NOTE: I have everything planned from this point going forward. You guys don't need to worry about not seeing anything. I'm also not going to do the songs, because there isn't much for them to react to with those. Not changing my mind on that, so don't bother arguing about it.
Just a reminder that yes, this story is cross posted on Ao3 and my user name is exactly the same.
Review and Enjoy!
Chapter 76: Deities, Devils, and Doing the Dirty
GOHAN: (with bed rocking noises are heard) The following is a...fan-based parody. Uh, DragonBall, DragonBall Z, and, uh, DragonBall GT...are all owned by FUNimation, TOEI Animation, Fuji TV, and, uh, Akira Toriyama. Please support the...official release. *sighs*
"A-Are they…?" Macao asked nervously.
"Yes...Yes they are…" Mira answered.
"Holy shit…"
(cut to Goku and Krillin near a lake)
KRILLIN: Man, it feels like years since you and I just went fishing and chilled out. And, of all times, right before a tournament to decide the fate of the world. Weird how stuff works out, am I right?
"How many times has this happened?" Levy wondered.
GOKU: Nobody knows, Krillin.
"Excuse me?" Erza was taken back by Goku's mood.
KRILLIN: Huh?
GOKU: Nobody knows the weight on my shoulders. I feel it every day. Before I go to bed, when I wake up in the morning... Sometimes, I wonder... "Can I do this?"
"Wow...I never knew Goku had thoughts like these. Do you feel like that too, Natsu?" Lucy asked him.
"I don't know, I just always feel like I have to protect my family, ya know?" He answered.
KRILLIN: Wow, I, uh, I had no idea this Cell stuff was getting to you so badly.
GOKU: Cell stuff? I'm talkin' about Chi-Chi.
"What…"
"Oh my god…"
KRILLIN: Chi-Chi?
GOKU: She's been non-stop! Ever since I got out of the chamber, in and out, day in and day out! She'll send Gohan for groceries five counties over in the middle of the day just to get him out of the house!
"No wonder he's so damn tired! She's been sucking him dry!" Wakaba shouted. He was whacked in the head by Mira.
"THERE ARE KIDS PRESENT!"
KRILLIN: You know you can say no, right?
"Consent does go both ways," Levy mentioned.
GOKU: Well, duh! But it's a challenge, Krillin!
"You heard that Eraz! It's a challenge!" Minerva teased.
"You get one more…" Erza growled.
GOKU: And I never back down from a challenge! Also, it feels really good! Have you ever tried it?
"Yeah, Erza, have you ever tried it-"
BAM!
"That was your last one," Erza punched Minerva across the guild. The Sabertooth mage winced as she tried to get back to her feet.
"W-Worth it…"
KRILLIN: Like...with a real person?
"I shouldn't be surprised," Gajeel said.
GOHAN: Hey, Dad? Mom sent me to tell you to come home. She also told me to pick up a lot of peanut butter..?
GOKU: Krillin?
KRILLIN: Look, if you're asking me to tag in, I'm willing, but-
"DUDE!"
"KRILLIN!?"
"I've heard of 'thirsty', but…" Bickslow trailed off.
GOKU: What? NO! Catch more fish while I'm gone!
KRILLIN: Oh, duh! Of course! Like, that'd never work...
GOKU: Yeah, no! It- (stop and pauses) But if you had a wig…
"DO NOT!" Erza growled.
[OPENING SEQUENCE]
(cut to Yamcha, Gohan, and Krillin inside Kame House watching TV)
PRESS RELEASE ANNOUNCER: And now, introducing your World Martial Arts Champion, the strongest man on the planet, Mr. Satan! (Mr. Satan walks up on the balcony as the crowd cheers)
"He looks stupid," Gajeel said.
"I don't know, I kinda like his afro," Natsu grinned.
"I think this is who Nappa was talking about earlier. When he mentioned "champ"," Levy reminds everyone.
"For what purpose?" Romeo asks.
"Money."
YAMCHA: Wait, Martial Arts Champion? I- Did we miss a tournament?
MASTER ROSHI: Yeah.. There was one last month.
KRILLIN: Damn it, we were busy training for the Androids!
"Saving the world is more important than a tournament," Freed said.
"And they can't even do that right," Laxus added.
