Caleb Black Pov
"Can we watch something else?" Keira asked and I looked over at her on the other couch.
"Already?" I was shocked. "You didn't like watching the news, you didn't want to watch morning cartoons, and you don't want to watch this?" I said lifting the remote to the television.
We were watching Jurassic Park.
"I hate dinosaurs. You know that." She said, pulling at her Candy Crush pajamas. "Let's watch something funny, put on a comedy."
"You know I hate comedy movies, they're all the same. Bad and inconsiderate humor, it's not right to watch movies like that." I say.
"Says the guy who's forcing me to watch extinct animals rip and kill the entire human species." Keira mocks.
I laughed. "Okay… I see your point." For my aunt, she was nothing like the other adults. Maybe because she was a bit younger than Josh.
"Just put on a romance flick, you love those." She stated.
"I know, I was just trying to give you a break."
"No, no break. Don't think that just because we're here staying for a bit, means making us comfortable every minute. We appreciate it, but at the same time we love everything you do, so I am nowhere near tired of the type of movies you watch."
I smiled. "Thank you, I'm glad you guys are comfortable here and love the movies I choose."
They never really stayed nights here, Billy, Kelly and her never needed to stay here this long with us, until now.
"CALEB!" Keira and I heard my dad yell hysterically from his bedroom and we both jumped up from the couch.
Tripping over the blanket that laid on the floor, Keira was halfway down the hall as I trailed behind her.
"CALEB!" My dad yelled again in an even more panic tone.
"Oh my-" Keira said, putting her hands to her mouth looking into my parents bedroom.
"I'm here!" I said running into Keira at the bedroom door. "Sorry-"
"Keira, go get your mom." Dad said completely frightened, as I looked in to see him hovering over mom.
Shaking, Mom grabbed dad's hand holding her stomach in pain. "Jacob.."
"I know, I know. I've got you." Dad said fast cradling her up in his arms. "Caleb, get my keys."
"What's happening?" I said searching the room with my eyes for his keys. Their bed sheets were stained with blood and I knew something was terribly wrong.
"Caleb the keys. Now. " He rushed past me out of the bedroom and I saw his phone on the nightstand with his truck keys right beside them. I grabbed his things and ran out into the hall.
"What's wrong?" Kelly stood with Billy between the kitchen and the living room.
Mom was in pain and bleeding, Kelly is a nurse.
"I need you to come with us to the hospital." My dad said to her, I basically jumped over the living room table and couch to beat him to the front door.
"I'll come too." Keira said, and Billy put a hand on her shoulder.
I opened the front door.
"No, just Kelly and Caleb." Jacob said fast. "Stay here with dad." He said to Keira coming my way and I held the screen door for him and mom.
Running down the porch steps I headed straight for the driveway.
"Caleb you drive, Jacob, you and Leah get in the back." Kelly said from behind us and I opened the backseat door not wondering if dad disagreed with her plan on me driving.
He never ever allowed me to drive his truck.
When dad didn't object, I ran around the truck and hopped in the driver's seat.
"I'll paged the ER to let them know that we're coming and to prepare." Kelly said getting in the backseat also.
"She's losing consciousness." Dad said to Kelly.
"Don't worry. She'll be alright." Kelly said as I started the ignition and backed out of the driveway.
Completely scared out of my mind, I dove down the dirt road, straight for the hospital.
Daniel Black Pov
"Daniel?"
Hazel said as I stepped out of the bathroom. "Yes?"
"I was thinking, How would you feel if we went to Canada for the summer?" She said and I knew this was a plan to get me to warm up to the idea of her attending the University of British Columbia.
"I would say that sounds like a very nice vacation."
"Alright, How would you feel if I say I want to spend the summer there making sure that the university is the one I like?"
"Haz, I'm completely alright with it. I understand Canada is where you want to go, I don't mind."
"Are you sure? I know at first I was so apprehensive about you traveling with your mom, but I really do need this. When I go away from college in two years, I want to be sure I'll love it there." She says.
"It's a great university and I would love to visit for the Summer and the next summer after that." I said pulling her into a hug. "I love you so much and I'll come with you no matter where you chase your dreams."
"Thank you, I really appreciate you saying that." She said happily.
