Chapter 43

Madi sat in their council room waiting for Pella to return from the Village. The air was getting colder and she was worried that they weren't going to be completely ready for the who was Palla had been describing. She was sure the hunters were doing a good job of bringing back meat for them. She remembered that they were going to need meat for protein, to keep them alive during the harsh winter snows that would blanket the ground and make the animals go into hiding. Abby inspected the meat each day to make sure that they had enough, but she also checked the hyrdra-farms, too. Madi knew it was because she was worried about the Dark Year from the bunker. She knew that it would always plague Abby's mind, so she was doing what she could to make sure that they didn't suffer the same fate now.

She had lists upon lists that she was going over. The farmers had found some good land to till for a harvest in the spring. Palla had given them some winter seeds to plant for fresh vegetables in the spring before the main harvest. Raven had gone out with Diyoza and some of the farmers to clear plots. Each of the farmers took a plot and planted something different. The plots weren't huge, but they were big enough to support their little group.

She sighed. She knew that things were going to be difficult at first. She knew that she was going to have to get used to be the leader of everyone, but she was grateful for her mother's presence. Clarke took a lot of weight from her and she respected her for that. The people did, too. They knew that Clarke was leading them because she knew how to help them survive. Madi was still learning and the people respected her because she was the Heda. They knew that Madi would do what she thought was best and making Clarke her de facto governor for the time being was working. She kept them all in check.

Raven came in and sat down at the table. She'd been reporting to Madi about her leg since Madi found out about her agreement with Clarke. Abby was amazed with her progress. Raven was getting stronger, but her leg wasn't any better. The nerve damage was permanent, but Raven had found ways around it. She was a survivor, which is why it surprised Madi completely to find out that Raven asked to be trained by Echo. But, it was when Echo told Madi that Raven was to be her sekkon that things took a turn. Raven showed up for every council meeting and gave her reports, but Madi could see the muscle building and the look in her eyes. She'd watched her with Indra outside the Pins learning to ride a giant brown caballo Raven named Finn.

Octavia was on the mend. She was spending a lot of time with Clarke and Niylah, too. The youngest guard she had at the moment, Octavia was still leading the charge for defense. She had regular meetings with Diyoza to make sure that the newly built fence around the barracks was holding. She arranged a rotation for the wall with Imber, the one time that he'd come to the barracks to meet with him.

Madi thought about that day. She hadn't been impressed with the older man, but she was smart enough to not voice her opinion until after Palla left. Octavia didn't seem to like him either. They couldn't figure it out, but Octavia made sure that there was a jusgona at the wall. They were true, loyal to a fault, and had no qualms about defending the heda even when she wasn't physically there. And, so far that was nothing to report except the rebuilding of the wall and that the guards had taken a section as theirs to protect. She agreed with the assessment as did Palla in the end. She knew it was just because Palla then didn't have worry about Imber protecting them because they were doing it themselves.

"Something happen?" Palla asked as she came to sit at the table across from Madi.

"No, just thinking about things."

That day, she had Aeolus and Miller with her. They were both in the other room, but within shouting distance if needed. They knew Palla and they knew that she wasn't a threat. It was the only reason that she was let in so easily. The Jusgona treated Palla like Heda or Wanheda. She might not be other kru, but they respected her and treated her as the same. Madi knew that Palla liked this. She was more relaxed at the barracks it seemed then when they talked via comms while Palla was in the Village.

"Anything that I can help you with?" Palla asked her.

"How deep do the snows get?"

"Worst one on record that Balt found was thirty feet, but he thinks that it was exaggerated."

"I would hope so, but the worst that I have seen in my lifetime was no more than twenty-five feet at a time."

"Four times as tall as a man..." Madi mumbled.

"Yes, but that is why I want to talk to your wood carvers."

"Why?"

"So set belay lines for you."

"Belay lines?"

"Yes, that is what we call them. It is basically a pole that had rope attached to it at different levels. The ropes are connected to different poles around the homestead or your case the barracks area. When the snow is that deep, it can be dangerous. Losing your way in all that white with no real reference point can be deadly. We drive the poles in usually during the rainy season because the ground is soft. Then as the days get colder, the ropes start to appear, a different color for different levels," Palla told her.

"So, you could tell when the snow is melting?"

"Yes, but it might be twenty feet over here and only fifteen there because the top layers there are nothing but powder. This lets whoever is out to walk carefully and expect to sink down into the powder. This means wet cloths and quick trips to fires to dry. While winter can be beautiful because of the clean, white snow, it is also a death trap waiting for the unsuspecting."

