Mia

The next afternoon, Mia took the bus to the U District and got off at 42nd and University. Liam was waiting for her at the bus stop, as promised.

His eyes widened as Mia approached. "Are you Mia?" Liam bounced on his toes, grinning from ear to ear. "Omigosh, I can't believe you're here!"

His excitement was infectious, and Mia smiled as he opened his arms for a hug. She stepped into his warm embrace, feeling like she was greeting an old friend rather than a stranger. Liam's sweatshirt was soft against her face, and he smelled pleasantly of detergent and body spray. Mia remembered that scent - eau du college boy, one who had made an effort to shower and put on clean clothes. She was honored that he had gone through the trouble.

"You're even prettier than I imagined!" Liam announced when he finally let her go. "Your hair is so cool! And your tattoos!"

Mia laughed at his enthusiasm. He was like a puppy. She just hoped he wouldn't pee on her shoes. "C'mon," she said, linking her arm through his. "Let's go get some coffee."

They walked north to the coffee shop next to the University's bookstore. It was a rare sunny day, and the line of students spilled from the shop onto the sidewalk. They took their place in line, with Liam still staring at her in wonder.

"Stop!" Mia told him, laughing. "You're making me self-conscious!"

"It's just…you're nothing like what I pictured! Am I what you expected?"

"I've seen your picture," Mia reminded him.

"Yeah, but still."

Mia looked him over. He was only about six inches taller than her 5'2", with golden blond hair that could have used a cut, and sparkling blue eyes. He wore a college hoodie and worn jeans with dirty Vans on his feet. He looked exactly how she had anticipated - a country boy who had come to the city to study at the university. He was wholesomeness personified in an adorably eager package.

"You're even cuter than I thought you would be."

Liam blushed deeply at that, finally breaking eye contact. But he recovered quickly, rambling on about his online gaming, Seven's genius as a hacker, and Zayn's talent as an actor, until Mia thought he would pass out from lack of oxygen. They finally reached the counter and placed their orders. Minutes later, they had their beverages and were back on the sidewalk. They meandered further north on The Ave, as it was known to locals, enjoying the caffeine and sunlight. When they reached 50th, they cut over into a residential area with shaded streets bordering old houses that were divided up into student housing. As they walked towards Liam's apartment, Mia said, "So, how has school been going this semester?"

Liam looked glum. "I don't know. I haven't been that motivated to do schoolwork lately."

"You've seemed distracted," Mia said, diplomatically. "Like you have a lot on your mind."

"Yeah." They reached one of the large, stately homes and paused in the shade of the porch while Liam searched for his keys. "It's just…nothing really seems to matter now that Rita is gone."

Liam opened the front door into a spacious but bare foyer, and they descended the stairs to his basement apartment. The smell of oregano and basil assaulted Mia as they entered, originating from a gently bubbling pot on the stove. "It smells amazing in here."

"Good!" Liam perked up at the compliment. "You can have a seat while I assemble the lasagna and put it in the oven. Unless you want to chop the vegetables for the salad?"

"I would love to."

They went to work, side-by-side, in the small galley kitchen. Liam spread the layers of noodles, sauce and cheese into the pan, brow furrowed in concentration, while Mia chopped the cucumbers and tomatoes for the salad. Finally, the casserole went into the oven while the salad went into the refrigerator.

"Do you want something to drink?" Liam offered. "I have water and soda."

"Water's fine."

Liam filled two glasses with water and led Mia to the battered couch, the only seating in the modest living space. Diagonally across the room, next to the kitchen, sat a round, wooden table with two matching chairs. There were two closed doors on that same side of the apartment, presumably leading to the bed and bathroom. Since very little natural light reached the underground dwelling, plenty of overhead lighting had been installed to brighten the room. The apartment was humble and utilitarian, but an effort had obviously been made to render it clean and comfortable. Mia was still taking stock of her surroundings when Liam suddenly blurted, "Did you mean what you said before about not dating a guy who plays games all the time?"

Startled by the abrupt change of subject, Mia asked, "What?"

"When Zayn asked in the chat if you would date a guy who played games and was failing out of school…"

"Oh."

"Is it really so bad to like games?" Liam anxiously rolled his glass back and forth between his palms.

"No, of course not. I like games, too."

"You do?"

"Sure. But like anything else, I think they can become a problem if you don't play in moderation."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, like when you stay up all night gaming and miss class," Mia pointed out, gently.

"Oh." Liam blushed. "I feel like…I just need someone to motivate me to do better. If I had a girlfriend…"

"I'm not so sure about that."

"What do you mean?"

"When we were in the coffee shop earlier, there were at least three different girls checking you out. And you didn't even notice. If you were so interested in having a girlfriend, wouldn't you be checking them out, too?"

"I do want a girlfriend," Liam insisted. "But the girls I like don't like me back."

"How do you know if they like you, if you don't talk to any of them?" When Liam remained silent, Mia said, "I think you have this idea in your head that if you had a girlfriend, everything in your life would be better. But in your heart, you know that's not true. Having a girlfriend won't help you figure out your future career. Having a girlfriend won't make the pain from losing Rita go away."

