A/N: Hey! I actually started working on this right after the season finale, but then came finals and life and everything that's been keeping me from writing lately. But, I'm FINALLY done with this semester so here I am! With the wedding coming up, I probably won't be able to write that much for a few weeks, but at least this is something; Some Rolivia comfort and then a different kind of comfort for Rollisi, hehe.

Realizations and Confessions

"You ready to head home?" Carisi asks, moving his arm away from her shoulder only to grab her hand a second later, giving it a light squeeze.

She smiles, nodding in response to his question. But right as she's about to mumble a "yeah" and maybe make a comment about how she wouldn't mind just a simple pizza for dinner tonight, her phone vibrates in her pocket.

"Hold that thought." Amanda mumbles instead, letting go of his hand before fishing the phone out, heart sinking when she sees who's calling.

"Liv? Everything alright?" She asks, praying that she's not being called back to work.

"You home?" Comes Olivia's reply, and it's the tone in her voice that tells Amanda that this has nothing to do with a new case.

"Leaving the courthouse now-" She says, using her free hand to lock fingers with Carisi as they walk down the stairs. "Where are you?"

"Forlini's." The captain mumbles, like she's not completely sure why she called, or like she's talking to herself more than the woman on the other end.

Amanda stops walking then, Carisi turning to look at her with questioning eyes. "Liv, what's wrong?"

It's probably not more than ten seconds, but it feels like an eternity before Olivia finally answers.

"Nothing. I'm fine."

The obvious lie makes the detective roll her eyes before glancing at the ADA who's still looking at her. "I'll be there in ten minutes." And before Olivia can protest, Amanda ends the call.

"Do you mind?" She asks Carisi, the guilt quickly creeping up on her when she realizes just how fast she was to change their plans of a quiet night at home, alone. "I won't be long, I promise. I just need to-"

"Check on her." He smiles, the tenderness in his expression letting her know that he's really ok with it, and that he gets it. "I know."

"Thanks." She breathes, reaching up to plant a quick kiss against his lips, caressing his cheek in the process. "I'll be home before the girls go to bed."

"Don't worry about that. I got this."

She grins before kissing him again. "I know you do."

…

"I didn't ask you to come." Olivia comments when Amanda sits down next to her nine minutes later. "I'm fine, Rollins." She adds when all she gets is a blank stare from her detective.

"Yeah, yeah. I've heard that one before." The blonde says before turning to the bartender, pointing towards Olivia's half empty glass. "I'll have what she's having."

They sit in silence for a while, Olivia running her fingers against the stem, Amanda looking over at her from time to time, patiently waiting for the other woman to say something. Knowing that prying and too many questions won't get her very far unless the woman next to her is ready to talk.

"Did you do it?" The brunette finally asks.

"Do what?"

"The hotel room." Olivia mumbles. "Your mom's… advice."

"Oh, we-" She clears her throat when she starts to realize what they're talking about. "We actually never got to that part. The part with the hotel room."

The face Olivia makes then causes Amanda to bite back a laugh; The crooked eyebrow, the expression lost somewhere between curiosity and being afraid to ask. "Courthouse stairwell." She clarifies with a mischievous grin. "Got it all out of my system, two times actually-"

"Ok, stop-" The brunette interrupts with a pleading voice, holding up a hand. But not without the hint of a smile on her lips.

"Hey, you asked." Amanda shrugs, clinking her glass against Olivia's.

And then follows another round of them just sitting there in silence. Amanda once again channeling the patience needed to let the other woman take this conversation wherever she needs.

"When did you know?" Olivia asks after a while. "That he was the one?"

With a long sigh, Amanda leans back a little before taking a sip of her wine. "I don't even know how to answer that." She says. "When I was in labor with Jess and he held my hand? When he helped me with her after she was born? When he passed the bar and I was suddenly terrified of losing him as a partner?"

"That early?"

"Yeah, but then…" She sighs again, a sad smile now gracing her face. "I don't know. I kept going back to thinking that it couldn't happen, you know? First I made up all these excuses about us working together, not wanting to lose him as a friend, but really it was just me thinking that he was too good for me-"

"And that you didn't deserve to be happy." The brunette adds with a knowing look.

"And that." Amanda nods. "Layers and layers of that."

"And when did that change?"

"It didn't happen over night, that's for sure." She scoffs before her expression softens. "I guess… Gradually, with your help, therapy, the girls. At some point I realized that I had to make a choice. I could either stay in that comfortable bubble, or I could woman up and not make everything so complicated."

"Do you think that's what I'm doing?" Olivia asks, finally meeting the other woman's eyes without wavering. "Making things more complicated than they have to be?"

"I think you're scared to get hurt. And that your walls are up." Amanda answers honestly. "I think you're worried that he's gonna leave again."

The brunette looks to her nearly empty glass then, her eyes slightly glossy with tears. "And what if he does?" She says, nearly whispers.

