Chapter 27: "Not Exactly the Drama I Expected"

[Tsurumi Rumi POV]

Making breakfast.

Hachiman making breakfast.

ME sitting at the table, across from HER, who was sitting next to HIM, eating the breakfast HE made.

HIKIGAYA HACHIMAN making breakfast for ME and HER.

My day was ruined as soon as it began. The image of Hachiman in an apron was stuck in my mind. He had lazily tied his hair up and I couldn't keep my eyes away from his neck and shoulders where the apron was tied. He wasn't muscular, per se, but lithe. Defined muscles would flex with every movement in a pleasing way. His mouth was pursed in an expression I had never seen before, as he concentrated on cooking the omelet and vegetables correctly.

On one hand, it was absolutely mesmerizing. On the other hand, it IRRITATED me. On the other, other hand, it made me depressed knowing it was because of HER that brought these changes in him.

The bell that signaled the end of classes rang. The silence and tranquility of the classroom during school hours suddenly became loud and obnoxious. Conversations about going out to eat after school, or some assignment, or whatever. It was annoying. Students dispersed quickly, like rats fleeing a sinking ship except less interesting. I sighed deeply and began to pack my things.

I had a date with forced recreation, and unfortunately it tended to bite back at me.

My high school was like other high schools in Tokyo in how it mandated club membership. I wished to be part of the 'go-home' club. Alas, a certain Hiratsuka Shizuka was also teaching here. Since the moment I went up to a new grade, she was watching me like a hawk. Always keeping tabs on me, no doubt feeding information to Hachiman. Shizuka expected me to follow school rules, especially those that forced social interaction. Something about how she refused to raise another pseudo-intellectual snob that spouted poor interpretations of Nietzsche. Hachiman always got defensive about that.

I detested her ability to detect when I tried to play hooky. It must be a sixth sense. What a terribly useless ability.

Well, I better head to the Drama Club now.

"Tsurumi-chan?"

Like an animal that suddenly noticed a predator, my entire body went ramrod still. Confusion overpowers the anxiety bubbling at the bottom of my stomach. No one approached me in class. Ever. I turned around to see… the Class Rep. She was a mousey little girl with brown hair that fell to her shoulders. Pale skin and bright green eyes that spoke of foreigner blood somewhere up the family tree.

Wait a moment. What was up with that honorific? We're definitely not friends. Wait, did we do something that made her think we were friends? Oh no. Think, Rumi! Think!

Crap, she looked like she wanted a response to start a conversation. Crap, crap, crap. What's her name?

Uhhhhhh…

"Y-yes? Class Rep?"

Genius. Job titles were as good as names anyway. After all, our careers define us. Yes.

"Let's walk to the club together, okay?"

Wait, what?

"E-excuse m-me?" I squawked. I hated how feeble and shocked my voice sounded. Human interaction always weakened me so much, I felt like a Grineer soldier going up against a team of Tenno running Corrosive Projection for a high level mission. [1]

Class Rep's hand came out, piercing through my imaginary barrier, and grabbed my own. "I insist."

Oh.

Fuck.

This wasn't a scenario I accounted for.

I don't remember answering verbally, but I may have nodded. Class Rep pulled me from my seat and into the hallway, where we continued at a brisk pace. Students walked by us. To my immense relief, no one paid attention to us. Any misunderstandings that could have led to an imaginary shoujo-ai storyline was not to be. My honor was preserved.

We made our way down a flight of stairs. The Class Rep looked over her shoulder frequently. For a second I thought she was worried that I would run away, but her eyes always focused behind me, towards the hallways we had just walked down. Only when we were in front of the Drama Club room did she finally let go of my hand.

We both exhaled in relief simultaneously, but for two different reasons.

"Sorry about that Tsurumi-chan." Apologized Class Rep, clapping her hands together and bowing her head. "I overheard Takeshi-kun and a few of the boys make a dare to ask you out on a date after class."

"O-oh…"

What in the world? No really, did we become friends when I wasn't looking? I need a synopsis of the last arc or something. At least a flashback scene. Please.

Hold on...

