Unrequited love — an experience so painful that many fear; when intense emotions build from the inability of being freely expressed one could compare it to the sensation of suffocating. However in this world the experience can physically manifest.
"Should a mage possess strong enough mana and unreciprocated feelings, a self inflicted curse is innately activated. This was called the 'Hanahaki Curse', a rare condition wherein a magic seedling grows from within a mages chest.
Uncontrollable flowers sprout and hinder the person's breathing causing wheezing, breathlessness, a tight chest, coughing. This growth is triggered by the person's thoughts of being unloved by their beloved.
Not only was this curse rare it was also undetected during its early stages thus people only notice when it's already too late."
Noelle reads this in the middle of her research on curses.
Seriously, people make up the most ridiculous things. She thinks and moves on.
What she never considered was that she'd experience it for herself.
Stage 1: Germination
For Noelle the initial symptoms were barely noticeable. Whenever she was with a certain anti-mage her chest beated rapidly, her breathing was labored and she'd be terribly flustered. All of which she had experienced from the day she met him and so she thought them to be completely normal occurrences.
Stage 2: Sprouting
However, out of nowhere she kept experiencing coughing spells. It was worst during the morning and night which made her body exhausted and her throat constantly sore.Training and missions became a little harder to do as well. So in concern she gets herself checked. Yet during her check up the doctor hadn't sensed any abnormalities so she chalked it up to allergies despite never having any.
Stage 3: Flowering
Years had passed and her condition was more of an annoyance in her daily life. She always drank warm tea to soothe her throat and had to use magic items to instantly fall asleep although the former was a welcomed inconvenience. Noelle wonders if it wouldget any worse. Her question was eventually answered one day.
The Silva had simply trained with Asta hours, just a typical day spent whenever they had no missions.
Currently she was reading although the itch in her throat made her very distracted and her warm tea was not helping. A few coughs later, she felt liquid come out of her throat.Horrified, she looks down at the crimson drops within her palm.
Normally she'd immediately go and tell the doctor however something made her pause. And it was the sight of blood drenched flower petals, looking closer she could tell that it was a specie of Aster. Instantly, it immediately reminded her about a curse she had read about once.
When she had found out her mother's connection to curses she had researched a little on it. She read about all sorts of ridiculous curses that she was even doubtful if some of them truly existed. Regardless, the Hanahaki had no significance at the time considering it was a spell that was impossible to inflict onto someone else and no demons were involved.
Thinking that she could very well be jumping to conclusions, she decides to test out her theory. And so she talked to Asta while keeping track of her body's reaction.
Minutes pass into their conversation and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. But then their talk somehow led to him gushing about the Nun back in his village and she couldn't suppress feeling annoyed.
"It's been years Asta, she probably won't change her mind you know. Besi—cough." Her words were cut short by an intense pain in her chest and the itch in her throat was back full force. Unconsciously she holds her neck, a feeling of dread settling onto her.
"Hey, are you okay?" He notices a change in her demeanor. She nods, not trusting her voice at the moment. After having calmed down and taking deep breaths she replies.
"I think... I just need rest."
"Yeah, you seem pretty tired these days, You shouldn't push yourself too much."
"You are the last person I want to hear that from Dorksta." She rolls her eyes, and returns to their base.
She needed to find more information about her condition, thus back to the library she went; only to find out that the curse was lethal if given enough time. Since the growth overwhelmed and stole the oxygen intended for her body. Alarmingly, the blood soaked flowers were already an indication that she was close to the final stages. Luckily there was a cure to the curse, unfortunately there was no guarantee that it would work.
After all, what are the odds that Asta liked her back?
So she never told anyone and continued to suffer in silence. An alternative would've been to love someone else and be reciprocated but Noelle knew there'd be nobody else.
In a way, she had already come to terms with her demise. All that she could do wasto prolong her life as much as possible and hinder the curse's progress.The princess hoped that it would grant her a couple more years or at most til the day she sees Asta become a Wizard King.
After confirming it for herself, she was aware of his presence even moreso than usual.For every heartfelt smile he gave a new stem sprouted, in each word of encouragement he told another bud blossomed, even thoughts of him resulted in the floras uncontrolled growth
So she had come to a conclusion that the pain grew worse the more she was with him and so obviously she had to minimize their interactions. The girl also had to keep her mind busy at all times because he invaded her thoughts which made avoiding him pointless.
Their usual playful bickering reduced to one worded interactions. Training that used to be fun and challenging she now limited to professionally focusing on improvement. She no longer animatedly converse with the others either—not even Vanessa could make her crack.
