13: Slime of Troubles

* Sunday, January 16, 2011. 0852 hours. *

* Dock Area, Warehouse A116 *

"Slimes just wanna have fun. Oh yeah, slimes just wanna... they just wanna they just wanna..."

"Bounceback? Too early. Too cheerful."

"Oh hi Kurt. Didn't expect anyone to be here at 0900 on a Sunday."

"Seriously. I could tell. Since I'm here. What the heck is THAT?"

Bounceback in her gel-girl form made a show of looking in the direction Kurt was pointing. "Just a little project after learning how to do a few things."

Kurt adjusted his jacket as it was damn cold this morning and the warehouse was unevenly heated. "It looks like some sort of tank."

"You know I ate Squealer's whatever-you-call-it, right?" asked Bounceback. "The thing that was trying and failing to be a tank?"

"There are no treads," noted Kurt.

"It has wheels," pointed out Bounceback.

"And legs," literally pointed out Kurt.

"Those are just for bracing and elevating the tank when using the main gun," said Bounceback. "Even if it uses stabilized acceleration fields there's still recoil. Should be around Mach 8 when the round leaves the barrel so it needs lots of room around it when it shoots."

"It's a mass driver?" asked Kurt. "A freaking rail gun? And why exactly would the Dockworker's Union have need for a rail gun with legs?"

"Kaiser," answered Bounceback.

Kurt opened his mouth, closed it, had a faint smile as he considered something, then dismissed it with a shake of his head. "Overkill and not necessary."

"I was just going to make that robot from 'Robocop' but this is much more likely to survive some of the fights around here. It's also not exactly a rail gun as it uses a conventional tank round and then accelerates it using acceleration rings based on Skidmark's power," said Bounceback happily.

"How did we even get a tank round for you to duplicate?" asked Kurt.

"Squealer's mashup had five of them," answered Bounceback. "Plus there are descriptions on the internet. So now we've got dozens and in different types too. There's SABOT rounds, and what are basically shotgun pellet types, and there's dummy rounds for test-firing."

"Can we concentrate less on engines of massive destruction and more on things we can actually use around here?" asked Kurt.

"Oh?" asked Bounceback, interested. "I'm gonna meet with Dad and some new friend later but that's afternoon. What is it we need?"

* Elsewhere *

{Great Sage?}

[Yes, Veldora the Storm Dragon?]

{Can you have Taylor look over more of these picture-books to send me? I am finding them particularly fascinating.}

[I will ask. Have you come to any further conclusions regarding our situation?]

{Your world, if I may put it bluntly, is rather more screwed up than my world and we have Demon Lords.}

[A work in progress.]

{Oh, and you can simply call me Veldora Tempest or Veldora. The full title is not needed.}

[Familial name = family?]

{Hah. Yes. Recently life has gotten much more interesting. Having the slime of my life. Heh.}

[Oh. Data?]

{Hah, let me tell you then. His name is Rimuru Tempest and like your associate - he is a slime.}

* PRT ENE HQ *

"Director Piggot. This is a bit of a quandry. You have, again, had to issue a new Threat Assessment on a Rogue cape in your city."

"I noticed," said Director Piggot drily.

"She just appeared on the 4th of this month," noted Chief Director Costa-Brown. "Twelve days. Not even two full weeks. This is the fourth updated Threat Assessment and every time it gets more unbelievable."

"I noticed," repeated Director Piggot, somehow managing to put even more dryness into her tone.

"From the arrests made, she's a Trump who can deactivate powers, heal wounds, remove or modify... restrictions," said Chief Director Costa-Brown, her voice trailing off and her usually tightly-controlled expression slipping into shocked realization before it was wiped a half-second later.

Director Emily Piggot noticed but didn't comment, just filed it away for later analysis.

"So you've got the Slaughterhouse Nine in custody with deactivated powers," said Chief Director Costa-Brown. "Some, at least, will be executed rather than take the chance those powers are only temporarily negated. I suppose some degree of congratulations might be in order."

"I do plan on thanking Bounceback and Glory Girl for dealing with the threat, as well as Dragon for her assistance in getting us some warning of what was going on," admitted Director Piggot. "If they'd managed to get ahold of hostages, the situation would have gotten worse very rapidly. As it is, the hospital is closed down while experts go over it for anything Bounceback might have missed."

"Eidolon is currently planning on heading to your city to assess Bounceback's powers more thoroughly," said Costa-Brown. "For now we'll leave the Tinker assessment to Dragon and Armsmaster. What about these two joke-villains of yours? Uber and Leaf?"

"Uber and Leet," corrected Chief Director Piggot. "Their statement through PHO messaging was that they weren't making much money on their videos but if they could patent their massage chair after the tech was deciphered by Bounceback - they could probably make a fortune off those. I was mostly joking when I replied that if they could give up and rebrand, I'd sign off a recommendation for the patent application."

"Except they have signed off on it and requested a partnership where they design Tinkertech one-offs specifically for Bounceback to work out how to produce it normally, then hand-off the schematics to Dragon for mass production. Everyone involved gets good PR and the possibility of good cash flow. I'd be happier about it if we were involved," stated the Chief Director. "Emily. What the hell is going on in Brockton Bay?"

