Chapter 05: "Gifts and 'Gifts'"
It had been nearly two weeks since Yukinoshita had revealed herself to be my attorney. And with that, came a slew of problems.
The district attorney's office was in the middle of Tokyo, easily accessible by almost six different train lines for the convenience of its workers. Primarily a civil law office, it was filled with administrative and bureaucratic positions; the hidden work-horses of society. From what Haruno had said, nearly 300 full time employees worked alongside 40 to 50 lawyers and processed the various civil and business cases brought before them. They essentially ensured that justice and the law were functioning forces in Tokyo.
There was also a momo restaurant around the corner, and apparently it's been getting some rave reviews. [1]
Even with my position as a lead detective on many cases, I wasn't as familiar with the building as I should have been. And that was entirely because of Haruno's predecessor. The man was there since the moment I entered the police force and was a thorn in my side from that point onward. He was a nuisance, but a nuisance who sat above me in the hierarchy, so the nuisance became squared.
He would constantly question everything. Progress was never his objective. He worked for performance benchmarks and metrics. He had this outdated idea that age implied ability. He also personally intervened in my interrogations and delayed cases by weeks.
He also let one go.
I 'disliked' him, and resolved to never visit the prefecture's DA's office.
But with Yukinoshita Haruno taking over the reins of the operation, me simply disliking the DA was no longer a valid excuse to avoid going to that building. I thought I had gotten away with it when communication with Haruno had dropped to a flat zero. How naive I was.
'When it rains, it pours' is an apt description for this ongoing time of my existence. If Yukinoshita Yukino reappearing wasn't enough, I had another demoness to deal with now. The presence of her little sister seemed to act as the green light for Haruno to come barreling straight back into my life like a rocket-powered dragster. The unspoken restraining order I thought we had both mutually agreed to, be damned.
I wasn't unintelligent by any stretch, but Haruno was just that much smarter than me. While I was playing checkers, she was out there playing 4-dimensional chess. She would use official work orders to have me assigned to cases she was working on, forcing us to be in frequent contact. Haruno liberally used this as an excuse to come and visit HQ, dropping in and plunging me in paperwork. A byproduct of these slightly-less-than-illicit goings was that it ignited the rumor mill in the department. Exactly what I needed.
My new DA made my life a living hell. And this was all after her first stunt which had already crossed the line. I wanted nothing to do with her.
So when Haruno asked me to stop by her workplace to go over some evidence for a case she was helming, I quickly tried to rope in Shiba to do the dirty work for me. However, my plan was foiled by the Chief, who said that avoiding my 'friend' wasn't healthy, and he had me pack up and head out as was requested by my superior. Bollocks.
I arrived at a rather scenic area in twenty minutes via train. Shops and people filled my view. Just before me was the building in question, and I heaved a sigh of resignation before entering. The foyer was covered in green tiles that looked black in the shade and a brilliant emerald in the sunlight. Large windows were present to let in the summer rays. Formally dressed individuals bustled around and the ambient volume was loud and filled with numerous conversations about the goings on of the real work behind the scenes of Tokyo.
I walked up to the receptionist's desk. My movement attracted the attention of the woman behind the counter.
A librarian. Was my initial thought when I looked at her. Her hair was tied into a sleek ponytail that revealed her forehead. She had a face with a button nose had a stern look to it, added to by the spectacles she wore. A white sleeveless blouse completed her outfit. She was rather pretty.
A charm that was spoiled when it morphed into suspicion as soon as she laid eyes on me.
"How may I help you?" Librarian-chan said, her voice having an underlying tone that reminded me of my teachers from middle school. It was negative, for sure.
"I'm, uh, here to see the district attorney." The severeness of her gaze distracted me, and I fumbled to find the words.
"Do you have an appointment?"
"... appointment?"
"Yes, an appointment. An arrangement to meet someone at a particular time or place." Librarian-chan condescendingly defined.
Was it my eyes? It was probably my eyes. "I know what an appointment is. And I don't have one. I was told to come."
"Then I'm sorry, sir." She placed a harsh emphasis on her final word, making me wince. She really didn't want someone who looks like a two-bit criminal in here apparently. "I cannot let you upstairs without an appointment."
