II

A Trail of Cigar-Butts

"Well, cousin or not..." grunted Fone Bone, as he climbed over the lump of rocks high up the cliff, "...when we get back to Boneville...Phoney's gonna have to face the music by himself!" HE let out an even loud grunt as he pulled himself further up a steep ledge, the footing becoming less frequent as he neared the top.

"I've HAD it!" he wheezed, trying not to look down, even as the weight of his knapsack threatened to pull him off. "From now on, he can outrun angry mobs, an' fall off cliffs without my help!

"I mean..." With a slight pitter-patter of his feet to boost his energy, Fone Bone prepared to jump the protruding rock above him, "...what kind of a patsy does he take me for? URNF!" and jump he did, barely grabbing hold of the rough surface. "W-Whoooaaa!" he exclaimed, his heart leaping in his stomach as he felt his feet momentarily swing midair before they found a perch, however slippery and insecurely steep. Breathing heavily, he scrambled and kicked as he tried to pull his entire body over an even larger lump of the cliff, clawing at dirt and stone with his stubby little fingers.

Almost there. He was almost at the top. He can practically feel the ledge within reach.

"It's always..." he panted furiously, before imitating Phoney's grumpy tone, "'Fone Bone, you gotta save me!,' or... 'Fone Bone, you gotta help me!' Why I oughta––" His hand eventually scrambled and gripped the rugged ledge of the top. Relieved, he managed to pull himself up, hoping to find his cousins waiting for him. Instead...

"Hey!" Fone Bone exclaimed, staring at the looming glens in front of him. "How'd I get so close to the mountains?!" He pulled himself up, looking frantically around. "Where IS everybody? Where's the locusts?!" Turning around, his jaw dropped and his panic spiked. "HUH?! NO WAY!" he cried out. "Ohmigosh! I climbed up the wrong side of the gulley! PHONEY! HEEELP! YOU GOTTA SAVE ME!"

But even when he was on the wrong side of the trench, he couldn't see his cousins on the right one either. They were no where in sight. He was as alone up top as he was down at the bottom.

"Oh, no," he groaned, starting to run along the ledge. "I don't see 'em! This is bad! This is really, really bad! PHONEY! SMILEY! HEY!"

His voice echoed across the canyons. And just like before, there was no answer but his own.

Feeling lost and alone, Fone Bone could only stare out into the desert. He didn't know what to do. For all his big talk of wanting to go out on his own without Phoney nagging at every second of his life...Fone Bone was really scared of being alone. He never wanted to admit it, not even to himself, because heavens knew that he already knew that both Phoney and Smiley would remind him of it every time he would try to argue otherwise, but he was.

Because the truth was, he had never been out on his own before.

The young Bone just stood there, completely at a loss. Then a stub caught the corner of his eye. Glancing down near his feet, he reached down to pick it up. "A cigar butt!" he said, before looking ahead. "And another one!"

Running up the hill, feeling the heat of the sun on his back, Fone Bone quickly realized that he was picking up a trail of cigar butts. Which meant that Smiley was here before him!

"Jeez," he said softly, plucking the next stub as eagerly as a kid on the hunt for colored eggs, "I hope Smiley doesn't run out of cigars before I catch up with him."

The Bone creature ran up the hill, following the cigar butt trail.

A large shadow followed in the glare of the sun, large floppy ears perked and curious.

The heat of the desert beat down on him more heavily than ever as he continued to climb up the slope at the mountain's foot. The cigar butt trail had ended while ago, yet he had been hoping to run into either of his cousins eventually.

No such luck. The trail just kept going on and on and on and on––

"Huh...huh...huh...HUFF!" Dizzy and parched, Fone Bone collapsed on the ground, dropping his knapsack aside as he flopped. The sweat started to sting his eyes and the world continued to swim, but ahead of him he could see a flatter open trail guarded by pillars of rock and boulders leading to...wherever. In that moment, he was tempted to groan and bemoan like Phoney would..but he wasn't that far gone. "Where th' heck are those guys?" he panted. "We're goin' straight into the mountains!"

Fone sat up and leaned against the rock, pulling out the old map for a look. He tried to wipe the sweat out of his eyes, which were growing heavy with exhaustion. "I hope I can catch up to them before it gets dark," he said. "The last thing I want to do is spend the night out here by myself!" Then he let out a large yawn. "...Of course, after a day like today, it's hard to imagine anything worse could happen..."

Yawning again, Fone Bone drifted to sleep.

Darkness. The night was cool. The crescent moon had risen. Two shadows lurked in the darkness.