"Wait, they wanted to ask me out?" I asked incredulously. Any sense of uneasiness was blown away by a sheer wave of distaste. "On a dare?"

Class Rep nodded. "They said that they wanted to do it at the end of mathematics class. I wanted to make sure you weren't bothered by them, so I sort of pushed my company on to you. Sorry, again."

"But… why…?" Nothing she said made sense. Well they made sense, but I don't understand how they were connected. No one talked to me in class, and I don't talk to them. I was sure no one in class even recognized me. And I didn't really go out of my way to do the same to them. It was a perfect symbiotic relationship where neither side did anything. It was great.

"Uhhhh. Tsurumi-chan? You're kind of the class idol."

"Huh!?" What was this girl saying? Was she actually insane?

"Mhm. A lot of the girls think you're hard to approach. The guys think you're too intimidating, so I guess they see asking you out as a test of courage?"

"I uh… thanks? I guess?" How am I supposed to respond to that?

"Not a problem!" She flashed me a bright smile that blinded me, illuminating the edges of my dark heart.

Why was she so… nice? I could hardly believe what I was listening to. She didn't look like she was lying, but she has to have some sort of ulterior motive, right? I felt as if someone had won the lottery, but gave me the ticket. I wasn't being hyperbolic at all. Of course not.

No, everyone loved the Class Rep. She seemed like she was one of those 'damned normies' Hachiman was always raving about. How they have some super power called the "Zone of Enders" or something. [2] He described it as a charismatic forcefield. I could see why he didn't like them. Just thinking about her social acuity angered me. I wasn't jealous or anything. Not at all.

"Well, let's go to club!" She walks into the Drama Club with steps of confidence I envied.

It took me several moments to realize that she had walked into the same room as my destination.

"..."

SHE'S PART OF THE DRAMA CLUB!? I rushed into the room. We were part of the same club and I never noticed? The shocking revelations don't seem to be ending, as she was greeting the script-writing team and sitting with them. The script-writing team I was a member of. Don't tell me she's there too!?

I took a seat lethargically and waited for the club's initial meeting to get underway. Alas, any time for self reflection and reconsideration of my life choices was dashed soon after.

"Oi, what's with that expression? Did someone steal your dog?" A girl with short cut blonde hair and hazel eyes plopped herself down on the seat next to me. This rough-specimen of a female is Chisato Haruko. My friend. Nay, my best-friend, or so she declared one day. The jury was still out if that was the case (not that she seemed to care).

"I'm fine." I answered with a huff, fully aware that it wouldn't do any good in convincing her. The way she rolled her eyes was evidence enough.

"I don't believe she has a dog, Haruko." Another girl sat on my other side, albeit with far more grace than Haruko. Her shoulder-length red hair was tied into a ponytail and fluttered as she turned towards me. Her gray eyes pinned me with a cold and calculating look, as if she was planning out my death in 49 different ways. This sociopath was my other friend, Hanae Akari.

And together we formed Team Getter: Problem Children! [3] That was how Shizuka referred to us anyway.

"Oh?" Haruko blinked. "So your boyfriend cheated on you then?"

I started coughing violently. "Hachiman isn't my boyfriend!" I sputtered.

"Hmm…? So your 'not-boyfriend'..." she made a show of making air quotations. "...Cheated on you then?"

"Facetiousness and mockery won't make your statements any more true."

"They certainly aren't making them any more false."

"That's circular logic."

"It's still logic.

"That's circular logic too!"

"So did something happen or not?"

I huffed. "Kind of."

"Did he kill someone? And now he wants you to hide the body?" Akari leaned forward, and spoke in a whisper. "D-did he make you eat it?"

"... What did you watch last night?" My flat words caused Akari to flick her eyes away. I hoped it was out of embarrassment.

"An American psychological crime-drama. Quite visceral."

"Oh, I bet…" A sigh escaped my lips. There was no getting around this, so I might as well. I explained what happened this morning. After coming back from Chiba at the end of break, I went to Hachiman's apartment to make some breakfast. I took great care in detailing the utter ridiculousness of the scenario that had played before me earlier today.

"So Rumi-Rumi…" Started Haruko, with a strange pondering expression.