This was a change that everyone in the bulls noticed especially the anti-mage and she knew it was only a matter of time that they started to ask her questions. It came to the extent that she even declined missions with Asta however this didn't last long. And at one point the captain was adamant and no amount of asking let her refuse; the princess wonders if even the oblivious captain noticed her avoidance.
Regardless, she resumed minimizing conversation and only acknowledged his presence if it was important for the mission.Oddly enough instead of the usual loud boisterous boy she knew him to be, he was awfully quiet.
Now that their mission was over, all they had to do was return to base. Just as she was about to transform into her Valkyrie armor and fly away a hand grips hers.
"Did I do something wrong?" He finally asks and despite enjoying the contact, she feels the stems latching onto her lungs. The girl flinches from the pain and she immediately pulls her hand away.
"No, why do you ask?" The water mage replies, her back turned from him. In her mind she counted to ten in order to stabilize her erratic heart beats.
"You've been acting different. And I feel like it's my fault." She hears him say in such a soft guilty voice that caused a different pain in her chest grow.
"Why would it be your fault? Maybe I just happen to change." She quips, doing her best to ignore the painful sensation of even more flowers blooming.
"I can sense it you know...there's this unimaginable sorrow in your heart. Sometimes it's so overwhelming that it's painful! Everyone else could even tell just by looking at you, if you have a problem you know we're always here for you."
"Yes, I know." But there's no helping me now.
"Can you at least look at me when we're talking?"
"What are you talking about—" she feigned ignorance, but the boy wasn't fooled. He moved in front of her with both of his hands griping her shoulders while finally gaining eye contact she saw the most serious expression he ever held.
"This pain you feel, it happens most when you look at me. So please, tell me how I can fix it." Although she was surprised with how aware he was of her symptoms, she couldn't admit anything.
"There's nothing to fix,I appreciate your concern Dorksta but I can handle—" Her sentence was cut short by a violent cough attack which only made the anti mage more concerned.
"Hey, are you alright? Do you need water?"
"No—cough—I-I'm—wheeze—fine." Asta furrowed his eye brows, clearly she was not "fine".
"You don't sound fine at all. Come on I'll take you back to the hideout." He carries her before she could protest and starts flying using his sword.
Throughout the whole ride he couldn't help but keep glancing at her as he held her close, the coughing hadn't let up at all and tears brimmed near her eye lids. Close up he can tell that her normally healthy complexion was sickly pale. The bags under her eyes showed her exhaustion, her striking silver hair lost its shine and she felt lighter than usual. All of that was concerning enough, but a certain sight made his heart skip a beat.
Is that blood?!
Not long after the water mage hacked blood into her palm, she passed out. And despite his attempts of waking her she remained unconscious.
In full panic mode, he immediately picks up the pace and turns from the direction of their hideout towards the capital.
Not even daring to knock or show courtesy, he rushes to the infirmary where Dr. Owen fortunately had no patients.
"Please heal her!"
"What happened?" The doctor asks as he leads them to a vacant hospital bed.
"I-I don't know, after our mission we we're just tal—talking and then out of nowhere she started coughing like crazy. I was going to fly us back to base but it didn't stop and she passed out coughing blood!"
"Alright thank you for bringing her here first. I'm gonna need to run some tests. You can wait outside and inform your squad." Asta with reluctance moves away from the unconscious girl. Just before closing the door with a nervous gulphe asks the older man.
"Noelle is going to be okay right?" He says, now finally moving his eyes away.
"I'll do what I can."
Noelle wakes up in a familiar clinic, having been here a few times when she passed out as a child due to fatigue.
"Dr. Owen?"
"Glad to see you're awake. Your friend was very worried."
"Asta brought me here?" she moreso whispers to herself but the healing mage answers anyways.
"Yes, good thing he did. Otherwise, you would've kept your condition secret." He starts, and the woman dreads what he would say next.
"How long have you suffered the Hanahaki Curse?"
"What do you—h-how did—"
"These normally come from the ground, not your throat." The doctor held a flower in his hand, now that the blood was washed away she can clearly see that its petals were a very familiar shade of bright green.
"Unfortunately, you aren't the first noble I have diagnosed with the same condition."
"Did you tell him?"
"I needed to talk to you first—"
"No one can know, especially him." Perplexed, the doctor glances towards the direction of the door where Asta was most likely waiting.
"Ahhh I see, the Asters make sense now. However, your condition is rather alarming. You are close to the final stages, at most you have a few months.
You do realize what this means right?"
"I've come to accept it." The woman tries to say with a strongly, but anyone would hear the tremble in her voice.
