What's this now? Claudine is giving Mahiru some private after-school lessons...?
Disclaimer: I do not own Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight.
Chapter 5. Confidence Practice
As Mahiru follows Claudine down the hallway, she has to keep reminding herself repeatedly that this isn't a dream.
Even Claudine's stride is confident and strong as she leads Mahiru out of the classroom, and Mahiru stumbles a bit to keep up. But Claudine must notice, because after just a few seconds she pauses and turns back to her.
"Sorry. I'm getting a bit carried away."
"I-It's all right!" Mahiru straightens up, and when they continue, Claudine stays back to walk beside her. Their hands are still together, but Mahiru doesn't mind.
"Um, S-Saijou-san? Where are we going?"
"Oh, I figured we could go to one of the smaller studios," she replies. "The main one is usually in-use after classes by people who want to practice more. I figured someplace quieter would help calm your nerves a little."
"But… don't you usually practice in the main studio with Tendo-san after classes?" Mahiru asks. "I-I don't want to take away from your training…"
Claudine huffs softly.
"Don't worry about that. She and I practice enough as it is. I need a break from her every once in a while. Ah!" She stops walking and turns to look at Mahiru seriously. "But don't think that means I'm only doing this with you because I'm taking a break from her. That's not it. The truth is, I've been interested in you from the start, Tsuyuzaki-san."
"I-Interested? In me?"
"Sorry. Did the sound odd?" Claudine tries to think of a better way to say it. "What I mean is, I like you, Tsuyuzaki-san."
"…E-Eh-?!"
"Not in a weird way, or anything. I know we hardly know each other. But you just seem like a really kind, calm person who could use a bit of a push. Your dancing is beautiful, and I know your voice is, too. You've just got to find it."
"M-My dancing? My voice…?" Mahiru feels a blushing heat coursing through her veins and threatening to burst in her chest. S-Saijou-san likes my dancing? She thinks it's beautiful-?
"Sorry," Claudine apologizes again. "I hope I'm not being too weird. But like I said before, I consider you my competition, Tsuyuzaki-san. And I want to compete with you and everyone else seriously. And in order to do that, I want to know the real you. I hope I don't sound like I'm patronizing you. I just thought you could use a bit of support, that's all."
"N-Not at all!" Mahiru yelps. "I'm grateful to you for reaching out to me, Saijou-san! Honestly… I don't think I ever would've been able to ask anyone for help on my own... You're really observant too, aren't you?"
"I wouldn't say that." Claudine looks away for a moment, but Mahiru thinks she sees just a faint blush of pink on her cheeks. She smiles a little.
She's sort of like me in a way, I guess.
"Anyway," Claudine says. "We're here." She stops them at the sliding doors of a small dance studio, a few doors down from the main one. There's no one else inside, but the afternoon sunlight filtering in through the windows makes the place feel very inviting and peaceful. Only when Claudine releases her hand does Mahiru remember she'd been holding it.
"I really hope I'm not just being pushy," Claudine says, setting down her bag. "If you get tired of it or you don't want to do this, you can just tell me and leave whenever you want."
"Not at all!" Mahiru says. "You're not being pushy. You just want to help… and I really think I need it…"
Claudine presents her with an honest smile, one that lets Mahiru know she really is just trying to help, and not doing this because she feels she's skilled enough to be qualified to help out a struggling classmate. Perhaps in the past her straightforwardness had given off the wrong impression or made people think she was conceited.
"All right then," Claudine says. "If you're all right with it, then pull up a chair and we'll go over the basics."
"O-Okay."
"No need to hesitate. Give me your honest answer!"
"Okay!" Mahiru blushes a bit when she talks louder, but it really does give her a bit of confidence to hear herself sounding so firm. She and Claudine each unfold a chair and sit across from one another with their knees brushing.
"Let's just start with the easy stuff," Claudine instructs. "We'll do exactly what we do in class with the professor, only this time you won't have to worry about other people overhearing or judging you. We always say that no one is judging anyone else, but I think we all know that people have their opinions."
"Y-Yeah."
"What was that?"
"Yeah!"
Claudine smiles and nods in approval.
They start out with some basic vocal exercises and tongue-twisters. Mahiru stumbles over several of them, whereas Claudine recites them all perfectly. Mahiru's shoulders begin to slump as she messes up another one.
"Ah, s-sorry…"
"Don't apologize. Just try it again."
"Okay." Mahiru does as she's told, running through the string of words again. Claudine claps once.
"See? You had one less mistake that time."
"I did?"
"Oui! Once more!"
"Right!"
Mahiru goes through the very same exercises as they do in class, where she would normally feel self-conscious like Claudine said. But now she's somehow much more comfortable.
