"Sit." Severus commanded, pointing at the sofa.
Hermione arched an eyebrow. "Shall I offer a paw as well?"
"Do not get cheeky with me, my girl. We are going to discuss last night."
"Do we have to?" Hermione whined pouting at him, uncharacteristically sounding like a small child.
Forceabley keeping his face blank lest he smirk at her unusual display, he deadpanned a "Yes,"
She sighed at him, sitting where he had indicated looking ill at ease. "Where is Harry?"
"Banished to the grounds with Draco, a picnic and brooms."
"Ah….romantic." she replied with a slight quirk of her lips. "I do hope you've sent an elf chaperone."
Severus sighed, cursing internally. "Max."
"Yes, Master?"
"Can you ensure neither Mr Potter nor Mr Malfoy behave…..inappropriately."
"Ofs course, Master."
As the elf disappeared again, Hermione shot him an unsurprised but still unimpressed look. "And tell me, Father, would you have forgotten if it had been me?"
"No." Severus sighed, "In my defence I have no actual idea of what either Draco or Harry's sexual orientation is beyond guesswork."
She arched a brow. "I mean we have a pretty good idea that regardless of anything else they like each other."
"Alright Hermione, you've made your point. I apologise for the oversight, it will not happen again." She rolled her eyes at him, her face suggesting that she was still unimpressed. He suppressed another sigh, acknowledging that she had a point and given her issues with the rules, it had been a stupid mistake to make. "With that rectified, I want to discuss yesterday."
"What about it?"
"Hermione!" he growled.
"Father." she replied, her face blank.
"Would it be better to speak to your Aunt?"
"Ah yes, delightful. Let's discuss all my insecurities with a bloody model who never puts a foot wrong. Fabulous idea."
"Hermione…." he began, at a total loss of how to proceed. "I was under the impression your relationship with your Aunt Cissa was close." he hedged.
Looking down at her knees, Hermione sighed. "It is."
"But?" he prompted, privately thinking that Narcissa would be devastated if she was ever made aware of that comment.
"They're all so bloody perfect! Christ, even Pansy never looks like she doubts what she's doing. And I meant what I said. I am aware of what people say about me, what people think. Jesus my own friends say it often enough, I can hardly pretend I don't know. And now….now I'm expected to just be this other person. Follow these rules Hermione, do this, wear that, behave in a certain way, never let your guard down, never make a mistake, wear that mask, keep your opinions to yourself, allow them to look down on you, smile when they're insulting you, god forbid you insult them back. Allow them to act like you should be ashamed of your family, never forget you wont be good enough, your upbringing will always be viewed as a hindrance, something to be swept under the rug, brought up to taunt you just incase you forget you'll never be good enough, you'll never actually fit in but you've got to keep on trying because it wouldn't do for you to let the side down, to ignore all the expectations, to admit you'll never fucking belong, that you're not sure you want to."
Severus blinked for a moment as she finally drew breath, wondering how long that had been brewing, wanting to cry for this broken girl of his, who clearly had no idea how fucking wonderful she was. He wanted to hex those fucking arseholes who had made her feel like this, silently acknowledging that perhaps he was one of them. He hadn't realised before how fucking painful it would feel to have no idea where the fuck to even begin to help her put the peices back together, how hard it would be to bury that horribly sharp pain that appeared when he wondered yet again if perhaps it would be better for her not to have him in her life, after all, he was the reason she had to do all of this, it had never been a consideration when she had thought herself muggleborn.
Not having the words, he moved to sit beside her, pulling her onto his lap as he enveloped her, trying to pour everything he couldn't say into that hug. He felt her resist for a moment before she sagged against him, he could feel her shaking as she tried not to cry. He wasn't sure why she bothered, they both knew it was utterly pointless. He rocked her slightly, feeling her give in to her inevitable tears, wondering if perhaps it was time to persuade Helen to cancel her patients for the day, wondering why he hadn't thought of it before, surely her mother was better equipped to deal with this? Stroking a hand down her hair, he suppressed a sigh.
