NOTE: Goku is really smart, even Abridged Goku is more observant than people think. He just speaks in a way that really confuses people. Now to answer some questions.
1. Yes, I will have them watch the HIFL series. But, since that is still ongoing, I'll wait till that is done for them to watch it.
2. There is no Buu Abridged, and they'll be seeing the canonical versions of the Z cast. Which will be a weird adjustment for them, but I have plans for that. I'll be using a mixture of the English dub/Japanese version of the saga for certain parts, mainly for dialogue purposes. Majin Vegeta's speech for example.
3. I want to do a FF7 Machinabridged reaction fic, but if I do one it wouldn't be Fairy Tail watching it. But, that's if I fully decide to go through with it.
4. I do have this story saved up on Google docs if this ever gets taken down. If it does I'll post it on Archive.
5. Originally I wanted to write them meeting the Abridged Z Cast at the end of this fic, but decided against it. Mainly, because I have zero confidence of being able to keep their personalities correct.
6. When I was coming up with this story I was deciding on if I wanted to include Mavis and Zeref, but decided against it. Mainly because, this takes place at the end of Fairy Tail and I haven't read 100 Year Quest. So, I don't know if the two made appearances in that or not. Even if they have it's too late to even add them.
Enjoy and Review!
Chapter 69: Group Therapy
[DISCLAIMER]
BULMA: The following is a...
BABY TRUNKS: Fan-based parody!
BULMA: That's right! DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and DragonBall GT are all owned by...
BABY TRUNKS: FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and Akira Toriyama!
BULMA: Very good!
BULMA & BABY TRUNKS: Please support the official release!
"That was so cute!" Most of the women gushed at Baby Trunks saying the disclaimer.
(cut to Semi-Perfect Cell floating above an archipelago reflecting on recent events)
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: (thinking) So I'm a hair's breath from perfection, and then Triclops shows up and decides, "I'm just gonna turn triangles into f**king squares!"
"PFFFTTT! He did do that!" Millianna laughs.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: Then Goku shows up-apparently he can teleport-gotta look into that later! But at the very top of this long list of stupid questions is (out loud) WHERE...ARE YOU... 18?!
"Hopefully she's far enough away from you," Erza said. The last thing needed was Cell reaching its perfect form.
(shift over to Androids 16 and 18 on an island, hiding from the Bio-Android)
ANDROID 18: We got lucky. With all these islands, it'll be tough for him to find us.
"How are you not further away!?" Jellal yelled.
"To be fair, she is carrying 16 with her," Kagura pointed out.
ANDROID 16: Technically, it's an archipelago. Noun: A group of islands.
"Hm, I didn't know that. Thanks, 16!" Natsu gave a thumbs up.
"Did 16 get downgraded into a dictionary?" Romeo asked.
"If anything it just adds more to him," Wendy huffed.
ANDROID 18: Thank you, 16.
ANDROID 16: You are welcome.
ANDROID 18: Well, we could sneak away if we could get underwater. 16, are you waterproof?
ANDROID 16: (electricity buzzes from the hole in his head) I was.
"That's just great!" Mira pouted.
"As long as Cell doesn't do something drastic like blowing up the islands, they should be fine," Lily said.
"You do remember it has Vegeta's DNA, right?" Levy spoke.
ANDROID 18: ...Shit. Then all we can do is wait and hope he just moves on...
(cut back to Semi-Perfect Cell, who is still hovering over the archipelago)
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT WE COULD BE TOGETHER?! WE COULD BE PERFECT!
"Why do you sound like an Ex-Boyfriend?" Cana questioned.
"Please don't give me that image…" Lucy whined.
MAN: (calling out from one of the islands) Dude! I know you're having issues with your girl-trust me, I get it-but you're making a scene, man!
"I'm sorry...who are you?" Minerva asked.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: Can I help you, uh...?
MAN: My name's Tom!
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: Oh, well, hi, Tom! I'll try to make less of a scene while I LIQUIFY YOUR INSIDES AND PROCEED TO DRINK YOU!
"Thought we moved past that part already. Shouldn't be any more reason to keep drinking people," Lisanna said.
TOM: Hey, no need to be hostile, man!
WOMAN: Do you people mind? My child is trying to nap!
TOM: I'm just trying to help this guy out with his lady problems!
"I don't think I'd describe this situation as Lady Problems," Macao said.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: I don't need your help, Tom! But thank you?! (a baby is heard crying) Rgh...
SALLY: Well, now you've done it!
