In a very large mouth, Holding a goddamn dog crate
"Didya hear a single goddamned word I said, Jojo?" Hol Horse practically oozes frustration as he shouts at his traveling companion, both of their bodies rising up and down as they sit on the massive tongue below them.
"Hm? I was more focused on how to get us out of this. Alive, preferably." Raising his good arm, Joseph breathes in deeply, Hamon sparking from his arm. In a flash of movement, his fist crashes down on the tongue below him. However, the blow merely dissipates emptily, the Hamon fizzling against the slimy surface under him. "Hm…"
"Yeah, well, your magic powers ain't gonna do shit to this thing. Whole thing's probably made of sand and rocks, and last I checked they don't conduct electricity."
"Hamon." Joseph coughs out to correct Hol Horse, but Hol Horse continues without acknowledging it.
"Goddammit, I shoulda known she was just gonna use all this damn sand against us. What was I thinkin', fightin' the damn rock Stand in the desert…"
"Fairly sure she ambushed us."
"Yeah well, I shoulda just left ya ta die."
"Maybe! But then you wouldn't have seen THIS!" With a surge of Hamon, Joseph kicks off of the tongue into a powerful leap straight upwards towards the rows of teeth above. Just as his Stand shoots from his body to try and latch onto a tooth, the tongue they were sitting on before shoots upwards and catches him in the back.
Graceful as a drunk bull…
The intensity of the blow knocks Joseph directly into a tooth with a dull thud and before long, Hol Horse feels himself sliding down the suddenly extended tongue towards the unknown throat of the now massive High Priestess.
Goddammit. Jump into the sand pit, Hol Horse, what a great friggin' idea!
Trying to keep himself from sliding further, Hol Horse vainly jams one hand onto the tongue to hold himself up, though he's less than successful since his other hand is desperately clinging onto the open cage door of the dog crate. The metal digs into his hand, and a thought crosses his mind to just drop it and hold on for dear life…
…God…damn…dog…
With waning strength, he tries to pull the kennel closer so he can close the gate, perhaps to give the dog a better chance of surviving this horrifying mouth Stand's assaults…
…This poor thing…didn't ask ta be here…
Looking up to try and secure his grip as he continues to slide down, Hol Horse spots the limp body of Joseph falling from the top of the mouth.
Hell, I didn't ask ta be here…
Suddenly, with another shift below, the tongue bounds upwards, knocking Hol Horse and the dog crate into the air. With quick glances, he checks on both the dog and Joseph. Both are fast asleep, though Joseph looks to be more of the unconscious variety of being asleep.
…He didn't ask to be here either…
The tongue coils backwards, the tip positioning itself under Hol Horse as it catches him, his grip still tight on the cage of the kennel. Joseph, however, falls limply below the tongue, in the crook between the bottom of the mouth and the tongue itself.
"OH HOL HORSE. YOUR TURN." A gust of air blows through Hol Horse's hair, straining the cord of his hat around his chin. The force is so great that it knocks the cage upwards along with the cowboy's arm. From the back of the cage, a small black and white patterned mutt of a dog tumbles out of the open gate and directly onto Hol Horse's face.
Ah hell, little buddy. I tried…
Releasing the cage, he grabs hold of the dog on his face and lifts him up, a thin line of drool trailing from the dog's mouth. Its eyes groggily open, more than likely knocked out for the transit here. Hol Horse gives a strained smile at the little dog, knowing very well that he might've just woken it up for it to die right after.
"It'll be alright, little man. Just hol' on tight." Hol Horse brings the dog close to him, a confused look still on its face as it sniffs the air drowsily. No sooner than that, the tongue flicks both of them in the air and lunges at them like a freight train.
Seriously, why tha hell are we wrapped up in Jotaro's problems? Dog ain't ask fer this. I definitely didn't ask fer this. And Joseph…
Clutching the dog tight, Hol Horse tries to twist a bit in the air, positioning his back to the incoming blow.
It ain't even his actual grandson…why the hell is he risking his neck fer this…
The giant tongue crashes into his back, pushing him all the way against a tooth as if a car pinned him to a brick wall. The impact against the wall primarily drives into his forearms, tented forwards to absorb the blow around the small mutt he's holding. The strain drives through his already injured hands, sending a wave of cracking noises up his arms and shoulders.
It ain't fair, dammit…why do I gotta be the one…ta protect…a helpless dog…who didn't…
The pressure on his back doubles down, causing Hol Horse to grit his teeth and his pulse to quicken even more. He can feel some quivering come from the dog, perhaps a whimper if he could hear anything but his heartbeat in his ears.
Didn't…ask fer none a' this…
"TIME TO DIE, HOL HORSE. LIKE A USELESS FLY ON THE WALL, LIKE YOU ALWAYS WERE."
A surge of pain washes through his abdomen as a rush of blood ejects itself from between his clenched teeth onto the much large tooth he's being pressed against. He looks down to try and comfort the dog in his grasp, a weak smile on his face.
"I gotcha, little ma-" What greeted him was not the face of a scared dog, but the snarling mouth of an angry mutt.
"AWOOOO!" Suddenly, the pressure on his back and arms is completely alleviated, though the shocks of pain still rush through his body. Looking around, Hol Horse sees the surface of the tooth in front of him and the tongue behind him eroding into loose sand, which swirls around the two of them. Eventually, it takes form into a horrific combination of car, tribal mask, and feathers.
I'll be damned…this dog really is a Stand user…
"AGHGHH! WHAT DID YOU DO!?" A howl of pain rumbles through the cavernous maw as more and more of the area around the dog dissolves into sand. Soon, a beam of sunlight washes down on the area around them, the tooth fully eroded above them. Even the form of the dog's Stand had changed, resembling more of a wing glider than a messed up car.
