Severus clutched the time turner in his hand, staring at it as he contemplated his next move. He had been distracted the night before by Hermione but now, now he was fucking furious. Coming to a decision that felt foreign but he hoped to hell he didn't regret, he cast a patronus, sending it to Saul. The Department of Mysteries controlled the time turners, surely one of Saul's minions had to have known the Headmaster was handing one over to a fucking third year. Which made him wonder if Saul knew. And if he had…..Severus exhaled loudly through his nose. Hermione adored the man but if he had put her in danger he was going to fucking end him. The thought of Saul obliterating his trust like that made him want to vomit. Surely he didn't know? Despite his perpetual need to push the boundaries people set him, he wouldn't do it at the expense of Hermione's safety would he? Fuck he desperately hoped not.
Saul stepped through his floo, his face creased like he had just woken. Glancing at the clock, Severus realised it was barely six. He had given the children the morning off from their run given the late hour they had returned to their common room, unfortunately, it hadn't meant he'd slept any later.
"You sounded like you were ready to annihilate someone, which seemed rather urgent," Saul yawned. "I do hope you've got coffee, civilised people sleep for at least another hour you know, it's almost the weekend." Severus glared, unable to convince himself that words were wise while Saul stumbled onto the sofa. Clearly noticing the silence, Saul straightened himself from his slump. "Care to explain the summons at too fucking early for a friday o'clock?"
Severus moved his hand, allowing the time turner to dangle from its chain.
Saul's eyes widened, "Why the fuck have you got that?" he barked, all sleepiness gone from his demeanour.
"I confiscated it from my daughter." he bit out. Saul stilled, his mind clearly reaching to make those words make sense. Severus instantly relaxed. "You didn't know," he stated.
Sauls mouth dropped, "How the fuck would I have known, Severus!"
"Your department handles the regulation of time turners."
"How the fuck did she get one then!" Saul all but howled, "No one in the Time room would be so fucking stupid as to give a highly regulated magical artefact to a fucking thirteen year old witch! Why did she even want one!"
"Albus gave her it." Severus said slowly, "So she could take all the electives." He watched with interest as Saul's usually jovial face hardened into an expression he was exceedingly grateful wasn't directed at him. He realised now how the man had ended up in the position he was in. Not that he hadn't known Saul was clever or that he was powerful, one did not end up as the Head of the DoM by being an idiot but the sheer rage that fueled the magic pulsing around him was almost suffocating. Severus almost grinned.
Saul stood abruptly, throwing floo powder into the fire and disappearing in a whirl of green. He was back less than ten minutes later, a ledger in his hand. He flung it onto the coffee table between them before seating himself back onto the sofa, his face utterly blank. After ten minutes of silence, where Severus watched Saul carefully but did not dare speak, a man stumbled as a portkey dropped him directly in front of them.
"Professor Croaker!...And um….Professor Snape?" The man looked at them both with confusion.
"Sit." Saul barked, sounding far more like Severus than his usual self.
The man blanched, almost tripping over himself to comply. "Sir?"
"You will explain to me, Mr Moir, how a time turner came to be in the possession of a thirteen year old witch." Saul said softly, his tone deadly. "You will explain why it is your signature authorising its use. "
The man's eyes widened as Severus' brain finally kicked in, placing him, Bartholomew Moir, Ravenclaw, used to have a reasonable sense of judgement. "I….no! I authorised Professor Dumbledore to use a time turner! He said he was conducting research on the Defence Against the Dark Arts curse and he needed more time to examine some things!"
"Then explain to me why Miss Granger-Snape's name is next to yours."
"Granger-Snape." The man whispered, his eyes flying to Severus'. "I….I don't know for sure," he said haltingly, "But….initial paperwork is usually filed at the DoM, as you know. It shouldn't be able to be changed…..the book is self updating though and I brought the time turner here….I don't think I checked….." he trailed off realising he was rambling mostly to himself.
"You brought the time turner and paperwork here instead of following Department protocol. Department protocol that is in place to prevent things like this happening because you cannot sign a name that is not yours in the DoM. And to top it all off you don't think you bothered to check the paperwork before you handed over a highly controlled item?" Saul sneered, his anger once again palpable as it broke through his mask.
"I….no." the man hung his head. "It was Professor Dumbledore!"