They stayed like that for a long time as he allowed Hermione to get herself back under control.
"Sorry." she muttered into his buttons.
"For what?"
She made a half hearted sweeping gesture with her hand, not lifting her head.
"Hermione." he sighed when she ignored him. "Hermione, look at me." He felt her shake her head. Stubborn little witch. Shifting her slightly, he placed a hand under her chin, moving her head up until she was at his eye level. She kept her eyes cast down. "Hermione." he tried again, sighing as she refused to look up, letting go of her chin, he allowed her to drop her head onto his shoulder as he contemplated his next words. "I've told you before that this is what I am here for, that you need not apologise. That being said, perhaps your mother might be better to speak to? I have no real idea what I'm doing Hermione but I am trying." he sighed into the silence, he could feel the tears that had clearly restarted silently begin to soak into the fabric at his neck. "I'm sure I agreed to that ginger beast in order to prevent death by way of your tears." he muttered, startling a laugh out of her. He felt her reach up to dry her tears, not daring to hope that she might now consent to speak to him, her silence unnerved him. He had no idea what was going on inside her head.
"Do you ever wonder what the point of following all these rules are?"
"Often." he said quietly, "But you cannot change the rules if you do not know them in the first place."
"We both know I'll never be able to change the rules, Father." she murmured softly.
"Why?"
She snorted, "I'm the half-blood upstart raised by muggles. I'm tolerated because of Aunt Cissas' endorsement."
He sighed, there was a sad amount of truth in that statement, he was tolerated for very similar reasons. "What do you want to do?" he replied finally. He felt her shrug. "Do you wish to stop the charities and the balls?"
"Then they've won." she muttered.
He suppressed his eye roll with difficulty, "Perhaps but would you be happier?"
"Aunt Cissa would murder me."
"Leave your Aunt to me. Would you be happier?"
"Maybe. I don't know." she sighed, "It all just feels….like it's taking over and the expectations are getting more restrictive but then, not everyone's playing by the same set of rules. And I don't understand any of it. I don't understand why it's now ok for people to talk to me when they were not allowed before. Jesus Theo was scared to be seen being polite to me in first year and now because I have a shiny new blood status, it's allowed. Thoros is practically tripping over his own feet to get a signed betrothal, it's insane and lets not delude ourselves, he'd ever have entertained the idea if I was actually muggleborn, I'm still surprised he's allowing it given that I'm not pureblood.. And you can't pretend that Adrian Pucey would have consented to touch me before."
"I do not have the answers sweetheart. I am aware that it is unfair and that prejudice is very much alive and well."
"I…..it's just sometimes overwhelming how much things have changed."
He nodded, as he pulled her in tighter, "I know."
"Can we….can we just have a couple of days where it's normal? No etiquette lessons, no bitchy matrons, no Theo or talk of contracts and expectations."
"We can have whatever you wish, my girl."
"I'd like to go and visit Andromeda."
He blinked slightly at the sudden topic change. "Alright…" he drawled slowly, still not connecting the dots.
"She made the change the opposite way around." Hermione supplied.
"Ah. I see. I'm sure she'd be delighted to see you. I'll owl her? And perhaps redirect your owls until you're ready for them?"
She nodded,"Yes. I….i think I just need a break."
He hummed, stroking her head. "Hermione?"
She sighed, "Yes, Father?"
"None of them are perfect. They've just had more years of indoctrination to hone their mask. I know that Ms Parkinson struggles at being forced to hold her tongue, she's as opinionated as you. Ms Bulstrode hates all of it, she is judged because she does not fit the mold of how a society expects her to look, Susan hates them all, Amelia told me she lost her temper, again, after the old crones tore into Amelia for working at the last lunch. It is not just you."
"Then why do we let them do it?" she asked, finally looking at him, frowning.
He quirked an eyebrow, "Perhaps no one has yet considered suggesting a united front?"
Hermione's eyebrows rose sharply as she muttered, "A united front." Moving quickly, she stood. "I need to owl Grandmother. Please let that one through."
