Chapter Eight: Glass

Rose

My grandfather held my hand in his with a firmness that reminded me he wasn't just my Dede; he was the King and the most powerful man in any room. Yet, he was gentle in the way he pulled me along despite my reluctance to join him in another history lesson. Any other day, I could bear it. I liked spending time with him even when it was on official lessons concerning my future role of Crown Princess and later Regnant Queen. But Mason had been sent to Pavel for punishment having indulged me once again in my mischief. I wanted nothing more than to go to my room and drown in my guilt and selfish nature. However, Dede was known for his own punishments disguised as lessons. I knew this trip down memory lane was leading up to something more important that would either leave me feeling worse or help me grow up.

"So Charles V sent an agent to your ancestor, Barbarossa, and offered him the lordship of North Africa in exchange for his loyalty or be killed if declined. Barbarossa killed the agent before the words left his mouth." My grandfather stopped in front of a portrait of an aforementioned ancestor. Stories like this, he knew, kept me entertained usually, but I was in a foul mood irritated by my mother's wish to control me and sending Mason to be punished instead of me. "You are far away today, Rosie."

Not even his use of my rare nickname lifted my spirits. He was more informal when it was the two of us, which was what I loved about him the most. "I'm sorry, Dede," I sighed and shrugged. If my mother were there and saw me speak and act this way, she might have sent me to Pavel this time for disrespecting His Majesty. "I'm just not in the mood today."

"Is this because of the boy?" Grandfather tugged on my hand taking me past all the portraits seeming to conclude our lessons for the day.

"He's not just a boy, Grandfather. Mason is my dear friend," I protested gently. "And it's my fault he's being punished. I just wanted to have some fun, and Mother…"

"Your mother is doing the best she can to raise you into what you are supposed to be," Grandfather pushed the double doors leading to the throne room open. "While your heart is gentle and noble for worrying about Mason, I think the time has come for you to know he has taken The Promise. He is your sworn protector and will give his life, if needed, to protect you. Taking the punishment is part of the job. He is supposed to protect you from any threat including yourself, and he failed. He must be trained to be the best of the best for your sake."

"Oh Mason," I shook my head; I knew he would soon be a member of my guard, but I didn't know he had taken The Promise. The Promise was a vow all guards took to protect the Royal Family with their lives; to give up a normal life and dedicate theirs to the success of the monarchy. It was a life sentence that left no room for family or happiness. Mason was so young to take on such a burden. We were all so young to have our futures already planned out. I wished he had told me. "Why is his life worth less than mine? Why must he give up his own for mine? As a ruler, shouldn't we protect our subjects?"

"One life compared to thousands upon thousands that depend on us for guidance, Rosie, is a sacrifice we must accept." My grandfather signaled to the vast and grand room built centuries ago by our family. "We are more than wealth. We were not picked simply because of our riches or pure blood. We were chosen centuries ago because the country was built by Mazurs and has prospered with us in power. We must continue what our ancestors started. Do you think the history lessons on your great-great-great grand uncle are useless? We learn from the past; not only from the success but from the mistakes as well, so that the future will be brighter for your subjects. In this room, many people have come seeking justice from the monarch. In this room, we have made history. You will make history as the first Regnant Queen in centuries, and there is pressure not just on you, but everyone around you to give you the guidance and wisdom that you need to be one of the greatest queens Turkey has seen."

The room felt smaller then. My grandfather's words were like an earthquake making the walls shake, and the ceiling to crumble. The air thinned around me, and I was sure I would die then crushed by responsibilities trusted upon me on my birth as I left my mother barren. I was a difficult pregnancy and even worse when I was delivered. They said my mother lost a lot of blood and weeks after my birth she kept bleeding. Doctors had no option but to remove her womb, and left her unable to bear other children. If she had been able to have more, a son perhaps, I would be skipped over in the line of succession instead my younger brother would have been King. I could have had a normal life, but destiny had other plans. God had other plans. Who was I to refuse a higher calling?

"So you're saying I need to grow up?"

"Yes, perhaps a bit of growing up will do you some good." He chuckled caressing my cheek with the back of his hand. "But more importantly, learn. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from mine and your fathers."

"Even my great-great-great grand uncle?" I said without humor knowing that my grandfather was right. I had to learn.

