Okay, fellow peeps…
First of all, sorry for the delay of this chapter! I've been really busy and my thesis has taken all my energy. But now I'm back, and I could also consider this a survival method from the last episode of SVU.
A few words about that… My initial reaction was… Well, not so positive, but now that I've processed it, my mind is clearer. I didn't hate the scene itself, actually it was good (and huge!), it was so them, and I understand Liv that she's scared. Our girl spiraled harder than all of us combined :D Now Elliot knows she wants it; she finally responded to his feelings.
The thing that annoys me (and probably most of us) the most, is the promo. I hate how they're misleading us, and I hate that because of it, they took away that important and big scene from me. Without that promo, I literally would have melted (in a good way), but now the top feeling was just disappointment because I wanted that hug, I wanted Elliot to comfort Liv.
So, I hate that the promo exists. After all, the scene was honest and in all its tragedy it was also beautiful. I just hope Elliot will hold on to the "I want to", show her that she doesn't have to be afraid, (and doesn't go chasing after new Walmart Livs), and then they can be the way they were always meant to be.
Together.
Okay, but now to the story. And for those who read this entire Ted Talk, thanks for listening :D I just needed to get this out there.
The song: "I Found The Answers In You" – Loving Caliber, Mia Niles

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And as the darkness in her eyes finally began to win the battle against her will, a black, peaceful unconsciousness started to spread within her, the sentence forming between their lips was the last thing she heard. She wasn't sure which one had said it, but it didn't matter because that was all she needed.

All they needed.

"I love you."

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The sounds of footsteps.

The sense of threat.

Something wasn't right.

Olivia wasn't sure how long she had kept her eyes closed, but an oppressive feeling made her open them again. They were still in the prison, Elliot and her, but something had changed.

Thick smoke was wafting in the corridor, reducing visibility and making the air feel heavy, but for some reason she had stopped coughing. As if some kind of bubble had formed around her, preventing the smoke from flowing into her lungs as she took deep breaths and looked around. Despite the sense of danger hovering around them, she couldn't see anything, and slowly she turned her attention to Elliot, who was leaning against her chest.

"El?"

The memory of the kiss, that they had actually kissed, made her head spin. She hadn't expected her partner to respond to that, it had only been a momentary whim, something she had wanted to experience before she died. But instead Elliot had been right in, he had captured her lips with his own as if he had been waiting for her move, and good God what kind of kiss it had been.

It had been a dream but real at the same time, familiar as an action but at the same time, something she hadn't experienced before. Her heart had almost jumped out of her chest, she had been more nervous than ever at the same time, yet calmer than ever. As if all the opposites had united into one, whole entity, as if the world had simultaneously spun and at the same time stopped around them.

So foreign yet familiar at the same time.

So scary, but so comforting.

So new, but so right.

She wondered how kissing other people would feel after this. How could she feel anything? Once you experience how the ions connect to each other, how the mayhem of the world quiets down for a few seconds and everything makes sense, how can you go back to the way it was before?

Her partner's unresponsiveness caused her to stir and raise herself into a sitting position. Elliot was still unconscious, and his head almost fall from her chest to the floor, but she managed to catch him at the last moment and lifted him with difficulty against her.

Why hadn't he woken up?

"El?" Her voice was louder this time, steadier, but even so it sounded strangely hollow to her ears. She felt her pulse begin to quicken again when, despite her efforts, he didn't react. "Elliot?"

The slight rise and fall of his chest against hers revealed that he was indeed alive, but Olivia knew he needed help. He had been in the smoke for a long time, far too long, and she had to get him out of here now.

Still not thinking about why the thick, dense smoke hovering around them didn't affect her, she staggered to her feet and grabbed her partner from under his arms. However, Elliot was too heavy and her body too tired and weak to carry him alone, and very quickly her legs gave out. With the last of her strength, she managed to hold on to her partner without hitting his head on the hard floor as they collapsed back to the ground, tears of despair clouding Olivia's eyes.

This couldn't end like this.

Not like this.

Not now.

"I'm so sorry, El," tears rolled down her cheeks as she lifted her partner back into her arms and pressed her forehead against his. "I'm so sorry..."

But then she heard it.

The steps.

Approaching them.

Because of the thick smoke, Olivia couldn't see who was moving in the hallway, but relief washed over her like a tidal wave, and she opened her mouth, intending to scream for help. However, she didn't have time, because suddenly she saw out of the corner of her eye how a dark figure came out of the smoke like a ghost and stopped next to them.

And when Olivia looked up, the blood froze in her veins.

No.

NO.

This can't be possible…

"Good evening, Olivia."

