder. "It must have been really stressful having to live up to someone with a waistline like my sisters. Such a big difference."
That was the final blow. Tina could see it in the hurt that flashed through Kate's eyes and the way her lip was trembling. She really shouldn't have messed with Tina's twin brother and then tried to play it off like she wasn't at fault. Tina knew that Red and Kitty couldn't do anything about it but she certainly could. Especially for Donna.
"I need - I'm going -" Kate jerked out of her seat, making a sprint for the upstairs bathroom like she was being chased by Cerberus himself. Work done, Tina sat back with a delighted smile.
"That wasn't very nice, Tina," Red said slowly, picking at the food on his place and Tina nodded.
"I'm sorry, daddy." She wasn't sorry at all. In fact, she felt a lot better than she had since her little talk with Hyde.
"Very mean," Kitty agreed, picking up her box of cigarettes. "Have some cinnamon sugar carrots."
Every year, the Forman's had a sort of after Thanksgiving party. Everyone that wanted to come came. Which was actually a very limited affair considering that it was mainly the Pinciotti's and Eric and Tina's friends. And since Eric's friends were Tina's friends, it was a very short list.
"I heard that you made Kate cry." Laurie was looking at Tina like she was about to eat her younger sister alive, her blue eyes narrowed and her arms crossed. Tina sighed, glancing over to the stares to see Kate's red-rimmed eyes staring out through the bars.
"Did she tell you that she frenched Eric?" From the look that Laurie had on her face, obviously that hadn't come up in the conversation.
"Aren't Eric and Donna-?"
"Yup." Although Laurie didn't like to admit ever liking anyone, she did like the Pinciotti girl. She held a level of spunk that most girls didn't. And although it was a secret buried far, far deep inside of her cold, black heart, Laurie did hold an astonishing amount of protectiveness for her two siblings. Laurie's eyes snapped dangerously.
"Interesting. Good to know." Tina could only assume by the thin smile that her sister wore that Tina's half-assed comments were going to be nothing compared to Laurie's full attention.
The brunette grinned, sitting back in her father's deep chair. Life was definitely looking better than it had 24 hours ago.
In the 1970's cute girls were actually called bunnies as well as chick, foxy, dudet... You get it.
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