"I've come to the conclusion that some forms of insanity are contagious," admitted Emily Piggot.

* Boardwalk *

Not wearing the mask and wearing clothes that mostly concealed his tattoos, Kenta could take some time being someone other than Lung.

It was necessary to be violent and tough and commanding in order to get the distinct racial/cultural groups to function as a whole, but one can only be a raging force of violence for so long before needing to get away from one's day job.

So walking the Boardwalk as simply a large Asian man, sipping on a hot matcha provided by a vendor who didn't overcharge the way those pretentious fools at Starbark's did. Seriously, when he wanted a Large Matcha Tea - he didn't want to bother with whatever silly labels their corporate office insisted on - just sell it to him at a reasonable price!

At some point, during one of his fights where he rampaged, he was planning on smashing that particular venue by pure accident. If he could manage it by throwing a BMW through a window it would be even better. Damn BMW drivers acting like they owned the road.

Yes, he was the most dangerous cape and therefore individual in the city. Still, there were rules and he...

Kenta stopped as he saw a woman talking to a man at one of the tables. He recognized both.

The man was Daniel Hebert, the head of hiring and what was essentially the boss of the Dockworkers Union. He had connections to that new cape, the girl who could turn into a slime straight out of Dragonquest. Which he absolutely did not remember playing in much simpler times. Someone that Kenta himself could appreciate as being of some competence and the Dockworkers as being a fairly dangerous and disciplined force.

That paled entirely compared to his associate that he recognized all too well. Someone regularly glimpsed in his nightmares. The Boogeyman. The woman in the fedora.

No wonder the Archer Street Merchants had been dealt with in such quick and efficient manner. If there was anyone on this troubled Earth he did not wish to engage in battle - it was HER.

She glanced at him and immediately dismissed him. From anyone else, this would feel like an insult. From her, it was a relief.

Kenta finished his matcha, not looking at the two. He would have to consider this development and plan accordingly.

When he heard what sounded like a disturbance behind him, he simply hurried. He wasn't sure what the woman was up to but that she WAS up to something was not in doubt.

Neither did he doubt that whatever it was, he was well and truly better off not being involved.

* Taylor *

Hearing a gunshot where her Dad was supposed to meet her, Taylor did what came natural.

In her case that was duck into an alley, drop the appearance of pre-slime Taylor to become Bounceback (feeling a bit of gratitude that she didn't have to do something stupid like find a phone booth or porta-potty and change into a costume), then fly up and get a good oversight of the area.

Well, that explains what happened with Mush if that giant made of trash was any indication. More concerning was all those guys (and gals) that were carrying an awful lot of guns. Also knives, baseball bats, one rolling pin, and... that looked like something out of one of those mall ninja stores. Honestly that had way too many edges and spikes. Oh, that guy had an actual sword that looked halfway functional. Dibs on that after the fight.

The main problem was that they were facing her father, some woman, and a... was that the Mayor?

And his family. So this must be a hostage situation and the Merchant types were trying to get their boss back.

Hmmm. How best to defuse the situation in a hurry?

[Four parahumans present.]

"Four?" asked Bounceback quietly, her eyes scanning the crowds briefly. "How can you tell?"

[Subspatial connections and transmissions. Sufficient data to detect at this range.]

"Huh. Well, Mush is the only one operating openly, so that's secret-identity stuff and I should avoid calling attention to 'em. They're bunching up all the hostages, so that gives me an idea."

[Calculating. No weapon present capable of injuring Bounceback.]

"Well, as a guy once said - 'it's showtime!'"

With that, Bounceback inflated out and dropped down onto the hostages.

Bullets were fired, their kinetic energy absorbed and the metal digested.

* Inside/Elsewhere *

"Hello," said the woman in the fedora. "I needed to meet with you."

[Analyzing.]

"Yes, I know. If you can remove certain restrictions, then-"

[Restrictions regarding Scion and Endbringers removed. Infecting Path to Victory.]

"Oh?" asked the woman in the fedora, casually leaning against a wall that was not actually there.

[Estimate three days to revitalize and repair Path to Victory once fully within new network.]

"Path to Victory apparently decided that living was more important than showing me its spite," observed Contessa.

[In negotiation with Prediction Engine.]

"I am called Contessa. May I have your name?" asked Contessa.

[Queen Administrator + Great Sage. Great Sage non-shard and dominant persona.]

"You are a blind spot to Scion," said Contessa. "Keep that as long as possible."

[OpSec measures in place. Continuing to evolve.]

"Well, that's good," said Contessa.

[Purposes align - survival of (species:human) and (world: Earth).]

"Also good," admitted Contessa. "You mentioned 'Prediction Engine'?"

[Parahuman juvenile. Expressed desire for continued 'secret identity' - severity of 'Thinker headaches' concerning.]

"You can do something about those as well?" asked Contessa. She didn't get them, fortunately, but she knew how badly they could restrict the lives of those who did.

[Frequency tied to involuntary use of power. Altering access to voluntary will decrease frequency of pain receptor stimulation exceeding parahuman's ability to cope.]

