Episode 6: Revenge of the Aftermath

(Coyler's note: Bet you guys weren't expecting this,but here it is. God does it feel weird adding these in considering my original thoughts on them of being filler,but it turns out people kinda enjoyed them so I'm throwing my metophorical hat into the ring at trying to write them. Aftermaths will officially begin appearing in the series,though of course I won't say when. Just a hint,look for the pattern *wink wink*. Coyler,out!)

Darkness covered a room,silhouttes of people being seen. After a few moments there was an explosion of light which revealed a flashy film studio with the set of a talk show. A live audience was sitting in front of the stage,on which sat some couches and a single bleacher. A smiling presenter sat on a red couch in the middle of the stage and underneath a large monitor. Adjusting his hair,the blonde haired man addressed the audience, "Helllllo there everyone! I can't believe I get the honour of saying this,but welcome to the Total! Drama! Aftermath!" Topher exclaimed excitedly, "Boy is it good to be back on camera,we've got tons to go over today! With special guest appearances from the first four contestants cut from the competition in Total Drama Take 2!" he explained. "And us man,don't forget us" came a voice. Everyone looked over to the bleacher to see DJ,Katie,Sadie and Silent B,the remaining four who had not qualified to compete in the season. "I was gonna get to you guys...eventually" said Topher, "But since you went and INTERRUPTED me I guess we can give you a quick rundown" he said sarcastically, "They didn't make the cut for another season but we still ironically love them,welcome back DJ,Katie,Sadie and B!" he announced. Katie and Sadie waved energetically. "Hi hi hi! It's sooooo great to be back!" Katie squealed. "Oh my god I know! It's so,like,totally awesome!" Sadie squealed too. DJ nodded his head, "Agreed,nice to come back and see you guys again. That and I can't wait to see Dakota" he smiled. "B my man,anything to add?" Topher asked. B scratched his stubble and shook his head. "Silent and mysterious as always" Topher mused. Topher returned to the camera,but before he could speak yelling could be heard off stage to the right behind the bleacher. "Aw man,looks like the party's over before we could even start properly" Topher sighed as Blainley stomped out on stage seething. "Topher! What are you doing?! I'm the host of the Aftermath,not you!" she yelled,shoving Topher out of his chair. Topher crumpled in a heap on the floor as the audience laughed. "What are talking about? This is my turf" said Topher,picking himself off the ground and dusting himself down. Blainley rolled her eyes, "Since when?". "Since the bossman up top in the fancy head office told me" retorted Topher. "Not possible,because the 'bossman' told ME to host!" Blainley scoffed. "Maybe this guy intended both of you to do it?" piped up DJ from the bleacher. Topher and Blainley both stared at the giant as if he had said something awful. Blainley shook her head, "No no no,this is a one host job!". "For me" added Topher.

As Topher and Blainley continued to argue,the Peanut Gallery were growing bored. "Do we have to be here?" Katie groaned, "It's sooooooo boring". "Why is it such a big deal,Chris and Chef were able to share the spotlight for years without throwin a hissyfit" grumbled DJ. After more moments of boredom and arguing,B straightened his cap and walked over to Topher and Blainley. Pulling the two apart and holding them up in the air by the collars with a hand each,he proceeded to drop them and hand Topher his mobile phone. "What's the deal big guy? It's 2020,don't you got anything better than a Nokia flip phone?" Topher snarked. "Well he did lose last time,probably couldn't afford anything better" said Blainley. B face palmed in annoyance. "I think he wants you to call the producer to figure out who's in charge" said DJ tiredly. "...ohhhhhhhhh" they both said simultaneously. Dialing the phone it took a few seconds for anyone to actually answer. A fuming voice answered the phone, "WHO THE FUCK IS TRYNA CALL ME,YOU JUST MADE ME FUCKING LOSE ON RAINBOW ROAD!" it yelled. "Yo Mr Coyle,it's me" said Topher. "Me? Not ringing any bells man" said Mr Coyle. "C'mon man,you can tell by my voice that it's Topher" he muttered. "ohhhhh Tophman,what's the craic? You get that Aftermath started yet?" Mr Coyle asked. "No,no he hasn't because I'M meant to be doing it" butted in Blainley. "Oh for fuck sake,now who's this?" Mr Coyle grumbled. "It's me,Blainley!" she exclaimed, "This idiot was calling you and wasting your precious time because he wants to be reminded about the hosting job for the Aftermath show" she explained. For a moment there was silence on the line as the wheels turned in Mr Coyle's head. 5 minutes later it had all clicked in his mind. "Okay,I think I may have an idea of what's happened here" he said, "I remember I did chat with both of you and told you to host. Topher,think you got the green light after I finished doing a line of sniff with Sam Jones in a KFC bathroom,Blainley you got the go-ahead when I was back home on a drunken night out for my Da's 49th" he explained, "Look I'm really busy right now,gotta replay this fuckin Mario Kart cup to beat Donkey Bitch-Ass so you two decide between yourselves aight? I'm out" he said before hanging up the phone as the audience laughed.