Is it because there's no teacher? Because there's no one else here? Or is it just because it's Saijou-san helping me…?
If she were to do this sort of practice with Karen, Mahiru feels she would still stumble over most of her words. But where she thought Claudine's presence might intimidate her a little, she's amazed to find that being with Claudine puts her at ease more than anything else. She's very positive and helpful and gives honest feedback. She isn't mean at all, but she also doesn't hold back on saying anything she feels she needs to say in order to help Mahiru achieve a better outcome, and Mahiru appreciates that.
"Slow down on that part," Claudine tells her. "And instead speed up on a part you're better at. That way you'll still maintain the same pace, but you won't get tripped-up as much."
"Got it!"
They go through warm-up exercises for about ten minutes, and by the end of it all Mahiru is filled with a refreshing sort of accomplishment, not the usual feeling of inadequacy.
"Well?" Claudine prompts. "I think that was much better than when you started, right?"
"Y-Yes! Though I'm still not as good as you, or anyone else…"
"Stop, stop!" Claudine holds up her hand. "That's your first mistake, Tsuyuzaki-san. Don't compare yourself to other people. Just compare who you are now to who you were before. And haven't you improved since your first time trying these exercises?"
"Y… Yes."
"Then that's all that matters."
Mahiru blinks, and then a small smile begins forming on her lips.
"Understood!"
"Très bien! Now then, let's read over some of the script from today."
"O-Okay."
"Hm?"
"Okay!"
They each take a few characters' parts and begin reading. As they go, Mahiru can really hear the difference between her own voice and Claudine's.
Of course. She's been acting since she was a child. B-But I shouldn't compare myself to her!
She tries to heed Claudine's advice and just focus on herself. They read through a scene together and come to a pause.
"You're definitely very well-suited for the soft-spoken roles," Claudine praises her.
Mahiru bites her lip a little.
"Thank you… b-but I don't want just that. I want to try louder, more expressive characters, too!"
Claudine grins.
"Then if that's the case, let's switch it up a bit. Let's swap roles and do it again. Now you're the lead."
"Right!"
They run through it again, and though Mahiru tries to speak louder for the change in roles, her voice still seems to flop at certain points, and she ends up stammering a bit again. When they've finished their scene, Mahiru's shoulders have slouched again.
"I'm sorry. It wasn't very good…"
"What do you mean?" Claudine asks. "It was very clear. You just need some work on your breathing."
"M-My breathing?"
"Let's stand up." Claudine gets to her feet and offers her hand. Mahiru shakily accepts and Claudine pulls her up.
"It's just like for singing," Claudine says. "When you want to hold a loud note for longer, you have to take a deeper breath, right? Well, even though we aren't singing right now, it works the same way. If you have a character who's shouting or speaking loudly for a long line, you need to breathe deeply and use your air accordingly. Like in this scene, when Julie sees Mary about to try making the jump across the river." Claudine draws in a deep, full breath, then lets her voice out in a clear shout. "Mary, stop! Unless you can sprout wings, you'll never make it!"
Mahiru jolts just a little at the volume of her voice, but she pays attention. This is the kind of loudness she wants to achieve, too.
"Let me try…" Mahiru draws in a deep breath and copies the line. "Mary, stop! Unless you can sprout wings, you'll never make it…" She can tell right from the first word that her voice is only half as loud as Claudine's had been, and she loses confidence as she goes through it until she tapers off at the end. "Ah, that was no good…"
"I wouldn't say that." Claudine hums. "You almost had it, but you're breathing from here-" she taps her collar. "When you want to breathe from here." She moves her hand down to tap her stomach. "Here, follow me."
Claudine puts her hand to her chest again, and Mahiru slowly lifts her hand to do the same. Claudine draws in a deep breath for five seconds and then releases it slowly. Mahiru copies her, feeling the way her chest expands and deflates.
"Now," Claudine says. "From here." She places her hand on her stomach next, and Mahiru follows. They repeat the process, and she can tell Claudine's breath is flowing differently now than it had before. But for Mahiru herself, it all feels the same.
Claudine shakes her head.
"Hold on. You're only breathing through your nose. May I?" Claudine offers out her palm. Mahiru blinks, but gives her classmate her hand.
Claudine steps closer and guides Mahiru's hand toward herself. The next thing Mahiru knows, her hand is being pressed flush-up against Claudine's stomach. Her face explodes with heat.
"E-Eh? S-Saijou-san-?"
"You need to use your diaphragm," Claudine instructs. She then closes her eyes and demonstrates, drawing in a long, full breath.
