75. Talk Less, Smile More

There was a surprised squeak, followed by a loud "Ouch!"

"Filius? Is that you? Where are you?" Pomona called out worriedly.

"I don't bloody know, but something is currently trying to eat me!" the Charms master cried in response.

"Oh, bugger," muttered Pomona and hurried off.

Minerva suppressed a grin until the Head of Hufflepuff House returned with a disgruntled Filius in tow. He was, however, still in one piece.

"Can someone tell me why we're meeting in the back of the greenhouses rather than in the staffroom or even better at the start-of-term feast tonight where we could have enjoyed delicious food rather than being the food ourselves?"

"No one was going to eat you. They were just having a little taste," Pomona argued.

That did not reassure Filius at all and he eyed Minerva as though wondering why she didn't have a scratch on her. It seemed mean to point out that she was too tall to be mistaken for a snack and so she said, "I always make sure to stay close to Pomona. Don't bite the hand that feeds you and all that."

"Good thinking." Filius took a quick step closer to them. "That still doesn't tell me what we're doing here."

"Poppy, Pomona and I discovered some time ago that the greenhouses can be useful for having private conversations once in a while."

"Who is it we're hiding from?"

Minerva held up a finger. "In a moment. We're still waiting for Severus. At least I asked him to come. I never know if he actually listens to me."

"I always listen," snarled Severus' quiet voice. "I simply prefer to ignore you every now and then."

He stalked towards them like a shadow in the night, his black robes billowing. None of the plants tried to touch him. Minerva bit back a retort. "Thank you for not ignoring me this time," she said simply. Bickering with Severus was something she could ill afford at the moment.

Realising the significance of her amicable behaviour, Filius' brows shot up. "This must be serious then."

"Well, it's certainly not good." Minerva sighed. "You will all meet our new 'colleague' tonight at the feast. She has taken over our Defence Against the Dark Arts Department."

"Why isn't that a good thing?" asked Pomona while Severus only glowered as he did every time he was told he had once again not been given the job. "A few days ago it sounded as though Dumbledore hadn't found anyone who wanted the job." Pomona glanced at Severus. "Uh, I mean, no one who doesn't already have a job that's just as… er… good."

Severus rolled his eyes at her but said nothing.

"Dumbledore didn't find anyone." Minerva explained to them who Umbridge was and where she had come from.

"Fudge sent us his personal secretary?" Pomona asked in disbelief.

"More like his personal spy," Severus corrected, seeing that part right away.

Minerva exchanged a quick look with him. They both knew that Umbridge and Fudge would be extremely interested in catching so much as a whiff of Order activity. To the other two Heads of House Minerva said, "You'll find out soon enough, but I wanted to warn you that Dolores Umbridge is no friend to you if you consider yourself a friend of Albus Dumbledore. You should be careful what you say or do around her because it will likely be reported to someone at the Ministry."

Pomona and Filius were both quiet for a moment. Then the latter said, "That sounds like a complete waste of time. What does she hope to find? What does she think we do here? And what's her plan once she realises that no one's going to say one bad word about Dumbledore?"

"That seems to be the question. The headmaster believes that sending Umbridge to Hogwarts to... teach," Minerva grimaced because the word did not seem to fit in this context, "was only the first step."

"The first step to what?"

It was Severus who answered when Minerva didn't. "To removing Dumbledore."

Minerva went rigid, as though a room with those words hanging in the air did no longer allow her to breathe properly. It was true. Everyone knew it. Everyone who had been following the news could tell that Fudge wanted Albus gone. By any means necessary. The mere thought should have been ridiculous. But the minister kept finding new ways to work towards that goal.

"All right," said Filius after a long, ominous pause. "Then the question is not what Umbridge is going to do, but what we are going to do to stop her."

Despite a rush of affection for her colleague and friend, Minerva remembered Albus' warning. "Nothing. For now. If we do anything out of the ordinary, it would only raise more suspicion and possibly give her exactly what she wants."

"Like four teachers meeting in a greenhouse when only one of them has a reason to be there?" Severus suggested with a small smirk of superiority and a brow raised in criticism.

Minerva glared at him in annoyance. Being the only one in a position to spy on You-Know-Who himself had made him think he was also the only one who knew how to be covert. "Umbridge is currently redecorating her office and from what I saw with my very own eyes," she emphasised, "that'll keep her busy for a while. But Argus is all over the castle, doing some last-minute cleaning before the students arrive in a few hours, and I'm not at all sure where his loyalties lie."

