Chapter 85

Raven sat on her bed. She was staring at the wall and the monitor there. She was willing it to show her more of what was going on back at the barracks and the Pits. It was blank. It was off. There was no transmission, and Raven was getting antsy and angry about it. She still had the comm that Palla left there the night before.

They had been watching the fights between all the applicants. Even Palla was amazed at how well Bellamy was doing, but the stand out was Solan. Raven wasn't sure if she remembered him. He was tall and lanky and built like a tank it seemed. He wasn't big like Gustus had been or even Ryder, but he seemed to be able to hold his own. The other thing that drew her attention to him was the fact that Octavia, Echo and Clarke all seemed to be appreciative of him as well. She knew that they didn't want him, but there was something about him that was drawing all of them to him. Raven just wanted to know what it was. But, she was stuck in the hospital in the Village, trying to heal, and she wasn't with her friends.

It had officially been five days since they left, four days since the start of the challenges, and two days since she stood unassisted for more than a minute. She wanted to celebrate with all three of them, but they weren't there. It wasn't that she didn't like Palla, Sam and Meeka, but they hadn't seen Raven when she was at her lowest. They hadn't helped her through all the crap of surviving back on Earth. They weren't as close to her as sisters could be. Clarke and Octavia were her best friends. Echo was her mentor and had claimed her as a little sister. The more Raven thought about that, the more she wondered how old Echo really was.

She was deep in thought when Sam and Palla came in for her morning check up. Palla immediately picked up on her mood. She shared a look with Sam. They were both actually surprised that Raven hadn't already gotten to this point. They just chalked it up to the fact that her surgery went better than Raven thought it would. She felt more. She was doing more without all the pain. Raven was standing and with a minimal brace that Meeka had designed for her. All in all things were going great, but they could tell that Raven was lonely. She wasn't used not being around people.

"Little Bird?" Palla questioned as she moved closer to Raven's bed.

Raven turned and looked into her questioning, dark eyes. She was a having a hard time keeping her emotions in check. She knew that it was because of the surgery. Her body and her mind were at odds. Her hormones were flooding in some instances and lacking in others. She knew that it was normal, but that didn't mean that she had to like it. She was also weaning herself off her pain meds faster than Sam wanted, but she wasn't willing to get addicted. She'd done more with less. She would again.

"Raven?" Sam asked her as she moved closer to her.

Raven turned and looked at her. She could see that Sam was worried about her, so she quickly schooled her features. It was skill that she had gotten so good at that even Palla was amazed at the change in her demeanor and how quick it was.

"What's up, Doc?" Raven questioned without the normal bite in her voice.

"Can I check you over?"

"Yeah, go ahead," Raven answered.

Sam moved down to her leg. She knew that Raven was wearing more comfortable clothing now that she was in the Village. Meeka had scrounged up some clothing for her that was closer to what Skaikru was used to wearing. Thankfully, also the pants that she was wearing were removable above the knee, so it make check ups and bandage changing easier.

Sam removed the lower parts of her pant legs and compared the legs, side by side. She was making mental notes, that she would add to Raven's files later. Raven's leg look good. She was already starting to get more definition in her muscles. She was toning and building it up more with each set of standing exercises that Sam got her to do. She wanted to push her more today, though, but looking at Raven, she wasn't sure that it would be a good idea. Palla and she could only motivate her so much. Echo and Clarke could push her so much more.

"I'm going to check the incisions, now," Sam told her as she started removing the bandages on Raven's leg.

"Okay," Raven answered as she looked down at her leg.

She saw the bandages being removed. She saw that the stitches were close and tight. She knew that the scaring would be minimal, if it could even be seen. She knew that it had been more of Clarke's insistence than Sam's. Clarke wasn't going to let her have a lot of scarring, if she could help, and it looked like she had.

"Everything looks good. We should be able to take most of the stitches out by the end of the week. But, you still need to take it easy. Don't push harder than we ask of you. It is going to take time, Raven. I know that you want to go back to your friends, but I want you to go back in the best that you can. Will you do that for me?" Sam inquired.

"Yes, you know that," Raven stated.

"Good, then get out of the bed and stand up for me," Sam ordered as she dropped the side rail on the bed.

Raven sat up straighter and started to move her legs. Sam was impressed that she didn't need help to spin to get into position now to get up. Her legs were of the edge and she was standing just as Sam moved to her side. She was doing it on her own. She didn't need Sam, but Sam wasn't going to take that chance. Not now, not ever, and never with any of her personal patients.

