64. Revelations

Severus got his revenge after all. Not quite the way he had wanted it and on whom. It was Black he hated most of all, but Remus came a close second and he was an easier target. At breakfast the next day the news that the school's Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher was a werewolf suddenly spread faster than the story about the boggart Snape ever had.

Albus wasn't surprised when Remus showed up in his office not long after. "Can I come in?" he asked almost timidly.

"Of course." He pointed towards the chair in front of his desk.

Remus sat but only on the very edge of his seat. "I don't really know what to say. I'm handing in my notice, of course, so you don't have to give me the sack. But I was hoping you'd let me apologise first."

"I most certainly will if you'll allow me to do the same."

"Why would you apologise to me?" Remus asked, his eyes widening in confusion.

Albus heaved a sigh. "Severus shouldn't have done what he did. I warned you that something like this might happen, but I never imagined it would be such a wilful attempt to hurt you."

Remus grimaced. "Oh, well, we all went through a lot last night, Severus included. I, uh, heard that he was promised an Order of Merlin before it all… fell apart."

"Second Class," Albus nodded. "Possibly First Class."

"That's a lot to stomach," Remus was kind enough to say. "What I am was never really a secret. Or it shouldn't have been. I can't expect people to stop treating me with fear and hatred if I keep lying to them and let them find out the truth this way."

"That is both very wise and very brave of you," Albus said with a small smile. "I suppose you wouldn't be willing to change people's minds about lycanthropy by staying on here at Hogwarts?"

Remus stared at him for a minute. "You… you want me to stay? After everything I did?"

"What exactly did you do?"

"I've been negligent and grossly irresponsible – last night and all year, really ever since you've known me!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in anguish and shame. "I ran off yesterday without having taken my potion. I could have bitten Harry, Ron or Hermione or anyone else. You should have kicked me out of the castle for that first thing this morning without even waiting for my resignation."

"Not taking your potion was an accident and you didn't hurt anyone," Albus said softly. He saw no point in making Remus torture himself even more than he already did.

"That's no excuse!" he said stubbornly. "And it's not completely true. I assume Harry told you what happened?" When Albus nodded, Remus continued, "We had everything sorted out – for the most part. We were going to bring Peter up to the school, to you. He would have finally paid for his crimes and Sirius could have cleared his name. And then I transformed." Remus closed his eyes as though he still couldn't believe what had happened. "Because of that, because of me, Peter got away again and Sirius…"

"… is free and lives to fight another day. The whole world might not know about his innocence yet, but Harry does. I'd say he's in a much better place today than he was in yesterday."

Remus cocked his head. "How did you manage that by the way? To help Sirius escape?"

"I didn't do a thing," Albus said lightly.

Remus clearly didn't believe him, but he decided not to call him on it. "But you talked to Sirius before he got away?"

"I did."

"Then you know everything," Remus said flatly. "That I repaid you for all your kindness and generosity with deceit and lies. Every time I snuck out of the Shrieking Shack, even though it wasn't safe. I still have nightmares about the near misses we had. The times when I almost got away from James and Sirius and nearly bit someone. It's unforgivable. We always laughed it off, but we knew what we were doing was wrong. I knew it was wrong. But I couldn't tell them to stop because being with them was the only thing that made the transformations bearable."

He broke off to clear his throat, but his voice remained brittle and full of pain. "I loved and hated them for what they did for me. Just like I have loved and hated teaching this year. I wanted to tell you that Sirius is an Animagus so many times. I always chickened out. I convinced myself that he was using Dark Magic, not any of our old tricks. But the truth is I was simply too much of a ruddy coward to face you." He drew in a shaky breath before he lifted his sad, green eyes to meet Albus' quizzical, blue ones. "There isn't anything I can say to make this right. I just need you to know that I have nothing but the highest respect and gratitude for you and it kills me that I couldn't live up to your expectations of me. I'm sorry."

After a long pause during which they were both perfectly quiet, Albus said, "Thank you. For saying that."

Remus blinked. "Is that… all?"

"I can't give you absolution, Remus," Albus told him firmly but not unkindly. "You have to find that within yourself. But it seems to me that you know fully well what you did and you have more than suffered your fair share of the consequences." He gave him a sympathetic smile. "And if this helps at all… you may have unintentionally complicated things last night, but if you hadn't got Harry to open up to you and if you hadn't taught him how to produce that marvellous Patronus, he, Sirius and Miss Granger would most likely be worse than dead now."

