Chapter 11 – The Dragon

Author's Note: In which Anakin and Obi-Wan are saved by a dragon. :)

WARNING: Too many mentions of Mustafar, perhaps? xP

~ Tirana Sorki

Obi-Wan helps pull Anakin to his feet, doing his best to force his overwhelming emotions to the back of his mind to focus on later. Anakin is standing unsteadily and leaning against him, face pale and drawn.

Sidious stands as well, looking towards the approaching dragon. They need to move, and fast, or they're all going to die here. And Obi-Wan did not go through all of this only to lose Anakin again. "Get to the ship," Obi-Wan orders, shoving him forwards.

"Right," Anakin says, shaking himself out of a daze, and they break into a run.

Obi-Wan never paid much mind to the proximity of the ship, and it's closer than he thought. Anakin somehow makes it to the pilot's seat first, even though he literally can't walk straight.

Obi-Wan closes the ramp the moment they enter to prevent Sidious from getting aboard. The engine fires and Anakin takes off, not a moment too soon. Sidious is doing a good job distracting the dragon from them, albeit accidently. It all happens so fast.

And as he watches the dragon eat all Dark Siders below them in one bite, he can't help thinking about how fitting it was.

They came close, so close to dying – both of them, and he's exhausted. He hasn't dealt with battle and everything that comes with it for long enough that he doesn't much remember how to, even if his body from this point in time thankfully does, or he wouldn't even have made it this far. That was much of the problem he was struggling with in the future.

Next to him, Anakin is still breathing hard, expression wan.

It takes another few minutes for Anakin to take the ship back to their cave, safely out of the way of the krayt dragon that Obi-Wan didn't even know lived in this area. Anakin lays his head on his arm on the dashboard with a soft groan. "Is he dead?" he questions.

He thinks of the rapidly fading presence belonging to Darth Sidious. "Yes. Yes, he is."

"Are you okay?" Anakin asks, voice muffled by his arm.

Obi-Wan hesitates for a moment – he isn't, but he's more worried about Anakin. Anakin is the one Sidious was hurting most. "Are you?"

"I – I will be. Thank you."

Neither of them is brave enough to touch on what they saw from one another's memories. Obi-Wan has no idea how to... mention it. He doesn't know how to apologize to Anakin for everything that happened.

Obi-Wan finally reaches over, laying his hand on his shoulder. He doesn't know what can be said now. Anakin leans into it but doesn't otherwise react. "Come," Obi-Wan says finally, standing, ignoring the exhaustion and lingering pain. He hasn't been electrocuted in a very, very long time.

Idly, he suspects Anakin may be too overwhelmed to react. He is, too. He has no idea how to deal with everything he just witnessed. "Can you... tell me what happened in your time?" Anakin asks, lifting his head. He looks exhausted. "I want to know exactly what I did that you judged me for."

Obi-Wan's heart clenches. He has no idea how to start explaining all of this to Anakin. he doesn't want to, either. But Anakin is asking, and it only seems fair. "I saw the recordings," he replies, "I saw the destruction in the Temple. I saw everything Vader did there."

Anakin pulls back, rubbing his flesh hand over his face. "Why," he asks roughly, "Why did you do that?"

He saw. He knows, and Obi-Wan doesn't know what to think about that. He had to help Anakin, regardless of the consequences. He never thought about the aftermath until right now. "I couldn't kill you."

"I would have preferred it if you had."

"It doesn't matter," Obi-Wan argues, "It didn't happen. It's not going to."

"But it could have. It would have, if you hadn't come here, and I would be – would be living in the aftermath of that, wanting to know. What would make you, Obi-Wan, do this?" There's a weighted look in his eyes, one of both pain and honest confusion.

And under the face of it, he has no idea how to react or answer it. "I couldn't," he repeats, hating how helpless he feels, "And I... wanted to hurt him."

"But that's not you," Anakin objects. "You would never. You're... too good for that."

And really, what can he say to that? Because Anakin is wrong. For the briefest moment, he can't help wondering if this was what Vader thought, too. So, he doesn't say anything.

Not even when Anakin turns away from him and buries his face in his arm again, body shaking with a shuddering sob.

