So, you've managed to snag a kobold's affections to the degree that she has decided to move in with you. Now what? Well, my friend, it is prudent for you to understand what makes a kobold's daily life perfect. No matter what your life was like before, significant aspects of it are about to change. I cannot predict exactly how your new life together will unfold. After all, every kobold is going to be a little bit different. However, I still have many nuggets of wisdom to share with you. The whole point of this section is to help you acclimate to daily life with your new girlfriend, as well as care for her.
First of all, for you introverts out there, I feel for you. You probably haven't had a moment's respite since she first showed up! It must be getting a little stressful after a while. Well, don't be too afraid. Kobolds are enthralled by novelty, and being adopted by a loving, caring owner is the best kind of novelty one could ask for. Her energetic demeanor will never go away entirely, but it will be tempered once she's settled in.
In the meantime, you can gain some peace (but not necessarily quiet) by giving her something stimulating to do. And no, that's not meant to be taken in a lewd way. I hope you've picked up what some of her favorite hobbies are during the initial courting phase. Otherwise, you're gonna have to sit her down–in itself a potentially hard task–and glean as much information as you can. Kobolds love play, so much so that they find ways to turn even the most menial of tasks into adventures. My life has never been dull ever since Jackie came into it, and I say that with praise!
Yeah! And even if you find something to keep her occupied, it probably won't work for very long, not so soon after adoption. She's in love with you. Right now, you're the most interesting thing in her entire life. Of course she's gonna spend time with you!
That's true. Whether you live in the most sprawling mansion ever conceived or the humblest shack, the connection to the master is what makes a kobold's house a home. You are her knight in shining armor, her hero, the source of all that is good and righteous in the world. Her affection for you is nothing short of genuine. However, there is another reason for this behavior, at least according to contemporary research: When a kobold selects her mate, she obviously wants to demonstrate to other mamono that said husband is off-limits. She will (and probably has by the time you started reading this section) glomp you with surprise hugs, shower you with kisses, and generally do anything she can to be physically affectionate. This not only is an attempt to show gratitude in the way she knows best, but it also serves to imprint her smell onto you.
And, as you know, we are pretty dog-like! Even if you can't smell it, we can. We have to show other girls that you're ours, just as we're yours.
Obviously, another kobold will be able to sense this and realize that you're taken, but what's interesting is that this imprinting process consistently succeeds in driving away other mamono as well. Of course, only a handful of other races have olfactory senses that even approach a kobold's, but it nevertheless works. It seems that a kobold's scent contains an appropriate amount of demonic energy. I can only assume that this is the Demon Lord's way of protecting a kobold from some of the more unscrupulous single mamono out there, but that's only speculation.
One thing's for certain: Your bed is now equally her bed. It doesn't matter if you have a twin mattress, go king-sized, or anywhere in between; she'll climb up into bed right with you as though you and her had been married since birth. Expect her to get up right in your face and snuggle up closely to you. She may even position herself so that she 'presents herself' for you to rut her doggy-style.
This isn't really the time to discuss sexuality; I'll save that for a little later. Nevertheless, I bring this up because of its significance: She is essentially proposing to you. Almost all mamono view their first sexual encounter as the point where they become a wife; kobolds are no different. But I think I'm drifting towards a topic that is best saved for its own section. I'll simply say this: There is no shame in acting upon her invitation. Kobolds are excellent judges of character, and if one wants to marry you, then you've almost certainly shown yourself to be a force of genuine good in her life.
Yep! There's nothing more romantic than your master giving you a good time in his own bed, surrounded by his scent. . . I'll tell you, Monty was so noble, trying to contain himself as I cuddled him, naked as could be. . . But he couldn't resist me, not for very long.
But please, let's steer back to the present topic. Routine is bound to set in sooner or later, so while I've covered what to expect from your first few days, I also want to make sure you understand what life holds beyond that stage. Every species of mamono requires different tactics regarding daily life–what they eat, how they behave, what to expect from their temperament, things like that. Kobolds are no different. Since they tend to be a bit naive and instinctive, you'll probably have moments where you feel more like a caretaker than a husband. I think the fact that you'll never feel lonely again more than makes up for it, though.
Hey! We're not useless! I think my kind often get a bad rap due to the behavior of a few, well, stupid apples. You know how normal dogs can learn all sorts of neat tricks, right? Well, so can we! If you're willing to help train us, there's a lot of complex things a kobold can do! Heck, my sister is an executive assistant, and she does her job very well, thank you very much!
That's true. Instinct may be an especially powerful force for kobolds, but patience and a guiding hand can help overcome even that. Unfortunately, it will take some time, but she'll never stop trying if she knows you believe in her. Jackie has always been incredibly good at public speaking, for example. This is in part due to a natural and sincere gregariousness, but it is also due to routine practice. When I first proposed establishing the Foundation, Jackie immediately told me she wanted to be the best spokeswoman her people could ask for. She hasn't failed; even now, when I state one of the shortcomings her people are often stereotyped as facing, she reminds me to keep my mind open and my heart pure. That's something I truly love about her.
The point is, don't think you can't teach your old dog new tricks. You most certainly can. However, you will still very likely be the head of household and dominant force in the relationship, so I got some great tips to keep your wife madly in love with you.