"He isn't aware of your curse so you haven't confessed to him?" Owen questions, knowing that the royal hadn't even given herself a chance.
"When I die because he doesn't love me back he'll blame himself. I don't want to put that unnecessary burden on him." It was clear to the doctor that these two havea strong bond. However, this did not mean that the boy reciprocated her feelings. But he had to convince his patient to at least attempt a cure.
"You know Noelle, I've seen plenty of patients be rushed in this clinic. And there is a very specific face a man makes when he think she's about to lose the woman he loves.
If you saw him, would that change your mind?" The Silva's eyes widen and a small feeling of hope sparked within her heart but she immediately reminds herself that this was Asta, he was so kind that he'd be just as worried for any of his friends.
"I am going to be blunt with you, Ms. Silva. It is no longer possible to hide it, one as it would go against my profession to only let you die,two as closure for your feelings and three this is for the people you will leave behind.
Would you truly prefer that you pass away without them knowing anything?"
"O-okay... I'll tell him." The older man nods, lets the worried mage enter the room and leaves to give them privacy.
The anti-mage immediately rushes to a seat next to her, a relieved sigh escapes his lips but the worry in his kind emerald eyes stayed."You finally woke up! I was so worried. What made you cough blood anyways, we didn't even get injured during the mission. The captain and the others will probably come here as soon as Finral gets back from his errands." Asta rambled on but noticed a tension in her ki building that he slowly stops himself from talking.
"Noelle?" He calls out to her, feeling more fearful and worried as the seconds tick by.
"I need to admit something to you...
Truth is I've been sick but I've only known a couple months ago"
"Then how come you didn't say anything when you found out?"
"It isn't a normal illness but a curse. Originally I planned to slow it down as much as possible but apparently I'm going to die soon.
You are the only one that can cure me but it might not work so when I die, promise me you won't blame yourself."
"Eh? Why would—"
"Asta." She calls him, an indirect command to shut up. The mention of his actual name makes him shiver, she never called him that before!
"I need you to promise me." He blinks at her words, he would do anything if it means she'd be fine. Besides he never went back on his word, he was that kind of person.
"Okay, I promise." She nods and continues her explanation.
"My condition is called the Hanahaki curse, it's a self inflicted spell that makes flowers grow inside my lungs that will eventually suffocate me. It stems from my thoughts of unrequited feelings and the only cure is to receive affections from the one I love."As she kept talking one could see just how hard Asta was trying to comprehend her words. He swore his brain was close to igniting from everything she said. His thoughts were filled with so many questions that he couldn't even ask any of them properly.
"Who would you even—and how am I supposed to...wait—" Aloud gasp escapes him when he finally understood. And he just stares at her with a dumbfounded expression. An unsettling silence ensues and Noelle decided to break the tension just so she could stop wallowing in awkwardness.
"J-just so you know, I don't regret having feelings for you even if I will die for them." This finally breaks him out of his thoughts, one question stuck in his mind.
"So if I want to save you, I have to love you?"
"Forcing yourself wouldn't cure me, that's not how this works. And I wouldn't want you to be insincere either, that's not who you are." Asta could sense a particular anger in her ki.
"But what if I'm not really sure how I feel?" He says, and it was her turn to become dumbfounded. Asta was always simple minded and sincere which made him such an authentic person however it seems that there are questions even he had no straightforward answer to.
"I don't know if I love you, but you are definitely important to me. These past months without you felt really weird, like a piece of me was missing and no matter what I did I couldn't ignore it. I even had to ask Captain to put us on a mission together just so we can talk it out, fix whatever the problem was and hopefully go back to how we used to be.You were always with me from the start, on missions, battles,training, the war—we've been through a lot and we've become stronger together.
I've never really thought about loving anyone else except Sister Lily.But if I had to spend the rest of my life with someone else,you would be the first one to cross my mind."
Noelle blushes from his words but instead of the painful sensation she expected to recieve she felt relief.
"So what are you proposing then?" Asta reaches her hand and keeps it in a firm grip.
"I want to try loving you back—"
"Bu-but I—I d-don't—" She tries to refuse, but the determined look he gave was very familiar.
"I'm not going to lose you without even trying." The princess senses that the strong hold on her hand was beyond the simple gesture of offering her comfort. No, that was him reassuring himself as well—that she was still here, that there was a chance to save her and that he will not let that opportunity go no matter what.
And everyone was aware of just how stubborn he was.
"O-okay—" She couldn't even finish before she was enveloped in a warm relieved hug. And just like that her chest felt just a little bit lighter.