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: Okay, ma'am... FIRST of all...!
"This is gonna be a while," Laxus grumbled.
[OPENING SEQUENCE]
(cut to Bulma in her plane flying towards Korin's Tower)
KORIN: Hm? (walks over to the side and looks down) Oh, it's Bulma! Hey Bulma, did you bring back Yajirobe-? (Bulma's plane flies right by) OOOOOOOOF... course you didn't! *sighs* I miss my Bean Daddy…
"He'll be back to you soon," Juvia said.
(Bulma's plane is seen arriving at The Lookout)
BULMA: Huh. So it does just kinda float there. (lands her plane on the ground and opens the door) Hey! Anyone here?
GOHAN: Bulma!
GOKU: Hey, Bulma!
BULMA: Hey, guys! (Gohan runs up and shakes Baby Trunk's hand while Bulma looks up and notices Trunks).
Mira squeals at the cuteness of Gohan and Baby Trunks.
BULMA: Huh? Oh my gosh, Trunks! Your hair! It looks good! Platonically, of course.
"Still traumatized from soliciting him for sex, huh?" Gajeel jokes.
TRUNKS: It's okay, Mom. I literally just spent a year with Dad in the Time Chamber. I'm over it.
BULMA: Wait, you spent an entire year with Vegeta? Even I haven't managed that.
"It's a wonder that Trunks is even still alive," Wakaba said.
"I think Vegeta may have warmed up to Trunks in there, if he was willing to spend the year with him," Romeo said.
"We'll see," His dad responded.
TRUNKS: Wouldn't recommend it. All he does is scream at you.
"Sounds like Gramps," Natsu said and he was whacked on the head by a wooden cane.
"That's because you don't listen!" Makarov yelled.
BULMA: (gives a suggestive look at Vegeta) Yeah, he does. Speaking of, how about you? Why didn't your hair grow?
VEGETA: Because unlike a half-breed, a pure-blooded Saiyan's hair does not change from the day we are born... with the exceptions of beards and moustaches.
"That's actually a nice little fact to know about Saiyans. No wonder Gohan's hair grew and Goku's didn't," Levy said.
GOKU: Boy. Now I can't stop thinking about Vegeta with a moustache.
(Vegeta is seen with a moustache through Goku's vision)
VEGETA: Moustache…
"Eh, makes him look lame," Mira shrugged.
GOKU: Hee..
BULMA: Oh! Before I forget... (pushes the button on a capsule and throws it at the ground, revealing a white container) I brought you guys some armor for your fight against the Androids!
(Goku, Gohan, and Trunks all put on the armor)
"I like it, but it doesn't really fit Goku or Gohan," Erza said as the male Saiyans put the armor on.
"But, it fits Trunks?" Gray sounded skeptical.
"He's Vegeta's son. It's more or less a requirement for him," Erza told him.
VEGETA: This is easily the greatest thing you've ever produced. (Baby Trunks makes a noise) Yes, even you! (Baby Trunks whines)
"Ah see, he does care. Or he learned to, I'll take it either way," Yukino hoped that Vegeta learned to care.
BULMA: (to Piccolo and Tien) Aren't you guys going to try them on, too?
PICCOLO: No.
TIEN: No.
BULMA: Any reason?
"Besides being killed by Nappa and then getting outclassed by Saiyans? Then no, they don't have any reasons," Levy said.
PICCOLO: No.
TIEN: No.
GOKU: Hey, look, Vegeta! I'm you! Paragon 'til death!
VEGETA: ...You ruined it. You ruined it, and I'm leaving.
GOKU: You want, I should teleport you, buddy?
VEGETA: I hate you. (flies off)
"And he was just getting along with others too," Minerva rolled his eyes.
TRUNKS: I should follow him.
"That's all you've been doing," Minerva snarked.
GOKU: Oh, before you go, you'll probably want these. (gives Trunks two Senzu Beans) Just in case.
TRUNKS: Thanks, but...hopefully, we won't need them.
GOKU/Everyone: Yeah, but...Vegeta.
TRUNKS: Father.
BULMA: You should really hurry up. Said father has a head start on you.
"And that's the last thing anyone needs," Makarov sighed.
TRUNKS: Yeah. And who knows what atrocity Cell is committing as we speak...
(cut to Semi-Perfect Cell STILL arguing with the islanders)
SALLY: My husband and I go to couple's counseling every Tuesday, and it's really helped us!
