Chapter 87

It had been two weeks and everything was quiet. Clarke didn't like it. She didn't like it when things were quiet like this. She'd learned early on Earth quietness meant Death was coming. But, then again, she was Death, of the Commander of Death. So in theory, she should have nothing to worry about, but she did. She looked over at Echo and Octavia as they were talking to Palla. She knew that something was going on and she wasn't privy to it. It should bother her, but she was trying to do as her mother and Madi asked. She was trying to step back from leading and just live. The only problem she realized is that she'd forgotten how. Here on Terre Nova in the world of the Village and Helios, Clarke wasn't in charge. She was a mother, a friend, a medic, and an advisor. She laughed. Besides Gaia, she was a Flamekeeper. She would always stand behind her daughter, but it was hard to let the teen lead what was left of their combined nation.

She could tell from where she was standing that Palla was worried, but she didn't know what about. She looked up at the gray sky. She wondered if it meant that the snows would start in earnest over the next few days. She vaguely remembered the first snow that she'd encountered while she was on her own after everything that happened at Mount Weather. It wasn't pleasant, and thankfully, it hadn't last long. It drove her into a cave for three days before it let up enough for her wander to the trading post. Niylah had welcomed her, fed her some sort of stew and a hearty brew that warmed her from the inside out. She'd stayed for two days. Niylah had sent her on her way with a new coat and gloves. She wondered if Helios would get that cold, and if it did, how cold did it get above the wall where the Praha lived?

She was standing outside the barracks and watching as everyone moved. They were ready for the snows. Octavia and Echo were preparing to go back with Palla to her place and work with Raven with her training. This meant that Madi would only have Indra and Bellamy to guard her in their room. She knew that Octavia and Echo wouldn't stand for it, which is why Aeolus was currently moving into Indra's room and Indra was moving down stairs into another apartment with two other guards. Clarke didn't ask why. She just wanted to make sure that her daughter was protected. Gaia was there, too.

This meant that Clarke would be sharing her quarters with just Niylah for the time being. She was opposed to that, but she'd already let Madi know that she could stay over whenever she wanted. Clarke hoped that she would, but then Madi had reminded her about Diyoza moving in because of the baby. Having Abby not only running the clinic, but having Clarke and Niylah there to assist, it was a no brainer for Charmaine to stay with them for when the baby came. Jackson was still on the ship in orbit, maintaining Kane and few of those that Diyoza herself didn't trust. Everything seemed to be moving fast, but they were still taking baby steps with their integration in to the Terran life.

Clarke was glad that she was staying with her mother, too. She was worried about her. She was sober and she was dealing, but there were still times that Clarke could tell that she was suffering. She also knew that it had hurt her mother that Raven had gone to Palla's friends. Thankfully, Palla and Raven didn't tell her that Clarke had helped beyond assisting with the surgery. And, while Abby was upset about it, she was happy with the prognosis that Sam and Meeka were sending back, as per Clarke's plan unbeknownst to Abby. She could tell that her mother was thrilled with the prospects of Raven walking again. So, much so that she was reviewing the notes and the procedures that Sam had been doing with Raven since her surgery. She was also digging into their medical library again to see if there was anything that she could use to help Kane. Clarke knew that it was a good thing. Abby needed a project, and while she didn't have Raven to fully work on, she things that she could do in order to start preparing for Kane. Clarke decided that she'd help her mother with her research. It was the least that she could do since she'd gone behind her back to help Raven in the first place. She didn't fully regret it, but she felt bad about it.

Then, again, she understood everyone's reasoning for coming to her to start helping Raven to begin with. She just wished she knew what was really going on with her friend. She loved Raven, but she knew that there was something deeper at play than the fact that she'd gotten feeling back in her leg. She'd gotten closer to Octavia and Echo, and she'd even become Echo's sekken. Which for Clarke didn't make a lick of sense. Raven wasn't a warrior. She was a planner, a builder, a mechanic, and she liked to make things go boom. Clarke couldn't see her with a sword, slashing and hacking on a battlefield. And, she had been staunchly against ever mounting a horse, so Clarke doubted that she'd ever mount a cabello.

"Nomon?" Madi asked as she came out of her room and down the stairs. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, yungon. Just thinking about all the movements that are happening today in preparations for the snows. Are Octavia and Echo ready to leave?"

"Not quiet yet. They have some last minute training with the newly appointed jusgona. Honestly, I think that they are going to put the fear of Wanheda en Ripas in their heads should something happen while they aren't here," Madi told her. "They are taking their jobs very seriously, but they also understand why I chose them to be our ambassadors to the Village."

"Besides they understand both mindsets of the newly termed Gryfondorkru?"

