Disclaimer: I don't own Divergent.
Tobias hits the net.
It curls around him, wrapping him in strong threads. A few Dauntless members beckon to him from the edge, but for several seconds, he doesn't respond. Finally he blinks and looks up, shaking his head a little, as if clearing away the fogginess of sleep. He hooks his fingers in the net and drags himself toward the Dauntless.
He lands on his feet on the wooden platform, and Max is there to aggressively pump his hand up and down and welcome him to his new faction. Every other initiate's already jumped. They huddle around Max and observe the exchange, curiosity in their eyes, like this lone Abnegation transfer is some unexplained anomaly.
Eric can't help feeling embarrassed for his friend. Not only was he the last jumper, every single person in the room was watching when he fainted from fear. Did Tobias notice when Max turned around and briefly eyed his fellow leaders, his eyebrow and the corner of his mouth lifting in amusement?
If Tobias did, he's not gonna show it. Good for him. His legs seem to be working again, the familiar look of defiance resurfacing. He takes his place among the initiates, right next to Eric.
From there, the formal introductions begin. As formal as the Dauntless usually get, anyway. The two initiation instructors are Amar and Lauren. Amar's in charge of transfers, while Lauren's going to train the Dauntless-born initiates. Initiation will be divided into three parts, the first primarily physical, the second primarily emotional, and the third primarily mental. At the end of each stage, the ones who fail to earn the required scores will be cut.
This one gutsy Candor-born raises his hand and asks what'll happen if he's cut. Amar answers, without missing a beat, that he'll go live with the factionless. That shuts him up.
Lauren jokes that, in the beginning, the Dauntless-born initiates and transfers have to separate, so the former won't break the latter in half right away. Zeke and his friends grin at this, but irritation swells inside Eric. If some kid his age is going to doubt him for being a transfer, he'll show them why it's never a good idea to underestimate an Erudite.
Idiot, you're a Dauntless now. Quit talking like a Nose!
Next thing Eric knows, he and Tobias are following Amar into a yawning tunnel with rock walls. The whole of the Dauntless compound is underground. Entering it feels like voluntarily getting swallowed by a cavernous mouth, one belonging to a Lovecraftian beast with rocks for flesh.
But that's nothing compared to standing before the chasm. It's located at the heart of the compound, in the space they call the Pit. There's a railing, made of steel, that's always chilly and damp from the continuous spray. Then there's the river below. The foamy water is never not in motion, never not rearing its terrifying head, never not spitting on the railing with its impossibly wide maw.
Eric thinks it resembles a shapeshifter. Like at any moment, it could suck you in and eat you alive, and your corpse would never be found. You'd get pulled down into the endless depths, where you'd be submerged for the rest of time.
Is a shudder running through Eric because of the cold, or from the anxiety that's about to overtake him? He is feeling scared. A little. But no way will he let his instructor or the other transfers know.
Instead, he reaches out with one hand, clutching at Tobias' arm. Everyone will think he's giving a lifeline to his friend, who's afraid of heights. In reality, he's trying to reassure himself.
At last Amar releases the initiates to go to dinner. Eric scuttles away from the edge as quickly as he can without seeming desperate. One thing he's learned, there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy. Anyone would be brave to stand so close to the roaring waters of the chasm, but he'll be damned if he ever shows weakness in front of the Dauntless again.
Amar walks us over to the initiates' table once we're in the dining hall. A few Dauntless members already sit at the surrounding tables, staring at the other side of the room, where pierced and tattooed cooks are setting out the food. The hall's basically a cavern lit from beneath by blue-white lamps, giving everything an eerie glow.
I plop down in one of the empty chairs. I'm completely drained of energy, and I didn't even realize it until now, when all the adrenaline's gone from my body.
Eric slides into the seat to my left. On my right is the girl from Amity. What's her name again? I'm pondering this when suddenly, she smiles broadly at me.
"Can I sit here?" she asks, her voice radiating warmth. I nod at her, and she takes a seat. "My name's Mia," she introduces herself. "You feeling okay?"
I'm just about to reply when the big Candor kid butts in. It's the same guy who harassed me on the rooftop. "Looks like he's trying not to throw up," he snarks.
"Just let it happen, man," his buddy, also a Candor, adds. "We'd love to see a show."
I see Eric's mouth move, maybe to spit out a good comeback. What I do next makes everyone pause, including my best friend. "Dude, shut up," I say to the hecklers.