"Light the torch."

Torch was lit, revealing two large, hairy beasts with with ape-like arms, razor-sharp taloned hands, horn-shaped ears and round buglike eyes. The little white mammal was fast asleep. He had been for hours, without so much as a stir or a snort. The creatures crept closer.

"...Is it him?" one of them hissed. "Is it the one we seek?"

"...I cannot tell...Look for the star on its chest..."

One of the hairy creatures lifted the Bone's arm.

"...No star...This isn't the one..."

"...No...It is not he...Very well...Kill it...It will be our supper..."

"Who's gonna be your supper?"

"HISSSS!" The creatures hissed and recoiled as a new voice––a deep, baritone voice––spoke up as a pair of eyes lit the darkness, reflecting the torch fire's light.

"Go away!" hissed the creature holding the torch, while the other snapped, "Do not meddle in affairs that are too big for you, boy!"

In response, an enormous body, larger than the creatures, with a scaly hide of blazing scarlet rose in the light of the torch. Despite his tall flopped ears with bristly tuffs like the threadlike gruff on his chin, a tiny pinprick of a cigar sticking out of the corner of his mouth, the reptilian beast stood over the sleeping white mammal as he glared down at the shocked creatures.

"Wh' you callin' boy?" the great red dragon rumbled daringly.

...

Fone Bone had woken up at the sound of a high-pitched shriek, the thumping of a heavy half-lit stick trailing a thin line of smoke from a dying flame, and the sound of a raspy squeal sounding something like "...The big red dragon...!"

Am I dreaming? Fone Bone thought drowsily.

Then the rest of the flame went out, darkness smothering the area again.

Darkness? When did it become nighttime? "Oog..." Groaning, Fone Bone rubbed his eyes. "I must've fallen asleep. Where am I?"

"You awake?"

"Huh?!" Fone Bone just about jumped out of his skin as a new voice spoke up. It was deep and powerful, yet somehow calming with its rumbling dipthong like the thunderous roaring sound of a waterfall. "Who's there?"

"You got a light?"

"...Smiley? Is that you?" There was only one other person Fone knew who would constantly ask him that question…but this voice was deep and thunderous, contrary to Smiley's nasally higher-pitch. Convinced of this, Fone Bone sighed in relief. "Oh, boy, am I glad you're here! Hold on, I've got a match in my bag." Digging through his bag in the dark, his fingers searched for the spare match. "Sounds like you got a really bad cold, cuz!" he said. "Must be all those cigars you smoked and tossed! I keep telling you to break out of that bad habit, but I guess now I'm glad you didn't. Here!" Find one, Fone lit the match.

Scritch!

"Still," said Fone, focusing the little flame on the cigar as it lit the darkness, "after this I really think you oughta lay off the––" Glancing up, his words seized up in his throat when a big red, beastly face with lazing glowing eyes stared back…and in another instant, the flame blew out, swallowing Foen Bone into darkness and shock. "AHHHH!"

"Thanks for the light," the deep voice said with a breath of tobacco.

"Don't mention it," said Fone Bone numbly, his mouth moving on its accord.

There was silence.

What the heck?! Hands shook uncontrollably as Fone Bone dove back into his bag, found another match, and lit it with a Scritch!

"Hello?" Holding up the newly lit match, Fone Bone looked around frantically. "Hello?"

He was alone, greeted with nothing but dirt and rocks. Seconds later, the light on the match dissipated. Hearing nothing, seeing nothing, Fone Bone felt himself plop back on his tush, completely at a loss. What was that beast smoking Smiley's last cigar? And it talked back to him! Was he dreaming?

His stomach grumbled. The young Bone slouched miserably. Oh, man! he thought. I gotta quit goin' to sleep on an empty stomach!

...

Once the shock had passed, the chill of the night quickly caught on and the Bone started to shiver. Digging into his bag, he pulled out his spare blanket and bundled up, his teeth chattering in the darkness.

Sweltering hot in the day, icy cold in the night! Fone Bone thought to himself as he shivered throughout the night. Why did it have to be one or the other out here? He hated the desert!

And he hated Phoney Bone for being the reason behind this situation he was in!

But still...

Still shivering, Fone Bone looked up toward the moon, the only light around the area. His cousin Smiley would say it looked like a Bone face gaping down at them, while Phoney would scoff and claim that it looked more like a nickel, a dime, a quarter, or even a silver dollar.

To Fone, the moon looked like many things: a face, a sand dollar, a compass, a white sun, a white whale called Moby Dick…

I miss Boneville.