CHAPTER EIGHT

(JPOV)

My words had been pointed and bordering cruel to her, but I was so angry that I didn't have it in me to stop them from leaving my mouth.

Bitterness had a way of doing that to someone. Once it was rooted deep enough, like a sickness, it would surely grow and invade everything in it's wake. I hated that we were here. That we'd arrived to this point of no return, but here we were, nonetheless.

"Will you at least stay long enough to talk with me while Sarah naps? I want to tell you more of the truth...-about Sam- about what happened." Bella asked, her voice earnest and sincere.

I thought of Emily, and if it wasn't for her, and for the fear of me barging in and ruining the Christmas she'd surely been dreaming of all year, I would have ignored all reason and left, but I couldn't bring myself to do that to her.

I hung up my coat on the rack and turned back to face Bella with my answer.

"There's nothing you can say that will justify you taking off like you did. Nothing. Whatever part Sam played in this, still doesn't excuse the fact that you should have known me better, Bella. You should have come back-"

"I did." She tearfully interrupted. "That's what I've been trying to tell you, Jake. I did come back."

"You're lying." I accused her.

"No, I'm not. Listen to me!" She demanded then, her rise in tone making Sarah startle some as she hurriedly motioned for me to follow her upstairs to her old room.

I was numb as I went after her, the vivid memories of our one night together hard for me to ignore now.

"Out with it-" I huffed, swiftly closing her bedroom door behind us as she paced by the bed. "Tell me-"

"That night- the night we spent together- it- it changed everything for me, Jake. I thought I knew what I wanted-..."

"You did, you married him, remember!?" I sharply countered. "What we shared wasn't enough. It was never enough."

"No-... No, that's not true." She half cried, her cheeks flushing and her eyes glossy with her words. "It was enough. We- We were enough. More than enough. I came to you that night because I knew that I'd been lying to myself. I knew it the moment you kissed me on that mountain before the newborn battle, and I knew it when we were together in your garage. You were the person I wanted to be with. When I left that night, I came back here to find Edward waiting for me in this room. He knew where I'd been. He knew about us. I told him I was in love with you, Jake. He tried to tell me that I was just experiencing cold feet and that I was confused. He said that if I went back to you, if I went through with calling off the wedding, I'd be breaking my promise to the volturi and that without his family's protection, you and the pack wouldn't stand a chance against Aro and the others. He reminded me how ruthless they were. He promised it would be nothing more than a bloodbath on your lands. That Sam and the others would never see it coming and you wouldn't make it out alive from an attack from the Volturi like that. He painted it all out with great detail for me."

She struggled to keep going with the memory as her voice became unsteady with emotion. I swallowed hard and tried to keep the tremors at bay while I continued to listen with a single nod of encouragement for her to keep going.

"Go on." I soon breathed.

"I told him he was wrong, that you and Sam and the pack would be able to ward them off, but that's when he reminded me of something I'd lost sight of when I was with you. That my life, my human life, was not my own anymore and one way or the other, Aro would have me with them, or he'd kill me. There was no other option outside of a life with the Cullens I'd already promised to the Volturi before I had left Italy with Alice and Edward."

I drew in a deep breath, unable to look away from her, as she sat down on the edge of her bed and stared toward the empty rocking chair in the corner by the window.

"He manipulated you, Bella." I blankly stated, while the clear memory of her naked body beneath mine resurfaced, her lips at my ear, telling me over and over again that she loved me. That night had been heaven and hell all wrapped up in one. "- and you let him."

"I did." She stated in truth. "I look back on that now and I know just what he was doing, but at the time, all I could see was the picture of chaos I'd be leaving behind if I didn't go through with the wedding and stick to my promise to the Volturi. I know it wasn't right and that it's not an excuse, but it's the truth."

"How does Sam factor into this?" I hoarsely asked, sitting down next to her as she peered my way again.

"After that joke of a wedding, I got sick. Carlisle thought it was the flu at first. Some rare case I'd caught while on the islands, but days passed and weeks became a month and I knew something else was going on. I woke up in the middle of the night, after having a dream about you, and I swore it was like, you were trying to tell me then. I know that sounds crazy, but it happened. The next morning, I went to town with Alice, and bought the most expensive test there was. Three of them to be exact and there it was...-positive."

The lump in my throat grew larger as I envisioned her finding out, and what it should have been like if she'd stayed with me from the very beginning. What could've been a happy, life changing moment, had turned into heartache and time lost. That made me hate the Cullens all the more if that was even possible.