Generations upon generations before me ruled as Kings and Queens leaving a trail of success and failure. Maybe I had my grandfather's gentler heart compared to my father, but Dede lived in fear. He was wise, but he was afraid of failure that same failure he encouraged me to learn from. Remembering him and his lessons were the reasons I couldn't bear listening to the great Lords and Ladies discuss genocide. Threats were made against my family, and there was no doubt now that the witches were responsible for my grandfather's demise. But I couldn't stand the thought of punishing all for the sins of few. If I allowed it, I would be no different from my father who felt that war was a solution, or like my grandfather who was compliant with witch hunts afraid of angering his subjects, but in the process angered powerful beings.

I felt my cheeks redden a bit when I finally sat down as my father changed the subject to my birthday celebration. Eyes still lingered on me from the council even as they answered my father's questions and demands. Some of them looked at me with disdain. The only reason I had been indulged long enough to speak was that the King allowed it. I should have known Father didn't want me to stay silent. He knew I wouldn't. Was he allowing me to be more in control of how and when I joined politics? I wouldn't put it past him this was the reason he brought me to this session. But why would he pair me with Dimitri Belikov? Why would he permit a foreigner to work with me on Turkish politics? The other half of the council that wasn't glaring at me was glaring at him I was sure.

Throughout the whole session, I felt his presence behind me like a comforting blanket over my shoulders in winter. I hated feeling so at ease with him in the room but at the same time so uncomfortable. I wondered what he thought of me standing up so abruptly and speaking out of turn. Did he think I was rude? Or was he proud of me? I was too afraid and proud to look back and find out. Besides, what did I care what he thought of me? I should have been content enough to see a few members of the council supported me. Dimitri Belikov was leaving soon and his opinion was irrelevant. Yet, after the session was over, I found myself looking for him. I felt bad for making him feel more of an outsider than he already was. It wasn't going to be easy to get the council to listen to me, so all the help I could get would be welcome. I only hoped his status as a foreign diplomat wouldn't undermine my goal. I had to speak to him and soon, so we could devise our plan and perhaps I could find the words to apologize without mending the distance I was determined to keep between us.

Members of the council stood up to shake hands with me, and congratulate me on my first official task. I smiled politely and thanked them, but my eyes searched the room for his brown ones and his silk-like hair. I looked for his prominent figure standing tall over all the old, hunched over members of the council.

"Your Highness," Lady Ariana made way through the crowd. She was like Lady Tatiana demanding respect with her mere presence. But unlike Lady Tatiana, Lady Ariana wasn't constantly meddling in my upbringing or grooming me to be a proper wife for her nephew. If I was going to choose an ally, Lady Ariana would be the top choice; I always liked her. She was younger than most but still old enough to be my mother. Her eyes reminded me of honey and her smile was kind. I saw pride in it; the kind of pride and motherly love I wished my mother would allow herself to show me. Lady Ariana paused in front of me to curtsy before extending her hand out for me to shake. "That was brilliant, Your Highness. I am very honored to be here and witness the rise of our future Queen. I expect great things from you, and if you ever need anything, I am at your service."

"Thank you, Lady Ariana," I nodded and gave her a genuine smile. "You are too kind. I am still learning, but I am very excited to be able to work with highly esteemed members of the council such as yourself. I might take your offer and come to see you soon."

"I look forward to it," Lady Ariana curtsied again. "Your Highness, have a pleasant day and good luck."

When she was gone, I thought that would be the end of the pleasantries, and I could perhaps finally find a moment to talk to Dimitri as the room began to clear out. My father stood nearby having a conversation with Lady Tatiana. Behind them was Pavel speaking to Dimitri. My eyes locked on his, and somehow I knew that even though I couldn't see him, his eyes had never left me. I felt goosebumps all over my arms and my stomach twisted. But before I could take a step towards him, Lord Dashkov called out to me.

"Your Highness!" He said cheerfully waving above the departing crowd. "A word with you alone please?"

"Of course," I glanced one more time to Dimitri, whose conversation never stopped and his eyes remained on me. Mason suddenly appeared behind me as I moved towards Lord Dashkov. "Not necessary, Mason. We're in the safest place in Turkey besides the palace. You can stay here."

"I'm afraid I have orders never to leave you out of my sight, Your Highness," Mason replied with his hands behind his back and standing tall always proud to be my guard. I saw his Promised mark peeking from his collar. The Promised mark was tattooed on the right side of his neck, and it looked like a snake, the sigil of our family. Looking at it, I always felt guilt settling painfully in the pit of my stomach and my palms got sweaty imagining Mason, Eddie, and Grant charging into battle for me.

