Warning: This chapter contains descriptions of attempted sexual assault. Reader discretion is advised.

Mia

A week ago, when Mia had walked into a stranger's apartment at the behest of an anonymous message, she never could have imagined all the ways in which her life had been about to change. Suddenly, she was doing meaningful work by raising money for a generous charity. She was living in a beautiful apartment in a high-rise downtown. Last, but not least, she was forming new friendships with people who she likely would never have encountered in her everyday life, but who were quickly becoming very important to her.

And then, there was this thing with Zayn. Mia was struggling to maintain some semblance of control over her desire, but there was no denying that she found his presence intoxicating. His beautiful face and glorious body were tantalizing, but if that had been all there was to him, Mia might have been able to resist. But he was also sweet, and endearingly insecure beneath the surface arrogance. They had fun when they were together. He was trying to quit smoking because she didn't like it, and he had been more than willing to listen to her suggestion for their creative collaboration. She admired his tenacity when it came to his career, and the confidence that it took to chase his dreams despite the overwhelming odds. Truth be told, Mia was more like Liam than Zayn. She was proud that she had clawed her way up from the depths of despair after the dark days that had followed her father's death, but she hadn't found her own passion yet. Sometimes, she doubted that she ever would.

When Zayn had gotten the call a short while earlier from his agent saying that he had gotten the role on the reality show, Mia had been beyond thrilled for him. The joy on his face had lit up the room. Without thinking, she had thrown herself into his arms, and the kiss that had followed had been nothing like the restrained interlude they had shared on the street the other day. This kiss had been all heat and pent-up desire unleashed, their tongues tangling in a frantic dance. When Mia had dragged her tongue bar across the roof of his mouth, the guttural sound Zayn had made had been so damn sexy that she'd had to clench her thighs tight around his waist in an attempt to soothe the ache between her legs. And when he'd pulled her into his lap on the couch, she had clearly felt that he wanted her as badly as she wanted him. If his phone hadn't rung, things definitely might have escalated quickly.

Too quickly.

But now, Zayn was reaching for her hand and pulling her off of the sofa. "So, will you celebrate with me?"

"What did you have in mind?" Mia asked, trying to get her raging hormones in check.

"It's a surprise. But I think you'll like it."

"Okay."

"But first…" Zayn went to a closet in the entry hall and pulled something out. "I got this for you." He unzipped the jacket and held it open for her. "Here, try it on."

Mia slid her arms into the jacket, and her first reaction was that it was heavier than she expected. The lining was soft, and the leather was supple. This wasn't a fashion piece - it was a practical garment meant to protect the wearer and keep them warm.

Zayn zipped it with a satisfied smile. "Looks like I got the size right. How does it feel?"

"It's amazing. But wasn't it expensive?"

Zayn shrugged. "If you're going to ride, you need to have the proper gear. You still need a helmet that fits, but I didn't want to guess at the sizing for that. I'll take you to get fitted soon, okay?"

Mia nodded.

"So, ready to take it for a test drive?"

"Hell yeah!"

"Damn, you look cute," Zayn muttered, before planting a soft kiss on her lips. "Okay, let's go."

They climbed onto the Ducati and slowly snaked their way down the steep hill. Zayn pulled into the parking lot of a grocery store and parked near the curb. "Wait here," he instructed, before disappearing through the doors. He returned quickly with two canvas bags, which he fit into the hard saddlebags on each side of the bike. Donning his helmet, Zayn swung his long leg over the seat while Mia leaned back in order to not get kicked in the face.

"Ready for a long ride?" he asked, twisting his torso to look at her before starting the motor. Mia nodded and wrapped her arms around him as they traversed the south side of the city to I-90, then headed east. There was still another hour or two until rush hour, so once they hit the freeway, they were able to pick up speed. The morning clouds had burned off, and the sun shone down on them as they passed through the populated suburbs into a more rural area.

Even though she hadn't had much experience before meeting Zayn, Mia loved being on the motorcycle. She felt the visceral connection to the road through the tires humming beneath her; inhaled the myriad scents floating on the air current rushing around her; and not least of all, was keenly conscious of the man in front of her. Her front was pressed seamlessly to his back, no space between them, and they moved as one as the powerful engine propelled them forward. He felt incredibly solid, and for reasons Mia would never have been able to articulate, she felt completely confident in his ability to keep them both safe.

