They arrived just before the Unspeakables much to Albus' surprise. It was clear the man had not been expecting them. Good maybe if they kept him off balance he'd have less time to scheme.
"Severus, Minerva! As you can see the unspeakables are just arriving so I'm sure whatever it is can wait until later."
Minerva shot the Headmaster a glare that would have had a cleverer man backing down immediately.
"We are here because of the unspeakables, Albus. Do carry on," she replied leaving no room for argument as she sat down. He swore he heard one of the Unspeakables chuckle beneath their hood.
They removed their cloaks with a dramatic flourish. "I am Unspeakable Bole." the taller of the two introduced himself, "And this is Unspeakable Smythe. We understand you have a reptile problem?"
Minerva snorted, "That's one way of putting it, Gentlemen. What has the Headmaster told you?"
"He mentioned the possibility of a basilisk, although he was unclear as to where it was. Obviously, we'd be glad to assist before anyone gets petrified or worse. Although we must admit to being curious as to how you came to the conclusion there was a rare and deadly snake in the school."
Minerva spluttered, Severus noted that Albus had the grace to look abashed.
"Several petrified students in the Hospital wing rather gave us a clue," he said drily.
"Students have been petrified?" the Unspeakable asked, horrified.
"Yes. Several."
"Headmaster, you failed to mention that! It means the beast has a means of travelling the school! It's important as I imagine that no one has seen a giant serpent slithering along the hallways, which means it has another way of getting around. You cannot keep things like this from us if you wish us to actually do our jobs!"
Severus shared a smirk with Minerva, both enjoying the Headmaster being scolded by someone else for a change.
"Ah well, yes, of course, Gentlemen. I had intended to have this discussion when you got here. You never know who may be listening after all."
"In a private conversation with our boss in a warded room within the Department of Mysteries, Headmaster?" Unspeakable Bole asked drily.
Albus fidgeted, "Yes, perhaps over-cautiousness on my part. Still, you know now."
The Unspeakables shared a look, clearly having some sort of silent conversation which ended abruptly.
"Right, what actually has been happening and where were the students found?"
Between the three of them, they filled in the Unspeakables on the goings on of the year. At the end, they turned to gape at the Headmaster.
"Have you any idea how lucky you've been that no one was murdered? Why did it take you so long to get in touch with us!"
"Ah well, I rather forgot you had a creature department until Minerva reminded me," he replied with an airy wave of his hand that appeared to stun the unspeakables speechless.
"We will be discussing this further, Headmaster." Unspeakable Smythe finally said. "However, for just now, I must ask that you ensure all of the students are in their common rooms and all of the teachers are either in the staff room or their private quarters. No one can be out in the corridors."
Albus nodded before sending off a Patronus to summon the two other Heads of House. All four of them leaving to check on their respective charges before he sent off several more to the remaining teachers, relaying what the Unspeakables had said.
Severus turned briefly to Minerva before she left. "Warn my daughter and Mr Potter that if they break this particular rule I shall have them scrubbing toilets every night until they graduate."
She smothered a laugh, "Of course, Severus."
"All good?" Unspeakable Bole asked once they had all returned, at their confirmation he and Unspeakable Bole snapped on some funny looking goggles. "Then we'll get started."
The Unspeakables left to do their jobs after confirming that the Ghosts were doing the rounds. Severus contemplated asking to join them but decided against it. If it was a basilisk, it was probably best not to be in its general vicinity. That unfortunately meant he was stuck in the Headmasters office with the Headmaster. He was grateful that the other Heads of House were also there as a buffer but slightly regretful that yet again he hadn't thought to bring the scotch.
He debated with himself for a moment before he cleared his throat. Better to do this one with witnesses.
"While we are all here, I wanted to discuss Harry Potter."
Minerva turned to frown at him in confusion. Albus looked wary.
"Again Severus?" he commented mildly, "I imagine we are all aware of your dislike of the boy, however unwarranted."
"He sticks his nose in places it does not belong." he bit back, "however, that was not what I wanted to discuss."
"Oh? Spit it out then Severus!"
He glared at Minerva who smirked back at him. Bloody woman. Why was it so hard to get respect recently?
"I do not know if you are aware," he began, addressing Filius and Pomona, "that it was revealed at the beginning of the year that Hermione Granger is my daughter."
Given their wide-eyed stares and gaping mouths, no they were not aware. Bugger. He had assumed Albus had informed the staff.