"Sha, they do. They are both Grounder and Skai. And, as much as they hate it, they understand that we need to have people who understand both in the Village to help make headway for us there. We are the interlopers here, Klark. We must find a way to coexist or there will be just another war. There are so few us left. Our histories are dying out. And, even though Palla is sending her Balt or whatever he is to help record them all, there are things that we will never have again. They've been lost to time and Earth," Madi told her.

"Like Anya?"

"Yes, like Anya," Madi replied. "I only have Lexa's memories of them training together, hunting together, fighting together. But, then there are times that I see how Anya mentored her, mothered her, cared for her, gave her a family when she wasn't supposed to have one. Anya was the one person besides Costia and then you, that she would have given up everything for. I see Anya teaching her to ride a horse and then fight from it. I see her teaching Lexa how to swim, how to climb a tree, how to move silently through the forest. But, then I see Anya becoming a general and a leader of a village of Trikru. I see Anya not being as close, but still supporting heda in everyway that she could. I see that she was one of the first few people to see Lexa awake as heda on her ascension day. She knew that her fos was not longer her trainer as soon as their eyes met. Anya had become her subject, her warrior, her general. She used Anya more than any other general at her disposal because she trusted her more and she knew where Anya's loyalty lied. That is why she was the first general sent to see what mischief you and the hundred were making. That is why she was so mournful when you handed her Anya's braid. She needed Anya to be there for her, to talk to her, to bounce ideas of her, to help her plan and strategize for battle. Instead, she was alone. No matter what happened, Anya never left her side. Titus hated it. But, in the end, he hated you more," Madi explained.

"Anya was special."

"She was, Clarke. She really was. Echo and Octavia remind me of her. Together, they will make the right decisions for our people and the people will listen to what they have to tell us about the Village," Madi stated.

"Why is that?"

"Because they are jusgona and ambassadors. They speak with the authority of Heda in the Village. They also tend to think outside of normal kru thinking. It has saved us all many times. The people know that I trust them both with my life. And, enough of them saw Octavia bow to me before we took the valley. They know that Octavia knows what it means to rule, what it means to be a warrior, but most of all how to fight for peace. Echo was a spy, a warrior, and her undying loyalty to those that deserve it has become the stuff of legends around some of the campfires at night. Who better to go and represent us when we can't be there?" Madi questioned.

"Who better indeed," Clarke quipped.

"You are still sorry that you can't go and stay with them?"

"I want to go, but I know that I need to stay here for Mom and Diyoza," Clarke answered.

"That isn't the only reason that you are staying," Madi stated.

"No, it isn't."

"You don't have to stay for me, Clarke. I have twelve new guards. The settlement is moving along well. We should have most of the foundation set before the snows start in a few days. I've already ordered all the workers back to the barracks to start hunkering down for the Winter. If you wanted go, you could. This place would be crawling with warriors. Besides, do you think that Bellamy would allow anyone near me that wasn't part of our tribe?"

"No, he'd die first."

"He already tried that. It took an order from me for him to stay in the infirmary. He really doesn't know when to stay down," Madi quipped.

"Have you met Octavia? I swear it's in the blood. They are both stubborn to a fault. Octavia just learned to use it to her advantage."

"And, she has your approval."

"He was wrong. He still hasn't fully admitted it, even though Indra beat it into him, I believe at your request. But, also, he is still trying to prove that he is something he's not. He's a guard, possibly a warrior, but he'll never have a full leadership position," Clarke stated.

"Why do you say that?" Madi asked.

"Because he doesn't know when to stop listening to his heart and use his head," Clarke replied.

"And, that is why he can't be jusgona, Clarke. He knows that, but still he wants to prove himself. I am not sure if it is to me, to you, to Echo or even to Octavia, but the chip on his shoulder, as you would say, is large and it is crushing him. Hopefully, we can help him lift some of that burden off him this Winter here. He is a good man, but he doesn't always think things through," Madi said.

"I know."

"I know you know. I know, too. And, honestly, he is still only alive because of you, Echo, and Octavia," Madi replied.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I know of all of his crimes against my people, Clarke. I've seen them through Lexa's eyes. I've heard about them from your words. And, I've watched him with Octavia," Madi told her.

"So, why haven't you ordered his death or something?"

"Because he is still useful. He means well, I know this. But, I also know that Echo and Octavia have taken on the responsibility of making sure he doesn't cause another massacre. Echo threatened to leave him. Octavia only deals with him when she must. And, Indra, well, she's taken a liking to making him suffer for hurting Octavia. Should any of them come to me with a reason, I will end him and they know that. But, they don't even though, I'm sure they have reason to tell me of more crimes and sins against our people, against them, or even against me," Madi said.

"So, why haven't they?"

"Because they love you more," Madi answered and then walked away.