"Indeed. Get out of my sight, Moir. I expect your memories on my desk, you are suspended for a minimum of two weeks in the hopes I calm down long enough not to fucking murder you for putting a thirteen year old witch in danger because you forgot to fucking check the paperwork on a highly controlled item because you fell for Albus' doddering old man act! I'll decide what to do with you after that." The man paled significantly, his eyes flying to Saul's furious face before he nodded and scrambled for the floo. "We are going to see Albus. Now!"
Severus watched in fascination as Saul pulled his crackling magic back into his body, his shoulders stiffening and his face once again blank.
"I doubt he'll be up." Severus offered.
"I do not fucking care!" Saul snarled, increasing Severus' inappropriate urge to grin.
"Very well, you know the way to his office."
"You are remarkably calm." Saul observed.
Severus allowed the humour to drop for a moment as he faced Saul. "No." he said softly, "I am livid but you are currently angry enough for both of us and I must admit to wanting to see Albus shouted at by someone other than me. He pays me not the slightest bit of notice, as you are well aware."
"He pays no one notice, Severus." Saul bit out "Or have you forgotten that Amelia and I warned him we'd be checking up on him after the basilisk debacle?"
Severus let out a long breath. "Then what are we going to do?"
"I am going to shout at him until I feel better, then I intend to find your daughter to reassure myself she's still in one fucking piece. Then….then I am going to contract the Board of Governors and the Minister. Its time someone reminded that absolute fucking twatbager that he is not immune and we have the power to remove him if we have to."
"Twatbager." Severus mouthed silently, before looking at him shrewdly, "Would you be this angry if it wasn't Hermione?"
"No." Saul said shortly, "I'd probably shout at him less, the fact it's her…." he trailed off. "Most people struggle to accept I'm as clever as I am because of my personality. They write me off the moment I open my mouth or act like anything other than the staid, no nonsense Professor they expect me to be….or they decide to ignore the irreverence in the hopes that my position can get them something, not because they like me but because I'm fucking useful to them. I can count on one hand the people who do not. Your daughter is one of them. The fact that shes fucking brilliant certainly helps but its her acceptance of me exactly as I am for no other reason than she apparently quite likes me that makes me love her. I would still be planning to do exactly as I am if it had been anyone else, but I admit I'd be struggling less to convince myself that murder is not a viable option." Saul paused, weighing up what he wanted to say next before continuing softly, "He tried to hurt our girl Severus. And I don't think I'm going to be able to forgive him for that."
Severus nodded shortly, not entirely sure how he felt about Saul claiming Hermione. Despite having known that her adoration of him was reciprocated, it was jarring to hear him voice it. Although…if he thought about it, Saul added yet another layer of protection, and wasn't that exactly what he wanted?
"I swear to Merlin if she starts calling you Uncle Saul, I'm moving us to Australia." he said finally, a small smirk tugging at his lips.
Saul laughed, some of the tension draining from him. "Uncle Saul…." he mused, "I think I like it. I'd prefer Papa, of course, but I'll take what I can get."
"You would." Severus replied wryly. "Saul?"
"Hmmm?"
"Wouldn't it be better to speak to Hermione first to see what Albus actually told her? She must have been given some rules."
Saul paused, considering him. "Probably," he said finally. "But to be honest I'm too angry to speak to her before I shout at him so…."
Severus snorted, "Very well. But do not come complaining to me if she reveals something that makes you wish you'd waited."
Saul shrugged, "There are no rules saying I cannot berate the man twice." With that he swept from Severus' sitting room in the direction of the Headmasters office. "Password?" he asked when he stopped in front of the door.
"Bertie Botts." Severus intoned, watching as the door moved to admit them. "Roly." he called once they were seated.
"Yes, Professor Snape, Sir" The elf squeaked, looking confused.
"Please inform the Headmaster Professor Croaker wishes to see him immediately."
The elves' eyes went wide but he disappeared to comply. Albus arrived quarter of an hour later still in his dressing gown, a move Severus suspected was deliberate to make himself look more vulnerable, as he began blinking slightly confusedly at Saul over the rim of his glasses.
"Saul! To what do I owe this unexpected and early pleasure!" Albus twinkled at him.
Saul stood abruptly, startling him. "You manipulative old bastard!" he growled. "Can you think of any reason I might be here, Albus?"
