As summer pressed on, Hailey realized her feelings surrounding Jay were still feeling incredibly new. Every day brought a new feeling to her gut as she got to know him. She didn't understand how she could feel so deeply for someone. She was looking forward to the times she'd hear him laugh or when he'd teasingly tug at her still brown hair. They spent each night with each other or also with their friends, and Hailey couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so incredibly happy.
Jay liked to pull her feet into his lap and play with her anklet. It would start with them teasing each other or telling jokes about their day at work and end in them cuddled up on the couch talking about what middle school was like or their childhood pets. The conversations they had within the two months of knowing each other were deeper than any Hailey had had with any of her ex-boyfriends. It confused her, but never for long because she realized she enjoyed it a lot more. She liked the deep conversations and slow nights just as much as she liked the alcohol-filled, silly ones. The balance couldn't have been more perfect, and Hailey didn't know if she could consider herself any luckier.
Especially with the gorgeous weather.
Everyone had the Saturday off for once, so they were spending it at the beach together enjoying Lake Michigan for all its worth.
"I love the lake," Vanessa said while lying back on her towel in the sand.
"Funny way of showing it," Kevin chuckled and plopped in the sand next to her.
"I'm tanning first, swimming second," Vanessa said.
Hailey laughed at her softly then straightened her towel out. Sitting on it, she looked up at Jay shoving their umbrella in the sand. "You need sunscreen?" she asked.
"Course," he said, smirking. He wiped his forehead of sweat then sat next to her.
"You are rather pale," Hailey teased.
"You should see him in the winter," Kevin laughed, "Whole new shade of white."
"You're hilarious," Jay snapped.
"Hey, shush, he's teasing," Hailey said and squirted the lotion in her hands. Kneeling behind him, she rubbed it into his back and asked, "You'll get me after, right?"
"A chance to rub lotion on you? Happily," Jay replied.
Hailey laughed softly and looked out at Kim, Adam, and Mouse swimming around in the water. "Wanna do something tonight?" she asked.
"Like what?" Jay countered, looking over his shoulder at her.
She shrugged and tapped a bit of sunscreen on his nose. "Something easy and fun," she said.
Jay smiled and leaned back to peck her lips. "Sunset picnic?"
Hailey's face lit up, and she nodded quickly. "That'd be perfect," she said.
"Romantic too," Jay said. He shot her a wink then grabbed the sunscreen.
Hailey rubbed the sunscreen into his nose before turning around and pulling her ponytail off to the side. "You still love your romance tropes, huh?" she said.
"Course I do," Jay replied. He put the lotion on his hands then moved her bathing suit straps to rub it into her skin. "Key to a girl's heart."
Hailey hummed and said, "Well, hate to break it to you, but your tropes aren't why I have feelings for you. I have feelings for you because you're kind and good, not because you kissed me in the rain or shared spaghetti with me last week."
Jay laughed and kissed the back of her neck. "Okay, maybe that's true, but doesn't mean you weren't having fun while we did those things."
"That's also true," Hailey said with a laugh.
Jay rubbed his hand over her lower back and asked, "You wanna go swimming?"
"Yup," Hailey answered. She sat up on her knees and grabbed the sunscreen from him. She began to rub it into her chest and asked, "Did you get your front?"
"While you were changing, yup," Jay said, his eyes scanning over her and following her fingers.
Hailey nodded and rubbed the excess lotion into her face before standing up. "Kev, Ness? You two coming?" she asked.
They looked up from a quiet conversation and Vanessa said, "We'll meet you out there."
Hailey nodded and Jay asked, "Really, Kev? What happened to going out in the water?"
Kevin raised an eyebrow and gestured to Vanessa lying next to him.
Jay smirked and grabbed Hailey's hand to pull her toward the lake. He started going faster the closer they got then grabbed her around the waist to carry her over his shoulder. She squealed in laughter and lightly hit his back.
"Jay!" she yelled, "Put me down!"
"Put you down?" Jay asked, "You want me to put you down?"
"Yes!" Hailey laughed.
Jay hummed and charged into the water just to toss her right into a wave.
Hailey sputtered against the water, but still shot up laughing. "Jerk!" she yelled.
"I'm not a jerk," Jay replied with a smirk.
"Oh, sure," Hailey scoffed before beginning to splash water at him, "Do you like that? Like that, Jay Halstead?"
Jay laughed and put his hands up. "I give in. I give in!"
Hailey smiled and settled down to lie back in the water. Floating on her back, she kicked her feet until her head bumped into Jay's stomach.
"Hey, you," he said softly, slipping his hands under her shoulders. He squatted down in the water and slowly spun her in a circle.
She laughed and closed her eyes against the sun shining down on them. "Hi," she said, "Fancy seeing you here."
Jay laughed with her then let her go. She flipped over on her stomach just as he asked, "Did you ever come to the beach when you were younger?"
Hailey raised an eyebrow and asked, "What do you think?"
Jay shot her a small smile and shrugged while rolling onto his back. Like she'd done, he closed his eyes against the sun. "You always surprise me, so I figured I'd ask," he explained.