"Good, because I was hoping to come to college along with you." I smiled.
Hazel screamed excitedly. "Really? Shut Up! I thought you wanted to help your dad with the shop?"
I nodded. "I will, whenever he needs me, but it will always be a hobby. That's all. I think I'd like to get more into marketing."
"Yay! I'm so happy. You want to do Marketing, I want to do Journalism. This is perfect." She said, throwing her arms around me once more.
I always knew I wanted to do marketing, it was actually Jeremiah who suggested it when I graduated high school to do something I had a passion for. It's been years, but I can still do the college thing.
I feel a bit guilty about how selfish I've been acting towards Hazel and him. Jeremiah died less than 24 hours ago and I haven't shed a tear. Maybe it hasn't hit me yet. I haven't seen him since last year, I feel it was a lifetime ago that I talked with him, and now he's gone. Even though he spent his last 48 hours in this house, I hadn't gone into the guest room not once to visit him.
"Hey?" Someone knocked on my bedroom door. Hazel and I turned to look.
Grandpa stood at the doorway with Keira.
"We have an emergency." Grandpa Billy said as Hazel took her arms from me.
"What happened?" I asked.
With watery eyes he sighed, something was horribly wrong.
"It's Leah." Billy said.
"Jacob and Kelly just rushed her to the hospital. Sarah and Joshua aren't in their rooms. Where did they go?" Keira asked.
"I don't know, last I saw them they were asleep." I answered honestly.
"We just checked both of their rooms. I don't think anyone has seen any sign of them since last night." Billy said and Hazel held onto my hand.
"When my mom dropped Joshua and Lauren off last night, I overheard them talking about getting up really early to go to the Makah reservation." Hazel said.
"Are you sure?" Billy asked.
"Yes, they were talking about going through Jeremiah's things at his home." Hazel nodded.
"You two, should go find Sarah. Keira and I will wait here for Jacob to call." Billy says.
I nodded. "Alright. Do you want me to call Josh on the way?"
"No, I can do that." Keira said fast.
"Alright, I'll get dressed and head straight for Embry's. Hopefully Sarah is with him." I said to them and they both turned to go down the hall.
I turned to face Hazel. "I'll go downstairs and call my mom at the cafe and ask if she or Quil have seen Sarah. I'll wait for you afterwards."
"Alright." I said to her, moving to go grab some clothes to put on.
Joshua Black Pov
"It's so weird being here now." Lauren said as we sat on Jeremiah's bed.
"It was only two days ago that we were here alone and he was begging me to take him downstairs to watch T.V at three in the morning." She laughed merely to herself. "We stayed up watching 'Gilligan's Island' second season. That show is beyond ridiculous."
I had never really watched that show, but I've seen snips.
"Josh, I don't think I can do this, any of it." She spoke helplessly. I wrapped my arm around her.
"Yes, you can because I will be here with you. You're not alone, and you never will be. I promise." I said holding her close.
"Thank you, it helps so much to know that you're here." Lauren mumbles sniffling.
I cried all yesterday and it felt nice to not feel alone, Haylie helped me a lot by sticking with me. Today I can do that for Lauren.
"To be honest I would rather not be anywhere else." I replied, hugging her. "Jeremiah would want me here with you."
"I know he would. He was so happy to see you. Some days he would forget things, but the day you came to visit… he knew you, and he knew that he missed you. I was so glad at how happy he was." She hugged me tightly.
I nodded, feeling my tears hit her shoulder. I never would have thought I would meet someone like her.
Lauren leaned back. "I'm sorry, I think I have snot on your shirt." She said then laughed with her hand covering her mouth.
I laughed getting up off the bed for some tissue. "It's alright."
"I guess we're both a mess." She said as I walked to the nightstand beside the door. "I can't remember the last time I cried. It's like I cannot stop."
"I know the feeling." I said grabbing a Kleenex box. "Here you go." I said handing her some tissues.
"Thank you." She inhaled, "I wish I knew if he was in pain or not."
"He wasn't. I promise." I said wiping my face with some tissue. "I was with him when he took his last breath. It was peaceful, it was like he was dreaming. It's actually strange, because I woke up early knowing something was going to happen. I wasn't sure what, but I knew that I wanted to spend time with him. I was only in there for an hour before he went."
