Okay, first of all…
I suddenly have a huge burst of motivation to write this. You can only wonder why…
Have I gotten over SVU's promo? Absolutely not. I literally almost fell out of bed when I saw it, and I can't explain the feeling. It was like I felt all the emotions at once.
Some might say I have a problem, but if that's the case, right now this feels like the best problem in the world. And I'm glad to say that I'm probably not alone :D
So… Let's cherish these next two weeks inside this magical EO bubble. We all deserve this!
xoxo

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"I'll stay until you fall asleep."

And even though Elliot didn't want to fall asleep, sleep involuntarily began to wrap him in its soft embrace. And there, in his partner's arms, he no longer felt the squirming tentacles of panic inside him.

All he felt was peace.

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Olivia wasn't sure how long she had been zoned out, but she had managed to sink so deep into her own thoughts and world that Fin's exclamation made her startle. She slammed her knee to the open desk drawer, and she had to close her eyes and grit her teeth to keep herself from cursing out loud.

Opening her eyes a few seconds later, she realized that Fin had stopped to look at her, causing the others to focus on her as well. The pain was still throbbing in her knee, but she swallowed it and asked:

"Sorry, what did you say?"

"You okay?" Fin's gaze was evaluating, and for some reason it made the anger flare up inside Olivia. She was sick of all her colleagues seeming to move around her as if she were fragile glass that could shatter at any moment. She was sick of constantly feeling someone's eyes on her back, like she was a child who needed to be watched over all the time.

She just wanted everything to be normal.

"Yeah, just… This…" She kicked the desk drawer shut with her foot harder than necessary, and the whole desk swayed from the kick's force. "Goddamn drawer…" She began, but realizing that right now, she was not at least strengthening her colleagues' faith in her state of mind, she crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. "So, did you find anything?"

"Um… Yeah," Fin looked at her for a couple of seconds, but then turned his eyes to his notepad. "The forensic investigation called. They have found out that at least the audio track of the surveillance camera video has been edited. It's obviously been added to it afterwards, as has some of the footage, but it's done so elaborately that they haven't been able to decipher it. Don't ask me," he shook his head as he noticed the questioning looks of the others. "I may be smart, but this is beyond my skills."

"Everything depends on the scale," Munch huffed and received a murderous look from his partner.

"If I were you, I would keep my mouth shut, Mr. "why are the camera pictures black", while at the same time you're holding your finger over the lens."

Munch glared at him, crossed his arms, but said nothing. Despite her state of mind, Olivia could tell that for some reason, the air between Fin and Munch seemed more tense than usual, but she didn't have the energy to take an interest in the matter further. However, when her colleagues just continued to glare at each other, she sighed:

"So, Fin, did you have any more new information?"

"Not really. However, the forensic investigation asked for help in finding out why Elliot's fingerprints were on the gun. Even if they could dig up the original video, his fingerprints are still on the murder weapon, and the video may not reveal the why."

Olivia snorted in frustration and turned back to her desk. As if they hadn't already tried to find out everything possible about the case. However, all the attempts up until now had been nothing but dead ends.

But just as she was about to sink back into her own world with the case files again, she heard Cragen's voice:

"Benson! My office!"

She lifted her head and looked at Fin and Munch, who glanced at her, then at each other, and Fin shook his head as he started to head towards the coffee maker. Olivia frowned but got up and walked into her captain's office where Cragen asked her to close the door. A silence descended on the office, and Olivia didn't like at all.

"What's up? Have you heard anything from Elliot?" She asked nervously, but Cragen shook his head.

"No, but I think that's a good thing. This time, however, it's not about him... At least not directly. Fin and John already know, and as you may have noticed, they don't completely agree on this, but it is what it is. I have no other options."

"Okay... So what do you…"

"We have chosen Elliot's replacement. Your new partner starts tomorrow."

Even though Olivia had been expecting this, knowing it was only a matter of time, Cragen's announcement was like a slap in the face. Tears immediately welled up in her eyes, and she had to close them, swallowing hard.

"Your new partner."

She didn't want a new partner.

She already had one.

"Cap…"

"I know, Olivia. And I'm sure you know that I wouldn't have wanted to do this, but as I said, it is what it is. This is a police unit; we're supposed to help victims, and we can't shut down the whole place because of just one person. I know this is difficult for you, and since I'm not a gullible fool, I don't expect you to like this either, but I do expect you to be professional, and to welcome our new detective appropriately.