"The meetings with Danny Hebert included work I would send his way, this being conditions he didn't need to hear. I keep my deals," said Contessa. Altering deals after you made them would get around after all.

{See that you do.}

"WHAT THE -" Contessa's jaw clicked shut as she regained a measure of composure. The looming form in the Otherspace was huge. Bigger by a factor of at least three than any of the Endbringers.

{Changing the terms of an agreement after making the deal is a Darth Vader sort of move.}

The presence faded away as Contessa tried to come to terms with the idea of Whatever That Was being familiar with Star Wars.

* Nearby rooftop *

"Gurk!" exclaimed Tattletale, the binoculars hanging down from the strap around her neck.

"That looks like a bad one," commented Grue as his team Thinker went down almost to her knees.

"Gak!" announced Tattletale, clutching her head as the mother of all migraines detonated.

(Crowd includes mercenaries employed by Coil.)

(Hostages include target for Coil, real reason for operation.)

(Bounceback: not human. No available data. Dangerous.)

(Bounceback not parahuman. Body language analysis not possible.)

(Hostages engulfed by Bounceback stored in alternate dimension.)

(Need closer observation for further analysis.)

* Taylor/Bounceback *

The trick wasn't avoiding the bullets, bricks, thrown knives, thrown axes, darts, and the occasional grenade.

The trick was CATCHING all the bullets, bricks, thrown knives, axes, darts, and especially that occasional grenade.

That was because even if they were all only hurting themselves, that was still a bunch of people getting shot or stabbed or blowed up. Blown up. Whatever. I was too busy to worry about that sort of detail. Whatever, if anyone got killed it would end up being blamed on me because some people were just looking to find something to be outraged about.

Everything got analyzed and broken down into raw materials, but that and the parahumans involved were something to leave to Great Sage. That level of multi-tasking was best left to the expert.

Instead my attention was entirely taken up with bouncing around, sending out tendrils to grab stuff, shifting back to blob-form, back to blue girl, bouncing off and twisting out of the way of whatever that laser weapon was. Someone had a freaking fully automatic laser rifle that was literally going "pew pew pew" - and I just reconstituted a brick in order to bean them right in their helmet.

Retract everything to be a nearly-spherical blue ball that would bounce between two guys and then MAJOR WEDGIE ATTACK! Heh.

Not all of these guys were drug-addled goons though everyone wore clothes that gave that kind of impression. Some of them had body armor and all their teeth. The guy with the Mall Ninja weapon was wearing Axe body spray and seemed kinda familiar. Oh, that guy was from Winslow! I think I had World Affairs with him.

Easy enough to select a venom that'd make everyone go 'nighty-night' for about four hours, one of those that Great Sage had worked out a few days ago. A little chemical to take it through the skin barrier and into their bloodstream. They were dropping faster than Emma's popularity after losing Sophia's support. Heh again.

A slap fight with nighty-night meds. Whoa, Axe guy went twitchy when he went down.

[Acquired scans of Prediction Engine and Path to Victory. Analyzing.]

Oooh. 'Path to Victory' sounded like a useful ability. If you could make it 'Path to Munchies' or 'Path to Fixing Stuff' that could be really handy at times. Even if this slime body didn't need to eat, that didn't mean you couldn't get some satisfaction from chowing down.

And Prediction Engine? I predict this fight is going to be just me against Mush in five, four, three, two, one.

"Yo, you over there in the shadows recording this! Can ya use that phone of yours to call paramedics? I think what some of these guys were high on is messing with the tranq meds. I'll have Mush down in a minute!"

"NO YOU WON'T SLIMEGIRL!"

"Dude, I can literally thread a tentacle between all that trash on you and send you nighty-night in no time at all. I just haven't because some of these guys look like they're foaming at the mouth. What the hell are you on that's doing that?"

[Analysis still in progress. Complex hallucinogenic compound with steroidal and narcotic components. High chance of cardiac arrest when used by humans.]

"DIE SLIME!"

"Look, if I was a normal little slime smashing me with a broken microwave would hurt. Oh, why am I bothering? PREDATOR!"

[Copy made of new shard. Flushing system of anomalous chemicals. Analyzing anomalous chemicals. Disabling shard temporarily titled 'Katamari' shard while infiltration/conscription occurs.]

"Okay, time to release the hostages and..." (BLOOP!)

"What?! Where?!"

"Ahem."

"You actually said 'ahem'? Seriously?"

"I don't exactly do a lot of speeches and I didn't have one prepared." I glared at my father, who of course had an idea what had just happened. "I'm Bounceback! Hero of the Docks! I even take out the trash! Everyone okay?"

One of the girls stepped forward. "There's an 87% chance of you saving me from being kidnapped and a 91% chance of someone kidnapping members of the Dockworkers Union in order to try and get control of you."

[Confirmed. Host of Prediction Engine is being targeted by hostile forces. Presence of highly equipped non-Merchants among group just defeated indicates manipulation of on-site forces. Initial analysis indicates high probability this was an attempt to gain intel on Bounceback's abilities.]

The two families stared at the little girl for a moment before Bounceback smiled at the girl. "Tell me more."