"Did you hide it?" I guessed then.

"No, I didn't. There was no real way to. Alice knew and Edward saw. I spent the next nine months trying everything I could to be healthy enough for Sarah."

The evident hurt in her voice at the memory made me pause and move a bit closer.

"What do you mean? Were there complications?"

"Many-... if you count the times Edward tried coercing me into ending the pregnancy, and then the time Alice stopped him from trying to take matters into his own hands by slipping something to me without my knowledge. He saw Sarah as nothing more than a huge unforeseen obstacle in his way to the life he imagined."

I was unable to sit still at this, my tremors making movement painful for me when I soon tightly gripped the old warn dresser in the corner of her room for support. The wood easily warped under the pressure from my grip while I desperately tried to control the shaking that demanded my submission for change.

"He tried to trick you into ending the pregnancy?" I ground out.

"Yes, but I was always a step ahead of him. Thanks to Alice and Rose. I have no doubt that Sarah wouldn't be here without them, Jake. So, maybe save your justified hatred for those of the Cullen clan who truly deserve it." She softly replied.

-and Sam!?" I redirected.

"It was late one night. Alice had discovered my plan before I even got a chance to act on it. She helped me by sneaking us out and flying with me back here. Back to Washington. She agreed to stay away when we landed, far enough so I could get the chance to talk to you, Jake. To tell you the truth. But Sam caught wind of her scent and he chased her down, stopping only when he realized that she wasn't alone. He was angry at the possibility of the Cullens being back in town, me included, of course. Alice told him that I needed to see you and he said he'd arrange it if we met at the rivers edge the next night. He gave Alice his word that no harm would come to her if she accompanied me. As arranged, we showed up on time, only you weren't there. Sam came solo again and asked Alice if we could have a moment to speak alone. Alice agreed and made herself scarce long enough for Sam to tell me that he'd spoken to you and that you wanted nothing to do with me."

Bella's voice broke on the last word and she wiped away the few traitorous tears that fell before finishing.

"He said, you'd imprinted on someone, that you'd moved on, as it should be, and you wouldn't even consider the idea of seeing me again. I tried to tell him that it was important, that I had something you needed to know, but he wouldn't hear of it. He kept repeating that you were happy now and that if I ever cared for you at all, I'd leave you alone. I left with Alice that same night and it was the last time I tried coming back to Washington until now."

My blood was boiling, my anger making it hard for me to even see straight right now. Bella got to her feet and stood unsteadily by the bed, her emotion hard for me to ignore with her next admission.

"I didn't leave because I didn't care- I left because I wanted that happiness for you so much more than I even wanted it for myself. Sam said it then, you've moved on and I am sure whoever she is- that she's wonderful and that she's worthy of you, Jake. That's what you deserve. I'll never be able to defend my choice to stay away for as long as I did. For not being persistent enough to see you for myself and to give you the truth you deserved, or the time back you lost with Sarah. I know there's no way to forgive that, but I am telling you all the honest truth that I have to give now, and my sincere hope is that it counts for something."

I was silent for a long time before I could bring myself to answer her and when I did, my heart broke wide open all over again. With suffocating weight, I felt it shatter into a million fragmented pieces.

"We've both been lied to, Bella."

"Wh-What...-" She disbelievingly questioned.

"Sam lied." I further clarified, "For what reason- whether it was his misguided way of trying to protect me or something else, I don't know- doesn't matter- either way, he lied to you about me. About everything, Bella."

I watched her face pale further as the harsh reality of my words sunk in.

Bella shook her head in confusion and stumbled back some until she was sitting down again.

"Wh-why...-why would he- you mean you-... you- you didn't-"

"I never said any of that. I didn't know. Not about the meeting with you and Alice or that you'd come back and wanted to see me. None of it."

"He never even told you?" Bella asked through her tears. "He sent me away without ever telling you anything at all, Jake?"

"Looks that way." I somehow managed.

"I don't understand."

"Neither do I, but I'm sure in hell gonna find out." I sighed. "Bella, there's no imprint. There never was. It was just you. I didn't move on then and I haven't now."

"All that time we wasted...I- ...- Jake, I'm- Oh- I'm so sorry."

I reached for her then, my hardened walls of built up defense crashing down when I pulled her into my arms, as we both cried there for what we'd lost from the lies told at the hands of others.

A/N: Two updates in one night! I love spoiling my readers, especially during the Christmas season! More to come from another update tomorrow! Please review and HAPPY READING!