Chapter 20

Bellamy was standing outside Palla and Clarke's door. He'd been banging on it for a while. Palla missing breakfast wasn't that much of a concern for him or any of the others. Clarke and Octavia missing, well, that was something else entirely. He'd taken it upon himself to check on them. He figured that they'd overslept or maybe they'd gone to the Pins.

Indra told him that she hadn't seen them since Octavia's shift for guard duty the night before. Of course, she also didn't tell him that Clarke was sitting out there with her, either. Her brief conversation with Octavia left much to be desire, but she'd gotten the information that she wanted. The watch was secure, Octavia was still hurting, but she was getting through it. Clarke had stepped up with Madi to break through and bring back her Skaikru daughter. She wasn't sure how she felt about the man-child, but he seemed to have grown up a little more in space and with Echo. Maybe they would find a way to be a family again, but Indra wasn't counting on it. Bellamy still hadn't forgiven Octavia, and while it looked like Clarke had, it was Bellamy's approval that Octavia sought the most.

He beat on the door again. Thump, thump, thump. Echo was already on her way down to the stables and the Pins to train with Madi. She hadn't seen them either. But, she'd let Bellamy know that all the horses...caballos...were still stalled. Thump, thump, thump.

He was just about to go downstairs and demand that Raven find a way to unlock the door when Octavia ripped it open and stared at him like the world better be ending again. He took in her appearance. She had obviously been in bed, but she was dressed in some black short shorts and a tight black tank.

"Yeah?" she asked him.

"You missed breakfast."

"So?"

"I was worried," he told her.

"Were you really or were you more worried about Clarke?" she asked him.

With him not answering right away, she knew his answer. He was taken aback but her bluntness. He shouldn't be, he knew that, but he was. Something had changed Octavia in that bunker. She was still his sister but she wasn't at the same time. He didn't know how to approach her some days. He was still worried that she might pull out a dagger and plunge it into his heart for trying to poison her. After all, she'd fought beside Pike until he wasn't needed any more and then ran him thru with her sword. The only words on her lips "Jus drein jus daun." It was the first time that Bellamy realized that he didn't know his sister anymore. She'd grown apart from him and come into her own on the ground. But, he still felt like he had to do something because of the words that their mother had ingrained in him.

"My sister, my responsibility," he whispered.

"What?" she asked when she didn't hear him.

"I was worried about you," he stated.

"Why, Bellamy? Scared that I am going to get all high and mighty again? Scared that I am going to pick up a sword and try to conquer the planet?"

He just stared at her. His dark eyes saying what his lips would not. He was afraid that she would do that and that was why he always tried to be close to her. He wanted to make sure that they didn't make the same mistake twice. He couldn't let Octavia rule again.

"Don't worry, big brother. I understand. I don't want the power. I never did. But, you don't have to worry about any of that. If you'd talk to Madi or Clarke, you'd know that. I've pledged my life to Wanheda and I will not do anything to hurt her or her people."

Clarke, hearing her name, jumped out of the bed and headed for the door. She knew that it was the wrong move as soon as she did it, but she wasn't going to let Bellamy berate his little sister anymore. She grabbed some clothes, not paying attention to the fact that they were O's and not hers. She glanced in the mirror to make sure that all the bites were covered as stepped out of the room.

Bellamy looked her up and down. He turned to Octavia and then noticed the scratches coming over her shoulders. Four lines, evenly spaced and fresh. He looked back at Clarke's appearance and then back to his sister. When Clarke cocked an eyebrow at him, he almost broke completely.

"You've forgiven her that much?" he asked.

"Yes," Clarke said as she moved closer to Bellamy, putting herself between the Blake siblings.

"You've forgiven her for going after Madi."

"I forgave you for giving her the chip," Clarke quipped back.

He stared at them. Octavia started to smirk. Bellamy looked like he was about to pass out or his head was about to explode, either, she'd be happy to watch.

"Have you two?" he tried to ask.

"What do you want to know, Big brother?"

"I...really?" he questioned.

"Something wrong, Bellamy?" Clarke asked.

"He's mad that I got the Skai Prisa and he didn't," Octavia teased.

"O!" Clarke admonished.

They both knew that Bellamy had a working fundamental usage of Trigedaslenge, but it was nothing like theirs. Octavia had come accustom to talking to both Madi and Clarke only in the language if anyone else was around. She knew that Echo and Indra knew exactly what she was saying, but she also knew that they would never tell anyone either.

"I have to get down to the Pins. I have training to do and I need to check on the caballos. Is there something that you needed, Bellamy?" she asked.

"I...uh...no."

"Then, I'll see you later," Octavia told him before shutting the door in his face.

When they got back into Octavia's room, she finally noticed that Clarke was in her clothes.

"Um, Clarke, if you didn't want him to know..." she said as she pointed at her shirt on the blonde.

"Oh, for fuck's sake," Clarke replied as she took it off. "Not like your shoulders didn't tell anything either."

Octavia gave her a confused look before she turned to walk into her rooms adjoining bath. She glanced in the mirror. And, then she saw them. Claw marks, obviously from someone's fingers on her shoulder and collar bones.