Hailey hummed and watched him peacefully float for a moment. In truth, she had gone a couple times with friends, mostly when she was in high school, but her mom had taken them once. She had been ten; her brothers were fifteen and nine. The only reason they'd even been able to go was because her dad had gotten a bad batch of spinach for the diner and called for a rare day off. It had barely been pushing eighty degrees, but the sun was hot and this very beach had been pretty empty, so it ended up being a good beach day for kids who rarely left Greektown. She usually thought about it whenever summer would just begin.
"Actually, we did come once as a family," she admitted softly, "My mom took my brothers and I when we had a day off from the diner."
Jay looked up at her in surprise before shifting to squat in the water next to her.
"We left Greektown around nine in the morning, and my mom packed a picnic," she continued, "My dad was pissed we couldn't work, but he also didn't fight us leaving. We spent all day here."
"Here?" Jay asked, "This was the beach you guys came to?"
"Yeah," Hailey replied with a smile. She pointed down the beach closer to the playset. "We set up down there and didn't leave until like five or six. We got pizza on the way home, and I swear it was the best food I'd ever had."
Jay laughed softly and said, "That's awesome."
"It was," Hailey said. Smiling more, she said, "My mom…my mom was really pretty that day. She had on this black one-piece and a big straw hat. Obviously, she also had one of those, like, towel cover-ups. It was white and kind of big. Her sandals were so out-of-date, but whatever. Clothes don't matter that much even if she looked super…chic, I guess? I remember her smiling a lot, even when she was trying to get sunscreen on two kids who did not want to stand still and a teenager who was too cool to wear it but not cool enough to not want to spend the day with his family. We were out in the wild for pretty much the first time ever, and we loved it."
"Sounds like freedom," Jay said softly.
Hailey nodded and looked down at the water as she swirled her fingers around slowly. "I never wanted to go home," she breathed, "My mom laughed the whole day. She went swimming and bought us ice-cream for lunch. It was really cool."
"How old were you?" Jay asked.
"Ten," Hailey answered, looking up at him, "Mike was fifteen, and Georgie had just turned nine. I swear we talked about it for years."
Jay smiled and nodded. He studied her for a second before quietly asking, "Do you miss them?"
Hailey breathed in slowly as she considered his words. She hadn't actually seen her brothers since she first moved into the apartment months before. There had been occasional texts, but nothing concrete. She'd really had no desire to actually see them or talk to them since they'd stopped by to see her new place. It wasn't that their relationship was strained, just that it didn't really exist. Mike wanted to make sure she and Georgie were taken care of and happy, but he also didn't want to have his entire life revolve around them anymore, and Hailey didn't blame him.
When he'd first gone to college, it'd felt like he was abandoning them despite his phone calls. He stopped coming home on a monthly basis once Christmas came when he'd used his money from his new job on campus to buy Hailey and George a couple extra gifts. It'd resulted in a big fight between him and their dad, and that put the stress on their relationship. He wanted to protect them, but not at the expense of his own happiness and safety. While she understood what had happened and why he stepped away, it didn't soothe the sting that shot through her whenever she saw a picture of him or heard her dad yell his name at their mom.
Jay knew he and Georgie weren't a huge part of her life anymore, and he'd respected that. He knew it was her life story to tell – or rather not tell – and didn't ever push her for information. This was actually the first time he directly asked about them since they'd done laundry together the first week they'd met. It was because of that and the foundation they'd been building over the course of the months that'd followed that she felt safe enough to tell him the truth.
"Strangely, yeah," she said softly, "We made this little bubble together to stay safe within the madness. Maybe it wasn't healthy that we were essentially our only friends for so long, but it was our life. We grew up, though, and moved on. We all became real, better people despite what had happened. We're proud of each other."
"What do they do now?" Jay asked.
"Mike's working for some real estate office downtown," Hailey answered, "He's been doing great there, actually, it's pretty cool. Last I heard he was looking into investing and starting to potentially flip some houses. Georgie's gonna get in on it with him since he's done with trade school now. He's a certified electrician and specialized in house projects. They're pretty excited."
Jay smiled and said, "Really cool. Electrician's a sweet job – good money in it too. I could never: electricity kind of freaks me out."
Hailey laughed and shrugged. "I don't know," she said, "It's kind of like surgery, right? Gotta match all the parts up?"
"I wouldn't know," Jay chuckled, "So, do you want to go see them soon? It's been a while, right?"
"Uh, yeah," Hailey said and shrugged, "But it's not something I need. I'm doing good on my own, and I'm content here. Yeah, I miss them, but not in a 'let's all hangout and rehash our trauma' kind of way."
Jay laughed with her at her joke then said quietly, "Makes sense. You sound very wise; my therapist would be proud."
Hailey rolled her eyes and lightly shoved his chest, but still smiled at him. He'd been doing well with going to therapy to discuss his mom, and she liked that he seemed to be making progress in his own way. He still went over their house at least twice a week for dinner or to check-in, but he never stayed the night and even invited Hailey to come with him. She didn't say 'yes' every single time, but she always looked forward to taking a trip to Canaryville.
They were figuring out their family situations while also prioritizing each other. It felt like huge progress for them.
"Well, if you ever need a ride to Greektown or wherever they live, I'm your guy," Jay said, "I'll happily go with you."
"Thank you," she said with a smile, "I appreciate it."
