Chapter 4: Indigo

~(Sometimes, I wonder. Is it all for naught? Sometimes, I wonder. Will I be forever losing a battle I never fought?

Sometimes, I know that I am a mere memory forgotten, left to rot. Sometimes, I know my presence alone is bad - I have been told that a lot…)~

Erza forced her smile to remain. Her voice was not full of irritation. "She gave you a cookie?"

"Yes." Jellal repeated.

"And you took the cookie?"

"Yes."

"And nothing more happened?"

"Nothing more happened."

"I see…"

"I did give my phone number to Levy." Jellal mentioned. His plain way of admitting such facts probably didn't bode well with Erza - he could hear her teeth gritting dangerously. He quickly went to further explain. "She's the girl that got everyone's contact information just in case she were to plan a meeting herself. I think she discussed it with Hisui - the host."

"And this woman? What was her name again?"

"Minerva."

"Right. You…?"

"No. I think she only gave her number to Levy." he answered the unspoken question. Of course, Hibiki had been insistent in 'getting the phone numbers of all the lovely ladies' as it had been put. But the guy had only gotten Levy's number in turn - Jellal could assume it was due to their work in information…? That, they shared, so perhaps they had plenty to discuss or something.

Sighing, Erza nodded. "So, it was held by Hisui. Participants besides you were Levy, and Minerva. Were there any others?"

"Yes - as I mentioned, Elfman, who brought the snacks." He frowned at her expectant look. Was he expected to reveal the whole thing to her? "And…there were a few others." Jellal lamely ended. It was probably best to be vague in his answers. Otherwise, he'd be grilled for every little detail. He blankly held her scathing gaze.

A silent staring contest ensued.

If Erza was trying to read his mind, she was failing spectacularly. He watched her scowl, brows creasing. Or maybe she was succeeding…Jellal couldn't tell.

The sound of the microwave finishing had them both flinch.

Jellal guessed, "Pizza?"

A tight smile was thrown his way. "Yeah." Erza hummed, walking away from the table to get the food. Although food was an exaggeration. It was not the proper thing to have for a meal.

Not that Jellal was complaining.

Erza arrived with the pizza. She took her seat in front of him, and took a slice. From her seat, her hair shone with the afternoon sunlight. Quietly, they ate.

"…You didn't have to check on me." Jellal stated as he took the last piece of pizza. His eyes found hers, and he admitted, "I can actually take care of myself."

A light blush spread across Erza's cheeks. "I know that!" she said after swallowing the mouthful of her pizza. Turning to look out the window, she took another bite, then chewed on the final bite slowly, keeping her silent treatment.

But Jellal didn't mean anything bad by it…She should be with her friends…

He took a sip of his water. Daring the words out, he stared at her, even if she failed to meet his gaze. "I can take care of myself. You say you know that. If that's the case, you should be going camping with your friends right now." He found himself intently staring at his half-empty glass, slowly tracing the droplets of water on his glass. "I'm sure they already want you by their side - and didn't you say it started before the weekend? You shouldn't drop by just to tell them to behave." How could she do such a thing? Did she not say they were best friends that spent their camping trips together, enjoying it to the fullest?

"You should be with them - you don't have to constantly check on me…" he bit his lips to stop himself from saying more. Glancing up, he saw an emotion so…

It had been absent for a while now - those eyes Erza looked back with. One of devastation?

Something fragile shone in her eyes.

Fragile.

What did Jellal say to receive that look? Sighing, he looked away for a moment. He should fix this. For sure, this would cause a landslide going backwards in all the progress he had with her so far. Locking back onto her gaze, he parted his lips to speak. He must've messed up and said the wrong thing, so he could apologise, then rephrase-

"Do I…mean nothing to you?" she asked. Her voice was quiet, fragile - but Jellal hadn't seen anything fragile in a while. Especially not in her eyes or tone. Still, that emotion remained in the watery gaze staring right back at him, and Jellal opened his mouth to deny such a statement. Of course she meant something to him! She meant everything to him - but his throat closed up at the glare she was fast to wear.

