Stuck in the Past

The golden candle light warmed the side of Korra's face and reflected a yellow tint in her eyes that made them look slightly green. She was still dressed for the conference having stopped by Air Temple Island to talk and visit Tenzin's kids before returning to the city.

Her fingers were twiddling as she listened to Tenzin's advice. He always had a way of saying what she didn't want to hear and yet exactly what she needed to hear.

"Do you believe Mako's decision to date Asami while you were away...influenced your decision to date her later on?"

Korra looked up at him lost in thought, she wanted to say no that was wrong, but truthfully. "I haven't thought of that before.." She whispered.

"But you had to have known how that would make him feel? Seeing the two of you together" Tenzin replied.

Korra bowed her head, "Yes" She whispered.

"So then, did you want to hurt him?"

"No!" Korra answered genuinely, her eyes shaking. "I wasn't using Asami to hurt him."

Tenzin nodded slowly, "Even though he hurt both of you?"

"I genuinely liked Asami, I was her friend for a year before we started dating and..Mako hurt us both so why not." Korra replied, letting her confession roll off her chest after years of feeling its weight.

Dating Asami wasn't purposely for revenge but knowing it was a symptom of it gave her a sick sense of relief. When she left for Winter Solstice, they promised to talk when she got back. Mako seemed genuinely remorseful for what he said and she was hopeful their time apart would cool things down. Long story short, it didn't.

"And I wanted Mako to just suck it up and deal with it. Deal with his guilt." Korra clenched her jaw. "I wanted him to see two women he had manipulated, happy...without him."

Korra bit her lip as a single tear fell down her cheek, "While arrogantly still wanting him to be my friend."

"And when he decided not too." Tenzin prompted.

"I realized I shouldn't feel that way, I pushed him away instead of confronting how badly we messed up. All three of us were hurt."

"So do you believe you have forgiven him?"

Korra looked at Tenzin with the utmost certainty, "Absolutely. He's apologized 100 times over, he's a completely changed person now, but it's Mako who hasn't forgiven himself."

She hugged her chest, "He doesn't think he deserves a second chance or a friend." Korra sighed.

Tenzin rubbed the side of his face awkwardly, "So with your current...relationship, What is your end goal?"

Korra shrugged, "I don't know...I just figured I'd see where this takes us? This is the closest we've been in years."

He nodded in understanding, "Just ponder where you want this to end, because eventually it will."

Later that evening after dinner and a last goodbye Korra left to check into her hotel reservation at Omashu Oasis. Kuvira, although intimidating had a good point. The commute was much shorter and she'd get to spend this business weekend with her friends.

Korra stood at the front desk still in her gown and waited patiently until she could go up stairs and rip it off. She smiled to the desk attendant as the professional checked her information.

For how late the evening was, the resort was bustling with many people coming to check in for the conference. Korra was thankful she was able to grab a reservation in time.

"Korra of the Southern Watertribe?"

"Yup, that's me"

She handed her an electronic hotel key, "suite 510."

Korra hesitated to take the room key, pulling her hand back abruptly. "Oh, I just wanted a standard room."

The receptionist glanced at her computer, reading it silently. "It says here it's been upgraded."

"At my request."

The water tribe heir turned around to see her uncle Unalaq standing behind her with two White Lotus guards flanking him. Once Korra noticed the guards were holding her luggage she had just dropped off to the bell-hop, she immediately knew what was happening.

"You will be in a suite that has limited access to common people."

Korra groaned inwardly, "With all due respect uncle, I'm perfectly safe here. I haven't had escorts in years this isreally not necessary-"

"As my only niece and heir to the southern tribe I won't allow any exceptions. Especially not with the amount of people that will be arriving this evening."

She rolled her eyes realizing that the only reason he was making this sudden precaution was because there will be Fire Nation representatives present. The way he turned his nose up in such disdain at the thought really dragged under Korra's skin in such an uneasy way. She really understood now why Mako was so against meeting her family. She was embarrassed to be related to such close-minded individuals.

"Very well," She muttered. Korra bit her tongue only because she knew defying her elder would only lead to more trouble and unnecessary drama.

