Sarah Black Pov
"Hey?" I whispered to Henry who sat beside me in math class. He wore a red and brown plaid hoodie and tan khakis.
He raised his eyebrows not saying a word, yet glanced ahead at Mrs. Young-Uley at the blackboard.
"Are you going to the dance tonight?"
He shook his head no.
"Why?"
"My mother is taking me to my grandparents for my uncle Shawn's birthday." He whispered.
"Oh." My uncle Seth must be working at the auto shop.
"Did you ask Embry?" He whispered.
I smiled with a nod.
"SHHH.." Mrs. Young-Uley said to Henry and me, then we both put our heads down to our test papers.
At this point most of the kids my age know that Emily aka Mrs. Young-Uley is my mother's second cousin. They were never close like they were when they were practically babies, though Sam's wife has always been nice to me. Even offering to tutor me in math. She knows it best. She's been teaching it for years, way before I was born.
In a strange way, I feel that we have a bond-of-being girls who are wolf-boy-soul-mates.
Emily was very pretty, even with the long scar across her face. I wonder if a fight ever so big happened between my parents when they were younger. If anything, I'm sure I would have read of it in my mothers book.
I hated math, and what's worse is that I'm taking freshmen lessons of it.
The only good part was that Henry is here with me.
I can't wait for the dance. It's going to be amazing with Embry as my date.
Jacob Black Pov
*Flashback*
16 years Ago
On the drive home with Leah, it was nothing but quiet.
With the year we just had, I was hoping to end it with a celebration.
Aiden and most of the bad guys are dead, while Leah and our family remain together, and intact. Yet, here I am feeling as if I lost everything once again.
It was only a few weeks ago that I was released from jail, charged with a crime I would never commit. It wasn't Charlie's fault either, he had to do his job. Adam's half sister was very convincing with her fake photographs.
I was out just in time to find out that the love of my life was pregnant with our fourth child.
When I reunited with Leah I knew things wouldn't magically go back to the way they were. However, I slept better at night feeling as if my relationship with Leah would evolve into much more than it has ever had before.
I didn't get her hesitation on marriage. I'm trying to get it. Marriage is a scary thing, it's permitted but promising, that's what I love most about the idea. Vows you share with that one person who you can't imagine living without.
I most certainly cannot live without Leah Clearwater.
Marriage, it's the one thing no one can take away or try to divide unless we allow it. There's no doubt Leah loves me, but I can't help but wonder if there was a specific reason for her sudden pause.
I come up blink to think of anything or anyone. I know Sam's out of the picture, and now that Embry has imprinted on Sarah he'll always be around. However, him and Leah have gotten closer during her pregnancy, but he couldn't be the reason why she had paused. I can only hope not.
"Where are you going?" Leah said, breaking me out of my thought, and I glared out the window, driving past our house.
"Dammit." I muttered whipping the wheel around to make a fast U-turn.
"Jeez." Leah exclaimed, holding on to her seat as the truck proactively tuned on two wheels.
"Sorry." I said stopping the car right in front of the driveway, the entire house was crowded when we left this morning.
Not ready to go inside, I sat still.
It's better if I stayed out here to think.
Noticing Embry's car wasn't here, I knew if any time was good to talk with him alone. No doubt he would soon be here to come take Sarah away from everyone.
"Are you coming?" Leah asked, opening the passenger door and I looked over at her for the first time since we got into the truck.
"No. You go ahead, I'll take a drive." I said, turning my head to glared out the windshield.
"Right now?" She asked.
"Yeah."
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah, fine." I lied.
"Jacob?" She sighed, already catching that I wasn't happy with her answer about marrying me that she gave on the cliffs. "Don't make me feel guilty, just give me time. You just got back home, I just had a baby... this whole Camilla mess has both of us apprehensive of our relationship. I don't want to rush our-forever."
"I get it. Just go in the house, I'll be there in a couple minutes." I said fast.
"Jacob?"
I rolled my eyes. "I'm not going to throw myself off the cliffs because you won't marry me, Leah. I'm not that pathetic." I stated.
"Fine." She said getting out the truck and shutting the door. "Please, don't be too long."