"I won't pretend to understand what happened exactly, but I'm glad that something good came out of my being here," Remus said slowly.

"Believe me, Remus. You did a lot of good here. My offer for you to stay is genuine." Albus thought he should make that very clear.

But he had already expected Remus to decline. "I can't. Convincing the school governors to let me teach was one thing. You won't be able to convince the parents and you shouldn't. They're right not to want me near their children. I proved last night that even with the Wolfsbane Potion, it's too risky."

He looked around the room, searching for an explanation or any other way to forgive himself. "When I saw that it wasn't just Sirius who was on the grounds but that Peter was with him, that he was alive; when I understood what it meant… I should have come straight to you and told you. But all I could think about was to go and see for myself. See if I had really been wrong for all these years, blamed the wrong friend for being a murderer."

"The bonds of friendship and love we share with another person can be quite overwhelming. Certainly a lot stronger than the voice of reason or any sense of duty." Albus leaned back in his chair with a little half laugh. "The irony in all of this is that Severus told me this would happen. He just got the reasons all wrong. I really don't know if I should suspend him or apologise to him."

"Don't suspend him on my behalf," said Remus. "We, uh, attacked him pretty badly last night. I guess that makes us even."

"I'm not sure Severus or Sirius would agree with you on that."

Remus seemed to think that they had talked enough about the Potions master and focused entirely on his friend. "Do you know where he is now? Is he all right?"

"I'm sorry, Remus, but it's best that we don't know. At least for now. If you really wish to contact him, do so with the utmost caution," Albus advised him. "I can tell you that Sirius has a formidable companion by his side and he's clearly very resourceful – more so than even I ever knew. I think he'll be just fine."

"But he'll have to stay on the run forever," Remus said unhappily.

"Not forever, no. Only until we can find Peter Pettigrew."

"Right, one rat with a missing toe in all of Britain." Remus snorted. "Good thing I have nothing else to do now."

Albus laced his fingers together in thought. "Obviously I badly misjudged Peter once before, but he was never the kind of person who did well on his own. He was always anxious to latch onto someone more powerful. I have a feeling we'll be seeing him again sooner rather than later."

Remus appeared to be both sceptical and hopeful. "Well, I better go now and pack my things."

"I shall arrange for a carriage to take you down to the village." Albus watched him get up and head for the door. "Oh, and Remus? I hope you don't mind if, this time around, I keep in touch and perhaps come by once in a while for another cup of that wonderful camomile tea."

"It's still only teabags, but they're all yours whenever you like," Remus said offhandedly, but he looked pleased when he left.

Albus gave it some time before he went to organise that carriage for Remus. On his way he suddenly heard angry voices that drifted towards him through the corridor. It started out as an ominous buzzing sound and grew into a roaring screaming match.

He groaned and swiftly corrected his course. He knew both of those voices all too well.

"You can't fail a student after you already let him pass!" Minerva was yelling.

"I can if I changed my mind about how he did," Severus was snarling in response.

"On what grounds? The exam was days ago! Either his potion was fine or it wasn't!"

"Clearly, it wasn't."

"Then why did you say that it was when the potion was actually still right there for anyone to verify that?"

"I don't have to explain that to you as long as I'm still the Potions master at this school."

"This isn't about Potions at all. This is about you trying to fail a student you don't like because you can't just get rid of him like you got rid of Remus. And I won't stand for it!"

"I don't care if you take this standing up or lying down, you can't stop me from changing a student's grade in my own class."

"Try me."

"Is that supposed to impress me somehow?"

"I swear, Severus, if it were up to me…!"

"But it isn't up to you, so what are you going to do now, Minerva?"

Albus swept into the room, sorely tempted to separate the two of them by sending them each into a corner. "Nobody is doing anything until you've told me exactly what is going on here," he said instead. Minerva opened her mouth, but he beat her to it. "Actually, there's no need. I've heard enough – along with the rest of the castle I might add." He turned towards Severus. "You will not fail Harry on purpose."

Before the Potions master could protest, Albus held up a hand. "I have generously overlooked your reprehensible behaviour this year because I know that this entire situation has been difficult for you on a deeply personal level. But it now occurs to me that I've only given you just enough rope to hang yourself. After what you did this morning, you're on very thin ice, Severus. It may interest you that it was Remus who spoke out against punishing you. Still, I must strongly advise you not to give me another reason."

