Chapter 14: "To Take Pity is to Take"

It was a risky situation

That was actually underselling it: this was FUBAR.

The noon sky was cloudy, making the office building at the street corner stand out even more than usual. Not that this was required, the building was probably the most important location in all of Japan at the moment. Before the glass doors of the ground floor was a sea of police cruisers on the roads, with their red and blue lights flashing. Cars were angled to form a wall before the building. Officers with tense faces took cover behind their vehicles, pistols in hand and eyes laser focused on the doors.

The loud beating sound of rotating wings caused me to tilt my head upwards and watch as a black helicopter hovered in the air, circling the building. This was the fifth helicopter that flew overhead in the last hour. Three being police and the other two media. Speaking of the media, reporters and news vans were far behind us, separated from our fortification with yellow caution tape.

The occasion?

At 8AM today, 10 armed men stormed the Tokyo Embassy of the Philippines in Japan. They entered the building and began firing into the ceiling, and quickly took control of the building. With working hours beginning at 9AM, the offices were relatively empty, but as a result they were able to completely corral 34 hostages on the 8th floor. Police officers were at the scene within minutes, and after an hour, what felt like every every law enforcer in Tokyo showed up for the spectacle.

Your's truly was also called in.

The terrorists claimed to be members of the Filipino rebel forces, the same ones that were currently occupying the country's capital, Manilla, after having ousted the loyalists. Their 'request' was simple: they wanted Japan to release captured rebel soldiers and high ranking officers before they were transferred into American custody. They threatened to kill the first hostage at 1PM should their demands not be met.

The negotiator had established a line of communication, but the terrorists would not budge on their demands. Things had escalated from bad to worse when gunshots could be heard. Negotiators managed to get information from the terrorists, and the news was not pleasant. One of the hostages had attempted to fight back against the terrorists and was subsequently shot, but was not yet deceased. With the possible death of a Japanese citizen on the line, the Japanese government had no other cards to play and sent for their best men to deal with the situation.

A black armored van pulled up around 11:30 AM. It was unmarked and had an air of intimidation around it. This was further strengthened when the back doors opened and 8 soldiers that were armed to the teeth stepped out. Large white letters on their backs spelt 'SFG,' the only identification we could see as their helmets had tinted visors covering their faces. I had given a low whistle at the appearance of the Special Forces Group, which earned me a befuddled glare from one of the nearby officers whose complexion was pale as a ghost.

At 11:57 AM the SFG force had begun their breach.

It was now 12:01 PM.

"You look calm, Senpai." Shiba whispered from my side, his fingers wrapped around his gun. It was diminutive revolver, the New Nambu Model 60 double action. A staple for all police officers in Japan. His grip on the weapon was tight, I could see the blood leaving his knuckles. I scoff mentally, he wouldn't be able to hit a thing with how rigid he is.

But he was aware of his current state, and began a conversation in an effort to distract his mind and relax. Just as the textbook said. I looked forward once more, leaning on the window of the car "Well, yeah. Not like I'm the one storming the beaches."

"Is that a good idea?"

"Shiba, they're Special Forces. If they can't do it, do you think we can?"

"That… might be true." Admited Shiba, his face taut. "But what if?"

"This is this. That is that," I said with a solemn intonation, hoping I sounded like a Buddhist monk. [1]

"... sometimes I don't know how you do it, Senpai."

It was something I couldn't really expect him to know. Shiba was never part of military training exercises and so he never had a chance to see SFG men at work. To be in SFG was an honor, if purely for the fact that you were even asked. They only took the cream of the crop from all forces, and then further combed through for the perfect soldiers among their best.

I had seen a few SFG training raids in my time, and it was like watching a ballet recital, but with guns and lead. They moved like lightning, blitzing through doors and corners with mechanical precision. Every member was capable of eliminating simulated targets with uncanny accuracy, to the extent you would have thought they were all the dedicated marksmen of their old squads.

The SFG were our best. If they couldn't do something, the only people we could call would be 6 and request team Rainbow's assistance

And they didn't even exist. [2]

So what use was there in sweating over this? I wasn't overly patriotic or anything, but I had confidence in the SFG. I took a look at the time on my smartphone. It was 12:02PM, which means….

