Chapter 69

Raven was staring at the ceiling above the gurney she was laying on in Sam's office. She could feel her leg twitching in nervous habit. She didn't like sitting still and she'd been there for awhile. She knew that Sam and Meeka were trying to help and she understood that they were Palla's friends, but that didn't help her impatience at waiting. She was sure that if Abby was there, she'd say something to Raven, and that was why she was staying quiet.

Sam had been watching her. She could tell that Raven was very antsy about what could be done for her and her leg. Raven wanted a cure, but she wasn't holding her breath. She wanted to walk. Sam had reviewed Abby's charts and Clarke's. They had done everything that they could with what they had. Raven's improvements were miraculous. Sam wouldn't deny that, but she wanted to give her more.

"You okay over there, Sparky?" Sam asked her.

Raven stopped moving and turned to look at Sam. She could see the mirth in Sam's eyes and couldn't help but smile. Not many people called Raven anything other than Raven and got away with it. And, no one really called her "little bird" any more unless it had to do with something that she'd blown up and never to her face.

"Sparky?"

"It sounded good."

"Boomer would have been more appropriate," Raven countered with a laugh.

"Probably, but it doesn't fit you. Sparky does. Your prickly and a live wire. I can see why Palla likes you and why she is willing to see what I can do for you. I have to admit that Clarke already started doing what I would besides surgery. I don't want to open you until I have to. I know that you didn't have a lot of equipment and worked with what you had back on Earth and within the confines of the Ark, but we've got better facilities here. Plus, I'm the best, so, let's see what we can do for you," Sam told her.

"So, what do you suggest then, Doc?"

"I want to try something different, first. It isn't that I don't believe you, I do, but I want to try to do something about your pain. I want to give you a nerve block."

"A nerve block?"

"Yeah," Sam told her.

"Why?" Raven asked her.

"It is to see if your nerves are actually experiencing pain or ..."

"If it's in my head?"

"I have no doubt that you are getting better miraculously. A nerve block will tell me where you can and can't feel. If you feel something, like pain somewhere that you shouldn't after I give you the block, it'll tell me that it's in your head. If you can't feel it, then it means that either the nerves are dead or the block worked."

"So, what your telling me is to not feel anything," Raven told her.

"I know that you would see it that way. That is why, just like Clarke's test, I'm going to do it with you lying down and blindfolded. Well, okay, not completely blindfolded, but I'm going to cover your eyes and not tell you when and where I'm going to start. I'm going to do the test twice," Sam explained.

"With and without the block?"

"Yeah."

"I'm an engineer. I get it. We have to keep testing in order random as well that way I can't memorize the series."

"That is true," Sam replied. "Depending on the first set of tests, we'll do more as we progress. But, everything is going to depend on this first test. I know that Clarke and Abby have done this. I know that you are able to stand and take a few steps, but I also know that you have been pushing yourself too hard. We need to make sure that you aren't going to hurt yourself."

"That is what Echo is for. She keeps me strong but lets me break. She pushes me, but she doesn't let me break completely. She's been by my side since Clarke let her take me on as a second. She should be here, especially if you are going to do surgery," Raven told her.

"Then we will do tests and call for Echo to come."

"She won't come willingly."

"Why not?"

"She is Clarke's guard. Octavia is Palla's. Leaving Clarke and Madi without the two best guards, Echo won't do it. She won't like it. I don't think she'll come."

"She'll come," Sam stated.

"How can you be so sure?"

"The Snows will start soon. She will come just have something new to do. I doubt that she wouldn't want to be stuck in the barracks. Plus, I think that we might be able to convince Clarke to come up as well," Sam started.

"And, how are you going to get her away? Especially if she has to leave Madi behind? She won't just come willingly. You don't know her," Raven stated.

"That is where you come in, my dear," Sam replied.

"I'm sorry, what?" Raven asked.

"You are just going to have to find a way to convince them to come to the Village."

"I don't think that is going to happen."

"Well, then you need to find a way to stay. I want to help you and I think I can, but it is going to take time. And, during the Snows would be perfect. I can speak with Palla, but I believe that you will have to get permission from your leaders, Madi and Clarke."

"More like I need it from Echo first," Raven stated and lay back down.

Sam watched her, carefully with her dark brown eyes. She was waiting on Meeka. They needed to fashion a new brace for her and she wanted to see how Raven moved in it. The reports from the tests were promising, but there was more work that needed to be done.

"Do you want to walk unaided?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to run?"

"Yes!" Raven exclaimed.

"Then find a way for you to stay during the Snows. Even, if Madi, Clarke and the rest don't. You need to be here so I can work with you."

"I'll do it," Raven answered.

She knew that it was going to be a long hard road and she knew that Clarke wasn't going to fight her too much on it. Echo might, but that was because Echo had become protective of her. She knew that Clarke would require her to check in and Abby would want Sam to send her updated reports and medical charts. Octavia would probably still be there as well since she was to guard Palla.

"Let me talk to Clarke and Echo. Can I let you know later?"

"Yes, but Meeka will be here soon."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I want her to make you a new brace."

"A new brace?"

"No offense to the one you have, but it won't work with your condition anymore. It was there to stabilize and help you move, but it restricts your movement. With the latest developments in your spontaneous nerve regeneration, I want to force to use it more," Sam told her.

Raven just looked at her. She knew that there was more that Sam wasn't telling her, but she decided to wait to see what Meeka had to say. Sam knew that she was waiting and she knew that Raven was skeptical. How could she not be?