She spoke first. "Do you not wish to spend any time with me?" Erza blinked back tears, but her hands, strong, slammed the tabletop, his glass cup wobbled, and she furiously glared at him, screaming, "Shall I just take my leave and never come back?!"

"I didn't say that-" Jellal began weakly, nowhere near the intensity, the strength Erza had when she spoke. "-I'm speaking the truth. Your friends wait for you. You shouldn't-" You shouldn't waste your time with me.

It was at the tip of his tongue. He could say it and get it over with as usual.

Like a box with truth he'd repeatedly used. Taking whatever line to speak those honest words. But then…A box full of lies appeared out of thin air. Well, Erza had been the one to make it. He almost always kept it locked. Out of use. But the lock? The lock, he had been forced to discard. Now, the box of lies ran wild.

So, like those rare few times that were becoming a more common occurrence, he let the true statement fall and in its place took something tasting like ash and lies, the deceitful words escaping. "-You shouldn't spend your time with me." Although she wasted her time, her belief that it was not a waste proved her blindness. She knew of his terrible deeds. She had witnessed them all. So, at least, half of her sight must be fine, the other half blind. And really, she should be with her friends…"Not when you should be with your friends."

He stared at his wrists. They were not bound, but still, they felt heavy with the invisible restraints. There was no escaping repercussions of his past actions. He did not deserve such a wonderful time with her. Even if he wanted it. It felt cruel, but he stomped out any desires of his own. Cruelty was something he very well earned.

"I'll still be here when you come back, alright? You can spend time with me later on." he said softly.

Erza stood up wordlessly. Her footsteps neared, and Jellal felt a warm hand on his shoulder. Her grip tightened when she talked. "Remember, I'll always be by your side."

Something cracked inside Jellal, and he couldn't speak.

Was this what he wished for? Hisui had told them to figure out what they wanted at the end.

Did he want this? This…peace he found with her?

Even if he may not be worthy of such a thing, could he still have it? Did he want it? Did he want this?

The warmth of her hand disappeared. It left him colder, and he raised his head to watch her walk to the door. "Don't do anything stupid…I'll be back soon." Erza said.

Did he want this…?

He was hit with clarity when he heard the door click shut.

That warmth, kindness, peace she brought - he wanted. He wanted it all so much - the desire he finally realised he had, overwhelmed him.

Perhaps the first step hadn't been much of a challenge. Finding what he truly wanted to have at the end. It had always been right in front of him. She was always with him, no matter how much he pushed her away.

Outside, the tree by the window moved with the wind, the leaves rustling. Inside, he heard his own breathing. It was so quiet all by himself.

His elbows on the table surface, he lowered his head, hands tangling in his hair. "Erza…" he breathed.

Yes, he knew. He should not be even considering wanting something. He deserved to be punished for his crimes - that meant, he could not fall in love with someone so good. She walked a path he never had. Probably, he never would walk such a path. He could try. Walking the path of light seemed impossible for someone like him. Still, he would make that his goal. If he could do good, if he could be good…Though it may be a childish dream, something impossible. If he proved Erza wrong…

She would see there was no hope for him. She would lose hope in him. She would leave him.

But as long as Erza was alive, as long as she was happy…That would be enough for Jellal.

He turned to watch a bird perched up on the ledge outside the window.

The sun lowered in the sky. Soon enough, the sky darkened, the moon began rising up, evening turning to night.

A restaurant closed its doors, the entrance changing the sign from 'open' to 'closed'. Two chefs wearing aprons and grins moved around in the restaurant with plates in their hands. Chatting about, their work continued on until late at night.

Morning came all too quickly.

One certain house had two people finishing up breakfast. Both had a few bites left in their plates, but they were both looking at their electronic devices. Staring up from her phone, the screen showing new contact numbers (the two of them had a short argument about the existence of those), Levy slowly said, "Hey, Gajeel?"

"Hm?"

"Can you run a background check on someone?"

"Who?"

"Some guy I met at the event."

