Disguise

Characters: Penguin, Kin'emon, Law. Rating: K. Warnings: SPOILERS for chapter 913

Penguin's first reaction was hell no. Shachi was being unhelpfully amused at his predicament, chuckling away as he finished tying his obi and slotting his katana into the fabric to keep it in place. Well, Penguin groused silently, glowering at Kin'emon, it wasn't like it was weird for him. The ginger had always liked swords.

Penguin did not like swords. The things were just glorified knives with twice the potential for trouble, as far as he was concerned, and he had no wish to carry one.

"I don't know how to use it!" he protested, catching himself at the last second before he found himself backing away from the samurai, who was towering over him with a katana in hand. "That's worse than useless to me!" He tightened his grip on his yagi defensively.

"In that case, allow me to teach you in the time we have left before we arrive!" Kin'emon declared, and Penguin almost fled on the spot. Shachi's inevitable raucous laughter and Law's disapproval were the only things keeping him in place.

"No, that's fine," he hedged, conceding a backwards step as the tall man crowded him. "Really, it's fine. I can fight unarmed." Kin'emon looked offended at the idea, but Penguin was not in the mood to attend to his every wish. Sending him in half trained with a weapon would be far worse than sending him in weaponless. He had his knife and his haki, he'd manage.

"Penguin," and there was the disapproving tone he'd been hoping wouldn't come.

"Yes, Captain?" he groaned, turning around to see Law dressed in his own kimono. Kikoku was still resting against his shoulder, like always, and if he wasn't about to get chewed out for something or other, Penguin would have been amused at the way he was totally ignoring Kanjuro, who was attempting to tell him that his sword needed to be carried on the hip. As it was, he assumed he was about to be subjected to a pile of hypocrisy.

"Carry the sword," Law said, predictably. "Your disguise will be incomplete without it." It was hardly a disguise when their jolly roger was plastered all over all of their kimono. The Straw Hats were in far better disguises, in Penguin's opinion, and he wondered at Law's decision. "You don't have to use it."

Penguin scowled, but this time stayed still long enough for Kin'emon to slide the katana into place. He immediately felt lop-sided as the weight tugged at his left hip…

"I'm left handed," he protested, looking down at the sword and tapping the hilt dubiously.

"If you're not going to be drawing it, that doesn't matter," Law pointed out. "Make sure your knife is in easy reach if you're that insistent on not learning the basics."

"When is it not?" Penguin demanded.

"Law-dono, you can't just carry your sword like that!" Kanjuro tried again, and in a spate of pettiness, Penguin was glad he wasn't the only one being harped on at about correct clothing. Then again, he supposed, looking around at the rest of his nakama, he wasn't the worst off.

At least he'd known how to dress himself; Ikkaku still looked mortified at having Raizo tugging her several layers of clothes into position before turning to attack her hair. Her bushy locks did not want to tie up into even the simplest of the hairstyles the ninja knew. Beside her, Nico Robin was waiting her turn with a look Penguin could only describe as dubious.

Penguin, Shachi and Law had all drawn the line at their hair, keeping their hats firmly on their heads. If they had to go out into the general public, they would have to put one of those ridiculous top knots on their head, but as long as they stayed in their base, that wouldn't be a problem.

"I feel like Master Nekomamushi," Bepo bemoaned from his own corner, picking at his robe. "Captain, do I have to carry a sword? I can't use one."

Normally, Penguin would feel sorry for the younger man, but as Law took a visibly deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose in clear frustation, he couldn't quite manage it.

He hadn't let it on, he didn't think, but this whole take down Kaido thing? Penguin wanted nothing to do with it. His wounds from Jack – finally healed up enough to no longer need bandaging – started hurting the moment he remembered another confrontation with the monster was more than likely in their near future.

No, Penguin hated this whole thing. Constant undercover work with an almost guarantee of a confrontation with a man that had all too gleefully tortured them the last time they'd met? Definitely not. The only reason he hadn't protested out loud was because Law hadn't known, when he'd made the alliances – both of them – what Jack had done to them, and now he did the younger man's guilt was clear enough without Penguin adding to it.

He'd follow Law wherever he went, but a large part of him feared that they wouldn't all make it out alive a second time.

Before I get the main A/N, I'm just going to put a note out here that I'm off on another dig as of tomorrow so updates may once again go on hold or be sporadic, depending on internet and my energy.

SPOILER WARNING CONTINUES FOR THE FOLLOWING A/N

Well, Oda just gave me the best possible birthday present yesterday! The characters I wanted to see The Most (yes, more than Law) finally reappeared... and with them gave me a whole pile of new questions. In particular this chapter, I'm addressing the fact that Penguin has a katana on his left hip, when until now we've only ever seen him unarmed or using a spear of some kind in his left hand, but of course there are more to be asked (and hopefully answered next week), like what the Heart Pirates are up to, and where are the rest of them.

And a whole pile more, but for now I'm going to be patient and bask in the fact that they're here.

Thanks for reading!
Tsari