She stormed away toward the elevator and slapped the button for the fifth floor. The White Lotus guards were ordered to follow her, staying right on her heels. Suddenly her phone vibrated in her pocket and she pulled it out to see a message from Mako.

When the elevator doors opened Korra stepped inside and the guards entered as well. She slyly glanced over her shoulder to make sure neither of them could read her text.

"Hey, what room will you be in?" Mako sent.

"Room 510!" Korra clicked her teeth.

"Damn, why the luxury?"

"Not my doing. -_- My uncle's bright idea."

"So I'm assuming sleepovers are out of the question?"

"Not if you're into people watching."

Her eyes flicked up to the guards once more, both stood straight with heads forward like good little pets.

"I'll pass..."

"Wait I might have an idea.."

The elevator stopped and a 'ding' chimed to let them know they had finally made it to the top floor. Korra put her phone away and crossed her arms over her chest. She turned on her heel and confronted the guards with a stern look on her face.

"Listen. I know you two are just doing your jobs but I'm an adult. I don't need babysitters, so let's strike us a little deal."

The two White Lotus looked to one another with skeptical eyes.

Mako put his phone down on his bedside table and rolled over on his back. The first long day of the conference was over and he went straight back to their hotel to rest. Staring up at the ceiling he let his mind drift and of course, a certain woman was the first thing to pop up in his head.

"I miss this." She said.

He was so conflicted! Their agreement was that this wasn't going to get personal. Just a carnal need. Yes he can get easily caught up too, but hearing her say that, and how it sounded so vulnerable really shook him up a bit. It caught him so off guard he almost said it back to her. He wanted to say it back, because it was true...

He clenched his jaw and looked back at his phone. Would it be wrong to talk to her about it? Are they too early in for another civil meeting?

Mako couldn't deny that she had gotten under his skin and made him feel emotions they both agreed not to have. She already had such a hold on him that he needed to be careful.

There was a knock on his door and he begrudgingly went to answer it.

"We need to talk" Bolin voiced as he walked into his brother's hotel room unannounced.

"Come on in." Mako said ironically. "What's up?"

"It's about Korra." Bolin replied abruptly, he didn't seem to be in a joking mood.

Mako panicked for a quick second at the mention of her name. It was only a few hours ago Bolin almost caught them in the act.

"W-what about her?" Mako replied nonchalantly. He walked over to his closet and began taking off his suit. His back was turned to Bolin out of fear he'd be able to read the nervousness on his face.

"She's noticed how you've been acting so cold around her, we talked the other week and it really seems like she wants to make amends."

Mako only nodded while he hung up his pressed coat. "Yeah it seems that way.."

"So what's your deal?" Bolin asked.

Mako turned to his little brother slightly and unbuttoned his cuffs, "Nothing, I'll admit I'm a bit awkward around her but that's a given. It's been years since-"

"Yes! It has been years bro. Korra still loves you-" Mako audibly scoffed, "As a friend.."Bolin added.

"Can you just try to be her friend? Can this weekend at least be the start of that? I'm tired of making excuses for you."

Mako paused and took a labored breath. If only his brother knew how close he actually was to Korra as of late.

"Bolin...I can promise you Korra and I are working it out."

His eyes drifted which signaled to Bolin that his statement wasn't entirely a lie.

"Why do I not believe you?" he spoke skeptically, "This coming from the guy who didn't even eat lunch with us today. You don't even like those guys in Bei-fong's academy!"

"I never said I didn't like them" Mako retorted.

Bolin only rolled his eyes, another excuse.

"I'm their department head I need to be more cordial with them."

"You need to be more cordial with Korra." Bolin snapped.

Ironic how him and Korra argued over this very thing the day after her drunken charade.

"I'll try to be less abrasive all right? That's all I can say."

Bolin clapped his hands together enthusiastically, "Thats all I ask!" He walked up to his brother and grabbed him by the shoulders, "I just want the Fire Ferrets back man! All of us!"

"Yeah yeah, don't get your hopes up." Mako shooed his hands away, "now get out I'm going to bed soon, we have an early wake up tomorrow."

"See ya at breakfast bro!" Bolin walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Right on cue he received another text from his Ex-with benefits.

"I'm coming down" Korra wrote.