The road began to wind as they gained altitude, the sunlight dappling the pavement as the overgrowth along the shoulders grew thicker. Zayn slowed as they approached a crossroad, and smoothly eased the bike onto the narrower lane. They proceeded carefully over the uneven surface for another mile or so until Zayn pulled over on a grassy embankment and killed the engine. For a long moment, the only sound was the motor ticking as it cooled after the long journey.

Mia climbed off, her legs rubbery. Zayn took their helmets and hung them over the handlebars, then retrieved the provisions from the saddlebags. Besides the canvas bags from the store, he handed Mia a thick blanket. "Do you mind carrying that?"

"Nope." She took it from him. "Do you need help with the bags?"

"I've got them." Zayn slung one over each shoulder."We have to walk a little ways, but it's not too far."

He led the way along a barely noticeable trail through the woods. It was cooler in the mountain foothills, but Mia was still sweating in the leather jacket by the time they emerged from the path into a clearing. When Mia saw the view, her mouth fell open.

"Wow." She crossed the open space and stood on the edge of a steep cliff, looking out over a scene from a painting. The valley below was filled with wildflowers, and at the furthest edge stood a picturesque town surrounded by farms with paddocks of livestock. Mia had never seen anything like it outside of a postcard.

"Beautiful, huh?" Zayn said, softly. Mia had been so captivated by the view that she hadn't even heard him approach. She gazed up at him, his fiery eyes and white hair shining in the sunlight, and her breath caught in her chest. It was hard to say which sight was more stunning.

"Absolutely," she whispered, her eyes never moving from his, her heart rate accelerating. "Thank you for bringing me here."

"You're welcome." Zayn finally broke the moment, nodding towards the clearing behind them. "Let's set this stuff down."

Mia spread the blanket out, and Zayn set the bags on top of it. He pulled out crackers, cheese, fruit, plastic cups, and a bottle of white wine. When Mia raised an eyebrow, he said, "You don't want to drink beer that's been bouncing around on a bike for hours. Trust me, I learned that the hard way."

She laughed as he poured two glasses and handed her one. Zayn raised his cup, and when Mia followed suit, he entwined his arm with hers. "To new friends, and new beginnings," Zayn toasted.

"To being brave," Mia replied, and they both took a sip. Afterwards, Zayn leaned in and kissed Mia softly. His lips were tangy from the wine, and warm from the sun.

They sat on the blanket, both of them removing their jackets to soak in the heat of the day. Mia tossed grapes at Zayn as he tried, and mostly failed, to catch them in his mouth. He fed her a strawberry, and she pretended to lick his fingers accidentally. Zayn gave her a heated look that promised deferred, yet delicious, retaliation.

When they'd had their fill, Zayn reclined on his back, and Mia laid on her side next to him, her head perfectly settled into the nook of his shoulder. Her free hand crept beneath the hem of his black henley, her fingertips idly tracing patterns on his flawless abs as she inquired, "How do you know about this place?"

"I found it by accident, not long after I bought the bike. My career had stalled, and my last relationship was a year in the past. I used to ride for hours, just to escape the doubts and loneliness. I saw another vehicle pulling out of the turnoff one day, so I parked and followed the trail. As soon as I saw that view, it was like I was suddenly more at peace. I love the city, but sometimes the constant noise makes it hard to think, you know?"

Mia nodded.

"Have you spent much time in the country?" Zayn asked.

"No. Have you?"

"Yeah. My grandparents had a farm in Oregon. My brother and I would spend a lot of time there in the summer. I didn't like it that much when I was young because they put us to work, getting up early to help with chores and stuff. But looking back, we would be done by late morning and have all day to run free, or swim in the river. We would have never been able to do that in the city."

"Sounds nice."

"Have you traveled much?"

Mia considered. "My dad took me to Disneyland once."

Zayn laughed. "That sounds fun."

"It was."

"Believe it or not, I've never been."

"You should go."

"Will you go with me? Introduce me to the mouse?" Zayn asked, looking down at her, and Mia giggled.

"Sure. Mickey's my homie. I'll hook you up."

"Awesome." His arm tightened around her. "There are so many places I want to see. I love the Northwest, but there's more to the world than this, you know?"