"I must confess I cannot." Albus said slowly, sitting down behind his desk, watching him warily.
"No? Nothing at all? Nothing that put a student in in fucking danger? Nothing that involved lying to my department? Nothing that involved lying to fucking student you absolutely infuriating fucktrumpet?
"Professor Croaker, if you cannot at least pretend to be civil then this conversation is over!"
"Oh this conversion hasn't even fucking started." Saul growled, "I'm not here in my official capacity, that delightful moment will come later once I've informed the Governors. I'm here because you put my family at risk."
Albus blinked at him. "You don't have family." he said slowly.
"Oh? Are you sure about that dickladle?"
Severus couldn't help himself, he snorted. Dickladle! Saul was just making up insults now. Two sets of eyes snapped to him, so he shrugged. "My daughter has a way of inspiring surprising loyalties." Severus said slowly, noticing the dawning comprehension on Albus' face. "Hermione is rather fond of Saul and as I'm sure you're coming to appreciate, he's equally fond of her. We both know that you won't listen, even if I justifiably lose my temper, so perhaps someone else will get through to you." his voice dropped to deadly, "You put my daughter at risk. You could have fucking killed her. You lied to her, you told her I knew and so help me Albus, I will ensure you get what's coming to you eventually. But understand me very, very clearly. You pull another stunt with one of my children, you put them at any more risk of harm and there will not be enough left of you to bury."
"I could have you fired for threatening me, Severus." Albus stated conversationally.
Saul snorted. Loudly. "Actually, you can't. As you're well aware, it would have to go through the Board. And once I tell them you put his daughter at risk by giving a thirteen year old witch a fucking timeturner without her fathers knowledge….do you really think they'd fail to understand why he felt the need to threaten you, Albus?"
Albus gaped for a moment. "Miss Granger is an exceptionally capable witch, I did not see the need to limit her options."
"Miss Granger-Snape is indeed a capable witch" Saul agreed, his voice low, "Which is why instead of wasting her fucking time on Divination and Muggle studies she'll be beginning her apprenticeship with the DoM."
"Something against muggle studies, Professor Croaker?" Albus asked disingenuously.
"For a witch with two muggle parents? Abso-fucking-lutely. Its a waste of fucking time."
Albus sighed, "Are we done, Gentlemen?" he asked pointedly, "I have to get ready for breakfast."
Severus moved quicker than he thought possible, catching Sauls arm as the man almost lunged forward. "You completely heartless cockwomble!" he howled, "Do you actually give a fuck that you could have killed her?"
"If she stuck to the rules there was no chance of that." Albus said serenely, even as his eyes tracked Saul warily.
"Rules! Fucking rules! Grown fucking wizards sometimes get caught out with the rules! And you…you absolute arsebasket! You can hardly lecture anyone on the fucking rules! You lied to the fucking Department of Mysteries to obtain the gods damned time turner, because you knew, you fucking knew we'd say no. So you worked around it and you put Hermione at risk!"
"Saul." Severus murmured, genuinely wondering if he'd have to help bury a body before breakfast as he fought to keep a rein on his own anger. If he gave in and matched Saul's, they'd definitely be burying a body. And sadly, Albus would not be inconspicuous in his absence. It was probably best not to murder him. No matter how much he wanted to. Not that he'd have a choice if he lost his grip on Saul who thankfully appeared to forget he had a wand and could just hex the bastard. "Saul!" Saul stopped struggling and turned to look at him.
"What?" he snarled.
"Let's go and see Hermione. I do not want to explain to her why you're in Azkaban."
"As if I'd be fucking caught." Saul muttered before visibly forcing himself to relax. "We will be back with the Board and I will be informing the Minister, you complete shitgibbon. I swear to all the Gods, Albus, stop this. Stop it now or I'll have you removed from this school, the Wizengamot and ICW. I will fucking ruin you. And if anything happens to Hermione….well Severus won't be annihilating you alone. It would be….unfortunate…if you stumbled across an artefact you shouldn't and you simply….blew up…."
"I do not appreciate being threatened." Albus spoke, his voice harder than Severus could remember hearing it for a very long time.
"And I do not appreciate you repeatedly putting students at risk for whatever the fuck you're scheming." Saul replied scathingly.
