Chapter 78

Raven sat in the bed and stared at Palla. She wasn't sure how much she liked the woman before her. That wasn't a correct statement. She liked her well enough, but she didn't understand her. And, Raven liked to understand things. Palla was a mystery to her. She just didn't make sense in Raven's world. There was way too much gray surrounding the leader, and it worried Raven. She knew that Clarke and Madi trusted her. She knew that Echo and Octavia trusted her, trained with her, and followed her like they would Clarke, Lexa, or Madi. It was just strange, but even Raven had to admit that she was attracted to her.

She kept looking at her and wondering what she was missing. Palla was special, but it was in the same way that Lexa and Madi were. She had the black blood, but there was more to it than that. She had the same presence about her that Clarke had. She was attractive, but Raven didn't want her. The dark hair woman could admit that Palla was beautiful. She was good with kids, or at least with her own fosterling Lex. She was broken like Clarke.

"What?"

"Hmm?" Raven replied.

"Your thinking too hard, Raven. You need rest. Besides, worrying about Clarke, Madi, Echo and Octavia, what troubles you? Is it your leg? Do I need to get Sam or Meeka?" Palla asked her.

"No, the meds are working just fine."

"Then, why are you thinking so hard?"

Raven cocked an eyebrow. Her dealings with Palla had been very limited into dealing with her leg, not so much a one on one. She didn't know how she would react to Raven's interrogation, but she knew that the woman survived being alone with both Echo and Octavia, so there must be something there.

"Raven?"

"Octavia and Echo trust you," Raven stated.

"I guess so, yeah," Palla replied.

"Why? Is it because of your blood? Is it because you want to help us?"

"You'd have to ask them, Raven. I don't know. I know that they were both told to protect me. But, Octavia might have more reason than Echo."

"Because you saved her," Raven mused.

"Yes."

"Do you really care about us?" Raven questioned.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I can't really explain it. I guess it has to do with my blood and how I was raised here on Terra Nova. I care about everyone that is on this planet. It is my job, but it was also what I was trained to do. But, much like Lexa and Madi, I have to be careful and not let my emotions get the better of me. The last time that happened..."

"You went over the wall to avenge your wife?"

"Yes."

"Do you care about the Praha, too?"

"Yes."

"You love your enemies?" Raven asked.

"It isn't any different than I love you, Raven. I want them to return to the fold. I want them to have better lives than what they do above the wall. I know that the land there is harsh and conditions are hard. I didn't push them into this life. They did it on their own, but I can't make them come back and follow our ways. It is their choice. Just like Elena and the Amazons. They are still my subjects, but they don't live within the Village. In their own way, they still contribute to Helios as a whole. The Praha don't. They hurt people, steal, kill, and pillage."

"But, you haven't brought them to heel," Raven stated.

"No, I didn't. I gave them a choice. We made a treaty."

"Which they broke when they attacked Octavia?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes, they did."

"And, you haven't retaliated?"

"Not with the winter and the Snows so close, no. It would be a suicide. I am sure that they know we're coming. Repairing the wall is the best that I can do now. I need to protect my people, even it is from themselves. As long as the Wall holds through the winter, I will reassess our charge after the thaws," Palla explained.

"And, after the Thaws, will you let us fight with you?"

"That depends on both Madi and Clarke," Palla answered.

"Still diplomatic, even now," Raven mused.

"I would not condemn your people to another war. Especially one that you haven't been a part of, save for the incident with Octavia. If Madi grants your troops, I will gladly take them. I know that your people seem to be a little more suited for war and battle. We aren't so much like that anymore," Palla stated.

"Because that was all the Grounders knew on Earth. Trust me, those of us that are part of Wonkru or Gryfonkru, what ever we're calling it now, that were from the Ark and space, we weren't suited for war. We had to learn it. We had to fight to survive, and it wasn't pretty. That is why Madi keeps Clarke so close. It isn't just because she is the mother figure in her life now. It is because she respects everything that Clarke went through to get us this far. Clarke saved us all again and again. And, honestly, we've never thanked her the way we should. She's been our, well, my leader since she stepped foot on Earth, and she hasn't stopped. She defers to Madi for the simple fact that she has to because of heda chip in her neck. If she didn't, I'm sure that she wouldn't," Raven told her.

"But yet, you still follow Madi," Palla said.

"I do."

"Why?" Palla asked her.

"Because she is a mix of Lexa and Clarke. She's growing into her role. She thinks things through before she acts. She feels things, but she knows when not to let her emotion get the best of her. And, she's had a lot to deal with in her thirteen or fourteen years of existence."

"When she was called to be heda, how old was she?"

"Twelve," Raven answered. "The youngest ever."

Palla nodded. She's spent time with Madi. She knew how smart and how naive the girl was, but she still trusted her.

"She means well, but like you said, she's learning," Palla added.

"You remind me of her," Raven stated.

"Who?"

"Lexa, a little. Like, she would have been more like you if they were fighting so much. I don't know. I can't really explain it, but it is something in your mannerisms and your eyes."