Korra walked out of her suite after dressing in a more casual outfit of dark blue leggings, a heather-grey sweater, and black comfy boots. She closed her door and sent Mako a text that said she was heading his way. It was getting late but she felt the need to talk to him and perhaps do a few other things. She was free from her White Lotus nannies and wanted to enjoy her new-found freedom.

Turning around she jumped back at the sight of Kuvira standing before her.

"Oh! Kuvira! Hi!" She held her phone to her chest to hide her texts with Mako.

Seeing the elevator doors close and bell-hops holding Kuvira's things Korra realized she had just checked in as well. "You're on the fifth floor too?"

The woman dressed in black cargo pants, combat boots and an army green shirt looked her up and down curiously. "Yes, 504. So we're kinda neighbors." She chuckled.

They moved aside so that the others could walk passed to their rooms. Korra's gaze seemed to shift to anything and everything in the hallway that wasn't Kuvira. Her old friend could tell Korra seemed nervous. She actually thought it was pretty cute.

"I'm glad you were able to find a room" Kuvira said.

Korra groaned, "Yeah but I was not banking on it being a suite."

"Why is that? More privacy, free room service.."

"I just wanted to be closer to Bolin and my other friends... which now that I think about it is really just Bolin. Plus I don't really like feeling pampered." Korra replied.

"Well, I'm really glad we could all be together." Kuvira seemed happy and Korra realized this was probably the first home vacation she's had in a while.

"Yeah so am I," Korra smiled, "Like old times. Even if Mako is being a little sour."

"Mako. Right." Her eyes narrowed.

Korra froze with regret, she shouldn't have brought him up, especially not after her suspicions from earlier today.

"Yeah but you know him, all work and no play.." Korra added in an attempt to play things casually.

Kuvira seemed a little unsure, "Forgive me for probing but you and him are broken off right?"

"Yes. A long while ago and it never really worked out since. Then Asami broke up with me about a month ago so-"

"Asami Sato?" Kuvira interrupted, suddenly way more intrigued with that plot point.

"Yeah she and I were a thing." Korra replied cynically.

"Hm" Kuvira had her curiosities, but she never truly knew if Korra was into women romantically because when she left Republic City she was still dating Mako.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Her eyes lowered sincerely as she placed a delicate hand on Korra's shoulder.

"I'm over it..mostly, well not at all, but.. I'm surviving." Korra replied sarcastically.

Kuvira laughed, "You are a strong one," She stepped close enough Korra could smell her woodsy cologne.

"And if you ever need to take your mind off things, I can help with that." Her voice was just above the tone of a whisper, but still just as seductive.

Korra swallowed as the sentence she was thinking to say couldn't make it past her lips. Kuvira's eyes were such a sultry green she found herself gazing at them a lot longer than comfort. She didn't even realize her back was pressed again her door until the general leaned forward.

Korra backed away out of her sudden timidness and Kuvira took that as a clear sign she wasn't exactly ready for all of that yet. No worries on her part, she was a very patient woman.

"So where are you headed?" Kuvira asked.

"I-I was gonna check out the restaurant downstairs and grab a late dinner." Korra lied. She glanced at her phone to see it was about 9 at night. "Closes at midnight..s-so I should really get going."

Before Kuvira could offer to tag along Korra turned and practically ran to the elevator. She hit the little button and turned to wave goodbye, "Night!"

Kuvira smirked, "Goodnight Korra," she walked down the hall to room 504 as the elevator doors closed.

Korra signed in relief as the lift descended. Kuvira seemed to lay off her suspicions for now and all they needed to do was keep her off their scent.

Stepping out on the second floor Korra quickly jogged to Mako's room to avoid anyone seeing her. Bolin was also on this floor and the last thing she wanted was a repeat of earlier today.

The heiress knocked on Mako's door slightly annoyed he didn't answer her text. When he didn't reply she knocked on his door again with an impatient tap of her foot. She felt something smooth against the toe of her shoe and looked down to see his room key.

She bent down and picked it up, "Now what would you have done if someone else got to your door before I did?" She rolled her eyes at Mako's stupidity.

She swiped the plastic key card and entered his room quietly. As she closed his door she noticed he had most of the lights in his room off except for his bed side lamp that radiated a low golden hue throughout the room.