Gajeel looked away from his device. "Who? And why? Did he look dangerous or something - did he do something to you?"

"No, no." Levy shook her head. "I just wanna check and make sure he's not dangerous. Just wondering if you could show me his 'rap sheet' is all."

"Sure." he agreed.

A moment of hesitation, and Levy went ahead, saying, "His name is Lyon Vastia." Back at the first meeting, when they were writing their names, she'd snuck a peek at the paper as he'd written his name. It felt a lot like she was invading privacy…The twisting and turning inside her had to be proof of the guilt. One side of her mind shouted at herself for ever doing such a thing. Still, her curious side won, and she continued her request. "I'm asking this just because I wanna be sure it's nothing."

The sounds of a mouse clicking and tapping on a keyboard filled the comfortable silence.

"That was fast…Alright, so…I only checked for any crimes, felonies…This guy doesn't have any criminal record. No offences of any kind - not even a measly parking ticket. Clean as a whistle." Gajeel informed when he got the results.

Levy hummed in thought. She had been just as shocked as every other person in the room at those words - the words so shocking she had been taken aback in a way she hadn't recently. But there had been a clarification, 'a graze' he had told them. But she needed confirmation of details, even if it felt wrong to. It was - pure and simple - violating the privacy of a stranger. Still, she needed to know. And it seemed like no charges or anything were placed…

So, an accident? She could imagine it to be an accident. Two brothers, probably going hunting in a forest, maybe, and accidentally shooting…?

If it wasn't written as a criminal record - then it had to be nothing out of hostile behaviour. She was sure of it. An accident. That must be it.

"And those guys in the event know you've got a boyfriend? They know if they mess with-"

"-Yes! I told them, and they backed off, so don't get all threatening!" Levy laughed. Her big and strong boyfriend would kick them into next week if they tried anything and she knew this. But there was nothing to worry about.

Snorting, Gajeel gave her a lopsided smile. "They better know their place."

The two of them talked as the sun rays hit.

Some people were just in positive moods, it seemed.

Time passed, day turning to night, and Wednesday arrived.

"Woah, you look ravishing in that blue dress." Hibiki slyly remarked.

Minerva went inside the room without a look at the man on the phone. She took a seat on one of the many empty chairs. The womaniser followed and sat right next to her - as predicted. She crossed one leg over the other, flipped her hair, clicking her tongue. "This isn't blue. The correct term for this colour would be indigo."

"I thought that was, like, a flower." Brandish deadpanned, sitting across from them.

"Actually," Levy began from Brandish's right. "Indigo is both a flower and a colour."

Brandish nodded with her eyebrows raised at the fact. Asking questions led to conversations. And that was socialising. Communication, she could do to be better with her social skills…Turning to the other two in the room, she blankly asked everyone, "Do you guys have a favourite colour or something?"

"I think all colours are manly!" Elfman said.

"…I don't have a specific favourite." Jellal finally answered the expectant look from Brandish.

Minerva shrugged, and Hibiki answered with a cheesy line of 'the colour of your eyes' - though Brandish gave no reaction - and then Levy began a rant about the different amazing qualities of each colour. The talking went on, and on, a calm in the air.

Lyon later entered the room frowning at the ground. "Hey, Lyon!" Elfman called. "What's your favourite colour?"

"I don't know."

"Come on. Be a man and tell us! You must have a favourite."

Sighing, Lyon took a seat, face scrunching up in thought. "I guess…Blue?"

"Nice. Blue is a cool colour." Hibiki said, and shared a look with Levy - the two snickered at some joke they knew of. Blue was a cool colour.

What a bunch of geeks…

A few minutes more of chit-chat, and Hisui rushed through the door carrying a long rectangular box. "Sorry, everyone." Walking to the closest table, she put down the large box. She opened the box to have some small green things peaking out. "It looks like just about everyone's here before me again." she exhaled.

Furrowing her brows, she glanced at the few empty chairs as she stood by the door. She had been informed by Loke - the charming orange-haired male with sunglasses - that he wouldn't be joining them this week…He won't be joining us…No new participants…she thought. There had been no alerts of anyone joining from the website. It specifically said on the website 'Anyone can join at any time!' and, the first meeting, she had both expected more people to have arrived, and at the same time, she had been surprised at how many had joined.