MASTER ROSHI: What do either of you care?
KRILLIN & YAMCHA: Prize money.
"I can relate to that," Lucy mumbled.
PRESS RELEASE ANNOUNCER: Mr. Satan, what do you have to say to your opponent?
MR. SATAN: Now you listen here, Cell... I know why you gave everyone a week to prepare for your little tournament! It's so you could spend the last seven days on Earth prayin' that MR. SATAN wouldn't show up! (the crowd cheers) So, after I eat my Jimmy Johns, and drink my Hetap, and F**K MY HOT ASIAN WIFE...I'm gonna squash you. Like the bug you are.
"I hope he dies. Is that ok for me to say?" Minerva asks.
"Eh...might be a bit too much," Yukino responds.
PRESS RELEASE ANNOUNCER: Mr. Satan, everybody!
YAMCHA: So, do they know what's going on with his name, or...?
CROWD: Hail Satan! Hail Satan! Hail Satan! Hail Satan!
"Yeah, they're aware," Mira answered.
YAMCHA: Okay, yeah, they know.
GOKU: (pops in) Guys, I need help with my hot Asian wife!
CHI-CHI: (walks up to Goku) Who told you, you could leave the bedroom?! (grabs him by the collar)
"Not a word!" Erza glared at Minerva.
"I wasn't going to say anying
GOKU: ...Guys, don't tell her I'm here...!
"Don't worry, Goku, I won't," Natsu responded.
"I can't tell if you're joking or not…" Gray sweat dropped.
(cut to Perfect Cell standing in the middle of his ring with a TV crew approaching him)
REPORTER: This is bullshit, man... This is suicide!
CAMERAMAN: Dude, pull your balls out of your purse, and do your job.
"Sexist," Kagura glared.
REPORTER: Okay, that's sexist as hell!
CAMERAMAN: Yeah. It's sexist. And do you know what's standing out there? A Pulitzer! Now go get it!
(the reporter lifts his microphone up to Perfect Cell)
REPORTER: U-um, um... Hello!
PERFECT CELL: (opens his eyes and looks at the reporter) Hello, there! (turns his head around to face the reporter) How may I help you?
"That's not creepy as all hell," Sting said, sarcastically.
REPORTER: W-well, M-Mr. Cell...
PERFECT CELL: Oh, please now, don't be so formal! Call me Perfect Cell!
REPORTER: Uh, okay. Perfect Cell-
PERFECT CELL: Mr. Perfect Cell!
"When are you kids gonna start showing me that kind of respect?" Makarov asked.
"Huh? Did you say something, Gramps?" Natsu asked.
"...Nevermind…"
REPORTER: M-M-Mr. Perfect Cell! Can you tell the audience where you are and who you came from? Uh, I-I mean-
PERFECT CELL: No, actually, an apt choice of words! As for the where, this is the immaculate Cell Games arena! As for who, well, *laughs* let me weave you the tale of my origin! Though, I must preface that it does drag on in places, so I'll try to minimize the filler. Now...our story begins as many stories often do... With a young girl shooting a little boy in the face..
"What kind of story is that!?"
(cut to inside Goku's house with Goku yawning)
KRILLIN: You, uh, okay, buddy? You look exhausted.
"Of course, the poor guy's been forced to have sex for days on end," Wakaba said.
"I've been there," Gildarts mentioned.
"Gross! I didn't need to know that!" Cana smacked him.
"Don't be like that, Cana! You're here because of those passionate times!"
"DON'T TELL ME THAT!"
GOKU: Uh-huh. I didn't get a wink last night! Chi-Chi keeps trying to break my record of nine times! "Go for ten," she yells. "GO FOR TEN!"
"Go for ten...go for ten...Go...ten…" Something inside of Erza's brain suddenly clicked. A memory that had been misplaced reappeared in her mind.
"Alright Goten, you're gonna help me train to go against Dad in the tournament!"
"Oh my god…"
KRILLIN: I feel like a man dying of thirst watching another man drown.
GOKU: Well, you know what they say... A Saiyan gets stronger every time he comes...
"HHHHHMMMMMMM!?"
GOKU: (yawns again) ...back from the brink of death.
"Oh, thank god!" The adults were relieved.