"Mako? Are you asleep?" She whispered.

She walked around to see his phone was on his dresser and night clothes laid out on his bed.

As she turned toward the bathroom she heard the shower water running.

"Oh" she breathed, he must have decided to take a shower when she told him she was on the way. Which also explains why his key was on the ground for her to let herself in.

Korra bit her lip as the thought to join him crossed her mind. Maybe he did that purposely?

Or maybe she should just wait for him to finish?

"Mmm" She hummed indecisively. Her eyes darted around his hotel room trying to find something that could occupy her time.

The more lavish part of herself couldn't help but wonder what he'd look like drenched in a steaming downpour and lathered in soap.

The image quickly becoming too tempting to deny she slowly and silently she began to disrobe. She dropped her shirt on the ground and took cautious steps around the corner toward his bathroom.

She pulled her shoes off and tossed them to the side knowing Mako would scold her for being so messy. Her leggings pooled around her ankles as she stepped out of those as well.

Further down the hall she went, hearing the water sound louder and louder with each step. She could almost feel the immense warmth the further she traveled to the door.

Korra stopped and lightly pressed her hand against the wooden barrier separating her from him. What if he gets mad? She bit her lip glancing down at her undergarments waiting to be discarded. If Mako didn't want her there he'd for sure let her know.

Mako tilted his head back under the steaming hot water and let the downpour rinse the shampoo from his hair. He ran his fingers threw his slick black locks and flattened it down the nape of his neck.

To his surprise he heard the sound of a gentle knock on the glass door.

He opened his eyes, wiping his face quickly to see Korra standing just on the other side.

His hazel eyes dragged over her shape, finding solace in her round hips, firm waist, and plump breasts. She stood silently waiting for him to invite her in. Her eyes were low and jaded as she gazed at him in a silent plea.

He was slightly in shock so it took a few seconds for his brain to catch up to what his body wanted him to do.

He opened the glass door and she stepped inside closing it behind her. The steam enveloped her body and the water began to dampen her skin, making it glisten in the dim amber light.

They slowly approached each other, eyes lingering on one another's lips. Korra slipped her hand behind his neck and brought his head down to her face.

As they began to kiss, the first brief moment of contact surprised Mako. Her soft lips felt almost like a euphoric hallucination. The many nightly dreams he's had of this very scenario played out in reality.

Slowly and thoughtfully, each press of their lips and tongue felt so needy yet sensual. Like they wanted to ravish eachother but decided to go slowly and build up the moment.

Korra leaned against his chest and shivered as their nude forms pushed together mimicking their mouths. Her nipples grazed his chest as she arched her back and he shivered in response.

The hot water warmed their skin as it began to fog the bathroom and shower walls. This all felt so surreal, like they were blanketed in a comforting lust.

"Mmh." Korra groaned, hugging Mako's faced closer to her own. She held him so tightly he could feel her desperation. However, this time felt different than earlier, it felt subtle in its nature, inviting.

Their kisses grew more ferocious as Korra's teeth dragged along his bottom lip. Mako took hold of her hips before sliding his palms around to her ass and squeezing the two mounds of flesh hard.

Korra quivered but didn't hold back in the slightest. She moved from his face to the dip in his neck where she began to kiss and bite. She could feel the rapid pace of his pulse as the blood shot through his veins.

Mako continued to palm her ass, pulling back and slapping them hard enough to make her jump. He knew if she wanted him to stop she would say something. Korra was definitely a woman who didn't mind a little pain.

"Mako.." she breathed.

He took that as a sign she wanted more than heated groping and weaved his hands around her jawline. He pulled her face up to him and kissed her again. This time rough and passionately. His tongue warred with hers inside their joined mouths.

Korra clawed into his back and moaned again. Her heart picked up its pace as well. He pushed her back against the ceramic wall without stopping their hungry kisses. She cooed with satisfaction and dragged her hands down his chest. Her fingers clawed his abs before venturing past his coiled tuff of hair.

When she grabbed hold of his penis he broke their kiss.

Korra immediately stopped, "Is this okay?"

She was slightly out of breath trying to ignore the sudden halt in stimulation.