He rolled his eyes, a small frisson of fear shooting through him as he contemplated just what he had set in motion.
"Wait! We are not finished." she pouted as she turned on the spot to face him.
"You did not only mention issues with the new rules. Sit. I want to know where this belief that you're awful comes from."
She shrugged awkwardly. "People don't hide what they say about me, Father." she muttered.
"Why do you believe them?"
"If enough of them say it, you begin to question if it's true."
He paused, considering his words carefully. "You have nothing to prove to any of them."
"But?" she prompted
"Hermione, why do you answer every question asked in class?" She flushed slightly as she sat down. "It's not a criticism, my girl." he said softly, wrapping an arm around her, more than a little scared she would bolt. "I have a theory, I wondered if it was correct."
"What's your theory?"
He sighed, "I had wondered if you felt you needed to prove you should be in our world, that you do so by ensuring no one will question that you know the answers." he said eventually, keeping a careful eye on her face. She froze next to him.
"Maybe." she whispered softly. "At first it was so exciting, and then when it became obvious that I wouldn't be any better at making friends at Hogwarts than I was in the muggle world, it became….a way to remember that I was in the right place, even if i didn't fit in. And then when the comments about my parentage started, when it became clear that there were rules and hierarchies I didn't understand…..it became…I don't know. A defence mechanism? No one could tell me I didn't deserve to be there when I was beating all of them."
He nodded slowly. "Perhaps this year then, my girl, you give your peers a chance? Hermione, you are one of the most intelligent witches to walk the halls of Hogwarts in many years. You successfully brewed Polyjuice for Merlin's sake. You do not need to prove your worth to them. Besides, by the time you're due to graduate, I'll have had you complete the syllabus for a potions mastery. Perhaps we can discuss you taking the exams after your N.E.W.T.'s."
She gaped up at him, "Truly?"
He rolled his eyes, "What did you think I had been teaching you all year?"
She shrugged. "I have no idea. I don't know what the syllabus looks like after second year."
He rolled his eyes. "You brewed Polyjuice unassisted. That's NEWT level. I didn't see the point in bothering with the school syllabus. You'll learn it as you go. We'll need to cover some material, antidotes and bases mainly, to give you the grounding you'll need to complete some of the more complicated work but otherwise, I intend you to leave Hogwarts with more than N.E.W.T's."
A small smile slowly travelled over her face. "I love you, Father."
He snorted, "You just love me for my library and my lab."
She grinned up at him. "They help. Can I go and owl Grandmother now?"
"Yes. Go, impatient child."
He sighed as she left. He hadn't covered anywhere near as much as he wanted to but it was a start. He made a mental note to mention it to Helen and perhaps Amelia. She had a child of Hermione's age, maybe she had some answers. Hermione's view of herself concerned him more than he cared to admit.
Two days later, Severus eyed the ever growing pile of letters on his desk. He recognised Theo Notts hand, as well as, interestingly, Adrian Pucey's. He was certain there were a couple from Longbottom, some from Daphne; the inclusion of one from Pansy Parkinson intrigued and alarmed him in equal measure, what was his daughter up to? Deciding plausible deniability was definitely the way forward, he refrained from asking. The only one she had consented to read was from Annalise. A slow, shark-like grin spreading over her face as she read whatever her grandmother had written. There was no ambiguity of feeling with that particular letter, it fucking terrified him.
True to his words, he had cancelled the children's etiquette lessons with Narcissa, and closed the floo, insulating them in a little bubble he was loath to break. Helen and Richard had come to them the previous two evenings at Hermione's request and as such they had had a quiet few days, exploring the grounds, with Harry coaxing Hermione onto a broom when he returned from football camp now she was at least competent thanks to Lucius, brewing, duelling and playing board games Hermione had unearthed from Merlin only knew where. He was reluctant to invite anyone else in but Hermione had requested that they go and visit Andromeda, and so they were going. He wasn't sure he was ready to hand the children over to the Drs Granger for the weekend after it, despite knowing they'd been more than understanding and needed time with Hermione too. He forced himself to accept it, if nothing else Helen had promised to speak with Hermione over the weekend to try and deal with her appalling self esteem.