I nodded in reply as she walked to the house.
Waiting until she got inside the door, I then made a U-turn for Embry's house.
*Moments Later*
Knocking on the door, it wasn't long till it swung open.
Taking a step back, Embry's aunt Agnes, who is the youngest sister of his dearly departed mother Gwen, answered the door.
She sucked her teeth rolling her eyes. "What do you want?" She was just as mean as Gwen once was. I've only known for her to visit when she needs to crash on Embry's couch.
"Embry here?"
"Maybe." She spat.
"Tell him I want to talk with him."
"Why? Here to accuse him of stealing Leah away from you and Imprinting on your baby or are you going to whine about how he wasn't fast enough to protect them in the first place?" She says, flicking her cigarette off into the dirt.
"Neither." I said, rolling my eyes.
"Aunt Agnes!" We both heard Embry's voice from inside and I glared behind her. "Hush up, and move. Please." He said to her as she moved out of the doorway, then turned into the house.
Embry looked at me as he came onto the porch.
I took two steps back, as he closed the front door.
"What's up?" He said, crossing his arms across his chest, and I awkwardly placed both my hands into my pants pockets.
"About earlier, Sorry. Don't know what I was thinking."
"I do, and your apology is accepted." He said fast.
"Just like that?" I said I was confused.
He shrugged. "Were you expecting something else?"
"I was expecting you to slam the door in my face."
"Jake, It's not like you punched me. Leah was missing. Vampires were trying to hurt her and Sarah. I understand. No big deal. You were pissed and stressed out, we all have those days."
"You're just saying that because you imprinted on my kid." I stated.
"True, but still...We can't blame anyone for how screwed up our friendship has gotten. I mean we could, though what would that really do?"
"Well we can work on it." I stated.
"Yeah well, not to sound jealous…. But I thought Mason was your second-hand-man."
I snorted.
"So it's you or Mason?"
"Basically." He said and I put my head down for a second, but after everything with Leah, and our discussion about Sarah- it's time for me and him to be close again, especially since he imprinted on Sarah.
"Mason is a cool guy. You are two." I said not needing to choose between them. "This morning neither of us would've talked about anything if Leah wasn't there. I'll have to get used to you being with Sarah in the future but I, of all people know the imprinting thing is uncontrollable. So I'm fine with it. Leah probably wanted you to be Sarah's god-father anyway."
"So we're cool?" He asked.
"Yeah." I nodded. Embry and Quil will always be my best friends. "I actually want you to be my best man."
"Say what?" He said lost.
"I asked Leah to marry me today, and when the time comes... I'll need you there."
He shook his head in disbelief, and suddenly started laughing.
"Wow, well about time." He grinned, happy for us.
"So what do you say?" I asked.
"I say…. Why the hell not!" He stated.
I laughed, as he raised his hand and I instantly slapped it and pulled him in for a man-hug.
"Congrats." He smirked patting my back.
"Embry? The phone. It's Charlie Swan." We heard his aunt Agnes say opening the door and we instantly pulled apart.
"Can't you see I'm a little busy here? Tell him I went out." Embry said, quickly glancing back.
"I already told him you were out here with, Jacob."
"Aunt Agnes! Please." He said through his teeth, lifting his hand up for her to leave him alone.
"Fine. I'll lie."
"Yeah, do what you do best." He muttered, turning back around to face me. "So, you and Leah are getting married? When?"
"Not today, sadly. When she decides she's ready she'll let me know."
He nodded understandingly.
"It must be a lot for her to put everything on pause. With you coming back and being stabbed ... then me imprinting. I can see why she didn't want to get married so fast." He said and that sounded comforting coming from him.
"Yeah...damn.. you're right." I said thinking about it. "I asked her too soon." I snorted. "I just don't see a reason to wait any longer. I love her."
"And she loves you, trust me... of all people I should know." He said and I bit my bottom lip wondering what they talked about when I was gone.
I spent six months locked away, waiting for a court day because of Camilla. Embry took care of Leah and the kids when I wasn't able to, he basically took my spot for a while.
