86. The Next Right Thing
Minerva shot out of the house like the proverbial bat out of hell. The door banged shut behind her as she whipped out her wand. Despite her fury, her hand was perfectly steady and she pointed it with deadly accuracy right at the heart of the man standing before her. Or rather, she pointed it at the spot where his heart should have been.
"You have five seconds to get off this porch or, I swear to God, it'll be the last thing you'll ever see!" she hissed. Due to her fiery temper Minerva had made some idle threats every once in a while, but this was not one of them.
Nevertheless, Severus Snape made no move to reach for his own wand to defend himself. He just stood there motionless, as black and devoid of light as the endless night he had condemned Minerva to live in.
"Go ahead," he said simply. "I daresay you'd do us both a favour."
That was, quite possibly, the only answer that could make Minerva hesitate.
"Except," Snape continued and now his voice sounded more like his usual snarl, "if you did that, you'd bring Ministry officials down on you and everyone in this house and we both know who's in charge at the Ministry now."
She had perhaps lowered her hand just a little, but now Minerva raised it again. The tip of her wand touched Snape's chest and began to burn a hole into his robes. Her wand happened to be just as fiery as the witch it had chosen all those years ago. "Do you really think threatening my family makes me less inclined to kill you?"
Unfortunately, Snape had a point and he had cleverly mentioned the very thing that had kept her hands tied for weeks. As much as Minerva wanted to end Severus Snape, she couldn't. Even though she had never felt more alone than she did these days, she wasn't really. She had a family. People who bore her name and who might have to pay the price for anything rash Minerva chose to do.
Ever since June she had argued with Malcolm and Catriona about their safety and especially about the safety of Malcolm's wife, who was Muggle-born, and Catriona's mother, who was a Muggle. Minerva understood that her brother and her niece didn't want to run and hide, certainly not while leaving her behind. It felt all wrong. But the alternative was worse, so much worse, Minerva knew because she was already living it. If she wasn't past her breaking point already, losing the rest of her family would definitely rip her apart for good.
They had not come to an agreement until a few days ago. When Rufus Scrimgeour had been murdered, the Ministry had fallen and the Order of the Phoenix could no longer protect anyone. Time had run out on them and Minerva had put her foot down. Her family had agreed to leave the country while there was still the chance to do so. Catriona's husband Sam had relatives in the South of France. That's where they would go for now. But they hadn't left yet and now Snape was here on their doorstep.
"I'm not here to threaten your family," he said. Minerva didn't believe a word of it. He could see as much written on her face. His tone was a lot harsher when he added, "Not if you decide to be smarter than you Gryffindors usually are and return to Hogwarts to do your job."
"My job?" Minerva repeated, her eyebrows shooting upwards. It wasn't just anger that burned inside of her but also a bit of shame. Even before Voldemort had taken over, she had left Hogwarts to stay at Catriona's house instead. Her excuses had been plentiful. Her family needed the extra protection her presence provided. The castle on the other hand had been completely empty and since Voldemort had already been well on his way to infiltrate the Ministry, the school governors hadn't confirmed her as Hogwarts' new headmistress yet. Minerva had been left with a lot of uncertainty and not much to do. But that wasn't what she had tried to run away from. She had tried to run from her memories of the man she had loved and lost. Only to find that there was no running from that kind of pain.
"What exactly is my job, Severus?" When she said his name, she made sure to put all of her loathing into those few syllables. "To tell half of my students that they're no longer allowed to continue and complete their education because of who their parents are? And while I'm at it, hand them over to be sent to Azkaban? You can't seriously believe I would ever agree to do that!"
The look of exasperation on Severus' face was almost like old times. But there was no going back to that, ever. "You should better be grateful that your personal Blood Status isn't in doubt and that you're well known for having helped to run Hogwarts for years. Which is why the Dark Lord wants you to keep doing exactly that. It would be beyond foolish to give him a reason to look at you any closer than that!"