"There has to be some sort of mistake. Yukinoshita Haruno told me to come at this time."
"Yukinoshita-san is already expecting someone now, unless you happen to be that detective in question."
"... do I really not look like one?" My mood plummeted as I sadly pulled out my license and badge to show to a dubious Librarian-chan. "I'm a detective from Tokyo Metro PD, I'm working on a case with the district attorney."
"Oh…" She trailed off, before her eyes widen as if she got whiplashed. "OHHHHHHHH…"
This can't be good. "... is something the matter?" I asked apprehensively.
Library-chan face became red like a beet and she tried looking everywhere but near me. "Y-yes! Everything is fine! … Yukinoshita-san had said that a detective from the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department would be stopping by today."
"O-O… kay?"
"Please don't stand so close."
"Excuse me?"
"I understand that you may be Yukinoshita-san's ex-boyfriend, but control yourself in this environment. Many people work here, so please refrain from making others uncomfortable with your intimacy. A-and she has warned me of your tendency to p-prey on s-single women. S-so, p-please don't stand so c-close."
THAT MINX!
"Okay, get whatever ideas you have in your mind, out of there! We have a purely professional relationship. Nothing more, nothing less."
My words seem to convince her somewhat, and I saw her exhale in relief. No doubt thinking that there was no way Yukinoshita Haruno would settle for someone like me. Which was exactly what I wanted her to think.
I needed to nip this in the bud before it festered into some monster of a problem and I would find myself the victim of a scheme invented by the legions of Haruno zealots that must exist in this building. I'll probably have a knife shoved so deeply into my chest, whoever could pull it out would be crowned King of Briton. [2]
"Yahallo! Hikigaya-kun it's so nice to see you again!"
My efforts to save my own life were torpedoed not two seconds later as Yukinoshita Haruno came bounding from some direction behind me and wrapped herself around my arm. I struggled to keep the blood from rushing to my face at the… sensations I'm feeling. Channel the words Marcus Aurelius, Hachiman, and do not let your mind indulge in sensory affections. [3]
Library-chan's mouth was wider than a Venus-flytrap's and just as stiff as she looked on at us in disbelief. As a matter of fact, so did everyone else in the lobby. I could feel my life expectancy shrink by half.
"Come, come!" Haruno pulled me away to the elevator and quickly whisked me away to her office before I could even shoot back a greeting… or cry for help. I momentarily met her aide, who gave me an apologetic smile and, to my dismay, left me to fend for myself.
I reigned in my emotions as Haruno gave me a smirk while we discussed the case of grand theft auto she had ensnared me into. An import car scheme where I had to trace VIN numbers internationally, with sellers stealing vintage collector cars such as Nissan Skyline GT-R R34s, Suzuki Cappuccinos, and Toyota AE86 Sprinter Truenos and selling them to American buyers without licenses and thus avoiding fees and taxes. They were also connected to an underground parts-market based around vehicles that were robbed from impound lots. The amount of RB26 engines that we had confiscated was enough to produce our own fleet of sports cars.
It was tedious, monotonous, and clearly made to get me annoyed. It was working.
Eventually, after some discussion we got the evidence organized and squared away. Haruno looked at me curiously.
"So…" She drawled.
Here we go.
"Yes?" I asked, glancing at her before returning my eyes back to my paper and pen.
"Merry Christmas!"
"It's the middle of July." I pointed out in a deadpan.
"Don't sweat the details." She brushed aside my straight-man response with grace, and for a second I thought I was the idiot who forgot the time of the year (silly me, of course it was the time to break out the mistletoes). "I already sent you a present!"
"..."
"... didn't I?" Don't pretend to be confused, you know exactly what you did!
"... what are you playing at?"
"Ara?" She blinked again, the impish smile disappeared as a calculating expression replaces it, elegant eyebrows descended her face. "I would have thought that you would appreciate the gift."
"Do gifts normally throw a man's life into chaos?" I accused.
"You don't sound too pleased…"
"I'm not."
"I was only trying to help out. You're such a sourpuss, I thought having a cute and familiar face would make you happy. Smile a bit more." That mock jubilance and concern irritated me. And I knew that she knew it was throwing me off my cool. It was working.