It was Mr. Reed.

It was impossible. They had just arrested him; she had seen it with her own eyes. But there he was standing, with the same green eyes from which the glint of lust never faded, the same triumphant grin on his face. And in the dim light of the smoky hallway, the knife in his hand flashed, causing Olivia's heart to skip a beat.

Her instincts told her to cling to Elliot like her life depended on it. They told her, without reading the situation, to take refuge in him, expecting him to protect her. And that's what he would have done under normal circumstances.

But now he couldn't protect her.

Now she had to protect him.

Slowly and carefully, she lowered her partner from her lap to the floor and then turned to face Reed. Her heart felt like it was going to explode as she got up to her feet, straightened her back, and asked in a voice that didn't sound like her own:

"How can you be here? And why are you here?"

But Reed just grinned and raised the knife in front of his face. Slowly, he slid his finger along its blade before answering slowly and thoughtfully:

"Well, we left things unfinished last time." He then took a step towards her, making her take a step back. "I was left wondering why you were so reluctant, and then I realized," his gaze turned from the knife to Elliot. "That one, Detective Stabler…" Sweetness died from his voice and made Olivia take another step back towards her partner. "He is the barrier between us. And then I thought, oh well, in that case, I have to get rid of him first."

That was when Olivia acted; she rushed forward, about to grab the knife from Reed's hand, but he was faster. With a swift movement, he struck the knife into her thigh, pain exploded through her body and with a scream she collapsed to the floor.

"Now you can see, Olivia," Reed's voice had dropped in octaves. "This is what happens when you oppose me."

When he wiped the knife on his pants, Olivia backed slowly and painfully back to Elliot, but when Reed started to approach them again, she was unable to stand, unable to defend, unable to fight back. All she could do was position herself in front of her partner, put her body between him and the attacker, the pain blurring her vision, but despite that she wasn't about to give up.

Not now.

Not anymore.

A jeering grin spread across Reed's face as he took the last few steps towards them.

"Oh, that's so sweet. A brave detective, protecting her boyfriend to the last, even though she knows their game is over."

And then he raised his hand, ready to strike the knife into Elliot. Desperately exclaiming, Olivia leaned over her partner, trying to cover him as much as possible with her own body, even though she knew it was futile, she would lose him, she would fail him one last time…

But then she heard it.

Music.

The song penetrated the smoky hallway, echoed off the walls and caused the smoke to dissipate around them.

~How many smiles

Does it take to be happy?

How many times

Do you have to feel lonely?

Before you get the chance to meet someone

Before you get to meet someone like you?~

And there was no stab. It was like everything had stopped. Olivia slowly opened her eyes and turned to look behind her, but where Reed had been standing a moment before, there was no one.

It was just her, Elliot, the empty hallway and the song that seemed to fill her every cell.

~How many songs

Can you write about heartbreak?

How to go on

When you're fed up with mistakes?

Maybe I just found the answers

Maybe I just found the answers in you~

"El? Do you hear that?" Olivia's voice was a mere whisper, and she didn't wait for an answer as she felt her partner still lying in place. But for some reason it felt important to ask. Without noticing, her grip on his shirt began to tighten, and she swallowed hard as her gaze wandered down the hall.

~Come give me all your love

I want you to know

We can make it together

Let the wind blow

All we need is each other

Come take my hand

You're all that I have

Now I won't let you go, 'cause

I've found all the answers in you~

Olivia couldn't understand where Mr. Reed had gone. Perhaps all this was part of his plan; to distract her to leave Elliot, to walk into his trap again, and he would finally get everything he wanted. But at the same time, the music playing around them confused her, because she could not locate its source. The song seemed to be coming from everywhere, as if it came from within her, not so much from outside.

She lowered her gaze to Elliot again and pursed her lips.

~Take me away

I'm okay if I got you

We don't have to stay

We can do what we want to

Just give a little bit of your heart

Give a little bit of your heart to me~

Suddenly, she felt the weight of emotions inside her begin to grow too great, and she pulled her partner back into her arms. The wound in her thigh still sent blindingly strong waves of pain through her body, but as she pressed her cheek against his forehead, she suddenly felt like it was easier to breathe again.

~All my scars start to heal

When I am with you

And I can't explain how I feel

When I am with you

Just give a little of your heart,

give a little bit of your heart to me

Just come give me all your love~

And without noticing, the cry inside her started to gain strength, she held Elliot tighter against her and let the tears stream down her face. She prayed, prayed that someone would find them soon, prayed that the world wouldn't take her partner away from her.

Because he was her everything.

"I love you, El," she sobbed. "Please, don't leave me."

