A/N: I just had to get this out of my system after that tweet from Julie last night. Like, is my mental health a joke to you, Ms. Julie? I also know that most of us agree that by now the first Rollisi ILY has already happened, but let's say it hasn't. If you're just here for the Rolivia parts you might want to skip this chapter since this is mostly Rollisi.
Ok, so here we go. The way episode 8 would end if I had access to the writer's room. And if SVU was on HBO. Because, well… You'll see.
Bound to happen
"Hey." Amanda's voice is soft, bordering on shy, as she knocks on his open door before closing it quietly behind her.
He looks up from his desk as she enters his office, but he doesn't respond. There's hurt and worry and guilt on his face, the anger from before nowhere to be seen.
They stare at each other for a while, trying to read each other's eyes and expressions now that the storm has passed. Now that they're not screaming at each other in the middle of the bustling hallway inside the courthouse.
"Listen-" Amanda starts, wrapping her arms around herself.
"I'm sorry." He interrupts. "This got out of hand."
"I'm sorry, too." She responds, her voice thick with relief, her body slowly relaxing now that most of the tension is finally letting go. "I shouldn't have pushed you like that."
"No." Carisi shakes is head while getting up from his chair and moving towards her. "Never apologize for doing your job."
"But-"
"No." He says again, gently cupping her cheek with his hand before running said hand through her hair. After seven years, the ADA still can't decide if he prefers it loose like this, or in a ponytail. She just looks so damn good with both. "This was a complicated case." Carisi continues. "And I… I guess it was bound to happen."
Her heart nearly stops then. And for a moment she just blinks up at him while holding her breath. Is he saying what she thinks he's saying? Is he really ending things because of a case? Just the thought of that forces tears to well up in her eyes and she looks away abruptly.
"Wh- Amanda? What's wrong?" He asks, quick to notice the change in her demeanor.
"No, I get it." She says, taking a few steps backwards, releasing herself from his gentle touch. "Your job is important and we're… I'm getting in the way of that."
At first his eyes narrow, a confused expression painting his face before realization sets in and his mouth falls open. "That's-"
"Like you said, it was bound to happen." Amanda shrugs, looking down at her feet, suddenly wishing for a hole in the ground to just swallow her right then and there.
"Amanda." His voice is so soft it forces her to look at him again, even though she doesn't want to. It just hurts too much, staring into those eyes, knowing that a few good months was all they got. After years of waiting and longing.
"You don't get it, do you?" He asks then, head tilted and the hint of a smile on his lips.
"That you're breaking up with me?" Amanda scoffs, surprised that her voice didn't just crack. "Yeah, I got that."
But that's when he moves closer, his hands coming up to gently caress her slightly flushed face. "I'm not breaking up with you." He grins, echoing her own words from a couple of months ago in such a heartfelt way it makes her breath hitch. "I love you."
"You-" She whispers, interrupted by the sudden need to swallow that massive lump in her throat. "Love me?"
"Yes, you, I love you." Carisi says, nearly laughs, wrapping his arms around her.
"But-"
"What I meant was," he pauses while placing a reassuring kiss to her forehead before leaning back to look at her, making sure that he has her attention, "that a case forcing us to figure out how to do this was bound to happen."
"So what you're saying is…"
"Is that we need to disclose. Unless you're breaking up with me?"
"Never." Amanda mumbles before finally capturing his lips with her own. "I love you." She smiles against his mouth, inhaling sharply through her nose when he deepens the kiss.
Her head is spinning now and she's not entirely sure if it's because of the way his tongue swirls around her own, or the whirlwind of emotions that she's been through in the last twenty four hours. But in the end it doesn't really matter, because she can feel him against her hip and it makes her inner walls clench around nothing, suddenly desperate to feel him inside of her.
"We should probably stop." He mumbles before going in for another kiss, this one even deeper.
"Mm." Amanda nods, her hands already busy pulling at his suspenders. "Probably." She mumbles back as she starts working on his pants.
"We can't do this here." The ADA says, but it's really just a halfhearted attempt at sounding reasonable because his hand is now moving inside of her shirt, making her moan when he palms her breast.
"Of course not." She whimpers when he brushes his thumb over a hard nipple, forcing her to momentarily stop the process of undressing him. "That would be reckless."
"So reckless."
She starts to move then, guiding them towards the couch in his office, ending the short journey when she gives him a push, making him sit down while she hovers over him.
"We have to be quick."
"Trust me, counselor." Amanda smirks while quickly kicking off her boots and stepping out of the pants that he had somehow already gotten mostly undone during their make out session. And then she straddles him. "That won't be a problem."
While she does prefer those rare and sacred moments when they're free to take their time and not rush through it, she has to admit that this is definitely a nice alternative. At least for right now when her body is running on need and need only.
"You good?" He asks while reaching down, moving a hand between them to make sure that she's ready. Ever the gentleman.
"Good." Amanda confirms through a low moan, followed by a gasp when he moves her underwear to the side to get full access. "So fucking good."