"I've been getting to know her, and we intend to file the paperwork that will make me her magical guardian over the summer. During the course of getting to know her, she has mentioned Mr Potter's home life several times." he turned to fix his gaze on Albus noting that his face was carefully blank. "Are you aware the muggles abuse the boy Albus? Starve him? Lock him in a room?"
Minerva's eyes went wide. "Are you serious, Severus?"
"Messers Weasley broke him out of his bedroom this summer, he had a cat flap for food and bars on the window. Yes, Minerva, I am serious."
"Did you know auld man?" she bit out, turning to face Albus in her fury.
"I was not aware of the particulars," he said finally.
"So you, what, Albus? Dropped the laddie off on the doorstep and didna bother yer arse to check on him again?"
"I...of course not, Minerva, I have had people check-in. He's Harry Potter."
"So you were aware the boy slept under the stairs in a cupboard until his Hogwarts letter came?" Severus asked.
"I...well. The blood wards on the house mean he has to consider it home."
"Hame! Hame! That doesna sound like a hame, Albus! It sounds like a bloody nightmare!"
Severus hid a grin. He loved when Minerva's Scot came out, it was very rare for her diction to slip. He noted that Filius and Pomona were also looking furious. Apparently, today might end up being a good day after all.
"How long does he need to stay?" he asked before Minerva really did murder the man. He couldn't let her, however tempting. He'd have to buy his own scotch.
Albus sighed at him. "Really, Severus. There is not a defined time."
He raised an eyebrow. Did the man think he was an idiot?
"How long?"
Albus sighed, glancing around the furious occupants of the room. "Two weeks."
"Fine. I will go and discuss it with Petunia at the end of the holidays. He will stay with either the Weasley's or Merlin help us all, me, if I can persuade Hermione to stay for a while."
"You, Severus?" Filius queried, with clear astonishment on his face.
He pinched the bridge of his nose before he turned to his colleague.
"My daughter is fond of the boy. Merlin knows why."
Filius spluttered at him, his mouth opening and closing without any sound coming out. Pomona looked thoughtful.
"I think I like this new you, Severus." she voiced, looking at him somewhat fondly.
What fresh hell was this? No. That wasn't ok.
"There is no new me," he responded curtly.
He didn't appreciate both Minerva and Pomona laughing at him.
Albus cut through their mirth, the grandfatherly mask back on his face. "I'm afraid I simply cannot allow it, Severus. How would it look to have Voldemort's Death Eater involved with the boy who defeated him?"
He raised an eyebrow at the man. "I assume it would look like a father attempting to please his only child. It's not exactly a secret that they're friends."
He heard Minvera choke on a laugh. "Aye, two minutes in their company and Voldemort himself will know that the lass has him wrapped around her little finger."
Well, that was an exaggeration. He wasn't that bad. Was he? No. Of course, he wasn't. He was just trying to get to know her. He didn't have a hard time saying no. It was normal to have your child's friends around your house, even if you hated them and his quarters were essentially his house during the school year. It wasn't that he couldn't bear to see her cry or worse, look disappointed in him.
"I'm not that bad," he said to Minerva. It came out more petulantly than he'd been aiming for. Fuck. Now Filius and Pomona were laughing at him. Why was everyone finding him so damn funny lately? He didn't like it.
"That's adorable Severus. You needed someone to soften you up."
Pomona was cooing at him. Actually cooing like he was a fucking toddler who had done something cute. No. That wasn't ok. What the fuck was happening? He wasn't supposed to be cooed at. He was Severus Snape. Spy and all round bastard. What was that girl of his doing to his reputation?
Minerva was laughing properly now. Bloody traitor.
"Don't pout, Severus. You deserve to be happy. I'll accompany you to visit Mr Potter's relatives and I'll speak to Molly. You know they'll take him, Molly loves someone to fuss over. Now, have you heard back from Elladora?"
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Albus looking mutinous about being excluded and ignored.
"She wrote to Lucius, requesting to meet Hermione over the summer, however, she doesn't seem to be in any rush. I haven't mentioned it to Hermione yet."
Minerva nodded, looking thoughtful "I see, I'm surprised that the woman isn't pushing to meet her sooner."
"As am I," he said softly. He had a bad feeling about his daughter meeting her mother and he wasn't sure why. She had to be given the choice though.
"Elladora Fawley?" Filius squawked beside him.
"Yes, Filius. Elladora Fawley is Hermione's mother."
"Good Godric. She was a smart one, Miss Fawley, between you and her it's no wonder Miss Granger is as intelligent as she is. She is still Miss Granger, isn't she?"