"I don't get it," Wendy and Romeo were confused by everyone's concerns.
"We'll explain when you're older!" Macao, Carla, and Mira answered.
"Frosch doesn't get it either," Frosch looked at Rogue.
"Uh...I'll explain it when you're older," Rogue quickly answered.
KRILLIN: Well, where is she now?
(cut to Chi-Chi in the other room looking through a cabinet)
GOKU: She's looking for something in the other room.
CHI-CHI: (thinking) Come on, I know we had another bottle of it somewhere around here! I will use canola oil if I have- (gets hit in the head by a flying book) Ow! (out loud) Damn ghosts!
"Hate it when ghosts randomly appear!" Millianna whined.
"W-When has that happened!?" Kagura looked frightened at the idea.
(cut back to Goku and Krillin)
KRILLIN: Then why don't you just...I don't know, strategically withdraw?
GOKU: No can do! She said she needs all of it!
"Levy says that same thing."
"GAJEEL!" Levy screeches, her face red.
"NO ONE NEEDS TO KNOW THAT!" Lucy yelled.
KRILLIN: I meant just disappear for a little bit to recharge your...batteries.
GOKU: Well, it is strategy... But we can't use the back door. Chi-Chi says I'm not allowed to anymore.
"I...I'm not sure how much more of this I could take…" Yukino covered her face, embarrassed.
(cut to Piccolo, Mr. Popo, and Trunks on the lookout)
KAMI: (referring to Trunks) (...You should talk to him.)
PICCOLO: (thinking) What? Why would I?
NAIL: (Because you could both use more friends.)
"All of Trunks' friends died," Happy said.
"You didn't have to remind us," Carla slapped him.
PICCOLO: (thinking) I am terrible at small talk.
KAMI: (And you're never going to get better unless you try. Now, go on.)
"Exactly! Get your antisocial butt out there!" Mira commanded.
PICCOLO: So, uh...
TRUNKS: Huh?
PICCOLO: ...Do you hate your dad?
"WHA-HOW-YOU-WHY ARE YOU SO BAD AT THIS!?" Mira screamed.
"Even Elfman wasn't that bad at talking to people," Lisanna shook her head.
"Yeah, but Laxus still is," Mira added, snickering.
"WHAT WAS THAT!?" Laxus yelled at her.
TRUNKS: Uh...
KAMI: (Wow... You were not wrong.)
PICCOLO: (thinking) See?!
TRUNKS: Eh, you know, I wouldn't say I hate him... I guess I'm mostly just disappointed. He's the single most frustrating man I've ever met! Heh, but you know dads, right?
"Yup," Majority of the mages agreed with the Future Warrior.
PICCOLO: Goku killed mine.
"To be fair, yours was evil," Levy said.
"And Vegeta isn't?" Lily looks at her.
"I'd say he's more of an anti-hero than villain," Levy answered.
TRUNKS: Oh! Jeez, uh, sorry, I...
NAIL: (Oh, perfect! He's just as bad as you are!)
"When you remember how he grew up, it makes sense," Gajeel said.
(Goku pops in with Gohan and Krillin)
GOKU: Please tell me nobody here wants a piece of me.
TRUNKS: Uh, well, when dad's out of the chamber, he'll probably want a swing at you.
GOKU: ...I knew it!
"NOT LIKE THAT!"
GOHAN: Why did you bring us both along?
GOKU: Because if your mother questioned you, you'd talk.
"If Erza questioned any of us, we'd talk," Gray said. All of the Fairies agreed with him, nobody likes lying to Erza.
GOHAN: Yeah, I would...
KRILLIN: So, Piccolo, how was the Time Chamber?
PICCOLO: I don't want to talk about it.
"He went crazy," Lisanna answered.
KRILLIN: Yeah, probably not gonna bother going in myself. At this point, either you guys can beat Cell or you can't. No use risking my life without the reset button on hand!
"Krillin finally realized that it just isn't worth continuously getting his ass kicked at this point," Macao smiled.
"At this point it really is just 'Leave it to the Saiyans'," Freed said.
GOHAN: Wow! I hadn't even thought about that! We live in a world without DragonBalls now!
TRUNKS: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah! That sounds terrible! I'm so sorry!
GOHAN: It's alright! We'll manage!