There were categories already formed in her mind of the issues revealed of each participant. She'd love to help, and hoped they would all be happier at the end. An alcohol-dependent, which would require Cana's own personal resolve to go through. Similar to her going through her drinking with willpower, to leave such a thing behind her, Elfman also needed his own will to do the same. Losing a loved one could not possibly be something one would get over. But, both of them needed to find it in themselves to focus on the good.

Another category was…Three people who took ill actions in the past - with blood on their hands? She couldn't be certain about Minerva, but guards from the facility had mentioned the ill-thoughts and actions of Jellal, and Lyon had admitted to a rather gruesome fact - or it was not as bad as it had sounded, a mere small scratch?

Those seeking improvement in their social life - Brandish, Yukino, and…

Well, Loke - he had emailed her privately before their first meeting. Not detailed, but enough for her to have an understanding. Similar to Yukino's losses, Loke had also lost quite a bit, under that charming facade lay uncertainty.

Speaking of charming…Loke and Hibiki both had issues with relationships, and that was another category. Levy as well wanted an improvement in her relationship, in a way.

She turned to the participants in the room. "Where's Cana and Yukino? Do any of you know if they're going to be joining us today?"

"Yukino texted me saying she's busy. She won't make it here today." Levy informed.

Hibiki cleared his throat, and added, "And Cana won't be joining either. She told me she'd be here another time."

Hisui nodded. She went to take the three empty seats and add them to the extra chair pile by the windows. "Alright. Today, we will be doing our first activity! We'll be going outside for this, but first, I'd like all of you to come and have one of these."

There were tree saplings in small bags, a dozen of them, everyone saw, and one by one, everyone carefully took one.

"I feel like this'll be fun." Levy quietly squealed in delight. Walking beside her, Brandish nodded at the statement.

Almost all of them were commenting, Elfman exclaiming how much of a 'manly activity' it was - the only person explicitly acknowledging his 'manly remarks' being Jellal who only, really, hummed. Hibiki 'unsuccessfully giving hints of love to Minerva' yet still trying. Levy brightly discussed facts about the tree saplings, how it would grow, when it would grow, what it would require, what might happen, and things Brandish seemed to be listening to - although there was no way to tell how engaged she truly was since all she gave were little responses, small comments to the detailed information.

Once they exited out the backdoor, the warm air welcomed them. The morning sun shone brightly, and greeting them was also a garden on the sides, gardening equipment sitting outside the door to their right. In the middle the two gardens were rows of mud dug up and already prepared for them to plant their saplings.

"Today, the weather is wonderful, so I thought we could take advantage of that." Hisui said, her hands busy planting her sapling. Some of them had already begun with her instructions on how to easily do this activity. "Just like these might one day grow to be trees, I am certain that all of you have the chance to achieve your goals."

Small conversations began afterwards. While everyone busied themselves with their task at hand, having found the chosen place in the large garden, wind softly blew.

\|/

Yo (imitating a certain chill tone)

XD

Hello! c:

I've changed certain things since it's human AU - I'm sure it's a little noticeable - like the relationship between dragon slayers & motion sickness

Thanks for the review CharmGirlLove - I believe things will be more clear soon, tho who knows how things will play out? And - Agreed, Lyon is a cool guy (get it? Cool? Ha - I know, I'm quite hilarious *cackling at poor attempt of a joke*)

Lots of different stories occurring simultaneously, I know - and I do love myself some stories (But this story is about 4 main characters, the sideliners gotta have little spotlight) Anywho - soon things might get a little more…severe, in regards to the level of violence, I guess? (Ominous, I know) (But seriously, just warning ahead of time - there will be violent parts - there is a reason I made it General, Hurt & Comfort - I couldn't pick another beside the obvious one)

Of course, only time will tell how everything'll turn out

Without further ado - Adieu XD - c u later!