I swallowed the knot in my throat and instead rolled my eyes masking my dread with annoyance. "Look at him," I pointed to Dashkov struggling to get past the crowd. Unlike Lady Tatiana and Lady Ariana, the crowd didn't part for him. It was like he was invisible. Such a fragile man was one of the richest lords of Turkey yet he held little power in Parliament. I could almost feel bad for him if he wasn't the one calling for genocide. "He's so… harmless. No knives or spells up his sleeves trust me. Stay here. Come find me in twenty minutes. I'll need you to save me from a boring conversation."

Mason hesitated but complied standing still as I walked away from him and met Lord Dashkov halfway. As I approached, the crowd parted and curtsied as they finally exited. Lord Dashkov bowed as he greeted me.

"I have something for Her Majesty," he extended his arm out to me. "It is in my office. If you would be so kind as to come with me, and I would appreciate having a conversation on the way there about our tasks."

"Of course, Lord Dashkov." I took his arm and followed him out. I wasn't sure who was helping who up to the steps, but a few agonizing minutes later we were in the hall heading towards his office. He started talking as soon as we left the room about what a historic moment it would be when he and I presented our ideas and plans to the council.

"One of us will shape the future generations," he said excitedly then seemed to realize what he said was out of line. "Of course, you will have far more impact than me. I am but your simple servant, Your Highness."

"You are very important as well, Lord Dashkov," I said politely pushing the door to his office open. "You either pass or abolish our laws. You help monarchs find right from wrong. We couldn't do it without you."

"You are too kind to this old man, Your Highness," Lord Dashkov bowed. "I have served under two monarchs, and I have yet to hear such high praise from. I do understand our beloved King Idris and King Ibrahim are very different from you. They are men with firm hands and firmer hearts. Yours is pure and gentle, just what we need."

His smile didn't match his words. His lips curled upwards eerily showing his teeth too much, and I thought I saw his eyes glow fleetingly. He flipped a switch illuminating the vast room and assuring me that what I thought I saw was simply the darkness. I looked around his office, for I had never been. Three of the walls were covered from floor to ceiling in books. I couldn't imagine someone having so much time to read them all. A mahogany desk sat in the middle of the room with a chair behind it and one in front. Behind the desk, was what I assumed would be a window though it was covered with a thick blood colored curtain. His office was very simple and smelled of old books, and by the lack of places to seat, he didn't get many visitors.

"Last time, the Queen was in my office, she saw this," Lord Dashkov pointed to his desk which was covered in papers and books but in the corner of it was a crescent moon made of clear glass, and in the center was a globe different shades of blue, red and black. "She loved it, and I promised her I would have one specially made for her." From his drawer, he pulled a box and upon opening it revealed a small lotus flower. "I would be forever grateful if you could take this with you for Her Majesty. It arrived today from Italy."

"You are very kind, Lord Dashkov. I will happily deliver this to her." I looked at the flower in awe at the craftsmanship and red tips that seemed to glow under the soft light. "I adore this."

I felt light as a feather like there was nothing around me. I was floating in comforting darkness with only the lotus as my source of light blinking gently lulling me to sleep. To let go of everything and be free like I always wanted. In the darkness, I heard my name whispered like a prayer. The voice was familiar, warm and oddly enough had an accent. The voice promised me happiness, love, freedom, and acceptance if I simply let go. Let go of what? Of me. Let go of who I was. How could someone let go of one's essence? Was it possible to live without that essence? Yes, it was possible. The voice promised eternal life filled with joy and freedom to do as I pleased.

"Your Highness," the voice said louder still commanding my attention. "Rose?"

The darkness faded, and I found myself standing in Lord Dashkov's office. He was walking towards the door opening it to reveal Dimitri with Mason right behind him.

"Come in, Mr. Belikov," Lord Dashkov said cheerfully. "I usually do not have this many guests, but I can call for some chairs and some tea. If you prefer something stronger, I can see what I can do."

"Very kind, Lord Dashkov," Dimitri bowed hastily and rushed towards me. His eyes were hard almost worried as he looked me up and down as if assessing for wounds and blood. He must have been satisfied with his inspection, and he almost seemed to sigh in relief until his eyes landed on the lotus flower, and he seemed just as captivated by it like me.

"Lord Dashkov had it made for Mother," I assured him it was safe. We had been told not to accept gifts from the public, but Lord Dashkov was practically family. He had tried so hard to make Natalie and me best friends, but I just didn't feel a connection with her. Our biggest problems would be what dress to wear. "Is it not the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?"

