CHAPTER TEN
(JPOV)
I left Sams and ran until my lungs burned from exhaustion, until my legs wanted to give out and until I felt the pull to go back as I neared the state line.
I was full of so much pain and regret that I didn't know what to do with it. The weight of it was swiftly becoming more than I could take.
Confronting Sam had given me very little relief or satisfaction. In the grander scheme of things, the sad truth was, our exchange only confirmed everything Bella had told me. Her account of it all had proved to be strikingly accurate.
She hadn't been lying to save herself. She'd been one of the only ones to tell me the truth even when it meant she herself had to own her bad choices three years ago.
We'd been worlds apart for so long now and I hated how that felt.
She was still my best friend and I loved her more than she could ever know.
My travel back to the familiar stomping ground of Forks went by faster than my exit from La'Push a few hours prior, and when I stepped out of the clearing from Charlie's back yard, my wolf gaze went straight to Bella's bedroom window.
Her light was still on despite the approaching late hour and I could see the slight shadow lingering there as if she was waiting for me to come back.
Maybe she was.
Did I want her to be?
I phased back to human form and hurriedly pulled on my cutoffs, emerging from the snowy forest with a heavy sigh.
Life was not what I thought it was twenty-four hours ago.
I soon found myself standing next to the large tree below Bella's bedroom window, my sheer exhaustion hard for me to ignore as I peered up toward where she was. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to be near her, that I didn't miss how easy things had once been between us.
It wasn't long before I heard the window open, the strain of the hinges in the cold making a loud scrapping noise as Bella yanked it up and looked down to meet my gaze there on the ground.
"Jake, you came back." She whispered with relief clear in her tone. Her breath billowed out around her in a vapor as she shivered. "Hold on, I can go unlock the house door for you. Charlie is asleep. Sarah too."
I shook my head and motioned for her to back up. She did so without hesitancy and within a few long running strides, I was half way up the tree and swinging myself in through her opened window. I landed with ease and rose to my full height as the sense of deja' vu made us both go silent.
Bella's eyes held mine long enough for her to read the sadness there and she stepped forward with her sincere words then.
"You got your answer and somehow it's still not enough." She knowingly stated. "I'm sorry, Jake."
"Sam was honest. At least that's something. He didn't deny it." I admitted, glancing toward her bed where Sarah was sleeping soundly. "Hope I didn't cause an upset by leaving earlier?"
"No, it's alright. I told Charlie you'd be back sometime. Made up an excuse that you wanted to go check on Billy for a bit today. He didn't ask any questions."
"Did Sarah get to play with some of her new toys?"
"Yes, the ones dad and I got together correctly anyway." Bella chuckled lightly in response. "Some of those Fisher Price kitchens should really come with better instructions."
I chuckled along with her at this and looked toward the half opened box still sitting in the opposite corner of her room.
"Yeah, those toys can be something else to put together. They are not always easy."
"No, they're not." She blushed in return. "Guess I need some work on my mama handyman skills?"
"Maybe a little." I teased. "Or maybe you just need some help?"
"That could definitely be it." She mused.
I noticed her eyes trail over my bare chest then as her blush deepened and she lowered her gaze to the floor.
"I think the two of us can put our heads together and figure this play kitchen out." I told her, crossing the room and pulling the box out into the middle of the floor.
Bella joined me there, hunkering down Indian style next to me as we got to work with assembling Sarahs new play kitchen for her.
"She's going to be thrilled when she sees this in the morning." Bella eagerly stated, while trying to make heads or tales of the instructions again. "So, have they always made these things so hard to understand?"
"Since we were kids I think." I replied. "Don't you remember all the times on Christmas when our parents used to put things like this together after we'd opened them?"
"I do, but I had no idea how much work it could be to actually assemble it. Looks so much easier on the box."
After about an hour had gone by, we'd managed to get the play kitchen put together in the right order and all the parts were accounted for.
"Looks pretty good. What do you think?" I asked, tossing the last page of instructions into her nearby trashcan as she eyed the plastic kitchen with a wide smile.
"I think it was far easier trying to get this thing together with you here than it was all on my own before."
"You know the saying 'team work makes the dream work!"
"We do still make a pretty great team." Bella replied, as she looked toward Sarah. "Despite everything...-"
"I've missed you, Bells." I quietly admitted. "I didn't think I'd ever get the chance to see you again. Not as yourself anyway."
Bella tucked her hands into the sleeves of her long sweater and sat down on the edge of the window sill.
"I didn't want to leave the way I did. It broke my heart, too. Did Sam tell you why he lied before?"
"He believed he was trying to keep me from feeling that kind of pain all over again. I wasn't in the best state of mind after you left, Bella. Was a really dark time for me."
"I can't blame him for wanting to try and shield you from that." Bella sighed. "I really hurt you."
"Doesn't excuse what he did or that he lied to you about something that never even happened."
"Maybe he wanted you to heal?"
"He went about it the wrong way." I countered. "-and it cost me something I can't get back."
"Sarah needs you in her life, Jake. Time missed can't be overlooked but at least there's chances for new memories to be made."
"She doesn't know who I am, Bells."
"I want that to change as much as you do." She replied, sitting down on the floor by her bed and gesturing for me to join her there. "We have to start somewhere, right?"
"I don't know where that is." I confessed.
"I know I have a long ways to go with earning back your trust and I'm more than willing to do that. I don't expect everything to come easy like before-"
"My hope is that it can again ...-someday."
"So, till then, we take it one day at a time?" She offered, placing her head on my shoulder when I settled down next to her.
"Maybe even hour by hour...-till then."
A/N: Thank you for all the great reviews to this story! More to come soon!