"I wish I would have been there." She said as I sat back down on the bed.
"He loved you, that's all that matters." I stated.
"I know... and now Jeremiah is in a better place. I love that he lived the life he had." She smiled.
"This may sound selfish of me to say, but I'm happy that I met you. Even though it had to take Jeremiah being sick for me to come here, I see now this is why... because we found each other. At this moment we need to take care of each other." I stated.
Lauren laughed. "I'm happy that I met you too. I'm way older than you are but, you're a great guy Joshua. I like you a lot, even though we've just met."
I smiled back at her. "Same here."
Yesterday, once Embry picked her up from clothes shopping in Forks, they met us at the hospital.
Even with all that went on, the house was quiet last night.
Then when Haylie and Embry went their separate ways, leaving Lauren and I alone to prepare for Jeremiah's wishes.
We let everyone know that he wanted to be cremated without a funeral, and to have his ashes scattered in the ocean.
Mom and I were happy about that, we never liked the idea of funerals. I always felt it was for the living people, anyway... only because most have a hard time letting go and they rather wallow in their sadness for an entire week. Not me, I rather have everything be quick.
As soon as I'm completely dead.. I'd rather my family burn my bones and scatter my ashes somewhere cool.
Hearing the beeping sound of my cell phone, I stood up to grab it from the dresser.
"It may be your parents checking on you, we didn't tell anyone that we were leaving the house this morning." Lauren said, and I knew she had to be right.
On my phone screen read 'Aunt Keira.
Pushing the answer button, I put the phone to my ear.
"Hello?"
"Joshua?" She asked.
"Yeah?"
"It's Keira."
"I know, Hi. What's going on?"
"I don't know how I should say this, but Leah has been rushed to the hospital. Where are you?"
"What? What happened?" I asked.
"I don't know, Jacob and my mom and Caleb are at the hospital with her. How far away are you?"
"I'm with Lauren at Jeremiah's house. I hope she's alright. We can be on our way back now." I spoke, as the fear of my mom being hurt only hours after losing Jeremiah.
"Wait? We have no idea where Sarah is, Have you seen her?" Aunt Keira asked.
"No, not since last night. She's probably with Embry." I guessed.
"Alright, well go straight to the hospital. Me and my dad are staying at the house until Jacob calls." I wonder if grandpa Billy talked to grandma Sue yet. Even though my mom and grandma have an estranged relationship, I'm sure she would want to know.
"Where's Daniel?" I asked through the phone.
"He's with Hazel out looking for Sarah. She doesn't have a cell phone, so there's no telling where she's at."
"Don't worry, there's not many places on the reservations she could be."
"Maybe you're right." Aunt Keira agreed. "Text message me when you get to the hospital."
"No problem. Tell me when or if Sarah shows up at the house."
"Alright." Keira spoke.
"Alright, bye." I said looking at Lauren as I hung up the phone.
"What's wrong?" Lauren asked.
"My mom was rushed to the hospital."
"Oh no." She said standing from the bed. "What happened?"
I shrugged my shoulders. "I have no idea. We have to get to the hospital."
Lauren nodded. "I hope she's alright."
"Me too." I said as she followed me out of Jeremiah's bedroom.
*Few Hours Later*
Jacob Black Pov
Opening my eyes to the beeping sound of the heart monitor beside me. I laid in Leah's hospital bed with her unconsciously in my arms.
When we arrived the surgeons didn't hesitate to work on her. They knew exactly what was happening to her, I knew too.
She had a miscarriage. Only fourteen weeks pregnant, the doctors were fast on performing a Cesarean section. Kelly gave them a heads-up which helped a lot.
Before I dozed off Leah opened her eyes for a second, but it was clear she was too drained to keep up with what was happening.
This was the one thing at the top of situations I never wanted to be in.
I wasn't sure of how I should feel.
It was only 24-hours ago that I found out Leah was pregnant, and now she's not.
I was starting to enjoy and love the idea of a new baby in the house. Leah and I had another life to share with this world.
Who wouldn't want something that was part of them, and part of the person they loved? And man do I love her. I had just decided to raise our pup alone for a couple months, while Leah went on her book tour after she gave birth. Looks like that's not happening.