"I also gotta say thanks for keeping Leah and the boys safe while I was gone. It was good to know that Quil and you were watching over them, but mainly you. You had their backs when I wasn't able to. I'm glad you were the one who was there for them."
"I appreciate you saying that, man. Thanks and you're welcome. Just so you know, Leah pushed on like a champion." He smiled.
"That's why I love her."
"So now that I'm your best-man, Are you expecting me to throw a kick-ass bachelor party?"
I snorted.
"I wasn't, though if you want, I'm not going to stop you." I said turning for the porch steps.
"So, strippers then?" He called out to me.
I burst out laughing, bouncing down the steps towards my truck.
"Why not."
"Sweet." Embry exclaimed, and I laughed.
"Are you coming to the house?"
"Of course. I'll be there in ten minutes." He said as I got to my truck.
*Moments Later*
Walking towards the house, I bounded up the porch steps.
Looking through the screen door, inside on the couch was Leah and Elena.
"Sounds like you never want to, to me."
"I'm not saying never." Leah says to her and it was obvious they were talking about marriage.
Walking into the house, Elena looked over at me. The living room was crowded with what felt like everyone in La Push.
Not saying anything to anyone, I glared down at Leah who suddenly looked up at me. "Can we talk?" I asked.
She licked her lips. "Right now?" She was clearly eating something in her bowl that I couldn't see.
"It would be nice." I said trying to hide every inch of irritation.
When Leah stood up placing her bowl on the center table, I turned back to walk out onto the porch.
"Where did you go?" She asked, following me down the porch stairs, towards the lawn.
"To Embry's." I said turning. "I asked him to be my best man- for whenever you decide to marry me."
She sighed.
"Jacob, this wedding thing is too soon. I told you."
"Wedding thing? No, and what the hell was that?" I say pointing to the house. "Blabbing your mouth to Elena, already. You don't have to tell her everything you know." I said, feeling embarrassed by her rejection.
Leah rolled her eyes. "I wasn't blabbing and what about you? Asking Embry to be your best man for a wedding I said I wasn't ready for."
"Excuse me for wanting to be happy for something, to look forward to something."
"Something that's not happening yet, Jacob. Now I'm sorry if you feel that what I said was insensitive, but can you not sulk? Out of all days, I need time."
"Who says I'm sulking? You'll have your time."
"Jacob, you know deep down you're what I need, I just don't want to rush and get married tonight."
"Then what time will be best for you?" I muttered.
"I'm just saying people who aren't married have no clue how marriage actually works. All you see are rings and a piece of paper." She stated.
"Don't tell me what I see. All I see right now is a scared little girl who's afraid, and I'm standing here telling you that you don't have to be. I want this."
"I'm not afraid, Jacob." She says, even though it's clear she was.
"Yes you are. Are you afraid of being trapped completely, right? Afraid I'll tie you down from picking up and walking out. You don't have to feel like I'm shoving you into the basement." I said much calmer.
"That's not it at all." She whispers.
I don't believe it for a second.
"In a real marriage our lives don't end, we can be attracted to other people, we can work or go to school, we can live our life like we had. We can do things separately. Being married doesn't mean life is over, and that we can't still do things like before like when Josh was first born. Don't think about it too much." I stated.
Leah sighed.
"What do I have to do to prove I'm not living without you? that I'd be lost without you?" I say stepping into her, grabbing her hips towards me.
"You're only doing this because I just had Sarah." She muttered.
"No and yes." I said honestly. "So what?"
"How would it be if she wasn't here? Will you still push this?" She asked.
"Of course I would, I don't need anything else but you. What part of that don't you get?"
"It's a never ending story with us, we fight constantly over and over. We broke up and-"
"So what? The more we fight, the more we make up. For years, Have you ever thought about why we do this? Why do we love wholeheartedly? Have you ever thought about letting me break down your walls just to lock me out? Have you ever doubted my devotion for you?" I asked.
"No.. I never honestly second guess us, ever." She whispered.
"You can't see why that's a good thing? If we have to keep thinking about why we're together then that'll mean we really don't want to be with each other, but that's not the case and it just shows how scared you are. So let me ask you this, What are you afraid of most... Marrying me or living without me?"