Jay hummed and dipped under the water just to swim over and grab her legs. She screeched in laughter as he pulled her down with him and pushed against him once they shot back up.
"Oh, it's on Jay Halstead," she said before lunging after him and following him deeper into the water. He laughed with her as he swam away, and she realized she would very much like to do this exact same thing again.
Not even just in a week or two, but in the next year and the year after that.
She'd only ever to go to the beach with Jay. She didn't know what exactly that meant for her feelings, but she liked it enough that she didn't want to focus on it and send herself into a worried spiral. She needed to live in the moment.
Jay and his family taught her that.
She also learned that Jay sucks at putting sunscreen on himself.
Everyone had stopped for frozen yogurt on the way home from the beach, and it was there under the florescent lights that Hailey really noticed the patches of red skin on Jay's face and arms.
"Your face hurt?" Mouse asked Jay after Hailey had pointed out that he looked sunburned.
Jay raised his eyebrows then winced. "A bit," he said.
"Yeah, it's killing me too," Mouse replied much to everyone else's enjoyment.
Hailey couldn't help but laugh as well as she stepped closer to Jay and lightly set a hand on his cheek. "Why wouldn't you put lotion on your face?" she asked.
"You put it on my nose," he argued quietly.
Hailey hummed another laugh and shook her head. "You have more skin on your face than just your nose, babe," she said, "When we get home, I think I have some aloe we can put on that."
"It's that bad?" he asked.
Hailey nodded and said, "It's not cute."
Adam snorted and began filling his bowl with yogurt. "That's not something you ever want your girlfriend to say to you."
"Have experience?" Jay shot back.
"Actually, no," Adam answered.
Jay sighed and grabbed two bowls. Passing one to Hailey, he asked, "How're my arms?"
"Not too bad," she said. She gently lifted his shirt sleeves and internally winced. "The fronts of your shoulders don't look great, though," she added.
"Oh, shoulders are always painful," Kim said, "I'm very glad I bought SPF 70."
"70?" Vanessa asked, "What the hell? Did you think we were going to the sun?"
"I would have bought 100, but they were out," Kim replied.
"You are so strange," Vanessa teased.
Hailey smiled at her friends then kissed Jay's shoulder before they began filling up their bowls. "You still want to go out tonight?" she asked, "I get it if you want to just stay home and chill out."
"What? No, of course not," Jay said. He got some frozen yogurt on his finger and licked it off before adding, "It's just a sunburn. I'm fine."
Hailey tilted her head to the side and said, "Jay. Come on. We know it's painful."
"It's really not," he replied, "Maybe I'll be stiff tomorrow, but until then, I'm good to go."
"See, usually, I want to be stiff before being good to go," Kevin said under his breath while passing the two of them to head toward the toppings.
Vanessa and Mouse burst into laughter causing the girl at the counter to look over at them in confusion.
"Ass," Jay mumbled.
Hailey laughed and shook her head. She brushed her hand along his lower back before filling her bowl with yogurt.
Kim was laughing quietly as well next to her and whispered, "What're you two doing tonight? Just watching the sunset?"
Hailey glanced over at her and nodded. "Yeah, why?"
"Don't think you're even gonna have to worry about him being stiff tonight," Kim answered softly, "Look at the back of his arms and legs. He's fried, Hailey; you're not having sex for a while."
Hailey spun around to see that she was right. While Jay's face and the front of his arms were rather splotchy looking, the back of him was bright red. As she stared at him dump M&Ms into his bowl next to Adam, she was certain the only parts of him that were effectively not burnt were the parts that she covered in lotion: his nose and his back. She sighed and shook her head.
"Whatever," she breathed, "He's an adult; he should have known better."
Kim smirked and shook her head. "Who would have thought that between our two boyfriends, mine would be the smarter one when it came to skin care?"
Hailey sighed again, but still smiled and said, "I know. He's great at first-aid when it comes to everyone else. Clearly not great when it concerns himself."
Kim laughed and led her over to the toppings. "Just means you get to play nurse later," she said, "You know, I heard if you take a bath with oatmeal that it can help."
Hailey raised an eyebrow and said, "Really? That's kind of weird."
"Try anything once, right?" Kim said with a wink.
Shaking her head, Hailey smirked and said, "No. Not always."
"Live a little," Kim said.
"Oh, looks who's talking," Hailey scoffed, "You have such a stick up your butt."
"I do not," Kim gasped.
"Do not what?" Adam asked, turning to face them.
"Have a stick up my butt," Kim said, "I am an adventurous person."
Adam and Hailey made eye-contact before Adam tried holding back a smile. Stepping closer to Kim, he lowered his voice to say, "Darlin, I think you're perfect the way you are."
Hailey held back a quiet laugh as she stepped around him to put caramel and coconut on her yogurt.
"Adam!" Kim argued.
Jay glanced up from taking his credit card out of his wallet and asked, "What's her deal?"
Hailey shoved his hand away and passed over her bowl to the cashier. "She thinks she's, like, loose or something," she said while pulling her own wallet out. Before Jay could protest, she paid for their frozen yogurt and grabbed two spoons for them.
"Really?" Jay asked.
Whether he was talking about Kim or the frozen yogurt, Hailey wasn't sure. Either way, though, she said, "Mhmm," and walked over to their friends.