Murmurs began among the gathered police, and I looked back at the entrance. I caught a glimpse of motion behind one of the windows. The glass doors swung open and men and women in civilian clothing came racing out, followed up by the SFG soldiers garbed in black gear and helmets with rifles at ease and pointed downwards. Two of them beckoned waiting paramedics inside, and the medics rushed through with a stretcher following after them.

I patted Shiba's back. "See? Nothing to worry about."

Like clockwork, SFG went in, eliminated all the terrorists, and extracted the hostages in exactly 5 minutes. News reporters and camera men scrambled to get footage of the release and the securing of the man "who was injured as he bravely resisted the terrorists" as one live broadcaster spoke into her microphone. I wouldn't be surprised if the papers tomorrow told a sensational story that turned his impulsive stupidity into some type of heroism.

"Wow, they're really kitted out." Shiba commented as his eyes look over a small gathering of SFG members that were chatting to one another.

They wore identical gear for the most part. Form fitting plate armor went over their chest, ribs, arms, thighs and shins. A black fabric covered the rest, including the neck and legs. Their helmets and combat goggles protected their head and eyes, with face plates going over the mouth and nose. It was a complete full body armor set, a recent development for infantry. It was thinner than the tactical armor of just 5 years ago, and looked like something out of a sci-fi novel.

"Yeah they are." I responded. My eyes trailed to the weapons in their hands. It was a rifle I had never seen before, possibly 80 centimeters long, not counting the suppressors that were attached to the barrels.

Curious, I took a closer observation. Picatinny rails sat on all four sides of a rectangular perforated floating handguard, with a vertical grip at the bottom. Sights adorned the top rail; the choice differing from soldier to soldier in the group before me as it was personal preference. The overall shape was similar to an M4, but even more compact, and the dull color of some areas implied that it had more polymer parts than its American counterpart. Could this be the carbine variant of the Type 89 that was supposedly in final stages of development? They must have started limited production.

"Senpai." Called Shiba, breaking me out of my thoughts. "Their vests don't look like the ones we use."

"Ah, you don't know about Aegis?"

"Aegis? Like the shield?" [3]

"Kinda. I'm talking about the brand name thats referring to that."

"No, can't say I have."

"Mmm, well in Germany some materials company made a new type of body armor. They called it the 'Aegis Ballistics Armor System.' Was big news, even made national television."

"What's so special about it?"

"It's made of two layers. The outer layer was some carbon weave thing that was crazy hard. The inner layer was a cloth with gel in the middle."

"Gel?"

"Yeah, I think it's called liquid body armor? When it gets hits it becomes solid, but it's liquid the rest of the time so it can bend. The Germans made a nanogel or whatever. Really useful, you can use it to cover places conventional armor doesn't, like the neck."

"Huh, so the outer layer stops the bullet from penetrating, I'm guessing. The inner layer absorbs the force?"

"Yeah, the liquid body armor makes sure you don't have too much trauma. It's rated for some minor calibers as well, 9mm included. The biggest selling point is that it's a ton lighter for the same or better protection."

"That sounds amazing! Why don't we have more?"

I shrugged. "Price I guess. Government started throwing more money into defense after the SEA blew up. Not really much of a shock that spec-ops teams get the fancy new stuff first. It'll eventually trickle down. Prices will go down too when the Germans lose their patent."

"Did Senpai ever use them? You sure know a lot."

"Nah, I used the ceramic and Kevlar vests. My old C.O. just keeps me in the loop about this stuff. He said that he tried one out a month or two ago."

"Oh…" Shibas words trailed off as he looked at the soldiers with a bit more interest with the new information at hand. "Uhhh, Senpai? One of them is looking at us."

"Come again?" I turned to see what he was talking about. Sure enough one of the futuristic armored men was starting right at us… wait, actually I felt like he was focusing on me. Just as I began having these thoughts the strange soldier began to remove his armor. First lifting off his tinted combat goggles, then unlatching the face plate, before freeing his head from the whole helmet assembly.

The first thing I noticed was the black hair with a few loose strands that fell over the soldier's face. His face was young, around my age, if not a few years older, if I had to say. Sharp brown eyes completed an equally sharp look, as expected of a put together soldier of the SFG.