He felt his heart stop. He hadn't considered that his daughter had the option to change her name. Fuck. And now he was, he realised how badly he wanted her to. It was selfish. So fucking selfish. She had parents. Parents who loved her. Who had raised her for the first thirteen years of her life. But fuck it all, he wanted her to have his name. That tangible connection to his child. He forced his mind to stop considering it before he spiralled.
"Of course, she is still Miss Granger." He didn't miss Minerva's shrewd look. The bloody woman always did see more than she should.
They were interrupted by the return of the two Unspeakables.
"Right, we located the basilisk. Let loose some roosters and all's now good. I imagine your resident Potions master would like some of the parts?" Unspeakable Smythe asked.
"Yes." Gods, basilisk parts! The things he could do with those!
"Wonderful. The Chamber of Secrets is a real place, you'll need a parseltongue to open it via the tap with the snake on it in Myrtle's bathroom. We'll send a team to go through it in the summer holidays in case there's more there. Merlin knows what Slytherin thought was acceptable to hide in a school. Now, there was one small problem."
He noticed Albus sit straighter. "Go on, Gentlemen."
"It would seem as if Professor Lockheart didn't get the stay in your rooms memo and he might be a tiny bit dead."
Fuck. This was better than fucking Christmas! That floppy-haired buffoon was dead. Oh, Minerva had better be getting out the good scotch tonight.
He schooled his face into an appropriate expression before he grinned. He noticed that none of his colleagues looked hugely saddened by the news.
"Oh, well. That is a shame, Unspeakable Smythe." Minerva said briskly when it became clear no one else was going to speak. "I'm sure the Headmaster will inform the family"
"I….of course." Albus looked slightly lost. "How, exactly, did that come about?"
Unspeakable Smythe snorted. "He appeared behind us and informed us that you could have saved us a trip if you'd just asked him. Told us he knew exactly how to deal with a basilisk and then he looked the bloody thing straight in the eye."
Severus held in a laugh, he noticed Minerva doing the same. A man was dead, it wasn't funny. Not really. But fuck it, it really was. The man was an utter imbecile and had clearly paid the price of his own stupidity.
"Ah." the headmaster said faintly. "That's most unfortunate."
The Unspeakables put their cloaks back on, pulling up the hoods. "Isn't it just. Well, we'll leave you to it. We've removed the eyes so you can look at the basilisk directly. If you decide to sell the parts, the Department of Mysteries takes a twenty five percent cut. Don't try to hide it, we'll know. We left the basilisk in the out of order girl's bathroom on the second floor. You might want to at least remove the fangs before you let the students out again. Nasty thing, basilisk venom. Don't worry about the paperwork for Lockheart, we'll sort it. We've portkeyed his body to the ministry, send his next of kin there. Our boss will want to verify our claims. And Headmaster, we still intend to have that chat."
With that, they disappeared into the floo leaving a slightly stunned silence in their wake.
"Well," Filius said into the silence. "That was certainly unexpected."
He couldn't help it. He laughed. He vaguely noticed his colleagues looking at him in shock before Minvera joined him, Pomona and Filius giving in shortly after. Albus looked horrified, which only made him laugh harder.
It took him longer than he cared to admit to to calm down. After they had all regained his composure, he called for an elf, asking it to move the basilisk body to an empty classroom near his own. He roped his fellow heads of House into helping him put the beast into stasis and warding the room so he could deal with it when he was ready. Then, he sent an elf to fetch Miss Weasley.
"You wanted to see me, Sir?" she asked when the elf popped her into his office. He scanned her quickly, she looked pale and nervous.
"Sit down Miss Weasley. How are you feeling?"
"Feeling, Sir?" she squeaked, looking completely confused.
"We know about the diary, Miss Weasley."
She looked utterly panicked now. "I….I don't know what you mean!"
He sighed. He wasn't good at this, this is why he left it to the prefects. He called for another elf, requesting his daughter. She could do the comfort thing and he could ask questions. That would work.
She arrived seconds later, looking around the room in confusion.
"I thought Miss Weasley could do with some….emotional support."
Her eyes widened but she nodded, taking a seat next to the girl and wrapping an arm around her shoulder.
"As I was saying, we know about the dairy. You are not in trouble Miss Weasley, I just need to know how you are. Would you allow me to cast some diagnostics?"
The girl looked briefly at Hermione who nodded, with a small, encouraging smile. The fight seemed to drain out of her.
"Alright, Sir."
"Hermione, I need you to let her go for a moment."