"You know the answer to that is?" She says moving from my hands down towards the yard.
"No I don't, tell me." I stated.
She exhaled looking around the yard.
"Tell me. What would you rather do? Marry me or live without me?"
Looking me in my eyes, she shook her head with a shrug, trying her best to keep her emotions in check. "Jacob, that's not fair. Of course I'm not afraid of marrying you." The doubt in her tone made me question the lie.
"I want to be the one to have you all to myself." I whispered pulling her into me.
"We have four kids, that's not going to happen all the time." She put her forehead to my chest.
"You should want this as much as I do, if not even more. If you really loved me.. you wouldn't hurt me with a no, you'll ease my pain."
She gave me a small shove. "You really mean that don't you?"
"Maybe."
"Jacob, I'm serious."
"I suck at manipulation, fine but come Leah. Tell me."
"I'm telling you-"
"No." I shook my head. "I'll ask again... What are you most afraid of? Marrying me or living without me?" I say.
"Jacob, I'm not saying never. I'm just saying not tonight." She said ignoring my question once again.
"That's not what I asked you." I retorted.
"Fine, I'm more afraid of living without you and we don't have to be married."
I exhaled.
"That's the dealbreaker." I said turning for the house.
"Wait." She grabbed my arm for me to stop, and I paused, glaring at her.
"I shouldn't have to beg you, Leah?"
"Ugh." She said, pulling at her hair. "I know what you're really asking me. Is this about Embry? Your sudden need to marry me so I'll be off limits? First Sam, now him. You can't keep doing this, for every second thought you allowed Adam's little sister to worm her way into your mind. I have to now pay for it." She says.
"You're deflecting." I noted with a smirk. "This doesn't have anything to do with anyone, except for you and me."
"So your saying either I marry you or you'll walk?" She implied.
"No, we can discuss if you rather not agree to a compromise then maybe we should reevaluate this partnership in a matter of years. I will never walk away from our family."
"Don't businessman me." She snapped.
I chuckled amused. "I'm just saying.. maybe we need to start thinking about our future. Now that Sarah is born, we can start protecting her and the boys with a stable home and routine household."
"Then what? You move out and live by yourself? Only coming to pick up the pups for weekends just to punish me?" She accused.
"If that's what you prefer, sure." I said nonchalantly.
"I don't believe you." She said looking at me with an anxious pause.
I got her now.
"What are you upset about?" I ask. "If you don't want to get married. Fine. End of story." I said walking back to the house. "But in case you haven't noticed, Embry imprinted on our daughter and even before that I never thought twice if he wanted you that way." I called back.
"Jacob, wait!" She snapped as I got to the porch steps.
I paused to look at her.
"Okay! Fine. We'll get married." She says walking towards me.
"Don't do me any favors." I muttered not convinced continuing to turn for the house.
"Jacob!" She said running up the porch steps as I got to the screen door. "Can you please stop?" She said, pushing the door shut as I opened it. "I said alright."
"I don't care." I stated. "Don't say you'll marry me because you're scared I'll back away. I'm not going anywhere. If you don't want to, fine. Maybe I'll get over it, maybe I won't." I said honestly.
"Look, I just feel once we take that step... it's over. Getting married isn't something to take lightly. We shouldn't buy rings nor say stupid vows just because we don't want anyone to think we're available." She expressed without any ouch of faith.
"No. Me wanting to marry you has nothing to do with anybody except you and I, I just told you that. I want to marry you because I love you and I don't care what the hell anybody else thinks. Yes, on the cliffs earlier I said that I lost it when I thought I was gonna lose you, and that I was worried about not being allowed in the hospital room because I wasn't your husband. Though has it occurred to you that I've been holding this back for a very long time? Since that first night you kissed me?"
"Ah you kissed me." She noted.
"So what? We kissed. We argued. We copulated." I grinned.
"You mean you silently devised me to conceive?" She retorted.
I rolled my eyes. "Sure, yes. Alright, sorry not sorry." I said of knowingly wanting to impregnate her without discussing it with her first. "I wasn't thinking than. I am now. I wanted that. This. Our family. Now I want you to want it all with me."