Jay chuckled and followed her to the small table. "She is not," he said.
"What're you talking about?" Vanessa asked.
"Kim told me she'd try anything once," Hailey said.
Mouse laughed loudly and said, "That's such a lie."
Hailey smiled at him and winked.
"Oh, I don't know," Kevin said despite the laughter teasing his voice, "Burgess might be able to let loose every once in a while."
Kim heard as she approached with Adam and said, "Thank you." With a huff, she sat to Jay's left and said, "The rest of you suck."
"Kimberly," Hailey said sweetly. Smiling at Kim while holding back her own laughter, she said, "Honey, you admitted to never having sex in public and your mom didn't believe you when you called and told her you'd been arrested, and that was just in one night. You're not exactly…well, you're not…"
"You're not me," Vanessa said simply, "You need to learn to live a little. We all know you've seen Jay and Hailey go at it in a car, maybe you should see if you can do the same thing so they see you."
"No," Jay said quickly, "No offense to both of you, but I do not want to see either of them naked."
"Thanks, man, I appreciate that," Adam said.
"I can be fun," Kim argued.
"We're not saying you can't be," Vanessa said, "You just don't break rules or do things out of the norm. I mean, have you ever actually done that thing you wanted to try in the bedroom?"
Kim's face blushed as red as Jay's, and she hissed, "Shut up."
Hailey gave Vanessa a swift kick under the table and shook her head. What had started as – what she hoped to have been – an innocent joke was starting to near the line she knew would be hard to come back from.
Adam looked up from his frozen yogurt and quietly asked, "What?"
"Nothing," Kim said quickly, "She's being stupid."
Jay and Mouse looked at Hailey who just shook her head while still glaring at Vanessa.
"Uh, well," Kevin said, clearing his throat, "Anyone want to make plans for the Fourth? Figured we could find some fireworks and do a tailgate somewhere."
"There's always the roof," Jay suggested, and Hailey was thankful that he was so willingly moving on from the previous conversation to spare Kim any further embarrassment.
"Roof is a little scary," she said softly, keeping her eyes on Vanessa, Kim, and Adam all trying to simultaneously avoid looking at each other while making eye contact with the other.
"Eh, I think it's fun. Just don't get near the edge," Mouse said, "I think that'd be fun. Free too, which is cool."
Hailey shot him a smile and nodded.
He winked and took a bite of his yogurt.
The tension at the table was rather high, and Hailey was not looking forward to the ride home. She and Jay had driven with Mouse, but she expected Kim and Vanessa to suggest they switch around so they wouldn't have to sit together for the ten minute drive. She hated when there was any sort of negative emotions in their friendship. There was some sort of relief knowing that Kim didn't live with them, so it wasn't like they would be in silence for the rest of the day, but she was also personally annoyed at Vanessa for even bringing up Kim's sex life. It should have been left in the living room where it'd first been discussed or the bedroom where it belonged.
She ran a hand through her hair and tried to smile at Jay. He reached under the table and squeezed her knee, smiling back at her. That simple touch brought a little bit of peace to her in the moment. He always knew how to calm her down even in the silliest of situations with her friends. She didn't know how or why it happened, but she sure was thankful that it did.
Jay had told her once that communication would help solve any fights between her and Vanessa. He'd had a good point, and it'd worked that time.
Communication between Kim and Vanessa this time…
It was loud and painful.
Hailey tried moderating to the best of her ability, but Kim was so angry that she couldn't even hear what she was saying over her own yelling. Vanessa was near tears herself as she tried apologizing before giving in and shouting right back.
It put Hailey's nerves on edge.
She hated fighting, especially hating between people who loved each other. It was just another tick as to why love wasn't real. If it really was and existed between friends, Vanessa wouldn't be telling Kim she was a prude and Kim wouldn't be calling Vanessa a slut.
The entire fight, from the tearful exclamations and apologies to the screaming and yelling, lasted just under ten minutes before the door was thrown open and Adam and Kevin came in with Mouse and Jay to break it up. While Kevin practically carried Vanessa into her room followed by Mouse, Adam pulled Kim out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.
It left Hailey and Jay standing in the living room staring at each other in shock.
Hailey's chest felt tight and the skin on her arms was beginning to tingle. Everything was buzzing, and she couldn't breathe. She suddenly felt like she'd just walked in on her parents fighting even though she was there from the beginning for this one.
"Hail," Jay said softly and took a tentative step toward her, "Hailey, you okay?"
She jumped when he grabbed her hand and pulled away.
Her dad had grabbed her once after he'd been in a fight with her mom and ended up bruising her from how hard he'd squeezed. He'd wanted her on his side even though she had no idea what the fight was even about.
"Hailey," Jay whispered, "Hailey, it's me, it's Jay."
She closed her eyes for a moment then nodded.
She hated yelling.
She hated it.
"Hey, come on," Jay said, taking another step toward her, "Let's get out of here and go to my place."
His hand barely touched her back, and, this time, she didn't jerk away. Her back felt safe. Her dad never touched her back after a fight or even during one. He always grabbed her arms or wrists. Once he grabbed her hair.
If Jay touched her hair right now, she didn't know how she'd react.