Mako blinked as he huffed, "Yeah," he went back to kissing her as if everything was fine.

Korra continued to fondle him. Her hand glided along the length of his cock. He wasn't getting very hard but Korra didn't seem to mind working him up as she normally loved to do.

Mako grabbed her breasts, massaging the hills of fat with a tight grip. He tried to push past his thoughts and focus solely on what his body craved. Just an animalistic need. Just the feel of her body against his skin and the heat of the water raining down on them.

Korra's hands skillfully worked him from tip to base. Trying her grandest to get him hard and ready for her. She was damn near the perfect lover and yet he couldn't get into it.

"Mako.." Korra moaned, her voice was so feathery it made him shutter in demise.

He stopped again, "I'm sorry..I don't think I can."

He was embarrassingly limp after such a sensual session of foreplay and he knew that wasn't going to change.

Korra blinked, she really didn't know what to say. She was trying to find her composure and bring back the part of her mind that was already in euphoria. It was an extremely rare occasion when Mako wanted to stop having sex.

"I'm sorry." He muttered again before stepping back. He dropped his hands and swiftly turned around with his eyes lowered. He turned off the water and quickly left the shower.

Korra followed and they both dried off quietly. Mako walked out of the bathroom to retrieve his clothes with a towel around his waist.

"Did I do something wrong?" Korra asked as she left the bathroom while gradually collecting her clothes.

"No." Mako replied, slipping on his boxers.

Korra slipped on her underwear and leggings. She then walked up to her bra and bent over to pick it up. "Then what is it?"

Mako's back was still facing her and she knew it wasn't because he wanted to give her privacy to get dressed.

"Korra sometimes I'm not always going to perform."

"You know I don't care about that." She hooked her bra around her chest and pulled up the straps. He was only human, she wasn't expecting porn star quality stamina every single time.

"I'm sorry, but really it's not you-"

" 'It's me.' Are you serious?" She interrupted.

She was fully dressed now watching as he pulled a white tank top over his head with black baggy sweats hanging around his hips.

Mako rubbed the towel threw his hair, messily drying it off.

"Korra I'm just not in the head space." He walked up to her looking her in the eyes so that she knew he wasn't lying. Mako genuinely had something bothering him that not even hot shower sex could interrupt.

"Do you..want to talk about it?" She shrugged, although deep down she knew he'd probably say no. She wasn't a friend he could vent to.

Mako looked away, this was essentially about her, about what she said earlier.

Being in the shower with her made him feel too vulnerable. It felt too familiar to ignore; the heat, her voice, her touch. There were things he missed too and with the way they had established this relationship, he couldn't let himself feel those emotions.

"I.." he stammered.

Korra walked closer to him. She seemed to be silently hoping he would say something. They needed to work on their communication and anything was better than nothing.

"What you said earlier, it got to me." He replied, his face red as he blushed heavily.

"Oh." Korra looked away, she was really wishing that wasn't the case. She was still beating herself up about that. "Well..I wanted to apologize for that."

"It's okay if you felt that way." Mako replied.

"No it's not!" Korra whined, "We agreed not to make this personal and I know this is still really touchy for you, and we're not really friends so I dont want this to be too much too soon."

Mako noticed her frustration and the tone in her voice like she was disappointed in herself.

He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, "Korra you didn't ruin anything. You were being honest and open. Which is more than I've been to you in a long time."

"It just slipped out! I got too hyped up on endorphins I guess." Korra shrugged. "I promise to be more careful."

"It's fine, but I just need to reiterate where we stand. For my own sake." He sighed.

"right." Korra pouted.

"Why the face?"

Korra hesitated, "b-because I know what you're going to say and I know what you want to hear but..why can't we just be friends?"

Mako crossed his arms indecisively.

"That's how the saying goes right? Friends with benefits?"

"I don't know Korra,"

"Why not? I know seeing Asami with me was hard but she's out of the picture now."

"That still doesn't change how I feel" Mako said. "I look at you and I'm just filled with such regret."

He walked up to her still hugging his chest as if to shield himself from saying such vulnerable words.

"I look at you and I want you. Korra you have no idea how badly I want you, but you deserve someone better than me."