Several hours later, they arrived at Andromeda's, ushering them into the house, Andromeda smiled slightly at him, he wasn't ashamed to admit it unnerved him.
"Come and meet my daughter Hermione, she's training to be an auror. You remember Nymphadora don't you, Severus?"
He held back a shiver, even hearing the name Nymphadora Tonks was enough to strike fear into the heart of any Professor. She may have been bright enough but she was as clumsy as fuck, which was terrifying in his classroom, how he'd survived teaching her for seven years was beyond him. Her real fear-inducing talent, however, lay in her natural abilities. Teaching a metamorphmagus who imitated you, your colleagues and other students was horrifying. He'd once had a confusing conversation with Albus about the mating habits of mermaids, which had been traumatising enough without the added realisation that it wasn't Albus he was talking to at all. Not to mention the time he'd been stuck trying to escape Trelawny's clutches making him late for a class only to find his double merrily encouraging his third years to brew a potion of their choice or make one up, half of them had bloody started and then assumed that he was Nymphadora pulling a prank. That day had been a particularly brutal brand of carnage, he had no idea what Michel Simpson and Margery Tompkins had attempted to create but he was absolutely sure neither of them had banked on the potion exploding and giving them wings. It had taken them two weeks to persuade Michel to allow the Healers to remove them.
"Don't call me that Mum!" he heard her call as Andromeda ushered them though, Nympharora reaching for Hermione enthusiastically introducing herself with "Just Tonks or Dora at a push. I don't know what Mum was bloody thinking." making Hermione giggle.
Behind him, Harry was watching the witch with awe.
"Did she just change her nose?" he asked Severus, his jaw dropping as Nymphadora changed her nose into a pig, then a beak and then into his own.
Hermione's eyes darted to him while she attempted to hold back her laugh. He rolled his own in return, "I am well used to Nymphadora's antics, Hermione."
The woman scowled at him, "Tonks, Professor. For the love of Merlin, no one wants to be reminded that their mother saddled them with Nymphadora as a name."
Andromeda glared at her daughter, "I happen to like your name."
"You're the only one." Nymphadora muttered.
Andromeda rolled her eyes, "Well sit down, we don't bite. Mr Potter, you do not need to hide behind Severus!"
"Mr Potter?" Nymphadora asked frowning, "As in Mr Harry Potter?"
"That would be me." Harry replied, with an awkward little wave, moving to sit close to Hermione.
"Salazar's sack, so you are!"
"Nymphadora!" Andromeda shouted, sounding scandalised. "Language! You've been spending too much time with Alastor!"
Severus snorted, "Five minutes is too much time with Alastor." he muttered, beside him, Hermione frowned.
"Who's Alastor?"
"Alastor Moody." Andromeda supplied, "He's a brilliant Auror and Nymphadora's mentor. He's a….a bit of a nippy sweetie. His hearts in the right place most of the time but he's a bit abrasive and prone to holding grudges."
"You don't like him." she stated, turning to look at Severus.
Severus sighed, "Not particularly. He has never believed I was a spy."
"Ah." Hermione replied, understanding dawning on her face.
"Tell me how you got stuck with Professor Snape?" Dora asked curiously into the preceding silence.
Harry laughed as Andromeda's hand made contact with the back of Nymphadora's head with a muttered, "Tact, Nymphadora!"
"He sort of just informed me I was coming with him." Harry answered with a shrug. "Apparently Hermione and I have a spontaneous sibling bond, my Aunt and Uncle don't particularly like magic so I'm just grateful not to be there."
Andromeda frowned slightly as she caught what Harry wasn't saying.
"What's he like to live with?" Dora asked curiously, "I can't imagine it."
Harry snorted, "Better than anyone else I've lived with so far."