"Wh-what makes you th-think it's alright to hug me? I'm royalty you know!" The girl remarks in her usual fashion denying how much she liked the affection. Hearing this brings a sense of familiarity and he can't help but chuckle.
"Stop laughing, it's not funny!" She scolds and the embarrassed expression on her face makes him laugh even more.
"I missed this... I missed you." He whispers, feeling unbothered for the first time ever since she evaded him. The girl doesn't respond but that was okay, he knew she found it hard to express herself. It had been so long since they had a proper conversation and even if the problem hasn't been solved he was simply happy to be with her again.
"I—I missed you too." She finally says in a small voice, and it amplifies his joy even further. He gives her that signature grin of his and at the moment she thinks that everything was going to be okay.
A magic communication device rings and Asta answers, the screen displays the whole squad (except Finral who was still out) asking for updates. In which Noelle reassures them that she was just tired and that they will go home soon so there was no need for them to come. The rest of their afternoon was spent catching up, talking about random topics, bickering on the smallest things.
The following days pass and he has never left her side. Be it training, going on missions or simply relaxing on the couch in silence. For the most part it felt as though they were back to how they used to be. As for his feelings all that he knew was that he was glad to be with her again. Clueless like always, he suddenly wonders how Noelle knew she loved him when all he was sure of was that he liked her.
"Noelle?" Her eyes halt from reading and she turns to him with one eye brow raised.
"What is it Dorksta?"
"How do you know you love me?" The girl's reaction was immediate, with a bright red face water hits him.
"Hey—" It had been a while since he got hit by that again, she told him it happened whenever she was flustered. Maybe he should've expected that.
"S-sorry, the question just caught me off guard! I guess I never did properly confess...
At first I was just glad to have someone acknowledge my powers, you motivated me to get stronger but my feelings developed the more I admired you. I actually denied having them for the longest time. As you know, I'm royalty so imagine the backlash I would get if my family found out. Truth be told, I don't care that you're a magicless peasant. To me, you are so much more than that.
You're kind, hardworking, determined, honest, you would do anything to protect those in need, and you saved me countless of times—honestly how wouldn't I fall in love with you? But when I thought about it there was absolutely no way you felt the same for me. Perhaps that's how my curse started.
And by then there was really no point in denying how I felt, the flowers choking me were enough to convince me." He is suddenly reminded of how he discovered her feelings in the first place, seeing the blood, her passing out and the possibility of her never waking up. He realizes that he could very well still lose her. Instantly the fear he felt on that day came back full force and he wishes his feelings were clear so that she was cured.
Maybe she knew where his thoughts went because she immediately shakes her head at him in disapproval.
"I know I agreed with what you wanted, but I'd like to make it clear, I don't want pity love. You shouldn't be pressured to fall in love with me. If you truly don't feel the same way then I accept my death."She says, and it bothers him how she could be so nonchalant about it. As much as he appreciated her consideration of his own feelings, he would still prefer if she prioritized her health.
Speaking of health—he notices that she had reverted back to how she used to be. The bags under her eyes were barely there, her silver hair was as striking as usual and her complexion still had a residual blush.
"Actually, I can tell that it's working." He tells her and she questions how he knew.
"You look way healthier, you haven't coughed since and your ki isn't in pain anymore. In fact, it's really happy!" He realizes that it had been so long since he truly sensed it. This distinct ki that only she could possess, no sorrows attached just a gentle warmth that he always found comforting. At first he thought it was her boundless trust in him but now that he knew the truth it was actually her love for him.
"Huh now that you mention it, yeah I can breathe a little better too." She even takes a deep breath and was surprised of how little effort it took.
Asta shouts in glee, his enthusiasm was infectious as always and she lets out a small giggle. Hearing it makes him fulfilled, she had never been so carefree before. He admires the sparkle in her eyes and the slight quirk of her lips. He always thought she was pretty but he never realized just how closely he kept watch of her either. Heck hadn't he complimented her on the softness of her skin before as well? Had he fallen for her without even knowing?
"I know now, this settles it then."
"What do you—mmhp..." She fails to comprehend how quickly his hands went to her shoulders and how he brought their faces closer. The only sensation that registers was the gentle pressure on her lips, the fireworks in her stomach and flowers wilting within her lungs. Just like that he gives Noelle her first kiss midsentence, leaving her a blushing mess.
"Wha—why did—ho-how—y-you—"
"Be prepared Noelle Silva, because I'm gonna shower you with affection until you're fully healed!" He announces with as much determination as he can muster and the girl wasn't sure if her poor heart could handle more.