She wasn't surprised that he was resorting to threats after all. But she was surprised to hear that she was actually being offered to keep her position. Finally, here was proof that it had been the right decision never to get married officially. It had saved her life and her freedom. If Voldemort knew that her relationship with the former headmaster of Hogwarts Castle had been more than just a professional one and thus that there was no chance in hell she would ever come around and join his side... she would have been dead ten times over by now.
"He wants me to run the school?" Minerva still asked dubiously.
"He wants you to stay on as deputy headmistress," Snape corrected her.
Minerva's eyes narrowed. "As deputy to whom?"
Snape gritted his teeth and looked as though the answer made him sick to his stomach. "Me."
For a moment she could only stare at him blankly. Then Minerva laughed in his face. Even to her own ears it sounded like a crazed, maniacal laughter. "I'd rather share whatever fate you bestowed on poor Charity."
The Muggle Studies teacher Charity Burbage had resigned via owl post shortly after the end of last term. Her resignation had come completely out of the blue and not doing it in person wasn't like her either. Minerva had known her to be a charming and kind woman and they had always been on good terms. She had tried to contact her several times since then, but Charity seemed to have disappeared. Her last known act had been the publication of an article in the Daily Prophet, in which she had argued passionately against the preservation of the pure bloodlines of the old wizarding families. The evidence pointed towards only one terrible conclusion.
"Tell me, Severus. Did you just hand her over to your master or did you do it in person? She never said an unkind word to you or anyone else. But you like to kill the good ones, don't you?"
He balled his hands into fists and a muscle in his jaw tensed visibly. "Hate me all you want," he said coolly. "Hogwarts needs you."
Minerva recoiled from his words as though Snape had struck her. Those words did not belong to him. He knew that and he had confronted her with them on purpose. As if he knew that Minerva had made a promise. A promise she had failed to live up to so far. The school she had vowed to protect was being taken apart piece by piece. Good teachers and students were turned away, imprisoned or killed while murderers were invited inside to rule as they pleased. It was disgusting, outrageous, sacrilegious even. And Minerva had done nothing to stop it. This was her chance to start. All she needed to do was to work for the worst murderer of them all.
Impossible.
"It's what Dumbledore would have wanted," Snape pushed her.
Right over the edge.
"Don't you dare!" Minerva screamed at him as sparks flew from her wand and the porch shook beneath their feet. "Don't you dare say his name to my face ever again!"
Snape looked conflicted somehow. "I didn't..." he began, but then his voice faltered.
"You didn't what?" Minerva spat icily. "Plan on becoming a murderer? Well, it's too late for that now, isn't it?"
His eyes hardened again. "Never mind. Come back to Hogwarts and live or don't come back and die. Throw away his legacy, if that's what you prefer. But know the students will suffer for it." He turned to walk away, but he was forced to stop and cast a Shield Charm when Minerva pointed her wand at a flowerpot and sent it flying right after him.
His shield diverted the pot so that it crashed into the fence and was smashed to bits. It didn't matter. Minerva found other things to throw at him. "He trusted you! He defended you! He even cared for you!" she yelled. "I told him not to. I told him so many times. But even I didn't know what a pitiful, despicable, worthless excuse for a human being you are!"
Snape's shield flickered as his eyes flashed with something that appeared to be righteous indignation. "I expect you back at Hogwarts in time to prepare the new school year," he ground out. "Or I expect you not to show your face again at all."
"What if no one wants to come?" Minerva asked. In a moment of crazed delusion she wondered if perhaps she could collect all the students and find a new school somewhere else.
"Then they will find out that just like the rest of us they don't have a bloody choice in the matter," Snape snarled and Disapparated before Minerva could transfigure the garden gnomes to chase after him.
It was in the dead of night on a seemingly deserted country road that Minerva found herself standing alone. Until a second figure wrapped in a dark cloak appeared and Minerva raised her wand, ready to defend herself.
"It's me, it's me!" Pomona whispered urgently and lowered her hood. "You and I met for the first time in the Hogwarts library and I told you to use Murtlap Essence for a cut on your hand."
"And I told you that a bedside table in a girls' dormitory is no place for a pet Devil's Snare, even if it listens to the name Peppers," Minerva replied and lowered her wand in relief when Pomona smiled at the memory.