"I've got you," he whispered as he slowly guided her out of her apartment. When they were in his kitchen, he grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and opened it for her. His hand was gentle against her own as he helped steady her enough to drink from it. She closed her eyes and felt some of the water drip down her chin as her hand shook, but she was starting to feel better. The change of environment helped and having the cool water in her hand gave her something to focus on besides the buzzing in her ears and the memories bouncing around her mind.
She had swallowed half of it before pressing the bottle fully into Jay's grip and taking a step back. "Thank you," she breathed.
"Of course," he replied. Once he capped the bottle and set it on the counter, he nodded toward the couch and followed her over there. He sat next to her and softly asked, "What can I do?"
It was a simple question with a simple answer: she just needed him.
Hailey moved impossibly closer to him and wrapped her arms around him. He squeezed her back tightly and pressed his lips to her temple.
"I've got you," he whispered.
She hummed softly in reply and gripped his shirt. In the back of her mind, she knew she had to have been irritating his sunburn, but she also knew he wasn't going to mind. He'd always said he'd do anything for her, so she assumed dealing with hot, sensitive skin fell into that category.
His hand slowly rubbed circles against her lower back until she felt like she was able to properly breathe again. Memories of her parents yelling in their living room or the kitchen or their room or even the backyard faded away as Jay's steady touch grounded her into this moment.
To her surprise, she didn't jump when he slipped his hand in her hair. He lightly ran his fingers through it and whispered, "You're safe."
She knew it was true.
That hadn't been the case when she was younger, but she knew it was now.
Jay wasn't going to hurt her. He never would.
Slowly sitting up, Hailey wiped her eyes and sniffled. "Thank you," she said quietly.
Jay nodded and replied, "You're welcome." He brushed her hair from her face then kissed her cheek. When she smiled at the gesture, he smiled back before kissing her other cheek and then her nose. "You got a little sun too," he said softly, "Nothing like mine, but I can tell you were outside all afternoon."
Hailey nodded back and set a hand on his burnt cheek. Brushing her thumb under his eye, she tried finding the words to explain to him what exactly had just happened, but nothing came to her.
As if he could read her mind, Jay shook his head and whispered, "It can wait."
He didn't need to know right this second, but she understood that he expected her to share something later. He wanted her to let him in, and, shockingly, she felt like she wanted to let him in. Just like when she'd gotten her tattoo, she didn't want to hide from him. He deserved to know her past even if she slowly broke it down for him over the course of however many days, weeks, and months. She believed that he would listen to the information and protect her heart. He wouldn't use it against her.
Not like any of the others.
So instead of spilling her fears and anxieties to him, she asked, "Can we head out to that date a little early?"
Jay raised an eyebrow and countered, "You sure you want to go?"
"Yeah," she said softly and wiped her face, "I need some air, and a sunset date with you sounds like the perfect way to do that."
Jay smiled and nodded. "Okay then," he said and stood up, "Let's grab some stuff and head out."
The stuff in question was much more than Hailey anticipated. She figured they'd grab a towel or two, some sweatshirts, and maybe a couple cans of hard cider or a bottle of wine. In reality, they grabbed several blankets, two sleeping bags, phone chargers, two pillows, a bag filled with food and the hard cider, and sweatshirts for each of them.
"I thought we were just gonna find a spot to watch the sunset," Hailey said as they carried everything down to the truck.
"We are," Jay answered. He unlocked the truck and tossed everything in the backseat before she did the same then passed her the keys. "You're driving, though," he said.
Hailey's eyes widened and she asked, "What?"
"Yeah," Jay chuckled, "Drive wherever you want. I don't care how long it takes us to get there; I just want you to drive. We can end up on the water or up in Wisconsin or even in Idaho or something – I don't care. Just me and you and the road."
Before she could even open her mouth to argue, he walked away from her to get in the passenger seat, leaving her standing in the parking garage in shock.
She'd never been told to just drive wherever without a plan, and she'd also never driven a guy's truck. In the back of her head, she wondered if this was another one of Jay's ideas at romance, but she pushed it the side because this one…this one was working. She'd happily drive his truck. She didn't know why, but the idea of driving her boyfriend's truck – even if it was with his permission – felt really, really good.
She let out a soft laugh of disbelief before hurrying around to climb in the driver's seat.
Jay smiled at her and said, "You'll need to adjust it. The seat's manual, but it's also greased up, so it's not that hard to move."
Hailey nodded and reached down to pull at the handles and levers until she was exactly where she needed to be. "Can I adjust the mirrors too?" she asked.
"I don't care," Jay laughed, "I'd prefer if you did so that you can actually see where we're going, but it's up to you."
Hailey smiled then started adjusting all the mirrors until she was positive she could see where she was going. She let out a breath, put her seatbelt on, and finally started the truck.
"There you go," Jay said, "All right, hit the road. Let's do this."
Laughing again, Hailey turned the radio up and put the truck in reverse. Surprisingly, she felt at ease navigating the truck out of the parking garage and onto the streets. It was freeing in a way she didn't expect.
It wasn't that Jay was a guy that would ban her from driving his car, but that he was a guy. It was as simple as that. She never expected him to let her drive his truck. He didn't even drive her car whenever they'd go somewhere. Her car was hers and his was his. This was new, and while she might have hit just one curb on their journey, it was not something she was nervous about.