Glaring over at the hospital painting of yellow flowers in a blue basket, I wish Leah was awake to talk to me. To tell me she loves me and to tell me she's alright, but of course she wouldn't be, we just lost a baby.
When she wakes she'll probably hate me.
"In a strange way, I'm so in love with you and our life that I looked forward to this baby to have you close to me. I know it's stupid to think. Even before you left four months ago, I felt you slipping away from me." I admitted.
"I remember back to when we had Sarah, I had no clue that you were pregnant then either. Not until that night you were attacked and had to get a C-section for the first time. Even if you hadn't been pregnant with Sarah, I would have come back and hoped to have another once we figured everything out. My heart is always with you. I was willing to permanently be alone with our baby if it meant you continuing your dream. I still want that." I whispered to myself. "It sucks for something to die before it even has a chance to live. I'm not ashamed to say I feel angry." I confess. "I feel angry that losing our baby is causing us to be here in this room. I can't imagine not knowing what it was... A girl like you, or A boy like me, or would it be nothing like us?" I paused. "Thinking of Joshua, Daniel, Caleb and Sarah I never thought once if one of them would die. I never thought once if one of them would get sick, or not make it past a certain age." I sighed. "I hate thinking of this crap. Death, pain, stuff like this... I... just never want to think of it. All I know is that I won't allow this to kill us." I whispered kissing the top of Leah's head. "To keep us from living or believing this world isn't fair, we both know that it isn't."
Leah is the strongest woman I know, and the most beautiful inside and out.
"I'm sorry. This codependency I have in this marriage.. I sometimes creep myself out." I whispered to her. "I admit... my thoughts yesterday about you and the baby at first weren't all good." I said even though she still couldn't hear me. "I am selfish. When it comes to you... I always am and sometimes I hate it." I breathed. "My doubt was never the thought of having another person to take care of, it was the thought of not having you all to myself. I was afraid that a baby means less of you and I. Sorry, that makes me a bit heartless. I love you so much and everyday I wake up and you're not here, it makes me crazy. I can't breathe without you and it's like you didn't even care. The day you came home you made me feel like I didn't matter, but I now understand everything. What you were going through. I never wanted to get in between you and your dream, I just wanted to be a part of it, to be honest. Mostly just to be intertwined with you." I paused thinking of how insecure I sound. How insecure I've always been. How insecure I felt she always made me.
"I need you and I wasn't ever afraid to tell you. When Daniel told me about the baby, I was very skeptical about it. I was even more excited because it would mean you'll be here, home with me. I feel guilty and sad now. With the baby gone, and nothing I could do to make it better. There was nothing we could do for each other. The baby didn't get a chance to meet us… or Josh, or Daniel, or Caleb, or Sarah… but you felt him or her. You're the lucky one, because for a second … our baby was yours. Your secret. I'm jealous that it lived inside you those months you were gone. I'm jealous it was the reason you stopped your dream for a minute. I'm jealous it was only here long enough for us to want it, long enough for us to anticipate it… and I'm so angry that it's gone. I'm so angry that I didn't get a chance to love it like I love you." I hate every second of this. Feeling the tears fall, I didn't want to move to wipe them away. I just continued to hold Leah close to me.
"I guess the better way to think is... the baby isn't gone… She or he… just went to be with our parents. Let's think of my mom being alone ...until your dad passed away... and now they both have a piece of us, our baby keeping them company."
Leah's body moved from beneath me, and I surely looked down as she sat up.
With tears in her eyes, I wondered if she heard any word I just said.
"I love you so much, Jacob. I'm so sorry." She breathed. "You can put the blame all on me. You should never feel guilty for us. I promise I'm just as dependent and selfish, that's why we work so well. You've always been so good to me, even when I'm not there, making me love you. I'm sorry this happened." She kissed me, then put her arms around me tightly and I hugged her back.
She was awake, and she didn't hate me. I'd do anything to take this pain away, but something tells me it won't ever go.
Squeezing her as tight as I could, she wrapped her arms around my waist.
After so many years together, each day I've only learned to love her in different ways. "I'm sorry." I said it one last time so she knew that I meant it.
Brushing her hair as she sobbed in my chest, I knew this was something that needed to happen.
This was something life conjured perpetually at this moment. Still unsure why, but I remained angry, and thankful.