"As I said," Dimitri looked up from the lotus flower; his eyes rested on my face. He frowned as if I had said the sky was orange or as if he was looking at me for the first time. "Lord Dashkov is very kind, but we must go, Your Highness. The King wishes for you to return to the palace. Your lessons with him are done."

"Of course," I turned to Lord Dashkov. "Thank you for the gift. The Queen will be very pleased."

"No, thank you for indulging me, Your Highness. I wish you both luck in your task. God only knows we need all the help with can get."

"Thank you," I said as Dimitri took the box with the lotus from me and motioned with his free hand so that I may go ahead of him. "Thank you for your kind words and the Queen's gift."

"Thank you, and have a lovely day, Your Highness, Mr. Belikov." Lord Dashkov bowed then waved at us from his desk as we exited the room.

Eddie joined us as we walked down the hall, and I realized my entourage had been sent to retrieve me. We all walked in silence with Dimitri next to me stiff as a board as if waiting for the enemies to jump from the empty walls or the high ceilings. Perhaps he was just annoyed with me for the way I treated him all day, but it was the best way to keep him safe from me and my selfishness. He needed to leave, to go home and never look back. If I made him my lover, I couldn't promise him any more than shadows. We could never express our attraction or love. That was if he even wanted me the same way I did. I shouldn't assume all men desired me.

"The car is waiting," Grant said as we joined him by the front doors with Christian and Lissa already there sitting in the same chair I had the previous day after the attack. "The Guards have made the crowds disperse, and we checked out the perimeter. All is clear for departure when Her Highness desires."

"I wanted to say goodbye to the King," I turned to Dimitri. "Where is he?"

"He is in a private audience with Lady Tatiana." He responded less tense. "He wanted me to tell you he will be home for dinner."

I nodded. "I suppose we can go now. I have a dress fitting soon."

Lissa jumped up and squealed at that. She soon forgot of her man opting to speak about her first true love: dresses. She interlaced her arm through mine and began to talk nonstop about what fun we were going to have. I looked back at Dimitri, who still held the lotus in his hand and spoke with Mason quietly. All I wanted was to be alone with him to talk. We had our task and I wanted to apologize. Perhaps by working together, we could reach an understanding, and we could be friends. Perhaps I would tell him the truth of how I felt and hope he reassured me it was fine to love him from afar, and our friendship could continue. Or perhaps he would tell me to forget all romantic notions and forget him. What my heart desired most was he would proclaim to love me as well, and we could find a way to be together. Freedom and love. The darkness had promised such. Why hadn't I listened? All I had to do was give up who I was. Whatever that meant.

"Do you wish to travel the same way we arrived?" Dimitri asked me pulling me out of my deep thoughts.

This was my chance to talk to him without Lissa going on and on about dresses. But was it wise? Something was happening to me. I wasn't as strongly resolved as before to put up walls around me when it came to Dimitri Belikov. I felt weakened by his eyes and his lips. I felt the urge to run my fingers through his hair and pull him towards me so that he would turn me into a woman. I would give him the crown if he asked for it. Realizing my thoughts were borderline dangerous, I inhaled deeply and took Lissa with me. In the end, Mason and Grant were in the same car as Lissa and me while Dimitri, Eddie, and Christian were in a separate car.

Lissa did most of the talking about the possibilities and how exciting this whole thing was. It would be a night of the most beautiful and expensive jewels the lord and ladies could wear. A night of exquisite dresses and extravagant feast. I chimed in with agreement or added a few details, but my heart and my head weren't in the conversation. I just wanted some quiet time to decipher where those thoughts had come from. Perhaps I was simply feeling exhausted from the day and recalling memories with my grandfather. Perhaps talking about dresses was exactly what I needed. I was carrying too much on my shoulders already. I couldn't let go of my hatred to those who had murdered my grandfather. There was a high expectation of my future with Adrian by my side in a marriage neither of us wanted. And there was Dimitri Belikov and those damn feelings I simply had to erase from heart and soul. Like that day in the throne room, I felt walls closing in. I felt like the lotus flower made of glass easily shattered with the slightest pressure. I had to breathe and forget some of my worries. I could be a girl excited about her birthday celebration. I could be happy to try on dresses, jewels, and crowns with my best friend. The end of the world, my world, wasn't happening yet.