"Shouldn't he be loyal to the man who gave him a job when probably no one else would have?" Pomona asked.

"Except, he might honestly hate his job and he definitely hates that Albus won't let him hurt anyone to do it, not even Peeves," Minerva pointed out. "All I'm saying is that you should consider who you're talking to and about what."

"Or simply not talk to anyone at all. Most people in this castle are insufferable fools anyway," Severus said drily. With that he seemed to consider the matter closed and turned around.

Filius watched him leave. "He said 'most people.' Does that make us the exception or the rule, I wonder?" When no one answered him, he shrugged and followed Severus, probably hoping that if he stayed close enough to the Potions master, nothing would try to eat him again.

Before Minerva could walk away as well, Pomona reached for her hand and gave it a little squeeze. "Don't worry. We're all with you. Even Severus, or maybe him most of all. He never needed a reason to dislike anyone who teaches Defence Against the Dark Arts. This Umbridge woman sounds like a paper-pusher to me. Let her try to throw her weight around if she wants. Hogwarts has survived a lot worse than that."

In that moment Minerva nodded in agreement, but later that evening she wasn't so sure anymore. The Sorting Hat itself warned them that the school was in danger and then Umbridge had the audacity to stand up and interrupt Albus in the middle of his speech to give one of her own. No one had ever done that before, not for as long as Minerva could remember. No one other than the headmaster gave speeches at the start-of-term feast.

And it wasn't just any speech. It was a long list of criticism, hidden in a lot of political drivel, followed by a thinly-veiled threat. Umbridge had basically just planted a flag for the Ministry in the middle of the Great Hall.

Albus sat in his chair, looking as though he had never heard anything more interesting in all of his life, and smiled at Umbridge.

The best Minerva could manage was to stay in her seat and not move, which included all of the muscles in her face. After the feast had ended, she didn't dare to leave at the same time Albus did. She talked with Wilhelmina for a bit, whose no-nonsense manner was as refreshing as ever. The temporary Care of Magical Creatures teacher asked no questions about Hagrid and did not pledge her loyalty to anyone. She was here to do her job and she would do it well.

Eventually, Minerva returned to her office. She waited until everything was quiet in the corridors. Then she transformed into a cat and made sure that no one was around before she approached the headmaster's office. It was entirely ridiculous. If she had to go to such lengths every time she wanted to spend the night with Albus, she might just change her mind about needing to be with him.

That thought only lasted until Minerva actually stepped into his office and saw him. For one thing it reminded her that she had never been able to stay away from this man. And then there was the look on Albus' face. It told her that something worse had happened than Dolores Umbridge.

Just a minute ago Minerva had thought that to be impossible. She had been about to start ranting about Umbridge's behaviour during dinner as soon as she had closed the door behind her. Now Umbridge suddenly didn't seem to matter to her at all.

"What is it? What happened?" Minerva demanded and hurried across the room to where Albus was sitting behind his desk.

A letter was lying in front of him. It didn't look official, but it had to be the reason for the storm clouds that darkened Albus' usually clear blue eyes. "I just received word from Tiberius Ogden, who was brave enough to inform me that there will be another hearing in front of the Wizengamot this week, which the Ministry has been keeping quiet."

"Who is the accused?" Minerva barely dared to ask.

"Sturgis Podmore."

Minerva sank into a chair, most of the air whooshing out of her lungs. Somehow this was both better and so much worse than she had feared. Sturgis was a member of the Order who had been missing in action since the last time he had been on guard duty. Now they knew why. He was not dead. That was the good part. But he was in custody at the Ministry and in a position to do a lot of damage to the Order.

"What happened? What are the charges?"

"Trespassing and attempted robbery. He was arrested while trying to force his way into the Department of Mysteries."

"Why on Earth would he do that?" Everyone in the Order knew they were only supposed to guard the prophecy, not go after it. Sturgis might not be the most brilliant wizard Minerva had ever met, but he wasn't inexperienced either. He had been a member of the original Order as well.

It was why Albus looked so grim. It wasn't just about the safety of the Order. This was about a friend. "He wouldn't have done something like this, not of his own volition that is."

"You think somebody got to him," Minerva realised. "Who?"

"I hear that Lucius has been looking for excuses to be at the Ministry rather a lot these days. At the very least we know that he was talking to Cornelius after Harry's hearing. Harry saw him outside the courtrooms. They are not too far from where Sturgis was standing guard. If Lucius noticed him, he could have seized the opportunity to put him under the Imperius Curse," Albus explained.