"Whenever something bad happens, I just always have to tell myself that this is happening for a reason, and I have to be learning something from this and taking something away from it, so it won't happen again." I don't want this to happen again. "We just have to think about the big picture, and how we have to remember just how small we are in the grand scheme of things, and that in the long run, we are going to be alright- eventually." I breathed.
Leah, I knew, was aware of this. Knowing that no matter what, we'll always have each other to face whatever is thrown at us.
"We Quileutes are known for our strength and loyalty, and the never ending bond that we carry even onto and for the next generations." I say kissing the top of Leah's head again, she was done sobbing and was quiet. We are one, and we are champions.
She sighed, resting her head against my chest, and I planted yet another kiss on her head. I adored her more than I've ever done anything in my life. She is my life.
"One day when we're old and gray sitting outside on our porch swing. You will look at me and say 'It's been a good life with you, and all our grandpups will visit, and laugh about how cruel life is... We will picture this moment and so many others, because this would be one that didn't break us." I said low.
"I can see that, and our baby will be a dream we share to meet again. Like our parents." Leah agreed.
"Yeah, in the next life, and I know there's a next life just like there's a heaven. It has to be...Where he or she will wait for us to join." I breathed. "We can't be sad or angry, we'll just be living and waiting together." I whispered, strumming my fingers against the soft skin of her arm. "In time, we will live with this and our baby will be with our parents, taking care of one another." I said.
Leah took a deep breath.
I knew I didn't have to say anything else. All I had to do was just hold her.
I only wanted to comfort her.
Leaning away from me Leah shifted her body, laying her back against my chest and I knew she was done crying.
"Thank you." She whispered resting her head on my neck. "I love you so much." She says again. It couldn't ever be as much as I loved her. "It was so overwhelming, yet you made it breathable. Like you always do." She said entwining her fingers with mine.
I smiled, kissing the top of her head. I loved her so much, I never want to see her in pain.
Sarah Black Pov
Sitting on a piece of wood, I looked out at the ocean waves digging my bare feet in the sand.
It was cold today, but I couldn't go to school or stay home.
I woke up and wasn't able to go back to sleep, so I walked here. First Beach has always been the place to go for peace and quiet.
You never know how much you love being alone until it's needed.
In a strange way I've been avoiding everyone.
"Hey, What happened to Romeo?" I heard someone say from behind me and I glanced over my shoulder just as Ethan with his gel hair style still intact, sat beside me.
Wearing a black t-shirt and cutoff pants, his feet were also bare.
"Nothing happened." I mumbled.
"At the dance you look pretty cozy together."
"None of that matters." I said not caring.
"Did you tell him how you feel?" He asked, speaking about Embry.
I nodded.
"And?"
"I lost my virginity to him."
"What?" He said completely shocked.
"Last night, after the dance. He regretted it the second it happened."
"How could- I mean why? What do you mean?" He stuttered.
I sighed. "After Embry and I left the dance... we went to his house and watched a movie. When it ended.. I didn't want to go home. The night was so magical I wanted it to continue, so I asked him to be my first. When we got intimate it was great, then soon he acted really strange and distant. He hated it. He hated me. He hated me, for forcing him to make me happy." I said, trying to erase the mental photo in my head of Embry's face last night.
"Don't say that, Sarah." Ethan said fast. "The first time is always awkward."
"No. It's true. It wasn't awkward. He hated it. I made a mistake."
"No," Ethan disagreed. "I'm sure he's just … I don't know… but I'm sure he doesn't regret it. You did what most kids do."
"You didn't see the look on his face. You didn't see the way he was when he drove me home. It was like I disgusted him."
"I'm so sorry." Ethan said, lowering his head. "That's... not how that should have happened."
Through the tears I looked at him. "Why are you being so nice to me?" Usually he'll be all tough love, witty and I told you so. "Why aren't you rubbing it in my face?"
"I'm not that horrible, Sarah." He said with a straight face. "I like you and I see your hurt. I would never find pleasure in that."
I sighed. "I should have listened to you... maybe it would have been better if Embry would have stood me up. I could have handled that... but this... this really hurts."
"Maybe you did make a mistake. We all make them." He said low.
I nodded. "It was too soon wasn't it?"