She grinds against his hand, but when he moves his hand further down, she grabs his wrist. "No time for that." She whispers in between kisses while lifting herself up enough for him to free himself from the confines of his suit pants.
He groans when she replaces his hand with hers, stroking him firmly a few times before aligning him with her entrance.
"I love you." Carisi mumbles against her open mouth as she sinks down on him. And it makes her lips curl into a smile, because of course this man is capable of turning a quickie in his office into something sweet and romantic.
"Love you." She mumbles back, granting them a short moment of calm and bliss and that delicious feeling of him filling her completely. And then she moves. Her hips rocking against his lap, faster and faster until their kisses turn sloppy and it's basically just them breathing in each other's air.
When she notices the familiar way he trembles beneath her and the sounds he's making, she reaches down between them to locate her clit. Her circling fingers eliciting a sharp cry that makes her bite down on her lip, somewhat aware of the fact that they are, after all, in a very public place.
"Close." She admits, fastening the grip she has on his shoulder. "So close."
And not long after, they swallow each other's sounds of pleasure, his release quickly following hers. She sinks down in his lap, a mix of fatigue and euphoria rushing through her as she leans most of her weight on him.
"That has to be a new record." He says, chuckling when a winded "whew" leaves her mouth.
"Mm." Amanda hums, resting her forehead against his. "I needed that."
"Let's get dressed so I can finish up here, and I'll meet you at home."
"You say that like I'm supposed to be able to move right now." She laughs tiredly, giving him a final peck before lifting herself up on unsteady legs.
They share a few mischievous looks as they work to get their clothes back on, but their sly smirks are quickly wiped off and away when suddenly, they're no longer the only people in the room.
All things considered, it could've been worse.
Olivia could've walked in three minutes earlier and gotten a very different view than what she's looking at right now. But still, there is no way for them to lie their way out of this. Not when Amanda's belt is still hanging loosely on her hips and Carisi is busy tucking his shirt in. His inner guilty catholic now very much at full display.
"I- Uh-" Olivia stutters, her eyes moving from the detective's undone pants to the floor between them.
"Liv." Amanda whispers, the panic evident on her face.
"Cap-" The ADA starts, clearly not knowing where to go from there.
For a moment it's like time stands still, until Olivia shakes her head, looking like she's trying to get rid of some mental image before she opens her mouth to speak. "My office, Rollins. Now."
Thirty minutes later, heart pounding wildly in her chest, she knocks carefully before opening the door to her captain's office. Avoiding the other woman's stare as she steps inside.
"How long?" Olivia asks after a few seconds of awkward silence.
"Since June." Amanda answers honestly, eyes trained on the tiny RBG figure standing on the brunette's desk. Briefly getting the sense that the late Supreme Court justice is judging her, too.
"The wedding?"
The blonde nods a single time. "Mhm."
"So it's serious?"
"Yes." She lifts her head then and their eyes finally meet. For some reason feeling like she needs to look at her when she says these words out loud. "It's serious."
"Ok."
The silence that follow is deafening and Amanda is just about to beg her to say something, anything at all, when Olivia finally speaks.
"Well…" She starts, leaning back in her chair, forcing the detective to hold her breath. "It was about time."
Amanda blinks a few times, eyebrows furrowed as her brain tries to process what her boss just said. "Sorry?"
"I've been waiting years for this to finally happen."
"You have?"
"Please." Olivia scoffs. "It's been so obvious."
"Huh." She doesn't really know what else to say to that, knowing that the other woman probably has a point.
"But-" The brunette continues, her voice strict and soft all at once, "as much as I hate doing this, I can't give you any special treatment just because we're friends. Especially not since we're friends."
"I get that."
"And hiding a relationship with our ADA is not something I can just ignore."
Amanda nods again, her eyes falling down on the desk between them.
"So, I have to suspend you. Two weeks."
"Two weeks?" The blonde blurts out. She knows Olivia isn't doing this out of malice, and she also know that with any other captain she would've probably been busy putting her personal belongings in a box right about now. But still, accepting the thought of not working for two weeks might require some effort.
"Hey." Olivia says, her voice definitely more strict than soft now. "You're lucky I'm not demanding a transfer."
Amanda sighs. "Yeah, no, you're right." She mumbles a quiet "thank you" as she turns to leave, but the other woman's voice stops her.
"And please, for the love of god, keep the sex at home. Or at least not in the office. Any office."
It feels like her cheeks are on fire, but she still has to stifle a smile because behind Olivia's stern words, there's definitely a hint of playful mocking. After knowing her for ten years, she would recognize that tone anywhere.
"Understood, captain." She says as her restless hand reaches for the door handle.
"Also…" Olivia adds. "I'm really, really happy for you."
Amanda finally lets herself breathe properly as a smile spreads across her face. Most of the initial shame and embarrassment gone when their eyes meet again. "Thank you."
A/N: And that's how episode 8 ends, no matter what happens tomorrow.