a/n: Well, this is probably long overdue.

Prime Time

It was a beautiful day on Vytal.

Birds were singing, flowers were blooming, and the Grimm were feasting on ill-prepared travelers. All was as it should be.

On a bright and sunny day, there was only one thing for the good guys to do.

.

Sit inside and listen to Optimus Prime give an inspiring speech.

.

"Days like today are what we fight for," Optimus opened, "We toil out on the fields of battle and die in droves specifically so that some day, every day will be as beautiful as the one going on outside right now. And I have to ask-" Optimus turned to face his audience. "Where the heck is everyone?"

Yang was seated on top of Bumblebee's head and texting someone who she would swear to her grave wasn't Blake, Ruby was sitting in her chair upside down, Hot Rod was standing at attention, Sideways was leaning against a wall, and his helmeted partner was playing a copyright friendly puzzle game.

"They all had better things to do than sit inside all day and listen to a long-winded speech," Sideways explained.

"… But… I need to give inspirational speeches to keep morale up in this endless and nightmarish war," Optimus explained.

"Maybe if you stopped calling attention to the horrible, nightmarish war in this speech that's supposed to lift all our spirits?" Yang suggested, without looking up from her Scroll at all.

"… Perhaps you have a point," Optimus observed, "Now, where was I? Ah yes!"

The Autobot leader cleared his throat.

"… Wait, you have to clear your throat?" Ruby questioned.

"Yes," Optimus answered.

"Why?" Ruby asked, "Your mechanical body doesn't produce mucus."

"Well you see…" Optimus' voice trailed off, "Wait, why do I need to clear my throat?"

The entire room fell into silence, nobody quite sure if they wanted the answer to that question or not.

"Regardless," Optimus resumed, "The mysteries of our biology are not why I gathered you all here today! For you see, I gathered us here to remind us all of what we're fighting for! All of us have-"

"All six of the people here," Sideways remarked.

"Hush!" Hot Rod snapped back.

"… All of us have fought long and hard to get to where we are today!" Optimus continued, "From the political stage, to the trenches of Tyger Pax, to the-"

"I just realized something!" Ruby suddenly blurted out.

"I see that my speech has lifted your morale," Optimus observed.

"Oh heck no!" Ruby replied as she zipped out of her chair, "I just noticed that Sideways' friend and I aren't actually part of your chain of command! We literally have no reason to be here!" She zipped over to Sideways' mysterious friend. "Wanna go and do something actually fun?"

"Oh nice try, but the two of us are way too close for her two just-"

Sideways' friend nodded, and disappeared with Ruby in a whirlwind of petals.

"… Oh sure, just abandon me to my fate!" Sideways shouted, "We'll see who's laughing in a few months!"

"Wait a second," Yang realized as she rose to her feet, "I just realized that I'm technically-"

"Training to be an Autobot medic," Bumblebee interrupted, "Ergo, you're part of Optimus' chain of command."

Yang snapped her fingers and went back to sitting down as the most emotive hat Bumblebee would ever wear.

"… I'm really feeling the love hear, Autobots," Optimus replied, "I truly am."

"Look, if your speech inspires anything in the Autobots present, and that leads to greatness down the line, then there's no way this was a waste of time!" Hot Rod pointed out.

"Oh I'm inspired to do something alright," Sideways mumbled as he sharpened his buzzsaw.

"As I was saying," Optimus continued, "It is days like today that make it all worth it, that inspires true courage in the Sparks of all who bear witness to its beauty, that-"

.

Yang was trying to keep track of where Optimus was going with this, she truly was. However, she was rapidly understanding why it was Megatron who gave the speeches back when the Autobots and Decepticons were just Ascenticons, and also why it was Greenlight who ran for office in the prequel.

Or was it normal for Cybertronian speeches to normally go in circles? Yang wasn't sure, she was just a chibified version of herself with certain traits exaggerated or invented for the sake of comedy. It was big Yang's job to worry about all that philosophical stuff, chibi Yang just lived for delivering punishment upon her enemies (Heh, Yang chuckled) and making things explode! What was the point of giving an inspiring speech in a cutesy comedy spin-off?

Was this truly all there was to life? Listening to the super-deformed Autobot leader going off on an endless spiel that ultimately means nothing in the grand scheme of things?

Maybe if I blink real slowly, this'll be less boring, Yang pondered as she closed her eyes, and immediately lost consciousness.

.

What's that rumbling sound Yang's making? Bumblebee wondered as Yang snored, too distracted by the snoring to notice.

Thud!

"Oh my face…" Yang groaned.

"Oh look at that, the human is dying!" Sideways announced, "I'll go grab my partner and get an ambulance to either treat her injuries or put her out of her misery!"

"Actually I'm-" Yang was interrupted by Sideways dispersing into a cloud of TV static and flying out the exit, "… Fine."

"Are you kidding me?" Bumblebee remarked as he picked Yang up, "Your head is swollen!"

"That's just the artstyle Bee," Yang replied.

"What artstyle?" Bumblebee questioned, "This story is conveyed through text!"

"I… Uh…"

"Oh no! She has a concussion!" Bumblebee transformed into vehicle mode, dropping Yang onto his motorcycle-mode's saddle, "We need to hurry to Vale!"

"Bumblebee I'm fiIIINE!" she grabbed onto the handlebars for dear life as Bumblebee zipped out of the room.

Optimus and Hot Rod starred out the exit, following Yang's echoing screams.

"… Don't worry sir, I'll always be here for-"

"No, you can go and enjoy the sun if you want," Optimus sighed.

"Oh thank Primus!"

The End!

a/n: Originally, this was going to be about Yang and Ruby trying to see under Optimus Prime's mouthplate, but I couldn't come up with any gags related to that. So yeah, have this instead.

And now, for the reviews:

TomtomtheWriter: Yeah, there's a reason the first season of RWBY Chibi debuted after Volume 3. As things got dark much quicker, I figured it might be best to introduce the Chibi spin-off a bit sooner than canon had.

Next up, either another Cybertronian Myth, the next chapter of Blades and Roses, or the next chapter of Like Judas Thereupon Kissed. Whichever gets finished first.