"No." Ethan disagreed. "You just did it with the wrong guy. Don't ever regret something that you felt was right to you."
At this moment he seemed way older than I could imagine.
"I mean I did feel weird after, but only because he didn't kiss me back. I actually felt amazing. Now, I just feel horrible about it all." I say honestly.
"Did he say that or was he just acting really strange?"
"Both...kinda. Last night I could tell he felt guilty, and I guess I don't blame him. I was willing to move past it until he asked me to not tell anyone. Not that I would, but Hazel would have been the only one."
"That makes no sense. If he loved you like he said he did, last night would have been special for the both of you. You gave yourself to him and he's just throwing that away for nothing." He said and I ran my hands through my hair. "That had to be crushing for him to ask you not to mention it."
"Yeah, majorly. I thought he was my soulmate. I'm his imprint, he should love me."
"Maybe he's not ready." He said.
"Or maybe his soulmate is whoever he has a connection with... maybe Amy is a better fit for him. They both work together."
"My sister? No way."
"I'm actually understanding it now. He likes her, they have a lot in common with work and stuff. I act like a spoiled brat and now that's all he sees." I stated.
"You do not act like a spoiled brat, Sarah. Why did you even allow him to put that in your head? If he doesn't want you... there's nothing else you can do but move on."
"That's easier said than done." I mumbled.
"Don't I know. You just have to find someone who understands you." He stated.
"I'm sorry. I'm sitting here crying about myself forgetting you have problems also."
"No. No. Honestly, I'd rather deal with your issues than face mine. At least then I won't feel too much of a hopeless cause, besides you always cry about your problems and forget about everyone else." He says with a smile.
I sighed. "I just wanted to get it over with, and he's the one I wanted to share it with." I admitted.
"Well you did and there's no point in dwelling. So let's go hangout at my place and eat and watch movies."
"It won't help. I'll still be pathetic." I mumbled.
All I can remember is last night with Embry.
After he and I got in from the dance we watched a movie and ordered food. It was one of the best moments in a very long time.
Feeling the tears fall down my face I could no longer control them.
"Hey." Ethan said, putting his hand on my shoulder. I didn't care if he saw my tears. "Don't cry." I shook my head trying to find my voice but couldn't. "It's gonna be okay, even if it doesn't feel that way right now. Everything is going to work out." He said pulling me into a hug.
I didn't hesitate to squeeze his body close to mine.
"I know the wolf-gene kicked in but try not to crush me, it would be nice to tell my brother about this embrace." He joked.
"You're just saying that to make me feel better."
He was skinnier than Embry, and not as warm.
I sobbed at how pointless my life is.
Why was this happening to me?
"Is it working?" He asked.
"No." I let out a huge breath.
Ethan leaned back and I loosened my arms from him.
"Sarah, as a friend." He said wiping my face clean with his palms. "I will only say this once, if Embry can't see how beautiful you really are, then he does not deserve you."
I closed my eyes.
"You seriously have no idea how hot you are, and the way you looked last night at the dance... made me crazy." He whispered and I reopened my eyes.
I stared at him in shock.
Why did he just say that? Why would he say that? Out of pity? Was it to make me feel better?
"I want so badly to hate him... but it's like my mind won't let me, it's like it's telling me to cry instead." I say.
"I understand but you still deserve so much more." He says, and feels his hand on my cheeks. "Like me." With his voice low, leaning his mouth towards mine.
I froze.
His lips were cold, wet and soft.
I didn't move as he kissed me.
Instead I pulled him closer as it felt nice.
"What the hell!" We both jumped startled.
Embry was there moving from the trees, looking angrily at Ethan and I.
Ethan, then me stood up.
"Great. Come to break her into a million pieces again?" Ethan said as Embry came forward.
Not saying a word Embry growled, grabbing Ethan by the shirt and throwing him to the sand.
"Stop!" I yelled as Ethan dropped down hard.
Embry turned to glare at me.
"I can believe you. Kissing him."
I just looked at Ethan who remained down on the sand.
I didn't know what to say.
"She can do what she wants."
"Shut Up. You don't get to talk." Embry growled, getting ready to kick Ethan.
"Leave him alone." I managed to say and Ethan stood up.