The man grinned when his eyes caught mine and he straightened up and gave a picture perfect salute. Something clicked in my head, and I recognized him.

"Holy shit… its Takuya." I breathed out in disbelief. Protocol kicked in and I bring a hand to my temple, returning a lazy salute back. Tatsuya's grin grew a smidge wider at the motion, and I found my lips curling as well. We shared a nod before his attention was called by what I assumed was the leader of his team.

"Senpai, you know him?" Shiba asked, his eyes following Takuya's back as the SFG team loaded back into their van.

"Yeah, actually do." I shook my head to reorient myself. I felt a little elated at seeing a familiar face after so long. "He used to be in my squad back when I was serving with the JSDF, Takeuchi. He was a fellow Senior Private… or rather he used to be. Who knows what rank he made now."

Takeuchi Takuya was a rifleman on my squad, and also part of my survival team when we were stuck in that jungle for a year. Only being 3 years older, he was the closest to me in age on the squad. Takuya was the brightest star among all of us. He was a soldier who followed orders, was as fit as a horse, had high combat IQ, and was seemingly good at everything. From hand-to-hand, to shooting, even recon, he could do it all, and do it better than anyone else.

Takuya was one of the most reliable men I knew, and I can say I owed my life to him a few times in Sri Lanka. And I knew without a single doubt that he'd risk his life for mine, and he had on multiple occasions. He was my comrade.

"He's SFG?" I asked quietly to no one in particular. "I guess it was only a matter of time."

Was this levity in my chest, pride? From seeing someone I know achieve great things? Who cares, I was just glad to see him doing well.

It was so much easier being happy for someone else.

Δ▼Δ

[Yukinoshita Yukino POV]

To my surprise, Hikigaya Hachiman had contacted me earlier in the day, saying that Hiratsuka-sensei had invited me over for dinner. Her house was close enough from his apartment that it was only a twenty minute walk through a quiet neighborhood to reach our destination.

It was a modest home with a backyard. White sidlings for the body of the house with a speckled black and grey roof. The front steps were of brick and metal, and lead up to a wooden door, stained brown and lacquered. There were two floors, enough for a single family to reside comfortably in.

Hikigaya-kun didn't even bother to ring the doorbell or knock, he just turned the doorknob and walked in, loudly announcing his entrance.

"I'm home!"

I'm absolutely shocked on two counts. One, that the family had just left the door unlocked. Two, the way he barged in like a battering ram. I quickly followed him in and closed the door after I entered, carefully making sure to engage both locks before turning around to the interior of the house.

"Welcome home!" Hiratsuka-sensei's greeted him, her voice coming from down the hall. "Is Yukinoshita here as well?"

"Indeed! Her highness has decided to generously grace us with her presence."

I frowned, and prepared a retort but stop when I see Hiratsuka-sensei poking her head around the corner and looking at him with dissatisfaction. "Why are you like this?"

My former club-advisor noticed my presence and she gave me a familiar childish grin. "Oh hey, there's a face I haven't seen in a while. Welcome to my humble abode, Yukinoshita."

"Oh!" I quickly bowed. "Where are my manners? Pardon the intrusion, Hiratsuka-sensei. It's nice to see you again."

"Shizuka!" A angry voice called out and a peeved Tsurumi Rumi storms around the corner, a frilly apron covering her front. "You left me in the middle of frying the karaage!" The teenagers eyes met mine and she nodded curtly before noticing another's presence. "Oh Hachiman, welcome home."

"Yeah, I'm home." The man responded, somehow having teleported to the couch from his previous position beside me. He had a remote in hand and quickly flipped through the channels. His way of letting us know he would be preoccupied until dinner.

Hiratsuka-sensei shook her head as she turned to me. "You eat yet?"

Dinner preparations continued on for another hour. Hiratsuka-sensei and Rumi prevented me from helping, Sensei reminding me that I was the guest and should relax. So I ended up sitting on the couch adjacent to Hikigaya-kun and watching whatever program was on at the moment. We were soon joined by Chief Tsurumi who greeted Hikigaya-kun and I, the former getting a hearty slap on the back. The hiss of pain and enraged muttering made it difficult to suppress my mirth.