Tears welled in his eyes. "I miss her so much. It seems like everyone else in the RFA has just moved on so easily, but she was my family! Even though she was my cousin, she was like a big sister to me. She encouraged me to be a good student, and to become a part of the RFA in order to help the less fortunate. And I'm sad, but I'm mad, too! How can everything just go on as before, like nothing happened? Why am I the only one stuck in the same place?"

Liam's confession broke Mia's heart. Emotionally, he was in pieces, and he was desperately searching for someone to put him back together. She wished that she could be that person. But she knew from personal experience that the only one who could fix Liam was Liam.

Mia took Liam's hand, intertwining her fingers with his. "I understand how you feel. I really, truly do." Mia hesitated, before confessing, "I lost my dad when I was in high school."

Liam looked at her, wide-eyed. "For real?"

"Yeah. He had cancer." Mia swallowed around the lump in her throat. "He and I were really close. But after he died, my mom remarried, and there was no place for me in her new family. I was 18, and basically alone in the world."

"Ohhh," Liam sighed, sympathetically. "Mia, I'm so sorry."

"Thanks. But the point is, I felt just like you do now. I missed my dad so much, I couldn't stand it. And I couldn't understand how the world just kept turning when everything in my life was falling apart."

Liam nodded his understanding.

"It was a really hard time, and I made it worse by making a lot of stupid choices. And eventually, something bad happened to me…something that could have been so much worse." Mia paused to collect herself. Even all these years later, it was hard for her to think about. "It scared the hell out of me, but it also opened my eyes. I realized that my dad would have been ashamed of the way I was living. That even if I didn't care what happened to me, he would have. So I made some changes. Not all at once, but gradually. And it wasn't always easy. But now…well, I just hope he would be proud of who I am."

Liam squeezed her hand. "I know that he would be."

Mia squeezed back. "Rita loved you, Liam. She would want you to live your life to the fullest. What that means is up to you to figure out. Missing someone never goes away. But you have to find a way to go on without them."

"I know." Tears flowed down his cheeks. "It's just hard."

"Yeah, it is. It's really hard." Mia took his face in her hands, brushing his tears away with her thumbs. "But you are so smart, and cute, and sweet. And you have friends that care about you. And when you're ready, you'll have a girlfriend, too. And she will be the luckiest girl in the world! Heck, if I were a little younger…"

Liam smiled sadly, through his tears. "Is that your way of letting me down easy?" When Mia remained silent, he added, "It's okay. I know you like Zayn. I'd choose him too, if I were you."

Mia wrapped her arms around him, and they stayed like that for a long time, two reluctant survivors providing comfort to each other in an indifferent world.

Later, as Mia rode the bus home, she texted Zayn:

M: Are you busy?

Z: Never too busy for you, pretty lady!

Z: Did you have dinner with Liam?

M: Yeah. Headed home now.

Z: How was it?

Mia considered how to respond. Dinner had turned out great, and their conversation had eventually migrated to happier topics. Liam had seemed lighter after sharing his burden, but Mia was left feeling emotionally drained. Additionally, she didn't feel comfortable sharing the details of their discussion with Zayn. It had been too intimate, and too difficult to explain in a text, even if she had been so inclined. When she didn't immediately reply, Zayn added:

Z: He didn't poison you, did he?

Mia actually laughed out loud. The other passengers on the bus pointedly ignored her, accustomed to riding alongside crazy people.

M: No, he's actually a pretty good cook!

Z: Well, that's a relief.

Z: You sure you're okay?

Was he really able to discern her mood through a simple chat? Or were they still discussing the consequences of Liam's cooking?

M: Better now.

Z: Good. I'm here if you need me.

Z: Oh, and I have a new song I'm working on…

Z: I can't wait to share it with you tomorrow!

M: Looking forward to it.

Zayn replied with a heart emoji, and Mia tucked her phone into her pocket, a smile on her face. It didn't make sense that their simple exchange could lift her spirits, but it had. She could feel herself wanting to throw caution to the wind when it came to Zayn, and that scared her. It would be smarter to take things slowly. Safer.

And yet, when she thought about meeting him in person the following day, the butterflies fluttered wildly in her stomach as her mind imagined countless scenarios. Mia took a deep breath, attempting to calm her nerves as she gazed out the window through the glare of the passing streetlights. It was too soon to be feeling all of these emotions. Too soon to be turning to a virtual stranger when she was feeling pensive.

Was this what it felt like to fall for someone? Mia had never been in love. First, she had been too young; then, too intoxicated; and lastly, too traumatized. With the exception of one high school boyfriend, which may or may not have counted, she had never even had a real relationship. She had never before felt this loss of control, where her mind kept telling her one thing, but her heart kept right on doing whatever the hell it wanted. In fact, her heart was usually fairly well-behaved, and not at all given to wild flights of fancy. Which was why this new infatuation continuously took her by surprise. She hadn't even met Zayn yet. Maybe she was just building this all up in her head. Maybe there would be no chemistry at all between them when they met.

Or maybe all these feelings would become, like, a bazillion times stronger.

With a groan, Mia dropped her forehead against the cool glass of the window. As the night rushed by outside, her reflection stared bleakly back at her, but offered no solutions to her current dilemma.