Ginny Weasley looked utterly stunned for a moment at his use of Hermione's first name. He raised his wand, casting quickly. There was no residual dark magic. Thank the gods. The girl was in reasonable health if a little stressed and in need of a good night's sleep.
"Alright Miss Weasley, I'm done. Now, tell me how you are."
His daughter moved to wrap an arm around the girl again, "It's alright Ginny," he heard her murmur, "You can trust him. Just tell him the truth."
"I keep losing time!" the girl blurted. "I had red paint on my hands and feathers on my robes and I don't know how they got there. I think I'm the one who has been hurting people!"
"It's alright Miss Weasley. We have found what has been hurting the students, it was a basilisk, not you."
"It….it wasn't me? Then am I going mad? Sane people don't lose time!"
"You are not going mad, Miss Weasley. The dairy you had once belonged to Lord Voldemort. It is full of….dark magic and is the reason you've been losing time."
"D...dark magic?" the girl stuttered, face paler than it had been, "It belonged to You-know-who?"
"Yes. I would like you to see a mind healer, Miss Weasley just so we can be sure that everything is alright. There is no lingering dark magic on your diagnostics so I do not foresee an issue, however, you may wish to speak to someone."
The girl looked at him thoughtfully before nodding. "Yes, Sir. I think I would."
He nodded, "Excuse me, then. I will get better results if I put my request in in person. I shall be back momentarily."
He heard Ginny ask Hermione why he was being so nice as he stepped into the floo.
He returned a quarter of an hour later to an empty office. Damn, where the bloody hell were they?
The floo behind him activated and a statuesque woman with wild dark curls stepped out. She raised an eyebrow at him.
"Where is this girl, Severus?"
He sighed, "I have no idea. I left her here."
Where the bloody hell would they have gone? Struck by a sudden flash of inspiration he headed for the hidden door at the front of the room, Andromeda Tonks following him. Opening the door, he found both his daughter and Miss Weasley on his sofa.
"The chairs in your office are uncomfortable," Hermione explained with a shrug before he could open his mouth.
He saw Andromeda looking at him incredulously and winced.
"May I introduce my daughter, Hermione." He said finally. He'd deliberately missed that out of his explanation as to why he needed her help.
"Your daughter?" she said faintly, looking like the words didn't make sense.
"Yes, my daughter. I assume you already told Miss Weasley, given that she is in my private rooms?"
Hermione smiled slightly sheepishly at him. "Yes. We weren't sure how long you were going to be and while I'm sure you'll deny it, we both know you make those chairs in your office deliberately uncomfortable so students won't stay and bother you. No chair is naturally that hard."
"Oh I think I like her, Severus." he heard Andromeda laugh from behind him. "She'll keep you on your toes and Merlin knows we've all waited years for you to find someone who does. We had hoped it would be a woman but this, this might just be better."
She sounded gleeful. Andromeda Tonks nee Black. Gleeful. It wasn't right.
"You know my father well?" Hermione asked curiously.
"We became acquainted during the war." Andromeda replied with a smile, "I'm rather friendly with Professor McGonagall and she is fond of him. We cross paths regularly and while he'll never admit it, we're friends."
He scoffed, loudly. "Don't be absurd, Andromeda."
She sent a wicked grin his way. "Has he told you about the time Minerva got him so drunk at the staff Christmas party that she convinced him to join the karaoke?"
The girl's eyes were wide and Hermione had a grin he didn't like on her face. Fuck this was an awful idea. Why did he think bringing Andy in was wise?
"That is quite enough!"
"Oh come on Father! This is fun! Tell me more….I'm sorry I have no idea what your name is?"
"Andromeda, Andromeda Tonks."
She frowned slightly. "Aunt Cissa's sister?"
Andromeda stilled. "You know Narcissa?"
Hermione nodded warily. "Yes. My biological mother is Uncle Lucius' cousin."
"Uncle Lucius? Which cousin?"
"Ah...yes." Hermione shot him a worried look, "I...they asked me to call them that. And Elladora Fawley. I've never met her but Uncle Lucius says she was his favourite cousin."
"So she was," Andromeda murmured thoughtfully before looking at Hermione curiously. "Forgive my curiosity, but why is it you've never met her?"
Hermione shrugged, looking uncomfortable. He moved to sit beside her, wrapping an arm around her and making Andromeda's eyes widen in surprise. "She had Aunt Cissa drop me at a muggle hospital. I've always known I was adopted but I had no idea who my biological parents were until we were brewing the heritage potion in class this year."
"Oh my," she whispered softly before turning her sharp gaze on Severus. "Did you know?" she demanded.