"This is a small reservation, Jacob. Everyone knows I'm yours, and you're mine." She stated.
"Not all the point I'm making. Maybe it did start with Camilla. Somehow she felt I was fair game. All that will always be in the back of our mind, but my number one reason is because I love you. You are my family. In some twist demented way I want you with me till I die, and if you can't see that then I don't know what to tell you." I stated.
"Marriage is huge... but if I have no other choice to make it with anyone, it's you, Jacob. I do want this with you only. I'm just... I'm just afraid we'll fail."
"We won't."
She sighed. "I do love you more than you know. I do want to commit fully to you. I just..."
I inhaled. "Leah if you even wake up not loving me any more, I promise divorce won't be the end of the world, we'll just have to accept it."
"That's comforting." She said sarcastically.
"It should be." I smirked. "We won't fail each other, we've come so far already."
She smiled. "I know, you're right."
"So, Are you ready? Or do we have to have a yearly long engagement?"
She laughed, exhaling. "No, I'm ready."
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"Ask me one more time, and I'll spit in your eye." She grinned.
Placing both of my hands on her cheeks, I pulled her towards me. "At times I really understand you, then others… I have know idea." I said kissing her so hard it probably hurt.
"You literally just guilt me into marrying you, You realized that?"
"You can hold it against me any day."
She kissed me fast.
"Loving you is part of companionship and I've always been impatient. You know that. This is where it's coming to because I'll always love you no matter what." I said kissing her again.
"Ditto." She stated. "I will always love you too."
"Leah, me of all people know we don't need a stupid paper and some rings to prove anything, though in my heart I'd sleep better at night knowing your truly mine."
"Understood." She smirked.
"I'll need to be with you till the end, so no backing out." I stated.
"You'll have nothing to worry about, except me wanting to keep my last name." She smiled.
"I'm perfectly fine with that." I stated.
Giving her a tight hug, she wrapped her arms around me tightly then sighed.
"What if getting married will complicate everything." She whispered like a scared little girl.
"Everything like what? You love me, right?" I said leaning back a bit.
"To the moon." She says.
"Then prove it."
"Alright." She nodded. "Let's do it."
"I'm not backing down." I clarified.
"I must be delusional to think you wouldn't." She stated
"You have until tonight to change your answer." I say.
"Why tonight?"
"Because we're getting married tomorrow." I said, grabbing her hands.
She sighed looking over towards the woods. "Tomorrow? Are you serious?"
"In or out, Clearwater?" I said, waiting for her to back out.
"Um." She said looking back at me. "First… I'll make you a deal."
"What would that be?" I asked.
"We can go get married tomorrow, but have our honeymoon in Hawaii. For three weeks."
I didn't have to think much on that one.
"Deal." I said without questioning. She smirked happily.
*End Of Flashback*
...
"I was thinking," Haylie said from the passenger seat. "After your two week vacation maybe I could become assistant manager."
This morning after Daniel and I got in from patrolling. I ate and went to see if Leah was asleep.
She was in our room, she was so deep in sleep that she didn't move when I laid beside her.
I only got three hours of sleep this morning before Haylie called to say the cafe crowd picked up and she needed rescuing. Quil, Claire, Keira, and Hazel all worked well with Haylie. Not to mention everyone's been stressed out lately so I figured I'll be nice for a long break.
"Caleb's up for assistant manager. I kinda owe it to him." I said to her as I drove down the dirt road towards the house.
Caleb wasn't there to assist them this morning due to being busy helping Josh with Jeremiah. Everything at the cafe was good, up until ten minutes ago when Josh phoned me to say there was an emergency and to get home fast.
Surprise to see an ambulance truck and cop cruiser on my driveway, on the lawn stood Embry and two paramedics.
While the front door was wide open.
"Oh my gosh, what happened?" Haylie said and I was just as clueless as she was.
I can only pray Leah isn't hurt.
"It must be Jeremiah." Haylie said fast as I switched off the ignition and jumped out of the truck. "He has gotten mighty sick. I don't blame Josh for bringing him here with family." She said as we got to the front porch.
Those darn leeches better have no parts of this.
Alec and Jane need to be stopped.