"Please decide to call me Tsurumi or Rumi, not a bastardized combination of both…"

"... Let me get this straight. This guy you've had a crush on since forever ago is suddenly shacking up with his old high school flame. Who, if I may add, he hasn't seen or talked to in years?"

"When you crudely put it like that…"

"And he made you guys breakfast this morning? What's the big deal?"

"He never cooks!" I half hissed and half sobbed. "It's me! I always cook! Me! She's making him weird!"

"I believe I understand the crux of the issue." Akari interjected with a cool voice. "Rumi is apprehensive that she's losing her advantage. A key to a man's heart is through his stomach. Her niche of being the housewife and staple of his morning via going over often to make him meals has been taken away by an invader who is as familiar with him as she. He also seems to be putting in effort, doing things he normally doesn't. We can logically assume that this new girl has been having profound effects on the man in question."

"Rumi's cooking is great though!" Exclaimed Haruko, crossing her arms. "Her bentos are amazing! Doesn't that count for something?"

Note: she steals my bentos all the time. So her words are probably true.

"She made dinner for his birthday a month ago. It was really good… like a professional chef kind of good. She's also close to his sister, so she knows exactly what he likes to eat…" I felt like crying just speaking the words.

Akari brought a hand to her bottom lip. "This is quite the predicament."

"Ok, ok, ok!" Haruko waved her arms wildly to dispel the negative vibes. "So the enemy has better intel and is actually skilled. We just need to get creative. Leverage Rumi-Rumi's other assets to attack from where he least expects it! If his legs are shot, we can just hit him till he drops!"

"Why are you guys talking about me like I'm some kind of prizefighter?" I asked blankly.

"I got it!" Haruko, expectedly, ignored me and proceeded to push right into my face until our faces were inches away. "Hey Rumi-Rumi, you're really pretty you know? Doesn't your man notice that?"

"... You lost me."

Haruko, again, paid no attention to me and continued on her tirade. "And I mean on the days you go to his place you wear a different perfume, right? We just gotta keep up stuff like that, the little things he'll notice!"

"HOW DID YOU—!?" I could feel my face explode red like a volcano. I didn't tell ANYONE I did that! Was it that obvious?! WAS THAT WHY SHIZUKA GIVES ME THOSE WEIRD SMILES ON THOSE MORNINGS!?

Akari's eyes widened as she got the gist of what Haruko was trying to get at. "Oh I see! Rumi can use her proximity to make him notice her beauty. Men are easily entranced by a pretty face, but to get their attention you use a pleasant scent. But how?"

"Easy, we just need to accentuate how Rumi-Rumi is superior to this new broad!" Haruko exclaimed triumphantly, nodding at her own brilliance. "Hey Rumi-Rumi, can you show us a picture of this girl? We gotta adjust your look to directly attack her weak points."

I thought for a second. There was merit here. Maybe. "I might have a picture… actually I guess we can look for it online."

I pulled out my smartphone and put the name "Yukinoshita Yukino" into the search bar. I opened the very first link. It loaded an article from the Culture section of a newspaper. It detailed a formal ball that was hosted by the Yukinoshitas a year earlier in celebration of the completion of one of their mega structures. The image was in color and high resolution, showing the Yukinoshita family standing in expensive gowns and tuxedos. Yukino was the one all the way on the left, and…

"I-um… wow." Haruko was for once in her lifetime, stunned. As if she couldn't find the words to express her thoughts.

"She is…" Akari scrunched her eyebrows. "... A goddess?"

Haruko leaned closer to the picture. "This has to be photoshopped, right? No way a girl can look that perfect."

"She looks exactly the same in real life." I admitted sadly.

"Hold on," said Akari as she also took a closer look at my phone. With a finger she scrolls up to the text part of the article. "Isn't Yukinoshita a member of the Diet?"

"Yeah, she's his daughter."

Haruko looked at both of us with a bewildered face. "Wait, I don't know what you two are talking about. Explain Aki."

Akari sighed. "Yukinoshita Youshirou is a member of the Diet. He also owns Yukinoshita Construction Corporation, which produces giant apartment and office buildings. A lot of them are huge commercial successes. They are one of the wealthiest families in Japan from what I hear."