I'm pleasantly surprised when they do. Guess they haven't been told to shut up by many of the Abnegation.
We all get down to eating, and I savor the taste of the meal, something I've always been discouraged from doing. In my old faction, food items are plain and taste like dust and paste. Better not to let the citizens take selfish pleasure in anything, or so the Abnegation leaders say. Dauntless food is the complete opposite. The flavor seems enhanced somehow. The sauce on my burger is tangy and spicy, and the chocolate frosting on my slice of cake is almost nauseatingly sweet.
I'm just about done with my meal when I spot Amar leaving through the cafeteria doors. I have a sudden epiphany. He and Tori are the only ones I've met in Dauntless who know my real name. It's up to me to make sure nobody else learns it.
Without saying a word to Eric or Mia, I get up out of my seat. Then I dash toward the doors.
"Toby, where're you…" Behind me, Eric's voice quickly fades. I exit the dining hall through the doorway. Almost immediately, I find myself in a vast maze of stone.
My heart thumps as I look at my surroundings. I'm hit with the sinking feeling that I'm lost. But just then, I catch a quick glimpse of Amar rounding a corner in the distance, and I know where I'm supposed to walk. I only hope I won't be too slow.
"Toby, where're you going?" Eric decides right then to follow Tobias. He stands and makes a beeline for the door. At the same time, Mia stands too, probably to dump her tray. She crashes right into Eric, the leftover sauce on her plate spilling down the front of his brand-new black denim jacket.
"Oh!" Mia's mouth drops open. "I'm so sorry." Smiling sheepishly, she gathers her remaining napkins and tries to scrub the stains off Eric's clothes.
Eric's temporarily stunned. It's only when Mia presses a hand to his chest that he finally remembers how to speak. "No, it's fine," he tells her.
He doesn't know why he just said that. What happened was not okay. If it had been one of those Candor guys, they'd have gotten socked in the mouth. Hell, if it had been Tobias, Eric would've emptied his glass of water onto the former's shirt. In jest, of course. He would've said something like, "There. Now you're forgiven, asshole."
So why'd he say it was okay to Mia, a complete stranger? Can't possibly be because she's a pretty girl. Though she is. She's real cute. Short and petite, with curly black hair and a wide, gap-toothed smile.
Duh. It's because of her ex-faction. Girls from Amity tend to be caring and approachable, unlike the really prissy girls from Erudite. And while Eric's usually turned off by their excessively chatty nature, for some reason this girl doesn't bother him at all.
Now I'm lost.
Terrific, I think. I peer down the dark corridor, wishing I had more light to see by. But this is Dauntless, where no one's supposed to need assistance of any kind. Not even a flashlight.
My idea to corner Amar seems kind of stupid now. But the alternative is far worse. I picture the looks on the faces of the two Candor guys, in the event they find out Marcus used to hit me. I imagine rumors starting and spreading all the way to the Dauntless-born initiates' side of the dorm.
No, it won't be the end of the world as I know it. But Dauntless is a place where your reputation precedes you.
So I keep walking. The hall is partially lit, allowing me to make out the doors of an elevator at the very end. This must be where Amar went.
I push the button to go up. It glows red and sets off a loud ding.
Here I go, I think. This is only step one before I completely remake myself. And here, I won't need to wait for Marcus to approve. I'm free here. I can refuse to give my name, or even give a fake name. I'm free to snap at people and free to argue back and free even to lie.
What'll my new name be? I don't know yet. For now, I have an emergency meeting to go to.
Eric told her it was fine. He insisted, even as the leftover sauce continued to drip from the fabric of his clothing. But Mia, like most from her ex-faction, is one who always tries to rectify the situation.
"No, it's not," she says emphatically. "Look at your jacket." And then, pointing to Eric's chest, "It's all messed up, 'cause of me."
Eric shrugs off his jacket and gathers the soiled fabric in his fist. "It's no big deal," he assures her. "I'll take it down to the cleaners…"
He turns away and heads for the exit, a new destination in mind. That's when Mia rests a hand on his arm. "No, no. Let me take care of it," she says. "I'll pay."
Eric stops and looks at her. Is she truly eager to help? Her appeal sounds a lot like those after-school specials produced by Johanna Reyes. Cloying, overly sweet, with nothing to offer below surface level. Eric isn't totally sure, but there's something sincere in her voice.