"You'll see them," Mia assured him. "If not on your first world tour, then on the second. Or third."

Zayn rolled toward her so that she was on her back, and he was propped on an elbow over her. "When you say things like that, you make me believe it's really possible," he whispered, staring into Mia's eyes.

Mia reached up and caressed one sculpted cheekbone. "Because it is. You can do anything you set your mind to, Zayn. I really believe that."

Slowly, he lowered his mouth to hers. The kiss was sweet and gentle. Mia slipped her hand from his face to grip the back of his neck, where the strands of his silky hair brushed the back of her fingers. Zayn lazily explored the contours of her lips, tasting and teasing until Mia was longing for more. When she caught his bottom lip in her teeth and gave it a soft tug, Zayn grunted and rocked his hips against her leg. Mia loved the feel of his long, lean body pressed against her, and she tugged his head lower so she could savor more of him.

But when Zayn shifted so that his weight was more fully on top of her, Mia suddenly began to panic. Although the sun was still shining above them, it felt dark in the shadow of his form, and she couldn't catch her breath. She turned her head to the side, tearing her lips from his. "Zayn," she gasped, trying to get his attention, but he seemed not to hear. When he continued to kiss her neck, still looming over her, Mia planted her hands on his chest and pushed, hard. "Zayn! Stop! Please!"

He promptly rolled off of her, a concerned frown creasing his brow, and Mia rose to one knee, gasping and trying to fill her lungs. She staggered to her feet and took one step, then another, tears of frustration and embarrassment forming in her eyes as she struggled for control. "Fuck!" she exclaimed, arms wrapped around her trembling torso.

Zayn stood and moved toward her, reaching out but letting his arm fall before making contact. "Mia…are you okay? What happened? Did I hurt you?"

Mia shook her head, biting her lip as the tears continued to leak out against her will. "No. It's not you. It's me." A manic laugh escaped her lips. "Sounds like a bad line, right?"

Zayn was understandably looking at her as if she might have lost her mind, and Mia tilted her head back, looking up at the blue sky, feeling the warmth on her skin, and slowly counting to ten. Breathe in, breathe out. Tears leaked into her hair, but they were beginning to slow. Another deep breath, and then she turned to face the very confused man next to her. "Can I have some more wine, please?"

Looking grateful for something to do, Zayn hurried to do as she asked as Mia paced a few steps to and fro, attempting to dispel the last of the adrenaline in her system. When Zayn handed her the plastic cup, she managed a smile. "Thanks." She took one long sip, then another. Her pulse slowed to the point that she didn't feel like a heart attack was imminent.

Mia drained the rest of the wine, took a shaky breath, and finally dared to meet Zayn's puzzled gaze. "It's true what I said. This wasn't about you. Today has been amazing. You did all of this for me when we were supposed to be celebrating you." Mia exhaled, heavily. "I thought I was past this. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She wanted to take his hand but couldn't bring herself to make physical contact just yet.

"So…what, then?"

"Can we sit?"

Zane nodded, and Mia sank cross-legged onto the blanket. Zayn sat facing her; close, but not touching. The sun was starting to go down, and Mia pulled on her new jacket. She craved the warmth, but also the extra buffer - even if it was merely symbolic.

"You remember when I told you about how my dad passed away when I was in high school?" Mia began. Zayn nodded. "Well, as much as my dad loved my mom, he also knew her pretty well. He arranged for some money to be left in a trust for me when he died, money that she couldn't touch and that I could access when I turned 18. My dad died in December. I turned 18 in March, and I graduated that May. The next day, I walked out of that house and I never went back again.

However, I was 18 and alone, with no idea what to do next. All my friends from high school were working or preparing for college, and I was just drifting. I had been accepted to college, but I couldn't imagine living with a bunch of strangers and having to pretend like everything was all right. Like I was all right.

So I fell in with a new crowd. I had my own place, and more money than an irresponsible kid should. Every night was a party. When I drank, I didn't feel, or think - and that was a good thing. So I drank more. And did other things." Mia lowered her eyes. She wasn't proud of the things she had done back then, and it was hard to admit them to someone whose opinion mattered to her. "There were drugs. And mornings waking up next to strangers, in strange places. In my rare moments of clarity, I hated the way I was living. But I didn't know how to change."