"Saul. Let's go. Severus reiterated, feeling uncomfortable at being the voice of reason. Especially when he wanted to say fuck it and join Saul. Amelia would probably murder him though if she had to bail them out of Azkaban and Cissa….and Hermione, now he thought about it. Why the fuck was he surrounded by terrifying women?
Saul glared at Albus one more time before storming from the office.
"When will you learn?" Severus sighed before he too exited the office, lengthening his strides to catch up with Saul. "Where are you going?"
"Breakfast has started." Saul said simply, refusing to slow down.
The Great Hall was bustling, each table almost full. Saul strode in, his eyes scanning the tables, before settling on Hermione.
"Hermione, darling!" he called, the entire hall going immediately silent as he bustled down between the tables to reach her. Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, seeing Minerva half stand, clearly wondering what the hell was going on now. Hermione's nose crinkled in confusion, even as her eyes lit up.
"Saul!"
"Hello, darling girl," he murmured, pulling her from the bench to hug her.
"Are you alright, Saul?" she asked softly, concern taking over her face.
Sauls shoulders dropped, "Not entirely." he seemed to gather himself, " However your father suggested it was time you called me Uncle Saul, you know, so perhaps today is looking up."
Severus scowled, even as Hermione smiled, both students and staff watching the exchange with interest. Many of them hissing at their neighbours, asking who the hell that man was. Saul purposely pitched his voice louder, just as Albus walked into the hall. "Now, darling, what is this about the Headmaster giving you a time turner?"
Severus winced as he heard Minerva's gasp above the sudden swelling of noise as the students reacted to that question.
"Ah." Hermione winced. "Are you as annoyed as Father was?"
Saul's face softened, "Worried, darling girl, worried. Have you any idea what could have happened if something had gone wrong? They are heavily regulated for a reason, Hermione. I'm not saying I wouldn't trust you with one, but I wouldn't want you using one alone for a very long time. Time is….delicate. And the risks are huge. It's fascinating, my favourite area of study but the thought of you anywhere near it unsupervised is terrifying. It could have killed you, darling. There is no class worth that." Hermione nodded, throwing her arms around him as Saul pulled her close, the relief that she really was ok clear on his face. "Please do not ever scare me like that again, Hermione." he murmured. "Or your father. He'd be devastated if anything happened to you."
Hermione nodded, pulling back. "Of course….Uncle Saul." She grinned when Severus groaned.
"I'm beginning to think you truly do hate me, my girl."
Hermione laughed, her jaw dropping slightly as her eyes flew to the staff table where Minerva had her wand pointed at the Headmaster.
"Fuck." Severus muttered, almost running to stop the witch murdering the infuriating man. She couldn't go to Azkaban, who would supply the decent whiskey?
"A time turner! A time turner! The lass is thirteen!" Minerva was screeching, "What the bloody hell were you thinking ye mad auld git! Ye could hae kilt her! How many ither students hiv ye pit at risk like this?
The students were back to gaping, silently straining to hear the Headmasters answer.
"Minerva." Albus began soothingly, keeping his eye on her wand, "Surely we can discuss this somewhere more private?"
"Private! Private! No! We will discuss this now!"
"Min." Severus said softly, reaching for her arm. Really, how the fuck was he the voice of reason this morning? It was his bloody child the bastard had put at risk! And yet….he sighed, he still couldn't let Minerva murder him. Not with witnesses anyway. "Lower your wand Min. Saul's going to call the Board and the Minister. We cant have the students witnessing a murder over breakfast, even if he would deserve it"
Minerva seemed to deflate as she remembered her surroundings. "There had better be a robust investigation," she said, her eyes landing on Saul as her voice carried in the silent hall.
Saul nodded, "Believe me, there will be." he replied grimly, his arm still wrapped around Hermione's shoulders.
Minerva nodded, sitting back down and resuming her breakfast like nothing had happened. Albus gingerly sitting in his own seat, his eyes still watching her warily. Severus sighed, sitting down beside Minerva, about to ask an elf to bring an extra chair when he saw Saul squeeze himself between Hermione and Theo, beginning to help himself to breakfast. Hermione threw him an exasperated look making him smirk. Perhaps there were upsides to Saul after all. Hermione rolled her eyes, turning back towards her breakfast, Harry giggling at her other side as his eyes landed on Theo's pout.