TRUNKS: ...I can't be mad at you.
"It's really hard to be mad at him," Mira said.
"I find it pretty easy," Laxus shrugged.
"I will curse you!" Mira glared at him.
GOKU: I don't get it. Why can't you just make us some new DragonBalls, Piccolo?
PICCOLO: Because, Goku, I'm from the Warrior Clan, Kami was from the Dragon Clan! One punches people, the other makes DragonBalls.
"Wait, but weren't you two the same person?" Levy asked, while writing that information down.
GOHAN: Wait, but, you two come from the same perso-
PICCOLO: So, if you want DragonBalls, you need another Namekian.
KRILLIN: What about New Namek? I bet there's a whole gaggle of Namekians who can make us a new set!
PICCOLO: We'd have to find New Namek first, and who knows where that is? (Goku pops out) Also, "gaggle"?
"It's Krillin. Are we really gonna question it?" Lucy asked.
KRILLIN: Well, what would you call them? A pod of Namekians? A pride?
PICCOLO: A cornucopia. What do you call a group of humans?
MR. POPO: An infestation.
...Well that unsettled everyone in the room...
PICCOLO: Point is, without a Namekian from the Dragon Clan, we aren't getting any DragonBal- (Goku pops in with a terrified, squealing Dende)
"DENDE!" All of those who saw the Namek saga were happy to see the little guy again.
GOKU: Is this a Dragon-whatsit?
DENDE: WHERE AM I?! WHO ARE YOU?! WHERE'S MY FAMILY?! (sees Gohan accompanied with some sexy music and immediately calms right down) Hey.
"Seems his crush hasn't gone away," Juvia giggled.
(cut to Perfect Cell talking to the reporter about his origins)
PERFECT CELL: And so it turns out, he was an alien the whole time!
"Wait...has it been telling the reporter the story of the Z-Fighters?" Lucy asked.
REPORTER: Whoa! I did not see that coming!
PERFECT CELL: Right? So, two more Saiyans show up a year later-
"And that confirms it. This entire time Cell's been telling him the entire story up to this point," Levy said.
"Then doesn't that mean that the girl and boy from the start were Goku and Bulma. Since, Bulma's known him the longest?" Wendy asked.
"If so then that means that Bulma shot Goku in the face with a gun."
"Why doesn't that surprise me?"
REPORTER: Wait, what about Goku's brother?
PERFECT CELL: Oh, he died. Anyway, enter Vegeta. Now, *laughs* strap yourself in for THIS cartoon character…
"Couldn't describe that jackass better myself!" Minerva laughed.
(cut to inside Capsule Corp. laboratory with Dr. Briefs working on 16 and Bulma on the computer)
BULMA: Hey, Dad? Can you come take a look at this?
DR. BRIEFS: What is it, pumpkin? Find Gero's porn stash?
"What kind of porn do you think he looks at?" Sting asked.
"Why are you asking me that question?" Rogue looked disgusted.
BULMA: No! I mean, ugh, maybe? I found this hidden folder... It was completely inaccessible to him, and it's full of incomplete and corrupted files, but there's one undamaged video here...
DR. BRIEFS: Well, then, open her up! Also, five thousand Zeni says it's interracial?
BULMA: Ugh.
DR. BRIEFS: Oh, now you find it gross!
"What you have in mind is gross. What Bulma experienced was love!" Juvia retorted.
(Bulma opens the file and it shows a silhouetted man)
?: May 12th, 750, 4:30 P.M. Red Ribbon H.Q.
Everyone paused and took a minute to analyze the silhouette in the video. It looked familiar...almost too familiar.
"Doesn't that look like 16?" Wendy asked.
"It looks EXACTLY like 16," Lisanna answered.
BULMA: Wait, why does that date sound familiar?
?: Hey, Dad! I, uh, I'm here at headquarters, getting everything put away. No bunkmate, so, room to myself. Which is good for a guy my size... (laughs quietly) Well, uh, I just wanted to, you know, record something for you, since you and Uncle Frappe are busy building robot guys and stuff. I know you're calling them "artificial humans" now, but...that name is way too long. I mean, what about cyborgs? Like from that movie we saw? Hmm. Well, uh, just wanted you to know that I, uh, miss you, Dad.