Her friend cast a look around and shivered. The mist from the Dementors made August feel like early winter. "Are we in the right place? I remember it differently."
"We are. And we're on time, so he better not let us wait out here..." Minerva muttered under her breath.
As soon as she had finished saying that, a raven appeared and landed next to them with a scroll of parchment clasped in its beak. Minerva took it and after reading it handed it to Pomona. Suddenly the previously empty road led to a quaint, little house, nestled between a couple of trees. Their branches curved almost protectively around the house and their leaves shimmered faintly bluish and coppery.
"Oh, that's subtle," Pomona commented, now that she could see through the Fidelius Charm as well.
"As opposed to the flesh-eating plants in your front yard?" Minerva suggested with a slight frown.
"Those serve a purpose when the Death Eaters come calling," her colleague defended herself.
Minerva decided not to argue and strode quickly towards the front door.
There was no need to knock. Filius had already pulled it open and he ushered them inside. "Come in, come in," trilled the Charms master.
"What if I were a Death Eater?" Pomona asked wryly as she crossed the threshold first.
"If you were a Death Eater, Minerva wouldn't have let you enter my house," Filius argued quite cleverly and correctly, Minerva thought.
"What if she were a Death Eater?" Pomona countered.
Filius eyed her thoughtfully. "Then we'd all be doomed anyway."
Pomona snorted, but she did not disagree.
"I'm not a Death Eater, but I'm not sure that's enough to save us from impending doom," Minerva said as Filius led them towards a small kitchen table to sit. There were two normal sized chairs and a higher one for the owner of the house. An old tea set hovered over the middle of the table. Upon their approach the teapot began to fill three cups, which landed in front of each of them. The pot continued to hover, waiting for someone to need a refill. "I suppose you've read in the Daily Prophet that it's now mandatory to attend Hogwarts, provided the students can prove their Blood Status. Otherwise, they will not be taught."
Filius and Pomona exchanged a dark nod. "I've been wondering..." said the Head of Ravenclaw House. "I know you'd never stand for something like this, so... you're not going to be headmistress, are you?"
"No, I'm to stay on in my previous position," Minerva explained. "Or else."
"Or else what?" asked Pomona worriedly.
Minerva's brow furrowed. "Use your imagination."
"Oh, I can imagine a lot of things – from the Imperius Curse to the Dementor's Kiss. Call me morbid, but I'd like to know exactly how soul-crushing the trouble is that I'm getting myself into."
"I thought we were talking about me," Minerva pointed out.
"Yes, but obviously we'll follow your lead, right?" That last part was directed at Filius.
He froze with his teacup halfway towards his mouth. "Er... well... it might be prudent to consider all the options first..."
"Spoken like a true Ravenclaw," Pomona said and rolled her eyes.
"Thank you," Filius replied brightly, ignoring her sarcasm.
"I don't expect you to do as I do without thinking about it first," Minerva clarified. "But I have decided to return to the school, not because I'm scared of what they might do to me otherwise, but because I'm scared of what they will do to the students if I'm not there. I don't know what I can do to protect them or to stop any of this, but I know I have to try. The least I can do is continue to teach and make sure that my position isn't free to be filled by a Death Eater." Not to mention that this was the only way for her to look at herself in the mirror again.
Pomona shot Filius a prompting look.
"Fine, you were right. It seems there's not that much to think about after all. We're with you, of course. I don't know about you, but I never seriously considered quitting. I thought it might be the other way around. That they would kick us out so they could teach the students whatever they want."
"I guess even You-Know-Who is aware that most of his supporters lack the skill set or the brains to teach advanced magic. And then where would he get his future Death Eaters?" Minerva said, grimacing.
Filius cocked his head in thought. "According to that logic, refusing to teach would actually be a valid way of working against him."
"But probably not worth the lives that would be ruined in order to pay for it."
"Very true. So we shall do what we can, what we must."
They all sipped their tea with similarly resigned but determined expressions.
Finally, Pomona asked the question Minerva would have liked to avoid a little longer. "Wait, if you're still deputy headmistress, then who's going to be Head of Hogwarts Castle?"