Severus groaned when he finally sunk down onto the sofa. It had been an unreasonably long and taxing day. All of the students were unsettled after the morning's drama, Albus had sequestered himself away in his office and the staff were visibly upset at having their faith in the man shaken. The only saving grace was that Saul had left him after breakfast meaning the only anger he had to manage was his own. Not that that was proving easy. He almost wished he had given in to the urge and hexed Albus when he had had the chance. Instead he had had to manage every other fucker and he was left seething. His horror at the position Albus had put Hermione in only seemed to grow over the course of the day and he had had to forcibly restrain himself from checking in on her just to make sure she was alright.
He groaned as his all too short reprieve was interrupted and Saul once again stepped out his floo. "What now?" he groused.
"The Board and the Minister will be here on Monday to consider what to do with Albus." he paused, "Bill Weasley and Violet Edwards will be here shortly to discuss whether or not we can attempt the removal process."
Severus blinked. Fuck. He had fucking forgotten. How the fuck had he managed to forget? He did not need this today. He really just wanted some fucking peace. Was that too much to ask? Had the day not been fucking painful enough? "Let me call Lucius," he said faintly.
Saul nodded, "I would suggest you do it quickly."
Lucius stepped out the floo seconds before Bill and Violet.
"Mr Weasley, Unspeakable Edwards."
Violet grinned, "Professor. How's that terrifying girl of yours? I hear she put you to bed, you stubborn old bat." Bill visibly grimaced, clearly awaiting his explosion, Violet carried blithely on, turning to him. "Did Saul tell you? We removed an unbreakable vow and the stubborn sod walked to the fucking lift and took the floo home."
Bill gaped, "That's not possible."
Saul snorted, "And yet he did it. Stubborn does not even come close to describing this one. Now. Can we do it this weekend?"
Bill sighed, "I need to run some diagnostics. In theory, yes, the goblins apparently researched the Mark before at the request of Regulus Black. I have their notes, they never actually attempted it, Regulus died before they could but they think that with some careful….pulling apart, the Mark could be removed. However it won't be pleasant and I cannot guarantee a quick recovery."
Saul nodded, "It's up to you."
"Do your diagnostics and take it from there. I have no wish to have Christmas ruined, nor do I wish to deal with Jean bloody Granger complaining. Did I tell you she informed me I was hosting this year?"
Saul snorted, "I bloody love that woman." Bill blinked, unsure as to what to make of this dynamic.
"Your partner, Sir?" he asked cautiously, "She could be here for support….." he trailed off as Saul howled.
Severus rolled his eyes. "My daughter's mother. Shes muggle and fucking terrifying. However much she'd likely enjoy my pain, I don't think her being here would be wise."
"Daughter?" Bill asked helplessly, having clearly misunderstood who Violet had been speaking about before. Severus almost laughed, he wasnt sure if it was funny or insulting how fucking surprised everyone was that he had a child. It was probably insulting really if he thought about it too long but the look on Weasley's face was amusing.
"Yes." he said blandly, "You might have heard of her. Hermione….rather good friends with your youngest brother."
Bill frowned, "Hermione Granger? Ron said she was a muggleborn."
"And she thought she was. She was adopted after her biological mother made the decision that parenthood was not for her without informing me." he replied caustically.
"Oh." Bill replied faintly, "She could be here you know? I'd quite like to meet the girl who puts up with my brother. He mentioned her quite a bit over the summer….although he missed out that she was yours! You'd think that would be notable really, not that he's the most reliable source of information. I gather she was….kind to Gin after the issues last year."
"I have no wish for her to see me in the state I was in during the vow removal" Severus replied, a slight hint of panic in his voice. He turned to Saul and Lucius, levelling a glare at them. "You will let neither of them in, am I clear?"
Lucius rolled his eyes, "We'll wait until you've stopped screaming, don't worry."
"Not at all!" Severus snarled.
"Don't be absurd, they'll want to check on you and we both know they're capable of extreme mischief to get their own way. So once you're calm we'll let them in."
Severus sighed, unable to argue. Fucking reckless Gryffindor children. He wouldn't put it past them to fucking break in. A brief, if insane, image of his children bargaining with the Giant Squid and arriving through the window under the lake danced through his head. They were prone to ridiculous decisions….was the squid bribable? He didn't really want to find out. "Fine." he snarled, "But if you traumatise them further, you're paying Andy."