"I'm curious, Dumbledore," Severus said, his voice low and menacing, "what you think could be a worse punishment than this? To have to stay here and watch you while you free murderers, throw parades for werewolves and turn a blind eye to them teaching the next generation of rule-breaking, little brats – all while you deliberately ignore the people who are really doing your dirty work for you."

Albus honestly didn't know how to respond to that. "I'm sorry to hear that you're so unhappy, but I can't accept all the blame for it. We both know the choices you made that have led you to be here. Neither you nor I can change the consequences of those choices, no matter how much we wish it were so."

Now it was Severus' turn to have run out of things to say, at least in present company. Then again, his jaw was clenched so tightly in fury that he probably wouldn't have got a word out even if they had been alone. It was a lot harder when that fury wasn't only directed at other people but also, mostly, at himself. He turned and left.

After letting out a sad sigh, Albus glanced at Minerva. He expected her to vent her own anger on him or to ask a few questions about what she had just heard. But she raised both hands in a mute 'mea culpa' gesture and said nothing.

He flashed her a small, grateful smile and left to say goodbye to Remus.

In doing so, he learned from Harry that Sybill Trelawney had made her second real prediction the other day. Undisturbed this time and unbeknownst to anyone but Harry. Her timing could really use some work. Unsurprisingly, this prophecy wasn't any more cheerful than the first one. It confirmed Albus' suspicion that Pettigrew would seek out Voldemort and went so far as to prophesy that he would help his master return to power.

That wasn't entirely unexpected, but just once Albus would have liked to have someone tell him that all would be well.

Right after the summer term had ended and the students had left Hogwarts to go home for the holidays, Minerva Apparated to London to return the Time-Turner to the Ministry. Miss Granger had given it back to her before she had boarded the Hogwarts Express. Minerva was happy that she had come to that decision. Her current workload hadn't been sustainable and she was sure to have a distinguished career without continuing to study Divination or Muggle Studies.

After a bunch of paperwork Minerva was just about to leave the Ministry again when she ran into Albus. "Why didn't you tell me that you had business at the Ministry, too?" she asked, baffled by his behaviour.

"Because I don't have any business here today. Ludo Bagman has been asking to talk to me about something very exciting, apparently, but he keeps pushing back the meeting. So I thought I'd come and get you instead," he replied.

"Come and get me to go where?"

"Anywhere you'd like."

There was clearly more to it than that, but Minerva didn't press him for an explanation. If Albus wanted to spend the rest of the day with her, she certainly wouldn't complain. With Black escaping again and Remus being forced to resign, the school year had ended on a sad note for her. She was anxious for anything that would make her feel better.

Holding Albus' hand firmly in hers was a good start.

They only did that once they were alone, strolling along the coast on a secluded beach. It wasn't particularly windy today and Minerva listened to the gentle sound of the waves lapping the sand. They didn't seem to tire of doing that over and over again. It was restful and wonderfully calming.

"I must say I'm surprised that you didn't ask me more questions about what happened with Sirius Black," Albus said after a long, companionable silence.

"I wasn't in the mood for your half answers, so I didn't bother," Minerva said without thinking too much about it, but Albus pulled her to a sudden stop.

He looked decidedly unhappy, wounded even. "I never want you to feel that you can't talk to me."

Minerva rolled her eyes at him for being so dramatic about this. "Of course I can talk to you, but getting straight answers from you, that is a different matter entirely. You have to admit that."

He was quiet for a moment, as if he was debating with himself whether to argue about that. Eventually, he said, "This time I'd like to share what happened with you. You've known the people involved for a long time. I think you'd want to know and I want to be able to talk to you about it." Albus' face creased into a mocking smile. "But if you'd rather not bother with it…"

In response Minerva gave him a little nudge that nearly caused Albus to step into an oncoming wave. He narrowly avoided getting his feet wet. They both laughed about that until Albus reached out for her face to kiss her.

Only then did he tell her what had really happened that night.

Mostly, Minerva just listened without too many interruptions. When Albus was done, she still didn't say anything. She stared out to sea, breathing it in, struggling to hold on to the inner quiet she had felt earlier.

"Are you all right?" Albus asked softly, tugging on her hand a little so she would look at him again.