They were sitting with their knees almost touching, hands in their respective laps. Zayn barely moved his pinky so that it lightly stroked the back of Mia's hand. That small gesture of support gave her the confidence to continue.

"One night, at a party at someone else's house, I met a guy. I remember meeting him, and talking to him. I probably would have gone home with him, if he'd asked. Instead, I woke up in an unfamiliar bed with him on top of me. It was dark in the room, and my shirt was pushed up around my neck, and I just remember feeling like I was suffocating. Like I was buried alive. I started screaming bloody murder, and he tried to cover my mouth with his hand, which just made the strangling sensation worse. I bit him and pushed him off of me, yelling hysterically the whole time. We were in a dorm room with other people around, thank god, so when they came to see what was going on, I ran and never looked back."

"He raped you?" Zayn's voice was low and rough, and when Mia managed to look at his face, a muscle in his jaw was flexing dangerously.

"No. He didn't have time." Mia paused, before adding the truth that had haunted her ever since that night. "But he was going to."

Zayn was quiet, and other than the clenched jaw, his expression was inscrutable. Nervously, Mia continued, "Izzy is the only other person who knows this story. But that's the real reason I don't date. For a long time, I was afraid. Afterwards…on the rare occasions I got close enough to someone to be physically intimate, well…you saw what happens. Panic attacks. I saw a counselor, and she gave me some coping mechanisms, but obviously…" Mia waved her hands, helplessly, tears threatening in the face of his silence. She braced herself for the rejection that was surely coming. "I thought I was better, but I'm not. I'm broken."

The look Zayn gave her was so fierce that Mia nearly recoiled. "Fuck that," he snarled. "You are not broken. That asshole took advantage of you at a time when you were already vulnerable, after losing the most important person in your life. I don't care how much you drank, or whatever else you did - you did not deserve for that to happen to you. And instead of letting it defeat you, you picked yourself up, and found a better path, and became the amazing, sweet, talented, beautiful person that I…" Zayn stopped, emotion choking his words. "I can't even imagine what kind of strength it takes to do that."

By the time he finished, Mia was sobbing silently. The relief from sharing the most traumatic experience of her life, and Zayn's compassionate response, was overwhelming. When he opened his arms, she unhesitatingly went to him. He pulled her onto his lap, and Mia buried her face in his chest and cried until her tears ran dry. "It's not that I don't want to be close to you," she whispered.

"Shhh."

"I trust you. I do. But it's an involuntary reaction. I need you to be patient with me."

Zayn hugged her tighter, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "I'll be as patient as you need me to be." He was quiet for a long moment. "Although…" He trailed off, and Mia looked up at him.

"What?"

"Nothing. Never mind."

"Tell me."

"It's just that I couldn't help but notice that there didn't seem to be an issue earlier this afternoon when you were in my lap? Like now?"

"Oh. No. It only seems to happen when someone's on top of me, like he was that night."

The sun was setting behind Zayn now, but Mia could still see his thoughtful expression in the developing dusk. "What are you thinking?"

"I mean, being on top is fun and all, but really, it's a lot more work for me. There are so many other positions we can explore," Zayn explained, playfully nuzzling Mia's neck, tickling her and causing her to giggle somewhat maniacally. Her emotions were on such a roller-coaster, she almost felt intoxicated. Eventually, he paused to let her catch her breath, pressing his forehead to hers. "Is that a jerky thing to say? Because I meant what I said. We can take things as slow as you want."

Mia made a face. "Eh, a little jerky." They both laughed, and she kissed his lips softly. "But also very sweet. Truthfully, I wouldn't mind discovering what other positions you have in mind," she added, suggestively.

Zayn groaned and shifted uncomfortably under her. "I would be more than happy to explain. Or, even better, to demonstrate. But we better head back before it gets too dark."

"Okay."

Mia reluctantly climbed off of him, and they gathered the remnants of their picnic. The sun had almost sunk beyond the horizon, and they would be lucky to have enough light to illuminate the short walk back to the bike. Mia grabbed Zayn's hand as they reached the head of the path. When he glanced down, she simply said, "Thanks."

Zayn smiled and squeezed her hand as he confidently led her through the darkness of the forest.