He loathes feeling this... helpless. Hesitantly, he reaches over, touching Anakin's shoulder again. It stings more than he cares to think about when Anakin doesn't immediately lean into it like he once would have.

"I would've done it," Anakin murmurs, "I thought... it was for the best. Palpatine told me if the Jedi lived, there would be civil war without end, and I know what the galaxy has endured with the Clone Wars. I knew you would be... angry at me, but I believed it was... the only choice."

He wishes he knew what to say to that. He doesn't. "Anakin," he says, softly. It's all he can find in himself to say.

He inhales shakily. "I love you too, Obi-Wan. So much I wish I didn't."

It hurts. It feels like it's burning what's left of his heart to ash – he felt like that on Mustafar, too. He doesn't know what to do. He raises his hand, lightly running it through Anakin's hair. Obi-Wan never... considered what that would do to Anakin. He doesn't know why.

"Anakin," he repeats, almost reverently. For a moment, it feels almost like he just got Anakin back again, is holding him for the first time. It's been ten years, but he still hasn't fully accepted it. He stands, ignoring the pain still lingering in his body, and wraps his arms around Anakin. His padawan twists his seat around to face Obi-Wan, wrapping his arms around him and burying his face in his chest.

It's all he's wanted for so, so long, and he's forgotten how revealing, how grounding it is to just... hold someone. How much simpler his life feels when he holds Anakin in his arms, and they can just be.

He's exhausted, though – he always is, and has been for a long time, a sort of bone-deep exhaustion that nothing can get rid of. Now, at least, he knows it's from having been electrocuted. His body is still throbbing everywhere, and he would very much like to sleep. Not as if sleeping it off will help too much, though.

Truthfully, he's not fully certain how to handle his newly forged closeness with Anakin. It's... relieving, but it's also highly disconcerting.

He also wishes he knew what to say.

"Obi-Wan," Anakin murmurs, still not making a move to pull back. "Don't blame yourself for any of this. We stopped Sidious, didn't we?"

"Yes, we did." He feels off-balance now that he's standing, and being touched hurts, but he's not about to let go.

"Technically, the dragon defeated him. My... mother used to tell me the story of a sun-dragon. When I was little – a dragon that was strong enough to protect everyone it loved. She told me that's what I was. That's what I tried to be. Except all I ever did was destroy. Why is that all I'm good for?"

He doesn't know. He really, really doesn't know the answer, but the pain of it feels as if it's eating him inside out. It hurts. "I don't know." He wishes he knew how to show affection like normal people do, but he never has. And frankly? Right now, he's too tired to. He hasn't fought battles more than a few times for ten years, and he doesn't really remember how to handle the sheer exhaustion of it. He would never have had to get used to it if he hadn't been thrown back into the past, either.

But right now? What Anakin needs is his help. Sidious hurt him during the duel, badly, and Obi-Wan really has no idea if they even have the supplies to take care of it. "I wish I knew what I could tell you, Anakin, but I don't."

"It would have, if you hadn't come here, and I would be – would be living in the aftermath of that, wanting to know."

Anakin hadn't said it accusingly, but he can't stop thinking, wondering, anyway. Vader had told him, and... But now that he's back here again, he can't help questioning it. Because maybe it was something he could have fixed. If he had stayed on Coruscant in the first place, stayed with Anakin when his padawan needed him...

"Why were you willing to?" Obi-Wan asks, "Why would you betray the Jedi?"

"I thought you betrayed me. You – you asked me to commit treason and betray everything the Order has stood for. Palpatine told me the Jedi were planning to take over and it made sense. Because it... you asked me that. You. And I didn't know if you were right or not, but it didn't change how..."

Eyes closed, he presses his cheek to Anakin's hair. He doesn't know what to say. He's still angry and he always will be, but that doesn't mean he loves Anakin any less. He didn't, even... before, though he understood that the Dark Side had destroyed him and had made Vader. Master Yoda had told him, and he had seen it, though he never fully separated the two until Vader told him to. Mostly because he could never forget Padme's last words – "There is still good in him."