"I fail to see how often I flex my facial muscles upward to be any of your concern. Let's keep things completely professional."
"They are."
'They are' my ass. "This is way beyond professional, and you know it." I was unable to reign in my emotions and felt my face tense and my cheeks stiffen.
"Oho?" Haruno suddenly became highly interested in my face and gave me a cold smile. "So Hikigaya-kun can get mad afterall… or at least this Hikigaya-kun can."
I glared at her. I didn't like what she was doing, this pushing and prodding for a reaction. I wasn't some lab rodent, but I suddenly felt like a cornered rat. And cornered rats bite back. "Don't change the topic. We're talking about what you did, not me."
"Then why are you so angry?" Haruno looked genuinely confused and tilted her head. "Only good can come of this. You get a free lawyer of a quality I can vouch for and you get to reconnect with Yukino-chan."
"'Good'?"I repeated dubiously. "This?" I was about to grab a dictionary and offer it to her. Next to the definition of 'FUBAR' is probably a description of my everything. And it would be the antonym to 'good.'
Her eyes narrowed. "Are you angry because you're talking with people that know the old you?"
My eyes widened and my throat hitched. "I…"
"Or maybe because you can't run away… from all the comparisons?"
"What are you‒"
"Unless you're angry because of meeting her?"
What she was doing now was something I had done myself dozens of times. Dialogue designed to stab at your insecurities quickly and elicit a spontaneous reaction. She was giving me a probing question, hoping to see if she could take advantage of my self-destructive curiosity. It was working.
"No!" I said quickly, and louder than I wanted to. "It's not… that I don't want to… and I'm not angry… not really…"
Not anymore, I enjoyed talking with Yukinoshita. My words trailed off into silence, but that didn't last long.
"Then are you afraid?" Her violet eyes looked steel grey in the lighting of the room, and they were piercing.
"Afraid of Yukinoshita?"
"No… afraid that Yukino-chan might discover your deep dark past?"
"..."
"Are you afraid that she might condemn you, like the rest? Like your colleagues do? Oh, don't look so surprised. I have ears, you know. I wouldn't waste my time if I wasn't getting something out of it."
So those visits to HQ were strategic. How foolish of me, not knowing that this lady had mastered the 4 planes and was now engaged in 5-dimensional chess. She might prove string theory at this rate. [4]
"...," I said nothing, just gnashing my molars together uncomfortably. It didn't do me any good, of course. Communication wasn't always verbal. Sometimes the silences could be as‒ if not more‒ informative than the words spoken. To her, my every action probably said something. I was an open book, and the woman before me loved reading slowly.
"I wish you would have a bit more faith in my little sister. Besides, what you do or don't tell Yukino-chan is all up to you. I promise that I won't say a word."
Yukinoshita Haruno was many things, but a liar she was not.
"... how long has she been here for?"
"Hmm... about 5 months? She came back from law school in England and was getting certified to practice law here until a few weeks ago."
"She doing okay... with your family and all…?"
Haruno's face softened. "Everything is fine. You can rest assured that your hard work accomplished something. She's better off right now. We're better. All of us."
"Good... that's good." There were some things, it seemed, I didn't have to regret after all. I could hardly believe it.
Maybe you could have Christmas in July.
Δ▼Δ
The meal was spread out upon the table, and the participants for the feast were at their stations. The offerings for our stomachs were plentiful and delicious, and we would eat in earnest. My ability to cook is… sub-par for lack of a better (nicer) word, so the nights I was invited for dinner at the Tsurumi household was godsend for my health and taste buds.
There was only so much instant ramen and curry a man could consume before he decided that the conveniences of modern science were a conspiracy to deny humanity from experiencing the sensory pleasure that delicious food was capable of.
The sounds of clattering plates and utensils highlighted that eating was in fact a familial event. Speaking of my fellow eaters tonight…
"Earth to Hachiman!"
You might be wondering why this rowdy middle-aged woman who used to be my homeroom and Literature teacher in high school was currently in Tokyo. Nay, you may be asking yourself what she was doing sitting across from me in this particular house which was situated in Shibuya City, one of Tokyo's special wards. You see, my invisible friends and mental audience, this former teacher of mine had accomplished the impossible.
Hiratsuka Shizuka got married.