It sounded terrifyingly plausible. "But that was weeks ago! Malfoy could have made him do any number of things!"

"He could have, yes, but Voldemort is still focused on getting his hands on the prophecy. Ironically enough, Sturgis might have been safe from attack if Voldemort possessed the otherwise dangerous knowledge that no one else can actually touch the prophecy," Albus said, heaving a sigh.

"It's not your fault," Minerva said immediately, even not knowing what Albus was thinking exactly. In his mind, everything was always his fault. "And Sturgis doesn't think so either."

It was the only explanation as to why they hadn't heard about this through official channels. Sturgis had not been talking and he wouldn't speak in his defence at his hearing either. He would not betray anyone in the Order. Most importantly, he would not betray Albus.

"So many people willing to ruin their lives in defence of me," he muttered darkly.

Minerva straightened in her chair and pierced Albus with her gaze. "To defend you is to defend us all," she said. Most members of the Order would choose to act this way if caught, she was sure of it. Nevertheless, she found herself wishing she had appreciated Sturgis more when she still had the chance.

"Will you write back?" Or in other words, would Albus try to convince his former colleagues on the Wizengamot that they ought to make a fair decision?

Albus looked at the letter and slowly shook his head. "I can't. Since Sturgis hasn't said anything, I doubt the Ministry knows what to make of this. If I were to get involved, show that I care, I would lead them right to it and I would give Cornelius a reason to take a closer look." Albus lifted his stormy eyes to meet hers. "Being close to me is even more dangerous right now than it ever was."

"Then it's a good thing that Gryffindors don't just give up in the face of adversity," Minerva replied without hesitation. "And before you say that we should change that, you better remember that 'progress for progress's sake must be discouraged,'" she quoted Umbridge sardonically.

"I see you listened closely to that fascinating speech."

"Of course I listened! And I already found one of those 'practices that ought to be prohibited.' How about disrespecting the headmaster and speaking out of turn when he's the only one who should be speaking?"

The storm in Albus' eyes cleared and he actually laughed softly. "Oh, I like that idea. Perhaps then I could get a word in edgewise the next time you're angry with me."

Minerva's lips curled up at the corners, but a real smile felt foreign to her. "Seriously, Albus, what are we going to do about all that stuff she said?"

Albus leaned back in his chair and shrugged. "The same thing we did tonight. Let her have her say, nod along politely and then agree to disagree."

That sounded simple enough. But Minerva had a feeling that Umbridge would find a way to make it more complicated.

"Minerva."

Pretending she hadn't heard, Minerva picked up the pace and tried to reach the end of the corridor before...

"Minerva!"

Some of the students in the corridor began to look, which made it impossible for Minerva to keep pretending that she was quite that deaf. Forced to stop and turn around, she plastered an expression of polite disinterest on her face. "I'm sorry. Were you talking to me?" she asked lightly.

Umbridge glared at her as though she knew exactly what Minerva had tried to do. "Of course I was talking to you." She was a little out of breath from having to run to catch up with Minerva and her long legs. "As far as I know, you're the only one in this school who's called Minerva. It's a rather strange name, isn't it?"

The polite smile on her face immediately became a lot less polite. "I don't know, Dolores, is it?"

Umbridge wisely decided to change the subject. "I was wondering if you got my note about Potter?" she asked Minerva instead.

It had never taken so much effort not to roll her eyes. "You sent him to me to deliver it in person, so yes, I got it."

"And have you acted on it?"

"You already gave him detention for every night of the week," Minerva reminded her. She had no idea what Umbridge wanted from her. She had offered Potter some Ginger Newts and some advice and had sent him on his way. Somehow she doubted that was the answer Umbridge was looking for.

"As his Head of House I was hoping you would support me in impressing upon him that his behaviour in my classroom was unacceptable," Umbridge explained impatiently.

Minerva stared at her, wondering if she was serious. She desperately wished for Albus' remarkable ability to sound reasonable and perfectly civil even when he was talking to someone who proved exceptionally irritating. "It's not my place to comment on Potter's behaviour since I wasn't present and didn't witness the incident."

"But I told you what he did! It was in the note!"

"Was it? I must have forgotten. It's been a busy first couple of days," Minerva said and tried to sound apologetic. But Umbridge could probably tell that she had been faking it during this entire conversation.