By the time we came to a stop in front of the castle, I was in higher spirits. We were greeted by Mia, who had a tray with glasses of fresh orange juice. I instructed Mia to deliver Lord Dashkov's gift to mother and inform her that we were going to start the dress fitting soon and hoped we would see her there. Dimitri seemed reluctant to part ways like he wanted to talk, as did I. But I had resolved to enjoy a few hours of frivolous fun before we had to dive into political matters and pretend we weren't attracted to each other.

"Mr. Belikov, a few words?" I stepped away from Lissa and moved closer to Dimitri, who met me halfway. "I just want to apologize for my behavior today. It has been rather emotional, and while that is no excuse, I do feel out of sorts. I hope you can forgive my horrible behavior towards you. You've been nothing but kind."

"There's nothing to apologize for, Princess. I understand there's quite a bit going on." He paused then continued with a whisper. "Are you feeling well?"

I frowned. "Of course. Why would you ask?"

"Simply because your mother is feeling ill. I just wanted to be sure you hadn't caught anything, Your Highness." He shrugged as if it was no big deal but once again he felt tense. Did I make him uncomfortable? Did he no longer feel at ease with me? Was he afraid of offending me?

"I can assure you, I'm well. We will talk more during our training. I have fittings and some lessons to tend to before then."

"Of course, Your Highness," he bowed low. "I am at your disposal."

"Thank you," I cleared my throat and fussed with the skirt of my dress ironing out nonexistent wrinkles. "And again, I apologize. I do look forward to working with you."

"Likewise," his eyes met mine again despite how hard we were trying not to lock gazes. Since we did, a million messages seemed to pass between us. He was sorry for last night too. He knew he overstepped, and I did appreciate his thoughts. It was almost freeing to have someone empathize with what I was going through. Perhaps our friendship wasn't lost after all.

We said goodbye and went separate ways. I didn't know where Dimitri went or what he did in his spare time. As I followed Lissa up to my room, I tried to imagine what a day in Dimitri's life looked like. I didn't think he simply sat twiddling his thumbs waiting for my command or my father's. Did he read books? What kind of books? Western novels no doubt for his love of dusters. I had yet to see him carry a book though I had seen him writing letters. And what was his life back at home? Did he go for walks with his family? Did he play an instrument? Did he have lots of meetings with other diplomats? What did he eat? What time did he go to bed? Did he sleep naked or with bottoms? I flushed at the last thought as I started to wonder what it would be like to fall asleep in his bare arms.

"Rose!" Lissa demanded my attention. "This is the one! I just know it!"

I had been trying on dresses with the designer suggesting hairstyles that would go along with each outfit. But my excitement had faded as thoughts of Dimitri consumed me. So much for taking part in frivolous fun. I looked down at the dress I was wearing. After a while, all of them blurred and seemed the same just in different colors or with a new detail sewed in.

"I don't know," I bit my lower lip considering the dress. It was cute but pink wasn't my color and not my style like someone puked bows all over it. Just as I was about to say so with kinder words, the door to my room opened. My mother walked in with Celeste at her heels. I had yet to see mother disheveled. Even when she was sick, she looked pristine. Her hair was braided intricately down her back and she wore a simple, for her standards, emerald green dress. Even her face, though a bit pale, was unblemished.

"Too childish," my mother said upon looking at me in the dress. "We need something more mature. She will be officially named Crown Princess after all."

"I am so glad you could join us, Mother." I stepped down from the stool and met my mother halfway curtsying before embracing her. "Are you feeling better?"

"I am," she patted my head and smiled reassuringly. "I hope you thanked Lord Dashkov for his lovely gift."

"I did," I moved back to the stool so that Lissa and the designer could help me out of the dress. "It was very charming. I saw the moon on his desk."

"Moon?" My mother frowned looking through the rack of dresses. "He must have gotten another. I saw a flower last time I was there."

I shrugged not really concerned with Lord Dashkov.

"How did it go?" She asked pulling a dress from the rack.

"Fine," I said simply stepping into the one she picked.

"Just fine?"

"It was amazing, Your Majesty," Lissa chimed in. "She stood up and said 'no! That is not how things will get done anymore.' Very powerful. Very queen like."

"Is that so?" My mother looked proudly at me like I had finally grown into the daughter she always wanted, and I was happy to be that for her. I just didn't know for how much longer before I did something to ruin it. "That is great news. There is hope for us yet. And I think," she made me spin, "we found your dress."