In what I can only describe as the work of divine providence, she had broken the spell of singleness cast upon her and had found some poor basta‒ I mean lucky man‒ who was willing to marry her. Such a brave soul happened to be our very own resident police chief, Tsurumi Kenji.
Imagine my shock when I traveled to Tokyo from Chiba after I returned from abroad, and saw a preening Shizuka waiting for me at the station. She proudly flashed her wedding ring and declared that God did indeed exist. [5] However, for some strange reason, Shizuka decided to keep her maiden name despite being absolutely giddy with her married life. Go figure.
"Yes?"
"We all started." She urged. "Go on, eat."
"..."
Dishes and plates get passed around, and I felt a shred of guilt when I notice that they made more food than usual.
"Sorry for bumming over all the time."
"Nonsense." Shizuka quickly rebuked my apology and gave me a warm smile. "I invited you. And besides, you're practically family now."
As she said, I was a frequent visitor to this single family home and took advantage of the services provided. Despite how much I loved being alone, it was nice having some company once in a while to let you know that the world was still turning.
The Tsurumi house had three members: Shizuka, the Chief, and their niece Rumi. Shizuka taught literature in a Tokyo high school, the one Rumi attended. Rumi's father was a Captain in the JSDF, so while he was on deployment, Rumi stayed with her uncle and aunt-in-law. She already thought of this place as her actual home and she also went to school here, so the transition was smooth.
Dinner was not a silent affair, as the Tsurumi family were never the type to be quiet over a meal. Conversation between the various members sprang up. Because of their schedules, they rarely met during the day, which meant that they could only catch up on what was going on in their personal lives at dinner time. The topic would quickly swap between school events and exams to current events and news. Naturally, the biggest talking point of the night was my own precarious legal situation.
The Chief succinctly summarized the case that Ouma Daichi's family had brought against me. Litigation had just begun, and the lawyers for both sides had their first discussion over the details just a few hours ago.
"I can't say that I'm not worried about this lawsuit. I'm afraid of what it might do to your mental health." Shizuka frowned.
"I've been taking my pills and I haven't had any episodes lately," I said confidently. "I've been keeping up with the training routine as well, so I think I'm as healthy as I can be right now."
"Don't worry about it, honey." The Chief reassured his wife. "He has the best lawyer possible, given to him from the Yukinoshitas themselves."
I nearly dropped my chopsticks. Oh no.
Chief, stop! Anymore, and you'll jeopardize everything! We can't give the emotional-terrorist any leverage!
Shizuka's ears perked at the familiar family name. "Who?"
"Their youngest daughter I believe, Yukinoshita Yukino."
Shizukas face transformed from shock into giddiness as she gave me a smug look. "Oh ho?"
I gagged. Dammit, Chief! Why!?
Cold sweat precipitates dover my back as I cowered underneath the dissecting gaze of Shizuka.
"Yukinoshita Yukino hmmmmmmm?"
Stop holding that syllable, you're a grown woman! Act like it!
"Aren't you a lucky man?" She teased. "Who knew you were born under such a good star?"
"Leave me alone." I grumbled and pass the plate of pickled ginger in the opposite direction, towards Rumi. Shizuka frowned at my childish antics. Hah! Petty revenge it may have been, but satisfying revenge it was nonetheless.
"What's the big deal with this 'Yukinoshita Yukino'?" Rumi asked, slowly pronouncing the tongue twister of a name as she carefully accepted the plate from me. Did Rumi forget Yukinoshita from the camp escapade an eternity ago?
I quickly glanced at Shizuka, hoping and praying that she would have the decency to keep my dignity intact. I sent her a pleading look with my eyes. The Chief observed our wordless negotiation with detachment, as if he was watching a tennis game on TV. Just an audience member, he had no desire to be involved. A smart man, in all honesty. My ex-teacher's smug grin became even more distorted as I saw an evil glint begin to shine in her eyes. There would be no mercy from her.
"Hold on!" I started, in vain hopes of intercepting her words. "Can we ta-"
I never finished my sentence as Shizuka loudly told the world my most sensitive secret from high school.
"You see Rumi, our Hachiman here used to have quite the crush on her in high school."