He wishes he'd noticed all the pain Anakin endured throughout their lives. He never noticed, and this, at least, is his failure. He should have known and seen it. This was his padawan.

He would never have known, if he didn't see it all completely by accident in Anakin's mind.

He would never have known how all of this led to Anakin's Fall in the first place, and a traitorous part of his mind is wondering how different Vader really was from Anakin. (Maybe he would wonder a little less, if he didn't remember Vader calling him. But accepting that he may still have been Anakin is... No, he can't. That would mean everything he went through was for naught. That it was all a lie. That he hurt Anakin when he didn't have to.)

"Perhaps we should... go speak with Padme," he suggests finally. "Now that Sidious is gone, he is not a concern. I can tell her we're coming."

"Alright," Anakin agrees, pulling back. Obi-Wan leaves him there to go back to his – their – cave.

Going back there is almost like stepping back in time – forwards, technically, but he remembers being here alone for years so vividly.

Now is not the time to get lost in memories, but he can't help it. It hurts so, so much to see this place again, to think of how he spent ten years of his life here when he didn't have to. If he had been able to stop all of this in the first place... Anakin had wanted to go with him to find Grievous. If not for his mission, Obi-Wan would've wanted him to go, too. He didn't think this would be a fight they could win, knowing how the cyborg somehow always managed to escape.

And if not for his mission, there's a high chance he would never have Fallen in the first place.

He's going to see Luke and Leia again, and Obi-Wan never much considered the enormity of how the twins who were ten last time he saw them are now babies.

They were both so much like their parents. Taking care of Leia had been so like how it was Anakin at first – he had been constantly paranoid of failing her like he did Anakin, and with Anakin he was constantly afraid of failing him like he did Qui-Gon. Both of them had been so light and cheerful about it. They had been calm, and they had been ready for it. Obi-Wan was the one who wasn't.

Now that he has Anakin back, he still doesn't know where to start handling it. He doesn't know how to... deal with it.

He remembers with distinct clarity the first months after Qui-Gon was lost. He remembers waking up sometimes to see Anakin was beside him, too afraid to let him out of sight. He never understood Anakin so much until now, because that's exactly how he feels about Anakin – too afraid to let him out of sight, lest he just... disappear again.

Like he did last time.

There had been nothing like the fear he lost Leia to the Sith when he awoke after... Mapuzo. And Leia had been brave throughout it all – it hadn't been until one of the stormtroopers was holding her at blaster point that she seemed to finally realize how much she wanted to go home.

Anakin was so much the same on their first mission. Living in constant chaos and violence, staying at the Temple for months was driving him crazy and he insisted on going. It had been Yoda who eventually told Obi-Wan to take Anakin with him. It wasn't until one of the pirates had a hold on Anakin, a blade pressed to his neck that he realized the severity of the situation.

Obi-Wan still remembers that with clarity. He had been so scared even if he knew Jedi shouldn't feel fear. Not so deeply. He had tried to stay calm, but it hadn't been easy. All he could think of was not my padawan, not Anakin, he's my promise, I can't fail him.

Except even then, it had been Anakin who saved them. Somehow, even though he was just learning the Force, he was still so advanced and skilled. How a hardly trained ten-year-old was able to throw a barrage of rocks at someone without moving his hand is still beyond him – he has never been able to understand the depth of Anakin's powers.

He shakes himself out of the memory, moving forwards. If only shaking off the depression that comes with it were this simple.

Except when he tries comming Padme, the signal won't go through. At first, he thinks it's odd. Then, he realizes that Sidious didn't come here alone. Of course, not. Why would he? He's the Emperor.

"They've probably blockaded the planet," Anakin says grimly when Obi-Wan returns.

It's moments like this that he really misses the clones. They could definitely do with an army right about now. "What do you suggest?" he asks.

"Either we can wait it out, or leave," Anakin replies, "What do you say, Master?"

"Go around," Obi-Wan decides finally, "Staying won't do us any good."

**w**

Obi-Wan looks rather freaked out the entire time, but Anakin makes it past all three Star Destroyers and into hyperspace before they can get shot down with the attacking fighters. He tries not to think about how these are clones, the very people they've fought side-by-side with for so long.