Watching the anger on the shorter woman's face was oddly satisfying. "I see," she said sharply. "Then I guess we must hope that my way of disciplining students is more effective than whatever you've been doing. It clearly hasn't taught Potter how to behave himself in a classroom."

"I'll have to take your word for that, Dolores," Minerva replied, proud of herself for not pointing out that Potter's behaviour depended entirely on whose classroom it was. "Generally speaking, teachers are expected to resolve minor conflicts with their students on their own. I understand that it can take some time to get used to that. Teaching is not for everyone. So if Potter does act out again, do let me know and I'll be happy to talk to him for you." To talk to him and to intervene on his behalf, but Minerva left that part unsaid.

Umbridge seemed to hear it anyway. While annoying and pretentious, she sadly wasn't stupid. "Thank you, Minerva, but you're right. I do need to take matters into my own hands." She strode off purposefully and Minerva feared that her best attempt at being polite to this woman had not nearly been good enough.

Her fears were well-founded, but she only discovered that on Sunday night – usually the day Minerva least expected trouble. The weekend had been rather enjoyable because Umbridge had left on some kind of Ministry business. In her absence the castle had immediately felt more like home again. Except for the fact that Albus had speculated right away that Umbridge would only go to London in person if she and Fudge were planning something else.

At least it had nothing to do with poor Sturgis Podmore. He had been sentenced to six months in Azkaban. It could have been a lot worse if anyone at the Ministry had learned that he was working for a secret organisation headed by Albus Dumbledore.

Umbridge returned to Hogwarts in the middle of dinner. She made a beeline for Albus' chair at the High Table and informed him that she had an important matter to discuss as soon as she had finished unpacking from her trip. With a glance at Minerva, she added that she should be present as well. She didn't say whether that was because she was deputy headmistress or because she had something to do with the matter at hand. Either way, Minerva promptly lost her appetite.

"What are the chances she wants to let us know that she decided to quit after all?" Minerva joked half-heartedly as they left the Great Hall and made their way to Albus' office.

"I'd say that's about as likely as you asking for time off to attend a symposium on crystal gazing," he replied in a similar manner.

Despite the tension she was feeling, Minerva snorted. "That's a price I'd be willing to pay."

Actually, she would do a lot more to get out of the situation they were in, even without knowing what it was yet. The look on Umbridge's face when she walked into Albus' office told Minerva more than enough and so did the scroll of parchment in her hand. It looked official. Minerva wanted to rip it to shreds before anyone could read the bloody thing.

"I won't intrude on your evening for too long. But the minister and I both feel that it's important that we act immediately," Umbridge began.

When she said 'the minister and I,' her voice sounded almost affectionate. Minerva had noticed that before and she wondered if Umbridge was in love with the man himself or simply with the power of the office he held. She suspected it was the latter, but the two of them would certainly make a perfect couple – perfect, that was, to bring out the worst in each other.

"Don't worry, Dolores. A man like me doesn't really have such a thing as free time," Albus replied and Minerva was forced to agree. She could barely even remember the last time they had been together simply for the purpose of enjoying each other's company for more than a few hours here and there. "So I'm all ears."

"Then you'll be glad to hear that the Ministry has just passed Educational Decree Number Twenty-three, which will help to ease your workload," said Umbridge and confirmed Minerva's suspicions regarding the scroll in her hand.

"That is very kind of you but wholly unnecessary as I generally enjoy my work." If Albus was worried about what exactly this latest decree entailed, he didn't show it.

Umbridge smiled, but if there was anything even remotely close to real joy in that smile, it was the destructive kind. "Perhaps you've been enjoying it a little too much. That would explain your laissez-faire attitude when it comes to overseeing your staff. It has only taken me a week here at Hogwarts to observe an alarming drop in the teaching standard at this once so prestigious school."

"Excuse me?" Minerva snapped because she couldn't help herself. She had expected Umbridge to come after Albus directly. She hadn't been prepared for Umbridge to come after her and her fellow teachers first.

Umbridge didn't seem to mind the interruption. On the contrary, she clearly relished Minerva's outrage. "Yes, I believe it was you, Minerva, who told me that teaching isn't for everyone. It so happens that the minister and I wholeheartedly agree with that and so with today's passing of Educational Decree Number Twenty-three we have created the position of Hogwarts High Inquisitor, which I have graciously accepted."