Gently, Amanda places a hand against Oliva's back, leaning in a little closer while lowering her voice. "Have you seen me handle a gun?"

The joke grants her a snort and a grateful tilt of the head from the other woman, but she's not here to make light of something she knows probably takes up more space in Olivia's head than she would ever admit to anyone. So she moves her hand away from the captain's back, only to grab the brunette's hand instead.

"Look, I'm not gonna tell you what to do here. That's not my place." She says with a small smile. "And I don't even know Stabler. But you do. And the longer you wait to find out what's going on between the two of you, the harder it'll get."

"But that's the thing…" Olivia responds, squeezing Amanda's hand before letting it go, emptying her glass before she continues. "I'm not sure if I do know him anymore. Because one moment, it feels like we're on two different planets, and the next… It's like-"

"Like nothing changed? Like he never left?"

"Yeah."

"Well-" The blonde shrugs before emptying her own glass. "You're not gonna get any wiser just thinking about it."

"Is this the part where you tell me to go book a hotel room and just fuck him?"

"Technically-" Amanda starts, holding up a finger to protest what Olivia just said, "those were my mother's words, not mine."

"That really doesn't help." The captain says dryly, making them both laugh before she signals to the bartender that she's ready to pay.

"Liv-" Amanda says when they exit the bar, turning towards Olivia and making sure that she has her full attention. "I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy."

"But?"

"But maybe it's time to step out of your comfort zone?" She continues, giving the woman in front of her an encouraging smile. "I think… I think you've been holding back, with him. I know he lost his wife and that he's been going through a lot. But so have you. And maybe it's time to rip off the band aid, and just… take it from there."

"You're probably right." Olivia mumbles, briefly looking away as a smirk appears on her lips. "I hate when you're right."

"Nah-" Amanda grins. "You love me."

She only meant to tease her, so she's a little surprised when the brunette closes the distance between them only to pull her in for a tight hug. "Never said I didn't." Olivia says, letting the hug last a few seconds before letting go, giving her a final smile as she turns to leave.

"Hey, let me know, ok?" Amanda calls out after her, making the captain look over her shoulder. "I need to know when to order the congrats on the sex cake."

"Ha-ha." Comes the flat response, accompanied by a quick wave as Olivia disappears around the corner.

…

"You know-" Amanda says, looking down at her chest where Carisi is currently busy drawing small circles against her skin. "There was a time… when I would've so easily settled for a guy like Ty. And… I can't even think about what that might've meant for the girls-"

"Hey-" The ADA starts, pausing the movement of his hands, shifting a little behind her in the bathtub.

"No, I need to say this-" She interrupts. "I need you to know."

"Ok." He nods a few times, pressing his lips to the top of her head.

"I never felt safe growing up. I was constantly on high alert, mostly trying to protect Kim. And now I've got this man-" Her voice softens as she turns to kiss him, smiling up at him before she continues. "Who loves my girls even though he doesn't have to. Seeing you with them, ever since Jesse was a newborn… You make them feel safe. And I feel safe with you. And-"

She pauses for a moment, if only to get some sense of control over her feelings, and everything she wants to tell him.

"You're not just uncle Sonny." She finally says, placing her hands over his, hands still rested on her chest. "You're so much more than that. And I'm sorry if I ever gave the impression that I don't want you to be anything else. It's just… Going from uncle to dad is a big deal, and I know it's a big deal for you too, but I'm their mom." She stops again, tilting her head to look at him once more. "I needed to trust that you wouldn't leave them. And me."

He smiles, kissing her nose, before leaning down to kiss her mouth. "Thank you for saying that." He murmurs, his voice laced with sincerity.

"Thank you for… being you." Amanda says. "And for staying." She deepens the kiss then, grateful for being able to share such an intimate and emotional moment with him, but equally ready for this night, and this entire week to end on a slightly lighter note.

"You sure do like my tits, huh?" She teases, glancing down to where his fingertips keep moving around her nipples, the bubbles in the water mostly gone now, leaving her more or less exposed in his arms.

"Like?" He asks, almost making it sound like he's genuinely offended. "No, no. It's not that I like them. I love them."

"Even though they kinda look like I've breastfed the entire Brady bunch?" She asks with furrowed eyebrows.

"Shhh." He jokes, making her laugh when he uses his large hands to gently cover both breasts. "Don't listen to her."

"Seriously though-" She starts, briefly interrupted when he goes back to teasing her nipples and her breath hitches. "What's the appeal? Surely you've been with women who had-"

"No." He shakes his head, gradually changing how he moves his hands, going from playful to sensual in the most elegant way. "Can't compare." He mumbles against her ear, making her close her eyes and moan when he puts more muscle into his touch. "Could do this for hours."

She hums in agreement, arching into his touch. "Well… Keep going, counselor."

"It's not just your tits, you know."

"Thanks." She says dryly, staring straight ahead with a deadpan expression. "So romantic."

He chuckles behind her, kissing her temple as he continues to gently knead her breasts, catching the way she's breathing a little heavier. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah." Amanda smiles. "I do."