"I…"

However, it was as if the captain had read her like an open book and known that she was about to protest, because he didn't allow her to answer.

"His name is Robin Bailey: he is an experienced detective who transfers here from the Bronx homicide unit. But even though he's experienced, he hasn't worked much with special victims, so I'm expecting you to help him get off to a smooth start. Is this clear?"

Olivia didn't know what to answer; she would have wanted to scream, to stand up to her captain, to tell him to tell this Robin to go back to the Bronx. She didn't want to see him, much less get to know him or teach him, to play his partner.

At the same time, though, she knew Cragen was right. He had had no choice. But the thought of how easily Elliot was replaceable made tears burn in her throat. Elliot, who was in prison innocently, against his will.

Because of her.

"Olivia?" Cragen's words seemed to come from somewhere far away, and she forced herself to speak.

"I… Um…"

However, she had to close her mouth, because opening it had almost caused a sob to escape from her throat. She couldn't break down, not now that her captain expected her to be able to act professionally and push her personal feelings aside.

That was what she was supposed to do.

That was what she had always been supposed to do.

Despite the fact that she hadn't always done so.

However, Cragen seemed to notice her struggle, and his voice softened:

"Now, go home, eat, sleep, and process this. Because tomorrow I expect you to be here in the morning to meet your new partner."

Without saying a word, Olivia nodded and stood up. She wasn't going home, her home was currently a shabby hotel room near the station, but even that was better than stay to stare at Elliot's desk, knowing that the next day, an unknown man would sit at it, break its sacredness, and erase all evidence of her partner's existence. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw all heads turn towards her as she opened the door, but she didn't care, her feet carried her to her desk, she shut down her computer and grabbed her coat from the edge of the chair. And just as she was about to head towards the door, she heard Fin's voice behind her:

"Liv, I... I'm sorry. I told Munch that it's not right to interview anyone now that we're one step closer to acquitting Stabler, but…"

"It's okay, Fin," Olivia's voice was hoarse, a sob was choking her throat, and she could barely hold back tears. "It's okay."

And then she turned on her heel and walked out the door.

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Frost was pinching Olivia's tear-soaked cheeks as she strode down the sidewalk towards the hotel. She had lost the battle against crying immediately when she had stepped out of the station doors, but now, almost at the front door, the crying had subsided, and turned into some overall emptiness.

The police officer waiting for her outside the station had asked her into the car, but she had wanted nothing more than to be alone, and apparently her sobbing plea to walk to the hotel had made the police officer insecure enough that he had agreed. All the way, however, Olivia had felt the eyes of the cop on her back, sensed the police car that had followed her like a shadow, and when the hotel had finally come into view, she had let out a sigh of relief.

She had expected the police officer to come and escort her to the door of the apartment, but instead he stayed to talk to the cop guarding the house. As if on autopilot, she dragged herself inside, climbed the stairs and reached out to open the door. The lock clicked open, and with the last of her strength she stepped inside. Her dead tired body was begging for sleep, but her mind had gotten stuck in overdrive, and for the past few weeks, it had had other plans. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd slept more than 5 hours straight, and it was slowly starting to show, both mentally and physically.

Thinking only of a hot shower and a soft bed, she dropped her keys on the hall table and began to open her jacket with a sigh.

But then she heard it.

There was a thump in the bedroom.

The sound wasn't loud, but clear enough to make the blood freeze in Olivia's veins. In her mind, she cursed herself, because her gun was in the bedroom, and if anyone was in the apartment, her loud return home must not have gone unnoticed. Heart pounding, she estimated how quickly she would make it out into the street if she started running now, but she didn't dare trust her estimate, especially when she didn't know how vigilant the cop guarding outside would be.

And then she made a decision.

She had to attack.

But she had to do it soon.

Holding her breath, she listened for a couple of seconds, pursed her lips, and so quietly, but at the same time, as quickly as she could, she darted into the kitchen, grabbed a vase from the table, took a few steps towards the bedroom, and placed herself by the door so that any intruder in the bedroom could not see her. Why the intruder still hadn't left the bedroom, despite having probably heard her, was a mystery, but she didn't have time to stay and analyze the situation further. This time, thanking herself for not bothering to clean up, she picked up a book from the floor, swallowed hard, and threw the book towards the front door, hoping it would attract the intruder's attention.