Finding a place to watch the sunset was a little nerve wracking. It seemed like a huge responsibility. At first, she just drove and listened to the music. She could feel Jay's eyes on her every once in a while, but it was fine. He didn't say anything as he let her navigate her way through and out of Chicago.
Once the city was in the rearview mirror, she worked to remember her space facts and where she'd have to be in order to best view the sunset. She knew she wanted it to be over the lake, so that meant she needed to head to the east. Before she knew it, they were in Indiana.
Jay smiled at her right before they crossed the border then took his phone out to take a picture of the sign. She laughed in disbelief and asked, "You really don't mind?"
"Tomorrow's Sunday, I have absolutely no plans for the day," Jay replied, "Drive, Hailey."
She smiled and put her foot to the gas.
They were quiet for another ten minutes before she began talking again. She asked if Jay ever went camping and he told her about the few times his dad had taken him and Will tent camping at some of the state parks, but that his mom would only go to Wisconsin with them, so it wasn't a frequent thing. It brought up millions of questions about what they'd eat, how they'd bathe, what they liked to do, where they'd go, and what happened when it rained. His answers easily entertained her and wiped her mind of any of her earlier memories of her past, and suddenly they were at the Michigan border.
"That was fast," she mumbled, "Sorry."
"For what?" Jay asked, taking a picture of the latest welcome sign.
"We really left the state now," Hailey said.
Jay shrugged and repeated, "I don't have anything to do tomorrow."
Her phone buzzed in her pocket a couple times, but she had no desire to look at it. It had nothing to do with her driving and everything to do with ignoring the pain she'd left behind. She didn't want to think about the yelling and screaming her friends had been doing that left her reliving her own family fights. She wanted to focus on Jay and this impromptu road trip to see the sunset. It was all that mattered right now.
Soon enough, she noticed a sign for a campground and figured that'd have a good view of the sunset, so she headed in that direction. At the entrance to Warren Dunes State Park, she was glad to see that no one was there and headed inside, following a couple other cars to what she hoped was the beach. If this place didn't have a good view of the sunset, she knew she'd be upset, so she stayed quiet and silently wished to the stars above that she hadn't just driven Jay to disappointment.
After a few minutes, they turned a corner and she gasped softly: they were right on Lake Michigan with what she knew would be the perfect view of the sunset. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, the waves were gently lapping at the shore, and there were only a handful of other people there. It was perfect.
"You sure found a damn good spot," Jay said softly once Hailey turned the truck off.
She laughed softly and nodded. "Yeah," she breathed before jumping out.
Together, they kicked their shoes off and then walked out onto the beach. Jay grabbed Hailey's hand, so she squeezed it on their way to the edge of the water. He rubbed his thumb over her tattoo as he leaned over to kiss her temple just as they walked far enough that the quiet waves hit their toes.
She closed her eyes and leaned into him, whispering, "Thank you."
Jay hummed and pulled her against his chest. "For what?" he asked softly.
"This," she answered. Turning against him so she could rest her head under his chin while looking out at the setting sun, she added, "For knowing how to help me."
Jay kissed the top of her head then said, "Well, you are very welcome. It was partly selfish so that I could get you alone and have a private night with you, but I also knew you needed some breathing room."
Hailey laughed softly and nodded. "I don't mind the selfish reason," she said softly, "This is nice. I could stay here forever."
Jay chuckled and said, "We just got here, but I think I could swing that. It's what the sleeping bags are for."
Hailey glanced up at him and said, "Yeah?"
"Mhmm," Jay said, "I didn't realize you'd take us to Michigan, but I did think we could sleep in the back of the truck if need be. If anything, they'll make laying out to watch the sunset more comfortable."
Hailey smiled and said, "I like that."
"Come on," Jay said and stepped back. Grabbing her hand again, he said, "Let's go set up a little nest for us."
Hailey laughed as he pulled her back up the beach toward his truck. Together, they laid out all their blankets and sleeping bags in the bed of the truck until it seemed like it was comfortable enough to lay in for a while.
As Jay grabbed their food and drinks from inside the truck, Hailey climbed into the big sleeping bag they'd put together and looked around at where they were. She couldn't believe they were here in Michigan without their friends even knowing. She'd never exactly been the type of person to just up and leave without anyone else knowing. Then again, Jay knew and maybe that's all that mattered.
She still couldn't place a finger on why exactly everything with Jay felt different, but it wasn't bothering her as much anymore. She had gotten used to the warm, fluttering feeling within her that seemed to light up the core of her soul. She didn't want it to end; in fact, she was a little scared that if she did dwell on it for long that it'd disappear, so silence was the best solution.
"Hey, here you go," Jay said as he tossed her one of his sweatshirts before climbing up into the bed of the truck. He slid into the sleeping bag to her left then opened two ciders for them.
"Thank you," Hailey replied. She pulled on his sweatshirt before grabbing the drink from him. Taking a long sip, she hummed softly and said, "This one's so good."
"I know," Jay said, "I could have a whole case easily."
Hailey laughed softly and said, "Go for it. I'm driving anyways."
Jay chuckled and asked, "How was it driving the truck?"
Hailey hummed then said, "I liked it. Being high up was pretty nice, but my car just feels safer."