Minerva put down her cup of tea. "We might need something stronger for this."
And then she told them and leaned back in her chair while Filius and Pomona were ranting and raving about the injustice of it all.
It was oddly comforting. To be among friends. Minerva had stayed with her family for the past few weeks, but she had kept to herself a lot. There had been no other way. The grief and despair clung to her like a second skin, isolating her from the rest of the world, even as dark as that was at the moment. The hole in her heart seemed darker still.
Her contact with the Order had been minimal as well. She had only learned of the truly shocking news, the good and the bad. Remus and Tonks getting married so soon after just getting together. It seemed like a quick turnaround on Remus' part, but Minerva wished them well from the bottom of her heart, whatever that was worth these days. And then Mad-Eye Moody dying in the attempt to get Potter to safety. That one would have hurt a lot more if Minerva hadn't been completely spent already.
Filius and Pomona were still abusing Severus Snape and Minerva's lips actually formed something akin to a smile. It didn't last long.
She had let her gaze wander, thinking she might spot a stronger drink for them than tea. Instead, she nearly fell off her chair in shock when she suddenly found herself looking into Albus' eyes. Pain shot through her fast as lightning.
Her reaction had not gone unnoticed. Filius turned to see what she was staring at and blanched. "Oh no!"
He reached for his wand, but Minerva was faster. By now she had realised that Albus was smiling at her out of the front cover of a glossy book and she summoned it into her hands before Filius could stop her. "What is this?" she whispered, her hands shaking badly as she held Albus, held the book. "The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore," she mouthed the title, her voice barely audible at first but then getting a whole lot louder. "The Life AND LIES of Albus Dumbledore? BY RITA SKEETER? What the bloody hell is this?"
Filius looked too miserable to respond, so Pomona asked sympathetically, "You didn't know?"
"I…" Minerva didn't know how to explain that she had secluded herself at Catriona's house and had spent most of her time with the constant struggle to find the will to get out of bed in the morning. She had skimmed the Daily Prophet every day only because it was dangerous not to know what they were reporting nowadays. Shortly after Albus' death Elphias Doge had published an obituary. It had been very kind, too kind, actually. Albus would have thought it was ridiculous. Mostly, it had proved that Elphias hadn't really known Albus at all. As an extremely private person Albus wouldn't have wanted anyone to write about him and he definitely wouldn't have wanted anyone to write about his family. Minerva hadn't been strong enough to have words with Elphias and the damage had already been done anyway. From then on she had decided not to look at any articles about Albus. She had hoped to protect herself that way. Now she realised that ignorance was only bliss until the truth caught up with you.
Turning from the distraught look on Minerva's face to Filius, Pomona demanded, "What were you thinking buying this rubbish?"
"I didn't! It's not actually mine. I just forgot it was there or I would have put it away. I'm sorry." He wrung his hands guiltily. "But not reading it doesn't stop everyone else from talking about it, you know."
"Talk about what exactly?" Minerva asked sharply.
"Doesn't matter, does it?" Pomona intercepted quickly. "This is Rita Skeeter we're talking about. You told me yourself once that she's always twisting everything into the most outrageous nonsense!"
"Actually…" Filius said, ignoring the murderous glare Pomona was shooting him, "I think she forced it all out of Bathilda Bagshot against her will. She lived next to the Dumbledores in Godric's Hollow and she might not have been privy to everything, but some of it sounds like the truth."
Pomona opened her mouth to protest, but Minerva held up a hand and fixed her eyes on Filius. "Like what?"
He seemed to wilt under her stare. "Well, that Dumbledore was actually friends with Grindelwald once. There's a copy of a letter that looks real. It suggests that… Dumbledore came up with the 'For the Greater Good' slogan."
While Pomona gasped in shock, Minerva focused on breathing in and out, in and out. "Is that all?"
"That's the part for which Skeeter presents some actual evidence. The part about the sister is probably nothing but slander, like Pomona said," Filius replied, talking fast.