Sensei called us for dinner. As I sat down at the table I'm met with a full course spread: rice with nori and furikake; miso soup; pickled cabbage; a Western Ceaser salad; spicy karaage; Chinese-style bell peppers and beef stir-fry; some assorted greens boiled in dashi; and some freshly brewed tea for good measure. [4]

" " " " "Thanks for the meal!" " " " "

Five voices rang and began to start eating… or rather Chief Tsurumi, Hiratsuka-sensei, and Rumi began to eat.

I would have done the same, if I hadn't noticed that Hikigaya-kun hadn't even touched his chopsticks yet. Instead his eyes were glazed over and he looked at the small family with warm eyes that seemed dangerously distant. As if he was looking over a mirage from thousands of kilometers away.

It frightened me for some reason.

"Hikigaya-kun." I called out, and I'm relieved to see him tilt his head in my direction. "Is there anything wrong?"

He blinked several times before he giving me a questioning look.

"Oh shit, I forgot." Exclaimed Hiratsuka-sensei before I could speak. "Yukinoshita can you taste the soup real quick? How's the salt?" Her words were harried.

I raised an eyebrow, but dutifully took a sip of the broth. "The amount of salt is fine."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Hikigaya-kun start to eat. I didn't comment on the strange interaction that just occurred, but it gnawed at the back of my mind throughout dinner.

After the meal, Chief Tsurumi and Hikigaya-kun sat in the lounge. The TV was on, but neither were watching, instead talking about a case that was on their hands. I heard some mention of the hostage situation that had occurred earlier today and something about Shinjuku, but could catch nothing else. Rumi was laying down on the couch, leaning her back on Hikigaya-kun's side as she watched a variety program. Both seemed like the type to shy away from such things, so their closeness was quite astonishing to see.

Hiratsuka-sensei pulled me aside after clearing the table, taking me into the backyard.

"Sorry about being so pushy at dinner." Apologized my old club advisor. "I should have mentioned it before, to be honest."

"Mentioned what, exactly?" I asked slowly.

"I'm guessing you know about Hachiman's time in the military?"

I nodded. I was aware of the official record and the court martial details, but beyond that, it was all speculation.

"Well, he developed a few … 'peculiarities' about eating from his time in Sri Lanka." Hiratsuka-sensei reached in her pocket and retrieved a cigarette, and quickly lit it. She puffed out a cloud before continuing. "Apparently there was a critical shortage of food and water at some point. Rationing got extreme. Hachiman couldn't control his hunger one day, and he ended up eating an apple that wasn't allotted to him."

"What..." The air in my throat was gone and I couldn't continue speaking.

"Guilt's been killing him ever since, now he can't even think about eating unless everyone else at the table has taken their first bite." Hiratsuka-sensei chuckled beneath her breath. "Should have seen him when he was moving around the markets. He couldn't believe the amount of food he saw. You would have thought he never walked into a supermarket before."

"That's hor—"

"Taking pity on someone is a dangerous thing, Yukinoshita." Hiratsuka put a stop to my train of thought. "It ignores the struggle to overcome. Some scars don't heal, they come to define you, make you grow in certain ways. And I think, on some level, Hachiman is proud of how he managed to survive. It's turned him into a stronger person, despite all the darkness his thoughts swim in and the self loathing."

"He's accepted who he is, and I can guarantee you that he's fine with things as they are."

Nee-san's words came to the forefront of my mind.

"So…" I started hesitantly."What can I give?"

"... when Hachiman first moved to Shibuya, it was pretty bad. The constant lights and sounds gave him anxiety attacks. He had trouble staying consistent with his treatment. Trying to get him to eat was a chore, and some nights he couldn't keep his stomach down. Sleeping was another ordeal. He had nightmares so often he couldn't actually make it through the night and get some rest. When he did sleep, he'd end up sleeping for 14 to 15 hours and still feel exhausted.

"We couldn't get him to talk. He would bottle up his problems. So Kenji, Rumi, and I decided that if he wouldn't open up, we would force ourselves into his life. We invited him over for dinner constantly. Rumi went in the mornings to check up on him and make breakfast. We have impromptu parties in his apartment.