It was quiet for a couple of seconds, so quiet that Olivia was afraid the sound of her own, furiously beating heart would expose her. But then she heard a step, another, and she braced herself for the attack.

And then the figure appeared from the bedroom, and without a moment's hesitation, she mustered all her strength and slammed the vase on the figure's head. It shattered with a bang, pieces flew around the room, and for a couple of horrible seconds she thought that her plan hadn't worked. But then the figure faltered, took a step forward, and finally fell to the floor with a heavy crash.

With shaking hands, Olivia dug the phone out of her pocket and dialed the number of the police officer outside the hotel. The phone rang a few times, and at the same time she leaned over to the intruder, checked his pulse and exhaled deeply. A large man, estimated to be 40 years old, was lying completely unconscious on the floor, a small trickle of blood was flowing from his temple where the vase had hit, but he was alive.

"Hello? Detective Benson?" The cop's voice came over the phone, and Olivia squeezed her eyes shut.

"I need backup," her voice was weak, and she had to catch her breath before continuing: "I've have caught a suspect."

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Olivia was sitting on the edge of the sidewalk, a blanket around her, when Cragen, Munch, and Fin arrived with tires screeching. Although she wasn't particularly cold, her body was shivering all over, and involuntarily her memories wandered back to the moment she had waited for the ambulance with Elliot the night they had escaped from the club.

How much she wished he was here now too.

"Liv! She heard Fin's exclamation immediately as her three colleagues got out of the car, and she quickly wiped the lone tear from her cheek. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she stood up and wrapped the blanket tighter around herself. "I'm fine."

"What the hell happened?" Cragen was striding towards her with a look of disbelief on his face.

"I… I got home, and he was there," Olivia closed her eyes and tried to cover the storm of emotions inside her by scratching her forehead. "I didn't have a gun, I knocked him out with a vase. He is in the ambulance, but the cops are watching him," she pointed to the ambulance in front of the hotel and fell silent. She watched as Cragen's expression began to darken, a flame of anger ignited in his eyes, and he began to search for the cops who had been standing guard outside the hotel.

"Goddamn it, how is it possible that this is already the second time..." His voice had lowered to a disbelieving growl, and his sentence was interrupted when he noticed the guarding cops and started marching towards them with his hands clenched into fists. Olivia was following him with her eyes and therefore didn't notice Fin reach out his hand to place it on her shoulder. The surprising touch felt like a powerful electric shock had passed through her body, and she flinched violently as she stepped aside. Fin's hand remained in place in the air, an indecipherable emotion, maybe sadness, flashed in his eyes, and embarrassment flared inside Olivia.

This wasn't her.

She needed to get her shit together.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I'm…"

However, Fin interrupted him by waving his hand and then shoving them into his jacket pockets.

"You don't have to apologize," his voice was soft but firm. "Look around you, Liv. You have every right to be a wreck because you are a victim too. I know you want to help your partner, but you have to remember that he was framed, you are the one who was tried to rape. You're the one whose hotel room was broken into. You can't forget yourself while helping others," Fin's shoulders had slumped, as if a heavy weight was weighing on him as he spoke to her, and Olivia had to look away as tears began to burn in her eyes again.

"You are a victim."

It was a fact she hadn't wanted to admit to herself. Not now, when her full focus was on Elliot, on helping him. Her own role as a victim was something she'd pushed aside, decided to process it once she'd gotten her partner out of prison, and even though she knew it wasn't a good idea in the long run, she wasn't about to give up.

Not yet.

That's why she crossed her arms, opened her mouth to protest, but didn't have time to say a word before Cragen jogged towards them.

"Did you beat their asses?" Munch asked, narrowing his eyes, and Cragen gave him a dark look.

"Wanted to. I don't know where on eBay these cops got their badges from, and I'll make sure they won't get off scott-free. But we found out something else. Something we have been longing for."

"What?" A small spark of hope had ignited within Olivia as she had watched her captain, who turned his gaze on her, and for the first time in weeks, there was something new in his eyes. There was light in them.

"That man is one of Reed's henchmen."

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Despite Olivia's protests, Cragen had told her to stay at the hotel, and the only reason that had really made her stay was her body, which had begun to grow exponentially tired as the adrenaline had begun to subside in her veins. Although she didn't think she'd gotten a wink of sleep, she felt better in the morning, and when she finally walked through the station doors, she felt like she had more energy than she'd had in a long time.