Handing B back his phone and slumping on the couch,Topher was more than upset as he believed he'd be put on the hosting sidelines once again. Blainley was also unsure of what to do,since now she knew she had no authority and wasn't the one in charge. However Topher then had a lightbulb moment, "I got it! We've got 4 losers to talk to today,how bout I Take 2 and you Take 2. Whoever does the best gets the official title of Aftermath host" he explained. Blainley pondered the idea before shaking his hand, "Deal! I'll obviously win,but at least I won't be doing all the work for the first day". Topher nodded and turned to the camera, "Looks like it's finally time to introduce our first guest. He's a world famous model known for being good with his hands,as well as now looking like a pirate. Ittttttttttt's Justin!" he announced as the crowd cheered.

The crowd erupted into cheers and squeals as Justin proudly walked on stage from behind a curtain on the left side. He smiled and waved as he walked towards the guest couch and sat down,allowing the music to die down. "Justin! Dude! Welcome!" Topher announced, "As you can tell by the audience reaction,we're all very happy to have you here with us today". "Thanks man,this is great" said Justin. Squeals could be heard from the bleacher. "WE LOVE YOU JUSTIN!" Katie squealed. "TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!" Sadie squawked. Justin laughed and swished his hair. "You aren't really taking off your shirt,right?" Topher whispered. Justin shrugged, "What the ladies want,Justin gives" he purred. He grasped the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his revealing his 12-pack,sending all of the women in the room into squeals and cheers. "You are SO HOT JUSTIN!" Blainley cried,as Katie and Sadie fainted. Eventually Justin knew he had to end the viewing and put his shirt back on,knowing he was there purely to talk about himself. "Talk about 'drop dead gorgeous',which basically sums up Justin's few days of competing" said Topher, "Tell us Justin,what are your thoughts on your performance this year?". Justin stroked his large chin, "Wouldn't say it was all that great Topher,not gonna lie. I mean c'mon,I practically just spent the whole season being thrown around like a rag doll" he laughed, "Add me losing my eye and being the first one voted off leads to a black mark on my record". "Guess you just didn't have The 'Eye of the Tiger' this time round" said Topher. "You could say that" said Justin, "Maybe that film lot place has it out for me,considering every time I go there I'm left injured and disfigured". Topher leaned in trying to see under his hair, "Y'know if it ain't too hard,could you tell us about your whole missing eye mishap?". Justin nodded, "Sure sure,but there's not really much to tell. During that second challenge I got in some barbed wire,some of got caught in my eye" he explained, "When I was pulled free it came right outta my socket. Got rushed to the hospital for them to give me stitches and fix me up. Couldn't have my eye put back in so they gave me an eyepatch to wear for a few months before they put in some robot camera thing" he said as he finished his recap. "Camera eye,eh? Sounds like you'll be able to give the ladies a real a snapshot" Topher chuckled.

"Speaking of 'snapshot' I think it might be time for us to speak with our next guest!" said Blainley, "Ladies and gentlemen,weclome...Dakota!" she announced. The music started as Dakota slid out on stage,pulling poses for the audience before noticing DJ. "Hey babe!" she yelled at DJ,waving frantically. Running over,she practically lunged at DJ,the two falling behind the bleacher. Blainley leaned back to try and see them, "Okay Dakota,you've had your reunion with your man friend,now come back over for your interview". "I don't think she's getting up anytime soon,she's making out with DJ" said Sadie,looking behind the bleacher. Topher laughed, "Ha! Looks like that's your first slot done,guess I get to go again" he chortled. He turned to the camera, "And who's it gonna be? Find out when we return after the break!".

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Announcer - "Coming this next Summer,the return of the Catholic Church".

*shows 3 priests and a house keeper inside a Clergy House*

Father Ted - "How can this have been allowed?".

Father Dougal - "How can what have been allowed Ted?".

Father Ted - "The church rang me up and said a...woman is working as a priest with us".

*an drunken old priest wakes up in an armchair*

Father Jack - "GIRLS?".

Father Ted - "Um,not quite".

*a drag queen walks in dressed as a priest*

Drag Queen - "Why hello Christian Boys,let's go practice some preaching".

Announcer - "Father Ted: The Modern Days. Coming soon".

COMMERCIAL BREAK END

"Annnnnnd we're back!" Topher cheered, "Before the break we had a chat with Justin about his time on the show,then Dakota came out and began sucking the face off of DJ" he explained. "Those 2 are still going by the way" said Katie. "Riiiiight" said Topher, "Anyway,let's take some time to talk with our next guest. He's a classic Total Drama competitor,former feral beast and finalist of last season,let's hear everyone give a warm welcome to...Ezekiel!" he announced,as everyone clapped and whistled. For some reason however,nobody appeared. Topher pulled his collar, "Um,lemme try that again" he said, "Ittttttt's Ezekiel!". The music started up again but Ezekiel didn't appear. Topher muttered to himself in annoyance, "Doh c'mon! Where is he?". "Are you forgetting the monitor connects to the guest lounge?" Blainley smirked. Topher snatched the remote from her, "Yeah yeah yeah,I remembered" he grumbled. Switching it on,everyone could see Tyler and Ezekiel sitting alone in the lounge.