Haruko groaned. "Ok, so she's basically beautiful and rich. She must be a dumb bimbo. The universe wouldn't be that unfair, would it? Rumi is smart as a whip, we can use that."

My lips curved into a bitter, bitter smile. "Apparently she was at the top of her class at some elite high school Shizuka used to teach at. And she studied abroad, Oxford I think."

"Oh my…" Akari's face slackened.

But not as shocked as Haruko, who threw her arms in the air. "Jeez. She's drop dead gorgeous, rich, can cook, and to top it all off she's super smart? And this guy managed to attract THAT!? I'm sorry Rumi-Rumi, but you're outclassed. Actually, I'm more worried about you trying to go after someone like him. A girl of that level came looking for him after forever, not the other way around."

"Haruko speaks the truth." Akari nodded. "A man of such calibre must be dangerous. An absolute lecher. It's best you stay away from him, especially as lovestruck as you are."

I put my face in my hands and bent over. "Just leave me alone."

I was saved by the Club President calling for everyone's attention. The Club President doubled as the Director this year, which meant meetings were shortened considerably. Next to him stood the Club Treasurer and Vice President. The Treasurer in particular seemed to hold the attention of everyone in the room.

Of course he did, this was Ito Mitsunobu we're talking about. He had a handsome almond shaped face and gentle facial features. High cheekbones gave him an effeminate look, one that matched well with his regal posture. Soft wavy brown hair and warm green eyes completed the package that made him the heartthrob of the female population. Ito noticed my gaze, and he gave me a smile.

I snarled back at him.

Haruko and Akari snorted, trying to contain their laughter.

If the Class Rep irritated me (still in the air), Ito was worse. I HATED him. This bastard was constantly bothering me ever since we were partnered for a history project. He had given me all these weird looks when I told him we needed to do this project as fast as possible (so I didn't have to talk to him more than necessary). I still don't know which screws were loose in his head, because he kept trying to talk to me.

"Good afternoon, everyone." The Director looked over the room with a satisfied nod. "I'm glad to see that nearly all the club is attending these meetings. Your consistent participation has let us smoothly move the production of the play along."

He paused as the crowd politely clapped their hands.

"As everyone knows, we selected the male lead nearly two weeks ago: our own treasurer, Ito Mitsuke-san." Informed the director as he gestures towards Ito. "We have spent the meetings since whittling through the tryouts for the main female role. I apologize for the delays regarding this, but we had a record number of applicants and it was only fair to give them all a chance."

Hah! Served you right. Ito was the sole cause of this problem. The second he had applied for the male lead, the girls in the club jumped at the opportunity to be the female lead in this western-romance play. There wasn't even a kiss scene in it, they just wanted the bragging rights.

"I'm happy to say that we have come down to four contenders and will most likely select them by the end of today."

His talk continued for a few more minutes, touching upon the tasks left to complete before rehearsals could start and the version of the play was finalized.

When it was over, I looked over at Akari with a smile on my face. "Congrats for making it through to the final round of auditions."

Akari, despite being the straight-laced model student who excelled in science and math, was actually a fan of theatre. She had taken up acting as a hobby, and joined the club to improve herself. Akari had filled some minor roles in previous productions, but she had said that she thought she had enough experience to go for the big part in her second year of high school.

A ghost of a smile graced her face. "It's too early to celebrate, I still need to get the role."

"Oh, look at you. Putting on that tough face." Haruko laughed, getting up and giving Akari a big hug. "Just accept the compliments 'kay? You're doing great!"

Akari blushed at the contact, but nodded. Haruko and Akari were childhood friends, and their closeness was obvious.

"It will be tough." Akari said after Haruko let her go. "Kojima-san has been unusually passionate about this…"

Our eyes travel to a small clique of girls who were chatting in the corner. One of them stood out, black hair with the tips highlighted in a dark brown. Kojima Kotori. She was pretty, I could acknowledge that. Her eyes were a fiery brown that ensured retribution to anyone who came in her way. She was the de facto leader of the clique of "popular" people in school. We had the great misfortune in tussling with her a few times. We may or may not have taken pleasure in getting in her way.