I guess I'll see, he thinks, turning so he's facing her. Who knows? They could be friends one day. Or something other than friends…
"Come on, come on," I mutter to myself, my fingers tapping rhythmically against the railing in the elevator. "Come on, faster." The car slowly shoots upward, leaving the darkness of the cavern behind.
If my last-minute plan actually works, no one other than Eric will ever call me "Tobias Eaton" again. No one will refer to me as "Marcus Eaton's son" ever again.
The other initiates might remember my name, but vaguely. They remember mine the way I remember theirs, just letters in an alphabet, buried beneath a nervous haze as they anticipated their choice. If I strike at their memories as hard as I can, become as memorable as my Dauntless self as possible, I can probably save myself.
Eric's still standing before Mia, one foot in the puddle of red that's accumulated on the floor. Now he shakes his head, refusing her help. "Not a chance, Amity," he says, smiling a little. "Can't let you waste your money. That wouldn't be kind."
While he's saying this, Mia sticks one hand in her purse and emerges with a shiny black card. Eric grasps Mia's wrist and maneuvers it downward, forcing her to put the card back.
He half expects the girl to push even harder. But she doesn't. She teases him right back instead. "Use your brain, Erudite. A smart guy wouldn't spend anything on me." With a giggle, she frees her wrist and reaches into her purse again. Once she has her card out, she strides past Eric on her way to the door.
"You wanna bet?" Eric tosses back. He goes chasing after her, laughing the entire way.
Mia spins around briefly to say, "I sure do!" Then she crosses through the doorway, Eric on her heels. She moves so fast Eric doesn't even have time to question why the hell he's pursuing some girl from Amity, and what this says about him.
"Amar!" When the elevator doors open, I'm able to see my new instructor. I hurry to intercept him, before he can duck into his office.
"Sorry, but it's urgent," I say. "Could you do me this one favor?"
He's confused, but receptive. I let him know what I need him to do. The part that fills me with trepidation? He'll want a good reason for doing it, and I'll have to give it to him.
I'll have to show him what Marcus did to me. No different than if I'd chosen Candor, and been forced to skin myself alive.
When the moment arrives, and Amar's questioning gaze practically drills a hole into my head, I tense up. Every nerve in my body feels like it's been stuck with a hot poker. Still, I go ahead and reveal to Amar my deepest, darkest secrets. That I grew up with an abusive parent, that I never could report the abuser because of his position, that I don't fully belong here just yet, because I'm really not that strong.
Then, my hands trembling, I lift up the back of my shirt, exposing the lumpy scars on my skin. The proof of Marcus' violence. Proof that I had reason to fear the lash of the belt, so much so that I fled Abnegation.
I look away after I'm done explaining. I don't want Amar to see me cry.
Finally, after a lengthy silence, I dare to look up. Amar's smiling a little bit. There is some pity in that smile, but not as much as I thought there'd be.
He holds the door to his office open, letting me inside. A few minutes later, I'm seated before the computer on his desk, staring at the screen. The roster of initiates is about to pop up.
What'll my new name be?
Dammit. I still don't know.
"Okay, okay!" Mia puts both her hands up in a mock gesture of surrender. "We'll split the bill."
"Sounds fair." Eric smiles at her, and it's entirely real. It took no time at all for them to find the laundromat. Now they just have to wait for Eric's jacket to finish cleaning.
In the pause that follows, Eric has nothing to do but look at Mia. Now he feels compelled to say this to her. "Anyone ever tell you? You're really cute."
The regret is instant when he sees Mia's baffled expression. "Shit. I didn't mean that…"
Mia bursts out laughing. "No!" she almost screams. Realizing how loud she's being, she stops. Clears her throat, then composes herself. "I mean, thank you. You're so sweet."
A blush explodes over Eric's cheeks. His lips part, but no sound comes out. Mia's compliment pleased him more than he's going to admit.
If Mia can detect this in his face, she doesn't let him know. She just lowers herself onto a pile of laundry and sits there, her chin in the palm of her hand, so she and Eric are eye to eye.
"Are you liking it here so far?" she asks. Eric nods.
"Yeah," he replies.
Mia winks. "Better than going to an elite private school?" she teases.
Eric gives her a knowing smile. "Better than spending six hours a day just looking at test papers," he tells her. She cracks up.