The music continued to play, but suddenly the light around them began to brighten, and she had to squint as she looked around.

She had no idea what was happening.

And as the light grew so bright around them that she had to close her eyes again, she leaned her cheek against Elliot's and took a deep breath.

~I want you to know

We can make it together

Let the wind blow

All we need is each other

Come take my hand

You're all that I have

Now I won't let you go, 'cause

I've found all the answers in you~

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When Olivia next opened her eyes, she was no longer in the prison corridor. Instead, her eyes landed on the white painted ceiling, she heard the uncomfortably familiar beeping of equipment, and as she moved her hand, she felt the sheet underneath.

It had only been a dream.

But one thing hadn't changed.

She was still hearing the same music.

Quickly she sat up, looked wildly around and tried to gather her thoughts. And then she realized that the music was coming from a radio that was quietly playing on the windowsill next to her.

Taking a deep breath, she realized she had an oxygen mustache. The beeping machine beside her was measuring her heart rate and blood oxygen saturation.

She was in the hospital.

She had survived.

But how…

Where's Elliot?

Panic began to spread within her as she became more aware of what was happening around her. Hurriedly, she searched for the nurse's call, reflexively pressed it before she could even give her hand a command, and quickly she swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Earth spun in her eyes, but she forced herself to focus, and just as she was about to tear the oxygen mustache from her face, the door opened and a nurse entered the room, Fin following her.

It took a couple of seconds for them to realize what was happening, and then they were beside her, holding her hands so she couldn't detach herself from the devices that were helping her, and then gentle but determined hands began to push her back towards the bed. Olivia's brain tried to resist, but her body wouldn't obey her, and against her will, she slumped down to sit on the bed. However, her body's disobedience did not mean that her panic had subsided – quite the opposite.

"Liv, Liv!" Fin, who had sat down on the chair, tried to get her attention. "Damn it, I was only gone for a couple of minutes..."

Olivia didn't hear him though; her head was spinning as her body didn't have enough oxygen for her panicking heart.

"Ma'am, you need to calm down," there was the nurse's voice somewhere far away, but she didn't react to it. The panic attack was gripping her throat, preventing her from speaking, and then she heard Fin's voice, louder and more commanding this time.

"Liv, you're okay. You're in the hospital. Elliot is here and he's okay too, did you hear me? You're both okay, but you need to calm down or you'll pass out again. Breathe, Olivia. Do you hear me? Breathe with me."

It was as if hearing Elliot's name opened a lock inside Olivia, and finally her body began to respond to Fin's voice. She took a breath, took another, and gradually the spinning of her head began to subside.

Elliot is here.

Elliot is okay.

And when she finally felt like she could breathe normally again, she turned her gaze to Fin, and a tired but warm smile spread across his face.

"Well, hey there."

"Hey," her voice was quiet and hoarse, and talking made her cough, but the nurse looked at her encouragingly.

"The oxygen saturation of your blood looks fine at the moment, and as long as you keep the oxygen mustache on your face and try to take it easy..." She raised her eyebrows a little. "…You should be fine. You had moderate carbon monoxide poisoning, but now the situation is stable."

"How about my partner?" She managed to ask, and the nurse glanced at Fin.

"She means Detective Elliot Stabler."

"Oh, sorry, of course," the nurse glanced at her papers. "I'm not sure if I can give more detailed information if…"

"Oh, c'mon," Fin answered before Olivia could even open her mouth. "Detective Benson almost died saving him…" He pursed his lips and glanced at her from under his brows. "I think you can tell her how he is."

The nurse raised her eyebrows in a bit of surprise, but then nodded.

"Sure. He…" She went through her papers. "He had to be given slightly more intensive oxygen therapy, but the situation is also stable at the moment. You can go see him after the doctor has checked you, and you take supplemental oxygen with you."

"Thank you," Olivia whispered as she sighed deeply. The nurse smiled at her before leaving the room, and then Fin leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.

"So, I guess you want to know what happened after your "fun little whim"?"

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Moments later, Olivia was walking with Fin towards Elliot's room, slowly but purposefully. The doctor had given her the green light for recovery, and since then she had wanted nothing more than to see her partner.

Fin, who had been pretty pissed at first, had told her that the fire department had found them unconscious in the corridor at the last minute. With no information of the severity of their condition, Elliot had been taken straight to the hospital, still under arrest, but as long as Bull was on the loose, he wouldn't be free. The situation in the prison had finally been brought under control, and the warders were looking for him together with the police. She herself had been unconscious for several hours, and Fin had stayed with her at the hospital when Cragen, Munch and Robin had had to go to the station because of Reed, Bull and paperwork.