"Hey, John," she greeted as she dropped her bag on her chair. "Is there any new information about the perp?"

Munch looked appraisingly at his colleague, but there was a glimmer of amusement in his eyes. "Morning to you too. You okay?"

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" Olivia raised her eyebrows and started heading towards the coffee maker, while Munch followed her with his eyes and shook his head slightly.

"Yeah, silly me. Why wouldn't you?" He snorted, but then decided to let it be for now, picking up the paper from his desk and holding it out to her. Olivia sipped her coffee, took the paper from him and began to read it as she walked back to her desk. "Jacob Hall, a 43-year-old businessman from Brooklyn. With a background of financial crimes and threats, he was fired from the company where he was a supervisor a year ago. After that, his information is a bit vague, maybe at that point he went on a criminal path."

Olivia nodded. "And have you find out yet in what way he is connected to Reed?"

"Well, he hasn't spoken yet, but at least his phone has revealed that he was in contact with his boss a moment before breaking into your hotel room."

Olivia opened her computer and nodded again. "Okay. Where is Cragen? I inform him that I am going to interrogate this Jacob, but first…"

"Well, you won't do that," Munch's expression was surprised and determined at the same time, and Olivia looked up from her computer.

"And why is that so?"

"I'm surprised you're even asking. You are too close to this case, and Cragen does not trust you to deal professionally with suspects at the moment."

Munch's announcement was so fast and honest that Olivia lost her ability to speak for a moment and just stared at her colleague, whose gaze and body language were so firm, so unwavering that she knew there was no point in protesting. And since she couldn't think of anything sensible to say at that moment, she turned her gaze back to her computer and opened an email from an unknown address.

But then she frowned. The email was short, only one sentence long, with a video attached.

"The grapes are from France."

She quickly glanced around, but Munch had apparently gone to the bathroom, and she didn't see Fin or Cragen, so she made a decision and clicked the video.

And then her heart felt like it stopped.

It was the video from the club's surveillance camera.

The video started the same way as the one Cragen had shown them and continued the same way until Julia revealed that she knew their true identities. Even though Olivia had watched the video countless times trying to find some clues, Julia's body pressed against her partner's still made an inexplicable feeling slither in her stomach.

"Where's she?"

"Well, we could say that she is taken care of. Don't worry, Detective Stabler."

But then something changed. Elliot no longer stood still, instead he jerked himself out of Julia's grip and rushed to the door almost immediately.

And then she saw it. The moment Elliot turned his back, an unknown man appeared from the furthest bathroom stall with a gun in his hand. Julia's eyes were on Elliot, she didn't seem to be aware of the man behind her, and when she took a couple of steps towards the bathroom door, the gun fired. Julia fell to the ground, the shooter quickly retreated back into the bathroom stall, and managed to get out of sight just before Elliot, who had apparently thought Julia had shot at him, turned and leapt over to her to check her pulse. All this time, the shooter sat unmoved on the toilet seat, leaning his legs against the wall, and waited.

And then Elliot disappeared out the door, and the video ended.

Olivia was sitting on her chair, staring at the frozen screen, her ears buzzing. Her whole body had started to tremble, she couldn't look away, and she couldn't form a single rational thought in her head.

From somewhere in the distance, she heard Cragen's voice, talking to an unknown man, but she didn't take her eyes off the screen. Forcing her brain to work, she fast-forwarded the video to where the shooter's face was visible and zoomed in. The man looked familiar.

Too familiar.

"Benson," she heard her captain's voice beside her but didn't react to it. Instead, she jumped to her feet, and started wildly flipping through the stack of papers on her desk, looking for a picture she knew she'd seen before.

"Benson!"

"Sorry Cap, wait a second," she answered hastily, in a choked voice, and that was when she saw it. A piece of paper with a picture pasted on it.

It was the picture of him.

It was him.

"Benson!" Cragen's voice had changed commanding, and Olivia took the paper in her hand, turned to face her captain, and with her whole body shaking, she handed the paper to him. An unknown, robust man was standing next to Cragen, looking at her in confusion, but Olivia's full attention was directed at her captain, who took the paper in his hand with a frown.

"This man shot Julia," she announced in a shaky, hoarse voice. "His name is Kyle Turner, but in prison, they call him Bull."