Laughing, Jay shook his head and said, "You're just not used to it yet. You'll get there."
"Oh, am I gonna get to drive it again?" Hailey asked with a soft laugh.
"Why not?" Jay asked. He opened up the bag of chips he'd brought and ate one before adding, "You did good."
"Really?" Hailey said.
Jay nodded and touched a chip to her lips until she ate it then smiled and answered, "Yeah. You just hit that one curb."
"I'm practically a pro," Hailey joked.
Jay laughed and said, "Exactly."
Hailey smiled at him while grabbing a handful of chips. They quietly ate as they stared out at the water. Jay's free hand slipped into the sleeping bag to absentmindedly swirl along her thigh, but she couldn't help but think about the earlier fight between her friends.
Of all things to fight about, the fact that it had stemmed from sex and a comment she had made made it all even worse. Yelling and screaming aside, she was the cause of the fight – just like when she was a kid.
There had been many times she'd overheard her parents fighting about going to her conferences at school or taking her to soccer practices. They'd fought about her brothers and the diner and each other as well, but the fights about her always hurt the worst. It made sense as to why, and it sucked.
She hadn't even realized she'd stopped eating the chips when she suddenly heard Jay rolling the bag up and setting it behind them in the corner of the truck bed. She blinked then glanced over at him and tried asking him if they were gone only for nothing to come out of her mouth.
Jay raised an eyebrow then softened and grabbed her hand. Rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand, he quietly asked, "Wanna talk about it?"
She didn't, but she knew she should. Holding in her past and her fears wasn't going to do her any good, and if she was going to share them with anyone, it was going to be Jay.
She glanced around then nodded despite the hesitancy stirring in her stomach.
"Okay," Jay said softly. He shot her a small smile before scooting down to lay on his side facing her. "Ready when you are."
Hailey smiled back and asked, "What'd I do to deserve you?"
Jay took her hand and shrugged. "I ask myself the same thing about you everyday," he said.
Hailey laughed softly then laid down next to him on her back. Sighing, she stared up at the soft orange sky and said, "I hate fights. I know you know that, but I really do. Theirs was just so loud and personal that it took me back to being a kid and my parents screaming all the time."
Jay nodded and lightly ran his fingers through her hair spread out on the pillow.
"I never had that happen before, though," she continued quietly, "Where it hurt to breathe. Maybe it's some sort of PTSD thing. Can you get PTSD from growing up?"
"I'm sure you could," Jay answered, "It's trauma, right? And…and it sounds like you…" He trailed off, but Hailey very well knew what he wanted to say.
She gave him the tiniest of smiles and nodded. "Yeah," she breathed.
Jay let out a breath of his own and said, "I'm sorry."
"Hey," Hailey said softly, reaching her hand up to touch his cheek, "It's not your fault."
"I know, but…" Jay again seemed to search for words before sighing and laying down next to her. "I wish I could erase it from your past," he said, gently pulling her close enough to press a kiss to her forehead.
Hailey considered his words for a moment then said, "I don't think I want it to be erased."
The words almost shocked her, she knew it sounded crazy, and yet she also knew she meant it. Her past was her past and made her who she was. Everything had to happen for a reason. Maybe the reason behind her childhood trauma was to grow and become a better person. Maybe it was to even lead her to Jay. It was a strange thought, but there had to have been some sort of reason and connection as to why Jay was in her life. It couldn't have been a coincidence.
Without her saying anything, Jay seemed to understand what she'd meant because he slowly nodded. He held her gaze as he mulled over his thoughts before saying, "I think I get it. I don't know if I'll ever get to the point where I can say I understand why my mom got sick, but…but maybe I'll learn something from it."
Hailey nodded slightly and scooted closer to him. She rested her head on his shoulder and looked out as best she could at the water.
They were two people with separate, rather different family issues, but they'd managed to find each other despite the madness. There was something beautiful about it.
Just like the sky right now.
Hailey always loved watching the sunset. She could take thousands of pictures of them from all over the Midwest and she'd never get used to it. The way that all the colors blended together without looking muddy was so pretty to her. When there were clouds, she loved the way they looked outlined against the sky and how they'd reflect in the water. Every night was different, and yet it was always perfect.
It always calmed her down too. Even when she was younger, before she could run off to the beach or the park on her own, she'd wander out to her backyard or to the bench outside the diner whenever she'd need air and just stare at the sky. As she'd watch the sun sink down and the sky burn orange, her breathing always seemed to slow down and her fears would fade away.
Just like how Jay's touch and presence affected her now.
They didn't talk as the sky was ablaze in front of them. Lake Michigan turned orange and purple as time ticked on, and all Hailey could do was rest her head on Jay's chest and stare out at it. Occasionally, they'd both move to take pictures of the sky or the landscape - once, Hailey took a couple pictures of Jay and then a selfie of the two of them - but in general, there was little movement or sound.
Jay's fingers brushed along the edge of her shorts while hers swirled along his arm wrapped protectively around her. It was so quiet compared to the chaos they'd been a part of earlier that it almost felt like meditation. Everything felt predictable and peaceful. It was the perfect way to spend a Saturday night after so many that summer were spent drinking and acting dumb.