"Do you want Amelia here?" Saul asked with a twinkle in his eye ignoring his comment.
"Absolutely fucking not."
"Too bad." Amelia's voice appeared from the floo. "Someone other than your children should probably put you to bed this time, you scared them half to death after the vow removal."
Saul snickered at the indignant look on Severus' face. Beside him, Bill and Violet were clearly struggling to contain their smiles.
"If I could have your arm, Professor." Bill spoke with only the slightest shake of laughter.
"Fucking arseholes, the lot of you." Severus growled, "When was my life overtaken by interfering busybodies?"
"Oh be quiet, you bloody grump." Amelia bit out, sitting next to him and taking his free hand. "Go on, do as you're told."
Severus glared, thrusting his left arm at Bill muttering about interfering, insufferable witches. Bill grinned but ducked his head, running his wand over the Mark in various sequences, a small floating diagnostic that Severus couldn't make head nor tail of appearing beside him. Saul and Violet were staring at it with avid interest.
"So if we start there, " Saul was muttering, "before we move onto that one….."
"That's what the goblins theorised." Bill agreed. "It's going to hurt like a bitch though."
"I imagine that one will be worse," Violet replied softly, pointing at a line that made all of them wince. Fucking wonderful. Because that's exactly what he needed to see. Amelia squeezed his hand tighter.
"You don't need to do this." she said softly, her eyes apprehensive.
"Yes. I do." he stated firmly. "I need to do it so it can never be used against me again. If we are not quick enough….if we do not get them all….I need to know i can keep my children safe."
Amelia sighed, dropping her head to his shoulder. "I don't like it."
"You do not have to stay."
"So I can just worry about you elsewhere? How on earth is that better?" she asked incredulously. Severus froze, still unsure how to feel about the idea of mattering to someone.
They were interrupted by Violet. "We have a plan of attack."she stated, "It's going to hurt, worse than the vow so for the love of Merlin, Professor, just allow yourself to pass out this time." She raised her wand, transfiguring his armchair into an approximation of a hospital bed. "On the bed."
He stood and walked over to it, hating that both Amelia and Lucius tracked his movements, the worry clear on their faces.
"Right, Professor. Saul, Violet and I will be working simultaneously. There'll be wards up, Lord Malfoy and Madam Bones will need to stay outside them, we're not sure if there'll be repercussions."
"Repercussions?" Amelia asked faintly, her face pale.
"The magic might fight back." Bill replied bluntly."
"Fucking wonderful." Severus muttered, "What's to stop it fighting you?"
Saul snorted, "Did you think the uniform of the DoM was just for show? Now let us get dressed, you get comfy, we'll tie you down and then we'll begin. Try not to fight it, if you give in, then you should be well enough to appreciate Lady Fawley decimating Albus on Monday"
"Tie me down?" he asked, horrified.
"Ah yes….in case you fight back."
Severus closed his eyes and attempted to remember why he was doing this. "Very well."
"Wonderful, I knew you were secretly kinky. Won't be a mo!" he moved before Severus was able to hit him.
It was more than a little disconcerting to be surrounded by three faceless people in Unspeakable robes, their hoods up, gauntlets on. Especially as he was fucking strapped to a bed unable to move.
"Let us begin." he heard a voice say, he thought it might have been Saul but his brain didn't seem to be working as well as he'd like. Had they given him something? Fucking arseholes, they better not have. When the fuck had they given him it? And how had he not noticed? He was just beginning to ponder how he'd get Saul back for drugging him when the pain engulfed him. He barely got his occlumency shields up in time. This made the last time feel like a fucking tickle. He wanted to scream, beg….just fucking move, anything to make it fucking stop. Something suffocating was rushing around them, like black fog, moulding to the shape of the bubble they'd created to ward them all inside. As the fog became denser, he vaguely registered slightly panicked voices that were in no way reassuring and the pain increasing tenfold. He wanted to crawl out his own skin, although given the pain, perhaps someone was helping with that and removing it from him. Really fucking slowly. Someone was screaming. He wasn't sure, but he thought someone might also be crying. The fog was so thick he couldn't see anything beyond it and then, just as he thought he might die from the pain….blissfully, there was nothing.