"I even forced him to get into my car. Taught him how to drive manual and practiced with him daily for months. I even gave my Aston Martin. I talked his ear off about cars, their parts, all that stuff all the time. Gave him a ton of auto magazines, and told him to read those if he couldn't go back to sleep on bad nights. Tried turning him into a gear-head, y'know?

"I thought that if that head of his was filled with all this material he wouldn't dwell on the scary things. Must of done something; prick thinks he's an expert now. Asshole corrects me with the smuggest grin. All that sass, why I oughta..."

I couldn't stop the small giggle that left my lips. It caused Hiratsuka-sensei to pause and catch herself. She gave me a sheepish smile before taking a deep breath. Her head turned upward and looked up at the sky, her face illuminated by the waxing moon.

"All of it worked somehow, and he started talking to us again. A few jokes here and there, maybe a smile or two. It relieved his parents and Komachi. Besides, he looks a lot less gloomy than usual lately. And I think I have you to thank for it."

"I-it was the least I could do," I said flustered. "I'm aware he's not the type to ask for help all the time… so I thought I could..."

I'm met with a bark of laughter from Hiratsuka-sensei. "There are a lot of things I was uncertain of in my life, but I'm glad I had you three in the Service Club."

Hiratsuka-sensei's eyes trailed back into the house, where we're met with an unusual sight. Hikigaya-kun was asleep on the couch, his hand in the middle of stroking Rumi's hair, whose head had fallen into his lap while watching the television. She was also in a deep slumber.

"Look at them, like actual brother and sister." Breathed Hiratsuka-sensei softly. "He's going to spoil that girl rotten, I can just tell."

She finished her cigarette and put the stub into a small pouch. "It takes time to heal, but Hachiman can do it. He's made it through hell once… and I had this hope that, maybe, you could help too. How about it?"

I opened my mouth and gave my answer.

Δ▼Δ

Chapter 14.5: "To Give Care is to Give"

[Hikigaya Hachiman POV]

There's an old saying that goes along the lines of: "the state of a man's clothing reflects the woman he's with."

I found this to be too specific.

A man's clothing was dictated by those that lord over him. The serfs wore rough clothing because that's what their Lord's had forced them into. The master of a household forced his servants to dress a certain way. And this parity applied to men and women as well.

Any man will tell you that it's the woman who decides the rules for any sort of friendship or relationship. How often you meet, when you talk, what you do, the names you can call one another, etc. The woman was dominant in the social domain.

It went without saying, I was helpless in front of them.

And god help the poor soul that would try to stop the great blizzard known as Yukinoshita Yukino.

She had texted me in the morning, claiming that she was curious as to why I had worn my work attire to the dinner at Shizuka's.

"If I'm not incorrect, you should have come home from work hours beforehand, no?"

"Well, you see, I don't have any casual clothing." I mistakenly admitted. "It's not like I go outside for leisure or anything."

All I got back was a text that ordered me to not move from where I was inadvertently lazing, which happened to be my couch. She was at my apartment door within half an hour.

And so, I was dragged to this mall in downtown Tokyo.

"Look. I'm not going to say that I don't mind being forced to leave the comforts of my own home to go to a crowded area full of normies and generally unpleasant crowds. Because I do." I started saying, letting the irritation slip into my voice like an intravenous drip. "So please remind me again: why?"

Yukinoshita turned around and pinned me with a petrifying stare. "Your lack of casual clothing is clearly an attempt at justifying to yourself why you shouldn't go outside on your off days or on free evenings. Pushing yourself back into the deplorable and carefree lifestyle of a shut-in."

I've been seen through!

Yukinoshita took my silence as a sign that I didn't have a rebuttal. She sighed in dismay and held a few fingers to her forehead. "You were so close to resembling a human being, just a little more..."

"Please don't make it sound like I'm some alien."

"Who knows? You might even have a reason to ask that secretary at your office out on a date if you had clothing for such an occasion."

It was my turn to stare at her, however mine was more questioning. "What does she have to do with anything?"

Yukinoshita's eyes widened in bewilderment before stomping past me. I caught some mutterings about the density of neutron stars or what not.

I increased my pace to catch up. "Is this even a good idea? My fashion sense isn't exactly bad. I can tell when something won't work. But I don't really have the nuance to figure out what style or combinations are 'in'."