Just as the sun slipped beneath the horizon, Jay turned his head just enough that his lips were pressed to the crown of Hailey's head. She closed her eyes and lightly squeezed his wrist.
"Wanna stay here?" he mumbled.
Hailey hummed her agreement and shifted so she could wrap herself around him. She didn't want anything about tonight to end.
"Okay," Jay breathed. His hand came up to tangle within her hair and he turned on his side to hold her tighter.
Hailey could just make out the figures of the few people that'd been on the beach walking back up to the parking lot. Soon enough, the sounds of cars starting back up filled the air and tires rolled against the pavement until their truck was the only one left along the beach.
There were so many things they could do in the moment, but Hailey didn't want any of it. She didn't want the sex Vanessa surely would have had, and she didn't want to run down into the water just for Jay to pick her up and spin her around like Adam and Kim would have done. For the first time in her life, it felt like her heart had synced up with someone else's, and she didn't want to disturb that.
And that's when it clicked in her mind.
The reason everything with Jay felt so different and new and unique since their mini break was because absence did make the heart grow fonder.
She needed Jay.
She wanted Jay.
She…
She loved Jay.
Her heart raced at the thought.
Somehow, his romance tropes had worked. Their friendship had grown from being neighbors to being each other's person, and it was real. Their relationship had grown deeper than any in her past, and it flipped a switch in her mind.
She never could have told Garrett about going to the beach with her mom or about how much she hated fights.
She never even told any of her other boyfriends about her father and the abuse she'd endured while growing up.
At no point in her life, did she ever jump in a car with anyone and drive two states away just to watch the sunset without telling her best friends.
Her gut had brought her to this Michigan beach, and her heart brought her to Jay.
She loved him.
It scared her to admit, and she didn't know if she'd ever have the strength to utter the words after everything that had happened in her past, but she could keep the secret within her for now. She wouldn't tell him until she worked through that past trauma they both agreed that she had. She also certainly wouldn't tell him while he was still battling his own demons. If she were to ever share her true feelings with him, she wanted them both to be one hundred percent – too much could go wrong if they weren't.
She was in love, and she wanted it to stay that way. She needed to make sure it was an actual feeling and not just from the aura of the sunset at the beach. She couldn't risk losing this wonderful feeling of flying through the warmest of orange skies.
Jay was worth too much to her to just assume everything was going to be okay.
So she buried her face in his chest and rested her hand over his heart. This was where she was comfortable, and this was where she wanted to stay.
Fireworks began over the lake in preparation for the Fourth of July. Hailey hadn't been expecting it at all, so she gasped at the first boom that echoed across the beach. Jay had laughed and pointed out what they were before they both shifted around until they had a better view.
For close to twenty minutes, bright colors and falling glitter filled the sky. They both pointed out their favorite ones and tried getting pictures to remember the night. It was their own personal firework show, and Hailey knew it was better than anything they'd see from the roof of their apartment building with their friends.
The air eventually filled with smoke, and their eyes finally adjusted to the continuous flashes of light. They could hear clapping from the surrounding areas as whoever lit off the fireworks celebrated them ending. Hailey looked over at Jay still laughing softly at the shock of the fireworks and smiled wide.
He looked perfect right now. The moonlight bounced off the lake and reflected in his eyes. His hair was loose and all out of place from having been pressed into the pillow for so long. The sleeves of his sweatshirt were pushed up slightly showing off the goosebumps on his arms. He was free and relaxed, and he was all hers.
She leaned over to kiss his cheek quickly then let out a soft giggle of disbelief.
He looked at her and laughed as well. "Yeah?" he asked.
Hailey shrugged and bit her lip. "Just looking at you," she said softly.
Jay chuckled and shook his head before kissing her cheek as well. "What a coincidence, I like looking at you too," he said.
Hailey smiled and put a hand on the side of his neck. She breathed out slowly before leaning closer until their lips meant. She slipped her hand up into his hair and gently pulled until they both laid back into their pile of blankets and pillows.
"Hailey," he murmured against her lips.
"Hmm?" she hummed, sliding her other hand down his side until it reached his. She squeezed his fingers before carefully rolling on top of him.
Jay pulled back enough so as he spoke, she could feel the words brush against her skin: "I like you," he whispered, "A lot, and I don't ever want this to end. That okay with you?"
Hailey's face broke into a smile and she nodded quickly. "Yeah," she breathed, "That's really okay with me. I like you too."
Jay chuckled and kissed her again, this time with more urgency as he rolled them over so he could press her down into the sleeping bag they'd been cocooned in.
Hailey knew what it meant. She wasn't stupid. She knew what they both meant by their words. Their feelings were deeper than simply liking the other, but he was respecting her boundaries just like she was testing her own waters. They were feeling each other out and trying their hands at their first serious relationship in a year, and that was okay.
She could take a slow relationship. She had a feeling it was going to be a beautiful thing.
Everything beautiful was always slow.
The waves lapping along the sand. The sun sinking beneath the water. The glittery fireworks falling in the sky. Even the way caramel fell onto frozen yogurt.
Beautiful things took time, and Hailey was ready to wait it out.
Jay taught her that.
A/N: Hello! I really hope you all liked this one, I'm kind of proud of some of it and have been excited to share. Can't wait to hear your thoughts :)