Walking into the house, Caleb, Leah and Billy sat in the kitchen talking.
They all held coffee cups around the table and looked at me when I moved towards them with Haylie right behind me.
"What happened?" I asked, looking at Leah's red wet eyes.
She had obviously been crying.
I could smell the green tea she was drinking from where I stood.
"Jeremiah passed moments ago." My dad said, grabbing hold of Leah's hand. "The paramedics are trying to revive him right now."
I sighed, with a nod. I feel bad for hoping only Leah wasn't hurt, but Jeremiah was my family too. He and I had always had good conversations, he was always welcoming to me.
He was like a father to Leah.
I remember after the final battle with the Volturi, after I imprinted -Leah left to go stay with him. He even came to our wedding.
"It's pointless." Caleb said low. "He's gone. There's nothing to revive. Josh was there when he went." Caleb said, dropping his head down on the table.
I inched towards wanting to comfort them all.
We all had to be strong and alert right now. The leeches could be watching and see this as a vulnerable time, then strike again.
My dad stood fast gently putting his arms around Caleb. "Come on kid, let's go get some fresh air." He helped him out the chair as Caleb didn't argue.
"Jake." Haylie said placing her hand on my upper arm, I looked to her forgetting she was behind me.
Two paramedics came down the hall carrying a stretcher with a sheet shielding what must be Jeremiah's body.
"Josh." Haylie said, rushing to him as he came down the hall in tears.
"I've been trying to reach Lauren, but her phone keeps going to voicemail." He said completely heartbroken.
"Don't worry," We heard someone say from the front door. "I'll go find her for you."
Embry walked in after the paramedics moved down the porch steps.
"I have to stay with him." Josh said about Jeremiah, walking towards the door.
"I'll come with you." Haylie said then followed after him.
I just stood there unsure what to do.
Soon as Haylie walked out with Josh, Embry looked after them. "Call me if you guys need anything." He then glanced behind me at Leah. "I have no idea who Lauren is."
"She's Jeremiah's stepdaughter. She works in Forks." I stated. "Her full name is Lauren Mallory, her and Josh have gotten close. She's also a hybrid." I noted so he wouldn't be alarmed on sight.
Embry nodded. "Okay, call me if she shows up. I'll text you if I find her."
"Thanks." I muttered.
"Of course." Embry then spun for the front door.
"I have to tell Daniel." Leah said from the kitchen table.
"Don't." I said moving towards her even though she didn't move from her seat. "You should relax."
The circles under her eyes I hadden noticed before. Kneeling before her she looked at me very weary.
"He's been sleeping all morning." She said and I took her hands in mine.
Pity shook me.
"We'll wait. When he wakes I'll tell him." I said gently pushing a little strand of her hair behind her ear.
Leah's right eye twitched and I knew she was holding back more tears.
"Let's go to the room." I said caressing her knuckles. "I feel I should be holding you right now."
"I have to tell you something."
"What is it?" I asked.
"I'm pregnant." She breathed.
It was easy to sense now that I've shifted. "I know." I remembered Daniel telling me this morning the reason why they came home.
"You do?" She asked.
I nodded. "After four kids I'm no longer surprised." I laughed.
She laughed and smiled a smile so beautiful that I felt like it's been awhile since I've seen it.
"But for some reason I can see it makes you sad." I said already knowing she wasn't as thrilled as most would be. She tends to stress and overthink more than usual when she's pregnant. "Talk to me." I say.
Leah exhaled, sliding her hand from under mine and putting it to my cheek. "I love you so much for wanting to, but talking… I would rather lay down. I'm not feeling so good."
"Is it the baby?" I asked.
"I don't know. I just want to sleep." She confessed.
"Please talk to me first. We all need a little help sometimes. Allow me to help."
"I'm fine, honest." She lied.
"Jeremiah was like a father to you- no was a father to you." I stated.
She nodded. "I would give anything for him to remind me that it won't always be this way."
"What way?" I ask.
"The uncertainty. Waiting around to see who will die next." She said and I wasn't sure what it was that I should say. "This life gets mighty heavy. I came back for peace and harmony and all I've got is more stress and sleepless nights."