"Well duh, it's because Ito's there. She's head over heels for him." Haruko scoffed. "Do your best, alright? Fair and square. Also make sure to kill her during the auditions, preferably with a flint knife." [4]

"Hold on, that last bit is contradictory to the intention…" Akari said.

No love was lost between Haruko and Kojima. Haruko took it personally when Kojima had come to pick a fight with me during lunch one day. Demanding to know what type of relationship I had with Ito. I was too flabbergasted to even make a response. I was pretty sure I had absolutely nothing to do with that insect who was always smiling whenever we traded looks. Haruko happened to be there at the time and spat right back, saying who I hung out with and what I did was none of her "Prissiness' business."

And well, I'm sure you can imagine what happened afterwards...

Haruko waved Akari away, promising that homicide was just many a tool Akari could use. With a raised eyebrow Akari headed to the audition area, down by the sound room which was outfitted with a miniature stage. Haruko waved and ran towards another group of people that sat by the work tables. Haruko only really joined this club because Akari and I were here, and was part of the stagehand crew. Apparently she got along well with them and was quite handy with a brush and paint. She enjoyed bully— I mean leading, the younger students.

I made my way to the script team's room, which was next door. I walked in carefully, making sure not to disturb the members who were scribbling down different addendums and corrections to their specific parts. I wasn't involved in the creative decisions, but was actually in charge of dialogue. Which was great, I never had to speak to anyone in person! The greatness of the Internet allowed me to trade comments online.

I was particularly proud of how they turned out. I had asked Shizuka and Hachiman for some guidance, and the final product was one that was unanimously accepted by the team.

I took a seat and had just put down my bag when I heard a whine. This was followed by another, and then another. All members of the team looked in confusion at their phones. My phone however, did not make a noise. I felt someone tap me on the shoulder, I turned around to see Class Rep standing behind me with a worried face.

"Tsurumi-chan, can we talk outside?"

It was clear there was a problem, and I'm not heartless enough to say no.

"You're friends with Hanae-chan right?" Class Rep asked when we were out in the hallway.

"Yeah, I am?" Oh god Rumi, why must you answer a question with a question!?

"Well...I just got this message…" The Class Rep handed her a phone with its screen on and showing a text message.

HANAE AKARI AND THE DIRECTOR ARE GOING OUT.

And then another.

HANAE AKARI ONLY GOT THIS FAR IN AUDITIONS BECAUSE SHE WAS THE DIRECTORS GIRLFRIEND.

And then another.

HANAE AKARI IS A WHORE, SCREWING ANY GUY TO GET WHAT SHE WANTS.

And finally a picture.

It was a grainy photo of the Director and Akari standing in a corner of the hallway, he was looking down at her and she was looking up at him. The glare of the sun from the window made it impossible to tell the distance between their faces. But it was obvious someone wanted to make it look like they were kissing.

My hands started shaking as a single phrase came out of my mouth in an enraged whisper. "Chainmail!"

Class Rep nodded sadly.

Chainmail. A method of spreading rumors where messages are rapidly sent from one device to every contact in their list. It was like wildfire, and could spread throughout a school within hours. It was nearly impossible to track down the source, but that was intentional. Its purpose was singular: to permanently damage the reputation of a victim.

And it seems like the victim now is Akari. For a club, everyone must have gotten this text quickly. From one person to the entirety of the Drama Club member-base in minutes. As well as a certain headstrong blonde.

Oh no. Haruko...

I handed the phone back to the Class Rep and sprinted off towards the audition hall. As I suspected, I saw Haruko stomping down the hallway, an expression of absolute fury on her face. Someone was going to die today, and I had a bad feeling I knew who it was. I quickly ran past her and blocked her way, raising my arms.

"Rumi-Rumi, outta the way."

"Haruko, you can't!" I urged. "Violence won't solve this. We don't even know who's spreading this!"

"Please, it's obvious." Haruko snorted, none of the anger fading from her eyes. "It's that Prissiness bitch. She can't beat Akari in acting so she has to resort to this bullshit? Two can play at that game, let me see how well she can act after my fist is done with her face!"