Dora tilted her head slightly, "Will you have to go home next summer or will you be staying with him again?"
Harry shrugged awkwardly, "I don't think of my Aunt and Uncles as home."
Severus' eyes widened as he internally cursed. That little statement had giant implications. Albus was going to fucking murder him.
"Oh? And Professor Snape's house is?"
"More than my Aunt and Uncles." Harry muttered.
"That's enough of that, Nymphadora." Andromeda cut across her daughter who had opened her mouth to ask another question.
Severus' heart was beating wildly. If the boy didnt think of Tuney's house as home, the wards were fucked. God damn it he was going to have to discuss the guardianship issue with the boy sooner than intended. And call in favours. Lucius' favours but favours nonetheless.
He jumped slightly, caught of guard by a hand slamming down on his shoulder as the cheery face of Ted Tonks appeared behind him.
"Severus! Good to see you! And you brought children! Who might you two be?"
"Ah, Harry Potter, Sir."
Ted's eyes widened slightly as his eyes swivelled towards Severus, who shrugged in response. "He's my daughter's brother."
Ted frowned, clearly attempting to work that one out as he looked down at Hermione. "Andromeda wasn't winding me up?" He breathed, taking her in. "Good gods, Severus, a daughter?" A small slow smile spread over his face, "A Gryffindor daughter?"
"Yes." Severus sighed resigned as the man laughed, clapping him on the shoulder again, "Congratulations! Now, let me tell you about the time I convinced Severus that the niffler I'd hidden in his rooms as a joke was a figment of his imagination."
Fucking arsehole. Severus had blocked that out he was so fucking embarrassed. It had taken waking up with the creature sat on his pillow, staring at him in shock as it tried to remove his watch a week later for him to realise Ted had been taking the piss. Granted it was the year Trelawany had decided to take an interest in him and he had been a tad distracted trying to shake the drunken witch, but really, he should have known better. He had given it back, covertly and Andromeda had shown up at the school two days later, holding the poor creature by its scruff as she marched into the Great Hall and berated him during dinner before she had thrust the niffler at him and threatened his manhood if she ever saw it near her house again. Ted had been clinging to the doorway with tears running down his face he was laughing so hard. Traitorous bastard.
He turned to catch Andromeda looking at her husband with an unidentifiable look on her face. The children were laughing so hard they were gasping as Ted described the things the niffler had got up to over the week.
"Ted?" Andromeda interrupted, her husband stilling as he took in the look on her face.
"Yes, love?"
"Did you or did you not fail to mention that you instigated that particular prank when I left to berate Severus?"
"Ah well…. You see…" Ted's eyes were wide and Severus slowly felt the grin creep over his face.
"Yes, Edward?"
"We'll….it's like this, really….."
"Like what, Edward?"
"He was responsible for the orange hair dye five years ago!" Ted blurted.
Severus' eyes went wide as Andromeda's eyes swivelled to glare at him. Fuck.
"Because you asked me to! You didn't say it was for Andy!"
"It was implied!"
"It was not!"
"Of course it was!"
The children, Nymphadora included, were gasping from laughing so hard as they watched the adults turn into squabbling toddlers.
"Enough!" Andromeda boomed, straightening her spine. "I will of course repay your kindness when you are least expecting it. Blacks do not let such things go unpunished, you should have known I'd retaliate."
"You were a Black?" Harry blurted.
Andromeda frowned, "yes." she replied slowly.
Harry blushed, clearly realising how rude he'd sounded. "Sorry," he muttered, "Severus mentioned Sirius Black. He seemed to think it was unlikely he betrayed my parents, despite what everyone thinks I was just wondering if you knew him?"