Mahiru does her best to push through the bashfulness of touching her so intimately, and instead tries to focus on the lesson Claudine is trying so hard to help her with. She concentrates and tries to feel the difference in Claudine's body as the air fills her lungs. When Claudine pauses to hold her breath, Mahiru can faintly feel her heartbeat, which makes her own pulse bounce a little.
Then, Claudine lets out her breath, and Mahiru realizes she'd subconsciously matched herself to breathe in time with her.
Claudine inhales again, and Mahiru follows with her, trying to expand her ribcage as much as she feels Claudine doing as she breathes in, and trying to be as steady as she is when she exhales. After a moment, both girls open their eyes again and Claudine lets go of her hand.
"Sorry if that was too direct. But it was easier than trying to explain it."
"N-No-!" Mahiru quickly recoils her hand. "I think I understand a bit better now! I want to try that line again!" Mahiru puts her hand to her own stomach and tries to copy the feeling she'd felt from Claudine. Once she has her air, she lets out her voice. "Mary, stop! Unless you can sprout wings, you'll never make it!"
And she actually surprises herself with how loudly and sternly her voice comes. It isn't the ideal version she's going for, but it's leagues better than what she'd started with. Claudine claps in delight.
"Très bien, très bien! Well done, Tsuyuzaki-san!"
Mahiru's face is still warm and blushing, but a big smile spreads across her lips.
"Thank you, Saijou-san!"
"If you'd like, I could help you with using that technique for singing next time."
"Sure! I'd love to!"
"All right. Just let me know the next time you're free."
"Ah, y-you too, Saijou-san! I know you like to practice with Tendo-san after school."
"Only because I have to," Claudine says. "I need to stay sharp and make sure she isn't getting ahead of me. After all, I'm going to be the one to overthrow her one day."
"O-Overthrow her…?"
Claudine nods. "You know she's already considered the top student in our year, right? Well, I'm not going to let her beat me."
"I see. You want to be the best in your own way, right Saijou-san?"
"Oui. My main objective for my time here at Seishou is to beat that girl."
"That makes sense…" Mahiru murmurs. "You and Tendo-san are probably the most skilled students in our class. You're the only one who can really rival her." She takes a step back. "S-So like I said, I don't want to be a bother-"
"Perish the thought." Claudine waves her hand casually. "While Tendo Maya is an annoying obstacle I have to keep working at to overcome, I feel at-ease with you, Tsuyuzaki-san. Practicing with you today really helped me relax a bit."
"Really?"
"Oui. Ah, but I'm not just using you for that, okay? I really did want to try and help you if I could."
"I understand! And you really did help me today, Saijou-san! I think I'll be able to read even better in class tomorrow thanks to you! S-So if practicing with me like this isn't a bother for you, and it even helps you relax, it's beneficial to both of us! So I'd love to keep doing it whenever you can."
Claudine claps.
"Perfect! Then how about we try for Tuesdays and Thursdays and see how it goes?"
"Okay!"
"Will your roommate mind? Aijou-san, was it?"
"Ah…" Just now during her time with Claudine, Mahiru had actually forgotten about Karen for the first time since school had started. "I don't think she'll mind! It'll give her some time to practice with other people, too! We shouldn't get too used to each other just because we're dance partners."
"I agree. It'll do me well to dance with someone other than Tendo Maya."
With this, both girls come to an agreement. Claudine holds out her hand, and Mahiru accepts, then bows to her.
"Thank you again, Saijou-san! You really did help me today!"
"I'm glad, Tsuyuzaki-san. You helped me today as well."
"I'm glad, too!" Mahiru hesitates at her next thought, but decides to go for it anyway. "Ah, do you want to walk back to the dorms together…?"
Claudine smiles, but shakes her head.
"That's all right. I feel like I need to do a bit of solo practice after all."
Mahiru's shoulders droop a little, but it doesn't feel like a rejection. Rather, she's proud of herself for even managing to ask at all.
"Okay! Then I'll see you around, Saijou-san!"
"Oui. Take care, Tsuyuzaki-san."
At the door, they go their separate ways. As Mahiru turns to start off down the hallway, she can't help but feel a little bit of a bounce in her step, and in her heart as well.
Saijou-san… She's really incredible…
Outside the school building, Mahiru runs into Karen, who has just finished up some practice with Hoshimi Junna and Diana Nana. Mahiru greets them, and the four of them end up walking back to the dorms together. Mahiru sticks to the back of the group, but even so, both Junna and Nana turn around frequently to address her and make sure she's included in their conversation.
By the time they arrive at Starlight Hall that evening, Mahiru realizes she'd spoken to more of her classmates today than ever before.
And her face almost hurts from smiling so much.
A/N: What a difference from her first few days! Could it be because of Mahiru's new after-school partner...?
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