Finally, after what seemed like a small eternity, they arrived at the door of Elliot's room. But even though Olivia had been waiting to see him since she had woken up, suddenly uncertainty took over her body, and she stopped and stood in front of the door, biting her lip.

It wasn't that she didn't want to see him.

It was that the last time they had seen each other, she had kissed him.

Well, technically he had kissed her too, but suddenly she wasn't sure. Maybe it had just been a momentary, near-death ecstasy, or maybe he had responded to her kiss because he hadn't wanted what they had thought would be their last moment to turn awkward.

Suddenly the kiss started to tingle on her lips, and she took a deep breath. She could feel Fin's gaze on the back of her neck, and at the same time she knew that his doubts would grow the longer she hesitated.

And as if reading her mind, he asked:

"Liv?"

"Yeah?" Her voice was still hoarse, but the urge to cough had begun to ease as she spoke.

"You... Okay?" She could sense Fin's appraising look even though she wasn't looking at him. "You want some… Um… Privacy?"

It's now or never, she thought as she nodded and put her hand on the doorknob. "If you don't mind?"

"No, it's okay," he answered as he took a step back. "Actually, it's just better that I'm not seeing Stabler's stupid, goofy grin when he realizes that you saved his ass once again.

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Elliot's room was darker than Olivia's had been when she entered the room and closed the door quietly behind her. He was laying still in the bed, the oxygen mask on his face, and carefully she walked over to her partner, thinking that he was asleep.

Slowly she sat down on the chair next to the bed, turned her gaze to him and sighed deeply. His hand was handcuffed to the edge of the bed, to make sure he couldn't escape. She watched him, and he looked so tired, so vulnerable, that tears welled up in her eyes, and suddenly all she wanted was to touch him, to be reassured that he was still alive, that they had survived, and that nothing else mattered.

But just as she was about to raise her hand, he opened his eyes, and after blinking for a moment, he slowly turned his head towards her, locked her blue eyes with her, and smiled faintly.

And it didn't need anything else. Her jaw started to quiver, tears clouded her eyes, and she had to close them. But then she felt a hand on her arm, and she opened her eyes, waiting for the familiar electric shock to rush through her body, but it didn't. Instead, Elliot's hand felt warm, safe as he slid his hand along her arm and gently, very gently, intertwined their fingers and squeezed lightly.

And no words were needed, because they both knew.

They were okay.

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Olivia couldn't tell how long she had been sitting in Elliot's room, just holding his hand, when there was a knock on the door.

"Can I come in?"

Cragen's voice made Olivia pull her hand away, and Elliot put his own hand back on the bed just as their Captain opened the door.

"Hi," he greeted, and to her surprise, Robin, Fin and Munch also entered the room after him. Robin glanced uncertainly at Elliot, moved nervously in place, but then he took a couple of steps towards her and crouched so that their eyes were at the same level. Olivia could almost feel Elliot's gaze boring into them, and she swallowed.

"I'm… I'm so sorry…" He sighed, placed his hand on her knee, and this time it sent a familiar, uncomfortable electric shock through her body. "I should have listened to you, I should have been there, I…" The words seemed to get stuck in his throat, and Olivia couldn't get a word out of her mouth because she was so taken aback by her current partner's strong reaction. They had literally just met, and she could still almost feel the guilt of the man in front of her.

"I…"

But then a rough, hoarse voice from beside her made everyone's heads turn:

"I'm sorry but..." Elliot coughed while holding on to his oxygen mask, which he had lifted from his mouth. "But who the hell are you?"

Robin seemed to snap out of his trance as he cleared his throat, stood up, and hesitantly held out his hand towards Elliot. He didn't take it though, just flashed him a suspicious look from under his brows, and Robin dropped his hand back down.

"I'm Detective Robin Bailey, Detective Benson's new partner. I was transferred from the Bronx and started…" He glanced at his watch. "Today."

Oh no.

Time in the room seemed to stand still as everyone waited with bated breath for Elliot's reaction. Slowly Robin's words began to sink into his consciousness, he frowned and sat up, directing his eyes to their Captain who grimaced.

"I'm sorry, Elliot," he answered. "I didn't want you to hear it this way, but I hope you understand that I had no other options."

"But not a very impressive start," Fin snorted and crossed his arms over his chest, causing Munch to poke him with his elbow, and Elliot's gaze shifted from Cragen to him.

"What do you mean?"

"I… Uh…" He started stammering as he realized his mistake, because now was not the right time to tell what had happened at Reed's base. But the accident had already happened, the words had escaped his lips, and Elliot wasn't going to let it be.