Korra's lip trembled as she listened to him. It was like they were in college again. After so long they are still having the same argument.

"I saw you with her and I was jealous but more so upset with myself. That I couldn't be what she could for you."

"That was my fault! Yes I dated Asami on my own but there was a petty part of me that wanted to hurt you-."

"And rightfully so," He interrupted. "I did what I did because I was insecure, I was selfish, I wanted some sick reassurance that I was worth something. Asami was rich and beautiful and I thought I had something to prove."

Korra sucked in a jagged breath.

He never told her why he cheated on her and admittedly it was still tough to swallow. After their argument and she left for Winter Solstice, he started pursing Asami. To make matters worse she caught them together when she got back, an entire month later.

Korra was so hurt and confused. That couldn't have been the official end of their relationship? They'd had plenty of heated arguments before where they said hurtful things.

Once Asami realized she was the rebound, she broke things off and apologized to Korra personally. That was the building blocks of their friendship that later lead to their relationship.

"If I could have a girl like Asami then there's no reason why I should feel so wrong to have you. At least that's how I felt at the time. I was immature and inconsiderate."

"Honestly it hurts to hear you say that. I wish I could have been enough proof for you." Korra replied. "I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that way. I know my family made you feel like that."

Korra's breath started to become more uneasy as she spoke. They never truly resolved this issue back then.

"You know, I talked with Tenzin today and I told him the only hang up you have is with yourself. Mako I don't hate you for hooking up with her. It hurt then but I've moved on, and I can clearly see you are not the same person."

She placed a soft hand on his cheek, "Why can't you see that? You've accomplished so much, you've grown so much. Why can't you see yourself the way I see you?"

Mako gazed into her eyes and saw glimpses of the anger and hurt from their past. He wished he could fall into her repentance but, the fact that he could ever treat her that way was unforgivable. He had tainted such a good thing, probably one of the best things to come into his life at the time.

"Because I'm constantly reminded of how I broke your heart." His voice cracked under the pressure of his words. "At least with this agreement we've made, you can gain something from me. Instead of me taking from you."

Korra's eyes fluttered as water quickly began to pool behind her lids. Silence filled the space between them as she realized that in the end, he could never let that go. No amount of external encouragement could change how someone felt internally.

"So what? Is this some type of karma for you? You being Asami's rebound now?" She stepped away and stubbornly tried to wipe every drop that escaped her eyes only to fail in the process. Tahno said he'd be getting something in return as well, but Korra didn't think he took his part in the deal that personally.

"If that's how you want to see it sure..."

Korra turned away toward his front door adamantly shaking her head, "..Maybe we jumped into this too soon-"

"No!" He quickly rejected that notion. "I don't want to stop."

Korra groaned sounding perpetually exhausted, "You don't know what you want!"

"I want what we agreed to, that's it..." He sighed. She didn't like that answer and he could tell she was annoyed that they were right back to the start of the conversation again.

Korra was silent for a moment, drying her face with the sleeve of her shirt. "okay Mako...I'll stop asking for my own sake. So we can just continue this, and make love and fuck till our hearts content. And I'll say sweet things to you and you'll call me yours, and we can pretend that we're lovers and everything is fine in those fleeting moments. Then I'll go back to being alone and we can just live our lives as strangers, just like you want."

Mako stammered as his eyes dropped to the floor. When she said it that way it seemed like a miserable wish granted. "Korra I don't want to hurt you... yet I can't ever seem to do right by you either."

Korra continued to the door, "I think this really has nothing to do with me...After so many years, we're still having the same conversation..."

Mako ran after her, "wait! Don't leave," He didn't mean to make her cry and certainly didn't want this to end on a bad note.

"Mako its been four years...Thats how long I've waited to try again, just to be able to call you my friend. But I can't convince you that you're worth it. I can't show you how much I don't care about where you come from or your bank account or your past!"

She wiped her eyes again, hating the fact that she was an angry crier. "I can't anymore, I don't know how. I can't change what happened. I can't stop what you did to me! I can only move on from it! We can only move on and try to do better!"

She turned and stormed out of his room before he got another word in. The door swung shut, leaving him all night with only her words ringing in his ears.