Hello there,

My name is Monty Hanssen, and I am the founder and current Chairman of the Foundation for the Protection and Enrichment of Kobolds. As you might expect, my job is to help kobolds the world over find comfortable homes and loving husbands. It's a harder task than one might expect, but far from thankless. The fact that you are reading this booklet means that either you or a friend indicated that you may be interested in making a kobold your wife. If so, I eagerly encourage you to read on!

The phrase 'dogs are a man's best friend' has always held weight. They are steadfast, devoted, loving, and loyal. It would make sense, then, that one of the most amazing species of mamono is the kobold. With soft, furry, huggable bodies, an excellent sense of smell, and a devotion that few monsters can match, the fact that more men aren't marrying these beautiful creatures leads me astounded.

Don't get me wrong: I understand that all mamono are wonderful in their own ways. I have no intention to put other races down to elevate kobolds. That being said, I'd argue that this race of dog-girls is thoroughly underappreciated. That is partly the reason why I established this foundation. So many men are snatched up by other races of mamono that kobolds, due to their submissive nature, are finding themselves increasingly left behind. The data I've seen on this has always broken my heart, and even if things seem to be getting better in recent years, the progress is too slow for my liking.

There are many wonderful things that come from dating a kobold. I should know: I married one! Almost twenty years ago, during the summer between my freshman and sophomore year of college, I took a walk through my city's park. By fate, I stumbled upon a rather sad kobold sitting under an oak tree. She had beautiful chestnut hair, stunning brown eyes, and lightly tanned skin. Well, she looked so sad and so innocent that my conscience compelled me to sit beside her. That made her happy. Turns out, she had a nervous crush on a guy all throughout high school, only to find out a Yeti asked him to prom and took his virginity that night. She had been so devastated that, even after graduating, she had never been able to bounce back to the excitable disposition her race is typically known for. That made me feel even more sorry for her. The poor girl didn't even have a friend anymore, since her sorrow had led her to grow more distant with her old peers.

Her name was Jackie, and she quickly became my world. I learned a lot about her as we sat under that tree. It became a daily ritual, and with each turn of the globe, I found her becoming more and more attached to me, happier, but also noticeably nervous. It took me longer than it should've for me to understand why. We started playing games together, discussing life, and our plans. She wasn't very forward-thinking, but her optimism regarding the world only made her more endearing.

Then, shortly before school started back, she kissed me under that tree. I had patted her on the head, something I had done only sparingly because of how excitable it made her. Passion overtook her, and her lips met mine. She quickly broke away with a sudden realization, tears in her eyes, as if she had ruined a tremendous bond. She apologized a dozen times over, fearing that she would 'let another one get away' if she didn't act.

So I kissed her back and dried her tears. We've been together ever since. Every day I wake up beside Jackie, I always think back to the day I first saw her sitting under that tree. I am truly blessed to have made the right choice there. Never have I met a soul so innocent, so affectionate, so playful, and so kind.

Perhaps I digressed a bit there, but there is a reason I told you all that. I worry that so many kobolds today could be in a situation similar to Jackie, and the thought of that breaks both of our hearts. How many good girls have lost out on a loving partner because someone else swooped in and made a move? Well, I know the answer: Thousands. This is especially tragic because lobolds do not do well on their own; they need that romantic companionship arguably more so than any other race. Eh, perhaps I'm a bit biased there, but it's not that far from the truth.

However, I know that making the commitment to marry a kobold is asking a lot of you, so that's why I wrote this guide. After interviewing a number of single and married kobolds, especially my wife, I believe I have enough information to account for almost any trouble you may face. I will be covering every topic that is important for a kobold's husband to know, so that you can be just as amazing as your future wife thinks you are. Though this guide is as comprehensive as possible, I think you'll find that it isn't hard to make a kobold happy at all.

I am not alone here, either. Who better to know what a kobold wants than a kobold, herself? Jackie is aware of this project and has graciously accepted to help me when necessary. In order to differentiate between my writing and hers, all of Jackie's notes will be written in a bolder font. It fits her excitable personality. I have edited her content for spelling and grammar, because she's not the best at it, but everything else will remain exactly as she wrote it. Below is a brief introduction from her:

Hi everyone! My name is Jackie! It's so nice to meet all of you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! It means a lot to me that so many good people want to give us good homes! My master is a great master! I promise to do good on this project, I swear! I may not be the best at explaining things, but if there's one thing I know a lot about, it's this! If even one kobold gets a better life because of my advice, then I did good! I love you all so much! Maybe not as much as I love Monty, but that would be impossible anyway! I love him even more than I love beef jerky, which I would have never thought was possible before I met him!

Oh, I'm getting off-track, aren't I? Sorry. What I mean to say is that I have good feelings about you! You're going to make someone very happy, I just know it! I'm so excited to help you out that I could scream! But. . . I don't wanna wake up the neighbors again. . .

Your friend,

Jackie!

Lastly, it is not out of the question that someone signed you up to receive a copy without your consent. You would not be the first. Some well-intentioned men and mamono may have kobold friends that they're trying to hook you up with. While I understand that this is especially overwhelming and perhaps aggravating, I urge you to at least consider the possibility that such a relationship would be incredibly fulfilling to you. There is no shame in refusing; you will never be happy in a relationship that you are forced into. However, you've come this far without tossing it in the trash, so if you're willing to keep reading, we'll do all we can to argue why a kobold girl is right for you.

Regardless, I appreciate the time you have allotted to me so far. If you're willing to move forward, the next page will discuss meeting and befriending a potential kobold partner. If this is not for you, however, I nevertheless wish you the best of luck in love, whether you have it yet or not.

Best Regards,

Monty (and Jackie!) Hanssen