"Or at least one of them," I nodded approving of her choice. I had tried on many, and we had yet to find a single one for the grand event. "I think this will fit for the ball."

"Agreed." This was the first time she and I agreed on something. It was almost a relief not having to collide about everything even a simple dress. "Though we need to do something about that low neckline. That is not very regal."

I had spoken too soon. "Mother this is perfect. I have to show what you gave me." I threw my head and laughed with Lissa covering her mouth to hide her amusement at my words.

My mother clicked her tongue in disapproval as the designer approached and tried to come up with ideas. "Perhaps jewelry to distract from it. We can add a shawl, but it will take the awe away from the rest of the dress."

"Jewelry will be our best choice," My mother turned to Celeste and sent her away. "Let us talk about hair while we wait."

As we discussed ideas for my hair, Celeste returned along with several others each one carrying a velvet box of different shapes and colors. I held my breath as the boxes were set down gently in front of us. As each box was opened revealing family jewels, one necklace more blinding than the other, my breath was ripped away, and when we got to the tiara I would be wearing for the day, I felt light-headed. I couldn't deny that I was excited seeing the ensemble come together. Looking in the mirror was like seeing a new Rose. This Rose was mature, regal, and important. But above all, I saw my mother's eyes glisten with pride and love as she saw me walk about the room. I had never seen her so emotional or so happy. She spent the rest of the afternoon with us sharing stories of her youth, eating cakes, and drinking lemonade until Kirova came to fetch me. It was time for my lessons.

I hated parting ways with my mother after the wonderful time we had spent, but she was looking weaker than usual, so she retired to her room after kissing my forehead.

"I am so very proud of you," Mother said caressing my cheek. "You are very much loved, Rosemarie. Do not forget it."

"I love you too, mom," I curtsied as she left with Celeste following closely ready to catch her if needed. If anyone reminded me of glass, it would be her. It was concerning to think of her as breakable when all my life she has been more of a diamond; brilliant, elegant and difficult to shatter. I felt my chest tighten as I saw her stumble a little but hold her hand up to stop Celeste from rushing to her aid. Even in sickness, my Mother tried to be strong. I hoped a little rest would help her. The day had been filled with plenty of emotion, laughter, and excitement. It would do us all some good to relax. However, I promised myself to have father call the doctor in.

I followed Kirova as best as I could in her language lesson. This time, I was learning French. I couldn't keep up with verbs, so every time I messed up, Kirova added five minutes to my lesson. Before I knew it, I was running late for dinner. I had yet to go up to my room and change. Mason and Eddie rushed after me when I came out of the library running. I gathered up the skirt of my dress and began to take two steps at a time when I heard laughter from the garden. At the top of the stairs, I stopped by the window and saw Natalie Dashkov clinging to Dimitri's arm. My eyes narrowed on her perfectly manicured fingers on his bicep. I took a deep breath and turned to walk away.

I needed to change. I would be late for dinner. Dimitri didn't belong to me. He wasn't an object; he was a person with free will, and if he wanted to flirt with Lady Natalie, I couldn't stop him. She was a good match. She was wealthy and had power. An alliance between a Lady of Turkey and a diplomat from Russia would be beneficial. I stopped halfway up the stairs. What the hell did I care about politics? And what the hell was Natalie doing in my home talking to my Russian?

I turned around and almost ran into Mason and Eddie. They parted like the Red Sea to avoid colliding with me, and I ran past them. At the double doors leading to the garden, I calmed my breath and fussed with my hair and dress hoping I looked decent.

"How charming," Natalie said as they walked around the tulips and fountain. "I have never been that far in Russia. I hope you can be my guide one day, Mr. Belikov."

"I would be honored, Lady Natalie," Dimitri bowed his head politely.

"What a pleasant surprise, Natalie," I called approaching them with what I hoped was a kind smile. "Dimitri."

"Your Highness," they said at the same time bowing and curtsying.

"Princess," Natalie was practically bouncing as she rushed towards me. "I have missed you. I heard your dresses arrived, and I was hoping I would get to see, but when we got here, Mia said you were in your lessons, so I decided to take a stroll when I ran into Mr. Belikov sitting out here on his own writing. I thought I would introduce myself as Father talks about him fondly. I had to see what all the fuss is about, and my father was right. Mr. Belikov is very charming and a gentleman. He has been telling me about Baia. Oh, I wish I could go…"

"Natalie," I sighed. "You need to breathe. You are turning red."