"Dad...wait...HOLY SHIT!" Levy almost flew out of her seat.
"What's wrong?" Gajeel asked her.
16 is Gero's son!" Levy told them.
"WHAT!?"
?: (alarm sounds) What the..?
SOLDIER: Hey! Get your ass moving! Something's tearing its way through the compound! We gotta go!
GOKU: (faintly in background) KA ME HA ME…
Erza's eyes widened in horror. "...Is that…?"
?: Uh... Okay, sorry about this, Dad. Gotta run! Love you! Good luck with your cyborgs-
GOKU: (faintly in background) HA!
(the video cuts out and goes static)
Everyone sat in stunned silence after the video ended, absolutely shocked by the new discovery that was revealed.
"That...that explains it…" Levy began speaking. "It explains everything Gero has done. Why he went and created 7 Deadly Androids plus Cell just to kill one single man. Goku killed his son."
"He was a father mourning the loss of his son and his desire for revenge drove him crazy," Makarov sighed, understanding the mad scientist.
"Does this make Goku a bad guy?" Wendy asks.
"Of course not!" Natsu disagreed. "Goku may have done something bad, but that doesn't mean he's a bad guy!"
"Exactly, you have to remember that the Red Ribbon Army was an evil organization, like a dark guild. Goku and his friends defeated them for a reason, but who would have guessed that his actions all those years ago would have such disastrous consequences…" Erza tightened her fist.
"While we may be able to sympathize with Gero, that doesn't excuse his senseless and reckless need for genocide. His creations being too powerful to stop and basically wiping out the human race in Trunks' timeline. His desire for revenge has doomed the entire world and maybe even the universe. He was a tragic man, but not a good one," Jellal explained.
It took a while for everyone to gather themselves back together to resume finishing the episode.
BULMA: (turns around and looks at 16) ...Jesus.
DR. BRIEFS: Yeah, that's a hell of a bomb to drop.
BULMA: Oh! That reminds me... I also found this. (brings up a new screen showing a bomb hidden in 16's chest)
"Does all of his creations have a freaking bomb!?" Bickslow yelled.
"I think they were just in cases of the androids being incapable of beating Goku. If you can't kill him in a fight, then just blow him up," Freed said.
DR. BRIEFS: Huh... At least Gero was consistent.
BULMA: ...By the way, you owe me five thousand Zeni.
DR. BRIEFS: Ah, daughter of a bastard!
"At least he's aware," Evergreen muttered.
(cut back to The Lookout)
PICCOLO: And that's why we need you, Dende.
DENDE: Okay, let me just clarify what has happened. (referring to Goku) That asshole...
GOKU: (off-screen) Name's Goku!
"No he was correct," Minerva said.
DENDE: ...literally kidnapped me from across the entire galaxy, with neither my knowledge or consent. Just so you could make me mystic you up a new set of DragonBalls, because you are all a cavalcade of f**k-ups. Did I miss anything?
"No...no you pretty much summed up everything about them," Gajeel said.
PICCOLO: Well, we missed you...
DENDE: Good. No, great, that's great! And what do I get out of this? Gonna make me your king?
KRILLIN: Well, can't do that. King's a dog. But we can make you God, though!
DENDE: The f**k's a God? I mean, the f**k's a dog?! I mean, what the f**k?!
"Namekians don't have Gods?" Romeo asked.
"They have a Guru," His Dad answered.
MR. POPO: As the creator of the DragonBalls, you shall assume the throne of Kami, guardian of this planet. Nobody is thankful, there are no days off, and no one ever visits.
DENDE: Ugh, sounds like being a parent. Fine! I graciously accept the position of your almighty God.
"LITTLE GREEN GOD!" Natsu and Happy danced.
TRUNKS: So then you'll help us?
DENDE: No, bowlcut! I'm going to help Gohan. Speaking of whom...lovin' the new 'do, Gohan. Rockin' that blonde!
GOHAN: Oh! Uh, thanks! Super Saiyan style, you know?
DENDE: De-hee-lightful! And, uh, have you been hitting the gym? 'Cause, uh... *whistles*
"As adorable as the crush is, I doubt Gohan returns his feelings," Lisanna said.
"I doubt Gohan even understands whatever signals Dende is sending him," Lucy added.