There was nothing gracious or acceptable about it. Minerva knew that she was horribly biased, but even someone who wasn't either working for Cornelius Fudge or Albus Dumbledore had to see that Fudge was trying – and succeeding – to put Hogwarts under direct control of the Minister for Magic's office.

"Congratulations on your new position," Albus said. Somehow he made it sound sincere. He was as unflappable as always and Minerva would never ever understand how he did that. "May I ask what exactly the purpose of this High Inquisitor shall be?"

His seemingly honest curiosity surprised Umbridge, too, but she readily explained, "I will inspect my fellow teachers and the way they conduct their classes and will determine if they can be allowed to continue teaching at Hogwarts or if a period of probation and, should there be no improvements, a termination of their employment is required."

Don't say it. Don't say anything. Just keep your mouth shut. Minerva repeated these words like a mantra in her head so the anger underneath wouldn't simply explode out of her. It didn't help that Albus eyed her worriedly.

"So you see," Umbridge continued, "you will no longer have to deal with that unpleasant part of your position as headmaster, starting tomorrow morning."

"Actually, it sounds to me as though unpleasantness is exactly what I'll have to deal with," Albus replied and he finally allowed some of his disapproval to shine through. "Then again, you and I have very different opinions about the competency and excellence of the Hogwarts staff. Feel free to inspect them if that is what you think you must do, but I can promise you that all of my teachers are completely dedicated to this school, its students and the subject they teach."

"Unfortunately, dedication isn't the same as aptitude," Umbridge argued.

"No, it's what turns someone who is capable of standing in front of a classroom into someone who will actually succeed at getting the students to learn something," Albus countered calmly.

Realising that she couldn't win in a reasonable argument with Albus, Umbridge thrust the scroll of parchment at him that gave her these new powers. "If that's true, then neither you nor any of your teachers have anything to fear," she said sweetly. "Sadly, I highly doubt that will be the case."

Minerva waited just long enough for Umbridge to have left the room. "If you let me go after her, no one ever needs to hear about this High Inquisitor nonsense ever again," she burst out between clenched teeth.

"That sounds like a spectacularly bad idea, considering she now has the power to dismiss you."

"I'm not scared of Dolores Umbridge," Minerva hissed. "I can bloody well take her."

"Without a doubt. But unless you intend to finish her off, she would return with the might of the Ministry, and as things stand..." Albus opened the scroll of parchment and read it over quickly, "...I won't be able to protect you."

Before she could respond to this, Albus went on, "I know you don't want me to protect you, but as you are the best part of me, I have very little choice." He let go of the scroll and his composure, revealing the anguish underneath. "They've taken nearly all they could from me and none of it matters. They can have it all. But they can't have you."

He held out his hand to her. Minerva wanted to ignore it and tell him that he couldn't get away with being overprotective again simply by saying something ridiculously romantic. But as it turned out, he really could. Especially when he looked at her with such raw concern for not only her but every other teacher at Hogwarts.

She took his hand. "Fudge and Umbridge might be busy rewriting the law as they see fit, but they still need a legitimate reason to sack someone. They have to be able to prove that the person in question is unfit to be a teacher. I seriously hope you don't think they'll find such a reason to get rid of me."

"Not as long as you keep your temper in check, which is exactly what you told Harry he should do around Umbridge if I'm not mistaken?" Albus pressed a kiss to her skin. "Excellent advice, I might add."

"I know and it's what I did," Minerva insisted. "When I told Umbridge that teaching isn't for everyone, that was me being nice to her."

Albus quirked a brow. "Well, you know how the old saying goes. If you don't have anything nice to say..."

Minerva perched on the edge of his desk and folded her arms. "You haven't exactly been keeping quiet either. What if Educational Decree Number Twenty-four declares that the minister can remove any headmaster who says something he doesn't like?"

"Then it'll be all the more important for you to still be here. Because I know you care about this school with every fibre of your being and as long as you're here, I don't have to worry about Hogwarts. I can't even begin to tell you what that means to me."

He smiled at her softly. It was the kind of loving smile that always wormed its way past her defences and made it impossible for Minerva to be upset with him. She hated it when he talked like this. When he insisted that he couldn't lose her but that she should be fine to go on without him. Minerva wasn't at all convinced that she was as strong as he thought her to be.

She supposed that meant she really had to make an effort with Umbridge so they wouldn't have to find out.

That symposium on crystal gazing suddenly sounded awfully good in comparison.

A/N: If the chapter title seems familiar to you, that's because I totally stole it from a certain broadway musical sensation. I simply couldn't resist. :D