"Oh," Natalie put her hands on her cheeks and giggled nervously. "Sorry. I just get so excited! Papa and I are having dinner with you all, and I hear Lady Tatiana and Adrian are joining us as well. This will be so much fun! I do hope you will be there, Mr. Belikov?"

"I hope so as well, Lady Natalie," Dimitri met my eyes. "If Their Royal Highness permit so. I would not want to intrude in a personal dinner with close friends."

"None sense!" Natalie turned to me and pouted. "Please make him attend, Your Highness."

"I cannot make him do anything, Natalie," I said patiently like a parent explaining to a child why they can't have another pastry. "But an invitation is always in place for you and Christian to join us for dinner. You two are honored guests here just as much as the Ivashkovs and Dashkovs."

"I am honored," Dimitri bowed and as he opened his mouth to say more, Natalie squealed.

"This will be great," Natalie skipped back to Dimitri and took his arm. "I hope we can sit near, so can continue our conversation."

"No," I said abruptly causing both of them to look up at me concerned at the sharpness in my voice. "I mean," I cleared my throat. "Come with me, Natalie. Lissa and I missed you. We have much to talk about."

"Oh," Natalie's face fell, and she hesitated to let go of Dimitri, but in the end, she would because the Princess commanded so. She, or anyone, would ever deny me anything. One of the perks I felt dirty using, but I wanted Natalie away from Dimitri. I was irrational and possessive which I had never felt about anyone. It wasn't a good feeling, but I couldn't stand Dimitri giving someone else stories of his life. I couldn't stand anyone making him smile or occupying his heart.

I felt the heat rise on my cheeks as I realized what a petulant child I was being. Dimitri and I were simply friends. We couldn't be more, so I couldn't rob him of a good opportunity of earning the favor of the Dashkovs. I was being selfish again, and I had promised I was done being so.

"Your Highness," Adrian called saving me from the nasty feelings bubbling inside me. I turned to see him standing by the doors with an unlit cigarette between his fingers. "I have finally found you."

I smiled and waved at him to come forward. He put away his cigarette and joined us by the tulips. I was glad he came to save us all from the awkwardness I had created. I couldn't even face Dimitri anymore and avoided locking gazes with him. In fact, I avoided looking at Natalie's hand on his arm. Adrian stopped next to me to bow then turned to smile genuinely at Natalie.

"Lady Dashkov," Adrian kissed her free hand. "You are lovelier each time I gaze upon you."

"Oh, Adrian," Natalie giggled. "You are always such a flirt. You must tone it down now that your engagement with Her Highness is official. Or you know almost official. Oh, you must show me the ring!"

My smile faded, and I interlaced my hands behind my back. Adrian didn't miss a beat though. I was thankful he was always quick-witted and could steer conversation easily. Perhaps one of the reasons he was chosen as my future husband.

"I cannot, my lady." Adrian placed his hand on my upper back. "Some things must be kept secret." He met her eyes gently chastising her. "But you, and the whole world will be sure to see the exquisite ring upon our Princess' perfect finger soon enough."

"Oh," Natalie gasped. "You don't have it yet do you?"

I tried hard not to roll my eyes at how clueless she was. I couldn't stand it anymore, and I looked up only to find Dimitri's gaze on me. I couldn't be sure, but I felt like he had been looking at me the whole time. My knees could crumble under the intensity of his brown orbs. There was a brief distance between us, but we might as well have been across the world. At that moment though, I saw it in his eyes. He felt the same. There was no denying it. Something was happening between us. There were a million reasons to stay away from each other, but at the same time, he would cross oceans, deserts, and storms to beat those million reasons. How did I know? Because that was how I felt, and I could see the torture in his eyes that I felt in my chest. I couldn't breathe with the scream in my throat. A scream that needed to be let out, to tell him how I felt, to tell him how much I hated my duty and his. As tears stung my eyes, I saw his right foot move towards me like he wanted to cross that fragile glass bridge between us. A bridge that one wrong foot would break it and our countries would have to pick up the pieces.

Dimitri realized this, and he stopped. He stayed still and dropped his gaze, but it was too late. The damage had been done. There was no way we could pretend nothing was happening. In fact, next time we were alone, I was sure there would be a conversation about this moment, and I dreaded it with all my heart because he would tell me his words from the previous night had been a mistake. Neither one of us could leave our duty. We couldn't be together. We couldn't even be friends. There was too much at risk to pretend we could forget the attraction becoming more and more ardent and harder to hide.