PICCOLO: (off-screen) Ow!
DENDE: That hurt me more than it hurt you!
PICCOLO: Okay, I'm all for awkward reunions, but we are on a timetable here. How long will it take to make a new dragon?
DENDE: Uh, depends. Do you have the original sculpture around?
MR. POPO: (hands Dende a sculpture of Shenron) Here it is. We were using it as a paperweight. Which reminds me. We'll need to go over the contract later.
"There's a contract?" Levy raised an eyebrow.
DENDE: Wow, that's your dragon? Our dragon would literally wear him like a scarf! Okay, before I get started, any alterations?
PICCOLO: Can we get three wishes?
DENDE: Not if you want multi-res! I can give you two, though.
"It's better than one," Kagura shrugged.
PICCOLO: Seems like an...awkward number.
DENDE: It's a magical wish-granting dragon, Nail!
"I wonder if he can sense Kami inside of Piccolo?" Freed wondered.
DENDE: I don't make the rules! Now...let us begin. (holds out both hands over the sculpture)
KRILLIN: Man, all this lore we're learning today! And we even get to see a new dragon being made! This is gonna be awe-
DENDE: Hey, dragon! Wake the f*** up! It's already past noon, get your life together! (a light erupts from the sculpture, which splits into seven streams and flies off from The Lookout, with one of them being seen landing on a stone, turning it back into a DragonBall) By the way, two wishes means I had to nix immortality. Better that way-nobody pulling anymore of that Freeza shit.
"Immortality is overrated anyway," Natsu remembered his brother.
GOHAN: Huh, I wonder if that'll upset Vegeta? Wait, did you say he's still in the chamber?
TRUNKS: Yeah, why?
GOHAN: It's been three days!
"Ohhhh...this is not good…"
MR. POPO: Oh. I muted the time dilation in the chamber. One day out here is now one day in there.
GOHAN: You can do that? Why did you do that?
MR. POPO: Because f**k 'im.
"Vegeta really pissed him off with those comments from before," Sting said.
"I would also like to think it's because it's Vegeta," Lily said.
"I find this absolutely hilarious!" Minerva laughed.
"Agreed," Laxus and Gajeel said.
DENDE: You really like screwin' with people, don't-cha?
MR. POPO: Hmm. Of course, his first mistake was going in alone.
PICCOLO: Why, is that bad?
"Technically you weren't alone," Mira said.
(cut to inside the Hyperbolic Time Chamber)
VEGETA: (losing his mind from being alone in the chamber for three days) They called me crazy... They all called me crazy for letting him achieve his perfect form! Well, guess what? I'm gonna get out of here, I'm going to be so much stronger! NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO STOP ME! ESPECIALLY CELL! RIGHT, NAPPA?! (shows a volleyball with a crude drawing of Nappa's face on it holding on a broom which falls down) How... HOW DARE YOU?! (screams and turns Super Saiyan) (cut to him exiting the chamber all bloody with his clothes tattered) ...Showed him.
"He absolutely lost his mind within three days," Freed sweat dropped.
"I like to think he lost it within 30 minutes of the first day," Bickslow said.
(cut to Perfect Cell STILL talking to the reporter about his origins)
PERFECT CELL: So after everything, he just starts crying!
REPORTER: Wow. Like a bitch!
PERFECT CELL: And that's what Freeza said! Before he killed him. But, sadly, Vegeta does come back.
"WAIT! VEGETA CRIED LIKE A BITCH AND I MISSED IT!?" Minerva cried out.
REPORTER: DragonBalls, right. By the way, does the fat green one come back? 'Cause he's funny.
PERFECT CELL: *scoffs* I wish!
"No more Super Kami Guru," Romeo sighed.
(cut to Goku's house)
GOKU: Hey, Chi-Chi. Please don't be upset, but...
CHI-CHI: (sweetly) What is it, sweetheart?
GOKU: I'm throwing in the towel. I am tapped. Like, boned dry. You know in those cartoons where the guy in the desert finds a faucet, and it just comes out like, PFFFFF! (dust comes out his mouth) That is me. That is my balls. And speaking of balls, I need to go find the dragon's.
CHI-CHI: Oh, Goku, darling, that's fine! I took a test this morning. I'm already pregnant!