"Worry not, Hikigaya-kun," she said with confidence, her back straightening a tad more. "I will graciously provide you my assistance on that front. I already have a grasp on some potential outfits."

Putting aside her snide noblesse oblige, I think I could trust Yukinoshita's judgement. She asked me some brief questions: what type of store or type clothing I prefer. I wasn't too sure, but I said that I didn't like branding and prefer if they were reasonably priced. I wasn't too crazy on exotic or special materials either.

Yukinoshita tapped her chin. "So UNIQLO then?"

UNIQLO.

A clothing store that had outsourced manufacturing to China during the depths of an economic recession that hit Japan. By streamlining fashion designs and passing off the savings in manufacturing to the consumer, they sold quality clothing at low prices. This business model proved immensely successful, and they expanded into a global franchise within a few decades.

UNIQLO branded themselves as more than just a clothing brand, but a way of thinking as well. A philosophy on culture where they held a "steady consciousness of constant change, diversity, and the challenging of conventions."

Or so their brochure sasd, and I'm unable to make heads or tails out of the meaning of these words.

I took a good long look around the store. Neatly organized racks of pants and shirts littered the floor we were on, highlighted in contrast by the minimalist shelving and soft glow LED lights. Men, women, and children milled around, enjoying their day of shopping… somehow.

"I feel like a foreigner." I declared with the finality of a man on death row.

"Indeed, you do stick out like a common thug in a church choir." Yukinoshita didn't miss a beat and lambasted me. "Stay close to me. Hopefully my presence will override your own and people will hesitate before calling the authorities."

"There are so many things wrong with what you just said, but I feel like it's a useless task to argue them. Besides, I am those authorities they would call."

"Oh, my," Yukinoshita said in mock surprise, bringing a hand to cover her mouth. "I guess you can teach an old cat new tricks."

"You got the saying wrong! And I'm not even in my thirties yet!"

"Is that so? I apologize, your eyes make you look much older. Dead, in fact."

"Please apologize instead to my parents."

Our bickering ended as we reach the men's floor. Mannequins wearing the latest fashion trends stood on top of displays that held apparel of various colors. I was out of my element entirely, but had no way to retreat. I never went shopping for myself, I normally just tagged along with my mother or Komachi. They would pick out clothes and I would wear them. A simple method that worked pretty well.

Anyway, my recreational excursions were few and far between, even in high school when my social activities reached their numerical zenith. So there was never a need to coordinate an outfit. And nevermind dates, I didn't want to end up breaking into tears. Stay strong, Hachiman!

"Let's start with the bottom and work our way up," Yukinoshita said as she led me over to the pants section. "Jeans are most likely not a good fit for you. They inspire a feeling of youth and rebelliousness, but I do not think it suits you. You are much too dark and brooding, any attempts to appear younger would seem forced. Almost like you were being forced to fit in with middle schoolers at the playground."

"I get it, do whatever you want. Just please don't incinerate my self confidence any further."

"Is that so? If that's the case, what is your waist size?"

After the answer was given, she grabbed several pants made from chino fabric off the wall. After giving them the good ol' Yukinoshita Quality Check (which involved stretching the item in the 8 cardinal directions with enough force to make one of the store helpers nervous), she eventually decided on four of them: one black, one dark forest green, one tan, and one dark blue.

"If I know you and your loner tendencies, then you probably do not have the confidence to comfortably wear complex patterns," Yukinoshita said as I get pulled to the tops.

"What makes you say that?"

"Complex patterns such as stripes, plaid, or graphics tend to attract the eyes of those around you. Do you want that?"

"... I see your point."

Three long sleeve and three short sleeve shirts are added to our pile. All of them were a solid single color that was easy on the eyes. There were some interesting choices in there, like a mustard yellow shirt that looked oddly soothing to wear.

We shopped for a bit more, getting some miscellaneous items like belts and such before heading to the fitting rooms. I didn't appreciate the knowing smile the employee had when she handed us the tag for a booth. I could feel a bit of my soul escaping my body now that I've been associated with Yukinoshita in a public environment by other people. Like Faust and Mephistopheles, I'll be subjected to a fate worse than death should people I actually know see me now.