I cringed in my seat as a torrent of memories came up. I was such an idiot back then. Besides Yuigahama and Sensei, how did no one else notice? I would find myself staring at her mindlessly, attempting to memorize every aspect I could. I would stutter a bit whenever she directly addressed me. I couldn't think straight whenever she got close and I could smell her shampoo and perfume. The Service Club and its meetings were my own personal Tartarus, and I was the chained Tantalus.[6] I couldn't get close like I desperately wanted too, but at the same time was unable to free myself of the feelings I had.
And don't even get me started on that faux prom night. What what were we thinking?
All in all, it was a disaster befitting a completely SNAFU romantic-comedy set in high school. Thankfully, if I could feel embarrassed at my actions now, that probably meant I grew up a little and moved past that infatuation.
The Chief raised an eyebrow, but just returned to his food, either not surprised or not impressed (when you had a woman like Shizuka as your spouse, your standards tend to go awry). Rumi had a crestfallen face for some reason. She looked at me as if she lost her cellphone, with a mixture of hopelessness and disappointment. Her eyes evaded mine when she noticed my gaze.
I leveled my eyes at Shizuka and attempted to pin her with the strongest glare I had. Maybe I would suddenly develop superpowers and gain laser eyesight, hopefully vaporizing every atom of her existence instantly. Shizuka just gave me a cheeky smile, fully aware of the destruction she wrought, and relished in her handiwork.
This bitc‒
At that exact moment my phone began to ring, which quieted the table as three pairs of eyes fell on me. It wasn't that I was being rude by not silencing my phone before dinner. More so that they were surprised that I was actually getting a call at all. Me. Getting a call. From someone else.
Maybe Shizuka was right, and I was born under a lucky star. Lots of unexpected things were happening left and right as of late.
I fished the device out of my pocket, and my heart sunk when I saw who was calling me.
"Speak of the devil…" I whispered in defeat. I take that back. Definitely not a 'lucky' star. "Hello?"
"Hello, Hikigaya-kun?" The air around me was quieter than the depths of a catacomb, the sound of Yukinoshita's voice could be heard clearly by all occupants in the dining room despite my phone not being on speaker. Shizuka showed me a toothy smile that was full of malevolent energy.
"Y-yeah, it's me."
"Ah, ok. Good evening." She gave me a quick greeting over the sound of what seemed like rustling papers on her end. "Sorry to disturb you, but I wish to tell you something regarding the case."
"Gotcha, give me a sec."
I stood up and mustered as much outward zen as I could project as I excused myself from the table. The eyes of the Chief, Shizuka, and Rumi followed my every move. As I was about to close the secondary door to the backyard, I heard Shizuka loudly cat-call.
"Go get em, Casanova!"
Tch, the old wench. The gods may have given you a free pass, but I won't. I'll get you back for this, just wait!
"Did I call at at bad time?" Yukinoshita asked when I bring the phone back to my ear.
"No, not at all." I hurriedly assuaged her. "I was just finishing up dinner with a family friend. Actually, you might even know her."
"Oh? Who might that be?"
"Our former club advisor, Hiratsuka Tsurumi Shizuka-san."
"Hiratsuka-sensei?" Yukino repeats, before realizing that I had added another part in there as well. "Tsurumi?!"
"Yup."
"I-I wasn't aware that Hiratsuka-sensei had moved out of Chiba…"
"Yeah I wasn't either. Apparently she moved around the time she got married, hence 'Tsurumi'."
The sound of light giggling could be heard through the the phone. "I guess miracles do happen…"
Her levity elicited a chuckle out of me as well. It seemed we were both on the same wavelength regarding our favorite teacher and her romantic woes.
"That's good to know, I haven't seen Hiratsuka-sensei in forever. I'm glad she's doing well." The laughter in her voice was replaced with a more flat tone. "I'm afraid I'm calling about business tonight. Regarding the meeting I had with the Ouma family lawyer earlier today."
Sounded about right. Yukinoshita was never the type to drop someone a social call.
"Something happen?"
"Unfortunately." Began Yukinoshita was an exasperated breath. "The family refuses to compromise on a settlement out of court. They want to move onto a trial by jury."
"What?" I question, baffled by the turn of events. "Why, though? Isn't this an open and shut case?"