"I know how you feel." I said and she shook my hands from her then scooted her chair back away from me.
"I need some time alone, okay." She said standing on her feet. She was upset and I was used to her suffering in silence.
I stood up as she started walking down the hall towards our bedroom.
"Leah?"
"Please, Jacob. I need to sleep."
"Don't do that, don't push me away. No one understands what you're feeling more than me." I spoke low, grabbing hold of her forearm turning her around to face me as we entered our bedroom. It was always like her to do this. "You can't keep pretending that I'm not here."
"Jacob?"
"I love you too much for you to go through this alone, I will never be your enemy." I said, pulling her into me. "We'll deal with this together."
"I can't." She said getting ready to move out of my grasp.
"Well you must. Locking it up and keeping quiet doesn't help you heal. Death is a part of this life and soon the kids won't be here to hold us together. We'll only have each other. I'll be all you have left to talk to. Why is it so hard for you? Do you not trust me?"
"You know I do." She breathed. "And I wish for you to understand."
"Then explain it to me?" I begged.
Leah sighed, backing away to sit on the edge of our bed. "In two years Sarah will be eighteen. Can you honestly go through this again? To think of us being alone with a baby again here?" She almost whispers.
I keeled before her. "We're professionals at this point." I joked with a smile. "We'll be fine." I reassured her.
"No, this is our home but it's not safe until we stop them all. How much time will it take?" She said, speaking of the leeches. "Then once we make it safe... Jacob, I don't want to be without them.. the world won't protect them. Our pups out there, where our enemies wait in the wings... What future is that for them?"
"Leah, we can't shelter them forever. We have to trust that they've learned to protect themselves. You don't want Josh, Daniel, Caleb and Sarah to feel like we're not supporting their growth or decisions. It would be pretty judgmental for us. No one was happy when I moved away years ago or when you went away for school. I mean think of it like this… we came back and so will they if they leave. This is how things are supposed to happen, we can't hold on to them forever. Yet... you and I, we're one eternally. So don't go through this alone, I don't want you too. Even when you don't think I won't understand, I'll try too." I pleaded.
"I know." She nodded. "Thank you, I know. I needed to hear you say that. Fear makes me do stupid things. I don't mean to push you away. I love you, I'm sorry." She spoke with tears in her eyes, and I quickly kissed her lips then kissed the tears from her cheeks.
"I get it. No more secrets from me, Alright?" I ask gently, grabbing hold of her hands that laid on her lap.
"I promise." She kissed me back on the forehead. "I didn't come home just because of the baby. I missed you. I missed waking up to you. I missed cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner. Waking up in the same bed. Though now that I'm here, I wonder if I'll ever go back to traveling."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"What if I get so lazy and comfortable that I get depressed again. Writing saved me. Save us. What I did was tell my story, I needed that. To be heard. I felt so amazing and to have people understand me everywhere I went. I feel bad thinking that I'll never travel when I have the baby. The baby would mean me staying home for years without the luxury and freedom. Can you imagine how empty that would be?" She said and I looked to the floor completely understanding. "I don't want to be that unhappy again, or be so miserable that I make you unhappy too." She confessed.
"I see."
"I sound selfish don't I?" She whispered ashamedly.
"No." I shook my head. "You want what you want."
"At first you seemed like the selfish one, but now that I think of it.. I am."
"No, no, in that case we both are… I am selfish. I wanted you all to myself. I still want you all to myself but I'm realizing that this is your dream, something you really love. You put aside everything so I could have the shop and cafe, even though I wanted to have them with you. If traveling is something you truly want then continue doing it, I'll stay home with the baby. I've never done that before." I chuckled.
"No. Jacob. I left you here alone for almost four months, I won't do that again."
"Leah, you've done what other authors fantasize of. Flying around the country, making money. This career has been all you ever dreamed about. You've found your purpose." I said and she glared up at me with a baffled expression. "If I have to hire Kelly to be a live-in-nurse while Haylie run our cafe and Quil run my auto garage, for the first years of our baby's life so you can tour. I'm fine with that."
Leah laughed. "You would do that?"