"No. No, I did not. She decided not to tell me."
"Oh, Severus." There was an uncomfortable silence before Andromeda spoke again.
"Well, now you both know, I do hope you'll visit. My daughter Nymphadora would love to meet you and I do have rather a lot of stories about your father. We're related too, you know. All old Pureblooded families are, of course. Ella was a second cousin on my mother's side."
Hermione's eyes went wide. "Really? Did you know her well?"
"Well enough," Andromeda replied sharply before she softened her voice. "Apologies. Ella never understood why I did what I did. And she was vocal in her condemnation. I always found it hypocritical given that she wanted to be trapped into a contract about as much as I did. You are aware of what happened?"
Hermione nodded. "Aunt Cissa misses you," she said softly. "She told me when she was helping me fix my hair, she said it reminded her of yours as well as my mothers."
Andromeda looked at her thoughtfully. "I miss her too."
"Would you….would you see her again? She wasn't sure."
"I think I'd need to think about it. I'm well aware of what they think of my choices."
"Uncle Lucius agreed to meet my muggle parents this summer."
Andromeda's eyes flew to Severus.
"He did indeed," he confirmed.
"Well, that's unexpected. Now, promise me you'll visit, family is no longer something I have much of and I'd very much like to get to know you better."
Hermione glanced at her father briefly before she nodded. "I think I'd like that." She replied softly.
"Good. Now, Miss Weasley, are you alright if I perform an examination and then we'll have a chat? Do you wish Professor Snape and Hermione to leave?"
Ginny shook her head, reaching for Hermione's hand.
"Alright then Miss Weasley, the examination won't take long."
Ginny nodded uncertainly watching as Andromeda lifted her wand, her hand gripping Hermione's tighter. It was several minutes before Andromeda dropped her wand again.
"So there is no physical damage. However, there are clear memory gaps and I imagine that losing time is unsettling so if you would like I can arrange an appointment weekly until you feel like you don't need it anymore?"
Ginny nodded hesitantly, "How many appointments will I need? And do we need to tell my parents?"
Andromeda smiled at her kindly, "That will be up to you, it can be anything from one or two to every week for the next year. It will depend on how you feel. And we have to tell them something. However we do not have to tell them everything if you do not want to, I would recommend it though, they may be able to help."
Ginny shook her head. "Dad always told us not to trust something that seemed intelligent if you can't see where it keeps its brain. And I forgot. They'll be so disappointed. Can we just not tell them for just now?"
Andromeda sighed, "Legally, as you are of Hogwarts age, you are entitled to patient confidentiality, however, I do think you should reconsider. What do you plan to tell them?"
Ginny shrugged, "Maybe I'm visiting Hermione."
Severus rolled his eyes. "At the same time every week?"
"Maybe different times but encompassing the time of the appointment?"
"Miss Weasley! This is preposterous and you know it. You are going to have to tell your parents you are meeting a mind healer!"
"Or….I struggled with potions this year and Hermione is helping me. I'll have to tell them you're her dad obviously. Please, Sir, I don't want to tell them. Dad will be disappointed and mum will be angry and not let me out of her sight."
"It's the best we've got, Severus," Andromeda spoke beside him.
"I don't like it." he sighed before turning to Hermione, "Even think of ever keeping something like this from me and you'll be grounded until you are thirty."
Hermione's eyes went wide, "How did this become my fault?"
"You have a habit of taking on things you have no business being involved in and of not trusting the adults in this school. I am merely pointing out that should that happen again or should you need help and you feel the need to go to these levels to hide it from me I shall be most displeased."
She rolled her eyes at him and sighed. "Yes, Father."
"Do you think my parents will feel the same?" Ginny asked quietly beside them.
He sighed, this wasn't part of his job description.
"Miss Weasley, I have been a parent less than a year and I can honestly tell you that I would be devastated if Hermione was going to these lengths to keep something like this from me. I cannot promise that your parents won't be disappointed or angry but I can guarantee that they would rather know so they can help."
And now Andromeda looking at him approvingly, for fucks sake, he was never going to hear the end of this, was he?
"Oh. Will you be there when I tell them, Sir?"
What? No. This definitely wasn't in his job description. He was the bat of the dungeons for fucks sake, the little sods were not meant to like him. They were meant to stay the hell away. He didn't like children.
He sighed as Hermione elbowed him in the ribs. Fucking bloody hell.
"Yes Miss Weasley, if you wish me to be there, I will be."
He was going to have to tell Minerva, wasn't he? Fuck. He hoped she didn't withhold the scotch.