Yukinoshita gave me explicit directions on the combinations to put on and the type of style to keep with them.

"They fit pretty snug," I said as I turned around to get a better look at a combination of long sleeve shirt and chino pants.

"Loose clothing makes one seem childish." She came up to me and smoothes out some wrinkles before stepping back and giving me an inspecting look. "You are rather tall and physically fit, so you have a slender frame. It would be a waste to not utilize however few positive physical features you have."

My left eye twitched at the veiled jab. "Yeah well, 'it feels weird' was what I was trying to get at."

"You'll get used to it."

"So you say."

Yukinoshita moved behind me and fixed the way the shirt hitched over my shoulders, making it more comfortable. Her hands stopped moving and she stilled before giving me a query in a flat tone.

"Hikigaya-kun?"

"Yes?"

"What's this?"

"What's what?"

"On your back, near the waist."

"Oh, that?" I reached around and lifted up the hem of my shirt, showing her the grip and back of the slide of my P30L. "Just my pistol."

In a flash, Yukinoshita flew across the small dressing room and closed the curtains before coming right up to me. It was a distance so close that I was suddenly aware of how long her eyelashes were. Such a proximity activated all the mental sirens I had. My subconscious screamed at me to save myself.

"You brought a gun!? Here!?" She hissed quietly, reaching around and pulling down the back of my shirt to once more cover the pistol that was holstered to the small of my back. "Are you out of your mind!?"

"I have a concealed carry license!" I retorted, a bit flustered.

"There are children here!"

"It's not like I'm going to go around shooting people." I defended, a little peeved. "Besides, I can't leave home without it anymore."

"... what do you mean by that?" The aggression in her voice evaporated, replaced by confusion.

I scratched the back of my head, trying to find the words. "I mean… trouble seems to follow me."

"... do you expect danger even here?" she said breathlessly. Her tone stirred something insecure within me.

"I'd rather be ready and not need it, than need it and not have it. Especially with you being here. I'm not taking any chances."

"You…" Yukinoshita bit her lip with her fist clenched. "Honestly… I…" Her head tilted downward, her bangs moving to cover her eyes. Before I could say anything she leaned over and her forehead made contact with my shoulder. I was now supporting her body weight, and I couldn't help but marvel at how little she weighed.

"H-hey!?"

We stood there unmoving. My heart beat loudly in my ears. A few seconds passed before she spoke, "... thank you. For your concern." A whisper so low, I almost didn't understand her words.

"... you're welcome."

I moved my arms, but stopped part way, unsure of what I should do with them. My deliberation endd prematurely when Yukinoshita raised her head and stepped backward, clear blue eyes looking at me gently. My chest throbbed painfully, and I suddenly felt extremely self conscious.

This wasn't right.

"Let us continue, you still have a few more articles to experiment with." She reached up and grabbed a clothes hanger that was on a hook. It held a brown coach jacket that she removed and helped me put on. I also tried out a casual sports coat afterwards.

"Not bad." Yukinoshita nodded in approval as she motions for me to turn around. "Balancing formal outerwear with casual garb. You pass off the studious look well."

"Isn't this a bit overkill?"

"Not at all. You're a man with a career that can provide for yourself. You need to have confidence in that. This gives others the impression that you're well put together. All we need to do is get your pants tailored." She suddenly looks thoughtful. "But…"

"But?"

"Those eyes are going to ruin whatever clothing you wear."

Oh yeah, the obvious.

"Unfortunately, I can't go into public with a blindfold, I gotta make do with it."

"Actually… I have a theory."

We wrapped up our purchases at UNIQLO. There was a brief disagreement when I tried to pay for everything, but Yukino refused to let me. After some back and forth argument in front of an increasingly worried cashier, we ended up compromising. I would pay for the shirts and sweaters. She would pay for the pants and jackets, and I would have to consider it a gift. Done deal.

Or so I thought, until I found myself at the optometrist.

"As I thought." Stated Yukinoshita as she has me swap out different frames from my face. "Glasses improve the visual perception of your eyes."

"I don't buy it." I scoffed, I attempted to remove them from my face but Yukinoshita puts a finger out. She put exquisitely accurate pressure on the bridge of the frame, keeping them on my face and preventing me from taking them off.