It hurts to be attacked by them, but it's not as if he didn't go through the same with the Jedi.

Obi-Wan turns to him the moment they make the hyperspace jump. "I've forgotten how insane your flying was," he huffs.

"We're still alive," Anakin points out with a feigned lightness. He doesn't feel light. He's still in shock from what he saw. He knew Obi-Wan thought he was dead for some reason, but seeing it? This is his master. He doesn't understand. He probably never will. Obi-Wan wasn't... selfish like that. He wasn't cruel. Knowing that he was capable of something so brutal numbs him to the core.

It numbs him enough that he hardly feels the pain from where Sidious literally kicked him open earlier, or that it's bleeding.

"Anakin," his master says, and for all that it sounds soft and caring Anakin simply can't trust that anymore. Whatever little trust he had has been irrevocably shaken and changed, though he doesn't know why. This would hardly be the first time Obi-Wan hurt him irreparably. "I saw Sidious hurt you again. I –"

He does not want Obi-Wan to touch him so intimately, not right now, but... "Okay," he says, pushing himself to his feet unsteadily. He feels faint, either from blood loss or electrocution, he's not sure. Or maybe just from fighting in such a hot atmosphere. And that's not to mention how badly his head is throbbing. Maybe he'll be able to think this through at a different point in time when it doesn't feel like he's being repeatedly smashed over the head with something.

He feels hands steady him, and for a painful moment, he yearns for Ahsoka and Rex – they might think the less of him, but he just doesn't... want this. And he feels guilty for needing it, seeing everything Obi-Wan himself just went through. "I can do it myself," he mutters.

"Really," Obi-Wan replies flatly. He sounds almost irked now.

Anakin barely manages to not flinch at that. He... doesn't understand. Doesn't have the mental space to. Not right now. Not when he's fairly certain his head will split in two any moment.

"Are you afraid of me?" Obi-Wan asks quietly.

He could swear they had this conversation before. "I don't know. Maybe. Sometimes."

"I'm sorry," Obi-Wan says, something almost haunted in his expression.

"Don't look like that," Anakin mutters. "You look too old."

Obi-Wan makes a sound that Anakin can't tell is a laugh or not. "Go lay down," he instructs, shoving him towards the door.

He goes without objection, all but collapsing onto the cot. Anakin almost feels bad about that, too – he can clearly feel Obi-Wan's own exhaustion. He shouldn't have to be taking care of Anakin right now.

Distantly, he hears Obi-Wan grumbling something as he pulls Anakin's boots off. "I forgot how frustrating this habit was."

He contemplates saying something, but he's too tired for anything coherent to come out. All he does know is that he misses his Jedi robes, but it was a much bigger hassle to put them back on.

He spends the entire time dozing on and off, the conscious part of his mind marveling at the gentleness with which Obi-Wan is touching him. It's not like it was... before. Finally, it actually feels as though they may have a chance to... get better. To heal. To figure out what in the galaxy they are to each other.

"That's all I can do for now. It's not bleeding anymore," Obi-Wan tells him, though he doesn't sound the happiest with... whatever Anakin's condition is, presumably.

Exhaustion threatens to pull him under, but he forces his eyes open for a moment anyway. "You should rest too, Master."

Obi-Wan lays a hand on his arm; something about the gesture feels almost... protective. It's so soft and warming it's enough to chase away whatever part of his mind is lingering on the pain. Anakin smiles up at him even through his exhaustion. "You too, Anakin," he says softly.

There's not much room, but Obi-Wan lays down next to him. Something in him whispers in warning over it, though Anakin is too tired to remember why.

It's... comfortable, having him here like this right next to him. Physical contact has always helped him, and he'd snuggle closer if there was enough room, but there isn't. He's too worn out to even remember why he's worn out right now, though. The last thing he feels is Obi-Wan taking his flesh hand, running a finger over the back of his hand, before he falls asleep.

When Anakin wakes up again, the first thing that hits him is that he can actually think. His head isn't pounding from pain anymore, even if his entire body still aches. He was electrocuted, after all, and that hasn't been treated, not properly.