Raven was up to two minutes or more without any sagging. Sam wanted to push it, but she didn't want Raven to be still. She wanted her to actually try walking without support, just a step or two. If she could do that, then they were heading to the PT room to do more. Meeka was already down the hall waiting for them, but Sam knew that Raven had to want it. And, today, she wasn't sure that it was going to be a good idea. Still, she needed to try.

Raven stood there and waited for Sam to tell her to sit again. She knew that it was working her muscles out, but there was a look in Sam's eyes. She wanted to question it, but she didn't. She wasn't really feeling being talkative today. She would do what she was told, because she didn't want to fall behind in her therapy. She knew that Sam had her best interests at heart, so she would do as Sam asked and no more today. She didn't think that her mind would let her.

"Now, we are going to push things just a little today," Sam told her.

So much for not pushing things today, Raven thought to herself.

"I know that you are missing your friends, but you are actually doing better than I hoped. You're surpassing all the daily goals that I've set for you. So, we're going to try something new."

"Well, I am an overachiever," Raven finally quipped back to her.

Sam and Palla could see her coming back to herself. It was a good start, but they didn't know how long it was going to last. They needed to keep Raven out of her head as much as possible. Palla could already tell how much not having at least one of her friends her with her was weighing on her. She was drawing into herself and closing herself off. They all knew that it was a coping mechanism, but they also knew that Raven was better than that, too.

"I've noticed," Sam replied with a smile.

"So, what we doing today, Doc?"

"We're going to skip the repitition and timed reps of you standing. I want you to try to take a step or two unassisted," Sam told her. "And, before you freak out. You aren't going to be alone, but I want you to try moving your leg, even if it is just dragging your foot across the floor. I need to see what muscles we need to focus on building to get you walking all by yourself."

Raven's mouth dropped open, but she held herself up. Sam took a few steps from her and waited. Raven looked over at Palla, who just smiled and nodded. Raven then dug deep. She wanted this. She wanted to walk unassisted, and now she was being given her chance. She could do this; she kept telling herself that as she tried to make her muscles work. She looked back to Sam, who had her arms out, waiting to help support her, but she wasn't touching Raven at all.

She stood there. She knew that they had been working on her balance, but she wasn't sure what would happen when she tried to move forward. She looked up at Sam and waited for the doc to give her an encouraging nod. When she got it, Raven picked up her bad leg slightly and pushed it forward. It was slow, steady and deliberate, but she moved it. She actually felt it move as she wanted it to move. It wasn't graceful. It was ugly, but she moved her leg. She looked up at Palla, who was smiling.

Raven noticed that she'd moved around the bed to be on the other side of her. Sam was still in front and still encouraging her to keep going. Palla just smiled, happy that Raven was taking her first steps unassisted in years. Raven squared up a little and put weight on the leg. She teetered but she didn't fall. She looked up into Sam's eyes now. Sam nodded and waved her on. She shifted her weight, putting more and more on her bad leg so that she could move her good leg. It took time and effort. She was sweating, but she took a step.

"Okay, good. Stop there. I don't want you to tire yourself out too much, Raven," Sam said as she moved forward.

"You took two steps by yourself, Little Bird," Palla told her enthusiatically. "Clarke and Echo will be proud. Octavia will smile."

"So now what?" Raven asked as she stood there, still unassisted.

"Now, we put you in the chair and wheel you down to the PT room. We'll massage your leg and then put you between the bars. I want to see how many steps you can take if you can shift your weight to you arms. It'll be sort of like on crutches, but the bars will bear most of your weight as needed. This will help retrain your muscles to do all the work. Once you get good at that, the bars will only be there if you need them," Sam told her.

"How long do you think that will be?" Raven questioned.

"It takes as long as it takes, Little Bird. Your body will let you know. You have to listen to it," Palla stated.

"Look, Raven. I honestly don't know. I know that you have been living with a baseline of pain for years now, but you know what that pain level is. I don't. There will be days that you won't want to move, but we will still have to push a little. I won't push you hard those days, but we still need to push through them. Sometimes, your head will tell you that this is all a fairy tale and that you shouldn't be standing let alone walking. On those days, you will struggle, but we will get through them," Sam explained.

"We all want you to succeed, Little Bird. But, most of it is up to you. You have to let us know when the pain is too much. You have to learn when to stop and rest and not push and press on. When we hit those limits, we'll work on your arms and upper body."

"So..."

"Let's go see what you can do, Boomer," Sam said as she turned to the chair from the corner.

Palla stayed right by Raven's side. Raven started to falter just a little. Sam winked at Palla, letting her know to catch her. What Raven didn't know was that Sam was timing her. She'd made five minutes unassisted.

"You're still getting stronger, Raven. That was five minutes of standing on your own. Now, let's get you moving, yeah?"