Adrian cleared his throat and pulled my hand from behind my back interlacing it through his arm as if to hold me in place. For that, I was thankful. I turned to him and gave him a brief smile.

"I am afraid I can't give my secrets away, Natalie," Adrian said cryptically answering her questions about the ring. "Besides, we are running out of time. As entertaining as this conversation is, I must accompany the Princess to her room. Dinner will be served soon, and she must get ready."

"Oh, sorry to keep you, Your Highness," Natalie stepped away from Dimitri and made towards me. "I will see you at dinner, Mr. Belikov."

"Natalie, it's fine," I said before Dimitri could even open his mouth. He had been so quiet since Adrian arrived. I wanted to spare him the awkwardness and even pain of being near my soon to be betrothed. "You can stay with Dimitri. Adrian, was there a reason why you were looking for me?" I turned to Adrian hoping he caught onto my hints to get me away from here.

"As a matter of fact, yes," Adrian met Dimitri's eyes briefly causing him to stiffen even more. I saw Dimitri's jaw twitch. "What you asked me to do. I have completed the task, Your Highness."

"Perfect," I turned back to Dimitri and Natalie. "I will see you both at dinner. Enjoy your stroll."

I didn't even wait for a response or their bowing and curtsying. I turned with Adrian, Mason, and Eddie following closely. I felt mortified by the whole thing, and I couldn't understand what had possessed me to run after Dimitri and Natalie. I had made a fool of myself and Dimitri. I was betraying Adrian with my feelings for a foreign commoner. I held onto Adrian tightly as we walked back into the palace. Adrian remained silent as we took the stairs to my room. Many claimed Adrian was a young man who needed to grow up. They said he was a disgrace to his family despite his achievements as diplomat simply because he liked to have fun. He liked parties, liquor, cigarettes, and women. They said he was only a diplomat because of his family, who were trying to set him straight. But they didn't know him as I did.

They didn't know how sad he was being born into a family more worried about appearances than their happiness. Every marriage in his family had been arranged. His parents weren't as lucky as mine. They never fell in love. Instead, they were trapped in a loveless marriage with a son neither of them paid attention to. If they didn't love each other, how could they love him? Tatiana practically raised him, and he turned out better than expected. He liked to party yes, but he knew his duty, and he would do it well. If not for himself and his parents, then for Tatiana and me.

He was always there for me. He knew me as I did him. So he was no fool. He saw it. He saw the way Dimitri and I battled our affection just then. His silence was an indication that he was hurt at what he saw. Despite not loving me that way, I still owed it to him to be devout because I had no doubt he'd do the same for me. When we reached my bedroom door, I turned to him and buried my face in his chest.

"I'm sorry," I said against his shirt. "I don't mean to feel this way."

It was a few seconds before he wrapped his arms around me. I had taken him by surprise. "Don't apologize for your heart, Little Princess." He kissed my hair. "The heart is complicated. Trust me, I know. Sometimes it loves the wrong person."

"Or the right one," I sighed. "The right one it can't have."

"Yes," he tightened his hold on me. "But I must tell you, Rose. Your beloved…"

"What did you find out?" I looked up at him anxious to hear about Dimitri's life. Adrian paused and looked worried. "What is it, Adrian?" I stepped back with my heart in my throat expecting to hear the worst.

"He is no diplomat," Adrian began with the obvious. "In fact, he doesn't exist. I managed to get a hold of all records of Russian diplomats. Don't ask how except I owe a lot of people favors."

"What do you mean he doesn't exist?" I turned to Mason, who was close by as if ready to leap between me and Dimitri, though he was nowhere to be found.

"Exactly that. He doesn't exist in any official record from the Russian government. There are documents that have been falsified to make him look like a diplomat, but when you dig deeper, he's not there. His life disappears after the age of thirteen." Adrian placed his hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes. "That can only mean one thing, Rose. Dimitri Belikov is a spy."

AN: I apologize for the long, very long, delay on updates. I usually try to take a break between chapters, so I don't exhaust myself too much. But eventually, I get distracted with shows. I have been binge watching many shows including Game of Thrones, which oddly enough inspired me to get back to writing. I will try not to take so long between this chapter and next though I might need your help lol. You're welcome to say 'hey lady, get off your ass and write!' Anyway, I do hope this chapter was good enough, and you all are still with me. Until next time!