"I am speaking the truth here. Hmm… I have decided." She looked at me with a serious and hard set stare. "Hikigaya-kun?"

"Y-yes!?" I reflexively answered and straightened up unconsciously, keeping my arms glued to my sides. Her voice had taken on a tone that eerily reminded me of my drill sergeant from basic training, the one that haunted the nightmares of all cadets. I just followed the instincts beaten into me.

"You must wear these whenever you leave the house."

"Not a chance." I denied instantly. "I don't even wear glasses normally! My eyes are fine."

"Hikigaya-kun, this is for the good of society and those around you. Purchase those with fake lenses and wear them so humanity can live in ease."

"N! O! NO! I'll look ridiculous!"

"You already look ridiculous. I find myself doubting that it can get worse."

Damn, I couldn't come up with anything to say back to that.

"Alright… fine." I conceded bitterly. The feeling of defeat was slightly abated by the triumphant grin on her face.

We eventually went home, and Yukinoshita insisted on coming along to help me organize my closet while teaching me the proper ways of choosing an outfit. It was a bit tiring, but I appreciated the effort she was putting in.

"Thanks for today," I said to Yukinoshita as I walked her outside the apartment. "Even if it was absolutely exhausting."

"It was exhausting for me as well." Her lips curled into a teasing smile. "Exhausting to find not just one, but several ways to make you look presentable to everyone in public. An impossible task for most, wouldn't you agree?"

I couldn't help the chuckle that left my mouth, the action elicited laughter from Yukinoshita in turn.

"Well then, see you later."

"Yes, farewell." She walks down the block before turning around and calling out to me with a playful smile. "I expect to see you with those glasses the next time we meet."

"Yeah, yeah. Sure thing." One last wave and she's gone, walking towards the subway station a few minutes away.

Clothing may represent the women a man is with, but it also reflects their position in life. Being able to wear clean clothing that fits well and looks good is a sign that they managed to do something. That they were able to lead a decent life, surrounded by people that they cared enough about to look pleasant around.

I would have hated this supposed 'superficiality' in my youth. Something about conforming to the standards of those around you somehow stops you from being honest to yourself. In hindsight, it was self centered and bratty; spoken from a teenager who had no perspective. But I wasn't able to think like that now, because I saw things from the other side.

And I can't say I hate it.

Being told I looked nice made me feel good, as juvenile a feeling as it was. Knowing that, at the very least, my outward appearance wouldn't drive people away.

They'd give me a chance.

Optimism.

Huh….

I never thought it was possible for me to even feel this way.

Arc 1: "Detective Hikigaya Hachiman"

References:

[1] Japanese phrase: "これはこれ、それはそれ"/"kore wa kore, sore wa sore." Literally translated, it means "this thing near me is this thing near me, that thing near you is that thing near you." The localized translation is "this is this, that is that." The phrase is used to convey to the listener that two matters are unrelated, or that the condition of one will have no influence on the other.

[2] In this universe, Tom Clancy's "Rainbow Six" is a fiction novel about a special multinational anti terrorism force. No such organization exists (as far as we know).

[3] Aegis was the shield of Athena that bore the head of the Gorgon Medusa (beheaded by Perseus).

[4] Bell peppers and beef is an infamous meal that Spike and Jet eat regularly in the anime "Cowboy Bebop." However they regularly can't afford the beef, so it's Jet's specialty bell-peppers-and-beef-without-the-beef.

Author's Note:

The titles in this chapter are "To Take Pity is to Take;" and "To Give Care is to Give." This is from the English phrase, "To take pity on..." The message I tried to convey was that pitying people does not help them. By pitying them you are inadvertently taking away their own dignity and value by making them out as a victim of circumstance rather than someone shaped by events.

To truly say you care and feel for someone is to give them help and aid them out of a genuine wish to see them better themselves. Compassion should be for the person, not the effect of the event. Don't take, give.

I used the "g"- word again. Ugh.

-SouBU
(Editors: XioKenji; Lord of Admirals 412; Xynovitch)

Revision Log:
03/17/2020: Re-uploaded with overhaul of tenses and changes in word choice and sentence structure as well as major grammar fixes.