Minerva's heart froze in her chest. "Ariana?" she whispered. "What does it say about her?"
"Just that she died tragically young," Filius lied. He clearly began to question the wisdom of having said anything at all. But Minerva refused to let him off the hook. Either he told her now or she would have to read this horrible book for herself to find out. Filius seemed to understand that telling her would be less of a torture. At least it would be quick. "Skeeter alleges that she died in some sort of Dark Magic ritual conducted by Grindelwald and Dumbledore and that the family had kept her locked up because she was a Squib and they were ashamed of her."
"Ashamed?" Minerva echoed almost as if in a trance.
Ironically, Filius had a point. There was some truth to Skeeter's book. Albus had been ashamed. Deeply and terribly so. But of himself, not his sister. It had haunted him all his life and in the end it had killed him. Now everyone knew about his shame. Only they didn't know the true, tragically human version but a horribly twisted one, as twisted and vicious as the woman who had written it.
Minerva dropped the book on the table as her pent-up fury exploded out of her. "I'm going to kill her!" she hissed and reached for her wand.
This time Filius beat her to it. Her wand zoomed straight into his hand before Minerva's fingers could close around it. "Give me back my wand!" she growled. As she said this, she stood up and took a step towards him.
Filius took a step back and they slowly began to chase each other around the table while Pomona stood by helplessly. "Let's just take a breath for a second and wait…"
"I'm done waiting," Minerva spat, lost in a storm of rage. "I'm done trying to claw my way out of this endless hole. I need to do something now and ridding the world of Rita Skeeter seems as good as anything else."
"It's definitely an idea," Filius said shrilly, still walking backwards. "Let's save that for later and focus on saving Hogwarts first, eh? Hard to do that from Azkaban, don't you think? I'm not saying you couldn't make her disappear without a trace, but I'm pretty sure that's not what Dumbledore would have wanted."
Something must have flashed in Minerva's eyes that made Filius freeze. "Stop telling me what Albus would have wanted! All of you!" she roared. "You have no idea who he was. Who he was to me. You have no right to tell me what I should do. No right…"
Her voice faltered and Filius used his chance to say, "Maybe not. But I think I know who you are, Minerva McGonagall. I know not many people would still be standing if they were in your place. The time will come to let it all out, all of what you're feeling. But it's not now. We need you to keep it together for a little longer. It's not fair, but it's the truth."
The honesty in Filius' caring eyes allowed for Minerva's anger to subside enough to make her feel embarrassed about her outburst. Appalled by her own behaviour, Minerva held up her hands in a gesture of surrender.
"I'm sorry," she managed brokenly.
Filius gave her an encouraging smile. Pomona huffed. "Give me that!" She snatched Minerva's wand out of Filius' hand, placed it in Minerva's palm and closed her fingers firmly around it. "You'll do the right thing. And we'll be with you when you do."
Her wand felt warm to the touch, ready to do Minerva's bidding, whatever that might be. But she also felt a different kind of warmth when she looked up at the other two. "Thank you."
Pomona nodded and turned back to Filius, "Now, about that drink? If I have to be respectful to Severus Snape, I'll definitely need one."
"Who said anything about being nice to him?" Filius said with a grin.
And off they went, discussing ways of being decidedly unhelpful to their new headmaster.
Minerva used this little moment to herself to pick up the book again. She stared at the picture of Albus and slowly caressed his cheek with her thumb. Don't worry, she thought. This will not be your legacy. I won't let it.
The Albus on the cover continued to smile at her perfectly unconcerned. Minerva remembered when this photo had been taken. It had been at some Ministry function Albus hadn't wanted to go to, but he couldn't, in good conscience, not attend. He had to do what was expected of him and, more importantly, he had to do what was right. So he had told her that he would go and he would smile because the entire time he would be thinking about coming home to her afterwards.
"I guess now it's my turn," Minerva muttered and flipped over the book so that the Albus on the cover disappeared from view.
A/N: So here we are. Book seven. The beginning of the end. It felt strange to write this chapter without Albus in it, or at least without him being physically present. But thank you all for you wonderful feedback on last week's difficult chapter.