"Three Hogwarts students became Animagi illegally right under my nose and I – being their Head of House, their Transfiguration professor and an Animagus myself – did not notice what they were doing?" Her voice climbed steadily higher with every word.

Albus didn't look surprised that this was the thing she chose to comment on first. "We were at war, Minerva," he offered in an attempt to placate her. "You worked nights spying for the Ministry and you were grieving for the loss of your brother. Don't be too hard on yourself. In fact, I think you should be proud."

"Proud?" Minerva stared at him in utter disbelief. "Have you forgotten that you once threatened to expel me – me, Albus – when I so much as hinted at trying to become an Animagus unsupervised? Because I remember that conversation. I remember it vividly."

"Clearly," Albus chuckled, one brow raised. "I'm surprised you didn't realise that I was bluffing."

"It sounded like something you would do," Minerva said defensively. "You know, to 'save me from myself,'" she added, using air quotes.

"That is true," Albus conceded. "But we both know that you never needed anyone to save you from yourself and that I failed spectacularly at saving you from myself." He grinned wryly. "Either way, that's not what I meant. I just meant that as their teacher you gave them the skills they needed to accomplish this remarkable feat, even if you didn't know it at the time."

Minerva thought about that. "I'm not sure that makes me feel better."

"Then how about the fact that Sirius never betrayed us and neither we nor James and Lily were ever wrong to believe that he's indeed a good man?" Albus pointed out.

"That… is better, though I wish we hadn't doubted him for so long and completely ignored the real culprit. To think that I ever shed a tear because of Pettigrew's supposed death!"

"What's important is that we found out just in time."

That reminded her of one other thing. "So you told Miss Granger to use the Time-Turner to tamper with the timeline and to break the law when I specifically forbade her from doing exactly that?"

"There were extenuating circumstances," Albus hedged.

"The Ministry would have had my head if they had found out, never mind the circumstances!" Minerva argued.

Albus' eyes twinkled. "I did just say that I failed to save you from myself, didn't I?" Before she could answer, he went on earnestly, "What I did was to trust your judgment. You had chosen to let Miss Granger take on this responsibility. And as per usual, you were right to do so. Her brilliance and bravery helped to save two innocent lives."

Minerva couldn't help herself. She mellowed under his loving gaze. "I'm glad it worked out – for Sirius, for Buckbeak and for all of us." She squeezed his hand. "And I'm really glad you told me."

"So am I," he said quietly, with only the tiniest hint of hesitation.

It was enough. "But there's something you're not telling me, isn't there?" she ventured a guess. "Something bad that you're trying to keep to yourself."

Albus' brow furrowed. "Is this a 'give someone an inch and they'll take a mile' situation?" he quipped.

"No, this is a 'stopping the man I love from suffering in silence' situation," Minerva replied seriously.

"First of all, I'm not suffering. I'm here with you." Albus pressed a kiss to their interlaced hands. "But also yes, there's some evidence that Pettigrew's escape might be helpful to Voldemort in the long run."

Minerva considered that. "He can have him," she decided. "Pettigrew might have managed to become an Animagus somehow, but other than that he never impressed me. And he doesn't scare me either."

Albus smiled at her fiercely. "I never thought he would. Or anything else about all of this."

"Well, it is scary that we were all so wrong about Black for all this time." Minerva couldn't even imagine how much he had suffered in Azkaban. Quite frankly, she didn't want to.

"It's hard to see clearly in times of great loss. Hard to know who to trust, sometimes even more so when there's a lot of love involved. But that same love can also heal. Sirius and Remus have forgiven one another and Harry has learned that he has a godfather who cares about him deeply. There is beauty in all that suffering."

"There's beauty in everything the way you look at it," Minerva said, in awe of his ability to soothe her soul with just a few words.

"Perhaps not in everything," Albus amended. "But if we want to fight the darkness, it does help to look for the light." He cupped her cheeks in his hands. "Sometimes, one doesn't have to look all that hard to find it."

He pulled her towards him and tucked her in close, so that she was now breathing him in rather than the sea.

When his familiar scent of lemon grass and phoenix feather engulfed her, Minerva finally found that peace she had been searching for.

A/N: Book three finished! I'm a little sad actually because it'll only get darker from now on. But I hope I did 'Prisoner of Azkaban' justice. I know a lot of people like this book a lot - me included. So let me know. :)