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: Yes, and I'm happy to hear that, Sally, but my situation isn't exactly-
TOM: Well, if you love something, you have got to set it free!
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: Okay, that's... That's not-
RICHARD: You can't be so clingy! It's kinda creepy!
"Yes, this is 100% an atrocity and I want it to end," Minerva growled.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: But it's-
SALLY: Do you think it's inadequacies in the bedroom?
"And this is where we draw the line," Laxus rubbed his temples.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: (thinking) And... we're done. (out loud) 18! You have until the count of five! Show yourself now, or I'm wiping out these islands one by one until I find you!
Levy looked down at Lily and the Exceed sighed in defeat.
HARRY: Don't you think that's a little extreme?!
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: You're not involved in this anymore, Harry!
HARRY: I think I'm pretty involved!
"I feel like all of them are pretty involved in this," Wendy spoke, now nervous.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: FIVE!
ANDROID 18: This is bad! This is really bad!
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: FOUR!
ANDROID 16: Do not fret. You are too valuable.
"I really don't think Cell is bluffing here," Gildarts disagreed with the injured android.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: (in the distance) THREE!
ANDROID 16: He would not risk destroying you.
ANDROID 18: And you're sure about that?
"35% sure," Freed answered.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: TWO!
ANDROID 16: Trust me.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: (smirks evilly) ...one. (fires a Big Bang Crash [a modified version of Vegeta's Big Bang Attack] at the nearest island)
RICHARD: CAN WE PLEASE GO BACK TO TALKING ABOUT THIS?!
(the islanders scream as the blast connects and the island is destroyed)
"I'm suddenly getting Namek Vegeta flashbacks," Levy's mind flashed back to when Vegeta started blowing up islands to find Gohan and Krillin.
ANDROID 18: YOU WERE SAYING, EXACTLY?!
ANDROID 16: (looks down at a squirrel) This is a fluffy bird…
ANDROID 18: ...Yeah. Guess that one's on me…
"Should've realized he was too broken to think rationally," Millianna purred sadly.
(cut to The Lookout)
MR. POPO: All right, you maggots ready yet?
GOKU: Yup! Sorry for the wait!
GOHAN: I can't believe you wasted half an hour on EATING! There's food INSIDE!
"Honestly, I expected him to eat longer," Erza sighed.
"I've eaten for twice as long," Natsu bragged.
"Heh, I've spent 5 hours eating metal and food, Salamander. Guess you can't compare to me," Gajeel bragged.
"What was that metal mouth!? Want to have an eating contest right now!?" Natsu got in his face.
"Ah, I wanna join in, Natsu! You're joining us, Rogue!" Sting looked at his partner.
"WHY!?" Rogue screamed in protest.
GOKU: Oh, come on, Gohan, what's half an hour?
GOHAN: 7.6 days.
GOKU: *gasps* But that's half a fortnight!
MR. POPO: ...Okay, I'm done with this. You get in.
"Someone's finally done with the bullshit," Cana laughed.
(Mr. Popo opens the door to the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, with Goku and Gohan entering inside. Inside, Gohan takes a few steps forward and looks around.)
GOKU: Well, here we are. You know, it was awfully nice of you to come join me, Gohan.
GOHAN: I never really had a choice... You basically kidnapped me.
"You are his kid. Be happy to spend some time with your father," Erza gave a pointed glare.
"God, you really do sound like a mother," Minerva rolled her eyes.
GOKU: Oh, come on, Gohan, you can't kidnap your own kid!
GOHAN: I don't know if that's true... I'll have to read up on that.
"If you don't have custody over the child, then yes it's kidnapping," Macao answered.
GOKU: Sorry Gohan, no books here...or internet. Only this room...and the void. (the word "void" echoes two more times)
"Void!" Happy and Frosch copied.
GOHAN: Uh, does it do that all the time?
GOKU: Oh, yeah! But only if you say the word "void". (the word "void" echoes two more times again)
"That's...oddly specific, and annoying all at the same time!" Lucy said.
GOHAN: Okay. Well, we're gonna avoid that word for now. (the word "void" echoes two more times once again) ...Why?!
"Why!?" Lucy also exclaimed.
GOKU: All right, Gohan, the first thing we're gonna do is focus on getting you Super Saiyan.
This tidbit of information made the mages excited, since they never saw how Future Gohan became a Super Saiyan. They were looking forward to seeing this Gohan do it.
GOKU: Now, it won't be easy, because Krillin's not here to die for you.