"I see. Well, I'll send Aeolus to get the head carver. I believe that Raven and crew should be back this afternoon with another load of timber from the construction site of New Polis. I'll have them get with you so you can explain what needs to be done."

"Good."

"I just want to help. I don't want you to lose anyone in the snow. There is nothing like finding a friend, five feet from his door, frozen solid because he lost his way in all the white. When that happens, sometimes we don't find them until the Spring Thaw," Palla explained.

"I can only imagine how awful that is for both parties. Mochof, for teaching us these things. We didn't have to deal with things like this where I grew up. I am sure Echo and Aeolus might have, but we are so far removed from Azgeda now that it is a distant memory."

"Balt wants to speak with whoever are the clan leaders so he can start compiling your histories," Palla added.

"I'll make time for him with each kru. But, for now, I am worried that we aren't going to make it through the snows. Histories can wait. We will keep the record ourselves for now. I am sure that there is someone that could record our stories among us. I will have them start this winter and come spring they will be able to discuss things with Balt to make our histories not so skewed and one-sided."

"Sounds good," Palla replied.

"How are Hrathgar and Ferre doing?" Madi asked her, hoping to hear more about the Village.

"They are doing well. Ferre is ready for Tamman to come, but she doesn't want to rush him. I think that she wants him to come before the snows, though. I would be better. Then, the fisa won't have to battle to get to the house to help her deliver. Honestly, I think that Ferre could do it on her own, but she knows that Hrathgar will not handle it well if there isn't a doctor or midwife present."

"Would it help if I sent ours to stay with them?" Madi offered.

"Don't you need her here? For Diyoza? I mean, she is the only pregnant member of your crew that I've seen," Palla stated.

"She is, but she is in capable hands with Abby. Besides, Abby is worried for the baby and will soon have Diyoza staying in the clinic with her until the birth."

"Why is she worried?"

"Technically because Diyoza is biologically almost six months pregnant, but she slept twice in chryo. We don't know what that did the child and Abby is worried that it might have stunted her growth. Diyoza is doing everything that Abby is requiring her to do because she wants her daughter to be healthy and safe. Diyoza joked that she's been pregnant for over two hundred and twenty-five years and that it was some sort of human record," Madi explained.

"It would be the longest gestation on record. But, I hope that nothing happens to the child. Diyoza is proving that she is a respectable member of your people. She is doing what she knows best, which is defense and war, but she isn't actively seeking it. It is good to see that she had turned over a new leaf in her life. Having a child will do that. I should know," Palla replied.

"I'm sure it does."

"Heda, can I ask you more about the Commanders?"

"Sure," Madi replied.

"Have any ever had children?"

"No, I don't believe so...well unless it was one of the men from a quick liaison."

"I don't understand," Palla stated.

"In ninety-seven years, there were sixteen Commanders. Usually, they were selected in the conclave. Some ascended as young as twelve, like Lexa, and some as old as twenty plus summers. Becca was the first and the oldest, but she barely lasted a year. Thankfully, her spirit and memories explained the black blood and why it was needed. The first Flame Keeper took the chip and hid it until he found the next black blood willing to take it. It was hard on those in the beginning. The female Commanders never had the chance to have children. And if a male did, it wasn't always a Nightblood. Even if it was, they wouldn't directly ascend after their nomon's passing. It would have been only by a fight to the death, two or three possible Commanders later."

"And, Lexa took it at twelve summers?"

"Yes."

"And, when she died..."

"She was over twenty summers...she barely had a complete season with Clarke, but..."

"But?"

"She loved her even though it went against everything that she'd been taught."

"Love is weakness?"

"Yes, but Clarke pushed her. She made Lexa think about everything and not blindly follow the old ways. She showed her that sometimes there were other ways to get what they wanted besides bloodshed. It wasn't a hard concept for Lexa to follow. After all, she was the first Commander to ever unite all the clans. She was the first in ninety-five years to bring everyone together again for the betterment and enrichment of them all."

"That must have rankled some feathers," Palla replied.

"Azgeda mostly."

"Isn't Echo from Azgeda?"

"She is. She was a spy and she was very good. But, in the end, she saw the same thing in Clarke that Lexa did."

"What was that?"

"A new way to lead and still protect their people. It took Echo longer to come around, but now that she has, she is extremely loyal. I know that she would actually die for me if I asked her to and she wouldn't question my request."