I would do anything for her. That fact that she hasn't figured that out yet bewilders me.
"Don't worry Clearwater, I've got your back." I said, kissing her forehead. "Come on, I'll tuck you in for a nap." I said getting off my knees. "Time to practice sleeping with a fussy baby." I joked.
Leah laughed as I lifted the covers just as she scooted up to the top of the bed.
"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" She said removing her socks.
"You have but it doesn't hurt to hear it again." I winked at her.
Leah laid her head down to the pillow, and I snuggled up behind her pulling the cover over her body.
"Thank you. I love you poppa-Jacob." She smiled as she squeezed my arms tightly.
I actually didn't mind that nickname. "Dream sweet dreams my queen." I whispered, kissing the back of her head.
She giggled and I exhaled in comfort.
Here I'll stay until she's asleep.
*Two Hours Later*
I sat on the couch, reading a newspaper while drinking a banana and kale smoothie my dad made. I should be looking over paperwork for the garage, but I keep getting distracted.
Daniel suddenly came rushing down the stairs.
"You're up." I stated.
"Yeah, I had this dream about Hazel. I have to go see her." He spoke in a rush.
"Noah picked her up from the cafe to allow her to go to the school dance." I stated.
Haylie was with Josh at the hospital.
"I know, I just spoke to him on the phone. I asked him if it was alright for me to visit Hazel to take her to grab some food. I even offered to help Hazel out at the cafe later if he allowed me to join her at the dance tonight. I can't believe how ridiculous I was acting. I was just so mad about the club incident, when all I should have really done was tell Hazel how scared I was." He said, sounding much happier than he was yesterday.
Daniel reminded me of Leah when it came to holding in his emotions.
I nodded. "Well I'm good you got it together, just don't make your moody-tales a habit. Bad enough I have to deal with your mothers hormones." I started standing on my feet.
He laughed. "I'll see you later, Dad." He said, grabbing his keys off of the coffee table.
"Wait." I said taking a step towards him. "Have a seat, I have to tell you something." I moved to sit on the arm of the sofa.
"Alright." He said slowly, doing as I asked. "What do you have to tell me?"
"Jeremiah passed away this morning." I said to him, "While you were sleeping the paramedics came and they took him. Josh and Haylie followed to stay with his body."
"Oh no." He whispered to himself.
"We didn't want to wake you, figured it was best to let you sleep."
"No, no thank you for waiting to tell me. I know he was very sick." Daniel said understanding.
"Yeah." I nodded.
He cleared his throat, trying not to get emotional. "Where's mom?"
"Taking a nap."
"That's good, She hasn't been sleeping much." He said, then stood to his feet. "I'll be right back in case you guys need me. I'll just talk with Hazel while she's on her break. Do you want me to bring anything back?" He asked.
I shook my head no.
"Are you sure? You guys may be hungry later." He asked.
"Thanks, after you visit Hazel, stop by Sue's.. we haven't yet told her or Charlie about Jeremiah."
"Alright, no problem." He said heading out the front door and I looked over as my dad and Caleb came through the back door.
"Grandpa, Did you know that there were numerous films and T.V movies of the Titanic?" Caleb asked my dad as they walked through the kitchen, into the living room.
"Yep, I've seen all of them."
It made me wonder if my mother saw most of the Titanic movies as well before she died. I wonder if there was anything that she ever wanted to do but never had the chance too, other than be a mother to me, Rebecca and Rachel.
"Really, what's your favorite?" Caleb asked as they sat on the couch.
"1960's... The Unsinkable Molly Brown." He answered.
I laughed. Remembering I used to walk in on him and Rebecca watching that old movie.
"I never heard of it." Caleb said, glancing at me.
"It's a musical." I stated. "He only watched it because he has a soft spot for Debbie Reynolds." I smirked.
My dad rolled his eyes.
Caleb laughed. "I've googled odd photos, she was a beauty."
"Indeed." My dad agreed with him. "Well let's watch the 1997 classic." He said, and Caleb grabbed the T.V remote.
Three years ago Leah bought a streaming box that plays television shows and movies from all around the world, it was pretty cool.
I hope she gets some rest, it's going to be a tough few days.