"HARUKO!" I exclaimed. "This is just going to make things worse for Akari, you know this!"

Haruko ground her teeth and fell to her knees, holding her head in her hands. "I KNOW! I know but.. But… this is middle school all over again! And I'm watching from the sidelines, AGAIN!"

I could only crouch down beside her and pat her back slowly.

Δ▼Δ

At some point the doors to the auditioning room swung open, with people filling out. All signs of the disaster were there. Everyone was talking in low whispers, throwing looks behind their backs, furtively trying to shift their eyes from their phones to one another. Kojima and her group were the only ones who seemed unaffected, laughing at a joke one of them just said.

I held Haruko's hand to keep her from rushing off and pummeling someone. On some level, she must have understood that she couldn't let her emotions get the better of her. She was trained in aikido and could have easily broken out of my grasp.

Finally, a pale looking Akari was accompanied by the Director and Vice President. The Director urgently said something to Akari, probably an apology. Akari shook her head, her eyes still downcast. The Vice President traded worried looks with the Director, the two headed off, quickly pacing down the hall.

"Akari!" Haruko called and ran up.

Akari looked up briefly, and I could see her wet eyes and broken mouth. Akari may seem like a cold, calm, and calculating individual, but it was an act. She was actually a sweet and sensitive girl on the inside. Haruko tugged at my arm, and I let her go.

"Come on, we're going to the roof. No words out of you." She wrapped a hand around Akari's wrist.

I followed them to the roof of the school. Haruko wrapped her arms around Akari as soon as the doors were shut. The space around us that was opened to the sky was filled by the sobs of Akari.

Interlude : "Tsurumi Rumi"

Reference List:

[1] Warframe reference. In higher-level missions at the end of the game, Grineer soldiers had ludicrous amounts of armor which nullified a lot of physical damage. The general strategy was for teams of players to equip Corrosive Projection, an ability that lowered the armor stats of enemies.

[2] A reference to Volume 2 where Hachiman describes a certain aspect of Hayama's persona to be some sort of ability called "the Zone." He says it's a charismatic aura that results from someone being so satisfied with life that they don't look down on others. As a result, they are able to manipulate people around them.

Rumi references "Zone of the Enders" which is a video game franchise by auteur Hideo Kojima (no the Kojima in this story is not related, I picked names from a generator). In the second game "Zone of the Enders 2: The Second Runner" we are introduced to the antagonist Nohman.

Nohman basically took over Mars with superior force, a strong lack of morals, and overwhelming charisma. He manipulated people (who are the bosses you encounter in the game) for the end-goal of "helping humanity." And by "helping," I mean he wanted to end humanity and use an energy source to jumpstart their evolution into a better life form.

Basically, Rumi has a really dark take on what Hachiman described.

[3] Getter Robo reference. To make the complete form of the titular mecha, Getter Robo, you needed 3 separate mechas that combined. A single pilot was needed for each piece, thus 3 pilots were needed. They formed Team Getter.

[4] Flint knives were used in Aztec rituals for human sacrifice. It was seen as a "greater good" for society. Haruko is trying to imply that Kojima being killed was actually for the good of everyone else. Thus, fair and square was hardly the intention Haruko was trying to get across.

Author's Note:

We begin the Rumi Arc. These will be several short chapters that shouldn't have too many delays between them. They're all written out, so it's only the editing and revision process left.

I'll come clean. These kind of suck, as I had written them way back in January of 2019. Seeing as how we're getting close to the end of Arc 1, I decided that rewriting all of this was an endeavor I didn't have the energy to do. My goal right now is to get to the end of Arc 1.

Regarding the chapter, it's based on my own experiences in the drama club in my own high school. I was part of the script-writing team and penned one of the productions from start to finish in my 3rd year. I'm a fan of theatre and wanted some way to sneak the passion in here.

I hope you enjoyed it this change of pace.

-SouBU

(Editors: Xynovitch, thatguy8801, yahallo)

Revision Log:

10/10/2020 - Rewrote the reference list to better explain what exactly was being referenced. Minor edits to author's note for clarity.