"Oh, crap!" she yelps, pretending to be floored. Or maybe she really is flummoxed by whatever's considered normal in Erudite. Her lips spread into a grin. "Then it's good that you left."
Eric chuckles a little at that. But he doesn't want Mia to learn this much about him, at least not without some reciprocation. "How 'bout you?" he asks her. "What made you bail on peace and love?"
Suddenly distracted, Mia stares at her own painted fingernails. "Oh… it's kinda complicated," she begins. "There was this one time, a guy tried to get me in bed with him. I told him no, that I wasn't interested." Her mouth puckers a bit. "Then he said I owed him, 'cause he was always nice to me. I was like, that makes no sense." She buries her face in one of her palms, either because her peace has been disturbed, or she's in complete disbelief. Or both. "But every adult I talked to agreed with him."
"They did that to you, and you didn't kick the shit out of them?" Eric's shaking his head, he doesn't know how people can be this stupid. "You got more self-control than me."
Mia shrugs. "That, and I was taught to always keep the peace. It's why I transferred here." She tries to find the right words. "I need to… unlearn all of that. Become a blank slate all over again."
Like you, too, a voice in Eric's head says.
"That's the only way I can become who I was meant to be," continues Mia. "If I'm not following those rules that I picked up in my childhood. I mean, that were beaten into me since childhood…" She laughs in an attempt to break the tension. But Eric can still feel it.
Yeah. That's you, too.
He never related this much to a random girl from another faction. But that's the thing, Mia isn't just some random girl. They have more in common than he anticipated. Talking with her made him feel the same way he did seven years ago, when he and Tobias met and immediately bonded.
Oh, yeah, he thinks. This is just the start of what could become a great friendship. And another reason to feel sure that he chose right, when he chose Dauntless.
There it is. Spelled out on the screen, in letters that seem conspicuously big. Tobias E. The last link between me and Marcus Eaton.
But it isn't for much longer. With a few clicks of the mouse, Amar erases my real name from the roster. Then he asks, casually, what I'm going to call myself from now on.
The wheels in my brain begin to spin. Yet they don't land on anything good. I know those Dauntless who have nicknames usually select something tough-sounding, like "Blade" or "Killer". To me, though, that just sounds gimmicky. If I'm going to adopt a new identity, I'll need one that's guaranteed to stick.
So what do I tell Amar? After thinking on it for several seconds, I blurt out the name of Katherine's son, "Katherine" being the lady from Erudite who taught me about computers. Thomas. That's my new name.
Yeah. I'm a complete idiot. But in my defense, I hadn't been granted enough time to decide.
Amar doesn't give me any weird looks, thankfully. He just smiles and nods and types the name into the roster. Once he hits Enter, it's official.
Thomas E. My new identity is set in stone. I will never be Tobias again.
Except to one person.
"Well, good luck," Eric says to Mia, once she's done telling him her life story. "I have a feeling you're gonna crush it."
"Thank you," Mia says, beaming. She suddenly gets this sneaky look on her face, like she just got caught saying something explicit. "I…" She hides her grin behind her hand. "I like you, Eric."
Before he can even process this, Eric's already responding. "Same for you," he tells her.
Mia's grin stretches wide. "Wanna get the bed next to me?" she jokes. As much as he doesn't want to, Eric reacts with discomfort. "Okay, let's not go that fast…"
Mia nearly shrieks with laughter. Eric grumbles to himself at first, then, slowly, he manages a smile, too.
"Where were you?" I hear Eric say from the far end of our dorm. He's unpacking his few belongings and putting them away, just like I'm doing now. The bed I picked is fairly close to his, but not close enough that other people might comment on it.
"Upstairs," I tell him. "Got a name change. From here on out, you're the only one who can say I'm Marcus Eaton's son."
I divulge the details of my private talk with Amar, what I convinced him to do, and what my name is now. I'm actually holding back tears of joy, that's how happy I am at the results. Marcus Eaton was the devil I knew, having seemingly come from hell, but it's a special kind of heaven, having cut myself off from him.
Just as the lights click off, I show Eric where I hid the Ceramics-final sculpture. It's technically illegal to keep souvenirs from one's home faction, but I can't part with my last work of art. We get in our beds, and I whisper a prayer for the day to come.
"Night… Tobias," I hear from Eric's side of the room, then before I know it, I'm sound asleep.
AN: How'd you like this one? Do you think Eric and Mia will end up together? Leave a review and lemme know what you think!