And just like that, the banter is over; Just them and the comfortable silence that settles around them as he keeps touching her while she grows more and more impatient in his arms.

"Keep doing that." She pleads, using one hand to cover his and encourage the way he moves, the other to finally reach between her legs, knowing full well how it drives him absolutely crazy when she touches herself in front of him.

After all the teasing, the slow build up, the feeling of her naked body pressed against his, she's not really that surprised when she feels how close she already is, and she has to fight the urge to chase her release, wanting this to last just a little longer.

"Love when you do that." He mumbles, eyes fixated on her hand and the way her fingers move in steady circles, alternating between fast and slow.

She moans his name then, more than happy to be here like this, all while thinking about all the ways she wants him right now. And it's those images in her head that forces her to give up on her attempt at dragging this out, suddenly needing that release more than anything else.

"Need to come." She murmurs, whimpering when he rolls her nipples between his fingertips, making her hand still briefly between her legs before she continues.

"Come." Carisi whispers, watching as she adds more pressure to her touch, reveling in the way she breathes and the way he can feel how her body starts to tense up; Hips rocking against her hand, creating small waves in the water, making some of it spill over the edge.

With the strength of his arms, he keeps her mostly still as she works herself to a quick, but equally intense orgasm. Her thighs tremble under the water as she throws her head back against his collarbone, heavy breathes exchanged with soft moans as the climax works its way from her core to the rest of her body.

With a deep sigh, Amanda relaxes against him, granting herself a minute to recover before she turns her head, smiling tiredly when their lips meet. "I'm not done with you."

"You're not?" He says, mirroring her smile.

She shakes her head before kissing him again. "Let's go to bed."

…

It might be the euphoria of finally being brave enough to tell him that she loves him. Maybe it's the realization that hit her during the conversation with Olivia; How incredibly lucky she is to have him. Or maybe it's just the way they move together; Her in his lap, her legs wrapped around him, the feeling of him inside of her, touching all the right spots.

There might be a list of reasons actually, but it doesn't really matter because suddenly, and very much in the heat of the moment, the words tumble out of her.

"Marry me." She part mumbles, part moans against his lips.

"Wh- What?" He stutters, his movements stalling as he leans back to look at her.

"Marry me, Dominick Carisi." She says, her voice hoarse but confident, tears welling up in her eyes as a bright smile spreads across her face.

"Amanda- I was gonna ask." He responds, using one hand to caress her face. "I have the ring and everything. I had a plan-"

"I know." She nods, still smiling. Perfectly aware of the fact that there's a ring somewhere, and that he's been waiting for the perfect moment. "But… I just-"

"Yes." He interrupts, firmly pressing his lips against hers.

"Yes?" Amanda manages to choke out when the kiss ends.

"Of course I wanna marry you."

"Good-" She sighs when he starts to move again and she goes back to rocking her hips against him, quick to find their rhythm. "Because I'm not going anywhere."

"Me neither." He mumbles, kissing his way up from her collarbone until their lips meet yet again.

"But if anyone asks-" She says, groaning when he hits a particularly sensitive spot and she realizes that her second release is imminent. "This isn't how we got engaged."

"Agreed." He chuckles, changing their position when he pushes her backwards and down against the mattress.

While two tears roll down the side of her face, she smiles against his shoulder, hands roaming up and down his back before they settle on his ass where she wordlessly encourages him to go just a bit faster, just a bit harder.

"Close." She moans, doing what she can to keep it down, even though he's making it increasingly challenging to do so with the way he moves against and on top of her, especially when she notices the twitch in his muscles, letting her know that he's close too.

"Love you." Carisi breathes, burying his face in the crook of her neck as he reaches down to grab her hands, intertwining his fingers with hers while moving them above their heads.

As much as she wants to say it back, the ability to form any words at all is lost on her when she feels him come inside of her, making her gasp before a string of whimpers fills their bedroom. And then, finally, after spending some time just catching their breaths, and with his spent body on top of hers, she whispers "I love you too".

…

She's just about to succumb to a deep sleep when her phone buzzes against the bedside table, making her grunt as she reaches for it, tired eyes still closed. But the grunt quickly turns into a snort as she squints towards the screen, reading the message she just received.

"You can go ahead and order that cake now."

She laughs again as she reads the message one more time before replying with a mix of emojis.

"What?" Carisi mumbles behind her.

"Nothing." She sighs while placing the phone back on the table, closing her eyes as soon as her head hits the pillow again. "Just a text from Liv."

"She ok?" He asks, making Amanda grin into the dark room.

"Oh, I think she's just fine."

…

A/N: Hope y'all approve of this post season finale chapter :) I just want happiness for both Liv and Amanda. And I don't really care who Liv ends up with, as long as she's happy. So while I'm not exactly 100% onboard the EO ship, I'd rather have Liv face her feelings instead of the two shows dragging it out forever.