"Would you do that?"

"Not as a punishment, no. In a battle, if I felt that it was an acceptable loss in order to save our people, yes. I cannot say that it would be easy. I don't want to lose any of my people. And, I think of both Octavia and Echo as older sisters. It would pain me, but I could send her to her death if I had to. Honestly, I don't know if Clarke could do that when ... when Lexa first met her," Madi stated.

"But?"

"She killed Finn with her own hand, so he wouldn't suffer at Lexa's," Madi said.

"She has sacrificed a lot over her short reign," Palla stated.

"Less than two years, yes, she did. But, the Commanders would tell her that 'Victory stands on the backs of sacrifice.' She's done nothing but fight to protect those she loved since she was seventeen. She lost her father. She was sent to Earth and somehow became a leader for the hundred. Life has never been fair, but em bears em so emo nou don kom."

"What does that mean?" Palla questioned.

"She bears it, so they don't have to," Madi stated.

"She bears it, so you don't have to, either," Palla added.

"I know."

"Did she ever forgive Lexa for Mount Weather?"

"You'd have to ask Clarke on that. She doesn't like to talk about it. I get it. That is the only time that sought the death of people. In every other battle she fought, she tried to stop it. She knew going into the Mountain that night that she was going in there to kill. She knew it, even if she doesn't want to admit it. She wasn't leaving without either her people or dying. She resigned herself to her fate when she went in the back door."

"She felt like she was unworthy after?"

"She ran for three months and hid until her legend grew and spread. That is why is Wanheda. Lexa wanted to protect her, but she when she learned that Clarke hadn't stayed at Arkadia, Lexa worried about her. She sent spies, scouts and assassins after her. She wanted to get to Clarke before anyone else did."

"Why?"

"There was belief that whoever killed Clarke that they would get her power. She had just done what no Commander could. She took down the Mountain and ended the one threat that gave the coalition any problems. Lexa knew that she had to get Clarke back on her side if she was going to stay in power, keep Clarke alive, and maintain the coalition. So she did what she did best once she had Clarke in Polis with her," Madi explained.

"Which was?"

"She did what she wanted and used her politics to seize the day," Madi answered.

"And, in the end, Clarke forgave her?"

"Forgave is such a loaded word. She didn't forget the betrayal. She warned Lexa against doing it again, so to prove herself to Clarke, Lexa swore fealty."

"She bowed to Clarke?"

"Yes."

"Damn, she really did love her."

"She did. And, that was when Clarke started to actually forgive her. She realized that Lexa was hurt by her actions as well. She finally came to understand why Lexa took the deal and realized that had she been in the same position, she would have taken it as well. It wasn't perfect between them. Clarke was always worried about Lexa duping her and using her to just get something that she wanted. And, Lexa...she was fighting against tradition. She wanted Clarke to be her bonded. There had been Commanders who'd married, but it never lasted long before death came calling. Lexa hoped to keep death at bay."

"She lost that fight," Palla said.

"She did, but in the end, she told Clarke that they would meet again. And, while Clarke doesn't believe in reincarnation like that, we as Grounders do. I believe that Lexa's soul will find hers again. And, when it does, I pity anyone who stands in their way this time."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because Clarke deserves some happiness in her life now. She deserves some normalcy. She deserves love. But, I also know that she is like a lion. She will strike down anyone that comes after her now. She will not hesitate. She will not question herself. She's been tempered in the fires of Hell and she will burn anyone that temps her," Madi explained.

"Do you believe that she'll find Lexa's reborn soul?"

"I believe she already has. She just doesn't know it, yet. But, then again, she's still hurting. She may not want to see it, Palla."

"What are you saying?" Palla inquired.

Madi got up from the table. She reached out for Palla's shirt and asked, "May I?" After a quick head nod, Madi lifted her shirt just enough to expose the bright red, port wine stain birthmark on Palla's sternum.

"Because you feel it, too," Madi said as she pointed at the spot. "You bear her mark of death. You remind me of her, too. I can see it in the way you move, the way you fight and the way that you fight for your people. But, there is more. You've been drawn to Clarke since you heard her voice. You've done all of this for her, more so than for us. And, lately, you're spending more time with us than your own Village."

"Fuck..." Palla mumbled quietly.

"Jok indeed."

"You aren't going to warn me off?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm hoping that you'll prove to her that she isn't so broken that she can't love again."