But then Robin sighed, and completely unaware of the risk he was about to take, he opened his mouth:

"He's right. We were arresting Ralph Reed, and we were instructed to stick together," he nodded his head towards Olivia who begged, begged with her eyes for him to shut up but to no avail. "However, I didn't listen to her when she asked us to go back in the direction we had already checked, and I didn't notice that she wasn't following me anymore. I'm sorry!" He exclaimed as Fin snorted audibly again. "I was so focused on our task that I just assumed she was following me, and when I got back to the front door, Detective Tutuola noticed that she wasn't. We went looking for her, and she… Reed was on the ground, and she had just handcuffed him. And I…"

And then he closed his eyes and began to rub his face, not noticing how the flames of anger had ignited in Elliot's eyes, and he had clenched his fists.

"How long?" He asked in a voice that was nothing more than a low growl, and Robin opened his eyes.

"Sorry?"

"How. Long?"

"How long she was alone?" Robin asked but when Elliot didn't answer he just shook his head. "I'm not sure, maybe a few minutes?"

It was as if Munch and Fin had foreseen what was going to happen next, because in a few leaps they were at Elliot's bedside, just in time to grab him before he was about to jump off the bed. The handcuffs clattered against the bed rail as he tried to yank himself free, Robin took a few steps back, and the next thing he knew, Cragen was already pushing him out of the room. It wasn't until Olivia stood up, placed a hand on Elliot's shoulder, and called his name that they managed to calm him down, and a violent fit of cough shook his body.

"Okay," Cragen closed the door again and looked at Elliot, who may have calmed down physically, but the anger was still burning in his eyes, intensively and menacing. "Since we don't want Stabler to choke in this bed, I'll change the subject for a moment and tell you that Bull has been caught. He is currently being transported for interrogating, and I would need John with me."

Munch nodded, took a step closer to Olivia and patted her lightly on the shoulder. "Not your smartest trick, but I gotta say, I'm glad to see you both alive, wearing matching outfits," he grinned before going after their Captain, and Fin started heading towards the door as well, his face half grimacing and half amused.

"Good luck," he chuckled before disappearing through the door, and after the door closed, a soft silence descended on the room again. Olivia didn't dare to turn her head, to meet her partner's gaze, but then he asked quietly:

"A new partner, huh?"

Olivia let out a deep sigh and then turned her gaze to him. His face had an unreadable expression, some kind of mixture of sadness, anger, disappointment, and she gulped.

"I know. But Cragen really had no choice. We were about to drown under the work and I…" She started to cough, and out of the corner of her eye, she saw Elliot clench his fists again.

"He left you alone with Reed?" Anger began to echo in her voice again, and Olivia had no choice but to nod. The truth had already come out; there was no point trying to cover it up, and she knew Elliot wouldn't buy her lies. Tears began to well up in her eyes again, and she had to fight them back so she wouldn't reveal to her partner how serious the situation had really been.

But Elliot saw right through her.

Of course he did.

"Liv…" The anger had disappeared from his voice, it was replaced by softness, and at that moment Olivia finally lost the fight against her tears. She lowered her head, closed her eyes, and tears rolled down her cheeks as she curled into herself, and for the first time in weeks, she finally allowed herself to truly face what had happened. For so long she had just pushed it aside, suppressed her feelings under other, more important things, and now the crying began to pour through her like an unstoppable, merciless stream.

For a while she just cried, let everything she had bottled up inside pour out, and she didn't even care that her partner saw it. She was too tired; all that stress, distress and worry had turned into budding relief, and she no longer had the strength or means to gather her emotions. All the reasons she'd been able to hold herself together had vanished the moment she'd felt Elliot's lips against hers and seen him alive and safe in the hospital bed.

But then she felt a hand on her cheek, and she opened her eyes. Elliot's blue eyes were glittering with tears as he stroked her cheek gently with his thumb, so gently that it caused another wave of tears to erupt from inside her.

"Come here."

Elliot's words were like a whisper that swept over her like a light breeze. And without a second thought, she stood up, sat next to Elliot on the bed, and with his free hand, he pulled her against him and wrapped his arm around her. Gently, he pressed his lips to her forehead before lowering the oxygen mask back over his face, and Olivia clung to him with all of her last strength.

"It's okay," he whispered, even though they both knew it wasn't true.

She wasn't okay.

But as long as she got to sob in her partner's arms, against his chest, listen to his steady heartbeat and wrap herself in the warmth that radiated from him, she was more okay than she had been in weeks.

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Don't kill me, I don't know if you are really able to walk with an oxygen mustache.