"OH MY GOD! SHE KEPT HER WORD!" Lucy yelled.
"When are you gonna keep yours, Lucy?" Cana teased.
"SHUT UP!" Lucy blushed, remembering Natsu's proposal.
Erza's mind went back into processing the new information she had remembered, she noticed that nobody else had come to the same conclusion she had. And she hoped that she remained the only one.
GOKU: ...HOW?
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HOW!?"
(cut to inside Capsule Corp. laboratory with Bulma working on 16's cranial structure)
DR. BRIEFS: So I told him, "Pull your pants up, man! I'm not that kind of doctor!"
(Goku pops in)
GOKU: Bulma! Sex makes babies! (baby Trunks coos)
"IT DOES!?" Natsu shouted, absolutely shocked.
"YOU ASKED ME THAT FUCKING QUESTION AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!" Lucy wanted to kill him.
BULMA: ...I'm well aware.
GOKU: Also, I need the Dragon Radar.
BULMA: Tool cabinet in the back, third drawer.
GOKU: (checks the cabinet and grabs the Dragon Radar) Awesome! Bee-tee-dubs, we have DragonBalls again. Bye!
BULMA: Wait, we didn't have DragonBalls?!
"Guess she didn't know that," Levy shrugged.
(Goku pops out, and after a pause, Bulma goes back to work on 16. Goku suddenly pops back in.)
GOKU: Oh, and Chi-Chi's pregnant!
BULMA: Oh, my God! Congratulations!
Lucy continued to glare at Natsu, while the Fire Dragon Slayer apologized repeatedly.
(cut to Dende, Gohan, and Krillin on The Lookout)
GOHAN: (while working on his homework) Okay, so Article Five says that atrocities can and will be committed in your name, but you can't do anything about it.
DENDE: Awesome. But, question: Do I have to answer ALL of these prayers?
"No," Laxus answered.
GOHAN: Well technically, you don't have to answer any of them.
DENDE: Thank God! Or, I guess I should start saying...me!
GOHAN: That does raise the question... Which do you prefer? Kami, God, or Dende?
DENDE: Oh, Gohan... (narrows his eyes) ...you can call me whatever you like!
"I'll just call you Little Gre-" Natsu was bonked on the head by a large book. "What the!?" He looked around for who had hit him. He was confused when he saw that everyone else was also confused.
MR. POPO: Well, I'm going to call you Little Green.
DENDE: Your funeral.
MR. POPO: (literally cracks a smile) I like you.
"Aw! Popo found a new friend!" Lisanna smiled.
"I don't think we should be happy about that…" Elfman told his little sister.
KRILLIN: Don't feel bad, Mr. Popo. I'm his best friend, so that means only I can call him Little Green. Right, Little Gree- (Dende smacks him in the face with a cane) OOH!
DENDE: You will call me Dende! DENDE! SAY IT! SAY MY NAME...
KRILLIN: (terrified) Dende! Dende!
DENDE: No... (grins evilly and looks up) Super Kami Dende.
Almost everyone backed away afraid, now seeing as to why Natsu couldn't call Dende by Little Green.
[ENDING SEQUENCE]
[STINGER]
(cut to Perfect Cell finishing up his story to the reporter)
PERFECT CELL: So, after I finished humiliating the entire Saiyan royal bloodline, I made my newsroom debut, delivered my immaculate address, and now, here we are. Any more questions?
REPORTER: Yeah, um, were the parts about Fake Namek and that Maron girl really necessary to the story?
PERFECT CELL: It's called worldbuilding.
"More like a pain in my ass," Gajeel muttered.
REPORTER: Right! ...Um, last question: how did you know about the parts you weren't there for?
"Which was the vast majority of that story," Levy said.
PERFECT CELL: Ah, that's a story for another time, I'm afraid! But for now, I must bid you adieu.
REPORTER: Oh. Well, thank you for your time, Perfect Cell.
(Perfect Cell frowns and fires a finger beam at the reporter, who screams)
PERFECT CELL: Mr. Perfect Cell.
"Shouldn't have gotten comfortable," Gildarts shakes his head.
Chapter End
NOTE: GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO! GO BROLY GO GO!
I bet you're all wondering what's next, right?