"Hey great job, litt-" Hol Horse's pride fades to a sickening feeling as his eyes dart downwards. "JOSEPH!"
But alas, he couldn't see his friend down below, not even with the added sunlight. The dog, however, snarls and barks at the giant figure around it, taking the opportunity to catch the wind from the massive Stand with the gliding wings of its own Stand. As they start to fly in spiraling circles, more sand gets pulled from High Priestess to the dog, forming a few straps to secure Hol Horse to it. Fiercely, the black and white mutt slobbers and barks at the screaming Stand around it.
"JOSEPH! Get outta here! This thing's goin' down!" Desperation clings to his voice as he shouts down below, though his voice is thoroughly drowned out by the horrific screams coming from High Priestess and the waterfalls of sand it's dissolving into.
"IT HURTS, IT HURTS! SAVE ME, MASTER N'DOUL! SAVE-" The voice silences as the facsimile jawbone and teeth finally erode away, the dog's Stand having eaten away at the gargantuan face enough to cause the whole structure to start crumbling. Catching the final updraft from that last scream of pain, both the dog and the strapped in Hol Horse sail upwards and back into the open air, gently gliding to the top of the dune on the outside of the sand pit.
…
Hol Horse plops onto the ground with an unceremonious thud, the dog leaping from his grasp and landing in front of him as he lies face first on the ground.
…
Frustration bubbles through Hol Horse's mind, his hand instinctively pounding the sand below him. Pain reverberates throughout his body, but his mind is still devoid of thought. Just frustration, and pain. Beside him, the dog barks and licks his bandaged hand. He looks up, only a pained smile on his face. The dog approaches him, looks him in the eye, then licks him in the face.
"…Thanks little man. Guess you got me…"
Poor Joseph…buried alive just so we could save this damn dog…
Hol Horse sits up, the dog coming over and curling itself up in Hol Horse's lap, finding some shade and coolness underneath the cowboy.
"…Dammit Joseph…am I supposed ta just run away now? Damn fool…" He leans back, the dog fast asleep in his lap as he props himself up with both hands and legs crossed. Wistfully looking to the sky, he feels a cool breeze roll through his hair.
Then an arm jets up out of the sand in front of him.
"What th-" The shock sends Hol Horse tumbling back, waking up the dog with a yelp as they both fly about two feet behind them. The arm finds some purchase in the loose sand, then wrenches its body upwards, revealing the sandy and bloody form of Joseph Joestar.
"What?"
"How the hell did you- OUCH!" Just as Hol Horse starts pointing at the risen body of Joseph, the mutt leaps up and latches itself onto Hol Horse's hair, dangling with all its weight from his shoulder length blond hair. "Get the hell off me, ya damn thing!"
"You couldn't have waited to take that thing down 'til I got out of there? I was nearly done climbing up the side of that big mouth before you decided to bury me alive with it…" Joseph rotates his shoulders around and stretches as he speaks, occasionally stopping to spit some sand out of his mouth. "I was just gonna fetch Jotaro to take of this for us, but looks like our new companion is a champ!"
"Ow, goddammit, let go!" Hol Horse grabs the dog with both hands and tries to pull it away from himself, but the mutt's jaw remains tightly clenched, its small tail wagging.
"No no, it's fine, ignore me. Just had use a Hamon barrier with some of my hair to give me an air bubble…"
"Hey, ya mutt, I saved ya from getting' squished! Stop bitin' me!" Hol Horse continues to flail around with the dog in his hands, its grip on his hair only tightening.
"Well I'm glad you saved the dog, I found something useful while I was down there. Couldn't find the crate he was in, but I found a piece of paper that came from it. Or part of it."
"C'mon now, stop!"
"Well, since you're busy, I'll just read it out. 'This dog's name is Iggy, and his Stand is The Fool. He has very peculiar behavior, so make sure to follow these instructions carefully.'"
"Help me, Joseph! He's gonna rip my hair off!"
"I'm getting to that! The first instruction is that when he gets excited, he likes biting long human hair."
"Okay! Great! How do I get him to stop?"
"No clue! That's all that was on this part of the page! The rest got ripped off."
A shriek of pain echoes through the sands, along with the sounds of laughing man and a pleased dog.
Time passes…
Hol Horse finds himself more than exhausted as he's walking back to the main road, Joseph limping beside him and Iggy asleep in his arms, having tuckered himself out by dangling from Hol Horse's hair for nearly an hour.
"Hey, Joseph." A grim tone washes over Hol Horse's voice.
"Hm?" Joseph hums contentedly, apparently not a care in the world.
"Why the hell do ya put up with this? Jotaro's problems are his. No need for ya ta get caught up in them."
"Really? That's an easy one, Hol Horse. He didn't ask for his problems either. If I've got the power to help him get through it, of course I'm gonna help. You could've dropped that dog at any point and kept running. Hell you could've dropped me. But you didn't."
"I didn't drop ya because ya wouldn't let go."
"Details. We're all in this together now. I hope you know, if you start to run, I'm going to be right there beside you, to drag you right back in." Joseph stops to give him a grinning wink, a proud thumbs up coming from his undamaged arm. Hol Horse just heaves a heavy sigh and continues walking.
That simple, huh. Guess we're all little dogs dragged into this mess by DIO…
"Well, c'mon, hurry up! I'm sure Anne's bored waiting for us!"
Can't leave now. This idiot will get this mutt killed…
"Yeah yeah. I'm comin'." Begrudgingly, Hol Horse trudges through the dusty, sand path ahead of them, side by side with an idiot and a Fool.
END of CHAPTER 28