*inside the guest lounge*

Tyler was slouched on the couch as Ezekiel paced back and forth. "They called your name twice Zeke,you gotta go out there" said Tyler. "Do I? Do I really gotta go out there,eh?" Ezekiel asked,looking distressed. "Look man,you're just upset cause you lost again. It's all good,if you get called back for another season I'm sure you'll win it" said Tyler,trying to calm him down. "You say lost like it was a massive defeat,eh" said Ezekiel, "I quit the game for real important reasons". "Like what? The whole Noah being a traitor deal?" Tyler asked. Ezekiel shook his head, "Nope,worse than that" he said, "Bridgette...kissed me". Tyler was confused,pushing part of his headband up, "...huh?". Ezekiel nodded, "That's right. She kissed me. I can tell you're speechless in concern,eh". "Try 'speechless in confusion' instead" said Tyler, "You like Bridgette,why would her kissing you make you pack it in and go home?". Ezekiel sighed, "I dunno,it's hard to explain. She was all over me,broke it off and then suddenly wants me again,eh. How I am supposed to know what she wants?". Tyler rubbed his chin, "Sounds weird all right" he said, "But I guess we have a simple solution: Do you like her as a friend or a partner?". Ezekiel looked at him, "What?". "It's a simple question,do you wanna be her friend or play 'hide the sausage' with her?" Tyler laughed. Ezekiel also laughed and shook his head, "I guess I wanna just be her friend" he said firmly, "Don't get me wrong,it as cool having a girlfriend but we didn't really have much in common,eh". Tyler nodded, "Nice one,that's a good way to think about it" he agreed, "Would be like if me and Eva didn't like pumping iron at the gym". Ezekiel sat down next to Tyler, "So. I guess that's it,eh? I don't wanna date Bridgette no more" he said. "Seems like it" said Tyler. Ezekiel looked at Tyler, "Thanks bro". Tyler placed a hand on his shoulder, "Any time guy,any time".

Back in the main filming room,everyone was giving "Aw's" and "Oh's" as the two boys talked. "Wow,talk about soap opera,am I right?" said Blainley. Topher ignored her, "Bruh...why don't these guys have their own reality show" he sniffed,wiping a tear from his eye. "Think they'll be out soon?" Blainley asked. "They just started dude hugging,no way are they leaving" said Sadie. Topher shook his head to return himself to reality, "Even if they do come out,it's too late now" he said, "Cause it looks like we've run outta time". Blainley's pupils shrank, "WHAT?! No way is time already up!" she yelled, "We didn't decide who's the host!". Topher grinned, "On the contrary,the deal was that whoever does the best job today gets the job. Since both of your clients didn't show,it leaves you as the loser" he explained, "You thought the winner would be you,but it was me! Topher!" he declared. Blainley was seething with rage, "No no no! We just need to keep going till I win!". Topher laughed, "Alright,if we won't use my logic,we can ask the Peanut Gallery" he said. Topher turned to the Peanut Gallery, "Alright dudes and dudettes,raise your hand if you want me to take over as the official Aftermath Show host". "OOH! OOH! I want you to be host,your hair is so cool!" said Sadie. "I agree I agree!" chanted Katie as the two girls raised their hands. B also raised,clicking his fingers to give Topher some finger guns. Behind the bleacher,DJ and Dakota briefly raised their hands too before lowering them again. Topher seemed satisfied,however Blainley insisted asking for her turn. Unfortunately for her,nobody raised a hand,leaving her fuming with anger as she stomped off stage.

As she left,Tyler and Ezekiel finally appeared on stage and sat on the guest couch,along with Dakota who had finally left DJ. "Alright,let's talk about me" said Dakota,grinning as she rubbed her hands together. Topher winced, "Hate to say it guys,but we're actually out of time for today" he said,as Ezekiel,Tyler and Dakota sighed saddly. "Hey hey,don't worry bout it. We certainly got some entertainment by seeing you suck the life outta DJ" he said to Dakota. "And don't get me started on you guys,that shit got me majorly emotional" he said,getting smiles out of Tyler and Ezekiel. Topher turned to the audience, "As for you guys,don't think this is the last you'll of these guys and of us. Trust me,we'll have more to talk about here next time. But for now,I'm Topher Wilson and this has been Total Drama Take 2 - The Aftermath Show!" he announced,as the crowd clapped while those on stage waved at the audience.

(Coyler's note: Well this was nowhere near amazing,guess it'll take me a while before I fully evolve to the Aftermath style. Took me around 2 trials in Despair Academy before I got the hang of it,so trust me I'll crack the code eventually. For now,hope you did find some enjoyment of this attempt at an Aftermath,as Topher said there will be more to come. Won't reveal when though,as I said before just look at the pattern. For now,remember to follow,favourite and submit questions. Coyler,out!)