"My eyes?" Palla inquired.

"Yeah, some times, I can see the emotions swirling there. And, others, you are so closed off that I am afraid that you are going to go mad and start killing people. But, you're more grounded. You're hard but soft. You're strong but yielding. You're just you," Raven started. "It's different with you though. You blink."

"What?"

"Lexa had this thing that while she was in a large group, or giving commands, or speeches or whatever, that she didn't blink. I don't know if it was a conscious thing or not, but she didn't blink. It was almost like she was afraid that if she would blink that she would miss something. Which I guess is a good thing when your a leader that has had several attempted assassinations against her. I only remember seeing her blink in public once," Raven stated.

"Do you know why she did? Did something happen to make her break her facade? Can you tell me?"

"Clarke was trying to make a treaty with them. She was almost poisoned. I was framed as the one that tried to poison her. We were all held and threatened to be killed. In the end, Lexa agreed to let us go and not hunt us, forgoing the treaty if I was handed over. Later it wasn't a choice. I was to be executed because I was the one that had the poison on them when they searched us all."

"What happened?"

"They dragged me to a pole and tied me to it. Then, they made the rest of the watch while the Grounders took turns cutting me. Clarke couldn't stand to watch it, so she managed to get their healer, a good man named Nyko to had her the bottle that was supposedly poisoned. She yelled at Lexa and then took a really big swig from the bottle. When nothing happened to her, Clarke told her that it wasn't the drink that was poisoned it was Lexa's cup. In that moment, Lexa realized that it was one of her own that threatened her life."

"Who was it?" Palla inquired.

"Her personal body guard. His name was Gustus. He had been with her from the beginning of her reign. He believed in her, but he thought that an alliance with us, Skaikru would end her. He was right in the end, but that is another story."

"So, he was put in your place."

"Yes," Raven answered. "And, I realized that day how much that Clarke had done for us, how much of her own soul she'd sacrificed, but that never stopped me from pushing her. We never gave her the credit she deserved or deserves. But, she's never stopped putting all of us before herself. It is like she can't."

"She can't. It is her burden as a leader. But, Gustus was executed in your place. This is what caused Lexa to blink in front of you?" Palla questioned.

"Yeah, she gave him the death blow. It is a final mercy from her at such executions. Her sword through their heart to end their suffering. She drew it, placed the tip and looked into his eyes. He raised his head and looked her straight in the eyes. It was his final act of supplication to her as he begged her to stay strong in their language. As soon as he finished the words, she used her body weight to sink the sword through his chest, killing him instantly, but she blinked. I saw it. I saw her break, that tiny bit, but I am sure that I am not the only one who saw it. Shortly after she withdrew her sword, she turned to Clarke and told her that we would finish negotiations in the morning. And, that was it. Lexa was back to being heda. I never saw her break again. I am sure Clarke did, but that was the one and only time, I did."

"Do you believe in reincarnation like the Grounders do?"

"I don't know. I have nothing to substantiate it. It would be something nice to believe in, but it would also be sad, I think."

"Why?"

"To know that I would have to wait to be with my soul mate again would be sad, but I would still be happy to know that we would be together again in another life time. I think that it would lead to more suicides, you know. To hurry the cycle along, but I think that there was belief of it on Earth even before the Grounders. I kinda like their version," Raven said.

"Ah, yes, that your rebirth depends on your deeds in this life?"

"Yes, but it also scares me. We've done so much to survive and live. We've done horrible things all in the name of our people. I am not sure that we should be able to overcome that easily. I think that we will all be punished for it in a coming life. But, I also believe in science, what I can see, touch, you know. Reincarnation is something that I am not sure that I'm completely behind, but for some, I wish it was true," Raven answered.

"Like who?"

"Clarke for one. She deserves some happiness after this crap shoot of a life. And, Octavia. Losing Lincoln nearly killed her, she lost it for awhile. And, honestly, I can't blame her. She just had more than I did when... It doesn't matter, but she's not really been with anyone since then."

"What about Niylah?"

"Niylah? She'd be good for Octavia, but Octavia is hot blooded. Niylah isn't. They would clash to a degree, but I think that Niylah would help keep her tempered. Maybe that is why Echo is good for Bellamy," Raven mused.

"Can I show you something?"

"Sure," Raven answered.

Palla pulled up her shirt and showed it to Raven. The Latina scrunched up her face at the birthmark. Palla ran a finger over the spot and then looked up into Raven's eyes.

"What is that?" Raven questioned.

"It is my birthmark," Palla answered.

"Okay, so why did I need to see it?"

"Because Madi informs me that this is the same spot that Lexa was shot," Palla told her.

Raven just sucked in a breath. She looked at the spot and then back to Palla's eyes. Shaking her head, she reached over to find the tablet that had been left in her room for her to communicate with Clarke or Echo back at the barracks. She opened the application that she knew to use and waited for Echo's line to go live.

"What is wrong me Little Bird?" Echo asked her as soon as she picked up the call.

"We need to talk. Now. Find Madi," Raven told her.