They say that the easiest way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Well, if that's true (and speaking from my own experience, it is), that's doubly the case for kobolds. Your wife has a sniffer that will put almost anyone she meets to shame, and I've found that such a thing has an impact on taste, as well. If my interactions with both Jackie and other kobolds are any indication, then the race has quite an overabundance of big eaters! Paradoxically, even if their sense of taste is particularly heightened, kobolds are generally pretty indiscriminate about what they eat. You can put just about anything on a plate (so long as it's actually edible), and your wife will probably treat it like a feast fit for the Demon Lord. This is especially true if you made it, and somehow even truer if you made it specifically for her. I wasn't much of a believer in the whole 'love is a secret ingredient' statement before I met Jackie, but I have since found myself forced to admit that it must somehow account for something. I can microwave a TV dinner, and if I'm doing it for her, I still get this tremendous sense of appreciation on her end. I have every reason to believe your wife would feel honored beyond measure if you went out of your way to improve your cooking skills just for her.
I personally like meaty foods the best. Nothing beats a juicy steak, after all! But I really do appreciate anything Monty does specifically for me. It makes me feel special, you know? Just going that extra mile in order to show how much he cares means so much to me! I wish I could be half as good of a cook as he is, but, frankly, I'm dangerous with a spatula. Hehe!
Then there's the subject of hygiene. Unsurprisingly, that boundless energy, unsurpassed curiosity, and furry limbs mean that kobolds can get quite dirty in no time at all. Thankfully, this is a time where their nose works well in their favor. You might think that, since kobolds are fairly subservient and dog-like, you'll have to help them bathe. That's not actually true. A kobold tries very hard to keep herself clean, especially if she's single. Even if winning over a man isn't an issue anymore, they still obviously prefer the fragrant smells in shampoo and soap to body odor and whatever filth they inadvertently get into. Therefore, don't worry too much about holding down your wife and forcibly scrubbing her.
But I know I don't complain when Monty joins me in the shower. Having him scrub my hair and wash my back feels so good! It makes me howl with joy! And if it ends up leading to more than just a simple shower, well, that makes me really howl with joy!
Obvious sexual benefits aside, there are still plenty of good reasons to shower with your wife. That actually leads me to my final area in this subject: Intimacy. Now, I feel I need to again reiterate that I am not referring to intimacy in a carnal, lust-filled sense here, although there's plenty to say about that as well. Instead, I am approaching it from an emotional, mental, and, well, physical field.
I would say that, if you can only get one thing about your relationship with a kobold right, it should always be intimacy. Now, of course, a strong, mutual sense of intimacy is incredibly beneficial in every relationship. It doesn't really matter if you're dating a human woman, or a hellhound, or a slime, or anything else; both you and your wife want to feel that love. However, kobolds are a race that need it to a greater extent than others.
Time and time again, you've been reinforced with the idea that kobolds tend to be submissive creatures, and they are. When one chooses to mate with you, she is offering you an unwavering commitment to stand by you, to offer you all that she is. She will offer you no shortage of affection if you seek it out. It doesn't matter how low you think you are, because she sees you as worthy. Take pride in that.
And even if the world turns its back on Monty, even if everyone else says he's a bad guy, I will stand by him. I know him better than anyone else does. He's worthy of my love. He always has been!
And I want Jackie to understand that the feeling is mutual, an attitude that I hope you will adopt with your own wife. Whenever your wife hugs you close to her, hug her back. When she showers you with praise and compliments, do your best to elevate her own sense of self-worth in return. When she is down, regardless of the reason, you'll find that your mere attention and concern is a big help on its own. Being physically affectionate with your wife is the best way to make her show she's appreciated. For that reason, kobolds can come off as a little needy. She'll often run up to you, shouting about how happy she is because she learned a new skill or completed a project she thought was very difficult. On the flip side, she may trudge over to you while crying her eyes out because she just doesn't understand how to do something that is (or at least she believes should be) simple. If you're willing to stop whatever it is you're doing and share in her victories and defeats alike, you'll find yourself with one very happy kobold!
Oh, and if you're wondering, yes, she will do the same for you. Kobolds are so thoroughly devoted and loyal towards their masters that they can oftentimes correctly guess your mood via a simple glance, even if you're not the type to freely express your emotions. To me, this is a telltale sign that they're more astute than a lot of us give them credit for. Anyway, if you had a bad day at work, she'll know, going out of her way to offer you whatever she can to make your evening better. Exciting news? She'll be bouncing around with glee before you even have time to tell her! Sexually frustrated? If you're somewhere private, she'll gladly bend herself over the nearest surface and present herself to you. If not, well, she'll take you by the hand and drag you somewhere that is. No matter what's wrong, she'll do what she can to fix it. At the end of the day, isn't that one of the most important aspects of any relationship?
I've saved one tiny detail for last. You'll need to get her a collar sometime soon. Collars are to kobolds what wedding rings are to the majority of races. Yes, I know I said mamono view sex as the moment where a marriage begins, but that doesn't mean they don't have any taste for symbolism. Collars are the chief accessory of any kobold, since they are (supposedly) stylish and customizable. You can give it to her before or after your first time, and this is essentially your way of telling her that you think she's worthy of being your wife. Watch her eyes light up in awe as she realizes what you're saying. Laugh at her enthusiasm as she takes the collar and eagerly puts it on. Delicately wipe the tears of joy cascading down her cheeks as she affirms her love for you. You have committed yourself to her, and your new life together is only just beginning.
Oh, and if you haven't deflowered your wife yet, well, the next portion of the guide should come quite in handy.