Obi-Wan is still right next to him, and... Now that he's conscious, he suddenly doesn't know what to think. He... doesn't want to think about it at all right now. Doesn't want to accept that his master could have done something like that.

Part of him instantly wants distance just thinking about it, but maybe it's how little he's been able to touch someone in weeks – except the last couple days – that makes him want to stay here.

"Are you awake?" Obi-Wan asks quietly.

Anakin pointedly ignores the part of himself that instinctively wants to move closer, because he's equally as uncomfortable with this as he is, but he doesn't care enough to try moving anywhere. He wants to stay here, and besides, he's fairly certain that's what Obi-Wan wants. He makes a quiet sound in confirmation. They have a lot to talk about, but he... doesn't want to address it yet. He doesn't want this moment to end.

The time on Tatooine has been... hard. There was nothing like the sheer isolation of it. He's used to being around either Padme or Ahsoka or, of course, the 501st, but here all he had was Obi-Wan who was pointedly keeping his distance. He had ached for contact, craved it, but he wasn't comfortable to try initiating it. He had that problem sometimes as a padawan, too.

"I wish you had not seen that," Obi-Wan says finally, softly.

"Me too," Anakin murmurs, "But perhaps it was... necessary." He thinks he can somewhat understand his future-self's actions now, at least. It's freeing, but it's also... hard, knowing that Obi-Wan wasn't the person he always thought he was. Because everything in his life has revolved around Obi-Wan, and how his master was always so good, no matter if he frequently hurt Anakin. It never really... mattered. They were always Jedi first, and it would've stayed that way, except there no longer are Jedi.

Because of Sidious. Because Anakin failed to stop him on time.

And now he just feels... lost.

"How would it have been necessary?" Obi-Wan inquires, "I know I... can understand more easily where I went wrong now, but why would it have been necessary for you to see that?"

He hardly knows how to explain that. "I wanted to understand what I did in the future. I think I can understand what made me so... unhinged now."

Obi-Wan feels... He doesn't really know. He's not used to feeling such conflicted emotions from his master. "But you are not Vader," he objects.

Anakin sighs. He doesn't fully know what happened, but he's starting to suspect Obi-Wan is simply in firm denial out of guilt, which he can understand. "If... you hadn't stopped me at the Temple, I would have carried through with it. I wouldn't have realized it until later because it was war, and I... would not have time to realize the full extent of what I caused. I do not know how our fight started, but if – if you did that to me, I don't think I... I would have understood, but I could never forgive you for it. Not if I was already lost in the Dark."

He closes his eyes briefly, exhaustion overwhelming him again. "I don't know what all I had done or... any of it, but when I... joined Palpatine, there was nothing I wanted more than for you to be with me, but I knew better than to dream. You were always a Jedi. I would have known who's side you were on, even had you not been there to try killing Sidious. And... I would have considered you a traitor." I still did, he doesn't say. And maybe... part of me still does.

Obi-Wan is quiet for a long pause, thinking about... everything, probably. Perhaps the meeting he had with Vader in the future that Anakin never saw. "I still cannot understand how you did not know he was lying."

"I wasn't sure," Anakin replies with a trace of bitterness, "Everything the Council was doing made it seem as if he wasn't, but I... didn't want to believe. I wanted to come with you when you went to arrest him just so I could... know. It wasn't until you refused that I became certain the Council was the one lying to me."

"I wanted you to stay at the Temple because I didn't know if you had Fallen yet or not," he admits, "I feared you had already been working with Palpatine. I didn't know what happened to you."

If Obi-Wan had told him, none of this would've happened and... but he can't blame Obi-Wan for it. No one could be thinking clearly in such a situation. It's just... he always thought Obi-Wan, of all people, would somehow manage to... "What now, Master?" Anakin asks finally, "What will we do? The Jedi are still traitors."

"I don't know," Obi-Wan admits, "I never... thought about it. Perhaps we can get in contact with the remaining Jedi. In my time, Master Yoda was in exile on Dagobah. I do not know where to look for him now."

Which means they're pretty much at a dead end. They'll have to figure it out together... Somehow.

But they're almost to Naboo, and... he's about to be reunited with his family.

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