"I know that you are worried. I know that you are thinking that this is some crazy, but I can give you back your mobility. Your reports are showing that your nerves are repairing with themselves. I can't tell you what caused it or if it will stop, but for now I am willing to work with it. I want to monitor it. I want to study it. How could I not?"

"I understand that, but you said something about a new brace," Raven stated.

"I think that is where I come in," a dark haired woman said as she came into the room. "Let's try this one first. I've been toying with it since Sammy sent me your file."

Raven cocked an eyebrow at the woman, but allowed her to approach. She removed the brace that Raven had made so many years ago and set it to the side. She then grabbed hers, something similar to what Raven had seen on the Ark and in old movies. The black medal was smaller. Meeka wrapped it around her leg and clipped it closed.

"Stand," Meeka told her.

Raven gave the other engineer a look, but didn't move. Sam laughed at her. She'd only seen Palla so cautious before with Meeka. Maybe it was something to do with her being an Earthling, but Sam didn't care.

"Either you stand or we stand you up. Your choice for now. I can't assess you properly if you don't cooperate."

Raven didn't answer in English, but in Trig, knowing that they wouldn't understand and continued to mumble broken Trig under her breath. She shifted on the gurney until her legs hung over the edge. The first thing she noticed was that her left leg actually bent. She looked down at her knee in the new brace and then over to Meeka. She looked back down at her leg and cocked her head as she placed both hands on the edge of the gurney to push herself off of it and into a sitting position. She hesitated. She knew she did and she knew that Sam knew she was, too. Fear crept into her heart and she was frozen to the spot. She was scared that if she did stand and her leg didn't hold that everything would have been for naught. She didn't know if she would be able to handle that. Her hands gripped the edge until they were white.

Sam and Meeka watched her. Sam could see the fear in her eyes and then realized how close to the edge that the Latina really was when she saw how hard she was gripping the gurney. She stepped closer to it and stood in front of it. Meeka followed her lead, eager to see if the brace worked. Sam reached out and place a hand on top of hers. Raven turned to look into her eyes.

"I know you don't have a reason to trust us. I know that you want this to work so bad that you can taste it, but Raven, you aren't doing anyone any favors by just sitting there. If you don't try, I can't plan around your limitations to help you. I know that you are scared we are going to fail. I am, too. But, we've got to try. If we don't, we'll never know. You've come this far on your own. Let me...let us help you the rest of the way," Sam told her.

Raven nodded. It was small, but it was enough. Meeka took her other hand and slowly, Raven pushed off the gurney and on to her feet. They both waited until she was standing on her own to back a way a distance to see if she could stand on her own in the brace or if they needed to work it more. She rose to her full height and started to put weight on her leg. When she didn't fall and her knee didn't give out, she looked over at Sam and gave her a small smile.

"Take a step," Sam urged.

Meeka took another step away, but was close enough if needed. Sam made sure that she was within grabbing distance as she urged Raven forward. Raven stood there for a moment. All the memories of trying to walk again after her surgery with Abby in what was left of Alpha station came flooding back. This time she didn't have at her side to help her. Shaw was still in space with those that weren't allowed or couldn't come down. She swallowed it down. She was Raven Reyes, damn it. She needed to start acting like it again. She was the youngest zero g spacewalker that the Ark ever had at nineteen. She's fought to survive in space. She fought for everything she wanted, everything that she ever needed in order to survive. She wasn't doing this for Finn or Wick or even Shaw. She had to do this for herself. And, once she could walk, she would prove her worth as more than just an engineer. She would get the new title of jusgona the same that she became the youngest zero G engineer on the Ark, sheer determination.

She pushed off of her left foot and shifted it forward. It was awkward, but it moved. Then, she moved her right foot. This was going to be the real test. Could her left leg actually bear weight in the new brace to help propel her forward? It held and she took the step.

"Again," Sam stated.

She repeated the process again, but this time with her left leg moving. It was slow, but she moved it. Her knee hadn't given out.

"Good. The brace is holding. Now, try it again, but high step. I know that sounds weird, but I want you to try it while bending your leg. You're still dragging it."

Raven nodded. This time she raised her legs higher than a normal gait. It forced her leg to bend and the brace bent with it. Watching the brace move with her leg, she lost her concentration and almost fell. Sam and Meeka were there quickly to catch her as she set her left foot down. She pushed them away, realizing her mistake and tried it again. Right than left, but this time, she didn't lose sight of her goal. Her left leg came up and her knee bent. She lurched forwards and placed her foot back on the floor. Her leg straightened and her knee locked just enough to bear weight as her body moved forward with the step. She waited a second or two to make sure that her leg wasn't going to give out and then stepped with her right leg. Once her right foot was stationary, she moved her left again. She did this over and over until Sam made her stop.

"So, the brace works and it is strong enough to help you hold yourself up. This is good. You're gait is awkward, but we can work on that. For now, I don't want you doing that high step unless someone is with you."

"Why not?"

"We are trying to figure out how to proceed, Raven. I don't want you to injure yourself. It is going to be a slow process, but we are having to reteach that leg how to walk, how to bend, how to function like it should. If you don't have someone with you and you fall, more damage could occur and we might not be able to reverse it. For now, just don't unless someone is with you. The better you get at it, the faster I'll let you on your own. Until then, I am going to study your charts and work with you. As long as you are in the Village and can get to me, I want to see you at least once a week. I'll assess you and we'll go from there," Sam told her. "Any questions?"

"No, doc, not right now."

"Good. Let's go see if Palla's back. We'll ride with you back to her place. I need to talk with her anyway."

"Sounds good."