"Clarke...you said not to mark," Octavia whined.

"But, yet you did."

"Sorry?"

"We both know that you aren't. You basically just told your brother that you got me before he did. Octavia..."

"I know. I know. Strictly platonic."

"You'd better change and head down to the stables."

"What are you going to do today?"

"I'm going to get with Raven and see what plans we can start on for the land that Palla is giving us. We might not be able to start until the Spring Thaw, but we need to have a game plan in place. Plus, I want to be able to gather some materials before we have to hole up for the heaviest part of Winter."

"Always something..."

"This time will be different, Octavia. I can feel it. I don't know why, but I can feel it. We'll get it right this time."

"We have to. We owe it to ourselves to live and not just survive. I'll see you later."

"Leida, Okteivia," Clarke told her.

Octavia changed and made her way down to the Pins. She found Indra there, waiting. She could tell that her old mentor had something on her mind and she was sure it was due to her brother's idioticness.

"Heya, Indra," Octavia said in greeting.

Indra nodded at her and then tilted her head towards a rack of swords. Octavia understood and moved to pick one up. She moved back across the Pins to where Indra, Echo and Madi were sparring. Instead of joining Echo and Madi, she moved closer to Indra. It was an indulgence at this time and Octavia knew it. They circled and circled each other until Indra finally began attacking.

"Fight me," Indra demanded and she was awarded with Octavia moving from defence to offense. "Good. Now, you must fight through the darkness. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks of you but Wanheda and Heda. They are the only ones that matter."

"And you?"

"You are my daughter, Skairipa."

Octavia smiled as she pressed harder. Indra growled as Octavia started gaining ground. She was proud. Octavia was probably one of the best warriors that she'd ever trained. She wasn't going to let her get brought down by her own head and especially not her brother.

"O!" they both heard someone shout from outside the fence.

Octavia turned to find her brother standing there. She shook her head. He didn't let that deter him. He jumped over the rails and grabbed a sword. Stalking across the Pins towards her, he came. Echo and Madi had stopped.

"Watch him," Madi told her guard.

Echo nodded. She was unsure of what her mate was doing, but she knew that if he tried to Octavia, her Heda's Skairipa, that she would have to act. She didn't want to strike him down, but she would. Octavia was more like an older sister to Heda and being that she was also Clarke's personal guard, it put Bellamy in a bad place should he attack. By not only Wonkru law but the law of "Jus drein jus daun," he would have to answer for it. Attacking Octavia would be the equivalent of attacking Heda or Wanheda.

She turned. She could feel Indra standing behind her. She didn't need to know that Madi and Echo were waiting to see what he was going to do. She already knew. Just like she knew that if he raised a hand to her in that moment that Indra wouldn't hesitate to strike him down.

"What do you want, Bell?" she asked him as she took a few tentative steps toward him.

"I want to talk."

"I think that you already said enough."

"O..."

"What, Bell? What do you want from me? Do you really want me to be dead? You've already told me as much. So, I doubt that there is anything else that you could say that could make me feel any worse than I already do. I know what happened in that bunker. I know what I became. Do you think that I like it? No, I don't. I did what I had to do in order to make sure we survived."

"You turned it into Ancient Rome, O. Gladiator fights in the pits, capital offenses, and all the other craziness...things that we were trying to fight and stop. You killed people to maintain your reign. I cannot..."

"Don't," she warned harshly. "Just don't. I've forgiven you for offenses that I shouldn't, Bell. So, either you forgive me or you aren't my brother anymore."

"O..."

"Choose!"

Bellamy said nothing. He heard it in her voice. She was resolute in this. Either he chose her or he lost her.

"My sister, my responsibility," he stated.

"Then find a way to forgive me," she pleaded.

"I can't. Not yet. I need time."

"You had a hundred and twenty-five years, what's some more?" Octavia replied, throwing down the sword she had in hand into the dirt.

Indra moved then. Slowly and methodically towards the man-child before her. If it hadn't been for Octavia's glance her way, she would have struck him were he stood. Instead she followed Octavia towards the stables, sheathing her sword, even though her hand itched to make him bleed for wounding her so deeply, again. When she finally caught her in the stables, she was saddling roan horse Palla had given her.

"Oktevia kom Wonkru," Indra started and waited for her to stop and turn.

When she did, she saw the pain in her eyes. She saw the hurt of having the one person that was always supposed to have her back fail her again. She stepped towards her, and even though, she'd been taught and she taught that love was weakness. She could see how it was breaking her.

"I forgave him for letting Lincoln get killed."

"I know, my daughter."

"I forgave him for the slaughter of the Army and sparing you."

"I know, my daughter."

"He is not my brother."

"No, but you will always be my daughter," Indra told her as she clasped her hand.

It was the last thing that she said to Octavia before she swung up on the caballo and rode out of the stable. She watched her ride towards the suns and hoped that Octavia would find some peace on the back of that beast. She also knew that she'd come back. Octavia needed space. She needed time. But, most of all, she needed her brother's forgiveness.