"It should be, but I am unsure of what their motives for escalation are." Yukinoshita paused, probably deliberating whether to say the next line or not. "I cannot confirm this information, but allegedly the son had taken out loans under the names' of his parents. The loans did not default with his death according to the terms he signed."
I could draw the conclusion myself: the parents were now responsible to pay Ouma Daichi's student loans.
"That does make sense…" I said as I remember the profile the Chief had be draw up. I don't know if I should be glad that I was correct or sad that I had foreseen the financial ruin of a family that was already grieving.
"They most likely want to go to court to wring out as much money as they can. I'm still not sure why they would risk such a thing, their position isn't exactly one that inspires confidence."
"I don't have that kind of money." I admitted freely. "I'm just a public servant, my salary is only slightly better than that of a normal police officer."
"Yes, I thought about that as well. I suspect that they want the police department, and by extension the state, to be the ones to foot the bill."
"This is a pain." I let out in frustration.
"I don't disagree with you, but it's something we have to work through. Your court appearance is in one week."
"I'll mark my calendars."
"Is that so? I'm sure you'll still manage to forget."
"Hey…."
There was light giggling on the other end. "Goodnight, Hikigaya-kun."
"Yeah. G'night, Yukinoshita."
Arc 1: "Detective Hikigaya Hachiman"
References:
[1] Momo's are Tibetan dumplings, usually steamed. Being half-Nepalese myself, these pretty things are ubiquitous comfort food. This is actually based off the time I had to serve jury duty. The case was kind of stupid, a mother was suing her landlord over a refrigerator and somehow it had evolved into a case about Brazilian liposuction. Anyway, the security guard was telling us about some places to eat and a new dumpling house that opened up was his top recommendation.
[2] Reference to The Sword in The Stone, the method by which the next King of Briton would be chosen in the legend of King Arthur. Whoever could remove the sword from the stone was worthy to be King.
[3] Marcus Aurelius was an emperor of Rome from 161AD to 180AD. Considered one of 'the 5 Good Emperors,' Aurelius was a warlord that expanded the Roman borders and also wrote down his philosophy on stoicism in his book titled, "Meditations".
[4] String theory is a theoretical framework in physics that tries to marry quantum mechanics and classical physics. It addresses many issues, but the math to prove it shows that we need 11 (Thanks to RalphZiggy for pointing this out).
[5] The founder of nihilist philosophy, Friedrich Nietzsche famously said "God is dead!" And ever since, every student of philosophy and most of society misquotes this and takes it completely out of context. Thusly destroying the actual, and rather uplifting, meaning of his work. Poor Nietzsche.
[6] Tantalus was a figure in Greek mythology who was sent to Tartarus (Greek equivalent of hell) for eternal punishment. He was forced to stand beside a pool of water as well as beneath a fruit tree with low hanging branches. Whenever he would attempt to eat the fruit, the branches would lift up out of his reach. Whenever he tried to drink, the water would recede. Such was his torment.
Author's Note:
This is my equivalent of the summer vacation arc from canon. Our protagonist has a week or so to c0me to grips with the changes of perception he's having in his life as well as those around him. I was particularly proud of the thematic threads I managed to tie together with Haruno. This will come back and matter in future chapters (Chapter 7 and 8).
Also took this as an opportunity to introduce Hiratsuka-sensei into the mix, and look at that! She's married! Kenji is Rumi's uncle, and both he and his brother started off as a blank slate characters. Kenji was a plot device to act as Shizuka's significant other. However, like Clint Eastwood, I couldn't stop until I had their entire lives drafted out and I had started thinking of them as actual characters in canon.
This chapter was intended to be more light-hearted, in preparation for the return to the blistering pace for the next three entries to Unmade. Prepare yourselves. Once again, you can interact with me directly on my SpaceBattles thread. Simply google Unmade SpaceBattles and it will take you there. All review questions or comments will be addressed there.
-SouBU
(Editor: XioKenji)
(BetaReader: Lord of Admirals 412)
PS: Can people please give me props for that string-theory joke? I still laugh to myself whenever I read it.
Revision Log:
03/17/2020: Re-uploaded with overhaul of tenses and changes in word choice and sentence structure as well as major grammar fixes.