Hold my hand

A Top Gun: Maverick story

Pairing: Lt. Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace & L.t. Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw

Mentioned: Hangman, Maverick, Goose, Carole.

Chapter three

He was reliving it in his head.. The bird strike that nearly killed Natasha and Bob. Sitting in the debriefing room as he let it sink in that he nearly lost her just as he got her back.. Sitting there in silence waiting for word on if they were okay, it was killing him not knowing. He had only not long ago been honest with her and himself about how he truely felt and now he could have lost her, and right now, he still didn't know if she was going to be okay.

Things like this can happen all the time, it's nothing new at all, but when it involves someone you deeply care for, it can open a lot of wounds, including old ones you didn't know you still had and he was hurting a lot, worried about Natasha as well as Bob, and reliving all past memories.. He had been young when his father died, but he still recalled the feeling and the pain when his mother told him that his Daddy was never coming home. It had been a hard conversation between Carole Bradshaw and a young Bradley Bradshaw.

Then Maverick came in and told him how Natasha and Bob were. He knew that Brad was still in the debriefing room and he had seen the way that Natasha and Bradley were around each other, and knew that the kid would be struggling with it, so he came in and let him know they were okay but staying in hospital overnight. His heart skipped a beat when he heard Maverick say they were okay, but he was still angry, he had a to of time to think about the past while he was sitting there and waiting, and his anger came to fruition when Maverick came into the room.

He didn't mean what he said, it just came out, the whole thing about no having a family to care when he burnt in.. He cared, Brad did care, as much as he wished that Maverick hadn't done what he did, he still cared for his surrogate father, that is why he was so angry with him. If he didn't care about Maverick, he wouldn't have ever been that angry and emotional about it. He had walked out of that argument without another word said, and headed back home.

Trying to sleep wasn't easy, he tossed and turned, reliving what happened with the bird strike, and what he had said to Maverick. He wished he hadn't said what he said.. He had regretted it the moment it came out of his mouth, but he couldn't let Maverick see that.. Not now. He wasn't ready to be emotionally vulnerable with him, All he wanted was to see Natasha with his own eyes and see she was okay. He had tried to go see her in the hospital but the staff there wouldn't let him in since he wasn't family and both Natasha and Bob were sleeping.

He woke to the sound of a familiar voice singing and he opened his eyes groggily and blinked away the sleep, and as his eyes adjusted to the light and smiled, sitting up in bed as he saw Natasha sitting beside him, singing her favourite songs. He leaned in and kissed her softly, closing his eyes again as he relished the feel of her lips on his, sighing softly as he let his forehead rest on hers.

"I nearly lost you yesterday", he whispered, opening his eyes again and gazing into them, his eyes filled with sorrow and a sadness that he couldn't get rid of. She nodded and sighed too. It had been a crazy day, and she didn't want to relieve it anytime soon. "I know.. It was a close call, but I'm right here though Brad", she whispered softly, as she got more comfortable and laid down tangling her legs with his under the covers.

This was what he needed in a way, a huge wake up call to know what he wanted and what he wanted was Natasha. "You aren't rethinking us are you?", she asked in a soft voice curiously, trying to hide her sadness at the thought, "No.. The opposite actually, It's made me really realise that what I want has been in front of me for all this time and I never did a damn thing about it".

She smiled softly, feeling a relief lift from her shoulders and snuggled into him more, and kissed his shoulder, "I'm not going anywhere Brad, why do you think they call me Phoenix?" She eyed him curiously, her smile growing a little wider at his now raised eyebrows, "Because I always rise from the ashes and I always will".

Smiling softly, he nodded his head and chuckled, "Well, that is true, you are a true phoenix in that way". Natasha could sense that there was more that he wanted to say, and she looked over at him from her spot, lifting her head an inch from his chest, "Penny for your thoughts?", she asked softly, trying to not push him too much, he had after all been more open with her recently that she didn't want to make him feel like he had to talk if he wasn't ready.

Sighing softy, he leaned in, kissing her shoulder as he gazed into her eyes, "Just something I said to Mav yesterday, about how he didn't have anyone, wife or family to grieve for him when he burnt in", I was upset about what happened to you and Bob up there and It was the first chance I really had to have a go at him about pulling my papers so I really went at him and now I'm wondering maybe I went too hard".

Nodding her head, she sighed back, understanding that while she didn't completely get the nuisances of his and Maverick's relationship, she understood that it was complicated, and that while she knew he loved Maverick like a father, he also was hurt by him as well. "Honestly Brad, I think you two need to sort your shit out because despite wether he picks you for this mission or not, if you want him in your future, you both need to talk it out, and I mean in a mature grown up kind of way, and if he doesn't pick you for the mission, you need to not take it personally".

In his heart, he knew that what she said was true, and that he shouldn't take it personally if he wasn't chosen for the mission but when he knew that Maverick had interfered with his career in the past, it was hard to trust that the man was going to do the right thing and choose or not choose him for the mission for the right reasons. "I know, but I just don't know how to without getting emotional and angry over it, because he and my Dad have always been the reason why I have wanted to be in the Navy as a fighter pilot and to have derail my career when all I have ever wanted is to be like him". He shook his head, trying to compose himself, "He is my role model, the man I wanted to grow up to be, so in all honesty, I don't know how not to take it personal".

It was still early, and they still had a little bit of time to sleep before they needed to be up, so Natasha smiled and leaned in, kissing him, "I know, but if you don't forgive him, you will regret it Brad, so just think about what I've said okay?", at his nod, she smiled and continued, "Now we can sleep a little longer before we need to be up, so how about we take advantage of that, I know I didn't sleep well in the hospital and I am sure you didn't either". He kissed her back softly and nodded his head, "Sounds like a plan to me", he whispered as he closed his eyes, and wrapped her in his arms, feeling at peace knowing that she was okay.

Author's notes.

Thank you for everyone who has read my story and also commented, or followed, favoured it. I really appreciate your support on these Top Gun stories, I haven't had a chance to update before now too much, but I am trying to get back into the swing of writing on a more regular basis, I have a few Top Gun stories plus a whole heap of Hawaii five-o ones in progress, so I'll get there, one step at a time, or one chapter at a time.

Bobcatwriter:

Thanks, I really hope you enjoy this chapter, I'm enjoying the kind of slow burn where Rooster begins to open up to Phoenix and trusts her with every aspect of his life, plus I'm trying to be respectful of the fact they are both in the Navy and on the same training for the same mission, so not wanting to do anything in public that would cause them to get in trouble, but I think Maverick sees it for sure.

Amgjeep27:

Thank you so much for your support, I hope you enjoy this chapter as wel.

LCDRfirefly:

Thank you so much for your support and reading this story, I really hope you enjoy this chapter as well. I am trying to capture their connection as best as I can, where she is almost like the voice of reason for him, but doesn't try to push him one way or the other, she is just showing she is there for him. I do think there was a lot more then just brothers in arms type of thing there, just that whole bar scene and then the scene where you see Rooster visibly upset after Phoenix and Bob's accident.