"Go." Embry yelled to him.
Ethan glanced at me. "You know where you find me."
I only nodded, and then he walked towards the way Embry came.
My guess is he was going home.
"I can't believe you." Embry said to me after Ethan disappeared.
I just looked at his blue and brown plaid shirt and black jeans.
Must be nice to get up and get dressed in the morning after breaking someone in half.
I still had on the clothes he gave me after we had sex.
"Aren't you going to explain yourself?" He said pissed, waiting for me to show some type of emotion.
I just stared at him.
"Why would you do this?" He asked.
"He kissed me." I responded low.
Embry tossed his hands in the air upset. "I saw." He yelled.
I wasn't sure what else there was for me to say.
"So after one night you just decide to go off and kiss that punk?"
"Just stop." I whispered, too tired to fight with him.
I couldn't fight with him anymore.
I was tired and sad.
Embry made me so unhappy, yet Ethan... he just...I don't... not like him.
I could never be with Ethan. I would be only toying with his heart, out of the fact that he cares for me more.
Yet, it's clear I can't be with Embry either.
I wish to start over differently. I don't want this life any more with him in it.
I don't care anymore.
I don't want to be his imprint. I didn't care to fight with him.
He hurt me for the last time.
Embry sighed.
"Sarah, your mom is in the hospital... and I came to find you because everyone is looking for you, and you're here with him." He said in a much calmer tone.
"Why?" I asked. "Why is she in the hospital?"
"I think your dad needs to tell you that." He said and I glared out towards the ocean water.
Why was my mom in the hospital?
Why didn't he want to tell me?
Was she sick?
Did she have cancer or something?
Oh no.
What if she's dying?
We just lost Jeremiah, we can't lose her too.
"Come on, I'll take you." Embry said getting ready to move and I shook my head no.
"No." I said and he paused. "I'm not going."
"Sarah, come on."
"No, I'm not going anywhere with you." I stated.
"Sarah, I'm not kidding around."
"No. I said no. Just leave me alone. If going to the hospital is so important then I'll ask Ethan."
"Ethan?" He said upset. "You can't trust him, Sarah."
"I trust him better than you." I snapped.
Embry flinched like I slapped him.
"Fine. Go. Go ask Ethan to take you to the hospital, just don't come crying to me when he disappoints you." He said and stormed away.
I didn't turn to look after Embry.
I hate him.
I hate how he makes me feel.
I just will never be good enough for him. Ever.
Why am I not good enough?
I tried to give him space, I tried to give him love, I tried to show him how I feel.
What's wrong with me that I'm not good enough for him to love?
Hearing the sound of seagulls on the cliffs, I looked up.
The sky was cloudy and still blue.
If I could fly away from here I would go somewhere new.
I can imagine how at peace Jeremiah is right now.
He doesn't have to feel pain or hurt.
All he feels is nothing.
"I wish I could feel nothing."
Walking through the bushes towards the cliffs, I looked to the sand as it turned into dirt as I got closer to the top.
Moving up the hill, there were once flowers on the path. Now just dead weeds.
I never really came up here unless it was the summer time.
It was nearing spring and I wish dying was as easy as falling asleep. Like, when the weather goes from spring into summer.
Dying is natural in life.
People think dying is the hardest part at the end, but it's in fact living... Living is the jam.
It's painful to say goodbye to someone you don't want to let go, but more painful to ask someone to stay when you know they want to leave.
He's going to go and there's nothing I can do about it. No one can love me like I would like.
I didn't want to fight anymore.
I was lightheaded.
I was cold.
I wanted it all to be over.
I needed peace.
I want peace.
I didn't even bother to admire the deep blue water beneath me.
I raised my chin towards the moon and the sun, closing my eyes as the wind picked up.
I didn't scream as I leaped off the cliff.
I gasped, with my breath held in the blowing light rain.
I was the girl who was never afraid of heights, I didn't roll up into a ball like most would for a swimming pool.
I turned my body to face the starry sky.
Guess you could say, I was free falling with style.
Embry Call Pov
Sitting in my car for what seemed like minutes.
I stressed over what I just saw.
If only I could burn the picture from my mind.
Why did she kiss him?
Why did he think it was okay to kiss her?
She was mine, not his.