Andromeda looked pained for a moment. "He was my favourite cousin." she replied softly, "All brash and Gryffindorish, a bit of a brat truth be told, but with his parents, I cant say im surprised. He was joined at the hip to James Potter, and I must agree with Severus, unless it was a spectacular act for many years, I cannot imagine him giving your parents up, nor can i imagine him embracing the Death Eater mentality, not when he worked so damn hard to escape it. They nearly murdered him you know, in his own home because his mother decided he should be marked and he refused. He was sixteen. I have no idea how he made it to your grandparents, I only know that he did. I cannot imagine him changing his mind a year or two later. That being said, I do not understand what did happen. Madness runs through the Black line, you know, his mother, my Aunt Walburga was clearly affected by it, perhaps it got Sirius in the end. I don't know. I truly wish I did."
"They wanted to mark him at sixteen?" Hermione asked horrified.
"Yes. He was the Heir to House Black, politically powerful had he chosen to be and therefore Voldemort wanted him. His familial ties to just about every other damn House helped too." Andromeda sighed, "I don't want to believe he was responsible for what they're accusing him of but I wasn't there."
"Could you have asked for a trial?"
Andromeda frowned at Harry, "Pardon?"
"Severus said that the rumours were that he'd never had one." Harry answered, shooting Severus a panicked look.
"I thought they were just rumours," Andromeda spoke slowly, looking at Severus, "You believe them?"
"I do not know. It's possible." Severus responded, watching her warily.
"Good Gods, if I had thought for a moment there was any truth in them of course, I'd have fought it." Andromeda had gone pale.
"Sorry, " Harry muttered, scooting closer to Hermione. "I shouldn't have asked."
Andromed shook herself, "No it's fine. I should have asked when I heard the rumours." When Harry still looked unconvinced she smiled gently, "Really, it is not something you need to apologise for. Now why don't you both tell me how you're getting on with all the delightful society Matrons my sister is forcing you to endure?"
Severus winced, making Andromeda's eyes widen.
"We're about to take over," Hermione replied with a vicious smile, "Want in?"
Andromeda choked but Nymphadora sat forward eagerly.
"Take over how?"
Hermione shrugged, "It's not been decided, Grandmother is helping and I've owled some of the people I go to school with. They're all vicious, small minded women and having had to sit though more than one lunch where I was all but told I should thank my lucky stars that a Scion of the Sacred 28 was willing to be in my presence and should therefore ensure that I immediately capitulate to his whims and pop out a Quidditch team of babies, I've decided I don't care for their opinions."
Andromeda snorted, "So you're planning a revolution?" she asked with a grin.
"Why not? The charities need the money they bring, I don't think anyone is arguing that they do a reasonable job of it but that shouldn't mean they get a free pass to make whatever comment the like about those in attendance."
Nymphadora grinned. "Can I come along? I imagine it'd be entertaining."
"With Annalise Fawley? It'll be explosive." Andromeda muttered.
"I'm in!" Dora announced, clapping her hands in excitement, "When do we start?"
Severus groaned, "Hermione if you love me at all you will not let Miss Tonks anywhere near this! She is a menace!"
Hermione grinned, patting his arm consolingly as she turned back to Nymphadora and began entertaining them all by discussing increasingly outlandish plans. Severus was slightly scared that they may not think them outlandish at all. The thought of Annalise and Nymphadora in a room with Hermione was more than terrifying. He privately resolved to keep a very close eye on what his daughter got up to….could he monitor her mail? She'd be furious if she found out but those three we're not a combination he particularly wanted to experience. Beside Hermione, Harry grinned, clearly reading his unease.
Severus dropped Hermione and Harry at the Granger's after the afternoon with Andromeda.
Hermione had grinned at him before he left muttering "Wear jeans and the navy shirt, roll up your sleeves, she wont know what's hit her."
Interfering little witch. Still, he could admit that she seemed to know what she was talking about. He had never had so many compliments on his appearance, perhaps it was time to give in to her and relinquish some of the black. He drew the line at anything bright however and barring the trunks, she appeared to be sticking to darker colours so perhaps he would trust her judgement.
Now he had a whole evening ahead of him and no idea what to do with it. Sighing, he decided that he couldn't bear to drink alone tonight and that meant seeking Lucius' company. If nothing else, his firewhiskey was always of superior quality.