"When did that become a requirement for anyone?" Lucy questioned.
GOKU: But I think with some crunches, pull-ups, and plenty of milk, you'll find your way.
"Vegeta is growling right now and he won't even know why," Gajeel snickered.
GOHAN: Oh! Well, if you really believe in me...
GOKU: Also, we're gonna fight! A lot!
GOHAN: (sounding a little depressed) ...I need an adult.
GOKU: I am an adult-!
GOHAN/Almost everyone: (sounding disappointed) No. No, you are not.
"Though, I do wonder what Gohan was expecting them to do? They're in there to train to fight Cell, so of course they're going to fight each other," Erza wondered.
"I'm pretty sure he just wants reasons to complain about his dad. Not even bothering to really care about the reasons for his dad's choices," Laxus answered.
(cut to Semi-Perfect Cell destroying more islands in his search for Android 18)
ANDROID 18: Well, I'm pretty sure that was the last island. You know, besides this one.
ANDROID 16: Island. Noun. Island. Noun. Island. Noun.
"Someone really needs to fix him," Wendy said, worried.
ANDROID 18: We have got to get you fixed up, buddy.
ANDROID 16: Have you tried turning me off and on again?
"Won't that kill you?" Romeo asked.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: (floating above the island the Androids are currently inhabiting) (thinking) That's the last island. She's either there, or I've killed her... (out loud while preparing to destroy the island) Oh well, in for a penny!
"Might as well flip the coin at this point," Rogue said.
(Semi-Perfect Cell starts charging up his most powerful Big Bang Crash as Android 18 shields herself from impact. Cell slowly forms a grin while laughing until he feels a presence, which is Super Saiyan Vegeta, who flies directly in front of the synthetic serpent. The semi-perfect being is left speechless and merely stares at Vegeta in surprise.)
VEGETA: Ah, warming up by destroying some islands, huh? I can dig that-more of a planet guy, myself.
"You'd destroy anything if it even slightly inconveniences you," Makarov corrected.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: *groans* People all day today. Hello, Vegeta!
VEGETA: Hello, ugly!
"He's going to be difficult. But, I'll cut him some slack, since it's Cell he's fighting," Laxus spoke.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: Ugh, now we're doing this. Okay! (descends with Vegeta to ground level)
ANDROID 18: Wait, is that Vegeta? Well, bright side, we get to watch Vegeta bite it first.
"I love that we think the same sometimes," Minerva smiled.
ANDROID 16: That bird has very sharp hair.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: So, can I help you? 'Cause if you're looking for another broken arm, you could always help me find Android 18.
"Vegeta just brings out the feistiness out of everyone," Levy realized. Strangely being reminded of Vegeta's dialogue with Frieza.
VEGETA: Nope, I just heard how ugly you were, and I had to see it for myself.
TRUNKS: (lands a fair distance behind Vegeta) Also, I'm here.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: And that explains the bravado. You brought Junior!
"Gotta show off in front of the kids," Gildarts smirked. Always loved being showered in affections by the younger mages.
VEGETA: Nope, he's only here because he'd cry otherwise. Because he's a child. Also, you're ugly.
"Really driving in that ugly point. Which isn't wrong," Bickslow said.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: Riveting. Listen, Vegeta, I'm in the middle of something more important than whatever this is... So if you just want to run along and bring back someone substantial, say, I don't know...Goku? (Vegeta stops smiling) That'd be great.
Everyone knew exactly what was coming next after Cell spoke those words. And most of them couldn't help but feel excited at the prospect of Vegeta kicking Cell's ass.
VEGETA: (inhales) Hmm... (starts powering up)
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: Oh, what's wrong, Prince? Did I touch a nerve?
TRUNKS/Levy: You pressed the Goku Button.
SEMI-PERFECT CELL: Excuse me, the what? (gets punched HARD in the gut by Vegeta, who has now become Super Vegeta) *gasp!*
VEGETA: Ya shouldn't a did that.
"Ya know what, I'm actually looking forward to Cell getting its ass kicked," Minerva allowed a confident smirk to grace her lips.
[ENDING SEQUENCE]
[STINGER]
(shows Vegeta singing the "Moustache" song while wearing a variety of moustaches)
VEGETA:
Moustache, Moustache, Moustache, Mou-
Moustache, Moustache, Moustache, Mou-
Moustache, Moustache, Moustache, Mou-
Moustache, Moustache, Moustache
The Exceeds started dancing to the short song about Vegeta's moustache.
Chapter End