Or was she?
I messed up.
I shouldn't have allowed last night to happen.
I loved her so much I would have agreed to do anything to keep her happy.
None of it was her fault.
I'm the one who wasn't ready to go that far.
I shouldn't have made her feel bad about it.
That's why she kissed him.
That's why she allowed him to kiss her.
I made her feel unwanted.
I didn't mean to make her feel unwanted.
"SARAH!" I heard someone yell and I glared out my car window.
Quil ran across the parking lot, and I beeped the horn.
He didn't stop running.
I got out of my cruiser just in time to see him diving into mid-air, shifting into a wolf as he hit the ocean water.
I looked across the beach to where Sarah just was but no one was there.
"Oh no." I breathed. She couldn't have gone into the water that fast.
It was chilly.
Why would she go swimming?
She only gets into the water when it's warm, but the summer season hasn't yet hit.
Running towards the water where Quil disappeared, I jumped over the small bushes but didn't see him.
There was no one else on the beach, it was empty.
"Embry!" I heard someone behind me and I turned.
Claire ran towards me. "Where are they? Did he find her?"
"Who?" I asked.
"Sarah! Quil and I saw her dive right off the cliff. SHE'S OUT HERE!" She panicked.
I shook my head. "What?"
No.
"I would've heard her scream." I said knowing for a fact that I didn't hear a thing after I left her moments ago.
"There! Look!" She said pointing and turned towards the water.
A brown furred head popped out of the water as we ran straight ahead.
"It couldn't have been Sarah. She left." I stated.
"Daniel is looking for her. If she left, where would she have gone?" Claire asked.
"Ah, she and I got into a fight. I don't know."
"About what?" She asked.
I shook my head not wanting to answer. "She can't be the one that jumped." I hoped. "She just can't be."
Swimming back to the shore in his wolf form, Quil carried a girl with short dark cut hair with his teeth.
Moving into the water my heart stopped realizing it was in fact Sarah. She was wearing the black shirt and shorts I gave her last night.
"NO." I yelled.
This was all my fault.
I made this happen.
She wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me.
How could this happen?
"Oh my goodness. Is she breathing?" Claire said as Quil was in arms reached and I took Sarah from his mouth.
Her body was cold, wet and light.
"I have to do cardiopulmonary resuscitation." I said putting Sarah to the sand, even though she wasn't fully out of the water yet.
Quil shifted and Claire handed him her jacket.
"Her arm is broken, she must have hit it on a shallow rock." Quil said and I placed my hands in the middle of her chest, I pushed hard and fast.
"Be careful." Claire pleaded.
"I know what i'm doing." I snapped.
Pausing to tilt Sarah's head back slightly and lifting her chin, I pinch her nose shut and place my mouth over hers... breathing air into her.
"We should get help. We should get to the Emergency Room." Quil stated.
"Sarah? Open your eyes." I begged lifting my head to once again press my hands hard against her chest.
"She's unconscious." Claire stated.
"No." I said to him and her both, my vision blurry from tears I had no idea was there. I shook them away. "No, Come on," I ordered, pressing my palms against her chest.
The salt burned my lungs. "I need to get the water from her throat, all she has to do is catch a breath."
"Embry, it's not working. Claire go get the car." Quil said.
"She'll be fine. She'll be fine." I practically yelled.
"Embry, easy. Her body is fragile, even after she phased."
"Don't you think I know that?" I barked back at him, but continued.
I know if I press down too hard I'll break something.
She shifted a few days ago, but yet it was like her body wasn't supernatural at all.
I figured it out last night when we were in my bed.
She was fragile again. Last night she was fragile and now... now... it was what I feared most that I would do to her...
I've killed her.
I've killed my best friend.
My life.
Shaking at the same time trying to remain focused. "Ba..baby. Bre...breathe." My voice breaks frantically, with anxiety, anger and fear. "Come on."
"Embry. We have to get her to the hospital. Now."
"I... I.. can do this. I can.. save her... here."
"No, Embry. Dude, come on. You can not." Quil said, grabbing my arm. "If you don't pick her up and take to the car right now. I will." He said and I growled, stopping, to grip Sarah's cold body in my arms.
I cannot live without her. I thought, running to where his car was waiting with Claire inside of it.